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meltwonu · 3 years

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| 𝖓𝖊𝖔𝖓 𝖉𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖒 | CHAPTER 1

pairing; camboy!seokmin x female!reader

this chapter’s notes; camboy!au, university!au, dirty talk, masturbation, J O I (jerk-off instructions), mentions of name-calling, degradation! 💕 Welcome to neon dream! I’m sooo excited to start this series! 😭💕 I’ve been holding this fic in the drafts since last year too, omg, but finally we’re here! A bit of a slow build but you know how I do~ Hehe! 😈 Thank you all soooo much for your love and support and I know a LOT of y’all wanted to see a camboy!seokmin series after that ‘lil blurb that I literally wrote a year ago. LOL In all honesty, I’ve thought about him so often too 😌💕 and lbr Seokmin’s vlive radio streams... 😏 Heheh... 😏😏 Enjoy chapter one, and have a lovely rest of your day! I love you! 💕

*queued post.

chapters; 1 - ?

Seokmin finishes his shift at the local diner at 8PM sharp - arms tired and legs buckling as soon as he stops in front of the first park bench he sees.

The sun has already disappeared beyond the horizon; dark shades of blues and purples mixing in with the last bits of oranges and reds before it’s completely dark and Seokmin just stares off into the distance with a blank look on his face.

He’s not mad, just tired as he takes a few minutes to drink in his day.

‘Isn’t this a bit much for vocal lessons?’, he’d asked.

The slightly older male had only shrugged and readjusted his glasses as he sat across from Seokmin. ‘You don’t have to take my lessons. That’s just the price of my time.’

Seokmin groaned, fingertips un-crumpling the flyer in his hands that read ‘Professional Vocal Lessons from Lee Jihoon!’ accompanied by a photograph of the male surrounded by various accolades.

He trusted and respected Jihoon, but it’d been a shock even to Seokmin when Jihoon had written up a formal contract including time slots and varying prices - day and time of the week only making the prices sky-rocket.

“Fuckin’ Jihoon. Not even giving me a friend's discount.” Seokmin mutters, tossing the flyer in the trash as he stands up.

He already worked two different jobs in between going to classes and yet it was barely enough to pay for his classes, rent and bills. Now, it definitely wouldn’t have even been enough to afford Jihoon’s $300 an hour vocal lessons and Seokmin was already out of ideas for jobs.

“What the hell am I gonna do?”

Seokmin spends the night searching for job listings, sending in his CV to anyone willing to take it.

There’s a moment where he pauses to think about the necessity of it all but remembering Jihoon’s recently record deal has him groaning - Jihoon’s time was, unfortunately, worth the money.

“Someone has to hire me…” Seokmin mutters.

His sleepy eyes peer over to the Les Misérables script sitting open next to him on the bed - a frown on his lips when he realizes he hadn’t even gone through any of it for his theatre class tomorrow either.

“Fuck, now I’m not even prepared for class tomorrow!”

You’re late to class. Again.

Soft curses fall from your lips as you run down the hall to the theatre room at the far end of the building.

It’s not the first time and it definitely won’t be the last and you can only grimace when the door creaks loudly and announces your late presence to all the eyes that glance your way in a flash.

Your professor raises a brow and points to the back of the lecture hall; already accustomed to your tardiness as you shoot her a sheepish smile.

You’d just have to set 7 alarms instead of 5 next time.

A sigh escapes you as you take a seat - eyes already on the male that stands next to your professor as soon as you settle in.

“See? Seokmin’s vocal control is superb, one of the best in the class!” She exclaims; praising the blushing male next to her. “Take notes, everyone!”

“Ah, thank you so much, professor!” The male scratches the back of his head in embarrassment before he scurries off to take his seat in the front row.

Not a class went by that didn’t have Seokmin being praised and sometimes, it made you question why he was even in an introductory class when he clearly excelled at what he did.

Not that you minded it though - he was kind and undeniably handsome and always gave you something to look forward to in class.

“Alright, everyone! Let’s get into pairs!”

Seokmin smiles at the old lady taking her laundry out of the dryer at the laundromat - just waiting for her to take her leave so he can empty the quarters out of the machine before moving on to the next one.

“Thanks for coming in!” He exclaims, beaming at the woman as she smiles back.

“Such a kind young man! Thank you!”

It’s a slow paced job and most often than not, he spends it waiting for enough people to use one of the machines before he saunters over to empty it of the change. It’s boring, but the pay is good and he uses the downtime to do class work or play games on his phone.

Today, however, he spends the time in between collecting quarters and studying to look for even more job listings; a sigh on his lips when he reaches the bottom of the page and realizes he’s already signed up for all the ones he was qualified for.

“Why, why, why…” Groaning, he scrolls back up to the top of the website, zoning out on the alternating ADs that pop up.

‘Chat with hot locals in your area! Low prices!’

‘Meet sexy, singles near you!’

‘Looking for a Sugar Daddy?’

Seokmin bites the inside of his cheek as he watches the ADs flash on his phone - camming was the one option he maybe had considered a handful of times before discarding the idea all together out of his shyness. Because while he wasn’t unfamiliar with sex, it was definitely a completely different ball park than what he was used to.

