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ladydeznutz · 3 years

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When He Loved Me (Peter Parker x Reader)

A/N: My first fic and it's angst that came into my head around 3am. I've always wanted to write fics, but I didn't like how I wrote and I was embarrassed. First time writing for others so I tried to keep away from using just she/her pronouns, but if that's what you'd like just lemme know

I can write for other fandoms, and imma make a list of the fandoms I like bc I have so many I forget. I'll also add some other things if it interests me. Not comfortable with nsfw just yet so apologies. Anyways, enjoy the fic ig and please give me criticism if you see something wrong

idk how tumblr works with spacing and all that so hopefully this comes decent looking

Prompt: Please, don't leave me.

TW: S**cide mention

Every day had started to feel the same to you for a while now.

It started when he began missing date nights with you. He was always so excited about them, and then they were happening less and less often. You still saw him on occasion, but it felt more like "business" than anything else.

You didn't get the same giddy feeling you used to get when you'd see him; it felt like going out with him was more of a chore. You couldn't even complain to him about it even if you wanted to. Anytime you did see him long enough, he was always gone within a second, always in a rush. You never knew what he even did with himself or if he was thinking about you at all.

It definitely didn't help that you'd always catch him hanging out with his friends. You confronted Ned about it, but he was always so dismissive. Hell, you had even talked to Michelle about the whole thing. At first, she sympathized, but then it was as if a switch was flipped. You used to go to her to vent about Peter and the relationship. Now, she was practically telling you that you were overreacting.

----

You felt like you were going to have a mental breakdown.

Learning about a loved one's passing is always one of the hardest things for anyone to deal with, especially when it's someone you deeply care about.

You had just received the news that your best friend had killed himself a couple of hours ago.

You didn't know how to feel.

You couldn't wrap your head around it. There was no warning.

You and he had been friends since childhood, and you knew each other so well that neither one of you could even remember a time when the other wasn't around.

Your hands shook as you picked up the phone to call Peter. Your tears finally fell as you listened to the constant ringing of the phone, and you knew he wasn't going to answer. Rage grew within you as you heard his voicemail message causing you to throw your phone across the room. It crashed into the wall and broke, but you didn't pay any mind to it as you fell to the ground and let out a wailed sob.

Why did this have to happen?

You could barely catch your breath between sobs.

Your body shook.

You didn't care about anything anymore.

You didn't care about Peter anymore.

----

Weeks had passed, and Peter was exhausted.

Tracking down a gang, taking them down, and meeting another Spider-Man had just been a lot for him to take in. He was so tired, he didn't even want to think about it anymore. His back ached as he climbed through his window.

He was just so damned tired.

He stripped out of his suit, took off his web-shooters, and placed them back in his closet. Then, he took a quick shower.

His job was a bit easier to have Ned and MJ know he was Spider-Man. Now he just had to tell you.

Peter stood in the middle of the room and weighed out what would happen. He felt sorry for lying to you, and he knew that he was being distant. He just didn't have the courage to deal with any of it because he was worried about you. He couldn't lose you too.

As Peter lied down to finally get some rest, he wondered how you were doing. Karen had said you tried calling him, but he couldn't answer he had been in the middle of a stakeout.

He got up and rummaged through his book bag to get his phone, turning it on to scroll through his messages. He sat up as he realized how many he had gotten. Had something happened?

As he scrolled through, his heart broke. So many people had posted about the loss of Jay and were gossiping about why he did it. When he finally went through them all, he looked at your one missed call and gulped.

You had called him that day, and he didn't pick up.

He clicked the voice mail and listened to the message. All that he could hear were your pained sniffles, a shout, and then the line cut off.

He felt sick as he replayed the message.

Peter already felt awful about lying to you; he had to fix this. He quickly texted you, put his web-shooters back on, and was ut the window.

He knew the way to your house, so it took him no time to et there. As he was getting ready to knock on your window, he did a double-take and took a closer look.

Someone was sitting in your room; it looked like he had been waiting for you. Peter quirked an eyebrow as he looked at the guy. He was wearing a red and green jacket with shorts and sneakers. He also looked like he was wearing tights?

Suddenly, you walked into the room, so Peter backed away from the window to hide in the shadows. You seemed to be upset as you were wiping your eyes quite a bit.

"I'm sorry Miles. I didn't think I'd start crying like that," you said as you sat on your bed.

