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kayasurin · 6 years

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A long-time lurker of @suzie-guru, I’m tossing this Strange Magic story idea under the cut. I blame (and thank) Suzie because I might not have found the fandom through her stories, but they are what kept me in the fandom (and inspired me to get the DVD as well as get ideas of my own).

Please find below 10 pages of notes for an idea I’m just calling the Accidental-Marriage-and-Pining AU. If someone decides they want to take it over, just give me a heads up. Otherwise, in my (non-existent) spare time I might take a swing at writing it myself.

· Instead of kidnapping Dawn when the love potion gets stolen, Bog King declares war. Still crashes the elf party, but only to yell at people and tell the king that hey, war.

· Roland is defeated & injured early on (shiny armour! No use! He looks very good in a parade but has never actually, y'know, fought before.) Not even by Bog, just some foot soldier goblin. Maybe Brutus with a backhand.

· Dawn's still hit with a love potion BTW, and falls for a married elf who is devoted to his life-partner and, uh, it's flattering but he likes... guys. (Dawn literally cannot understand the idea right now, when normally she's as passionate about people being able to marry the ones they love as Marianne is passionate for denouncing love, period.) Dawn is kept in her room.

· Sunny gets hold of the love potion and hands it over, along with his guilt - he is able to say it's Roland's idea, since Roland went from "respected" to "ridiculed". The triplets come forward and admit that they may have suggested Roland use a love potion on Marianne (who is very scary and they're very sorry). People remember that Roland's been talking off and on about war with the Dark Forest for a long time.

· Bog is not about to stop the war now, even with the Fairies offering the potion back and they're really sorry - the Elders of the Forest would overthrow him in a heartbeat if he did.

· Sunny is punished, but not as harshly as if he were the sole cause of the war. Basically confined to his rooms helping with the routine paperwork everyone else is too busy with the war to deal with. He might have nightmares about being unable to tell Requisition Form A-7 from Requisition Form A-8.

· The Imp steals the love potion. It was well guarded but not well enough. Marianne hunts the Imp down (while everyone else is on the battlefield - her dad thought it'd be great for keeping her away from the fighting) but not before several fairies, elves, and a sparrow are dusted. Lizard/Lizzy still fixates on Sunny because he got dragged along with. (Everyone knows Marianne asking him what the hell he was thinking about a love potion and her little sister is more punishment than requisition forms.)

· (Sunny is really, really sorry. But at least the lizard fixated on him. Guy who had a sparrow fall in love with him got carried off. No one knows where he is. Everyone is varying degrees of worried)

· (He's okay and shows up later after escaping when the love potion wore off. Maybe, haven't decided yet.)

· The war, meanwhile, has lasted a month so far. The final battle happens.

· Bog goes after Dagda, has to fight his way through the battlefield.

· Marianne, who is not supposed to be there, gets between Bog and Dagda. She is a fresh fighter, compared to Bog who just spent a couple hours beating his way through elves and fairies and Dagda's guards. Also, Marianne is angry someone's threatening her dad. Also-also, there might be some high-pitched and painful-to-goblins screaming going on.

· Marianne wins. Bog's hurt, very badly. (I'm sorry boo!) He's mistaken for dead for a little bit, actually.

· Dagda, trying to signal to the goblins that their king is dead, please stop fighting and go have a civil war on your own side of the border, tries to pick up the Bog King's staff of office. He gets burned. It's wood (or... something?) but it just heated up like a sword fresh from the forge and not yet quenched. Marianne takes the staff, mostly because Dagda drops it, and is perfectly fine.

· Battlefield turns into a different sort of chaos, of course. It's sorted out that Marianne is now Queen of the Dark Forest by right of personal combat with the Bog King - who, it turns out, is still alive. Marianne orders he be taken care of immediately (Maybe she can give this stupid staff thing back? Seriously, it's twice her height or something and really heavy and also she doesn't want to rule the Dark Forest! Heal up so she can give it back, now!)

· Marianne, however, isn't going to be a bad ruler. She's got a bunch of terrified Goblins watching her and a bunch of scheming fairies too. She tells her dad to hand Roland over, since he was the real source of the conflict, but she'll be nice and accept him going to the Stone Reach * for investigation and trial.

· *I envision the Stone Reach to be this rocky outcrop on the south border between the fields and the forest and, possibly a swamp or something. Not associated with anyone, considered perfectly neutral and called on in cases where the royals might have a conflict in sentencing, ect. Since three generations back they've also dealt with passing messages across the field/forest border, because Bog's grandfather refused to talk to Marianne's great-grandfather, and no one's changed the status-quo since. They do other things too for both sides, but the main one is being neutral.

· They also run around fully cloaked, so no one can tell what species/race they are. Other than weird. The head of the group, AKA main investigator, I envision as something like Sam Vimes from Discworld, except covered head to toe so no one can actually see him. The right personality, though.

