#i forgot how much i hate math with a burning passion until now when i’m doing my maths finals

[nad-zeta]

Match up (´∩｡• ᵕ •｡∩`) ♡

hey!! matchup for ikesen pls? (i hope this ain’t too long hsjdjd)

i’m a straight intj-t female. i’m a lawful neutral, slytherin, & scorpio, and i have a younger twin sis. i’m 5'5 ish (still growing!). my black medium-length straight-ish hair is usually in a ponytail & i have dark brown eyes.

i’m vvv secretive, smart, competitive, ambitious, deep, open-minded, passionate, dark, insecure, observant, resourceful, and mature. i’m generally a shy/quiet person (esp. at first, n w/ boys since i’m in an all girls school), but i’m really talkative when it comes to topics i love, and when i’m already comfortable. sometimes i get too arrogant/confident. i’m quite distant and i easily get jealous, annoyed, lazy, n bored. i’m also a fast learner, hopeless romantic, daydreamer, thrill-seeker, & pessimist/realist! i help others a lot, but i find accepting help hard.

i love receiving praise, attention, & affection, along with cleaning and organizing (but i’m quite messy myself). i love a bunch of stuff, esp. gaming! i also love reading/writing, astronomy, history, war (i love the thrill of it!), weapons (esp. snipers, swords, n bows!), mythology, nature, learning new things, & testing myself. i want others to always tell me the, brutal truth even if it hurts (i don’t see the point in sugar-coating n lying to make others feel better), but i’m really good at lying.

i have a great memory, but i’m quite forgetful. i also really like messing w/ others and i have a rbf. some are intimidated by me, it’s funny. i’m vv good w/ technology too, and i’m GREAT in school. esp. math, science, history, english, and french (foreign language!). i love the language latin a lot (and other aesthetic stuff sm!), along with mystery and the like. (but not horror. i’m kind of a coward, but i like the feeling of being scared? idk?)

i coop up my emotions a lot, along with otherthinking. i also hate a lot of stuff, such as being weak in front of others (crying), others being better, and blind faith. i usually love being alone but at times it gets too lonely. it takes a while for me to open up, i rarely trust others. i don’t really take good care of myself, and i try to block out my emotions, so i tend to be apathetic at times. i swear a lot and i’m loyal. it seems like idc, but i care a lot a lot. it’s vvv embarrasing crying in front of others—i hate it. i tend to carry all the weight. i usually give and take care of others more than the opposite. i think to myself a lot. i’m have a lot of contradictions, n i’m complex tbh.

i tend to get carried away, so pls tell me if it’s too long! take your time, no rush, take care of yourself! stay safe, n tysm in advance ♡

Hi hi Love! Thank you so much for the request hehe i hope i didn't make ya wait too long!🌻 Lol this was not too long at all, the more details the better!❤😊 And can i just say u sound like a super cool person🌻🔥 I hope you are keeping safe and well! And i hope ya enjoy!❤❤😊 @x-jodi-x

So I match you with…………. Nobunaga

The first time Nobunaga sees you, he is hella intrigued like, not only did a smol creature like you manage to save him from a burning building but you were also now even too shy to look him in the eyes. You were like a crazy walking contradiction, bold in the one moment, yet meek and reserved in the next. He brought you back with him to the castle and named you as, the princess of the Oda forces. It took you less than a day to get bored with your title as princess and opt to help the maids out with cleaning and organizing the castle. 

By the end of the week, all the castle staff were super impressed by you, not only did you introduce them to new easier ways to get the job done, but you also managed to sort out and organize the dreaded archives. 

Nobunaga had been watching you and he was most amused by you, you had this ability to intimidate all those around you, yet you were always there to lend a helping hand. You had even managed confused the castle mother, your work for the castle had always been so diligent and precise, yet when he walked into your room to bring you a letter, it was like walking into a hurricane. He never thought someone with such efficient cleaning and organizing skills could live in what could only be described as a clutter box.

Nobunaga had taken a BIG interest in you and had summoned you to his room to pull his classic, warm my bed pick up line, except what he didn’t expect was that you would truth bomb his ass. He was sister shook, he had never met such a blunt, brutally honest woman in his life, not only that but every second word coming from those beautiful lips were, swear words. You low key lost your patience with him and for a second you forgot your shyness at the door, as you were now in gamer rage mode. Cue Nobu smirking, he had truly stumbled onto the most amusing fireball. 

The two of you spent the rest of that night just sipping on some tea and chatting. Nobunaga’s interest was definitely peaked as, in your rejection of his offer to warm his bed, you had told him off in at least 3 different languages. As future conqueror of Japan he had also picked up a few languages in his travels and via the foreigners who would visit his ports. So, he definitely surprised you when he started speaking Latin to you. You couldn't help but be impressed, this also low key helped you open up a little more to him, as the two of you seemed to have found common ground. Nobunaga couldn't help but smile a small smile at how talkative you had become, especially when the two of you started talking about topics that interested you. Not only that but when he had pulled out the game of Go for the two of you to play, you definitely gave this boy a run for his money.

The next morning Nobunaga had announced that you were to accompany him to the next war. You had no time to even get a word in, as before you knew it you were on the back of his horse on your way to the battlefield. Nobunaga smirked as he imagined you covering in fear, in the corner of the camp, so imagine this boy’s surprise when you walked around camp with the most carefree smile on your face. Just before he could question it, the enemy forces managed to break through the ranks and was now riding straight into the camp. 

You acted on instinct, you loved weapons, so you were well versed in the art of using various weapons. From the corner of your eye, you could see an enemy archer aiming to strike Nobunaga down. Without a second thought, you had grabbed one of the bows laying by your feet and took aim. “Oi Nobu duck!” those were the only words that left your mouth before the arrow you had fired, went slicing through the air to strike down your opponent. Nobu got back up and looked behind him to see that you had skillfully taken down a hidden archer. 

Nobunaga without a second thought, mounted his horse and gave you a hand up and rode out into the front lines with you. The two of you made an unstoppable team slicing through the enemy ranks, and earning the Oda forces a swift victory. 

The ride back to the castle was filled with chats, laughs and light banter between you and the devil king. He found you incredibly interesting, the adrenaline pumping through your veins had cause that arrogant and confident side of you to show. You loved war for the thrill of it, you were a master of many weapons and to top it all off, you spoke to him as your equal. You had shaken this poor man to his core, never in his whole entire life had he met a woman like you. So shy and reserved at first, yet a true fireball laying beneath the surface. Needless to say, this boy was falling and falling hard for you

Often the two of you would spend nights together, deep in conversation about anything and everything or playing a game of GO. Nobunaga loved your open-mindedness and your ability to pick up on concepts quickly. He also low key likes your ability to be an excellent liar, as it made the candy heists together all the more interesting. Especially if the two of you would be caught together, in the middle of the hallways dead at night, pockets full of candy. You always seemed to manage to get the two of you out of the extended scolding and lecture sessions with Mamahide by blatantly lying through your teeth. Although, even-though you were an excellent liar, your lies never did seem to work on Nobu as he could always tell if you were bending the truth slightly. You also appreciated that Nobunaga was just as blunt as you, never sugar coating the truth and always speaking openly and honestly with you.

It is also definitely a favourite past time activity for you and Nobunaga to team up and mess with people. If the two of you aren’t sneaking alcohol into Masamune’s water during banquets or tricking Hideyoshi to reveal all his deepest darkest secrets, the two of you are messing with each other. Both of you stubborn cuties are also very competitive, so you best be sure that the two of you have a running bet, to see who the ultimate prank master is. These pranks range from harmless, for example crude drawings on official reports, to more hardcore, shoes on top of doorways and glue on each other’s chairs. Although all that change one day when the two of you decided to team up and work together as a unit to pull pranks instead of work alone, and that is the day the two of you got together.

Both of you by this point was head over heels for each other, but neither was willing to admit their feelings. That is until one-day Nobunaga took you on a romantic getaway to one of the neighbouring regions. You weren’t too sure exactly where he was taking you, but you loved adventures, so you decided to roll with it. 

The two of you arrived at a hot spring where, to your surprise Nobunaga waited on you hand and foot. After a long relaxing soak in the soothing water, you walked back to your room to find Nobunaga sitting in the centre of the room with a Go board in front of him. “Come fireball this shall be our final game, winner takes all.” 

It was a long and hard game, and you enjoyed every moment of it from the smack talk, to the getting frustrated at unpredictable moves. But in the end, the results were most unexpected. It was a draw, “It seems I have truly met my match with you fireball.” He had intended to win this game and fully conquer your heart, but instead you had just proved to him how equally matched you were for him. Thus strengthening his resolve to confess his feelings and make you the one and only queen of his heart.

Nobunaga couldn’t hold back his feelings for you any longer, the next evening you walked into your room to see it filled with flowers, he had told you how much he loved and adored you, and he asked you if you would be the one and only conquer of his heart. The two of you then met it the most passionate of kisses. The rest of the weekend away, Nobunaga spent pampering you, the one true love of his life.

Nobunaga absolutely adored every part of you. He loved that you were just as jealous as he was, often being twice as clingy and affectionate towards him whenever a visiting princess arrived. He loved your writing and would often rest his head on your lap after a long day and insist you read to him, the newest piece of your writing.

He adored that you kept him on his toes with all your various interests, and he loved how you just knew a bit of everything. 

He would especially enjoy holding you in his arms at night as the two of you share a drink out on the balcony. He loved to listen all your stories about mythology, as he affectionately stroked your back.

This softy boi knows that, you tend to bottle up your emotions and that you hate crying in front of others, so whenever you are feeling down or faced with problems, he is by your side in an instant. Clearing his schedule and handing off all his duties to Hideyoshi, so he can envelop you in his love, and shower you with endless amounts of affection and attention. He would patiently hold you in his arms, as he coaxes you by rubbing small soothing circles on your back, to tell him all that burdens you. He would do absolutely anything to make you smile and melt away all your insecurities. He would always be there, to wipe away every one of your tears, while whispering in your ears just how much he adores you. 

He knows that you are entirely selfless and tend to neglect yourself, so you best be sure he is going to be by your side and give you all the help and support, whether you asked for it or not. If you forget to eat, he will bring you every meal, and make time to eat with you, just to make sure you are getting enough nutrients. If you are working too hard and not getting enough sleep, he will pull you into his arms and let you rest your head on his chest, while he gently stokes your hair, to coax you to sleep. 