‘Should I really…’ He thinks.

But Seokmin likes to test his limits and despite him cursing out Jihoon mentally - he’d already picked up a fresh, new flyer before he’d left campus earlier in the day.

He’d just have to do more research when he was in the privacy of his own home.

And Seokmin’s idea of research is hours spent on camming websites - a crimson blush painting his cheeks the entire time he tries to gather ideas.

There’d be couples, threesomes, and loads of solo live streams; all of them making Seokmin gasp and bite his lip at the wide array of content they all seemed to make. From BDSM to even more milder masturbation streams, he noticed that there seemed to be a niché for almost everything.

He’d already made an account and had a mic for when he’d record song covers and despite most of the live streams he’d seen being video streams - he’d caught a few that were just audio streams.

Something that he felt more comfortable with.

“Shit, I really need to sleep...”

Seokmin clicks on one more live stream before he calls it a night; this time of a solo woman on a bed.

The stream lags for a second and Seokmin watches as she slides a dildo into her cunt as he nibbles on his bottom lip. He’d watched porn before but something about it being recorded live had goosebumps rising on his skin as he continued to watch her thrust the toy into her sopping wet pussy.

‘Yeah? You like that? You like sliding your cock into my cunt like the good little whore I am? Fucking my greedy little hole and stretching me out with your big cock?’

Seokmin’s eyes widen at the scene playing out in front of him but he can’t deny the way his cock twitches in his sweats the more she talks. He takes his eyes off of the live stream to look around his room as if anyone else was there before his eyes flit back down to the window open on his screen.

“She’s really good…” Muttering, he slides his laptop off to the side - giving himself the space to palm himself over the fabric of his sweats as he bites his bottom lip.

‘Mmm, stroke your cock for me… Pretend you’re thrusting into my tight, wet ‘lil pussy and really give it to me hard… I wanna feel your cock ramming me until my legs are shaking...’

Seokmin grits his teeth as he gets into it - it’s for research, he tells himself.

His cock is hard by the time he’s shimmying his sweats down and he’s quick to wrap a hand around himself as he starts to jerk himself off with the video going in the back. He’s less concerned about the video as his eyes flutter shut - shirt clamped between his pursed lips as he moans into the fabric.

He smears the precum down his shaft before keeping his fingers wrapped firm around the base; teasing himself as a thrum of arousal pours down his body.

‘Look at how your cock fills me up so good... Squeeze your cock like it’s my pussy sucking you in deeper… Ah, look at it, your cock is going so deep in my pussy... I can feel you in my stomach...’

Gulping, Seokmin follows the directions; hips thrusting up into his tightly closed fist as his brows furrow.

Would it really be this easy?

‘Are you gonna cum soon? I wanna feel you cumming inside my filthy ‘lil hole… Want you to cream inside me and make a mess… Make me your whore...’

Seokmin grits his teeth as he whimpers into the material clamped with between his lips - he was already close to an orgasm and it hadn’t even been that long.

His hips thrust up as he tightens his grip around his cock - the sounds of his wet, precum slicked palm sliding up and down his shaft mixing in with the audio pouring out from his speakers.

And for once, Seokmin is glad he lives alone.

‘Won’t you cum for me? Give me your hot cum, fill me up until it’s pouring out of my slutty cunt…’

The rest is a blur to Seokmin as he races towards an orgasm; quick flicks of his wrist sending him over the edge as he cums all over his hand and lower abdomen.

Hot rivulets of cum cover his warm skin as he moans and throws his head back against his pillows - cock throbbing in his enclosed fist as he rides out his pleasure.

‘God, she made it seem so easy,’ he thinks, ‘Maybe I won’t be so bad?’

The next night is when Seokmin decides to try it; determination in his eyes when he sets up his mic and makes sure there’s nothing on his profile that’s too specific.

He decides to go by the name ‘Dokyeom’ online - opting to only put a photo of his lips curving up into a smirk as the profile photo in hopes of hiding his real identity.

Seokmin goes as far as to make sure any and all cameras are covered by stickers on the off-set chance something goes wrong and he takes a deep breath before he hovers the cursor over the big red ‘REC’ button.

He’d spent all day working up the courage to finally do it and despite not knowing how well it’d go, he also had received at least four rejection emails earlier in the day which had already put a gloomy cloud over his head.

Fuck it.

There’s a loud click from his computer mouse as he presses the button and his breath hitches as soon as the screen reads ‘I’m Live!’ in bright red text at the top right-hand corner.

He’d named his live stream something simple for now, just a ‘Get to know me ;)’ scrolling along the bottom of the blank window.

But despite the lackluster title, zero followers, and no posting history, he gets a few people in his live stream as the number jumps from zero to three.

user438753: what is this ?

user092128874: whys the screen blank

anonymous87573: hello??

His cheeks bloom into a pale pink - bottom lip quivering as he gulps into the mic.

