#i havent even watched the second half of last ep lmao

[bravest-notts]

i was about to preemptively post that i probably wasn't gonna be watching tomorrow's episode when i remembered it's a fake thursday anyway 😔

#not cr #i havent even watched the second half of last ep lmao #i might tomorrow tho #we will see where my attention span is #i won't be on the Good Shit (oxy) (...i had surgery) by then so it will at least be a step up lmao

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

#mlb #opinions my guy opinions #i dont wanna tag this as salt #but mlb criticisms and analyses #IHTMO #the hashtag for this series #thomas astruc #miraculous fandom #miraculous ladybug #miraculous: tales of ladybug and cat noir #yes the government name again #come get yall juice #miraculous

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

#dp thoughts #danny phantom #sanchoyorambles

[madisonrooney]

um thoughts

for the record i dont post about this show a lot but i started watching it last year and it became a low-key special interest of mine

mainly bc of jessica and trish’s relationship bc you know how i get attached to female friendships and :))))) well :))))))))

guess i shouldve seen that coming but like DAMN I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO GO LIKE. THAT. WITH TRISH TRYING TO KILL JESSICA?????

and i mean....jessica did what she did cuz deep down she loves her but like.

may i remind you that this is the only show not “made for kids” (i dont wanna say disney cuz not EVERYTHING else ive watched is disney but you know what i mean) ive watched in full not to mention got VERY EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN so....yah im not used to being broken like this.

why marvel tv gotta fuck me up like that huh??? first they kill my wife now they break up my brotp in the worst possible way???

i dont know how to feel overall about the season tbh. i LOVED s1. and i really liked s2 but the ending fucked me up a little. i could keep up with trish’s craziness for some time bc up until like the second to last ep jessica was still all in for but. then that happened. i didnt really like this seasons overall plot as much. s1 we had kilgrave who was awesome. s2 we had jess’ mom which i thought was neat. but sallinger seemed pretty random to me? i wasnt as hyped to binge it as i was with s2. i was tonight but not last night. the first half did kinda drag. 

ive only watched clips of the defenders (i plan to watch it at some point) and i havent watched any of the other marvel netflix shows so correct me if im wrong but i felt like the luke cage cameo was very random and unnecessary? they were like hey lets just throw him in so people can see him one last time? idk maybe im not one to talk on that

i will hand it to them tho that i was glad there was a little kilgrave content at the very end

i just UGH remember how chill and fun jess and trish were in s1!!! and in the defenders they just like chill and get coffee together!!! why did it have to get so dark like this!

again im not used to watching shows like this

bottom line it never hurts to get a new hyperfixation even if it hurts like this lmao. it wasnt like my TOP top so it only hurts so much. last summer was really dull so i needed something to fill the void and im glad i had it.

but ANYWAY im relieved that p much everything else i enjoy has happy endings and such and am excited to go back to that now :))))))

#jessica jones lb #jessica jones

[kathillards]

misc morphicon stories

ok so i feel like i’ve talked FOREVER about all the wild shit that happened to us at morphicon (running into rangers at the car valet!! meeting chip lynn!! azim calling us his favorite ladies at the con!!) but i wanted to make a write up for all the stuff i haven’t talked about yet because i have to remember all this and i want you all to experience it too!! it was so fun oh my god if you haven’t been to morphicon... start making plans for 2020 guys it is legit INSANE best weekend of my entire LIFE

- ann marie crouch is AN ACTUAL PRINCESS SENT FROM HEAVEN we ran into her on our way back to the hotel one of the days and we were like omg it’s princess shayla we love you!! and she was so sweet and stopped and talked to us even though she was on her way out for a nap and she was in full shayla gear she looked so pretty! and we saw her on the way back too she had changed into casual clothes but still rocking it WE LOVE ONE MENTOR ONLY

- jessica rey is so funny and adorable omg we stopped by her booth to buy wild force pins (kat and abbey) bc the wf rangers come PREPARED w/ merch and nobody was there so we all just started talking to her and told her how we loved wild force and alyssa and abbey said she loved the ep where alyssa beat up the boys and she’s so cute and fun to talk to!! she told us about the shades of pink panel and i was like “is alyssa a pink or a white ranger” and she was like “lol i dont even know” also she had her handler take a staged candid of us talking to her because she loved us lmao. and then we were talking about white rangers and all of us were like “fuck tommy lives we stan alyssa only” and she laughed and immediately started telling us about what a dick jdf had been to fans the day before lmao (also for real...he’s a dick) and i was like YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR WHITE TIGER RANGER god shes so cool she loved us and didnt wanna stop talking but we had to move away cuz ppl were lining up for her behind us rip