Nobunaga absolutely loves to sneak a few passionate kisses with you in the hallway on his way to his next meeting, just as a way to remind you, just how much he loves and adores you. He is also forever giving you words of affirmation for everything you do. 

The two of you can often be found snuggled up together on the balcony of your shared room just exchanging sweet kisses and words of love

Other potential matches…………… Kenshin   

I hope you enjoyed this dear, it definitely turned out a lot longer than expected whooops! 🙈🙈❤😊

#matchups #ikesen matchup #match ups #oda nobunaga #ikesen nobunaga #nobunaga oda #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #nobunaga matchup #submission

[the-star-named-dowoon]

Black Dove

Three years ago,your cousin left and your best friend/first love started treating you like dirt under his feet. Ever since you never wanted to open up to people. Now that your cousin is back and you’ve grown, tension stirs up between him and your old best friend. Soon you find out something about the two of them that you wish you didn’t and find yourself tangled in a war.

Pairings- Vampire Scoups x Reader and vampire cousin Jeonghan ( Hip Hop unit and vocal Unit and more to come)

Genre- Angst, Horror,Romance, Action and Vampire Au

Words-10,000 +

Warnings- Cussing, Assault, Bullying, And a mean Scoups

Chapter 1

MasterList      Requests

————————————————————————

They say a black dove can sometimes mean war. 

Others say it means your love awaits.

But it’s also known to be a symbol of death.

But can it be all those at once?

Fate is cruel.

——-

Thousands of footsteps sounded in the halls as people hurry to their lockers. Shoulders bump from one to another due to the lack of space. Chatters of hundreds of conversations, a different conversation heard every step you take. The school halls were littered with various event flyers and announcements. Teachers rushing down the long halls as well, just trying to make it home from this place. 

I don’t blame them.

I dodge and swivel my way through hordes of zombie like people. Their minds almost burnt out from the long tiring day. I try to go as fast as I can,Clutching my backpack straps and taking long fast strides. With Headphones in my ears,I try to keep to myself. I try to make My face lack any emotion because when you lack emotion, people are less likely to talk to you. Good life hack.

People say I look angry in the halls. Intimidating even, but lord knows that I’m just in my own world and trying to push out reality. I just tend to Block people out. Going through,Just wanting to get the hell out of this place as fast as I can...and hopefully go home without anything happening.

Hopefully.

Making it to my locker I quickly spin the code. Throwing all my heavy books from previous classes into the locker. Immediately a half full bag of chips falls from my locker and onto the floor. Not thinking much of it, I just swipe it to the side with my foot. Seeing that the hall was empty because all the students fled not wanting to be here any longer than they have to. Making the once crowded hall turn into a ghost town. A few kids here and there are left but it was mostly empty.

“Hey __ you gonna pick that up?”  my heart nearly stops as I almost jump out of my skin. The sudden surprise causes me to drop my books right into my feet. My face contorts in pain and drop to the floor to clutch my aching feet. “Oh my gosh are you ok?” A feminine voice asks. Relief rushes through my body as I look up to see a familiar face. 

“What did I say about sneaking up on me like that, Aki?” I say while she sticks her hand out to me. Though it was hard for her to bend because of the cello that was on her back. I took her hand and Picked up my fallen books and proceed to throw them into my locker..

“I’m sorry but I just wanted to reach you before you book it like you usually do.” She pushes up her glasses that lay lazily on her nose. “Plus you forgot this.” She explains as she takes the plain black case that was leaning against the lockers. Pushing it into my arms.

“Can’t have you forget your violin, especially since we have a concert so soon.” I smile at her kindness.  It’s a good breath of fresh air after dealing with other students in this hell hole. 

Aki and I have been good friends since she moved here last year. She was a good fit to the stereotypical band kid. She wasn’t without one of her instruments on her body, whether it be her giant cello, small flute, or her French horn. She was very passionate about band and that’s how we ended up meeting. 

Since she was new to the school, she didn’t know anyone. And I tended to stay alone. For reasons I don’t really know, I just didn’t have the confidence nor effort to make friends at the time. Until she walked into the orchestra room on the first day of the new school year. Of course seeing me alone meant I was an easy target and she proceeded to talk my ear off that whole period. 

I didn’t really know what to do in that situation. For most of my school life for the last two years before I met her. I didn’t have anyone. So she really did seem like a ray of sunshine through my dark clouds. She wanted to be my friend.

And that’s what she did. She became my best friend.Her bright personality seemed to fit with my somewhat guarded personality. We seemed to match each other well. Like an orchestra we played well together.

And even got bullied together. 

As we stood in the hall talking about our day. A click of someone’s tongue catches our attention.“Pfft band nerds.” A couple of football players walked past and mocked. “Not even the cute kind either.” The both of them snickered and walked down the rest of the hall. 

As I rolled up my sleeves to give them a piece of my mind, Aki stops me and holds me back. “It’s not worth it.” She persuades and tries to sooth me by petting the top of my head. I move her hands off my head and glare at the boys.

“I could take them.” I huff and close my locker.

“Sure you can.” She laughs. I just glare more at the jerks direction and raise my hand, proudly raising my middle finger. Flailing my hand in all different directions while I make kicking motions at them. But as soon as they turn to go to the next hallway, my body stills as if nothing happened. Aki trying to hold her giggles back at my antics.

“Fucking dick heads. How dare they say you’re ugly?” I hiss, Defending her. Which she appreciates and wraps her arms around my shoulder and pushes us to  walk down the hall.

Bullies. 

They always seemed to come for me. But did I care?

No, not really?

The constant name calling and throwing of things at me didn’t bother me. Why care about them when I’ll just leave this torture chamber and never see them again? They can bully me all they want but it won’t get to me like they think.

But when they got at other people, that’s when I got mad. As much as I don’t care about my well being, I can’t let other people get bullied. 

Like that one time when I broke a soccer players fingers just because he was pushing around a tuba player. I saw him push the poor kid against the locker next to mine as I was putting away my books. The soccer player had his hand above the kids head keeping him in place. Being sick of the sight, I decided I was done and kicked my locker shut as hard as I could. 

Luckily the guys fingers were there. 

Long story short. The whole soccer team hates me now, since I broke their star goalies precious fingers. But boo hoo, I don’t care.

Soon rumors spread about me and things went downhill from there. And now a lot of people hate me. I just ignore them and proceeded to live my life. Because soon they will be nothing but people who peaked in school. 

But.

Some people seem to have an effect. When I mean some, I actually mean one.

Walking outside of school we see that it had been raining. Leaving the fresh rain smell and puddles scattered about. The harsh rain seemed to become a little sprinkle. It’s always raining in our town. Never any sunshine. Which made the whole place even gloomier than it already is. Like, it would be the perfect place for a horror movie.

“Did you want to come over today? I got a new piece I’ve been wanting to try out and I think it would sound really nice with a violin added to the mix.” She tempts, and starts to sway a bit as she walks. As much as I would love to, I have stuff to do today.

“Sorry my cousin is flying in today. He’s finally moving back home after three years.But I will have to call you later and see how that piece is coming along.” She pouts playfully but understands. Tightening the straps of her cello on her back and reaches into her pocket, taking out her car keys. 

“Well, I’ll give you a ride anyway, seeing that it’s wet and cold out today. And we don’t want to risk  your instrument getting wet.” She smiles and takes my hand, dragging me to the student parking. 

  Making it to the now almost empty parking, my heart suddenly becomes heavy. In the path is exactly who I didn’t want to see. The most known boys in the school to be exact. 

But also the most hurtful. Especially the ring leader.

Seungcheol was someone I was familiar with. Along with his friends, they have made my life at school a living hell for the past three years. As much as I would love not to be bothered by them, I couldn’t. 

But Seungcheol had the burning sword. 

His terror was the one that sent chills down my body. These days when he looks at me, it’s either one face or another. The look of pure uninterest or the look of disgust. But the thing I fear the most, hatred.

the worst part is the fact that he’s my neighbor. And the first friend I ever had...correction, he was my first best friend. The first person other than my cousin that I really trusted. But now...

Aki seemed to notice my stiffness and just grabbed my hand dragging me quickly. “Just don’t look at them.” She whispers and held my hand tightly. I just nod and look down, holding my violin tightly in the other hand. But unfortunately one of the boys spotted us.

“Aye isn’t that ___?” One of the boys calls out to the others, peeking their interest. Their heads turn to our direction. 

“Look Cheol it’s your neighbor.” The youngest of the groups points. Laughing slightly at the both of us. 

“So?” Seungcheol shrugs. 

The tallest one walks towards us, holding a smirk on his face. I let out a breath not really wanting to deal with this right now. I set my violin on the sidewalk as he stalks over to us.

“Can we help you mingyu?” I ask in the least polite way possible, hoping he would get the message. But he walks until he’s right in front of us, towering over the both of us. 

“You have the study guide to the math test we have on Monday. And I don’t have it done.” He says looking down at me. 

“Boo hoo you want me to play you sad song?” I ask. This didn’t seem to sit well with him as a look of confusion then irritation makes its way on his face.

“No I want yours. I don’t really feel like doing shit.” He commands. But to that I just tighten the straps to my backpack. 

“Fuck no string bean.” I hiss and pick up my violin to get the heck out of there. But instead I was yanked by my backpack. Being lifted off the ground by the giant. I slip out of my backpack and land on the ground. 

“Give it back mingyu.” I command but instead he opens my backpack throwing things out that didn’t involve the math study guide. All the papers falling into surrounding puddles. 

Both Aki and I step forward to do something but Ali was held back my the youngest of the group, Vernon. I got the short end of the stick and I’m pushed harshly into a puddle. Wonwoo laughing Maniacally. 

As I was sitting in the puddle a pile of papers land in front of me. 

My sheet music. The ones I’ve been composing for lord knows how long. The only reason I had it in my backpack was to ask my orchestra teacher about the tempo. Now I know that it was a mistake brining it. Over a years worth of work, soaking in a dirty puddle.

I rise on my feet slowly. My mind goes blank as my emotions fight against each other. Telling me I should act while the other side of my brain says stand down. Without thinking I bend down, Picking up a rock from the ground. Aki seemed to notice me and gave me a look of fear. 