· Back to the story though - the goblins had expected Marianne to just kill Bog on the battlefield, but weren't complaining when she wanted him healed instead. He's moved to the castle, sort of a prisoner and sort of "the prison cell is the only other place in the castle with beds long enough for this guy, and the Queen's taken over the Royal bedroom, and someone this injured cannot sleep on the floor."

· Marianne also moves to the Dark Forest castle, immediately after telling the fairy council where they can stick their plans for the Dark Forest. (She's going to be a good queen and also hand this nonsense back to the Bog King once he's conscious. She can't hand the place back if the council gets their way.) The goblins are obedient, but not helpful. Griselda spends her entire time watching over Bog in the prison/sick room.

· Griselda and Marianne encounter each other whenever Marianne's down there interrogating Sugarplum about the love potion. Dawn's still dusted after all, never mind everyone else. (Griselda: not impressed with this fairy who nearly killed her baby boy.)

· Some of the goblins start actively plotting against Marianne. They're kinda bad at it because goblins go for "in your face" things like actual challenges, instead of backstabbing and what have you. Most of the plotting, therefore, is "who can we all agree to back and who has a chance of defeating our new Queen - shh she's coming" and not "let's poison her drink."

· Seriously, goblins have standards for overthrowing their monarchs and solving political problems. Who'd be low enough to resort to poison or stabbing someone in the back when these sorts of things are important and should be seen by everyone! (Fairies. Fairies are low enough. Marianne is aware of the plotting but is expecting them to rebel the way fairies would - AKA knives in the dark or poison in the food. The lack of action in that direction is confusing her.)

· The plotting goblins loosely fall into the following categories - those who want to back Bog in taking the throne back, those who want "new blood" on the throne (and if that blood happens to be related to them, so what?) and then there's a very small group of goblins who think Marianne's not the worst thing in the world, but only if she marries a goblin and has goblin babies.

· Around this point (approx 1 month after Marianne takes over) Bog wakes up. It takes him a little while, but he regains his health pretty quickly once he's conscious and isn't being force-fed (or unconscious-fed) broth. He sees Marianne when she visits Sugarplum and gets full reports of everything going on thanks to Griselda, Stuff, and Thang (as the ones most able to visit him without being noticed and what have you). He's annoyed at the plotters manoeuvring and spends his time thinking of how he can possibly get his throne back without relying on those plotters who back him.

· Seriously if he accepts help from any of the plotters he can say hello to a new life as a political puppet. As for anyone else ruling his forest, hah! He dealt with that fly-shit as a kid when someone stole his father's throne (from Griselda, Bog's regent, since Bog's dad kind of died when Bog was a newborn) and then Bog had to kick the imposter off the throne - and not doing that again, thanks.

· Between his informants and reports about captured goblin soldiers, Bog figures out that any rebellion will likely be met with fairy soldiers setting the forest on fire. It's the main stumbling block to his plan of "kill or kick the fairy out and take the throne back" and he and Griselda spend a long time trying to figure out how to prevent the fire happening. At the very least they're expecting Marianne to turn the Forest into a servant-state of the Fields.

· (The fairy council, despite her telling them what to do with their plans, expect the same. And are very annoyed that it hasn't happened yet. It's a temper tantrum, that's what it is. Sure.)

· (There's tension between Marianne and Dagda for this reason, among others, especially since Dagda only "let" Marianne go to the forest to try and get a cure for the love potion.)

· (Marianne is super unhappy at being in the forest, but as long as she doesn't go outside or look out a window she doesn't panic or anything, which is one way to avoid talking face-to-face with her dad.)

· After a while (couple weeks) Bog's judged as healed as he can get just lying around and to start getting up and moving to build his strength back. He and Griselda have no answer to the probable "fairies with fire" thing, so Griselda instead begs Bog to capitulate to Marianne, swear allegiance so she doesn't kill him to strengthen her rule. (They've figured that's why she's having him healed up, so she can execute him in front of the Elders and properly strengthen her claim.) Griselda: "I've buried my husband. Please don't make me bury my son."

· She doesn't fight fair. Bog, meanwhile, might not be king any more but the oaths he swore when taking the throne still count, okay. He still has a responsibility to protect and serve the goblins, and obviously a rebellion isn't the way to go (fairies with fire). If dying keeps them safe (or safer, anyways) he'll do it. He'd rather not, but he will.

· Marianne finally gets the story of Bog using the love potion, and what the antidote actually is, from Sugarplum. Bog is unaware of this, by the way. He is aware that Marianne's yelling at Sugarplum ("What, real love is the only cure? Are people aware that you're peddling something fake? Seriously, all you're doing is making longer-lasting BEER GOGGLES you fraud!") but can't make out the words. Probably for the best.

· Marianne contacts Dagda (those weekly messengers are finally good for something) with the cure - true love - and tells him Sunny can cure Dawn, now stop sending me constant messages telling me to come home, I'm BUSY ruling my new COUNTRY. Dagda obviously does what he's told re: Dawn and Sunny, and keeps sending Marianne messages asking her to come home, the forest is no place for a fairy, ect, ect. They'll set up a subsidiary of the council to take care of the day-to-day humdrum of ruling the forest. (HAH! No.)