“Shit, sorry!” Fumbling with his setup, Seokmin’s clammy palms readjust the mic as more people enter his live. “I’m new to this so you’ll have to forgive me…”

user59574: damn ur voice is rly nice tho

anonymous94873: what are you good at, daddy? ;)

b@d_dream: we don’t get a lot of audio only streams on here much anymore so I’m looking forward to what you can do 😏

Seokmin’s blush only intensifies the longer he reads the comments and his only thought is, ‘should I really do this?’ before he panics and ends the live stream right then and there - screaming into his empty bedroom as he rakes his hands through his black and blue hair.

“What the fuck am I doing!?”

He tugs on his hair as he stands up, manic laughter on his lips as he watches the blank screen read ‘Live Ended. 6 viewers, 6 comments.’

“What the fuuuuuuck…” He exhales harshly as he takes a seat back in front of his setup; making sure the mic was off before he simmers in his thoughts.

No, it definitely was not as easy as the woman from the night prior had made it seem at all.

But Seokmin can't help but laugh a little at his situation; why had he even thought it’d be easy when he'd never even done it before anyway?

A notification pops up at the bottom of the screen and tugs Seokmin from his thoughts as he sighs.

‘1 New Follower.’

He clicks on the notification; eyebrows furrowed when he sees the notification and the comment left with the follow.

b@d_dream has followed you!

b@d_dream: that was cute and kind of funny 😂 looking forward to seeing what else you can do if you ever get to it 😊

Seokmin goes headfirst into his desk - a loud thud resounding in his quiet bedroom as he groans out of embarrassment.

Maybe he had to try something else.

#seokmin smut #dk smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seokmin scenarios #seokmin imagines #dokyeom imagines #dokyeom scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen scenarios #dokyeom #seokmin #svt fic #camboy!svt

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galaxietm · 2 years

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alright so. here’s the deal / somewhat major blog update (i guess activity update too??)

tum.blr glitched my drafts (again! second time in a year! lucky me!) so it’s showing that there’s like, 50-60 more drafts there than there actually are (like it said there were 100 things in there earlier when there..... really isn’t near that amount) so i might actually. push up the blog remake to be sooner rather than later. (like, i might push myself to finally get the goo.gle doc stuff finished and organized so this can actually happen, hopefully before the end of the month, january the longest) Like, I know I’ve been taking my time ion this remake because the last year has been a roller coaster- but now may be the time to finally do it.

meanwhile, i’ve gone through and cleaned out all of my drafts. so all replies i’m going to be replying to / keeping will be queued up to come out over the next week or so, with a few exceptions to threads i may have going with @burglarlotus. that also means that i’m going to be adding all of those threads to my rpthrea.dtracker that i’ve recently been revamping (again, with the exceptions of threads i may have with dew since we have a lot; not all threads with dew specifically will be added to this) i may adjust the time of the queue a few times until i settle on one i’m personally satisfied with, so you may see queued posts pop out at inconsistent times at first.

so! after i finish getting all that sorted out with replies to drafts that i’m keeping, i’ll be posting a general starter call that will be open to all mutuals for all muses, including request only. (the only stipulation / condition of this is to specify the muse you’re asking for / about; some muses are far more active than others, so fair warning if you don’t specify. other than that, if not specified, then i’ll go off of what was filled out for you in my interest checklist.) i’m going to aim this at some of my mutuals who i have yet to have a thread with, so i may queue the post up (because hey! i want to write with you guys!) and i plan to continue all of those threads on the new blog.

#;; ‘the nerd speaketh’ ( ooc tag.)#long post //#// anyway i hope this all makes sense??#// i may queue this?? i dont know #// i probably will a few times so that other mutuals / etc may see it #// idk! maybe finally finishing the remake #// will finally get me to snap out of the funk ive been in for the blog!#// anyway i'm still adding to the tracker so threads may not show up right away!!#// at least for the next day or two #// i think my dash died as i typed this so ill probably queue it up #// just to be safe #// anxiety be like 'are u sure'

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becuzpurple · 5 years

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Chapter 25, pt. 3 - My Everything

Turns out that even though Tumblr ate my queued draft, it still posted at the right time - yay!

Also...trigger warning for brief mention of multiple pregnancy losses.

I hope you all enjoy!

(previously... ch. 25, pt. 2 - Bailey’s & Ice Cream)

It was nearly 11pm when I heard his soft knock at the front door. I took a breath to steady my nerves, then hurried over to let him in. Once the door was open and I saw him nothing else mattered, and we were at once in each other’s arms.

“I’m so sorry, Ed, I- .”

“ -shhhh. It’s ok.”

“No, I was awful...the things I said, and then I just left...?”

“It’s OK, you were upset and needed some time.”

I shook my head. How could he be so kind after what I did?

We stepped apart but I didn’t let his hand go, needing his touch as reassurance. He somehow knew and gave a squeeze as we moved into the living room.

“The kids are at my parents’ for the night.”

“Ok.”

We sat on the sofa, turned toward each other. He had a leg tucked under the other, as he often does. I kept a toss pillow on my lap, on which our hands were still clasped.

“I’ve made a mess of everything. Ed, I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, I should’ve...I told you I’d be there for you when things get rough, but I didn’t do that, and I’m sorry.”

