#i could never live alone tbh. i'd be so scared every night

[zhuhongs]

hhhhh so im on a ridiculously long ride home and just my phone so tumblr diary entry time lol. if you have my instagram this will make more sense but yk. anyways. so yesterday was the last day of the semester and i was tbh pretty normal abt it. but leading up to it i was a mess and tbh i think my stomach issues actually came more from the stress of knowing im leaving but the alcohol seemed plausible enough an explanation so i ran with it. but nah i was just. hhhh overwhelmed. bc anytime i was out with ppl it disappeared and as soon i was alone and not busy i was like. oh theres the stomach pain. LOL. but yea. so i decided my going away present to everyone would be a drawing of them plus a message bc like. i always said i liked art but never rlly showed my classmates my art so i was like. welp lets go out with a bang. and it felt good bc i really wanted to do smth like this sooner. my initial plan to make a good impression was to print stickers of my art and put my IG on it and get close to ppl that way. but i was just far too stressed and thought itd be weird. so i just. Didnt. and i regret not putting in enough effort at the beginning. but i also feel like its okay, especially given my upbringing. i needed that time to myself to figure it out, and now i really know that i can just. talk to ppl. and not be afraid. bc the ppl i got closest to were the one i swore would judge me most bc of my own preconceived notions, but i told the the parts of me i hid the most and they accepted it. and could at least sympathize and actually relate and i just. why was i so silly. why was i so mean to myself to be convinced that i was so unacceptable that no one except for those who already knew me could accept me and enjoy my presence? i was so silly. i wont do that again, but if i do, it will still be easier than doing it this time bc I'll recognize the patterns and quickly snap out of it.

in a way, i really do feel like i needed all this time alone to process myself and rlly look myself in the eye and recognize the ways ive lived that i can just stop doing now that i have the freedom to be free of my past. and part of me feels like I'm saying that as copium bc i didnt connect sooner and i possibly could have also had a better time with others and still have come to realize the same things and more through the help and company of others. but i also know that i cant live life always thinking so much. so i just need to live and let the regrets be what they are, and move forwards. but the regrets do indeed linger. like i made the decision not to stay in taiwan. bc of well A. money and B. i felt like if i had more time I'd just fucking waste it like i wasted the first 4 months. i might as well force myself into a corner and see if that would make me do things i was too scared to do otherwise. and like, it worked! i did say fuck it and rlly just let loose bc i was gonna leave but now its worked too well. and like i wish soooo bad that i had those 3 months to fully enjoy every chance working out. Part of me says that its best to leave with that hope. rather than have taken that chance and it fizzled out. the thing keeping me from extending the most was honestly knowing I'd have my birthday there. and i could not take the possibility of spending my birthday alone... i legit couldnt stomach it. in the past i used to spend every bday alone but in recent years ive had a mazing friends that actually made my bday special and i just. I'm so used to having that day be nice that i really couldnt take the possibility of it being awkward. but now i realize that it wouldn't have been like that. it couldve been wonderful. but thats okay, in another life. or maybe a few years. who knows. im considering doing smth like this again in like 2 years after I've worked a bit. i have nothing but time. but man. sometimes i just wonder yk.

and last night i had a rlly good one on one talk with my classmate and that was amazing, but i got home and checked IG like a dumbass and say another group of classmates partying til 3am and i was like.... man i should've done that. but like, logically no. i had a great night regardless and i partied with those classmates last week. ive had my fill, and i had things to do today that i needed to be coherent for. but i couldn't help but thinking what if. and i know its not so easy to kill that voice inside my head. its always gonna be there. its not just me, thats the devil of SNS like instagram. bc you see the best parts of everyone's lives at all times and feel like you're missing out but you're not. you only see a sliver of what it really was..but yea. its okay. I'm still so very young. and i just need to treasure now and take whatever chances i get to nourish the connections i have right now and put yourself out there to make new ones when the chances arise. its okay, there is not life that can be lived without saying goodbye. but damn, yesterday at the school gates two of my classmates hit me with the さよなら and that. man i felt it in that moment. theres so much i wish i couldve said in all that time we had to spend together but i just held my tongue bc i was scared. but this was really playing social interaction on hard mode, like the cultural differences, the language barrier, the introversion, the fact it was my first time on my own fr, just, there were soooo many factors working against me specifically. and fuck man, i still did it. and i am still so young, i really can do whatever i want. it feels so weird. ive only been here 6 months but in a way it feels like this is how its always been. like the fact that im going home feels so strange. like i havent been there in years, i honestly cant fully grasp that im gonna be in a place where i speak the language fluently and am fully aware and familiar with my surroundings. like, why does that feel so odd. it does, i legit dont even know how to feel besides strange. i just have a strange pit in my stomach. but its okay. it will pass as everything does. but these days will always live on inside me as everything does. even if i can't fully recall it. so i just have to keep going as always. god. life is trippy man. but yea. Yea. thats it. i think

#🐌.txt #i just dropped off my shit at my friends moms place. now im going home to shower and clean my room. #then im going to get dinner and then go clubbing with my cousin #tomorrow I'll return my room and head down to taichung. and then just vibe. process everything. explore. im really nit expecting much. #i just know i have to keep seeing as much as i can til i leave. and then. fucking... 2 days at my friends moms place. and then. thats #fucking it folks!!! ship my ass back to the US!!

[thedreamingscorpio]

You really a scorp? ...i think your... Idk... more something...else, but scorp.... just for the url?

Idk, either way... If you are, your not half rotten... I think. Still doubt you a scorp tho. Don't know what your like in person tho lol, never talked lmao

Well, I'm a Scorpio ascendant according to Sidereal and Tropical Astrology. Don't know how much of it really works, and exactly how, I mean the subject is a means of understanding through mathematics and observational results so... But anyway, according to Sidereal I'm predominantly a Sagittarius, and a Capricorn according to Tropical. Again, just data, not really useful information, you can think of me as whatever you deem fit. Though I do have to say, that more than the astrology aspect of it, scorpion-the animal is the inspiration behind the URL. It just so happens to match with my horoscope as well, so I let go of the n, and therefore it is what it is, a pun of sorts since the symbol for the sign is the animal as well and therefore the interpretation or it can even be the other way 'round.

Now, I am deathly afraid of scorpions, but living in an area where scorpions, snakes, and mongooses are a common occurrence, it's not the most ideal situation, especially since our house is surrounded by a cultivating garden my grandfather takes care of, so it just invites them to make themselves home and the chances of encountering them become even higher.