· Sugarplum is shipped off to Stone Reach. Her actions are going to be evaluated for treason. No, Marianne's not being petty and it's not revenge for the whole "Dawn got love potioned and Roland was going to use the potion on Marianne" thing. And absolutely nothing about feeling sympathy for a young, love-lorn Bog King who then got his heart broken because Sugarplum was selling lies. No sympathy for the stick-insect-man at all.

· Bog requests an audience with Marianne during her next open court. Either his (horrible) plan will work, or it won't and he'll die. Either way, it'll be over with quick. And he's figuring on the "I'm going to die" side of things, because it's a terrible idea but no one can come up with anything better, and it will hopefully keep the plotting idiots from doing something to bring fire-and-fairies to the forest.

· Oh yeah, little tidbit that this story relies on - there's a second, smaller throne beside Marianne's. The goblins brought it in. When Marianne asked why it hadn't been there to start, they explain that Bog had it taken away, but she hasn't told them the policy about the second throne yet, ect. They do not explain who the second throne is for, figuring it's obvious. It is not. Marianne figures it's for - like in the fairy kingdom - the chief advisor/heir, depending on whether there's an heir or not. The goblins, meanwhile, know it's for the ruler's partner. Both sides think the other side "knows" what the second throne is for.

· Bog shows up in court looking like he's just barely mobile, because he is. He's got some fresh new scars showing. First time for the majority of the goblins to see his wounds. People are either impressed he survived or disappointed he survived. First time Marianne really sees his wounds - or him - as well.

· (This is a slow burn, people. They've finally met properly. That's not the end of it yet though.)

· (Bog's worst wound is, I'm envisioning, a cut high up on the inside of his thigh, in the small area between hip and leg not covered by chitin. Yes, there. A few others include healed cuts on his face and hands, and a crack on his chest, which has healed but won't go away until the next shed or two.)

· Bog explains to Marianne that the goblins don't want to accept her as Queen, that she will face challenges to her rule as long as he lives, even if he is not the one challenging her. (Simplification of all the nonsense the plotters are coming up with, of course.)

· Marianne challenges Bog that he wouldn't be saying that if there wasn't another way, unless he wanted a public execution. (Outwardly calm, inwardly panicked. She hasn't killed anyone yet, not even on the battlefield. She really doesn't want to start by chopping someone's head off.)

· Bog kneels and says he will swear to accept her as the rightful ruler and abide by her rules. He'll even live in the fields if she wants him out of the forest, ect. (Inwardly going "Oh hell no I do not want to live in that horrible place - but I will if I have to and that might help protect my people too, yes self you just volunteered to be a hostage but whatever.)

· After some back and forth, Marianne accepts Bog's oath. The goblin Elders are annoyed because they didn't factor this possibility into their plans at all. Griselda is resigned but relieved that Marianne's not going to kill Bog. The common goblins are confused, but relieved, ect.

· Marianne then announces she has made a decision about Bog. Bog is there expecting to be sent to the fields in exile, maybe with a few goblins. Instead, Marianne tells him to take the lesser throne. (The spouse seat. The Elders are freaking out. They REALLY weren't expecting THIS.)

· Goblins, shocked. Bog, shocked. Marianne, confused and hiding it. She just wants to keep the former ruler as her chief advisor. (Why didn't she just take the chance and shove the throne back at him and flee as fast as she could?! She could've done it but nooooooo...)

· The slow burn BEGINS, MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA

· Bog is moved into the previously closed spouse-bedroom attached to the royal chambers through the washroom. He's constantly sitting to Marianne's right during dinners and things. He is very confused and bemused and worried, because now he's Marianne's husband? That's literally all it takes for the ruler to decide yup, this is my life-partner, just an announcement and the life-partner sitting in the lesser throne. (Most do throw parties of some sort or other, but that's not required.)

· Marianne does not help by having a discussion with Bog, immediatley after court, about what his duties will be, once he's healed. Advising her about goblin law and customs, primarily. Nothing "active" until he has a clean bill of health. (She's thinking sparring, maybe, or sending Bog out to be the royal face so she doesn't have to fly through the forest - no she's not getting better on her own. Bog's brain maybe shuts down a little, though, because married + active = error does not compute.)

· They set up a routine: breakfast together, usually with a group, very informal. Mornings are spent separate, Bog going to the healer, his mother, dealing with the guards and messengers, ect. Marianne reviews proposed laws/drafting proposals herself, dealing with household complaints, ect. (Marianne asks Bog why the hell he let things get so bad the linens were taken by field mice. Bog is confused they ever HAD linens. There's a reason why Marianne's the one in charge of the household. Mostly because Bog's pants at it.)