As wonwoo and mingyu look in my backpack, I began to raise my arm. But just as I was about to throw it a hand stops me. Seungcheol, as he stands behind me, he grabs the rock from my hand and throws it behind him. Looking at the mess his friends caused he just chooses to ignore it. Like he always did. He would just look as his friends tortured and teased me. Though he never pushed me around physically, it was emotion that he went for. And man did it hurt more.

He lets go of me and walks towards his friends, stepping on my sheet music on the way. The squishing sound of soggy paper echoes in my brain. 

And that’s when I snap.

I kick the muddy water towards his direction. The nasty water makes it a lot farther than I thought it would and splashes his whole backside. Leaving the white shirt he’s wearing stained with a sickly brown. The others look at me with wide eyes. As if I just asked for a death wish… which I might have.

His head turns towards me. The anger in his eyes say too much. But instead of lashing out he gives me the same look of disgust.

“You’re pathetic.” He says. “Why don’t you do us a favor and just get out of here. Nobody needs you around anyway.”

It hurt. 

My stance falters a bit but It doesn’t go unnoticed by him. 

He wanted nothing to do with me. Not anymore.

 Aki managed to make it out of Vernon’s arms and runs towards me. Picking up my sheet music and violin and pushes me towards her car. Leaving my stuff with the guys. I take my violin from her grasp and we start running. My shoes squeaking with every step due to the water. 

We make it to her parking space in record timing. She takes a look at my appearance and nothing but concern is on her face.  She looks at what lies in her hands. A pile of wet muddy papers. 

“I’m so sorry…” she hands me my sheet music carefully but knowing full well that it was at its end. “I know how long you’ve been working on these-“

“It’s fine.” I reassure. Still she sends a slight frown. Trying to set a hand on my shoulder but I gently shrug it off and lay my head against the car window.

“Come on, let's turn on the heater. You must be freezing.” She unlocks her car and puts both mine and her instruments in her trunk. I was reluctant to sit on her seats with wet clothes but she reassured me that it was fine. 

Starting the car we pull from the parking space. As we drove out we saw the guys walking away from the scene. I spotted my backpack on the floor, completely robbed of its contents, just sitting there in the puddle. 

“Stop the car.” Which she does. Stepping out of the vehicle, I rush over to my backpack, grabbing the soaking wet object and throwing it over my shoulders. Picking up the papers that weren’t completely ruined and I look up over to the group of boys. As they chucked and high fives each other. 

Of course they are laughing. Mingyu flaunting the math papers around like some Trophe. To my surprise Seungcheol turns around to stare at me, but only to just turn back around and keep walking.

I just sigh and hop back into the car and shove all my things into my backpack. 

“__…”

“Can we just drive?” I cut her off, not really wanting to talk about it. With what little dignity I have I just wanted to go home. 

“Ok.”

The car ride seemed like a million years. And it seemed like we caught every single red light. The drive was terrible, but we did make it to my house. Pulling into my driveway, Aki turns her car off and turns her body to look at me completely. 

“So? Are we actually not going to talk about it?” I just rest my head against the window in response. Silence just goes by. 

“Why...what did I do?” I force out but it came out like a whimper. “Why does he hate me so much?” My voice almost cracks. The tears I’ve been trying to hold in are threatening to fall. 

“You didn’t do anything and you know it. You were nothing but good friend-“

“Thank you for the ride.” I say opening the door before she could pity me any more. She doesn’t say anything but lets me go, wanting me to blow off steam alone.  Taking my violin and backpack I walk up to my doorstep.After opening my front door,I walk in slowly trying not to make myself present.

My sheet music and violin with me still. 

“Hey kiddo!” A voice calls from the kitchen. My aunt who was cooking the welcome home dinner for my cousins returns. 

“Hey auntie.” I give a slight greeting. 

“How was school?” She asks. 

“Alright.” 

“Just alright? Are you sure-“

“Auntie please. I’m kinda tired… Im just gonna go to my room and lay down.” I cut her off short form her carrying on the conversation. She was somewhat taken aback by my response. “I’m sorry auntie I’m just feeling under the weather. But I promise you I’m ok.” Though she was still skeptical she just nods and goes back to cooking.

I drag myself up stairs. Opening the door of my room, I set my violin and backpack next to my door. Kicking off my shoes and throw myself on the bed. My wet clothes causing water to seep into my clean sheets. My face sank into my pillow as hot tears started forming. It wasn’t anything new, everytime it happens, everytime he speaks.

He hurts me . 

The fact that someone who I care about would stand and let me get bullied is very disheartening. My heart feels like a nail is getting hammered into it further and further after every interaction. I can’t understand, I don’t think I could. 

Everytime I cry at night. Everytime he treats me like I’m nothing but dirt under his feet. I couldn’t help but not get angry at him. As toxic as it sounds in my head. Me being naive and weak, I forgive him every time.  Wishing he would come around just once. 

And protect me… like he said he always would.

I wish he would come back. Back when he would stay on the phone with me every night after my parents died. When he would listen to me play for hours because he said he loved it so much. When he would hug me so tight the air would almost leave my lungs. 

Back when I fell in love with him. 

At this point, I’m crying like a baby. The tears wetting my pillow as my breathing gets uneven. 

“What did I ever do?” I whisper to myself. The same phrase leaving my lips like every other time I think about him.

Picking my head up and wiping the tears and snot from my face, I turn towards my soaking backpack. It’s floppy and soaked appearance bring back heat into my veins, just thinking about mingyu. 

Walking over to it, I take out the sheet music that was ruined. The title was the only thing still visible. The rest of the ink was smudged or not existent. 

 ‘The black dove’ written in black ink. It’s a piece I’ve been working on for over a year. Now destroyed and left looking pathetic. Just like…

“You’re pathetic.” His voice ringing in my head again. Slapping my cheeks slightly to try and get his words out of my brain. Not even wanting to look at it anymore, I slap the wet paper onto my desk. 

A knock on my door has my head snapping up.

“Hey hun, you think you could go pick up your cousin and his friends from the airport? I’m kinda busy with dinner.” She opens my door peeking her head through. Her face covered in all sorts of ingredients. 

“Um sure. But friends? I didn’t know he was bringing back people.”

“Yes, he’s bringing four!” My eyes widen. Four?! Four other boys in this house? Boys I don’t even know. She notices my surprise and tries to explain. “I know it’s been only the two of us since your parents died and jeonghan left for school abroad. But rents getting a little too high for me just to be working and letting you focus on school. So I think this a good solution.” She tries to explain as she sits down on my bed. 

“They’ll be staying In the other rooms. And attend your school. And I just thought since you don’t have a lot of friends…-“

“You can stop right there. I get it.” My eyes look out the window, it’s raining again. “ you don’t need to explain yourself auntie, I understand. I’ll be ok with anything if it helps you. Even if it involves me getting a job” She smiles at me before standing up and tossing me the keys. 

“I'm glad to hear that. Plus, it’s gonna be nice having others besides us in this house. I miss it being loud.” Thinking back to fond memories of your parents and you and your cousin running around. There was never a dull moment. 

“Me too auntie.” 

——

Pulling up to the terminal after what seemed like an hour long drive, I see the bright sign saying ‘arrivals’. As I wait patiently for any sign of my cousin. 

I haven’t seen him in years. Not even on holiday due to him not getting flights because of the lack of available ones. Back before my aunt sent him away to go to school abroad, him and I were very close. We spent a lot of time together as kids, me, him and… seungcheol. Like three peas in a pod, until they’ve gone and went their separate ways. What will he think when he finds out im not friends with seungcheol anymore?

Who knows? It’s been such a long time, years have passed. Are any of us really still the same?

I look around still but I still see no sign of my cousin. Though a crowd people soon exit out of the terminal, the flight must have arrived a while ago. After the people clear out, there stand five boys waiting. 

They seem to notice me because they start to walk towards the car. As they get closer I finally make out a face. His white; somewhat long hair was held back by an elastic headband. A black mask covers the lower part of his chin . He looks different but it’s jeonghan alright. 

Waving at me he makes it to the car, with the group of boys following after. I exit out of the car to help with bags but not before he could pull me into a giant hug. 

“___! I missed you!” Holding me tighter he swirls me around. Blushing, I try to push away but I can’t. He’s definitely a lot stronger and taller since the last time a saw him. 

“I missed you too.” He finally let’s go before turning to the others. 

“These are my friends, brothers I should say at this point. Well now roommates as well.” The four others wave shyly. 

One of them steps forward, offering his hand. With a smile that could melt the polar ice caps. “ I’m Lee seokmin! It’s nice to meet you roomie!” He shakes my hand. He is very inviting, I can tell he’s a happy go lucky guy already. 

Next a much more reserved one comes up. “I’m Hong Jisoo but you can just call me Joshua.” He says with a wink. But before I can shake his hand he was pushed away by another. 

“Ya ya ya, let the real star come through.” A younger one by the looks of it passes through. His hair is messy, probably due to sleeping on the plane, but he didn’t seem to notice. “I’m Boo Seungkwan but you can call me Your Boo.” He flirts. I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks already, not really expecting that to be the first thing he says to me. 

“Can you ever not act like a five year old?” A loud slap to Seungkwan’s head grabs my attention. A much shorter male comes into the picture. He seems a lot more agitated at the moment. “Sorry about him, I’m Lee Jihoon. The only one who knows how to act out of all of us.” He grunts. I just laugh.

“Well it’s nice to meet you all. Especially since we’ll be living together.” I smile but a gasp comes from Seungkwan.

“You’re gonna be living with us?! A girl?” Jihoon just raises a brow before raising his hand up, threatening to slap him again. 

“You idiot, jeonghan already told us about his cousin also living with us. If you ever listen..” he grumbles. 

“Ya but I didn’t know they were a girl! A younger one at that!” He blasts but the rest of the boys decided to ignore him and put the luggage in the back. I go around the car to hop in the driver's seat but the keys are snatched from my hand. Jeonghan jumps in and starts the car. 

“Do you even know how to drive?” I ask, he just laughs and buckled up. 

“It’s really been that long, huh? Yes, I know how to drive. You drove all the way over here to pick us up. So I’ll be driving us back, so sit back and relax. Get to know them.” I look back to the back where three of them sat. Jihoon took it upon himself to sit in the passenger because he didn’t think he could go through another trip without strangling them. 