"Hey, it's okay," he replied as he stood up and moved closer to you. You sniffled as you tried to regain your composure. Peter didn't quite know how to react. Who was this? What was going on?

"I just...he..." you groan out in frustration as you grip your hair. Miles' eyes widen as he sees tears start flowing from your eyes again.

"You wanna talk about it?" he asks as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You shrug as you shake your head.

"It's complicated, and besides, that's what our therapy's for" you chuckle dryly. Miles' eyes wander the room as he tries to think of something to do to cheer you up. "How 'bout we go out tonight?" he suggests.

"I don't like the tone of that voice" you sass as you turn to give him a look. Peter watches Miles turn around, and his eyes widen. Miles was wearing a suit, a Spider-Man suit. The same Spider-Man he saw the other week.

"Any place you wanna go to, we'll go" he adds with a cheeky smile. "Really? You're not busy?" You cross your arms as you stare him down.

"Nah, night's been quiet. Besides, I might be busy tomorrow, then you'd miss your favorite person in the world" he winks as you begin to smile. Peter's heart sank as he realized what was happening. He thwipped a web to the building across from yours and sat down on the edge of the roof. Pulling out his phone, he sent you a text.

Can we talk tomorrow?

Giggling could be heard from across the street. Peter looked up and bit his lip as you glanced at your phone and threw it on your bed. You got onto Miles' back, and you both swung away.

----

After you tried calling Peter that day, you stopped reaching out to him altogether. You decided that you'd wait to talk to him until he finally realized you weren't there. It had been about five weeks, and in those five weeks, you had gone to therapy and counseling.

You met Miles in counseling. He was sweet but seemed to get off topic a lot. When you were getting ready to leave one session, he had come up to you, put his hand on your shoulder, and let out a simple "Hey." One thing led to another, and you had both bonded over your losses. You went to Miles' uncle's funeral, and he went to Jay's funeral with you.

You were currently sitting on a swing at the playground as you waited for Peter. It was taking him forever to show, and at this point, you wanted to get this whole conversation over with.

Frowning, you looked around, wondering why he was taking so long. He should've been here by now. Maybe he decided not to come after all.

When that thought crossed your mind, you scoffed and stood up. Before you could go anywhere, however, you felt someone gently grab your hand. Looking back, you saw Peter staring at you with a small smile on his face.

"You came."

"Of course I did"

Peter pulls you towards him and wraps his arms around you. You take a deep breath as you stare off towards the slide. He pulls away when he realizes you're not hugging him back. The both of you pull away awkwardly as you look at each other.

"Peter-" "(Y/N)-" both of you speak at the same time.

"I- I have o tell you something" he starts with a stutter. You wait patiently as you motion for him to continue. "I know th-that I've been....not here for you for a while-" he cuts himself off when he hears you scoff.

"I.....I had these things, and I should've told you as soon as we started dating, and I'm sorry. I know I've been an asshole, more than that actually" you roll your eyes and shake your head as he continues.

"I just.....I love you, and I want you to know that even though I don't show it a lot" he finishes as he rubs the back of his head nervously.

The good thing about coming to this park was that there was usually no one here, and you were glad no one was here right now because boy were you fuming. "Told me about what Parker?" Your hand goes to your hip as you glare at him.

"W-Well....uhm......that guy that you talk to.......I'm like him I guess. Spider-Man." Your eyes widen when you hear the first part. "How the hell do you know I've been talking to someone?"

Peter stumbles with his words as he realizes he's been caught red-handed, "Uh...I was gonna visit yesterday, and I kinda....saw you..talking to him....." You narrow your eyes as you pick up a stick and throw it at him. He ducked before he could get hit, but you were already in his face.

"You were spying on me?!"

"I-I wasn't trying to! I was just-"

"Christ Peter!" All this time of you not being here, and now all of a sudden you just wanna show up out of nowhere because of what?! Jay?! Is that why you're finally talking to me?!" Panic stirs in Peter's eyes as he tries to come up with an excuse.

"I tried so hard to get you to talk to me, and you only wanna talk now because of that shit?! Peter, I can't do this shit with you anymore. I don't care if you're Spider-Man; what was the point of not telling me in the first place?! We live in New York for God's sake!!"

Your face is red as you frustratingly wipe away your tears with your forearm. Peter stays silent as he watches you; he can't say anything right now because you've hit the nail on the head.