· They eat lunch together, then court if it's a court day. Or the library the rest of the time, for Marianne's "how to rule the Dark Forest" lessons. History, politics, who wants to kill who, how property rights are handled, inheritance law, ect.

· Dinner together, and then Bog gives lessons in staff fighting. At the start he gets to sit down and correct Marianne's stances, then as he gets better he starts moving around and eventually they begin, very carefully, sparring.

· Bog, during this part, transitions from hating Marianne with a passion (she beat him and stole his throne!) to respecting-but-disliking her (okay, she stole his throne, but she's not horrible, for a fairy) to respecting and liking her. It helps that she admits she didn't actually want to take his throne, he was going for her dad and she just reacted, and she's really sorry but she's determined to do a good job of it. (She may or may not have started to offer to give the throne back, but it won't work that way, because Bog lost and would need to win a serious fight to get it back. No-go right now, and depending on how that leg heals, maybe never.)

· Marianne, meanwhile, is also transitioning during this part, from distrusting everything and everyone (she's a fairy and fairies are good with backstabbing) to trusting that she's accepted, for now, as the ruler. The plotters have stopped their plotting until they figure out how to handle everything that's happened. She relaxes, trusts Bog but is feeling guilty over stealing his throne, even though she didn't mean to. She also finds herself, by the time they're sparring, admiring Bog's fighting ability (and absolutely not his body. Just the fighting ability. Juuuuuust the fighting ability. Not his hands, or the way he can twirl a staff with just his fingers, or the way his shoulders flex, or that smirk or - just the fighting abilities. Yup. That's her story and she's sticking to it.)

· By this point it's autumn and the harvest starts, so it's all hands on deck. Bog's delegated to the kitchen, because he can be trusted not to chop his own fingers off and he's still only allowed to be only so active. Marianne assists with winterizing the castle and the hidden outbuildings (archives, ect) because she might not know how to hunt and she can't tell the difference between a poisonous berry and a safe one, but by golly she can slap mud and moss over a crack in the wall like a champion.

· Word from the Stone Reach arrives. After the (date to be determined - probably hunter's moon, or maybe harvest moon, before the first frost but only just), Roland and Sugarplum's trials will be held. Marianne can't avoid it, Bog has to go too, ect.

· Marianne and Bog have had multiple personal conversations by this point, everything from brief, "this reminds me of" and in-depth, hours-long conversations. However Marianne stops sharing her personal history/views/values/experiences. They had stopped sparring because Super Busy for harvest, but they take it back up again. They still discuss laws and culture, but not as much. They're also still busy doing what they're allowed to do for harvest. (Marianne is too busy to get freaked out bringing stuff to people outside, and anyways everything's changing colours and she's not reminded of things that happened, so it's okay.)

· Harvest festival with the goblins - Dawn and Sunny visit. Most goblins are unaware Sunny was the elf that stole the love potion, so they treat him decently, and Dawn's okay because she's their Queen's sister. Dawn asks Marianne to come back for the fairy's harvest festival. Marianne tries to get out of it (she really doesn't want to talk to Dagda in person by now, she's been avoiding him for most of the year now - Primroses stop blooming around May) by telling Bog if she goes, he goes. By the end of the night Marianne and a small group of goblins, including Bog, have been selected. She's not sure how that happened.

· (Goblins, for the most part, wear jewellery and not clothes. For the most part they're all wildly different in shape anyways, but what one of them can wear as a necklace another can wear as a bracelet, ect. Tasteful bling happens.)

· Bog warns Marianne that he only has his traditional outfit and there's no time to get anything made for his new status. She tells him to wear the traditional. (She's expecting, like, maybe a crown, maybe some armlets or something.)

· Bog's outfit is a royal great kilt. (I put the Scottish-accented Bog in a great kilt, I'm so proud of myself.) Where fairies use magic on flower petals and leaves, goblins have weaving - which takes so much longer, since they spin cattail fluff and thistle-down or tufts of fur into yarn, and then have to do the weaving. Marianne's given a wrap with the same pattern as Bog's kilt and they started making it the moment she was officially Queen - so about the time she sat down on the throne for the first time.

· (Telling Bog to wear the great kilt provided to the forest's king - not the prince, not the consort, but the full king - reinforces the "married" thing. She doesn't know that. Bog assumes he hasn't been asked to 'perform' his 'marital duties' because Marianne doesn't find him attractive, and he is totally 100% relieved about this and not even slightly regretful someone he considers a friend thinks he's too hideous to touch. Yup.)

· (Marianne, meanwhile, is all but punching herself in the face because she's started humming, goddamn it, whenever she and Bog are alone or plausibly alone. She totally has feelings she refuses to examine, mostly because Bog's kind of like her employee now and he probably still hates her for the whole 'stealing the throne' thing.)

· (Bog may or may not have the odd wish that Marianne would sing to him, because fairies sing to the people they lo - like. Right? Right. Yes. Friendship songs, toooootally friendship songs. They'd be nice.)