Having said that, we live in harmony and it is only during the winter months that we have to deal with them coming into the house. So, it was during one such wintery night, that I was cleaning my room at 3, fueled by anxiety and insomnia when I came across this peculiar variety of a scorpion, that made me jump, quite literally. Unfortunately, I had to call my brother to get rid of it, and naturally, I felt bad. You see this would never have happened had I done what I was supposed to be doing-sleeping, and the fact that I encountered it that late into the night means that they believe in resource partitioning of time and respect my waking hours, it was me who disobeyed theirs and, therefore, we reached the sad conclusion we did.

To top it off, the fact that I encounter them almost annually in a random space of the room, but never once catch them coming in just goes to show how they don't mean me any harm, but it is just my knowledge of their capabilities and the ferocity of their build meant to scare that generates the panic and activates my fight or flight mode.

If I were to learn to deal with my emotions and reactions, I know that I can let them out into their natural habitat and maintain peace, which is something I've seen people talk about but have never seen in practice.

It just reminds me of how my classmates had a baby scorpion meet them once, generate panic amongst them and for them to look for creative ways to get rid of it.

Tbh, I'd have preferred if they'd have killed it on the spot, but what happened that day still brings me to tears.

Apparently, the baby scorpion was really inexperienced and had its tail quite far back and not curled into itself, leaning forward and they could easily cut the stinger off leaving it vulnerable to other predators.

I saw it as their moral responsibility to adopt and take care of it, or at the very least let it go and live whatever life it could even with such vital defense missing. But what they did was... inhumane.

The very much live baby scorpion was dismantled piece by piece as it writhed, and I get being curious as an overtly curious individual myself, but even I could not fathom the reason why they could've done that.

What's worse is the fact that they were all laughs as it struggled to get out, as they shunned the rest of the class as we begged them to leave the poor fellow alone, and then proceeded to throw every single piece down the window.

A magnificent beauty destroyed, no learning sought at the very least.

I remember them letting us know of their discovery once they'd gotten rid of the stinger and it was heartbreaking to see it take any random direction in hopes of an escape, confused.

It is sad how their explanation was lack of torturous noises as confirmation of their wrong-doings or how they could even be called wrong in the first place, or how just because its blood did not have the alarming red color we associate it with, they were very much fine with whatever they were doing.

I remember trying my hardest and crying pathetically that day and the two instances together weighing heavily on my mind when I was trying to search for a possible pen name and therefore URL.

With no help from my friends and my resolve to see scorpions in a new light, I chose the name, the image I searched for, a cutesy, non-threatening(at least in my opinion) scorpion, and therefore is what it is.

Coming back from that detour, the misconceptions and fear we associate with the animal are something that the zodiac sign itself also faces and people associating with the same are often mistreated.

I'd like to clarify here, how I may be reading into this very wrongly so, please forgive my errors and feel free to correct me if that's the case, but I don't know if your perception of me is based off of my possible zodiac makeup or just a general statement, though I'd like to believe it is the latter that is true.

I say this since I have first-hand experience of how people psycho-analyze you and many others just because of this very fact being true, or how they believe that because of the same, the person may have an outward cordiality about them, but that they can never be nice deep-down. It is mistreatment like such that compels me to tell you all that I did and the reason why that although I study Sidereal Astrology myself, I interact with people and not their signs, sometimes things make sense and sometimes they don't, no one knows the complete truth and I believe it is for a reason that the same is true.

I think I've covered your queries to the best of my abilities here and although I talk to myself quite a lot, I can never know how others perceive me and so going by your judgment, I guess not half-rotten it is.

Thank you for the ask and I hope you have a great day Anon!

#TDS Mail #anonymous

[i-loves-my-lemurs]

Hi, I was reading your writers commentary. I love it so much! Do you have any commentary on "Shadows and Terror"? Its my personal favorite. I'd also love to see some commentary on your lovely sugarbuns fic.

Ah, thank you! Sorry it took me so long to get to this, I'm still drowning in coursework and stuff, but I appreciate the ask!

This was my first oneshot I wrote for this fandom, Ted centric this time! I just wanted to see the characters acknowledge their trauma a bit more, so I wrote this for Ted and Pancho. Enjoy the commentary!

.............

*One jab after another at his skin with that sharp spear... water suddenly burst from every wall and flooded them and-*

Ted's nightmare was a mash up of his various scary experiences from Exiled, because of course I couldn't just pick one! He was scared while fighting the war, combined with the loneliness and terror of being cooped up in the submarine, thinking he was trapped alone with a monster. As well as the sub sinking, that couldn't have been fun for him.

This takes place some time after the victory party, but slightly before the first episode of season 5. Just enough time to put some distance between the adrenaline of the war and the partying, and allow the weight of the experience to truly catch up with Ted.

*his eyes wide in terror. He frantically looked this way and that, checking the shadows around the room*

The title of the fic is incooperated in this paragraph, but it actually took me a super long time to pick a title. I eventually re-read some sections and thought, yeah this sounds good. Shadows and Terror still sounds a little fancy for this work tbh.

*looked up to see Dorothy standing about him*

I decided not to being Ted and Dorothy's marital problems into this, so they're very sweet with each other and they both care a lot.

(Also instead of about it's meant to say above, argh, embarrassing typo!)

*She quickly released him, seeing how jumpy he was*

Dorothy doesn't quite know what's going on with Ted, but she's trying to be supportive the best way she can.

*it reminded him of those long nights in the submarine when Julien*

Ted's train of thought runs away with him here, he's still half caught up in the dream poor guy, and suddenly he's having a flashback to the sub.

*Pancho was whining about their whining*

I can see Pancho just getting very fed up with consistent negativity when he's trying to focus on driving the sub, even if he too is just concerned about the kingdom. I wrote this fic before I started shipping panchulien actually, the early days.

*Ted had just quietly sat down in the corner of the room,*

Poor Ted, I imagine he definitely wasn't complaining as much as the others, he had been alone on the sub for longer than them and just needed a hug.

*All he could hear now was his own breathing, short and panting, and Dorothy, oh heck, she was talking*

Ted zones back to reality, the fic is written from his POV so you can read along his thought process. As he comes back to reality, realising Dorothy is talking completely throws him off guard.

*I just... I guess I'm still jumpy from the whole mountain lemur, submarine fiasco."*

Ted sort of dances around the issue, he doesn't even want to directly mention the word 'war'. He only hints at the things that are scaring him to try and keep Dorothy's worry to a minimum, and because talking about it will make it even more real.

*rubbed the fur on his head, something which he often found soothing*

These lemurs need to groom each other more!!! I get the feeling Ted and Dorothy might like physical contact if one of them is upset (not if they're upset because of each other obviously), but grooming would be a comfort to many of the lemurs, especially physically affectionate Ted.