- RICHARD AND ANGIE oh my god ok so i’d stopped and talked to angie on the first day and also the second day and i told her i’d come back later bc i wanted a photo w/ BOTH OF THEM and i did tell her how much i loved madison and vida like we are ROCCA SISTER STANS FIRST PEOPLE SECOND and shes so cute and she remembered us every time!! and then on the third day i finally got to talk to richard and he’s so sweet we talked about mystic force just at his booth for like ten minutes waiting for angie for the photo op, he asked us our fave episodes and i said dark wish and he actually remembered it so i think he might be the only actor at the con who watched his season. and we told him we loved the mystic force theme song AND HE STARTED SINGING IT. and someone had left him a green zeo figurine for...some reason and he told us “i dont even fucking know who that is” (but nicer lol he is very charming and polite) and we told him it was adam/johnny and he was like ohhhh lmao i love disney era actors not knowing SHIT about saban era. like he literally worked with johnny. i love him. AND THEN HE ASKED US ALL TO BE IN THE PHOTO and since kat paid for half of it we were like aight its a group thing and its the cutest photo i love disney era actors only

- i think i talked about meeting dwayne cameron already but god hes so sweet and i felt bad for him bc caitlin next to him had ppl she was talking to but he was all alone so me and abbey just went up and started talking to him and i told him i loved overdrive and i told him i recognized him as ethan’s bully and we talked about tyzonn and vella and just overdrive in general and hes so SWEET and he HUGGED ME SO TIGHT GOD i think he really enjoyed us like. actually loving overdrive and being able to talk about it. AND HE RAN INTO ABBEY IN CARS LAND AT DISNEY ON MONDAY AND GAVE HER ANOTHER HUG hes so cute (angie was also there with him I LOVE DISNEY ERA SOLIDARITY)

- met monica may and cerina vincent on saturday, not a lot to say bc i only talked to them a bit and took my photos but they are both so beautiful and elegant and classy and i told cerina i loved her in stuck in the middle :’) ranger ladies are so intimidatingly pretty god. also picked up this huge LEGIT spd poster and im gonna put it up in my room as soon as i can because oh my god its professional quality it looks so cool. we also talked to greg aronowitz bc kat wanted her poster signed and hes so cool we told him how much we appreciated everything he did for spd AND THAT WE WERE ON HIS SIDE ABOUT FEMALE RED FUCK DISNEY.

- god what else uhh we wandered around the toys section a lot on saturday/sunday bc we’d kinda. seen everyone. and there were a lot of panels on sunday so nobody was at the booths. i picked up those amazing rider/sentai prints from ceevee SUPER TALENTED SO WORTH IT. also got me a meteor storm figuart B) which i havent taken out of the box yet but i will

- HECTOR AT THE CAR VALET he literally announced he would be at morphicon the day before and then we saw him while waiting for our car and SCREAMED and he was so chill and cool and he came over and hugged us all hes so hot. AND THEN LATER WE RAN INTO SELWYN WARD AT THE CAR VALET and he also laughed when we squealed and came over and hugged us all and guys he smelled soooo nice i was like right up against him i could have died hes so handsome and perfect.

- we also ran into steve cardenas at the car valet like right when we were all leaving the hotel for the last time and we told him that we loved him and i said i was so excited that it was rocky coming back for the anniversary instead of fucking jason and abbey was like “justice for forever red!” and he was like hah i know right anyway every single actor in this franchise hates jdf lmao that was just the vibe of morphicon and it was valid

- fun fact we did not see jdf ONCE. not going to the con, not at the hotel, not ANYWHERE. just his crazy lines. he was like the douchebag cryptid. im glad tho he can stay that way.

- i talked about meeting andre on saturday night right??? hes so SWEET I LOVE HIM he was so happy when ben gave him his fanart of eddie and took a selfie w/ ben right then and there and also took a pic w/ me and abbey ugh i love him i told him he was so valid for being a power rangers youtuber and liking megaforce AND THAT HE’S THE BEST INTERVIEWER THEY’VE EVER HAD (i also told azim this, i’m very passionate about this subject, every other ranger interviewer sucks ASS)

- jason faunt at the elevators!! hes so sweet i told him how excited i was for the anniversary and he said yeah theres a lot more plot going on and told me to take a selfie bc they couldnt stop him here fhjggd i love that pic i love him AND THEN ALSO later we ran into NAKIA IN AN ELEVATOR AND SHES SO SWEET I SAID “WE LOVE YOU WE WATCHED ALL OF ZEO FOR YOU” and she was like aww thank you so much!! a literal goddess AND THEN LATER AS WE WERE CHECKING OUT karan walked by us to go to nakia and i was so excited i waved and said hi to her and she said “hi baby how are you” SHES SO WONDERFUL I LOVE MY MOTHERS

- i think i told the chris reid story already but like. hes so charming and was so nice even tho i interrupted his express checkout but like. i Had to tell him how valid ninja steel was i was literally like fuck the dudebros they’re so annoying you guys fighting w/ that one guy on twitter over the kcas was the FUNNIEST thing to EVER happen to this fandom and he laughed.