· Then the fairy harvest festival. Marianne sees Bog in a kilt and nearly walks into a wall, because - clothing. She's seen him naked, technically, but hooooooh boy now that he's wearing clothes, of a sort, all the can think is getting him out of them and there may or may not be some (a lot) of blushing and mental beating herself up going on. (Marianne has read romance novels, of the sort that go into details a young and impressionable and curious thirteen year old was curious about.) (Bog, in contrast, is quite innocent, poor guy. Doesn't know what's going to hit him...)

· The entire festival basically goes as follows: Fairies are polite but condescending to the goblins. Fairies are polite but condescending to Marianne. Goblins get annoyed at the fairies being rude to their Queen - the group was chosen by Bog half because they'd be useful in a fight, half because they happen to genuinely like Marianne by this point. Marianne doesn't notice the fairies being condescending to her but she does notice them being rude to her goblins. Most fairies end up acting like catty brats.

· At least one fairy accuses Marianne of having gone native to the forest. She does not deny it. At least one council member warns (threatens) her that her actions are risking her inheritance of the Fields. Bog overhears the threat, but not Marianne's response of "Dawn would be a good queen (and Sunny, you know, her elf fiancée? Would be king. Won't you enjoy that, you wrinkled old prune?)"

· The trial at Stone Reach is probably immediately after the party, so the goblins ride their dragonflies there and the fairies fly. Marianne spends the entire flight snubbing Dagda who probably spent the entire fairy party trying to ask her who she wants to take over the day-to-day ruling nonsense so she can come home, and also would she please reconsider any of these charming fairy bachelors (who were rude to her goblins so not just no, hell no.)

· (She might be a little a lot protective of the goblins, now. She really likes them and their way of life and sure it's different from what she's used to, but that's hardly a bad thing. Also, Bog. Who has nothing to do with her "hell no" about the fairy bachelors, of course.)

· The trial. Evidence is presented, including Roland cheating on Marianne and how often, her breaking up with him, all because it goes into his motivation for wanting a love potion. (Someone gets to observe if Roland had just kept it in his pants for one more day, he'd have been married and thus the next king... up until Marianne caught him cheating and killed him, anyways.)

· The Stone Reach provides it's judgement of Roland to be treason to the Fair Fields (knowingly and deliberately taking actions that led to the war) and conspiracy to act against the Dark Forest. Roland is sentenced to death.

· Plum is judged to not have committed treason by reason of mental instability. She is to stay at the reach until she is judged sane. Also she is to not make any more love potions, because the spell-masters at the Reach believe creating love potions did not help with the mental stability. (No, that's probably not an excuse to make her stop, they're from the Reach. They certainly wouldn't lie. Tell only part of the truth, sure, but out-and-out lie? Never.)

· Marianne does not stick around for Roland's execution, but instead leaves as soon as she can, taking the goblins with her. She remains distant to everyone - having her blindness to Roland's true character and the many times he cheated on her revealed to everyone hurt - but especially avoids Bog. She does her duties, but without her usual enthusiasm, and doesn't spar.

· Bog ends up confronting Marianne in her bedroom. They fight, both verbal and physical, though not much of the later. Marianne ends up threatening to send Bog to live in the fields if he can't keep his nose out of her business. He retreats after that.

· (I mentioned slow burn, right? Also, threat to the trust they've built up to this point, along with their friendship.)

· Bog goes around snarling at everyone, Marianne is upset with everyone, and it's just in time for the first snow to hit.

· Griselda tries to talk to Bog and gets nowhere, so she ends up confronting Marianne. "I'm a mother and you should fear love me" works where nothing else did, and Marianne ends up confessing about the fight and how bad she's felt since defeating Bog, and taking away his kingdom - and just everything, really. Up to and including how she has 'no right' to feel as she does for Bog, ect.

· Griselda does manage to direct Marianne to talk to Bog. Marianne does, and apologises for what she said, confirms that she'd never ask him to move to the fields, never mind order him there, and that she relies on him more than anyone, ect. Finishes by saying he's her best friend - and apart from Dawn, kind of her only one, really.

· This is the moment Bog falls head over heels out of friendship and into love. He's sunk.

· All the pining happens from this point on. Sparring resumes, the duo begin to notice (and admit) their physical attraction to each other, and their conversations become awkward (but so exhilarating). They have more personal conversations, including Marianne eventually discussing how she felt about Roland, how she felt about being cheated on, ect.

· (Marianne does say, in retrospect, she loved the idea of Roland more than the person, and her upset was as much for losing that 'idea' of him as being cheated on. Also, in hindsight, not that Marianne tells Bog this, but she didn't feel much for Roland, physically. He was too pretty to lust over, or something. She just figured she'd get the physical attraction once they were married.)

· (Of course, Marianne is comparing her memories of how she felt about Roland to how she feels about Bog now, and she is noticing Bog physically a whole lot. Primarily his eyes, hands, wings, that scar high up on his thigh, and how careful he is with his strength. She maybe wants to wreck his self control, which is not something good fairy girls are supposed to want.)