*tried to force himself to relax*

Poor leem, he just wants the scary stuff to be over so he can be alright and be sunny old Ted again, but unfortunately for him, things aren"t that simple.

*his tail stiffening like it did under imposed threat. He even heard a low growl being forced from his throat*

I'm not sure if I actually researched if lemurs do this, or if I made it up on the spot, but it seems like something they might do when threatened (any experts want to weigh in?).

*She could tell Ted was still tense from the way he was clutching his tail. "Look, maybe you should see Doctor S?"*

As much as Ted tries to hide it, Dorothy can tell something is wrong. Despite their problems, it's obvious that she cares very deeply for him and she just wants to see him be himself again.

*Yep!" Ted tried to sound as merry as he wanted to feel.*

Ted is definitley the sort to try and put on a facade of everything being okay, especially when Dorothy is involved. Secretly he knows it can't be like this forever, but he wants to pretend for as long as he can. Kind of like his marriage. That's also why he wants to be away from Dorothy. He knows she can see right through his little facade and he's not ready to face the truth yet.

*"At this time of night?"*

This takes place at around two in the morning, late enough for Ted, Dorothy and most of the kingdom's subjects to be asleep, but still early enough for Pancho Horst and Willie to still be partying.

*Ted couldn't help but clutch at his tail as he walked....bit his lip as he tuned into the sounds of the jungle all around him.*

Ted would totally hold his tail like a snuggie to comfort himself. And since he's already jumping at shadows, being alone in a place where the war was just fought would terrify him. Even though he's lived in the jungle all his life, the war has left him so wary of danger that everything feels very scary and unfamiliar.

*Snoring lemurs who weren't paralysed in fear by nightmares and memories.*

Ted feels a little left out and jealous as the rest of the kingdom is able to sleep and move on from the war. It makes him feel isolated, which is why finding solace with Pancho is important for him later in the fic.

*Sweet mango juice, what was he thinking*

I tried to copy Ted's exclamative speaking style here, but it doesn't quite match up to how it sounds in the show. Oop.

*sign that read 'MANGO TANGO'*

Fun fact, I tried to get the bar's title to be in italics, but a03 glitches on me and turned the entire text into italics, and because coding is a nightmare and I just decided to have it in caps instead.

*Ted recognised Horst, Willie and Pancho.*

These guys are drinking buddies. CANNON!

*"The stinking drink's in your hand, you buffoon!" Pancho said grumpily*

I'm not 100% happy with the way Pancho is written here, but it is pretty good for a first attempt. It kind of makes sense though, Pancho was having a good time with his pals and is a little annoyed that their night has to end. Also he's annoyed at himself for letting Horst get into this state.

*Pancho winked at him*

Small hint at panched in there, it was my first ship for this show and I still think it's neat.

*which he promptly collapsed onto seconds later.*

Poor Willie, he's just very done now, and needs sleep. Pancho just didn't want their partying to end, so he unwittingly wore his homies down on their night out.

*"You wanna come back to the Mango Tango with me?"*

Pancho is still very desperate to keep the night going, even if it isn't with his drinking buddies. He just needs company.

*Pancho released Ted almost immediately. "Sorry, I just, don't want to be alone." Pancho muttered, looking embarrassed.

Ted was a little surprised by his outburst, but deep down, he knew he might have done the same thing.*

Ah, poor babies. I thrive off the angst.

*exited Willie's hut and shut the door behind them.*

Courtesy.

*Together, they climbed*

Ted and Pancho sort of have a kindred spirit vibe going here. They're both going through similar experiences and avoiding them by being out at night. They need each other, even if they don't know it.

*tall tree that had many different people's huts in it*

Baobab tree? Is that what you were going for, past me?

*Pancho chuckled as he continued to stare out across the jungle. "I'm not sure if I ever went to lemur school." He said eventually.*

Now that they're up above the village and everything, Pancho's beginning to slow down and their conversations become more meaningful. He's put some distance between his late night drinking and now he just wants some solidarity in his pain and meaningful company, which, thankfully, Ted can give.

*he really didn't know much about Pancho's side of things.*

I have to wonder what the POV of people who weren't directly involved in Panchurian would be. I think Ted would probably be quite confused about what happened to Pancho, and why he suddenly has a house now and everything. But hes too polite to ask, so it's only now he finds out.

*Ted sighed and glanced up at Pancho*

Ted sort of looks up to Pancho after seeing how brave and badass he was in Exiled, and he's always veiwed Pancho as this macho, confident swagger guy, and hopes that he might be a source of consolation that could help Ted feel 'normal' again.

*"but even when that something's over and you know it's never going to hurt you again you just can't help being terrified"*

All this would definitley resonate with Pancho and the first thing he does is to encourage Ted to do what's best for him because he cares. He doesn't want Ted to end up like him because of trauma.

*"Don't apologise." He said. Ted glanced back at him. "It's, uh, it's alright to get scared by that stuff"*

Pancho shows Ted that it's okay to be scared, because if Ted continues to bottle up his feelings then he won't be Ted anymore.

*"You know I got brainwashed, right?"*

Poor Panchy just wants to open up to someone. He's been shoving his feelings down, but now it's all coming to the surface because of how he relates to Ted right now. He needs some more chances to talk about the things that haunt him.

*"Soft!" Ted exclaimed, hands on his hips.*

Ted was a little hung up on being a 'tough guy' after Exiled, so that shows through here.

*"And I'm assistant captain of the ringtail guard!"*

This little rant feels very in character for Ted. I enjoyed writing it.

*"but I just can't bring myself to pay them a wedding visit!"*

A wedding visit was a custom in the olden days of England, and I can absolutely see Ted doing it and bringing the newly weds gifts.

*leaned back against the branch they were sitting on.*

At the beginning of this scene, Pancho was clutching the tree trunk, now he's relaxed. He's feeling more comfortable with Ted.

*"Why don't you talk to your wife, she'll help."*

Helps to establish a functioning support system. Pancho knows Ted has people he can turn to, so encourages him to do so.

I am completely all for this friendship. Ted would help Pancho with his issues without hesitation, and obviously I wrote this with the idea that nobody would be completely okay after Exiled. I just wanted to explore their issues further, and for my first fic in this fandom, I think it's pretty good.

...............

And that's it! Thanks again for the ask :)

#wow i haven't posted anything in a while #(it's barely been 2 days but still) #ask #friend ask #fanfic commentary #trauma mention #fanfiction #ahkj

[dovechim]

After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???” 