- we also went up to kelson’s booth later and told him how much we loved mick and all his roles!! and talked to him forever about all of them, told him we were kalish/disney era supremacists, told him HOW GOOD HE IS AT VOICE ACTING WE LOVE FLIT AND NORG IN THIS HOUSE he looked so happy :’) i feel like everyone just compliments him on boom which, no offense, but appreciate your voice actors guys. i told him we grew up on disney era and it was like new zealand only had twelve actors and he was five of them and he laughed and was like yeah. i also told him how we loved mick and brody’s father/son relationship and he was like yeah they ended up liking that a lot too which is why they sort of pushed brody’s real dad to the side so mick could shine more and i was like that’s LEGIT. i also told him the prism was brody’s mother and he agreed so that’s canon now. AND I TOLD HIM how fucking dark ninja steel went w/ his storyline literally being about slavery and human trafficking and he was like I KNOW RIGHT and we just talked about how dumb everyone is for being mean to ninja steel and chris showed up at this point too and we all laughed about it together

- ok and then tbh we just spent all of sunday loitering around the megaforce cast but it was worth it because they LOVE US oh my god we talked to them like all sunday about just. everything. azim’s gf jordan was there and she kept telling us to just stick around we talked to her a lot, we asked her about alex heartman and like where tf was he and she said he was working :( BUT AZIM AND ALEX ARE STILL CLOSE so victory. azim also told us a bunch of little stories like how he and the megaforce cast searched for a house to stay in together and ended up finding one at the base of a volcano and he and drew would race around the volcano in the mornings like the crazy people they are, we told him how much we loved andrew’s ACTING SKILLS and “do you see any tears” and he cracked up and said “they used to call me ‘freaky tiki man’ all the time because of that one line” and he told us about other fan encounters and things, we told him on saturday how we all met and became friends because we were the only ppl who loved and defended megaforce and he was SO TOUCHED HES SO SWEET GOD i would die for him. 

- cameron gave us (me and kat) all his money to buy him lunch from the food trucks and i guess just trusted that we loved megaforce so much we wouldn’t just run away with all his money????? and he was absolutely correct we got him teriyaki chicken with garlic noodles and he loved us. his handler also asked us to buy him food and gave us his CREDIT CARD dfhdgfjgdf like power rangers people are wild man. who just gives their credit card to random 20yo girls and just. trusts that they love this children’s show so much they won’t steal it??? i mean they were right and we didn’t but still. AND HE MADE ME AIRDROP one of my megaforce reaction pics to his phone because he loved it so much (it’s the one of jake and emma and orion looking super done, that i had ben redraw for me, so we showed them both pics and all three of them LOVED IT) and cameron even looked ben up on deviantart to see it fdgjkdfdg he loves usss. christina was telling us how they were talking about us at dinner and cameron told her that we were his favorite part of the con :’)) azim also mentioned that they talked about us at dinner because he said to kat “we were discussing that you look like that girl from 10 things i hate about you who was julia stiles’ best friend” LIKE IMAGINE. HAVING THE MEGAFORCE CAST. DISCUSS WHO YOU LOOK LIKE FDJGKDHFJGD they’re so cute ugh and azim and cameron hugged us all goodbye and john mark and christina said goodbye too and i just. love them. so much. 

- at one point cameron asked me and kat how old we were and she was like “twenties...as a group we are in our early twenties” and he was like “.... so old enough to know how a hangover feels right?” and we lost it dfgjfdkdgjh and i said “if i were an actor i would just be stoned the whole con” AND CAMERON JUST NODDED AGGRESSIVELY god the entire cast was definitely hungover and they’re so valid. except christina, we asked her and she said she only had a milkshake so maybe she was their designated driver. 

- andrew is so chill too (i mean i do think he is perpetually high but its fine) i think he just loves talking??? like he’s there for the babies (so many babies!! and they love troy so much!!! hes so adorable with them) and then he just wants to chill like we went up to him on sunday and he was like oh hey did you guys see this picture and he pulled out his phone and showed a pic of the megaforce cast doing a goofy zombie pose at their photo ops and he told us his backstory on each of their zombie poses like. who does this??? he’s so adorable.

- and ofc we stopped by christina again on sunday bc she’s THE FAVE and shes just so cuuute ugh and i told her i loved all asian rangers bc i am asian!! and she was like omg are you?? and i was like yeah i’m south asian and she was like omg so that’s all part of asia too OH I GET IT SO WE’RE BOTH ASIAN and i was like YES AND YOU’RE ALL MY RANGERS and she smiled at me it was like staring at the sun tbh. i love and would die for her.