· (Bog, meanwhile, really wants to know what Marianne's hair feels like, and really likes her eyes, and her wings, and her neck keeps catching his attention, and she's so tiny but she's so strong and it's really impressive how she can just, like, go toe to toe with him and even overpower him at times. It gives him fluttery feelings inside.)

· With winter in place, Bog starts taking Marianne out on trips in the forest. Short trips because it's cold, but he gets the chance to show her places he feels are the most beautiful - things like waterfalls where the plants and rocks are coated in ice from the constant spray, or the glow cave, flying through the thorn bushes only this time it's daytime and they look like they're carved from crystal because there's just so much frost everywhere, ect.

· Mutual pining continues. The goblin midwinter ceremony happens - no set details right now, but probably something about staying up all night until dawn, dinner being 'starvation food' (like super-thin soups and salads made out of things you'd only eat if you had no other choice), putting all the fires out and lighting candles, then lighting the fires from the candles, ect. Marianne does the fairy tradition of giving gifts - those closest to her get personal gifts, everyone else gets generic gifts like sweats (or socks - goblins love the idea of socks). She ends up giving Bog a traditional engagement gift - possibly a wire and gemstone bracelet?

· During the first council meeting of the new year, the Elders of the Forest make preliminary noises about potential heirs and merging new Royal blood with the old. (They have finally decided how to handle Bog being married to Marianne.) Marianne finally discovers she and Bog are considered married. The goblins finally discover she had no freaking clue. The goblins are stunned. Bog's heartbroken, because of course there was no chance, Marianne's reaction just proves that out.

· (Bog assumed, his feelings for Marianne aside, she was just making the best of their marriage and doesn't feel anything more than friendship for him. He figures it's a one-sided situation again, only worse, because a) no way he'd ever consider using a love potion again and b) they're married.)

· (Marianne is heartbroken, as she figures this means Bog was just making the best of a bad situation and maybe they are friends, but how the hell can he love her? Not only did she steal his throne but she told him they were married the first day he was barely mobile... ect.)

· More pining! Not helped by the goblin Elders, who are pushing for a proper marriage that both sides know is a marriage.

· Griselda is just so done with everything, from the Elders to the mutually pining idiots giving each other sad, longing looks over the breakfast dishes (and not realizing the person they're sighing over is sighing over them right back. They're sitting right next to each other, how are they this dense?!) She sends messages to Dawn explaining EVERYTHING, especially about the mutually pining idiots. (Griselda may or may not have spent multiple hours with each idiot bemoaning their sad and sorry fate. At least Marianne's honest about wanting to shove Bog against a wall and oh yeah you're his mother, sorry...)

· Dawn sends a letter back saying she won't be much help until the snows help in spring, but be encouraging (and blunt) with the idiots.

· Griselda sets up the romantic dinner from the movie, only the song is "kiss the girl" from The Little Mermaid. The idiotic and pining duo get angry, tear up the decorations, and go off to spar (and pine.)

· After they spar, they go outside to stargaze a little. They grouse about the Elders and the romantic dinner (blaming the Elders, not Griselda). Someone slips - probably Bog - and probably along the lines of "after all, I know you wouldn't - well, I'm me (gestures at self) and you can do better."

· Whoever is self-deprecating is reassured and the initial confessions of feelings happens. They retreat to Marianne's private office to talk in the warm. Further confessions of feelings happens. Kissing happens. Someone (probably Bog) gets shoved against a wall and ravished. There is no complaining.

· Their relationship escalates quickly (probably same day, TBH) to sharing a bed, but no sex. They do end up with lots of heavy petting every night as they figure out what feels good, what doesn't, ect. Marianne discovers Bog's spine thing, Bog discovers Marianne's thing for necks (both hers and his - she's equally enthusiastic having her neck kissed (and nipped) as she is doing the kissing (and nipping) as well as Marianne's ear thing.

· They try to keep it secret from Griselda and the Elders. They are not subtle and they fool no one. The Elders, however, have to shut up about it because Marianne has a sword and tells them what she'll do with it if they don't move on to the next subject, NOW.

· Griselda sends Dawn an update with no reply, but isn't surprised.

· Marianne and Bog end up with smut. Bog is quite happy to be shoved around and Marianne is quite happy do shove him around. They take turns turning each other to mush. Marriage proposal once they're able to do words again afterwards.

· Close out with a wedding under the cut primroses, some combination of goblin and fairy traditions. (Okay, more fairy traditions than not, because fairies actually need a ceremony to be married and goblins don't, but details.)