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but  still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”) 

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect  😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/ 

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing  😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!! 

come back whenever you have time bb

#answered #long story anon #Anonymous

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Grace

Rio: Gracie! Can't tie either parental down so you're unlucky enough to be my first port of call Rio: If I come down this week (half term, right? God I feel old not knowing, ick!) how many of yous are gonna be about? Wanna catch all of you if I can Grace: I'm not surprised, Nico thinks mum's charger is the most fun thing EVER and you know dad still kicks it like he's at some 70s disco instead of a restaurant kitchen. So cringe! Grace: Iggy's took off in the van and Pablo's never here even when he is (ugh we get it, you're hanging shush) but everyone else maybe? Grace: Unless Junior's nerding it up idk Rio: Bless them, you'll miss them when you go Rio: Mum and Dad, the cats, only your faves and Nico is a little bitch 😂 Rio: Good enough for me! Sure enough I'll only hold any of yas down for a hot second regardless Rio: What've you been up to? Got any fun plans then? Grace: 😂 No way they're the worst and won't give me the chance Grace: Ask Janis they're always in her grill now she has a bf she can't ever peel herself off of Grace: Gurl you better make time for me! 😚 London's like another planet and I need that goss Grace: Gotta keep uploading that 🐰🐣 content Grace: but keeping it lowkey 👌 Rio: They're highkey nerds, tis true, least they give a shit, eh? 😘 Rio: Fucking knew it, sneaky bitch. I asked her at NYE and she said nah but I KNEW Rio: Ugh, gonna give her SO much shit when I come back 😂 Rio: Duh! My goss might not set the teenybop influencer world alight but think you'll be into it Rio: Also, got some lush bunny ears from work you can style up if you like, there's the content Rio: Very Ariana Grace: We're so blessed 🙏 Grace: OMFG THANK YOU 👏 she's such a lying bitch Grace: And they are so 😍💍💘 it's HONESTLY disgusting like I can't Grace: YAS 👑!! babes I knew I was missing you Grace: Such a mood Rio: 🙌 Rio: Steady on 😂 Fill me on the beef before I'm taking sides Rio: Can't roll like that babe 🙉 Rio: Is he a twat? I could barely get a look in, hot property with the whole fam that night not just Jan, like 😏 Rio: Right? My turn to THANK YOU 'cos all the other girls were raging after me lemme tell you, saying it reeked of misogyny and cheesy old school playboy Rio: Not educated in Hef paving the way for ladies being allowed to be sexual, ESP the sistas 💣💥 Rio: Its iconic, yeah? Like hush Grace: Honey not even! Now he's got her feeling the 💖 we all benefit Grace: Like from 💀 to 😍!! Grace: Here's the thing he's NICE!! 😮 How and who tf !! 😂 In THESE ends Grace: He's pimped my feed with his 📷 more that once. Lush! Grace: Trust her to find the one decent lad Grace: OMG how shaming! it's literally so on point I feel bad for how off they are. Beyond awkward Grace: 👯💜 Rio: Can't argue with that Rio: It'll be nice to see her happy Rio: All of yous Rio: Yeah, had noticed your new lad was off the feed Rio: Just not the one or do I need to crack skulls on YOUR behalf? Spill! 😘 Maybe Gus has had his 💔 Rio: Right? Not complaining when they were raking in the tips and looking fly doing it, this is why Vinnie listens to me and not them though so 💋 win win for me Grace: 🤞 Grace: UGH don't go there babe Grace: I'm off men rn 🙏 so you can relax Grace: Give Gus and Diego their time to shine 😂 Grace: OMG PLEASE say you can finally get me in sometime soon! 💋 Rio: Good girl 👍 Rio: Me too, more trouble than they're worth, and I'll always check what they're worth, feel me Rio: Love 'em 😂 I'd say they keep me sane but not with the shenanigans they still manage to get themselves into, nah lads Rio: You're old enough that I can vouch for you with him to get you in but Imma need to go out in Dubo with you first Rio: See how you handle your liquor, can't be risking the boss' license if you're gonna get #WGW 😏 Grace: I 100% swear down that D has a 💘 at his school but he's pulling a Jan over it so Grace: Yay! I'm buzzing Grace: Say when and I'll be on it Grace: The vibe looks EPIC in every insta it's 💕 Rio: Surely not! My babies! 😭 Rio: I've changed all ya nappies, it ain't right, I tell ya! 👵 Rio: Whenever you can pencil me in darling 💋 If you come back on the plane with me you'll only have to do the one back alone Rio: Unless you want to bring a mate but you've gotta vouch for them 'cos I don't know them enough to put my name on the line, they ain't my little sister 💛 Grace: 😂😂 I had to go full spa on him cos he was 🙎 and not vibing with the sheet masks he'd been stealing from me for WEEKS 😂😂 Grace: He's so 😍 for someone Grace: This is HAPPENING 👌 Mum'll say yes cos it's obvs for my mental health Grace: It's enough for collab our schedules tbh imagine trying to get the squad hooked up Rio: Aww! What a little sweetie! 😭 Giving me so much fodder to get 'em all with, yas gurl! 🙊 Rio: She defs knows the benefit of letting ya hair down and if she disagrees then she ain't our Muvva 👽 Rio: Same when I was your age, so many parties, so much time stretching ahead...ugh, hark at me Rio: Speaking of though, Pabs has managed to keep outta the drunk tanks since my last visit, yeah? 🙄 Chief Grace: I'd say go easy cos the acne is !! but where was mine was I was a 🍕 me and payback are bitches that have each other's backs like 😂 Grace: So welcome 💋 remember who treated you right hun 😚 Grace: Oh babe that's proper tragic 😂 Are you okay?! Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: I'd lie to spare your feels but I can't even cos he is not forgiven! Fuck him truly Rio: Way harsh babe! Gotta share that knowledge and spot treatment 🙏 older sib duties ✌ you only gotta look out for them 3, feel MY pain when I wanna be a petty bitch please 😉😂 Rio: Clearly not, like...What tf am I like? 🙈 Rio: Still in the dog house then...I hope little miss tiny tits is too, seen her being snide on the 'gram Rio: we know she's no 😇 so as long as she's getting her share of the 💩 from you, I ain't judging on the Pabs score 👌 Grace: 😈 LMAO jks obvs I'm living for getting to flex like that Grace: Nobody else lets me near their face, their loss but still BOO Grace: Ugh yes cos he doesn't even see that he did me WRONG she was trying he's just an idiot and its like BOY NO Grace: Never learning them lessons Grace: 🚫 No worries there she's BEYOND cancelled 🚫 Grace: I hate that bitch Rio: That's why you gotta get them clients honey, just you wait, people will be BEGGIN' for your time and expertise 😘 Rio: Yeah, he's a fool in general though Rio: Not to say that ain't valid, 'cos 100% babe, but it wasn't personal, like Rio: Try to remember that 'cos he's not that boy, no matter what typa foolishness he's caught up in rn 😒 Rio: 👏 I like what I'm hearing, Gracie! So much growth! Rio: Here for it Grace: I feel you but also it's like idk it was personal to me cos she was my best friend and he knew that Grace: On some level idk Grace: Whatever I'm trying to be over it Grace: There's bigger 🐠 Rio: Fair Rio: Idk if he knows he knew...Mouthful Rio: Give him time and a chance, but that's it, sensible big sister said her piece on that, you're free to go on doing what you're doing 😜 Grace: Thanks 👑 Grace: Rio, I can forreal come to london right? Like you're not just shhing me Grace: I'm so done with this place atm Rio: Of course you can Rio: As long as the 'rents sign off on it, you can stay for as long as you like Rio: That's Dubo for ya...gets under your skin Rio: Anything else I can do, tho? Grace: 💜 Grace: Ugh it's just everything Grace: There's barely anything I can do Grace: Ignore me I'm a hormonal 👾 Rio: Have you had your B12 and folates checked? Billie and Edie were anaemic you should double-check 'cos that will have you feeling rough as Grace: 👼 You're adorbs Grace: Enough of my chatter anyway, how are you? Rio: 👀 okurr but we're coming back to this later Rio: 'cos I'm same old same old Rio: Nothing beyond the promised goss of London to report Rio: No boys, remember? Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: Oh please you always have a boy Grace: Spill it Rio: 😨 Swear on my life, babe! Rio: Nothing and no one Grace: We're twinning then 💕 Grace: Do tell Janis 😂 Rio: Coming for ya brand Rio: Shameless 😏 like to think I could pass, not that old or having THAT crisis tho, jfc Grace: 👯💣🔥 Grace: You're flawless babe don't even stress Grace: when I'm your age I'll have to pray Rio: Aww, you doll, extra brownie points for boosting my ego 💋 Rio: What you chattin'?! We're all babes, lbr Grace: 😂 shhh avó be repping herself hard in me and no offence 👵 it's not goals 💔 lmao Grace: obrigado,... mas não, obrigado like she rocks it but she's also way old so Grace: the struggle is real 😂 Rio: You're mad gal Rio: don't be wasting your youth hating on what you'll miss Rio: though we all age like fine wine, avó paving the way 💣 Rio: Ma was onto something having us so young Grace: Don't let her hear you say that Grace: My ears are still ringing from her calling me out Rio: umm Rio: BISH YOU WHAT Grace: 🤷 No drama just Rio: You weren't on the pill? Or missed a day? Rio: We've all had the scare but I never got as far as needing to tell Mum Rio: You poor thing! 😨🙈 Grace: Well obvs that was my bad but she only made me die about a thousand times Grace: I survived Rio: Eeep! Rio: At least she didn't march you down the clinic in a shame cone like most would round here Grace: OMG like she made me go but my ootd was my own doing 🙏 Rio: Not so much as a high collar in sight 🙌 Rio: Explains your hormones though, babe, that shit will FUCK you up for ages Rio: so no worries there Grace: I know exactly what I'm in for Grace: Ugh Rio: Forreals Rio: Who'd be a fucking woman, eh? Grace: Mia. To fuck over the others Grace: kms Rio: 😂 Rio: Fueled by her PMS that one Grace: [Sends her 2 very similar selfies} which one do you vibe the most with? Rio: 1st one, s'more natural Rio: smile ALMOST reaches your eyes Grace: lmao Grace: Thanks babes Rio: if you gonna fake it 'til you make it Rio: gotta keep you the realest, ain't I? 😉 Grace: gotta keep me 😂 Rio: Wanna Rio: Blood ties aside 😘 Grace: 💜 Rio: Best get ready for work Rio: Could use you here to do my look for me, cba tonight 😐 blah Grace: I'd be living for that you know it but you'll be killing it with or without me, honey Grace: You got this gurl Rio: Cheers 🍸 Rio: I'll get the first round in when I see ya boo 💋 Grace: Yay! So excited 😚