“I blindsided you,” I shook my head. “You have every right to be upset.”

“I didn’t come through for you, love. I won’t let that happen again, I promise.”

How do I even deserve him?

“You’re really too good to me.”

“Nooo,” he murmured, squeezing my hand. We shared a look before coming even closer together. I needed to touch him, to feel him - a physical sign of reassurance, I suppose, and it appeared that he did, too. I laid my head on his shoulder while he rested his free hand on my knee. We sat together like that, tentative and hopeful, until Ed finally broke the ice.

“Hey,” he murmured, his voice soft and soothingly low. “I…can I ask you something?” We both were hesitant to disturb our fragile peace, but things needed to be said.

I lifted my head and met his eyes, nodding.

“Do I...does being with me bring more stress to your life? Because that’s the last thing I wan -”

“ - no! You...you’ve brought happiness back to me. I feel loved, and I’m in love, and it’s...it’s so good. Ed, I’m really, really happy with you.”

He was quiet for a few seconds, studying me, so many questions evident in his eyes.

“That’s good...I feel that way, too. But, you’re so unhappy tonight, and I don’t understand why.”

“It’s...it’s all me. I think, well, remember when I told you about...my anxiety?”

“Yeah. I was wondering if that was it.”

I nodded. “It was...pretty bad today. When it gets like this I tend to hyper-focus on...something until it’s huge in my mind - like, way out of proportion. I don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s seriously out of control - like tonight. And then I panic and just...want to disappear, or want everything else to disappear, so that feeling will go away. I think that’s why I was like that, like telling you you’d be better off with someone else, and when I just...left. I was trying to make everything just go away. God, I’m so sorry, Ed.”

I covered my face with my hands, completely appalled at myself.

“I’m trying to understand...? You wanted me to go away? Like, how? Like breaking up? Is that why you said I should be with someone else?”

“I - I don’t really want that, I swear. I was panicking and saying anything to try and make that feeling - that fear - go away. It was my stupid brain being a bitch and I didn’t mean any of it. Please believe me.”

“I do, I believe you. I know you, and I...whatever that was, I knew it couldn’t be right. I promise I believe you.”

“OK,” I nodded. I felt like such a piece of shit.

But, love, what has you so upset?”

I took a breath while trying to sort out my thoughts. Ed remained the picture of patience with me.

“You...you’ve become very important to me. You’re my everything.”

He gave a hint of a smile, then, and very slightly nodded and squeezed my hand, still in his, showing me he knew exactly what I was feeling.

“I never thought I’d feel like this again.”

“But, you’re worrying about something.”

“I’m probably being irrational or paranoid or something, I don’t know. But, since Jason died...I’m really, really freaked out about losing anyone else who’s important to me...including you, now.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Kate.”

“But how do you know? Anything can happen, right? We could break up, or what if something...bad happens to one of us?”

He held my face in his hands, fingers splayed out and thumbs tenderly brushing my cheeks. “Sweetheart, you’ve been through something really horrible, and I can’t imagine how hard that must have been...and still is. I get why you have this fear, now. You’ve seen first-hand how tragedy is so...random.”

I nodded, glad he seemed to get it, but also pretty sure I was about to hear a counterargument.

He affectionately combed his fingers back though my hair a few times, and then rested his forearms over my shoulders so that we were face-to-face, quite close. “I don’t mean for this to come across as insensitive at all, but...we’re all gonna go someday. And knowing that, wouldn’t you rather live your best life than hold back?”

“What do you mean?”

“OK. Umm, do you ever regret marrying Jason?”

What? “No.”

“Of course not. The fact that he’s gone now doesn’t make you wish you’d never married him, right? You had a good life together...a beautiful family. And in the same vein, worrying about losing...me, or anyone you have a relationship with shouldn’t stop you from keeping that relationship. That would lead to a lot of hurt and regret, I think.”

He was right, and I knew that, logically. But a part of me was trying to protect myself from reliving the pain of the worst loss I’d ever experienced. I didn’t think I could endure something like that again, and I was really scared that once he was aware of my pregnancy issues, then it was only a matter of time before I’d be headed that way again.

Still, he needed to know.

“You’re right, and I do know that, but part of me is...pretty terrified.”

He shook his head, obviously trying and failing to understand. “Why?”

Taking his hands again, I mustered up the nerve to tell him. “Earlier tonight you said that you want it all...with me - a family, and children, and - ”

“ - Yeah, I...I shouldn’t have dropped that on you like that, both of us being so upset. I guess I was kinda panicking, too, though, and it just - ”

“ - it’s...no, I know - I know, it’s ok, I - I get it. But you...did you mean it?”

He took a breath through his nose, not breaking eye contact with me, and gave my hands a squeeze. “Yeah.”

I was so afraid he’d change his mind after hearing me out, yet my heart still swelled, because god knows, I wanted that, too. He smiled at me then, albeit a bit nervously, and how could I not smile back?