- when we went to say goodbye to the megaforce cast cameron just looked at all of us standing around his booth and was like, so genuinely, “you guys are the best” and it still makes me cry thinking about it. AND AZIM’S FACE when we all said “megaforce’s defenders never surrender!” to him he had the sweetest smile god i really would take a bullet for the entire megaforce cast in a heartbeat. they are the sweetest angels & deserve the world. if any of you breathe a word wrong about jake holling in my general vicinity ever again i will fry your intestines and eat them for breakfast thank you GOODBYE.

#cameron: hey do you guys wanna go to the cockpit #us: what the fuck is that #cameron: its a gay bar #AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION THAT HAPPENED fghdfgjdfg he was like 'damn y'all were ready to go to a gay bar huh' yeah dude!! #id follow you into battle with only mild complaining!! #earth's defenders never shut up #hell clique takes morphicon #whew that was a lot i may have forgotten things idk but yeah. what a WEEKEND. #might try to post some more pics later...maybe

[saintkimora]

ok……..here is the long awaited post of what happened on saturday night! (Last Saturday night btw not yesterday night) ive been too busy to post about it until now but it is juicy

so as i said on saturday, joel and i were texting on and off that day but it was weird as usual. so after i showered i wrote out a text to him saying that even though we havent been communicating much recently i still miss him and think about him all the time and that i appreciate the chances i do get to talk to him. so i sent this message but literally the second it sent i got a message from him. like we sent our texts at the same time. so i started reading his text and it started with “perry……im really sorry but what we have isnt working out” skafjhkajdhfkjads so i felt like a jolt in my legs and had to sit down. so he sent this long ass breakup text and here are the basic points that he used

he isnt ready for a relationship/exclusivity (even though HE was the one who literally deleted all his dating apps the day after we met bc he wanted to focus on pursuing me)

he hasnt been making the effort and i deserve someone who does

he hasnt been opening up and he is aware of that bc he knows he isnt ready

i deserve someone who is in a better place in their life than he is rn/someone who has their stuff together

i dont deserve what hes putting me through

he wants time to be single and make mistakes and regret them (stupid ass reasoning btw)

he knew using texts was the wrong way to end it but he wasnt strong enough to do it in person

he apologized if i feel like i wasted my time on him/if i regret anything ive done w him (since the last time i saw him before this was when i had sex with him)

hes sorry that he isnt treating me better

not my fault at all

so yeah that was the text! i didnt even read it fully until later on like i skimmed it and called him immediately and asked if we could talk in person (ofc i got all choked up trying to ask and almost started crying over the phone) so he said yes he owes me that much so i grabbed my tissue box, tried to put on my shoes (my mom had to help me bc i was shaking too much) and drove to his apartment and then sprinted to his apartment from where i parked a block away. i got there and his roommates werent home so it was just him. he opened the door and i said hi and he let me in and it was v solemn so we went into his room and sat on his bed and this is where the drama really started

so i was like “can i have a hug” and he was like “yes” so we hugged and i started crying. so we hugged for a while and then we separated and i was like “ok so explain why you want to end this” so he started explaining it to me. i was crying and he was crying too but i was crying more obv! i was like bawling. his eyes were red and tears were falling and he was sniffling but he wasnt like crying hard

so he just explained that he was in a bad place when he met me and he still is in that bad place (in reference to his depression) and how its not me its him and how i deserve someone who puts in the effort and doesnt distance themselves from me and actually has the time to see me and i was annoyed bc caleb did the same thing and i am sick of other guys telling me whats best for me like *vicki from rhoc voice* how do you know whats best for me? and like obv just bc you have depression doesnt mean you dont deserve love, like he said he still liked me and wanted to be with me and how it was breaking his heart to have to do this so i did not want him to end something just bc he felt he didnt deserve me or that he wasnt worthy of my love or anything like that 

so he also explained how he wasnt ready to settle down and i was like sis we arent even officially boyfriends yet, its not like im asking you to marry me and have kids lmfao and he said he wasnt ready for exclusivity so i was like “does that mean you wanna fuck other guys?” and he was like “i dont know” so ????? and he was like “im feeling conflicted” so i was like wtf is going on in here on this day

also i asked if his roommates were home and he said no he was home alone tonight and that was part of why he was feeling so bad and its like sis…..if being alone makes you feel worse then making yourself even more alone by breaking up w me doesnt seem like the best way to fix that! and i told him that i was free tonight and he couldve just invited me over if he was feeling lonely and he was like “i thought you would be busy” like sis literally the only times i am ever busy on saturday nights is when im with him!! lmao