[mystic-sky]

I'm in the mood for angst lol. If you don't mind, I'd like to request Zen, Jumin, Jaehee, Saeran, and V dealing with MC's death. I'm thinking probably sudden death, like an accident or a medical condition she wasn't aware she had, etc., but tbh I'm gonna leave all that up to you. ^-^

WARNING SENSITIVE CONTENT: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

I got a little emotional myself so i had to put that there

it got a lil dark for me with V’s

I’ve never done angst before? I don’t think I have. But I’ll give it a shot, enjoy :)

Zen

He wasn’t there when he heard that had you collapsed. His heart dropped when he received a call from Jumin, his least favorite person, about the news.

“I’m a little busy right now. What the hell do you want, trust fund kid?” He muttered into the phone.

“This is serious, Zen. You need to come to the hospital on main street. It’s MC, she.. she isn’t okay..” Jumin trailed off.

“What? What happened?” Zen said.

“Mr. Han, she’s not breathing.”

“It says that she has a DNR on file.”

“I have to call you back. You need to come here, fast.” Jumin said.

The line went dead and Zen stood there.

“I have to go.” He said to his supervisor.

“But we still have one more scene to cover-

“This is urgent. My girlfriend’s in the hospital.” He says, grabbing his jacket. He bolted to the nearest train station, hopping over the turnstile.

He got there 15 minutes too late, baffling all the medical professionals with questions after a heartfelt crying session.

(Let’s pretend MC has that unspecified disease that Kaori had from Your Lie in April, if you’ve ever seen that anime before, yeah?)

He felt like shit, everyone was there except for him.

“I don’t understand. What do you mean she had a DNR?”

“You don’t think…that MC knew she was sick..” Jaehee inquired.

“Nonsense! She would’ve told me! I know everything there is to know about her!” Zen spat.

“The doctor’s said she was on all sorts of medications…that she was only prolonging the inevitable…” Jumin said, loosening his tie.

You both didn’t live together, how would was he supposed to know that?

Zen peered back through the hospital door window, before walking in the room once again.

You were laying their peacefully.

You looked weary and pale now, compared to how he saw you this morning.

“I didn’t even know.. Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t want me to worry? Well, look at me now..I’m a mess.” He said, looking down at you.

He lent down to kiss your still warm forehead.

He stayed with you for hours, until he was forced to leave.