“I...I know I did it completely the wrong fucking way, and it’s probably too soon, too, but I - ”

“ - Ed. I’ve been thinking about those things, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I worried that it’s too soon, too, so I didn’t say anything. But, I probably should have, because it might have saved me from my damn anxiety-brain. But, no, instead, I just worried more, and then assumed things, and everything built up, and got worse, and...god, I feel so so stupid.”

“Kate.” He murmured, shaking his head. “Nothing about you is stupid - please stop saying that.”

“OK,” I nodded.

“Good. And this is good, though, yeah? We both want the same thing?”

“Yeah, but…”

“No, no ‘buts’...”

I took a steadying breath. “I’m sure my perspective is completely...fucked up, so I need you to tell me if it’s a real ‘but’ or not.”

He kind of half-heartedly huffed out a small, uncertain laugh. “Alright.”

I didn’t know how to start, and shook my head in frustration. “Sorry. OK, umm, yeah. So, you mentioned that one of the things you saw in our future was children...babies. Our babies.”

“Umm, yea…?” His eyebrows shot up then. I saw surprise, and then the question in his eyes.

“Ohhh, no. No honey, I’m...I’m not pregnant.”

“Ahhh, ok.” He made a small, self-conscious laugh. “When you said ‘babies’, and seemed kinda...nervous, I thought maybe…”

“I know, but...no. I’m sorry, no.” Damn. Am I sorry for inadvertently misleading him or for not being pregnant? Both? Jesus...

“What I’m trying to say - and doing a terrible job of it - is that...well, that’s something that might not be very easy for me - having more babies.”

He was quiet, his face etched with uncertainty.

“I haven’t told you any of this yet, but, I have a history of fertility...problems. We - Jason and I, we - you know, we wanted more kids. It’s weird, because I didn’t really have any trouble getting pregnant with the twins, so we assumed it would be just as easy as it was then.” I frowned, feeling that familiar heartache and frustration all over again.

“But, it wasn’t.”

“No. We tried on-and-off for...like, god, almost 6 years? I...well, I actually did get pregnant a few times, but I miscarried them pretty early on.”

“How...how many times?”

“Three.”

“Oh, god, love. I had no idea...I’m sorry.”

“Thanks...yeah. I needed a lot of help getting pregnant, but then, even when I did…” I shook my head. “We saw specialists, did all the testing…and they couldn’t find a reason for any of it. ‘Unexplained infertility’, ‘unexplained pregnancy loss’. I...well, so...I think you should know all of this before you make any big...life decisions.”

He brought his fingers to his mouth and started slowly shaking his head. “No, wait,” he murmured. “Are you...do you think I wouldn’t want to be with you because of this? Is this what...oh god, is this why you said I’d be better off with someone else?”

“I know how you feel about having a family, Ed, and now we’re...starting to see this as being a very permanent kind of relationship. What if I can’t have any more kids? I’d hate to do that to you.”

“Whoa, wait, hold on.” He shook his head adamantly. “How...that’s not doing anything to - fuck, love, you think...like I’d blame you?”

“I don’t know...I guess I’d blame me. I just know how important family is to you, and I wouldn’t ever want you to...miss out on that because of me? Or...change your mind about us down the road because of it?”

“No...how could...I’d never do that!”

“But you want kids.”

“Yeah...but I...Jesus...” He rubbed a hand through his beard, visibly disturbed. “I’m not with you for the purpose of having children. I - I love you and want us to spend our lives together, and that is not dependent upon whether we have babies or not.”

I started to reply - about to question him on how he’d feel if he never had any children, but he cut me off before I could begin.

“- wait.” He fervently waved his hands in order to stop me. “You’re only focusing on what you think I want. But, this isn’t just up to me, right? You - you get a pretty big say, considering that you’re half of us and it’s your uterus.”

Good points...

“For all I know, maybe you don’t want more kids. Maybe you feel like you’ve already been there, done that.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I don’t feel like that at all, I just don’t know if I ca-”

“- stop. Let’s not focus on the ‘maybes’ right now, OK? I want you - you’re the one. But what do you want, Kate?”

I closed my mouth then, realizing that I’d started to fall right back into listening to that unhealthy anxiety-monologue, focusing on the negative, and not on what was actually right in front of me.

“I’m sorry, I - ”

He shook his head slightly, watching me with a small smile. “Stop apologizing, you’re amazing. But tell me what you want.”

What I want. I knew, but I was still hesitant to say it without a qualifier - an excuse or a way out for him, just-in-case. Which I knew was ridiculous, since he’d already basically said he wanted the same thing. Finally, with a very nervous smile, I just said it.

“I want...you - I want us. And, if possible, I’d love to add...to us”.

There were a few beats of silence as we stared at each other, and then he let out a barely-audible breath - he’d been holding it. I’d been holding mine, too.

“Then we both want the same things.” He practically whispered it, and then we shared an OMFG-grin for a few seconds.

“This is...wow?”

“Kinda crazy, yeah?”

“Do you think it’s...is it too soon for all of this?”

“It’s kinda how we do things though, innit? Seems to work for us.”

“Yeah.”

Without warning I found myself wiping tears from my eyes.