"Y-You know what, fuck this. I can't do this shit any-anymore, Peter. But please tel-tell me; w-what did I do wrong? I di-did my best to keep both of us h-h-happy. Please, just tell me what I did wr-wrong." Your words are barely recognizable as you hold yourself to keep you're shaking body still.

Peter steps forward, but instead of stopping him like he thought you would, he cups your face gently as he looks into your eyes.

"(Y/N).....I'm so sorry I made you think this was all your fault. You did make me happy; you still do. I just...I've been so busy being Spider-man that I've neglected you, and I'm sorry for that. But I do still love you, (Y/N). I swear I'll stop doing everything just for you. I-I'll give up being Spider-Man."

You watch him unravel as he keeps talking. You can't bring yourself to care, however, as he spills his heart out. Too much disappointment has built up over the months.

"Pete...."

"Please......(Y/N), just give me another chance. I'll do anything, just please, don't leave me." His voice is soft and insecure as he begs you, almost quivering as he says it. It doesn't invoke any sort of feeling in you though. His sad eyes watch as you pull away from him,

"I'm sorry Peter" you whisper softly as you turn around and walk away.

He doesn't run after you or even shout.

Peter simply watches you walk away until you're out of view. The only thing he can hear is your footsteps as they fade into the distance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Alright so...this whole thing was based on how I could see him being Spider-Man in the beginning ig? Imo I feel like between him and Miles, the latter would be the first to tell you he's Spider-Man

And I always felt like him being away like that with no real reason would make an s/o feel like it's their fault or sumn. Like, I've always seen fics where he and the reader always make up about it, but I wanted to try the bad ending where even though he had good intentions, he's just not ready to handle being a hero, student, and partner.

#peter parker oneshot #peter parker x reader #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #miles morales #miles morales x reader #marvel mcu #marvel imagine #marvel one shot #peter parker imagine

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zealynstan · 4 years

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Acme Radio Transcript

Interviewer: Hello there and welcome into Acme Radio. Again, sorry to Rachael, we had to fade down her in the mix as she's on vacation but that's okay because we have a good reason. We have brought in an artist to perform live today, we've got Zealyn here in the studio. Hello Zealyn.

Zealyn: Hello! Thanks for having me.

Interviewer: Thank you for coming in.

Zealyn: Yeah, of course.

Interviewer: Big show tonight at the High Watt.

Zealyn: Yep. High Watt.

Interviewer: Gonna be good. Have you been over there?

Zealyn: No. The only venue I've played in Nashville was the East Room.

Interviewer: Okay.

Zealyn: Yeah. So it's the first time playing the High Watt umm... I've heard great things so I'm excited.

Interviewer: Yes, it's a nice room. There's really like, not a bad spot to see which is good. Most venues in town have a pole right in the middle somewhere.

Zealyn: Okay.

Interviewer: That one doesn't.

Zealyn: Great. Awesome.

Interviewer: Umm... But Zealyn's gonna be out there at the High Watt tonight with Andreas Moss and, I was curious about this, Savannah Sgro?

Zealyn: I think it's Sgro. That's how I always said it?

Interviewer: Yeah.

Zealyn: Yeah.

Interviewer: Okay. S-G-R-O so you can understand our confusion but I think that's it. Doors at 7, the show is at 8. You can get your tickets right now at mercylounge.com.

Zealyn: Yep.

Interviewer: Umm... You mind doing a song first so we can kinda get a little taste of what's gonna happen tonight?

Zealyn: I love to. Absolutely. Yeah, I'm going to sing the title track of the EP that I just released over a week ago- just over a week ago. Umm... yeah, it's called A Weekend in Maine.

Interviewer: Alright. Perfect.

*Zealyn sings A Weekend in Maine*

Interviewer: There you have it. That is Zealyn live here in the Acme Radio studio with a brand new song, the just dropped at uhh... like two weeks ago, a week in a half ago or something like that.

Zealyn: Yeah.

Interviewer: It's awesome.

Zealyn: Thank you.

Interviewer: Sounding great.

Zealyn: I appreciate that.

Interviewer: That is the title track, A Weekend in Maine. The EP dropped May 17th and you pretty much hit the road immediately.

Zealyn: Yeah. Yeah like 3 days later. Don't recommend it. It was pretty- it's a lot at once but it was- it's been fun.