he also said he wasnt opening up bc he couldnt/wasnt ready for it yet, but like i wasnt asking him to open up like all i wanted was for him to put a modicum of effort into our conversations just to show that he cared, like we can just keep doing fun things like im not asking him to get all deep and vulnerable with me (although i would love that too)

so we just had a very emotional time, i was crying my eyes out nonstop and he was lightly crying as well, there was lots of hugging and holding and stuff so like i was really really REALLY losing it like i was so MESSSSSSSSSSYYYY like i was just getting all in my feelings and saying all the things im gonna miss about him and like apologizing for anything i did wrong/apologizing for not being enough for him and like it was really really bad. but i was still also cracking jokes like a dumbass throughout the whole thing lmao bc i like to find the humor in things

i decided to mention that i was originally planning to ask him to be my bf officially on our next date (that plan had changed since he became cold and distant the past week or two but originally i was planning on doing it on the next date after i got back from the retreat) just bc i was being emotional

at one point he was laying on the bed and i was sitting on the edge of it crying (and covering my face bc im an ugly crier even though he’d already seen plenty of footage of me crying at this point) and he held out his arms and was like “come here” and i was like “no” and looked away and he was like “please” like that was very satisfying bc it showed that he needed comforting as well at that moment

at one point i was just laying on my side rolled up in a ball scream crying into my hands now THAT was messy. it was nice though bc joel moved in behind me and tried to hold me and calm me down. speaking of calming down! there were some points where i got like………REALLY bad like i was breathing so hard and fast it was troubling but whenever i had a wave of that joel held me and tried to soothe me and help me breathe

i even offered to have an open relationship if he wanted (bc this was during the exclusivity convo) bc i was just trying to grasp at any straws i could at the moment in the hopes of reaching an agreement or just stalling for time so i could move past his walls and get through to him. in reality i would never even consider it bc it is definitely not for me but at the moment i was desperate. he said no though bc he knows i wouldnt want that and he said he didnt want me to compromise myself for him

so then this is when we reached the turning point. so joel was laying down and i was like half sitting on the bed/half laying on him. and i said something along the lines of “you dont have to go through this alone, i wanna be there for you” and like when i said alone he lost IT! like we had a breakthrough he started bawling just like i was this whole time!! obviously it was hard for me to see him in that state but it was also kinda nice to see how much he cared 

but then he started breathing really fast and he was like “i think im having a panic attack” so i was like uh oh so i was like omg do you want me to get off of you or something but he was like no stay here so i kept holding him and tried to help him ride it out. but then he choked out the words “i think im making the wrong decision” like !!!! i have never felt such a strong feeling of hope in my life! but i was just like its fine dont worry about it just breathe and btw during this event he was laying on his side so he was looking to the side while i was kinda on top of him so i was like at him. so then he turned to look me directly in the face and………………………

he said “I love you!” like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hearing that made me SO so happy so i was like “i love you too!” and we hugged and kissed and then he was like “ask me!!” and i was like “ask you what???” and he was like “ask me what you were gonna ask me before!” and i was like “OH! joel……will you be my boyfriend?” and he was like “YES!” and then we hugged again and laughed and made out and it was really really passionate even though we were both gross with tears and runny noses, like it might have even been the most passionate kissing ive ever had! it was a very emotionally intimate moment and i loved it

so then he was like “im sorry” and i was like dont worry about it lmao so then we just continued cuddling and kissing and stuff for a while. he told me that he knew i loved him back bc during my breakdown i said “i really really really really liked you” and he said he knew i wanted to say i loved you lol

he also said hes gonna try to open up more and put more of an effort in so!! that was nice

so it was hot in his room and we were all sweaty on top of being gross from crying so we showered together which is always fun. and during the shower he was very touchy and he would like press his body against mine and give little kisses on like my chest or my back which i really loved. we also did some sexual stuff too

then we got out and dried off and he finally said he would watch flavor of love with me!! so we watched a few eps and it was super fun. then we cuddled until we fell asleep holding each other which is always one of my fave parts of our dates. he was very affectionate and sweet and i really liked it. then we fell asleep and in the morning i had to go home bc i had work or something

so yeah thats it! it made me really happy that he said i love you (and that he said it to me first!!) and i made sure he knew that he could always ask me for anything he needed if he was feeling down again or something. so now fast forward to today he is back to texting me every day and being an active and engaging texter! and i went over to do homework with him on monday night which was fun! and then on friday night he invited me over at like midnight and we got checkers and then we hung out and cuddled and watched more flavor of love. and then we did some more sexual things which was really fun! he was really really into me again and he literally is the hottest guy ive ever met so i enjoyed getting to make him feel good and stuff

on friday the 13th i am taking the gsa eboard + jami w me to go see the addams family musical at his school since he is part of the pit orchestra so that will be fun! i am very happy to have joel back and i am even happier that we are officially boyfriends now! and its so so so nice to get i love you texts again!! overall i am very happy with how things turned out and i am glad i fought to make it work instead of just seeing the text and being like ok bye