“No, don’t cry, sweet girl.” He cupped my face in both hands again, gently brushing his thumbs across my wet cheeks. “I love you.” He pulled us together and kissed me so gently, almost reverently, on the mouth. When it ended I could see that he was pretty emotional, too.

“I love you,” I whispered back, and returned his soft kiss with one of my own.

He exhaled again, much more loudly this time, looking elated, relieved, overwhelmed, and exhausted all at the same time.

“It’s late. You probably have a lot to do before your flight tomorrow...er, today, I guess.”

“Oh! No, I forgot to tell you - I canceled it.”

“Your flight?”

“Yeah. After you left earlier I...well, I didn’t want to leave without fixing this.”

“Ohhh, hon, thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing - this is where I belong right now.”

“OK.” I started fiddling with his hand in mine, sliding my fingers between his, lightly tracing each one with the tips of my own. “When do you go back?”

“Dunno, I didn’t reschedule it, yet. I figure we’ll work that out later.”

“But you have a lot going on at home, though…?”

“It’s fine, nothing was set in stone.” He captured my roaming fingers in both of his hands, brought them to his lips and peppered them with the sweetest, softest kisses.

With my other hand I tenderly combed through the copper curls at the back of his neck, eventually guiding those beautiful lips back to mine and whispered, “Stay tonight.”

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likes, reblogs & feedback are LOVE!

There will be a pt 4. :-)

#becausepurple #becuzpurple #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fic #ed sheeran fan fic #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran mature fanfic #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #ch 25 pt 3 #My Everything #they finally have the talk #pls leave feedback!

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xukunstellation · 6 years

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📣📒 : 1K followers! 🌟 + Update

Hi hello I hope you all haven't forgotten about me (and if you have, I'm sorry kskskksj). This post is also going to be pretty long, so heads up!

I've been gone from Tumblr for about a full week since KCON (which was the best two days of my life btw). I planned on being back a lot sooner but couldn't because of personal issues, so I deleted the tumblr app. Today I finally came back and I'm having a bunch of mixed emotions and a ton of notifs (99+ rip me).

Bad news first. My queued posts???? were never queued???? and were just sitting in my drafts this whole time??? *tries not to scream* I'm queuing them again so new posts should trickle out over the course of the week. I'm really sorry for everyone who was expecting new content that never came like promised 😭 I also have soooo many notifs so I'm slowly trying to get through them all even though I'm hella late for a lot of them, oof.

Good news? I checked my stats and I've hit over 1k followers for this blog! I can seriously cry right now. Today is actually my birthday and this is probably one of the best gifts I could ever ask for. I still can't wrap my mind around this.

This blog has been a great source of happiness and stress relief during the past few months. I've met so many amazing people here, which includes all of my mutuals, followers, and basically everyone who reads my works and supports me. I've never been confident in a lot of things in my life, but thanks to this blog and seeing how some of you have been touched my what I write, I feel really good about myself as far as my writing goes. It blows my mind that there are over 1000 of you and I'm eternally grateful.

I want to thank each and every one of you for showing love to this blog. Without you, I would have never achieved this. I love you all so so so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have a lot of honorable mentions I'd like to show love to and would like to write entire essays for each and every one of them and thank them one way or another, but this post will go on forever, so here we go! This is in no particular order because I love all of these lovely beings to death 💕

@abziyi @whu-zhengting @huangkinghao @evanismyking @yanjuniverse @ilynong @august-angel0802 @04-naridx @dudettele @baobei-xiaogui @ziyistory @tolwenjun @xukuntology @qinfour @scriptura-adrepticius @you-can-call-me-mango @blushzhengting @yanderehetalialand @randomkpopthings @byunpupss @ipenthusiast @alpxcamin @dahyunmingyu @theunicornotaku @caixukun-9 @caixukunkun + every ip content creator tbh

ngl all of that tagging and looking through my notifs and messages took me half an hour, oof save me pls

Again, thank you for all of the love and support! I'll do my best to keep this blog going and giving you the content you all deserve 💕

#it took me almost two hours to write this post #im really emotional #coming back to this blog and all of you makes me happier than it being my birthday today lol #sending you all my love #💕💕💕💕💕#mutuals 💕#follower milestone #admin post

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creideamhgradochas · 6 years

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Thanks to the lovely @marvelatmytrash for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Bee, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I think I had just turned 22, I was fresh out of undergrad and wanted a way to keep my writing and editing skills sharp while I job hunted.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I think I’ve only written reader inserts. I usually leave their physical attributes nondescript but I definitely create intense personalities to all my reader inserts. I think I do this because I want my readers to imagine themselves as these strong, kickass females, who are also vulnerable, but have weak spots, the same way all of us do. I put a lot of effort into creating strong female characters that still have flaws, no Mary Sues for me!