#Strange Magic #fanfic #a wild plot appears #slow burn #misunderstandings

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makeroomforthejolyghost · 7 years

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HERE IT IS!!! i’ve been waiting 700 fuckin pages for this omg; i have such fuckin Collector’s Pride about this passage in proust bc i think it is. the only instance in anything i have ever read??? where an author describes how the interaction btwn feeling compelled to hide vs. to draw attention to their being sick[bats] plays out--and where they get it right, bc proust speaks 1. from personal experience and 2. without either undue self-defensiveness or -mockery. SO I AM GOING TO QUOTE IT AT LENGTH, w/ regrets if ur on mobile.

Neurotic subjects are perhaps less addicted than any ... to “listening to their insides”: they hear so many things going on by which they realise later that they were wrong to let themselves be alarmed, that they end by paying no attention to any of them. Their nervous systems have so often cried out to them for help, as though with some serious malady, when it was simply going to start snowing or they were going to move house, that they have acquired the habit of paying no more heed to these warnings than a soldier who in the heat of battle perceives them so little that he is capable, although dying, of carrying on for some days still the life of a man in perfect health. One morning, bearing within me all my habitual ailments, from whose constant internal circulation I kept my mind turned as resolutely away as from the circulation of my blood, I came running blithely into the dining-room where my parents were already at table, and--having assured myself, as usual, that to feel cold may mean not that one ought to warm oneself but that, for instance, one has received a scolding, and not to feel hungry may mean that it is going to rain and not that one ought to fast--had taken my place between them when in the act of swallowing the first mouthful of a particularly tempting cutlet, a nausea and dizziness brought me to a halt, the feverish reaction of an illness that had already begun, the symptoms of which had been masked ... by the ice of my indifference, but which obstinately refused the nourishment that I was not in a fit state to absorb. Then, at the same moment, the thought that I would be prevented from going out if I was seen to be unwell gave me, as the instinct of self-preservation gives a wounded man, the strength to crawl to my own room, where I found that I had a temperature of 104, and then to get ready to go to the Champs-Elysées. Through the languid and vulnerable shell which encased them, my eager thoughts were urging me towards, were clamouring for the soothing delight of a game of prisoner’s base with Gilberte, and an hour later, barely able to keep on my feet, but happy in being by her side, I had still the strength to enjoy it. (2.92-3)

fjslahgsdf i love that (in addition to being complete nonsense in context) his rationalization re feeling cold teaches him to associate illness w/ punishment and thus w/ bad behavior??? and how he slides right from there to the more obvious connection btwn these phenomena, i.e. that as a child u feel compelled to hide both so as not to let ur parents deprive you of a privilege. also haha notice that in spite of his habitual lack of interest in food the narrator describes the cutlet as “particularly tempting,” vs. his later description of “eager thoughts” inside a “languid and vulnerable shell” holy... shit... yes??? i. get maybe unnecessarily excited, when i see depicted this, like. necessary cognitive dissonance. that comes w/ chronic illness; i often see that phenomenon reduced to “we fake being well, not being sick” but that never quite feels accurate to my experience. like it’s true that’s what ur doing when you go out n try to look nice and have fun, do school &c. w/out mentioning to anyone that ur not well, yeah, but. qua sensation it’s more like a disconnect btwn the state of the fleshcase and the standard by which u judge external phenomena. like? the threshold past which you lose the ability to do that--to aesthetically appreciate or even feel tempted by food you intellectually know would nauseate you, for example--gets way higher; you develop a tolerance to the altered state, i guess, as you would to an actual drug.

anyway, also this:

For some time now I had been liable to fits of breathlessness, and our doctor, braving the disapproval of my grandmother, who saw me already dying a drunkard’s death, had recommended me to take ... beer, champagne or brandy when I felt an attack coming. ... I was often obliged, so that my grandmother should allow it to be given to me, instead of disguising, almost to make a display of my state of suffocation. On the other hand, as soon as I felt it coming, ... I would grow distressed at the thought of my grandmother’s anxiety, of which I was far more afraid than of my own sufferings. But at the same time my body, either because it was too weak to keep those sufferings secret, or because it feared lest, in their ignorance of the imminent attack, people might demand of me some exertion which it would have found impossible or dangerous, gave me the need to warn my grandmother of my symptoms with a precision into which I put a sort of physiological punctiliousness. If I observed in myself a disturbing symptom which I had not previously discerned, my body was in distress so long as I had not communicated it to my grandmother. If she pretended to take no notice, it made me insist. Sometimes I went too far; and that beloved face, which was no longer able always to control its emotion as in the past, would betray an expression of pity, a painful contraction. ... And its scruples being at the same time calmed by the certainty that she was now aware of the discomfort that I felt, my body offered no opposition to my reassuring her. I protested that this discomfort was not really painful, that I was in no sense to be pitied, that she might be quite sure that I was now happy; my body had wished to secure exactly the amount of pity that it deserved, and, provided that someone knew that it had a pain in its right side, it could see no harm in my declaring that this pain was of no consequence and was not an obstacle to my happiness (93-4)