I’m fine with it of course. Since it’s a tight squeeze, seokmin sits on Joshua’s lap, luckily Joshua didn’t complain. I sit next to Seungkwan, it’s a snug fit but it’s not too bad.

Through the trip from the airport, since it’s a ways away from home we took the time to get to know Each other and for me to catch up with my cousin. They are all so different, even jeonghan. Their personalities and attitudes all stuck out, but it made the trip enjoyable.

I found out all of them can sing just like jeonghan. Also I was blown away when they decided to sing one of their favorite songs. I would say it was like being blessed by angels. But they also grew excited when they found out I played the violin when jeonghan brought it up. Each one of them begging to have me play when we got home. 

We arrive home. Pulling the car into the empty  driveway, we pour out like clowns out of a clown car. Stretching their limbs then grabbing their bags, they breath the Fresh air.

“Wow this feels a whole lot nicer than the city. I can actually smell something other than smog.” Joshua brings up. Taking pictures of the countless amount of trees around our house. “Hard to believe you were born and raised here jeonghan. You seem like a city boy at heart.” 

Jeonghan locks the car after getting the rest of the bags out. “Yes, I might seem like it. But this really brings me back.” Looking fondly around I see his eyes stop at the certain house I didn’t want him to remember. 

Seungcheol’s house. 

My heart stops for a bit. He doesn’t  say anything, he just stares. But when his eyes look towards me again I just look away. Really not wanting him to talk about it. 

Luckily he doesn’t say anything but tosses me the keys. I take that as a sign and run to the front door to unlock it. Opening the door, I’m blown away at the smell of food. The amazing aroma filling my nostrils as it guides me into the kitchen. My auntie, who starts walking over to greet her son.

“My baby! He’s finally arrived!” She pulls him in just to kiss his face over and over. He tries to calm her down as his friends start laughing but it just eggs her on even more. It’s been so long since he’s come home, so I imagine years worth of kisses have piled up. 

“Mom, I love you too.” He just laughs, he’s always been affectionate as well. His warm hearted attitude matched his mothers. “ but luckily since I’m back home for good and I’ll have years worth of kisses to come.” He brings his mother in for a hug. He’s taller than her now, no longer the little boy that left so long ago. It’s kinda like seeing a stranger now. He’s the same but why do I feel like so different at the same time?

Dinner was super nice. Catching up with jeonghan and getting to know the boys was a treat. They all seemed very laid back. Saying that they all met because of the schools choir class and have been best friends ever since. But someone who really caught my attention was Joshua. 

He seems the sweetest out of the rest. He seems to be a very good listener, considering that everytime I talked, his full attention was on me. Though it almost made me blush  at the time, I found it very admirable. 

After dinner, I pick up all the plates and silverware. Not wanting my aunt to clean up because she made the food. The boys also just got back from a long flight so they are probably tired. So I alone take it upon myself to clean up, but a figure next to me takes half of the plates from me. Joshua, carrying the plates to the sink; starts washing. 

“You don’t have to do that. I got it, you can go rest up.” He looks at me with a smile but still continues to wash.

“I didn’t want you doing it alone. Plus, I’m usually the one to clean up after the rest of them anyway.” I don’t say anything to that. But a smile makes it up to my face at the sweet act. 

Maybe this won’t be so bad.

The rest of the night I find myself doing homework. Jeonghan and the others are getting settled in their new rooms just down the hall from mine. I can hear hoots and hollers already, especially seokmin. I’m not bothered by it in the slightest. It was always too quiet in the house, it’s nice to have a change. 

 A soft knock takes my attention away from my homework. Jeonghan standing in the doorframe knocks gently. “Cool if I come in?” He asks. 

“Of course.” I say from my desk. He walks in settling down on my bed. Looking around my room he notices how different it is. I’m no longer his little cousin like I was when he left a few years ago. 

“A lot can change In three years, huh?” He lays down on my bed. Looking up at the ceiling. “Funny how a few years can feel like a century. Especially when you’re far away from home.” True, although he was gone for what could be called a short time, a lot can happen in three years. And I would know.

“Ya, even when you are home. It seems so long.” I put down my pencil and rest it on my paperwork. Looking out the window to see that same house just across the way. 

Jeonghan seemed to have noticed my gazing before clearing his throat. “As much as I missed you and would love to talk more. I need some sleep before I start school tomorrow.” He states standing up from my bed. He was starting school at a private school not too far from mine. Not that he didn’t like normal public school he said he felt like the private school system  fitted him more. 

Although the rest of his friends will be attending school with me, since they didn’t get accepted into the private. I don’t see a problem with it anyway, more walking buddies. 

“Well good night. I’ll be sure to see you off to school tomorrow. Love you.” He says on the way out the door. I say I love him too and decide to get ready for bed as well. Putting on my pajamas and brushing my teeth I come back into my room. Noticing I left the window open, I go to close it.

Seeing that house one more time before closing the curtain and shutting off my lamp. 

——-

It isn’t my alarm that wakes me up in the morning, but Seungkwan’s scream. I burst up from my bed, almost falling off. The yelling continues as I throw off my covers and run to the door. Swinging my door open I see Seungkwan running towards me. His hair is full of suds and he’s in nothing but a bathrobe.

“__!” He wails and hides behind me. Pushing me towards the bathroom. At this point I can hardly keep my eyes open. Once we get into the bathroom I squint my eyes at the bright light. 

“What?” His heavy breathing echoed off the bathroom walls. Steam surrounded us, making me feel wide awake.

“Th-there! On the shower wall!” I pull away the curtain to find the thing he’s screaming about. I let out a sigh and shut off the running water. 

“Hey girl.” I say. A spider, not a small one either but these big ones are pretty common around here. Enough to know what kind of spider it is. Although they’re big and scary, these ones keep out all the other nasty bugs, so me and my aunt decide to keep them around. 

“Fucking kill it! I tried to kill me!” He says looking over my shoulder. I just roll my eyes and reach over to have it crawl on my hand. To say it’s big is an understatement. 

“I’m not gonna kill her. But I’ll let her outside if it makes you feel any better.” I say as I  lazily make my way out of the bathroom. He gives me a quick thank you and proceeds with his shower. Opening my front door I see the sun is still barely rising, why the fuck is he showering so early? 

I rest my hand on the ground letting the spider crawl off on her pace. Seeing that’s she’s safely on the ground I head back in. I make it back into my room to jump back in bed since it’s still early. My eyelids feel heavy again and I close my eyes, ready for sleep to take over again.

Then there’s a knock on my door. 

My eyes snap open and look over, not even moving my head. There was seokmin standing shyly in my door frame.

“I may or may not have left my window open and let a giant crow in…” he says keeping his eyes away from mine. I just groan and bury my face Into my pillow.

I didn’t sleep anymore that morning. I spent the whole time trying to get an angry crow out of seokmin and jihoons room. Jihoon wasn’t very happy about that and decided to kick seokmin out of their room for the rest of the morning. 

I got ready for school and made my way down stairs, expecting my aunt to be cooking. To my surprise I saw Joshua in the frilly pink apron my aunt wears. I try not to giggle as I take a seat at the table. He notices my presence and smiles. 

“Good morning. By the ruckus this morning I can tell you need a boost.” He says as he walks over with a cup of coffee in hand, placing it in front of me. “Sugar? Cream?” He asks. 

“Joshua you didn’t have to. And it’s ok I’ll prepare it myself. It looks like you’re doing enough this morning.” He doesn’t argue and goes back to cooking. I after I prepare my coffee I peek over to see what he was cooking. It looked like the standard breakfast but the amount was so small. Like it was made to only feed a person or two.

He seemed to have finished because he’s already making a plate. I watch in awe as he places the plate in front of me. 

“There you go. Eat up, you got a long day ahead.” He starts to untie his apron and folds it nicely.

“Are you not eating?” I ask, hesitant to eat when he’s not. 

“Oh no, me and the boys aren’t really breakfast people. But I wanted to make breakfast for you since you welcomed us so well. Just take it as a thank you.” After serving me he goes to start cleaning up. The other boys decide to join us both seconds later. Jeonghan, dressed well In his ironed uniform while the three others are dressed casual. 

“Well good morning,___” my cousin greets while ruffling my still slightly messy bed hair. He already has his backpack on and grabs his shoes from the closet. “As much as I would love to send you off to school, I found out my class starts earlier. But I will be off in time to walk you home.” Lacing up His polished shoes he makes a bee line to the door. “As for the rest of you guys, I’m expecting you to behave.” He points at his friends but mostly focusing on Seungkwan. Seungkwan just huffs and waves jeonghan away with a shooing motion.

We all say goodbye and he leaves for class. I finish my breakfast and Joshua takes my plate while Jihoon and Seungkwan sit at the table on their phones. Seokmin on the other hand is writing in an old tattered up notebook. Not really wanting to ask what he was doing; I look us at the clock and see that it should be time for us to get going.

“Well it should be time for us to head out. I’ll go grab my stuff.” The others just nod and I make my way back up stairs to grab my backpack and violin. While checking if I might have forgotten something I notice the now dry but crumpled sheet music. The ink was for sure smudged or just not even there. The once white crisp paper is now brown and wrinkled. Taking the sheet music from my desk I place it over the trash bin. Holding it there my mind begins to race. 

Can I really do it this time? I mean it’s not even music anymore. 

But you’ve poured your heart into this thing. 

For what? Something that doesn’t even matter anymore? 

It’s so simple to just throw it away. But like the weak hearted person I am, I pull open my drawer and throw it in with the countless other pieces of sheet music. Making my way back down stairs I see the four other boys waiting patiently. 

“I’m sorry I just got caught up in something…”

“You’re good. We’re in no hurry.” Joshua explains. I take a liking to his kindness, this should be nice to have around. 

Walking to school seemed to take less time. Probably because I wasn't walking alone like usual. The boys company made it more entertaining to say the least. Though the weather was still gloomy and chilly. They didn’t seem to mind, saying the city can be just as Dreary. 

Soon enough we make it on campus. The hustle and bustle of all the students making me realize that I’m really at the place I hate the most. Entering the hallways we see that it’s not too full since we came a little earlier. 

“This isn’t too bad.” Seungkwan says, winking at girls who just so happen to walk by. Giving him giggles and waves as they pass. “ I can get used to this.” Sure, when you’re a group of good looking guys I’m sure it would be easy to fit in. But I unfortunately didn’t get as warm of a welcome my first day.