#personal #I'm posting this from mobile but I had it saved as a draft on my computer #so I hope the read more is still on it #if not.....sorry lol

[r-o-se]

Produce 101 Season 2 Ep 7 lit lit lit 92 point running commentary 

hey whats up squad fam id link where I watched it but it was like 4 different sources so I’m sorryyyyy message me and ask for them later

1.      They’re jumping right into it and its BTS Spring Day stage all are pastely beige pink and its cute af this is the youngest group on average and has the small Woojin, Kim Youngjin, Kenta, Seonho and Bae Jinyoung

2.      Younjin wants to be center/main vocal eventho hes originally a rapper and I understannd WHY he wants it but to have a rapper as main vocal is…… not clever

3.      Holy shit he actually gets to be the main vocal wow I’m shook as hell

4.      Seokhoon is making angry eyes at him tho and now Woojin is a shitton better at this checkup and gets to be the new center

5.      He has problems hitting the high note though poor baby

6.      Baejy gets praised by BoA and he gets cute and smiley as fuck its adorableeeeee

7.      SEONHO IS PLAYING PIANO IM PROUD OF MY LIL BABY BIRD

8.      Baby Woojin didn’t fully hit the note but he didn’t fully miss ti either so its okkkk

9.      Kenta got literally 0 personal screentime though mnet fucking hates him this boy is a GEM you could make so much clips out of him but nooooooooo

10.   Seonho made kissy faces at the camera and Guanlin cringed so hard it was beautiful

11.   Seonho got first aaaahahahha it’s the piano and the visuals but can we just remember the fact that the kid is only what 15? 16? He’s fuckin SMALL

12.   Now the next stage is N Sync-Pop aka the group with one dancer and a bunch of other professions since they got filled also………… WOODAM IS HERE IM SO FUCKING EMO POOR KID

13.   They also got Sangbin, Jung Jung, Insoo, Kiwon, Jaechan and Woodam obviously. Jung Jung is the only og dancer there

14.   I’m very sad about Woodam but I wanna see others too like please…… I miss Sangbin and Insoo… Show them too they literally choreographed the whole thing and GOT PRAISED FOR IT…. And their teamwork was called the best they had seen IM SO GLAD

15.   But their team is all very low numbers it makes me really really sad ugh

16.   Their clothes are so 90s I LOVE IT HOW CUTE

17.   They all dance so well especially for a group of people who aren’t actually dancers

18.   SANGBINI IS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FUCK

19.   Junghung unzipped his sweater and flipped around OBVIOUSLY

20.   Everyone are clapping in circles aaahahahahah round of applause LITERALLY

21.   Oh my gooooosh WOODAM HAS ASTHMA POOR BABY KID

22.   If Woodam won’t make it I’m going to riot

23.   SANGBIN IS LAST AGAIN LAST HERE AND LAST IN THE GROUP EVALUATION WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT JUSTICE FOR SANGBIN HES A RANK AND INDIVIDUAL TRAINEE AND AN EXCELLENT RAPPER FUCKING VOTE FOR HIM ASSES

24.   NOW ITS TIME FOR A-TOM, EUIWOONG AND MY PINK RAPPER FLUFF WOO JINYOUNGGGGGGGGG THEY ARE DOING

25.   Ajlahlskadf they asked Jinyoung ‘whos the best’ and hes like ahh everyone are good in their own way and they they asked again from Sanggyun and he’s like ‘I’m the best lol’

26.   Wait is this the stage where Ha Minho was…….. because lmao they really did a good job editing him out I’m dead ‘they can’t edit better evil editing isn’t a thing’ MY GUY THEY DELETED A GUY WHO WON A BATTLE!!  WITHOUT IT EVEN BEBING NOTICED IF WE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS THERE!! GODDAMN

27.   Jinyoung is the centerrrrrrrr love my babe but obvi I’m sad for Sanggyun

28.   Also yall Minho won this battle with an Mnet diss

29.   Sanggyun has problems coming up with lyrics poor babe I hope he’s alright OH NO BABY MESSED UP HIS WORDS TWICE

30.   KAKLKFNAWKNN MINHO IS BLURRED OUT ON STAGE WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

31.    SANGGYUN AND EUIWOONG GOT PRAISEDDDDDDD AND OBVI WOOJY TOO IM SO PROUDDDDD

32.   THEIR STAGE IS SO GOOD THE ENERGY IS SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK THEY ALL ON FIRE AS FUCK