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I love writing Marvel. I pretty much only write Marvel, predominantly Canon because I have so much comic book knowledge, plus I love writing fight scenes.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

Oh lord, probably Compensation and Consequences, its just a small little one shot that I did as a request but its a Game of Thrones AU. It definitely has some problematic choices in it, I totally shoe horned the sex and attraction into it. Overall it’s just trash.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

I always find myself writing at 1am or onwards. A lot of the time I’ll just knuckle down around 1am and do what I call a writing sprint, where I’ll write all the new parts for whatever stories I’m working on and get them all done in one night, then edit the next day and start queuing them up.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

This is so embarrassing but I get most inspired by listening to musical soundtracks. There are a couple of my stories that have direct song quotes from Waitress and Heathers. Musicals are so rich and overdramatic, they have always been a big part of my emotional development. So whenever inspiration strikes I have a whole playlist of angst songs or love songs from various musicals that I just play in the background on repeat and I will shamelessly pull lines directly from them.

7) In your Divided series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Ooo that’s such a tough one, honestly that whole series is just one of my absolute favorites. But if I had to choose, I think the chase scene in Bucharest. It’s so dynamic and there is so much happening and I honestly watched that scene frame by frame for a week and worked this original character into it step by step.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I’ve never changed the story itself. A couple times I’ve changed the formatting at peoples suggestions. I didn’t chunk my paragraphs well when I first started, but someone suggested I break it up more so I did. It’s little changes like that, but I would never change what I write because someone dislikes it. My writing is for me, I’m just sharing it with others for fun.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky. Absolutely Bucky. Though I am warming up to Steve. He has such dimension to him, he’s been a favorite of mine ever since I started reading comic books. His story is so sad and in-depth and there has always been room for new details and development in every reboot. He’s such a dynamic character and that makes him such a treat to write.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Hahaha I guess Thor, but I actively avoid writing him cause his tone is so hard to get right without over doing it, so I’m not sure if he counts. Tony is tough too, cause you want to be quippy and clever without being over the top, and that’s a very fine line.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Divided series?

I am a big fan of one word titles, maybe I am just on the Disney train with Tangled, Brave, Frozen, etc. I love it when one word can encapsulate what the series is about and also when the word has more weight than just it’s basic meaning. Aftershocks, my first series, is a good example of this. The main character has suffered from shock torture and has a lot of scars and residual issues from it, but Aftershocks is also a psych term sometimes used to refer to the radiating effects of PTSD on the victim and those around them. Divided was the same way, it encapsulated both the theme of Civil War which is the changing and division of Tony and Steve’s relationship and also shows how Bucky and Steve, though still perceived as a unit are Divided now by not only their different experiences but their competition for the same woman.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Divided series?

I’m honestly not entirely sure. I had this basic idea of working a reader into Bucky’s story in Civil War, but the original plan didn’t have Steve involved at all and definitely wasn’t on the level that Divided eventually became. Once I decided that the reader would start with Steve, it immediately raised the stakes of the whole story and this character of The Scorpion began to take shape. After that, the whole thing got pretty easy, she was a fully formed character and a lot of what happened in Divided was just me asking myself what choices this character would make and how the surrounding characters would honestly respond. I try really hard to just develop my characters thoroughly and then let them make honest choices, I think that’s the best way to keep a story real and authentic.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh yes, my hidden shame, and it haunts me. It’s called Royal Flush, and it currently has 3 parts. It’s a T’Challa fic and a lot of people have found it and liked it and I feel so guilty that it hasn’t gone anywhere in a year. Honestly, this mess up is totally on me. I never draft out my stories, and I know I should, I usually just make it up as I got along and sometimes I just hit a blockade with where it’s going to go. I definitely want to finish that fic, but just have no idea how, so if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, throw them my way!

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’m going to say Divided, just because it is one of my favorites and I so deeply love Scorpion as a character. Her struggle in Divided was so hard and I hate to leave her there just heartbroken. I have drafted a couple followups for that story, but after how Infinity War ended, I feel like it would just be cruel to put her through losing Bucky all over again.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I am happy to say that there are none that I would do differently. I’m extremely content in how they all ended.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

I mean first and foremost, I have to talk about @imhereforbvcky, she was my first real friend on here. We started talking when I was writing Aftershocks and I eventually convinced her to take a crack at writing herself and she finally did and wrote this incredible fic, I’ll Be Good. It honestly is so amazing! Mee specializes in the fem fatale, she writes these incredible badasses that are all dark and twisty, I honestly don’t know how she makes violence so elegant, but she does.

@denialanderror is another one, her Melodies series is so perfect and lovely, she gets this beautiful vulnerability to Bucky that just attacks my heart. It’s such a wonderful change of pace from the way that I write and I always reread it whenever I need to be reminded of the soft parts in his personhood. I honestly love it so much and recommend it to everyone. Plus she is an amazing friend and such a fun person to send memes back and forth with.

Finally @bitsandbobsandstuff just full on destroyed me as a person with Safe With Me. That story honestly puts everything I’ve ever written to shame, her deep understanding of Bucky as a character is just like nothing else I’ve ever read. It’s such an in-depth story with an incredible slow burn, if you haven’t read it yet, you are missing out.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I cringe a little bit with Aftershocks, my first series, but I also see a lot of value in it. Whenever I get stuck or think my writing isn’t good enough, I reread it and remind myself how far I have come as a writer, and that always helps to get me back on track.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

Both, sometimes I just have the same song playing on repeat in the background, other times I need complete silence cause the monologue in my head is flowing so quickly. I definitely edit in silence, I cannot hear my tone or catch my mistakes when rereading if I don’t have silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Hahaha I have, I cried while writing a couple parts of Divided, that story is very close to my heart cause the love triangle in it is unfortunately something that happened to me, and I accidentally hurt someone I cared for a lot.