Interviewer: And what is Maine is there something that, did you grew up there, did you have like- is there a far off place that you're like, "Oh.*something I couldn't understand*"

Zealyn: Yeah. I mean, I grew up in Boston. My family. So we always take trips to Maine. And it's just kind of umm... it's a place where a lot of memories were built, a lot of love, a lot of just... Growing up and whatnot and so, it's a really nostalgic place full of nothing but good memories that got me where I am today so... Yeah.

Interviewer: And now you're based in LA.

Zealyn: Based in LA.

Interviewer: Yeah, see I didn't know if it was just like looking at the opposite end of the country.

Zealyn: Right.

Interviewer: And you're like...

Zealyn: Wanting a peaceful life. To get away from the city I mean- It's some of that too as well. Yeah, the city can be uhh... I mean- you know, here in Nashville, it's always the hustle and bustle of music. Everyone- there's so much talent that like, "Go go go go!" So uhh... I feel like this EP is kind of like a longing to escape and just like feel free and calm for a second because it just can be crazy.

Interviewer: Yeah.

Zealyn: Yeah.

Interviewer: Absolutely. Again, Zealyn is here in town, Nashville, Tennessee, playing tonight. She's got a show at the High Watt with Andreas Mass and Savannah Sgro. It's gonna be a good show so I recommend grabbing your tickets now at mercylounge.com to celebrate her now- I guess, released in Nashville, and you've got quite a tour. Excuse me, quite a tour. You've got Atlanta coming up, the East Coast coming up in June.

Zealyn: Mhm.

Interviewer: And the West Coast back in August.

Zealyn: Yup.

Interviewer: Umm... Now, when you head out on these dates, is it something you take a whole crew with you? Do you have the whole band or do you kinda pick and choose as you go through the towns?

Zealyn: Umm... Yeah. It's kind of different each run. Umm... Some run, it's like a three-piece band and other runs, it's a four-piece and then obviously when we're home in LA, we do a whole five-piece band that I'm thankful enough to have friends that are like super talented and great people that can just play music with me. So yeah, just kinda depends on where. But tonight we'll be playing with a three-piece. A drummer, guitarist and I play keys and so umm... yeah.

Interviewer: Little more.

Zealyn: Keeping it- a little stripped- well not stripped, it will be so high energy and so fun. The drummer's amazing. But yeah, a small crew.

Interviewer: Yeah. It's gonna be good. I was listening to the EP the other day. There's some really really nice hype songs, really nice slower ones.

Zealyn: Thank you.

Interviewer: It's gonna be a good time. So again, that's at the High Watt tonight. Now, A Weekend in Maine obviously just dropped and you released it independently. Which is awesome.

Zealyn: I did.

Interviewer: Is that something you love or is that something you were just like necessary or how did you look at the independent aspect of your career?

Zealyn: I mean a little bit of both. It's not like I have labels coming to me like, "We wanna sign you right now!" I love being an independent artist right now for the time being. I think it's great. Have a small team of people that just really believe in the music and that goes a really long way. But uhh... yeah. I think for as long as I can, I'll stay independent and do it on my own. Hopefully, it gets too big one day that I'll have to bring on a bigger team. But uhh... yeah. I'm enjoying it. It's really rewarding. Put a lot of work into it.

Interviewer: Yeah.

Zealyn: A lot of hours. A lot of money. It's not easy. But it's really rewarding.

Interviewer: Yeah. Well, it seems to be working out. I mean, you've been uh... crushed in the socials and I see just constantly updating everything and you're working hard. It's great.

Zealyn: Trying. Thanks. Thank you.

Interviewer: Now, with the EP, did you do it all out in LA and who produced it like how did it all kinda come together?

Zealyn: Yeah. It was all written by me and different people. Every song I worked with different songwriters but it was - for the most part, all recorded by David Burris who is in the Arts District of Los Angeles.

Interviewer: Okay.

Zealyn: Incredible producer and like, just a great hang. It was so fun collaborating, just creating sounds and whatnot with him. So yeah, David Burris produce it all. Except for one song that was done by Aaron Marsh of Copeland. Umm so yeah.

Interviewer: And he produced your first EP?

Zealyn: He did. So yeah. The song that he did on this EP was actually supposed to release on the last EP. But I loved it so much, I wanted to like hang on to it and release it later. It's been three years and the song still holds up and I still love it so I put it on this EP. But yeah, he's also a genius songwriter and like, the layers he adds to songs are just- forget it, they're too good. Yeah.