“Well that makes one of us.” I huff and show them around school. They seemed to get a feel of the campus. Still mesmerized at the fact that there’s a school in the woods. Not to mention we had to stop the tour for five minutes because seokmin wanted to take a picture of a squirrel. 

“Alright, this should be the end of our tour. You guys good on finding your lockers alone?” I ask not really sure if I trust them to run amok yet. 

“Ya, I think we’ll be fine… correction I think I’ll be fine to find my way around. I’m not sure about these…” jihoon says as He side eyes Seungkwan and seokmin as they play on their phones. Me still being skeptical I try to say that I’ll stay with them but Joshua places a hand on my shoulder.

“We’ll be ok.” He smiles before letting Jihoon take the two other boys by the collar and starts dragging them down the halls. Joshua waves at me one last time before taking off. My heart nearly skips a beat, how could anyone be so nice?

I walk to my locker by myself of course. My Violin swinging gently as I walked. Turning the corner I see Aki standing patiently by my locker.  Her cello rested against the lockers as well. She notices me and waves. As I walk up to her I sense excitement. 

“You good?” I ask opening my locker to get my heavy books. 

“Am I good?! There was a bunch of new hotties that walked in the hall. And one of them winked at me! Winked!” Already knowing who said ‘hotties’ are, I groan. Aki  had always been boy crazy since I met her. Usually taking about that countless cute boys in her classes.

“Don’t get your hopes up. Those are my cousins best friends. And they’re a handful…” 

“A handful? After I made you breakfast?” I turn around to see Joshua leaning against the locker. Aki’s eyes widen as well as mine. 

“Joshua I didn’t mean you guys, well actually I did but not you, more like Seungkwan and seokmin… whatever.” I give up. 

“It’s ok I know what you meant.” He brushes off thankfully but his eyes look towards Aki. “Who’s your friend?” Aki runs her fingers through her hair and fixes her posture before sticking her hand out to greet him. 

“I’m Aki, __ 's best friend.” Joshua takes her hand and shakes it. 

“I’m Joshua as you heard her say.” He steps back to stand beside me. “Best friend huh. Well I’m sorry but can a barrow __ for a bit? I kinda need her to show me to the main office. I would’ve asked someone else but I saw you luckily.” He lowers his shoulders kinda giving me a shy stare.

I wave my hands and close my locker. “It’s ok I’d love to take you. I don’t mind at all, josh.” I pick up violin and turn towards Aki. “Do mind taking this to the band room for me?” I ask. A grin makes it way in her face as she swipes my case out of my hands.

“No of course not! You go show mister Joshua around here.” She winks, not subtlety and nudges her shoulder against mine. “Reel him in tiger.” She whispers to me but I just walk past, Joshua following behind.

The both of us make it to the office, it wasn’t a long walk but if you don’t know your way around, you could easily have gotten lost. I went to open the door but It swings open. Mingyu rushes out but halts when he sees us.

“You four better not cause any trouble or else detention for a month!” The vice principal yells but as the three others walk out the door. All eyes on Us. Seungcheol was the last to exit the door and slams it on his way out. His eyes look into mine but then they finally land on Joshua. His eyebrows furrow and makes his way to the front of the group.

All four of them staring down poor Joshua. 

I had never seen mingyu shut up for this long. Vernon and wonwoo looked surprised and the leader just looked pissed. More angry than when he bullies me. 

I look over to Joshua, his jaw is clenched as he stares right into the eyes of fire, if looks can kill them surely Joshua and seungcheol would have dropped to the floor already.

“Who the fuck are you?” Seungcheol finally breaks the intense silence. I try to make myself look small, not wanting to be apart of whatever the hell this is.  Seungcheol spoke with such rigid words, his jaw nowhere near relaxed.

“I’m Joshua Hong. I’m a new student here. And you?” Joshua spoke calmly. He smiled a bit at the boys. I notice seungcheol hands begin the clench, I have to stop this somehow. I don’t want this jerk to start something with Joshua on his first day.

“You don’t need to know who he is. He’s not important.” I speak up. Seungcheol seemed to be taken aback by my words, surprisingly. The rest of his crew looked confused as can be. “Now if you excuse us, we need to go to the office.” I hook my arms around Joshua’s and almost drag him away. Seungcheol looked as if he wanted to say something but he keeps it to himself. As we walk past ,mingyu goes to move but seungcheol places his hand in front of him. 

I give seungcheol one last look before opening the office door and closing it. That was the first time he’s looked at me with anything other than anger in his eyes. 

-

After walking Joshua to the office, I made my way to my first class. Seungcheol and his group weren’t there when I left. Which I’m glad they weren’t, who knows what would have happened after I disrespected them. I already go through enough abuse already. But why were they so taken aback by Joshua? Did they know him from somewhere? They can’t, Joshua is from across the world. But they were they so defensive?

I walk out of my orchestra class with Aki. We chat about how sight reading is the devil and about the one violinist that plays flat all the time. Luckily it’s lunch time and I’m craving that sandwich in my locker. 

“Ima go save us a table at lunch.” Aki said before parting ways with me. The halls were empty since everyone rushed to go to lunch or their next class. I get to my locker and place all my belongings but a loud bang scares me. I nearly jumped out of my skin and look to the side. 

Seungcheol. 

He isn’t with his group. Which is weird to see. 

“Can I help you?” I ask, letting that whole rude experience with Joshua run through my head. 

“Who are they?” He says with no emotion. 

“Who?” I bite back. He didn’t seem to like that response but I can see him holding back. 

“Those four new guys that you seem to be buddy buddy with all ready. Who are they?” I can’t really think of why he would want to know. But that makes me think of why he reacted so badly to someone he didn’t know. 

“Why don’t you ask them yourself-“

“___! I’m serious!” He yells at me. I inch back as he tries to take a deep breath. My heart pounds quickly, he’s never had an outburst with me. He usually remains calm and just makes me feel like nothing in his eyes. But he’s never snapped at me. 

“They’re jeonghan’s friends and my new house mates. There you happy now?” I give away hopelessly. Because lord knows I can’t ever win when it comes to seungcheol. 

“Jeonghan is back?” He whispers as his hands grip his hair. “Fuck!” He slaps his fist against the locker closest to him. Leaving a very noticeable dent.

“Are you-“

“Stay away from them.” 

“Excuse me?” I say not really thinking what I heard is correct. 

“I said stay away from his friends.” I guess I heard right the first time. Anger boils in my belly as I step forward, closer to him. 

“What since when do you tell me what to do? Does me making new friends and not being lonely really bother you that much?” I jab my finger into his chest. “You just love to see me alone because that’s all you live for, is to see me suffer for no reason.”

“If you know what’s good for you, you better stop or-“

“Or what seungcheol? You’re gonna have your friends bully me and push me around? You’re gonna make me feel like dirt underneath your feet?” I can see this is clawing at him. His body becomes more rigid. 

“You know what? I’m tired of you bullying me. So don’t tell me who not to hang out with. Because you're a jerk. You’re a terrible person, seungcheol.” One last jab sets him off.

My back it’s against the locker in half a second. “Take this as a warning. I’d watch my back if I were you.” Since when did he care about me? I push him away from me.

“Get off, since when I have you thought what’s good for me?” I don’t really give him time to answer before I throw my stuff into my locker and close it. After that I make my way down the hall quickly. I don’t want to look back because if I do, then he’ll think I care. 

But the thing is, I do. 

I make it to the lunch hall and notice Aki sitting in our usual spot for lunch. But surrounding her are jeonghan’s friends. Aki notices me and waves at me, I nod and make my way to the table. An open seat between Joshua and Aki, awaits me. I sit down slowly. 

“Hey you took awhile. Did something happen?” Jihoon asks as he takes a sip of his water bottle. 

“Ya where’s your lunch?” Aki asks. I didn’t have a chance to grab my lunch after that whole thing that happened with seungcheol. Though the rest of the table besides Aki didn’t have food in front of them. 

“I forgot to pack my lunch today and I dont have lunch money. So it looks like I’m not eating.” The other boys looked confused. Because almost all of them were present when I made my lunch this morning.

“Why are you guys not eating?” I ask. Seokmin clears his throat. “We’re on a fluid diet. After moving to a new area it’s easier on the stomach. Plus we have to keep our sexy figures.” He explains and shakes his water bottle. Though since it wasn’t transparent I don’t know what he could be drinking.

“Wow no wonder you are all so fit. Maybe I should try it.” Aki thinks aloud. 

“You don’t need it. You’re fine” I point out. As they chat about, I chose to stay quiet for most of the time. The words that seungcheol said to me were bouncing around in my brain. But what does he know about them? And it’s not like he cares about me, right? He’s so confusing.

“Hey are you ok?” Joshua asks gently. I come out of my thoughts and just nod. Giving him a reassuring smile before thinking again. But I notice something in the corner of my eye. 

Seungcheol. Sitting at his usual spot across the lunch room, staring at me. I try not to look but I can feel his gaze drilling a hole in my back. He’s sitting back on his chair and his arms crossed on his chest. When my eyes meet his, it’s almost like I know what he’s thinking.

I did exactly what he said not to do. 

I’m starting to feel anxious and a little queasy. I sit up making the rest of the group look up. “I think I’m gonna head to the practice rooms and play for a bit. I’ll see you all later. Joshua tries to reach out but I leave before he could. Walking out the lunch hall, I can sense seungcheol’s Head follow.

I rush down the hall, swinging my violin case back and forth, this is all way too much to think about. Why do I have such a bad feeling? The moment seungcheol and Joshua set eyes on each other I felt a black pit in my stomach. 

“Hey!” Someone calls, not really sure if it was directed at me I turn around. A group of boys walk in my direction. I look around to see if they could be calling to anyone else. But it’s an empty hall other than us. They walk closer and I can clearly see the logo of the school’s soccer team on their sweaters. 

Oh shit. 

“Are you the chick who broke out star goalie’s fingers?” The boy who stood in the middle of the two others. Any one could tell who he is, he’s the captain of the soccer team. And one of the best ones around.  I remember that day I slammed the locker on that kids fingers, and I don’t regret it.

“Ya, He was being a bully so I taught him a Lesson.” I say a little too confidently. The captain just bites the inside of his cheeks and nods on his team mates. They both step forwards and sling their backpacks to the side. My heart nearly stops and try to make a run for it. 