20) Which part of your Divided series fic was the hardest to write?

Hahaha probably the one or two sex scenes I snuck into it hahaha. It was just not a story that really leant itself to smut. Like you’re not going to be running for your life, camping out with fellow teammates and just quietly have a fuck in the dirt. So squeezing those sex scenes in there always felt a bit funny to me, but I think in the long run they both fit and were put in at appropriate times.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I probably should make an outline but I always just go with the flow, I honestly have no idea where my stories are going till they get there. But I do reread my story whenever I get stuck so that way I can tie things back in or close up lose ends.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

To breakup my paragraphs and use the keep reading button hahaha

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

I am currently feeling that way about a story I just started called Siren’s Soldier, so I paused it for a little bit to see if it was worth continuing but it recently got a bunch of love while I was in Italy so it might be time to come back to it.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Nothing that I’ve written to be honest. There are a couple of exceptionally problematic stories that have an absurd amount of notes and that bums me out, just because I don’t like seeing those kind of relationships idolized or modeled. To clarify, the issue I have is that these kind of stories have a lot of gas lighting, self harm, non consensual sex, and sometimes even violent relationship dynamics. I work very hard to make sure that my characters model healthy relationship habits and positive communication because we need to stop romanticizing rape and abuse in relationships, so it bugs me when fics that do that are popular.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I model my readers off of specific parts on my own personality. I essentially take one side of myself and just exacerbate it into a whole character. I am a very independent person and a feminist myself so a lot of my female characters have those similar qualities of independence and confidence. Especially when doing reader inserts, you want to make the character someone that you yourself want to be, your alter ego, someone to escape to. That’s why I’ll let my characters, be selfish or shitty communicators but I’ll never let them get down on themselves, we do enough of that in our real lives, lets not do it in our fantasy lives.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Hmmm this is a hard one, @imhereforbvcky sent me a very disarming compliment the other day that totally moved me to tears. But most of the ones that really hit me are when people recognize the amount of effort that goes into everything, or when they message me to talk about my story and see all the little easter eggs I’ve tossed into the early chapters. I also live for every reblog you’ve ever done, they always make me feel so loved and valued, I’ve honestly have gone back and reread your reblogs when I’m feeling down on my writing and they always pick me back up. It takes a lot of time to create a world and characters and tie everything together in one neat story and having that recognized always makes my heart sing!

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten a lot of harsh criticism, I’ve gotten bullshit anonymous messages that are just mean, but no real criticism. I’ve gotten constructive criticism but a lot of that has been kind and helpful so I don’t take that personally at all.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

@imhereforbvcky and @denialanderror and I have a group chat on instagram so whenever I’m particularly jazzed about something I drop the premise into that chat and get their feedback but most of my big twists or turns I keep close to my chest so that way they can be a surprise to everyone.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction? In my real life?

Some people. My best friend knows but she’s never read it. My boyfriend knows and sometimes reads the smut I write and will use it against me in bed. He frequently likes to quote some of my own lines to me, he thinks its funny, I don’t find it as amusing. But he is a lot of my inspiration for writing positive relationship dynamics, we work really hard at having a healthy, communicative relationship and that manifests in my writing frequently.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

I really like Om, this character I wrote for Siren’s Soldier, they are non binary and do not have a set gender identity so that was fun to play with and extrapolate on, especially because their non-binary personality had a lot to do with their power so that was really cool to explore to explore.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

I generally get really excited when things are free flowing so I guess I spur myself on. I take a lot of joy and pleasure in the things I write and feel my stomach twist when I’m writing suspenseful parts, so a lot of it is just my own enjoyment.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

I’m a sucker for the slow burn, so I love writing the enemies become lovers trope. Usually I don’t actually start them as real enemies, but they never start close or as friends. I’m not a big fan of the falling in love with my best friend trope, as I have a bunch of guy friends that I have never once had an urge to fall in love with haha.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh god, I honestly can’t. I wish I could. I didn’t start reading fanfic until after Civil War came out and I graduated from college. I remember being in a place where I was just disenchanted with porn but I was super into marvel so I went looking for marvel smut on the internet and found the Bucky smut rabbit hole. I remember reading a lot of different stories and never finding exactly what I wanted and also finding a lot of problematic sexual relationships. At that time I was working as a sex education teacher and I remember thinking that I could write better smut with healthier relationship dynamics, and I did. That’s how it all started.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Ooooh blimey, this is impossible because I write a combination of all three most times. I guess I would have to say angst, causing it doesn’t get boring so easily. There are so many angst tropes to explore and play with. So yes, definitely angst.

#milestone celebration #ask the author #marvelatmytrash

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