Funeral was too much

You didn’t have family so it was kind of just the RFA

Jumin

He was on a business trip when he heard the news

He had actually been begging to bring you along but you insisted that he went alone.

“MC, I’ll pay for your plane ticket and everything. You don’t have to worry about a thing.” He said, snuggling into you. Little did he know this would be the last time he’d be sleeping with you since his flight was in the morning. 

“Jumin, I can’t just get up and come with you whenever you go on a business trip. Besides, it’s only for two days. You’ll be fine.” You insisted.

“But I’ll miss you too much.” He said, leaving kisses on the back of your neck. 

“I’ll be here when you come back.”

Less than 48 hours later, you had died in a car crash.

He had landed in and been in Dubai for only 4 hours and of course he booked it back in minutes to see you.

“I just…I just saw her this morning…” Jumin said, biting back tears. “There’s no way she could actually be gone.”

When he got to the hospital he was more angry than grieving.

“What do you mean there was nothing you could have done to save her?!” He’s giving the doctors a hard time.

“She had died on impact, Mr. Han. Her car… it stopped moving in the middle of a main street. And then the truck just came and rammed into her. The weight of it came down, nearly scraping the whole upper half of the vehicle, along with her in it.” Said the medical examiner.

The funeral was the hardest for him

closed casket 

He found himself sitting in front of it after the viewing when everyone left.

“You told me I’d be fine. I don’t feel fine at all right now MC.” 

“You should’ve just let me bring you with me. I know how difficult I can be sometimes but I just want..I wanted to protect you.”

He’s a mess

I’m a mess

Jaehee

This one was some sort of freak accident.

She was there

You both went to the mall and there was this huge gas tank explosion that went off in one of the lower levels

There were reports of people who could smell gas but the staff didn’t move quick enough and a number of people died 

including you

“Jaehee, I think we should save the shopping for another day. Besides, I’m getting a weird vibe and it smells like gas on the whole first floor.” You told her while you both were inside one of the stores.

“I agree. I’ll pay for this and then we can leave.” She smiled.

Every second counts, you both could’ve made it out of there if she put down the dress she wanted.

“We were both holding hands, walking towards the exit. And then suddenly there was this really loud sound..and lots of shaking. The upper floors didn’t hold up and started collapsing. That’s when she pushed me out the way.. and.. and..” Jaehee choked out in her hospital bed. 

Zen was there to console her.

jaehee x zen

ill go home

lots of hugs for Jaehee

she’s too precious for this

Saeran

You had always been a bit on the wild side, something he wasn’t too fond of.

You recommended going hiking one weekend.

As usual, if he thought it would make you happy, he’d go along with it.

“Saeran, how about we go hiking in the mountains this weekend? I’ll even pack up a picnic basket with snacks and stuff.” You said cheerily.

“You wanna have a picnic in the mountains? Can’t we just go to the park like a normal couple?” He said, not really up for it in the beginning.

“That’s the first time you called us a couple!” You cooed, literally jumping onto him on the couch.

“If you don’t get off me I’ll take it back!” He spat.

“You don’t mean that! I love you so much Saeran.” You said, showering him with kisses.

He’s a blushing mess right now.

The weekend comes and you guys go out on your hiking trip. After a sunset picnic dinner you guys head back down.

“Are you sure we can walk on this bridge, Saeran?” You said, checking it’s sturdiness. 

“It’s the quickest way down.” He insists. “See, the city lights are that way. We could go back the way we came but that’d take another hour.” He said.

“O-Okay..”

He walks ahead of you and you trail slowly behind him. 

Believe it or not he slipped first, having one of his feet break through one of the wooden logs.

“Shit, my leg!” He cries out.

“Saeran!” You say. “Don’t worry I’m coming to help you!’ 

You run towards him, having several of the wooden logs break. The whole bridge collapses now, sending both of you towards the bottom of the pit.

Saeran survives the fall, having being cradled by a tree on the way down, whereas you suffer a different fate.

Your body hits the grounds, breaking your bones, etc.

It takes a while for Saeran to come to, before he climbs down from the tree with aching limbs.

He finds you there, no signs of being alive. He realizes that your gone and lets out an agonizing scream.

“God why?! She did nothing wrong! I’ve sinned far more than she ever could have!”

He spends the rest of his life thinking it should’ve been him.

Might never love again

V (Jihyun)

You two had gotten into a fight about god knows what

Being the stubborn person you are, you storm out of the house, leaving him to think about the issue

You turned off your phone, not wanting to be bothered

Of course, maybe 15 mins later he goes out looking for you

He hates it when you both fight, mostly because it took him so long to start loving someone again. You mended his broken heart and he couldn’t bare the fact that you were upset with him.

You were walking in the dead of night, nothing could be seen but the street lights and parked cars on the curb.

“I don’t like it when we fight either. Maybe I should go back home.” You say to yourself, deciding to turn back and go home. You knew he’d be willing to talk it out. That’s just how he is.

You’re walking back home now, thinking about what to say to him. You wanted him to know you were sorry, that you didn’t mean to yell at him. You were just angry.

Then, you heard a bottle roll behind you.

“Is someone there?” You say, whipping your head behind you. There was nothing. Nothing but cars on the curb. Or so you thought.

You were speed walking now.

You turned you phone back on and called Jihyun, who immediately answered the phone.

“MC! I was so worried about you! I kept calling you but it kept going to voicemail. Where are you?! Are you oka-

“I think I’m being followed. I’m scared Jihyun.” 

“Where are you?! Go towards the main street with lots of people, okay? Find a store or a gas station!”

“I’m walking home. The main street is back in the other direction- where I heard the sounds.”

“I’m coming down the street right now! Keep walking. And don’t look back, they might attack you if they know you suspect them!” He says.

“Okay.”

You kept walking but the person behind only walked faster, grabbing you.

“Now, what’s a pretty young thing like you doing out here at this time of night?” 

“Let go of me!” Swung your fists, dropping the phone.

“MC?! Hello, MC?!” He was yelling into the phone now. He jetted down the street, searching for you.

“Don’t give me a hard time now-AHH!” Said the attacker as you stepped on his foot.

You bolted down an alleyway, only to be caught at a dead end.

“Stay away! Dammit I said stay away!” You screamed.

Jihyun was running down the street he thought you were on.

“She should be here. This is the only way you can walk to get back towards the apartment.” He could barely breathe. He’d been panicking since he lost contact with you.

It wasn’t until he found your phone, with the call still going, that he assumed the worst.

“She must be this way then.” He said, peering into the dark alleyway.

He ran down the dark path, finding a man fondling your limp body.