A hand covers my mouth as I try to scream and fling my limbs but they hold me down. We end up on the floor. My case falls out of my hands. My muffled screams did nothing and the heavy weight on my arms and legs had me planted.

 I look up and see the captain smirking. “Take her to the boys locker room.” I’m picked up like a rag doll and carried to the humid locker room. The rest of the team awaited there, just laughing. I feel like I can cry but the fear didn’t let me. God knows what they’re going to do with me. 

After the hands leaves my mouth I try and plead. Screaming for help but there’s no way anyone would hear me. “What are you going to do with me?” I ask. After the words leave my mouth, I’m yanked by my hair and pushed towards the lockers. 

“We heard your the best violinist around. Winning awards and shit for playing a stupid ass instrument. But our goalie was a prodigy, nothing could get past him. Until you broke his fingers and had him kicked off the team for bullying.” He slams his hand against a locker and it swings open. “So we have to return the favor.” 

“No! No please! Playing is all I have! Please!” Both of my arms are pulled towards the open locker. They push my hands against the locker so only my fingers would get hit. “Please, I’m sorry but music is my life! Please!” 

“Shut up bitch!” One of the players covers my mouth as the rest of the team hoots. I close my eyes ready for the impact but all I hear are footsteps.

“What-“ the player that was holding me was thrown off of me. I open my eyes to see a tall figure holding the player down.

Mingyu. 

He startes punching the kids face in. But as I crawl over to make him stop I hear yells and screaming in the locker room. I see wonwoo and Vernon beating the crap out of the rest of the team. Effortlessly they take down countless soccer players. Then I feel hands around me, helping me up. Seungcheol picks me up and holds me Against him. He starts to make his way out of the locker room, his hold firm. 

When we do make it out of the locker room and onto the field. He gently sets me on the grass. Am I dreaming? Could this really be Choi seungcheol? I must have hit my head when they kidnapped me. 

He kneels down in front of me. “Did they hurt you?” He said gently. But this is all so confusing, why would he save me?

“What? You couldn’t stand the thought of someone else hurting me?” I hiss and stand up.

“I’ve never laid my hands on you.” He counters. But I click my tongue.

“You didn’t have to.” He stands up and grabs onto my wrist.

“Did they hurt you?” He asks again. But this time he actually seemed concerned. But it only made me angrier. I yank my wrist out of his hand and stand my ground.

“Why do you care? Not like you have in the last three years.” He says nothing and places his hands in his pockets. “Thanks for saving me and all but I don’t understand.” 

“Understand what?” I look into his eyes. Those same eyes hat terrorized me and humiliated me these past years. Those eyes that made me feel worthless. I used to love his eyes. 

“Why you would help me.” He just sighs and holds onto my shoulders. 

“You know why.” Those words are the ones that set me off. I roughly move my shoulders and push him away. His eyes widen as he’s forced back.

“Don’t act like you care about me seungcheol! Don’t mess with me like that! I’m not ready to be made a fool of right now!” I try to get away but he wraps his arms around me, keeping me In place.

“I never stopped caring! You hear me!” I try to get away but it’s like his arms are stone. 

“Then why?!” 

“Because I did it to keep you safe. And everytime I see you, I see him!” He explains but I still struggle. 

“Hey! Choi!” We both look back to see the captain. He seemed to have made it out of the locker room. Seungcheol let’s go if me and gently pushes me behind him. 

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d turn around.” 

“Seungcheol were not done talking! Who do you see!?Protect me from what?!” I butt in, not really caring about the captain.  

“___ not now!”

“No tell me! I waited three years for an answer!” Seungcheol turns around and stares at me. “Who do you hate so much that you can’t stand the sight of me?!” 

“Me.” Seungcheol goes rigid, I look over his shoulder and nearly pass out. I can’t believe what’s in front of my eyes. 

Jeonghan, with the lifeless body of the pour kid in his grasp. The guys neck in his hand as blood seeps out from his neck. My cousin's mouth dripping with crimson as he throws the body to the grass. His uniform was stained with blood and his teeth razor sharp. And his eyes a terrifying red.

I hug Seungcheol tightly as he goes to some kind of defense stance. And it’s like my worst nightmare because he too has the same eyes and teeth. A demonic hiss leaving his lungs as he holdsl on to me.

Soon the four others come walking onto the field. Standing next to my cousin. The same eyes, they’re all the same. Then I sense others behind Seungcheol and I. His friends stand beside, with the same hiss and fangs as their leader. 

“What the fuck?!” I scream as I try to run away but seungcheol’s arms keeps me against his side. Jeonghan speaks up. 

“Seungcheol. It’s been awhile .” 

“It really has.” 

To be Continued 

-----------

A/N hope you enjoyed! schools been kicking my ass.

#Seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen scoups #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen joshua #seventeen seungkwan #seventeen vernon #seventeen mingyu #seventeen woozi #seventeen oneshot #kpop fanfiction #svt x reader #kpop oneshots #kpop masterlist #vampire seventeen #seventeen vampire au #vampire au #seventeen au

[all-of-the-imagines-for-eve]

Red ~ Embry Call (Part 1)

A/n: This had me so pumped, let’s go

Warning: cussing and sexual content

Word Count (w/out lyrics): 3,047

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly.

Fifteen and wildly in love. To be so free...

I'd been told plenty of times how lucky I was. How insanely, crazy lucky I was that I had found Embry Call. They didn't have to tell me, though, I KNEW I was lucky. I knew that he looked at me like no other boy his age could ever even dream of looking at a girl. He treated me better and thought more long term than sometimes even I did.

Sometimes I wondered what it was about me that made him this way. He had never been like this before (trust me I'd asked) and he could be so immature and childish that in the moments of earnest and true love, I worried that maybe I was working with two people who looked exactly the same...

He was wild. Loving him was being on a rollercoaster, rarely ever calm and slow unless it was building up to something major. He was fun, but I fell in love with him because of the way he held me when I cried.

There was something mesermizing about him. About his laugh and how he tied his hair back and the way his eyebrows wiggles when he made a sex joke that would have made a nine year old tattle tell and a twelve year old holler with laughter. There was something in the way he kissed me that left me both completely satisfied and also dying for more. Something about the way he scooped me up when I wasn't paying attention or how he said my name when he wanted to cuddle or how he drew his last name next to mine that made me wonder if he was joking or daydreaming.

We'd been dating a year and a half. We'd gotten together when we were fourteen. Fourteen! We were sixteen now. Weird. It seemed insane and stupid and impossible but we never stopped. A year rolled around and then almost another and we were still here.

His arms around me felt like armor and I leaned back into him, smiling even though I was doing homework. "I love you, Call."

"I love you too, y/l/n."

He didn't ven hesitate, but it didn't feel casual either. He enunciated it by leaving a kiss on my neck and I felt my smile soften. The sparks and insanity and bubbly feelings went away, but my happiness when being with him never did. He didn't spark me like a car engine starting, but he made me happy and I could do the same for him. That's all that would matter as long as we would allow it.

After a second, I sighed. "I don't want to do this, Em," I whined. My head rested against his shoulder as he leaned forward to look closely at what I was working on, his hair tickling my jaw.

A sigh as heavy as mine escaped him. "Why is your math so much harder than mine? We're both sophomores."

"They hate me more." He scoffed, humored, but I feigned seriousness. "Those teachers have a creepy adult crush on you. It's probably your smile. Or your eyes. Your hair. Your laugh. Your-" he moved to come face to face with me, his darker skin tinted with a blush. "Lips," I finished, smirking.

He kissed me and I grinned. When we parted I turned on my side, pushing my homework away with my foot before curling into Embry and closing my eyes. "You have to do this," he reminded me. "You're already behind- your mom is going to ground you. And I'm all she ever grounds you from anymore."

Trying not to laugh, I groaned. "Don't make me, Em this stuff is murder!"

His nose traced along my neck and I sighed contentedly. "Do it for me?" I huffed. "I'll give you a kiss every time you get a problem right."

"You'll give me a kiss either way," I pointed out."

He leaned away. "No I won't."

Opened my eyes, I rose an eyebrow. "You can't stay in the same room as me and not kiss me, Call, but you can be cute and pretend to try."

His eyes set and I knew hat I had just set of World War three. "Bet."

I made the mistake and indeed bet.

Now I was sitting here, on my back as he leaned against the doorframe, looking at me with a smirk on his face but frustration in his eyes. I pouted. "Em," I whined.

His face screwed up in concentration and I knew I’d suceeded in making it harder to say no to me. "Do your work and I’ll give you a kiss," he offered rather casually and calmly.

I got an idea, smirking as I sat up and leaned over to do a problem. It took me a good few seconds but I pushed myself, pumped by my idea and anticipation. He came and sat next to me to make sure I was actually doing my work, probably surprised I’d broken so quickly. When I finished, I sat back, grinning at him. "I get a kiss now."

Embry searched my face for a few seconds, his eyebrows curled in doubt. Before he could find anything, though, I rolled my eyes and grabbed his collar, bringing his lips to mine. He made a half moan on the feeling of impact, his hand instinctively moving to my neck, his thumb caressing my jaw. I let nature take over and followed the flow of my wants - which I usually had to calm but was going to let completely lose now.

Moving and turning, I got to my knees without breaking the kiss, causing him to lean back a bit. I then moved into his lap, straddling him purposefully so that I grinned against him. He gasped and I smirked, my hands moving into his hair to wrap in the long strands and tug slightly. Another moan escaped him, muffled and low and longer than the first. His hands moved to my waist, gripping me tightly and pulling me close. My tongue ran along his bottom lip and he let me in without even a pause, enjoying the rare show of dominance. My hands moved again, this time breaking the kiss only a second to take my shirt off.

The house was empty and this was SO much better than doing homework. I kissed him again and his hands flattened against my exposed sides and stomach. He went to pull me close but then groaned and pushed me away. I went back in to kiss him again but he turned his head. "You need to do homework," he reminded me, his voice huskier than usual.

Determined, I moved to kissing his neck, my teeth and lips moving across his warm skin. He hummed in appreciation. "I love you," I whispered seductively. "I want you, Em."

He pushed me away, his eyes darkened with lust as he tried to control himself. "Y/n, you are going to do your homework." I glared at him, crawling off and returning to my after school hell. He leaned close, his fingers grazing my bra clasp as he whispered, "And then I’ll fuck you senseless."