33.   Cheetah is feeling herself big time

34.   Euiwoong looks so much better here than with the BIL team he looked like a fetus there but rn HES FUCKIN AMAZING

35.   Imagine ranking 4th out of 3 people wow that seems like something that would happen to me lmao poor Euiwoong

36.   A group with no first place how tragic

37.   ITS TIMEEEEEE OFR RHYTHM TA  ok but why choose the same song for two years in a row lol

38.   This team is Gwanghyun, Yoojin and Taewoo

39.   Yoojin hated being a leader back in Be Mine days and now he’s stuck again because Gwanghyun and are submissive fucks

40.   GWANGHYUN IS NERVOUS AND WENT TO ASK JINYOUNG FOR HELP THIS IS SO CUTE AND JINYOUNG BABE GAVE HIM ADVICE INSTEAD OF SENDGIN A RIVAL AWAY

41.   This groups teamwork is seriously amazing I love it so much their dynamic is so amazing

42.   Their energy is so good they sereiously seemed to just fuckin get such a high out of being on stage

43.   Poor Baby Yoojin is last, Taewoo is second and Gwanghyun got first poor baby is crying and the others are cheering him up this is so sweet

44.   BoA Amazing kiss is up next with Dongsu, JELLY HEESEOK WHO I HAVENT SEEN IN WEEKS LOVE YOU BABE DO WELL, Seunghyuk and Gunhee. Gunhee is the leader yet they have problems choosing the center

45.   THEIR VOCALS ARE ALL SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK GUNHEE IS AMAZING

46.   Heeseok really wants to be center and is being kind of pushy but in the end Gunhee got the center part too

47.   THEIR HARMONIES ARE SO GOOD

48.   AND VOCALS SO STRONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

49.   Gunhee looks………. So good…….. I cant take it…… with the choker and everything just fuck me upppp

50.   Jahldfhaan gunhee shook his ass on stage while appealing time

51.   Gunhee is bringing up Hyunwoo too goddamn im weakhearted don’t do this to me

52.   Heeseok got last place….. I’m emo as fuck…… fuckin stab me…… My Jellyfish son…. Seunghyuk is third, Dongsu second and Gunheeeeeeeeee is FIRST!!! Proud of my kid

53.   Now its I.O.I Downpour team, Hyunbin, Jisung, Minhyun, Jaehwan and Sungwoon aka ALL THE KIDS I LOVE!!!!

54.   They chose Jisung as leader my babe looks so good with purple hair GOD BLESS

55.   Sungwoon is so pretty godddamnit ‘I’ve heard it often I’m not good enough for main vocal’ I’ll beat up whoever said it

56.   HE IS GIVING UP MAIN VOCAL TO JAEHWAN!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! WHAT AN ANGEL!!!!!!! I’M SHOOK!!!!!

57.   Hyunbin got a lot of hate and I’m very salty over it I love my tall boy very much SAME GOES TO JISUNG!!!! THAT KID HASN’T DONE A SINGLE THING WRONG HE IS SO SWEET AND SO INSPIRING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MMO BETTER FUCKING DEBUT HIM WITH THE MMO SQUAD ONCE ITS DONE!!!!!!

58.   Hyunbin messed up a bit and Jisung comforted him poor lil baby I’m so sorry for my tall child and thank you so much Jisung for taking care of my baby kid

59.   Anyways they asked if they can change and having Jaehwan play guitar instead of having the teachers play piano

60.   Minhyun looks so fine in pastel pink fuck me up

61.   Cut to Baekho and Jonghyun lookin like ‘damn right’

62.    JAEHWANS VOICE DOES THINGS TO ME I DIDN’T EVEN SEE ITS HIM BUT WHEN HIS VOICE STARTED I GOT SHIVERS SAME WITH SUNGWOON I LOVE MY POWER VOCAL CHILDREN

63.   Oh my fucking god everyone in the crowd and the other trainees AND HYUNBIN are all bawling

64.   JAEHWANS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE! FUCKING G O S H THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS BUT I FEEL LIKE CRYING

65.   Sakjfbakjsablkfjn Hyunbin and Jisung are holding hands

66.   Hyunbin is 5th and Jisung takes his hand and comforts him a lot and tells him it’s okay this is too precious and Jisung himself is 4th and Sungwoon third, Minhyun second and JAEHWAN FIRST HE DESERVED IT BEST FUCKING VOCALS IN THIS ENTIRE SHOW IF HE WONT MAKE IT I AM RIOTING!!!!!!