“Get your hands off of her!” Jihyun snapped at this point, throwing a nearby brick at the man’s skull, immediately knocking him out.

There was blood everywhere, now a mixture of the man’s and yours.

He dropped to his knees, beside your body, cradling you.

“MC, wake up.” He didn’t sound like himself but he didn’t care.

You didn’t move.

He lent down towards you nose and mouth, and there was nothing.

His tears spilled onto your lifeless body and the longer he held you the more his hands became soiled with blood. 

He was too late and he knew that.

#mysme #mystic messenger #v route #jihyun kim #jumin han #mysme zen #jaehee kang

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: Soooooo Ali: How'd your date go? Ro: I'm not sure who you meant to send this too, but perhaps try again? Ro: You can't mean me Ali: Coy, that's how you're playing it, I see Ali: Solid choice 😉 Ali: You and Drew musta been agonising over coffee options then Ro: What are you talking about, Ali? Ro: It was just a coffee stop for everyone, rehearsal fuel Ro: You know full well I've never been on a date Ali: I know full well that was just a ploy for some alone time with you Ali: and not yet but it is so clearly on the cards! Ali: I'd start dropping hints now, otherwise who knows where you'll end up Ro: Don't be ridiculous? Drew isn't remotely interested in me like that Ro: Why would he be? He has his pick of girls at school, and beyond the gates, too I'm sure Ali: Because you're you and he should be so lucky Ali: A bombshell with brains to boot Ali: Yeah, he's got a rep but he's being uncharacteristically sweet with you so, taking him at face value Ali: Anyway Ali: What do YOU think of him? More importantly Ro: Oh no no, this isn't a transformation story whereby I take off my glasses or get my braces taken off finally and am suddenly considered good enough for the protagonist Ro: Besides, I'm not even smart, just a hard worker Ro: Most importantly, he's always sweet with Meena so it's hardly uncharacteristic Ro: Other than knowing him as her kind older brother and Caleb's friend I really don't, know him that is Ali: Oh hush ignoring the fact that art is always a poor imitation of life and not the other way 'round Ali: He's love interest #1 at best, potential to be more if he sticks to his lines Ali: You're the loveable protagonist, silly Ali: Hmpf, fine. Would you like to know him better then? Ro: Of course, like I said, he's kind and sweet and Caleb's proven himself to be a good judge of character Ro: I just fail to see why he'd be interested in getting to know me, beyond being civil to me for the aforementioned reasons of mutual connections with important people Ro: He's Drew Goldsmith and I'm me Ro: We're incompatible given even the little we are both aware of concerning each other Ali: Well, I dunno about that, I think he's a fool and my evil plan is working 😏😂 Ali: Because he fancies you Ali: Potentially Ali: This stuff can defy usual logic, for better or worse, opposites CAN attract or repel in the case of humans Ali: But he wants to find out, I know this practically for a fact (of course, I haven't asked, don't worry) so its up to you to decide if you do too Ro: I have no idea what you believe you possess in terms of knowledge about his attractions or intentions but I highly doubt you're right in so far as him fancying me Ro: Sorry to say Ro: He may look like Connla of the Golden Hair but I am by no means a fairy maiden Ro: If only I could be noble born, never grow old or indeed never die Ali: Have you forgotten what happened to the last person to question my omniscience, sister? 🤔🍄💀😉 Ali: And have you also forgotten who and what you are, 'just because they told us too Ali: Cannot believe what I'm hearing here, I refuse to! Ro: of course I haven't Ro: but perhaps I should try and grow up, or at least be more realistic, when it comes to this Ali: Never! We do live in those green and pleasant hills after-all Ali: Won't stroke his ego as hard as to say UNLIMITED pleasures await but Ali: Everyone is positively like a silly child when it comes to love Ro: It isn't love though and therein lies the issue Ro: Simply a silly crush on my part and polite interest on his Ali: It rarely is at first sight Ali: and there's nothing polite about how keen he is Ali: See where it takes you, that's all Ali: he's clearly going to be hanging 'round jam seshs' and the like as long as you're about so whatever it will be, its inevitable Ro: I thought it would be, the whole charade of fireworks when our eyes collide and butterflies in my stomach. Everything clear and definite Ro: I'm afraid of whatever this is Ali: That's just horniness Ali: You just have better restraint than romance novel writers, is all Ali: Its aright to be afraid, its new and unknown Ali: Here be monsters Ro: Well that is comforting, especially if it ensures I won't fall as hard and fast as those heroines do Ro: particularly if I'm destined to do so alone Ro: Okay...but what if the monster is revealed to be me, in his eyes anyway, what if he gets to know me and doesn't like what he discovers Ali: Sure it was the corsets, poor girls could barely breathe, makes swooning all the more likely, those dastardly dandies! Ali: Then he's as bad, and ignorant (and MORE scared of the unknown than you feel right now), as every explorer who wrote natives off as savages Ali: You are far from a monster in every sensible definition Ali: Misunderstanding maketh monsters Ali: So that'd be on him, can't control other's perceptions but he isn't going to think you are, there's just no reason to Ro: I know you're right but Ro: I just suppose I wish I could control something Ali: I know Ali: Well, one thing you can control is your yay or nay to whatever he's offering up Ali: Not suggesting you have to make the first move, or put it all out on the line, 'cos he definitely will Ali: #gentleman Ro: That much is definite Ro: We should call another rehearsal, allow you to guide my vision to where yours currently reside so I'm not blindsided Ro: because I'm just not seeing what he wants with me Ali: Absolutely Ali: I'm really feeling the whole band thing too Ali: Are you enjoying it? Ro: Unexpectedly so, yes Ali: Right? I think everyone is Ali: Its something Ro: I've never played in front of that many people outside of a recital setting, I thought I'd mess up but it wasn't like that at all Ro: And everyone there seemed really into it Ro: Who knew there was so much respective talent surrounding us? Ali: Mess ups are more than welcome but you're flawless Ali: Me me me! 