Who needed much more motivation than that?

-

I remember the day it all fell apart.

Embry Call was a lot of things, but he was very rarely ever angry. Never was he as violently angry as he was now.

His fingers wrapped around my wrist, pulling me closer. "Why won’t you just LISTEN?" My eyes widened and I flinched. I wasn’t scared of him but he was being rough and aggressive and I didn’t like it. "Why did you go to that party? You could have been hurt!"

Ripping my arm away was harder than I thought and I ended up just pulling him closer. He was intimidating when angry. "I had it under control," I promised calmly, trying to process this sudden turn in his personality. He worried, sure, but usually when I did something stupid he’d wrap me in a hug and kiss me and tell me how stupid I was and tell me to at least involve him next time so he could keep an eye on me...

Now he was pissed. "You broke down on the road and just WALKED home? Your phone died? You didn’t answer any of my calls and texts- Y/n I thought we’d have to find your body somewhere!"

"Embry, I’m sorry okay? It wasn’t-Hey, that hurts!" His eyes widened and his face relaxed as I exclaimed, loosening his grip on my wrist so that I could rip it away, my other hand rubbing the throbbing skin gently. My eyes watered and I felt stupid crying. I should be yelling at him, or leaving the house and ignoring him for a very long time. Make sure he NEVER did something like this again. But I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do and I got caught up in the moment.

His eyes searched mine and then looked to my wrist. "Did- did I hurt you?"

"Not badly," I comforted. "Look, you need to calm down okay? What’s gotten into you?"

He stepped back, eyes widening. "Not badly? Y/n, did I hurt you?"

My mouth opened and then closed. I frowned. "A little bit," I admitted begrudgingly. Embry took another step back until his legs bumped into the couch and then he basically collapsed on it. My eyes went wide and I forgot my wrist in favor of rushing the few steps to kneel next him. My hand went to his forehead. "Em you’re burning up... Come on let’s get you to bed." I carried him to his room, helping take his shirt and shoes off and laying him in bed to be wrapped in blankets- how he always slept. "I’ll bring over some soup tomorrow," I whispered. "For now, stay warm and go to sleep. Now. You need rest. I’ll get you a glass of water for when you wake up because you’ll need lots of fluids. Maybe you should-"

He caught my wrist, gently. The same wrist he’d held in an iron grip earlier. His eyes were sad as he looked at my hand, tugging me closer so he could kiss my wrist. "I’m sorry." His voice broke and he suddenly looked so exhausted and worn out that my heart broke too.

Kneeling next to his bed, I wiped his hair out of his face. "It’s okay," I eased. "Just don’t do that again okay? Ever." He nodded. I huffed. "Well you’ve never done anything like that before and you were worried sick and actually not feeling well, so I’ll excuse it once." We exchanged a smile. "Now I’ll get that water and then head home, okay? Sleep."

As I went to leave the room, Embry asked, "How did I get so lucky to have you?”

I chuckled to myself. “We’ll never know, Call.” As I promised, I got him a cup of water, kissed him goodbye, and headed home. I went right to sleep so I could wake up early the next morning and make him the soup I’d promised. Homemade, my mom’s recipe. I brought it to Embry’s house, smiling when his mother answered.

Her face was sad though and my smile wavered. "He says for you not to come in right now, dear. He’s just gotten worse than yesterday, Jacob Black’s father brought Sam Uley came over when I called to ask him if he knew anything about it... I’m sorry, hun, but they said it’s really contagious."

My heart fell but I nodded, wondering where I’d heard that name before. Sam Uley. It sounded way too familiar to not be able to tie it to something, but I couldn’t place exactly where I’d heard it before. "Well, give this to him will you?" I asked, holding up my bowl of soup.

She grinned. "Aw, how sweet! He’ll love this, thank you, I will. Hope to see you soon, dear." And then she went inside and I stepped away from the house, sighing heavily. I moved to Embry’s window after a small pause, my fingers reaching up to tap three times, pause, tap two times, pause, and then tap once. This was our secret code: 3, 2, 1. And then he would response with 1, 2, 3.

The response never came.

Dismissing it since he was probably asleep, I turned away from the house and went back to my own again. I’d be able to talk to him again soon- I could last a few days...

I wouldn’t see Embry Call again for far longer than just a few days.

Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall. Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all.

I can’t help but think of how we met as I sit here by myself.

We were young, in middle school. I’d loved next to Jacob Black as long as I remembered but I was awkward and kind of a loner because I was too boyish and rough to hang out with the girls and boys didn’t want me because I was a girl. A snotty girl had shoved me in the hallway, and I lashed out because I would not let this even start. I was ending this- NOW. I was not the kind of person to lay down and take anything; you don’t mess with me.

After I went off on her and she attempted to shove me again, I pushed her onto her ass, tackling her to the ground and pinning her arms with my legs and using my hands to slam down next to either side of her face, startling her. "Don’t," I enunciated. "Do that."

A teacher had begun to come over so I scrambled off of her. She started crying and I got sent to the principals office, but after I explained everything, thy called us both in, made us truce, and that was it. She left me alone, and so did everyone else.

Completely alone... as usual.

On my way home from school, Jacob caught up to me. "The way you stood up to that girl was crazy cool."

I grinned, excited by the idea of a new friend. The two of us really hit it off and he invited me to hang out with him and his friends. I of course agreed. When the time came and I finally met Embry and Quil, I was taller than all of the boys.

Eventually they got their growth spurts and we all started to go through puberty. Embry and I got more flirty in our physicality. Me jumping on his back randomly, or running at him and having him catch me. Wrestling matches where one of us would let the other pin us so we could meet eyes and be close. Me teaching him how to dance. Him constantly wrapping his arms around my waist and shoulders. When he asked m to the dance and we kissed, everyone was just relieved it had finally happened so they wouldn’t have to deal with our angst and longing.

I thought of the way he smiled when he kissed me for the first time, hands on my waist and my arms resting on his shoulders while we slow danced. After, we closed our eyes, moving slowly with our foreheads pressed together. Him quietly asking if I would be his girlfriend and both of us giggling as I said yes. That first month we COULDN’T stop touching each other. That awkward time after where we learned self control but still wanted to touch each other all the time and had to learn when we and when wasn’t the appropriate times.

I thought of his breath on my neck and he whispered, "I love you" for the first time. It took us a while because people kept nagging about how young we were so much that it scared us, but I was thrilled and eagerly said it back, kissing him again. "I’m serious," he said after my wild giggles died down. "I love you. I know I’m a kid or whatever, but when we grow up I’m going to marry you Y/n L/n.”

I had blushed so hard. "You won’t."

He had grinned. "Bet." I would soon learn that that word was always followed by a fierce, driven action. One that he would do no matter what obstacles stood in his way.

And yet, it seemed, something had stood in the way of that first promise. That first challenge he’d so fervently accepted, grinning as wide and mischievously as if I’d just challenged him to a race or an eating competition.

How silly it all seemed now, to believe that an immature love born in near childhood could ever surpass to adulthood. Ridiculous, that I believed we would really make it.

We hadn’t talked in weeks. I saw him at school but I’d long realized he was avoiding me and didn’t want to talk to me. I’d tried to face him a ton of times. First to tell him off, and then just to get answers. Were we even still together? The one time I finally caught up with him he snapped at me that I wasn’t getting the message and then broke up with me. In front of all of his new friends. Sam Uley and that gang. Yeah, I’d remembered where I’d heard the name before. Sam Uley, the ring leader of the gang that before Embry had only mentioned with loathing. He stood there with his buddies, not even looking at me as he sneered at me to get lost.

He seemed normal otherwise. His hair he cut short and he kissed a surprising amount of school but otherwise he seemed to be pretty upbeat and positive around Sam and the others.

Our love was fiery and passionate and full of life and fun. Few boundaries or hesitation. It was impossible not to fall for him. Too thrilling and enticing. It had lasted just long enough to make me believe that it would go forever, too. Just long enough to make me dare believe, even after all of the warnings and promises and attempts of other people that tried to get through my skull. I still believed. Defended Embry and me and us.

I guess we were as doomed as everyone had said...

-

Forever Tag List: @bitchyseawitch @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21

#embry call #red #taylor swift #song prompt #wolf pack #twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #part one #imagine #x reader #kiowa gordon

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty Behind the Madness: 13

a/n: If you would like to be added/ removed from the permanent tag list let me know.

b>

Previous Chapters can be found in my masterlist under beauty behind the madness

13:

It would probably be considered stalking to be seated out in the car park waiting for Arleigh and Mitch but my intentions are good. They both had a free period and decided to work on their project at the library downtown. I don’t trust Mitch alone with Arleigh and considering their history I have every right not to. I will simply keep my distance and observe and only if something goes wrong will I interfere. Although Mr Axle has a restraining order against me I think he would understand I approached his daughter to protect her, even he’s not that crazy. I even drove my car to school today just so I could follow the pair but as I watch them walk out of the building, Arleigh leading the way to the exit I realize that I was stupid.

“My car is this way.” Mitch told her but she ignored him, keeping to her pace she continued walking towards the entrance.

“There is no way in hell I’m getting in your car.” Arleigh shot back causing me to break a slight smile. She is still the same stubborn Arleigh who hates Mitch with a burning passion. That is something I am proud of at least. I don’t know why, I guess I’m just glad that somethings about her are still the same. That I didn’t ruin everything about her.

Like the last time I followed Arleigh to the library, I kept my distance and my head down but I didn’t wear my earphones hoping I would catch any conversation that they shared but the whole trip, from what I could tell, was completely silent. Mitch and Arleigh walked side by side with Mitch slouching and his hands shoved lazily into his pockets while Arleigh held her posture straight even with the pile of text books she was holding close to her chest. I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed at how uneventful the walk to the library was. In all honestly I had expected Mitch to do something childish like push the books out of Arleigh’s hand or trip her over for his amusement but nothing happened, they just walked in silence the whole trip. I suppose that is a good thing for Arleigh but a bad thing for me.

As soon as they arrive at the library they take a seat out one of the tables behind the countless rows of bookshelves and I’m glad that Arleigh hasn’t taken Mitch into one of the study rooms, if she did I would have totally flipped out. After putting her stuff down Arleigh walked away to go get a coffee leaving Mitch alone to slouch in one of the chairs looking board out of his mind. Why is Arleigh even forcing him to work on this assignment with her, I would have thought that she would rather do it all by herself.