67.   Jinwoo ranked super low in vocals……. I’m so fucking sad when will people learn to appreaciate true talent…..

68.   Gunhees mouth can open so wide its amazing honestly also HE GOT OVERALL VOCAL FIRST PLACE IM SO PROUD!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! BABE!!!!!!!!!! U DESERVED IT U WERE A GREAT CENTER AND LEADER

69.   Now its only the dance teams left starting with Gete Ugly. The subber seems to love him and tbh same bless Danik

70.   Ong is so fuckin funny I love him lmao

71.   It’s Daniels team and he’s like ‘I’m sorry I was a bad leader’ and Ong is like nah fam ALSO FUN FACT REVEALED BY ONG Jonghyun inspired him to be the leader this is so fuckin cuteeeeee

72.   Afnhlna what is going on why are they showing them in the result room before the stage I’m????

73.   This team has all of the alpha bitches like seriously Jihoon, Samuel, Ong, Daniel, Hyungseob are 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th and 6th and then poor baby Park Woojin is 24th.

74.   Awwwwwwwwww the populars are all thinking that Woojin could kill it this is so cute

75.   Danik is the MMO maknae apparently and volunteered and FUCK SUNGWOO JUST SAID JONGHYUN INSPIRED HIM TO BE THE LEADER MY SORRY SORRY AND ONGNIEL HEART CANT TAKE IT

76.   Samuel keeps being eaten up by Jihoon save my boy  those two want center and WOOJIN WANTS TOO!!!!!!! I LOVE WOOJIN!!!!!! PICK HIM!!!!!

77.   AAAAAAHAHAH FUCK SAMUEL JUST SAID THAT HES LIKE A SKINNY DEER NEXT TO JIHOONS TIGER THIS IS THE CUTEST

78.   Jihoon?? Recommended Sameuel now?? FUCK CUTE!!! Poor Woojin tho aw

79.   They are a bit lacking in the dance section though which makes me a bit sad and Danik egets a bit flamed from Kahi since he is the only one who has problems with the choreo

80.   Samuel, Danik and Woojin are all choreographing it but they all have very different styles so it’s a bit hard to learn

81.   Anyways Danik is so cute and he has NICE ASS FUCKIN THIGHS HOLY SHIT  LOOK AT HIM B-BOYING

82.   The whip sound effects are so funny idk why but THEY ARE

83.   Ong and Jihoon are poppingggggggg and its GREATT

84.   Dabbing fuckers I stg

85.   Samuels legs are so thin OH MY GOD DANIEL TWIRLING ON HIS HANDS HOLY SHIT

86.   WHO DID THAT HALF SPLIT WAS IT ONG??? THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL

87.   Hey yall I love Kang Daniel and Park Woojin and I’m not gonna waste my fingers typing out all of the members here BUT I LOVE THEM ALL FUCK

88.   Jihoon did goddamn aegyo on that goddamn stage and Samuel gave half of a heart miss me w that cuteness

89.   Everyone think Samuel won it but goddamn?? No?? He ranked last? How the fuck did that happen I’m literally…… what?? Why on earth? Anyways yall remember when Samuel called his mom and she called him a puppy

90.   DANIK GOT 5TH IM ANGRY!!! AND HE SAID ITS WHAT HE DESERVES!! NO!!!!!

91.   Hyungseob is 4th, Ong is 3rd and Woojin is SUPER NERVOUS AND NOW THEY CUT IT OFF!! FUCK YOU MNET!!

92.   If Taehyun isn’t getting the best dancer I’m going to scream right here right now

93.   Pop got really low votes I’m emo

94.   TAEHYUN WRECKED IT HE IS FIRST!! HE DESERVES IT FUCKIN HELLL HE DOESSSS

95.   Ok cut back to get ugly votes WOOJIN GOT FIRST HE REALLY DID IM SO PROUD HE REALLY DID IY MY FOX BABY HE DESERVED THAT FIRST CENTER PLACE FROM A RANKS AS WELL BUT NOW HES HERE AND BEAT UP!!!!! THE ENTIRE TOP TEN!!! FUCKIN GOD IM PROUD

96.   TAEHYUN STAYED THERE HE REALLY DID WOOOJIN IS 5TH BUT TAEHYUN MADE IT HE IS FIRST HE BEAT ALL OF THE AVENGERS F U C K

97.   Samuel and Daniel are ranking really low…… this is…. This is really sad wow holy shit….Poor children…. To drop from second to second to last??? Poor kid

98.   Anyways the golden trio is now Gunhee, Jonghyun and Taehyun I am satisfied and have no objections to that

Good night yall buy nuest albums theyyre good for your health also happy debut to ace and merry comebacks to map6, ikon, got7, knk, b.i.g,, 24k and anyone else that I forgot

#produce 101 #broduce 101 #shitposting #produce 101 season 2 #produce 101 s2 #pd101 #pd101 s2 #pd101s2 #produce101 #mmo #mmo trainees #kang daniel #jisung #danik #nuest #jr #kim jonghyun #fantagio #ong seungwoo #hotshot #noh taehyun #ha sungwoon #hwang minhyun #kwon hyunbin #ygk+ #woo jinyoung #park woodam #hf music #yuehua #jung jung

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

#personal