😊 Ali: Toying around with the idea of doing some local performances Ro: Flawless was you and Caleb Ro: I've never heard your voice so complimentary in a duet before, don't tell Marlene Ro: Oh? I think the others would be into that Ali: 💕 Ali: Might get her so raging she'd have to join us to prove you wrong Ali: I know it probably sounds a bit soon but like you said, performances are so different to practice and whatnot Ali: People would vibe Ali: There's all the places I've done solo, they'd be chill, and you know Suggs? Left School this year gone Ali: He's having a big Bday party for his gf and he's asked if I could do something Ro: Terrifying as it'd be to make a possible enemy of her, she's a very good bassist Ro: Very true, and too much practice can make it sound too rehearsed which clearly isn't what you're going for with this Ro: I heard Caleb talking to Drew about potentially performing at the restaurant so he'd be excited for sure Ro: Hm...I'm not certain I know who you mean but a gig's a gig Ro: Would he be alright with you bowing out as a soloist? Ali: She is Ali: She's gonna come around on her own tho, I know her Ali: She's just pouting Ali: Understandably, I'm not being as glib as I sound, just, we weren't right Ali: Exactly! That would be chill, you've gotta come thru with me just to get food, it's delicious and its beautiful Ali: Yeah, of course, one person can only rock out so hard solo Ali: Even if that one person is me Ali: Like, Bowie had a band, ya feel? Ro: I trust you and your intuition Ro: When's the party? Ro: I need to mentally prepare Ali: ✌ Ali: we've got 2 weeks to prep, assuming he doesn't get his arse dumped Ali: awkies, want us to play you out honey? 😂 Ro: Funeral march for his ego Ro: If the stars are good to me I'll make 2 weeks of wishes Ro: Should suffice Ali: Brilliant Ali: I'll check our charts Ali: Pull out some eyelashes if necessary Ali: The stars will fall and align for us Ro: I have faith Ro: Have you told the others yet? Ali: I haven't actually, I'll drop it in the group chat later Ali: Seeing Caleb tonight so I'll discuss the finer points with him then Ro: Good idea Ro: Oh yes, I'd forgotten it's your date night! Ali: As long as he hasn't we'll be fine 😋 Ro: Have you done his chart? If not he has perfect eyelashes to steal Ali: Not yet Ali: Been getting quizzed myself by his Ma Ali: Fair 'nuff but no time to sneak in so hey Ms Cavante, where was Caleb born and at what time exactly? #witchgirlproblems Ro: How very unfair Ro: Tonight could be the night Ro: I've already got the cards out here, questioning myself Ro: The spread's favorable for the party to go well for us as performers Ro: [Sends her a picture of the tarot] Ali: Knew we'd ace it but with the fates on our side we CANNOT fail Ali: are you asking about the Drew sitch? Ro: Perhaps Ali: I got you Ali: Keep it between you and the universe 💖 Ro: OH what are we going to wear for our first performance? Ali: THE BEST BIT Ali: We need to plan! Ali: Maybe shop! Ali: I think the party is a masquerade ball (how sweet for a hapless stoner, right?) Ali: We could run with that Ro: Well now I'm enthused Ro: Pencil me into your diary please Ali: Absolutely Ali: I think we could make better masks than we could ever find Ali: or makeup looks Ali: we will workshop this Ro: Agreed, you could create something amazing overnight Ali: We could go out and forage fresh flowers for it Ali: that would look beautiful Ro: Yes! Oh my god, we have to Ali: Perfection Ali: I'll see what the others want too Ali: Maybe we could go a galaxy glitter/paint moment on the guys but I feel like Meena would fosho want in on this floral faerie moment Ro: If you need me to start pressing any of the flowers let me know Ro: I'll make time Ali: You're an 👼 Ali: We can do it over lunch Ali: in between practicing Ali: Such busy 🐝s Ro: I don't mind I like to stay busy Ro: Do you think Drew will come to the party? Ali: Same tbh Ali: I bet he will Ali: And not to show off his musical prowess, bless him Ro: Do we need a name to perform under if we don't just want to be called 'Ali's band' by the host? Ali: Fantastic point, I don't want to be THAT lead singer Ali: So much to think on, oosh! We'll have to put the feelers out in the group chat Ali: should be something we all vibe Ro: I bet the boys will have some interesting ideas Ro: You should speak to Tommy as well, he's learn so much stage stuff at school Ro: If we're going to do this might as well make it look professional I think Ali: Agreed Ali: As long as he doesn't want to choreograph a whole girl group dance routine for us Ro: Imagine! Ro: I'd have to hide behind the piano Ali: Shy yet sultry keyboard girl prerogative Ali: I'll crowd surf my way outta there Ro: How long of a set are we going to play? Ro: There's so many potential covers not to mention the originals you and Caleb both have written Ali: Oh man Ali: we could do 20 like an opener but we are the main act, as it were, but its not that hardcore Ali: I think we could put together a 60 Ro: I hope we can all agree between us Ali: we will Ali: oh, could you cover for me with Ma tonight? Ali: she's not my bestie rn Ro: Of course Ro: I have a rare night free of any babysitting duties so it'll be simple Ali: Good, you deserve a break from the little demons Ali: I hope a book and a bubble bath are on the cards after you calm down the dragon Ro: They are indeed Ro: Perhaps I can suggest the same for her Ali: Perhaps I'm just giving myself away as twisted but that is a hilarious mental image Ali: Her grumpy face peeking out of a bubble beard Ro: Ali don't that's going to stay with me when I do get in the tub Ro: Oh no Ali: 🙊🙈 Ali: I can only apologize Ro: Cleansing that from my thoughts immediately Ro: Are you coming home at all or just straight out to see Caleb? Ali: If I do, catch me creeping up the stairs Ali: She's not been this pissy since Lachlan Ali: She's so SURE Caleb is like that and its just Ali: hilarious Ali: imagine Ro: Once she gets to know him better she'll change her mind Ro: She has to Ali: She SHOULD but will she? Ali: Stubborn old goat 😂 Ali: He's not going anywhere any time soon so if she wants to pine for Marlene that's on her but Ali: 🤷 Ro: I'll start counting cars to wish on just for her (and you), hold my breath, dig out my baby teeth, everything Ro: She just doesn't want to be a grandmother yet is all, it's no slight on Caleb personally I don't believe Ali: My vagina my choice, Mama Ali: Bless her Ali: It'd be fine if she threw out the same level of concern at...oh, idk Ali: Bea and Fraze Ali: 🙄 Ro: If she could secure us all same sex relationships she would, undoubtedly Ro: Likewise, if there was any feasible way to show Bea concern that she'd allow it'd be done Ali: When your kids don't have the good grace to be gay #gutted Ali: Yeah Ali: I need lessons on how to be a bad bitch, clearly Ro: Please don't take any lessons from Bea Ali: Its okay, I don't think she'd be willing to teach me Ro: Very true Ali: Best kept secrets and all that Ro: Speaking of, I've just received a text and must go Ali: Say no more Ali: run baby run 💚 Ro: Have fun tonight Ro: Bluebeard and I will try not to miss you too much Ali: Aww, I'll be home for snuggles lads Ali: wouldn't wanna get pregnant Ali: Laterz Ro: See you soon xx