When Arleigh returns she pulls out her laptop and begins flicking through textbooks. She pushes her laptop in front of Mitch and tells him to start typing as she flicked through one of her books. To be honest I don’t even know what this assignment is about considering I haven’t even thought of mine let alone started it, Miranda is coming over tonight which now that I think of it I’m not looking forward to it at all.

My frustration begins to grow as I realize that maybe me following them was pointless. Mitch has to do something, he is Mitch after all, why is he sitting there and lazily typing away what Arleigh is telling him to? It doesn’t make sense! Does he know I followed him, is that why he isn’t doing anything? He couldn’t possible know, Neither of them had noticed me the whole time, I was sure of it.

“Shawn what are you doing?” A familiar voice asks from behind me causing me to jump in surprise. In confusion I turn around to see Layla and don’t understand why she was in the library when I knew for a fact her advanced math class was on right now.

“What are you doing here?” I scoffed back trying to mask my surprise but I’m positive I was doing a bad job considering that I wanted nothing more than to turn my attention back to Mitch and Arleigh, what if I missed something major because of Layla.

“I followed you.” She shrugged innocently causing a sense of rage to flood through me. Who the hell was she to violate my privacy. Sure she may be my ‘girlfriend’ but that doesn’t give her the right to become my stalker.

I had been so busy following Arleigh and Mitch to notice anyone was following me. Stupidity had gotten the best of me. I was so focused on watching Mitch and Arleigh with prying eyes that I forgot to make sure that no one had noticed me making my way out of the school grounds.

“Why? What is wrong with you?” I shouted my anger getting the best of me. She was ruining everything by being here. She needed to leave right now before she made everything ten times worse then she already had.

“Me?” She quizzed clearly baffled causing me to roll my eyes. “what is wrong with you? Last time I checked Arleigh has a restraining order against you, you shouldn’t be getting close to her or following her for that matter, why don’t I just call the cops.”

“How do you know she has a restraining order against me?”

“I looked over your file.” She admitted. So much for confidentiality Jenny. How long ago did she read it? Was it recent? Did she read what I had said to Jenny last time I saw her? However I cant bring myself to answer her.

My jaw clinched and fists tightened by my sides. She did not just threaten me. Who the fuck does she think she is threatening me like that? Layla sent a disapproving look over my shoulder at Arleigh and Mitch before letting out a heavy sigh and stepping towards me sympathy falling over her features as she looks up at me. Gently she takes my hands into hers causing me to frown deeply, does she think I’m some sick puppy who needs her help and sympathy.

“You don’t need her.” She whispers causing me to mentally roll my eyes. Layla doesn’t know anything, she is Como,tell clueless about what happened between Arleigh and I. the only thing she is aware of is that Arleigh and I never had sex, thanks to Mitch practically everyone in school knows it. “Stop chasing someone who isn’t even worth your time.” At this I really do roll my eyes. She’s treating me like I’m the victim when I’m not, I’m the murderer standing over Arleigh’s bloody body with the weapon held tightly in my grip. It’s a black and white case but I don’t bother correcting Layla, the people I care about most already know the truth, I suppose no one else’s opinion matters anymore.

She steps forward again, her hands now placed on my chest causing me to stumble back slightly hoping that her hands would come off but they don’t, they stay exactly where they are glued to my chest as she continues to look up at me. Slowly she comes up on her tiptoes and pecks me on the lips before mumbling, 'didn’t you say your parents weren’t going to be home tonight?’

Hesitantly I send a look back at Arleigh just to make sure that she wasn’t watching the way she always seemed to be when Layla was around. Thankfully she seems too troubled at the thought of having to work with Mitch to be paying any attention to me.

Pushing past Layla I make my way out of the library and towards her car. She has only ever been to my house once or twice but somehow knew exactly where to go.

Leaning my head against the cold glass of the window I close my eyes for a moment and focus on my breathing. Something about Layla always showing up when Arleigh is around pisses me off. Anyone else would be okay but when she shows up while I’m around Arlegh it’s like a reminder of who I used to be and who I have turned into which only makes me feel worse.

*

“So I was thinking maybe this weekend we could drive into the city?” I suggest once I have finally backed out of the school carpark meaning that we were finally free for the next two day until we had to come back again.

It is only an hour or maybe two drive to the city, depending on traffic and Arleigh hates shopping online so I figured it would be a nice  to make the drive and spend the day there.

“I can’t, I have plans.” She mutters back causing me to frown to myself. Arleigh never spends her free time with anyone but me, it has been that way since the day I met her. And on the rare occasion that Arleigh isn’t with me she is either binge watching Netflix or drawing it just doesn’t make sense. All of a sudden she has plans?

“Since when?” I chuckle not bothering to hide my humor causing Arleigh to frown to herself.

“With my dad, I have a life you know.” She states not bothering to hide the offense she has taken from my little jokes.

“Relax I was joking!” I attempt to apologies before the conversation escalated. “So what are you and your dad doing while I I’ll be spending my weekend board at home with nothing to do.” I exaggerate in hopes of lifting her spirits but she I am met with a response of silence.

I sneak a look over at Arleigh to find her leaning her head against the window, her eyes scrunched up closed, and a few tears rolling down her cheeks.

A lump forms in my throat at the sight of Arleigh looking so distressed. She was never one to let things affect her enough to bring her down, even though I’ve seen her cry before it still always comes as a shock and I have no idea how to help her.

“What’s wrong?” I attempt again hoping that this time she will tell me because we are now alone in my car and not in the over  crowded halls of the school.

“Nothing.” She huffs wiping her tears away quickly and sitting up straight causing me to roll my eyes.

“Obviously that’s a lie.” I retort keeping my eyes on the road and not looking up to see Arleigh’s reaction although I desperately want to. “If you don’t want to tell me then just say so, I don’t have time for beating around the bush.” I add no bothering to hide my irritation.

“I meant 'Nothing’ as in nothing that concerns you.” She hissed darkly.

My grip tightens on the wheel as I attempt to bite my tongue instead of saying something but I can’t help it. Holding back only makes the anger inside me build up. Here I am trying to help her out and she’s being not only difficult but also bitchy.  All she had to say was 'I don’t want to talk about it.’ and I would have understood, sure I would have been annoyed that yet again she was pushing me away but I wouldn’t press on the topic. She didn’t have to go on like that. Its almost like she’s begging for a fight.

“Well considering that we are together I’m pretty sure it concerns me.” I torment under my breath.

Arleigh doesn’t like this. From the corner of my eye I can see that she is glaring at me, clearly fuming that I was standing my ground. We both held a stubborn trait but it had never gotten in the way because we always understood when to back down and when not to push it to far. Since Arleigh wasn’t in the mood it should have been my responsibility to back down but I couldn’t seem to help myself.

“Just because we are together doesn’t mean I have to tell you everything.” She shot back.

“It kind of does but of course you would know nothing about that.” My frustration was growing and I was thankful that we had just turned into our street because I shouldn’t be driving while fighting with Arleigh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She snapped now fully turning in her seat as if to let me know that  I have her full attention which only adds more pressure on me as I continue to drive.

“Just that you suck at normal relationship stuff!” I huff out and it finally feels good to get things off my chest. “You never want to go on dates, you hate showing PDA, and you never talk to me about anything that troubles you but then you expect me to comfort you.”

“You know what, stuff you, I honestly don’t need your rubbish.” She shouts taking off her seat belt and stepping out of the car now that I am parked in front of m house. “You don’t know what its like to have actual problems that’s why I don’t talk to you.  You have two parents who love you and give you everything, your family is happy, you just don’t understand what its like to loose both your parents.” And with that she slams the door and storms away leaving me confused. How could she have lost both, she lives with her father? Is Mr Axle not her real father, is that why she looks nothing like him and why he is so evil and protective over her, it would make sense.

Stupidly, I realize that I’m sitting in the car dumbfounded. Hurriedly I kill the engine, take the keys out and follow her. When I reach her driveway she is already at the front door unlocking it. I call after her but she ignores me, opens the door and slams it shut behind her. I begin to bang on the door and call out for her but she doesn’t respond. With one last kick of frustration at the door I give up and head home.

*

As soon as I slam the front door shut behind me. I push Layla against it, my lips attacking hers but nothing happened. All I wanted was to forget Arleigh but I couldn’t. As I kissed Layla while my hands roamed up and down her body freely my mind wondered back to Arleigh, how her lips always tasted soft and sweet thanks to the strawberry flavored lip balm she always used, how her kisses always felt innocent and pure yet full of passion as if to her it was more than just kissing, it was her way of showing she loved me. As Layla’s hands move to my shirt and begin to pull it up I can’t help but wonder what Arleigh would look like doing this, she had taken my shirt off a few times. She would bite down on her lip and focus her attention on my face sneaking a few looks down to my abdomen as if she was embarrassed of checking me out.

Picking up Layla I make my way up the stairs to my bedroom hurriedly, wanting nothing more than for the thought of Arleigh to leave me for five minutes. Her ghost was haunting me, hollowing me out until all that consumed me were thoughts of Arleigh, but I wouldn’t let it win, it will not consume me.

Thankfully Aaliyah has netball practice and will not be home for another few hours which gives me all the time I need to rid myself of the thought of Arleigh.

Peeling Layla’s clothes away I begin to kiss on her body gently, the way I would if she were Arleigh. I would treat her like a piece of glass and make sure that she was okay with everything. But Layla’s moans remind me that she is not Arleigh causing me to grow angry and speed up the pace. Arleigh would hold back her moans and only let out small sighs unwillingly.

Once both Layla and I are naked a slip inside her and begin to thrust as hard and fast as I possibly could. Her hands grip onto my back only causing me to grow angrier. If Arleigh was under me she would have her fingers laced with mine or her hands gently around my neck pulling me closer, she wouldn’t be moaning my name loudly like Layla she would bee kissing me and whispering how she loves me.

Why hadn’t I waited for Arleigh, she would have been worth the wait, I knew that from day one. I was prepared to wait until marriage if that was what she wanted, but that stupid night ruined everything.

tag list: @honeypotmendes @justanotherfangirl272 @illuminatedestiny @youllbemineandillbeyours

#queued #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes blurbs