Interviewer: No, that's cool. And there were some great little collaborations on that as well.

Zealyn: Yeah. First EP or? Yeah.

Interviewer: Yeah, for sure. Again, Zealyn is our guest. You could find her on the socials @zealyn or zealyn.co if you are looking up her website. Some nice merch there. You can listen to this new EP we're talking about, A Weekend in Maine. And you've gotten to spend a couple days in Nashville before your show tonight at the High Watt so, what have you gotten to do over Memorial Day Weekend? Anything you're just like, "Yes."

Zealyn: Okay. So I made a point on this trip to be a local and not be a tourist. So I ask a lot of friends where to go and hung out with any friends that I could hear and umm... few things. Favorite sandwich shop Mitchells.

Interviewer: Yeah. Good call.

Zealyn: So good! I don't know if that is like the local place or not. But it felt like it and it was so good. Also, went to Attaboy.

Interviewer: Attaboy.

Zealyn: *gasps* You don't know it?

Interviewer: I don't know.

Zealyn: Oh, I feel awesome right now.

Interviewer: Yeah.

Zealyn: I feel so cool. It's a speak-easy. You don't tell them what drink you want. They just say, "What do you like?" and you tell them all the things you like.

Interviewer: Okay.

Zealyn: And they create one for you and it's like always delicious.

Interviewer: Gotcha.

Zealyn: Umm... yeah. So I went there.

Interviewer: Sounds like a young person spot.

Zealyn: Okay. Come on!

Interviewer: I'm an old guy. *laughs*

Zealyn: Come on. Well no- But that's the thing though. It's not like- that's true.

Interviewer: I'm just kidding.

Zealyn: But it's not like a club or you know like- I don't know. It's like a very chill, calm hang that's just- yeah, it was fun.

Interviewer: That's my kinda vibe and I'm gonna check that out. Attaboy. Nice. Well, I'm glad that you've got to spend a couple of- you know, a few days in town and I know you got Atlanta tomorrow. So you're hitting the road after the gig night but I hope you have a safe tour.

Zealyn: Thank you.

Interviewer: And I hope you guys keep kicking ass. That's awesome.

Zealyn: Thanks.

Interviewer: Yeah. Again tonight at the High Watt, you can see Zealyn. She's gonna be out there with Andreas Mass and Savannah Sgro. Doors are at 7, show is at 8. mercylounge.com to grab your tickets or try to get them at the door if they are not already gone. And you can keep up with her on socials @zealyn that is Z-E-A-L-Y-N or zealyn.co. You mind doing another song for us?

Zealyn: I would love to.

Interviewer: Awesome. What are you gonna do this time?

Zealyn: I'm going to do Airline Wine. A song also off the EP.

Interviewer: I like that this one was actually the first one I went to cause I was like, "I wanna know what that song's about" *laughs*

Zealyn: It's literally about an airline bottle of wine. My friend was like, "You should write a song called Airline Wine." and I was like, "Okay." And it turned out to be beautiful so umm... yeah. Kinda started as a joke but turned into something I loved.

Interviewer: No that's great. the last song on the EP, right?

Zealyn: Last song on the EP. Yeah. Alright. Here we go.

*Zealyn sings Airline Wine*

Inyerviewer: There you go. That is Zealyn once again live here at the Acme Radio Studio with a little assist from her buddy DJ on guitar.

Zealyn: Woo!

Interviewer: That is a song called Airline Wine and you will find it on her new EP, A Weekend in Maine, which is out now so go check it. Thank you guys so much for stopping by today.

Zealyn: Aww. Thanks for having us.

Interviewer: Yeah. Good luck tonight. It's gonna be a good show. If you guys wanna join us, High Watt is where it is located. Andreas Mass and Savannah Sgro are gonna be on the bill. mercylounge.com to get your tickets and the show will start around 8 pm. Hope you guys, like I said, have safe travels for the rest of the tour and uhh... look forward to see you back in Nashville soon.

Zealyn: Thank you. Thanks for having us.

Interviewer: Alright. That is Zealyn guys. Z-E-A-L-Y-N.co, if you wanna find her website or @zealyn on the socials. You're listening to Acme Radio live- stick around just a little bit, we've got some more great interviews and a lot of good stuff that's coming up at 3 'o' clock here on Acme Radio.

#Zealyn #my post #Transcript #acme radio #2019 #Angie Miller

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