i just?? yes? exactly!!! that is exactly how it works like it feels fucking horrible not to tell anyone but also u. don’t want to, because it will inevitably sound like a Big Deal, and sort of is a big deal In The Grand Scheme Of Things re how much it affects your life, but in order to admit that (and thus not have to worry about how to Break The News when and if it becomes relevant) you risk making it sound Tragic or Scary, which it isn’t, because it’s. normal. i like that the only role he gives to fear, here, is worry about how to navigate social situations while ill; i’ve been so indignant lately about all the time i spent accepting other people’s perception that i was afraid of being or becoming ill when... no? he’s right; that stopped being scary ages ago. what u have is a constant quiet knowledge that u are Weak and Ailing--in a way/to an extent that it may or may not be safe or plausible to hide--and a fear of how that might affect ur social existence and ability to function. and it’s so fucking nice to see that mentality figure in a story!!!

#tell marcel i'm ignoring his text posts #screalth tag #alcohol ///#emetophobia warning ///

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petersonwriter · 4 years

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Alcohol - The Legal Killer

Pete Peterson

He came to lying in puke and piss on the hardwood floor of his den. It took him a minute to figure out where he was. How he got there, he did not know. His head felt ready to explode. His eyes ached. He shivered in rancid sweat that soaked his tee shirt. He struggled to his feet, his trousers wet with urine. He wore a shoe on one foot, and nothing on the other one. His heart banging, he stumbled into the bathroom, splashed cold water on his face and peeked at the unshaven stranger in the mirror.

“You were supposed to be dead by now,” he said. That’s what he had intended when he started this drunk, what two weeks ago? Nausea swept over him. He dropped to his knees, hugging the commode and retched, spewing green bile and blood. After maybe fifteen minutes, he stood weak and dizzy.

He heard footsteps in the hall. He didn’t want his daughters to see him this way as they left for school. He tossed his trousers into the closet and pulled on running shorts. He’d pretend he was going for a jog. He reached for his bottle to take a swig so his hands would stop shaking. That’s when he noticed the pile of glass in the corner, a broken bottle on top of it.

He staggered to the closet, pulled out a fifth of Evan Williams Black Label, twisted off the top and took a long slug. Usually, he’d feel a rush of well-being, a sense of relief course through his body, stilling the popcorn thinking that peppered his mind. Now, he felt nothing. No relief. No feeling of well-being. Nothing.

He heard his daughters giggling. His beautiful curly-headed, freckled face, black-eyed girls. When he heard other voices, he realized, school was out, not starting. He reached for the doorknob. He’d greet them, tell them how important they were to him, let them know he loved them.

His oldest daughter’s voice stopped him. “Let’s play outside. We don’t want to make Daddy mad. He’s sick. Again.” He heard the girls walk down the hall, past his room. He heard the living room door slide shut with a bang, loud as a prison door. He took another pull from his bottle. The usual warm feeling, the dulling of senses, failed to materialize. He let the bottle drop to the floor, turned and fell on his sofa, sobbing, hot tears rolling down his face.

* * *

Alcoholism has many faces and facets. Often what is said about it is not only wrong, it’s dangerous. With this in mind, let’s turn to an expert to examine the real issues of alcoholism. This is important, since alcohol abuse caused over 88,000 deaths in 2015 alone, (and opioids, killed another 42,000). With so many conflicting reports emerging, new legislation, drug policies, penalties, and programs being continually trotted out, it is important to re-conceptualize what we already know.

Psychologist Donald Lee, a former Oceanside resident, is an expert in the field of alcoholism and alcoholism recovery. He’s seen the effects of it as an adult son of a practicing alcoholic, as a scholar and in his day-to-day practice. He offers straight forward advice based on his wide knowledge and experience.In a wide-ranging interview conducted in the Escondido offices of the National Association of Sales Consultants and Coaches, Mr. Lee addressed many aspects of alcoholism to a rapt audience.

First question, “What is an alcoholic?”

LEE: Alcoholism and substance abuse - Alcohol/Substance Use Disorder - can be defined simply as: Continued use of drugs or alcohol in spite of serious health, family or economic consequences. Add to this academic definition these in the field observations - an alcoholic is a person who can no longer control and enjoy their drinking; an alcoholic is a person who is either thinking about drinking or thinking about not drinking – trying to get sober. Alcoholism is a 3-part disease consisting of an allergic reaction to alcohol that is exacerbated by a compulsion to drink, coupled with a spiritual void. This is pretty hard-core definition for some – as real as it might be – but it’s safe to say that an alcoholic can never safely drink again, just as the drug addict must maintain life time abstinence. And there’s the rub – the addict and the alcoholic must find some way to live without using or drinking again. That’s why getting appropriate help is so important.

Why Use Drugs or Alcohol?

NASC&C: How does one become addicted in the first place?

LEE: Neuroscience paints a pretty clear picture of what happens to the addicted brain. Drugs (and alcohol is a legal drug), release a chemical called dopamine into the brain. This externally induced overflow of dopamine changes the mid-brain's response to other survival needs -food, water, even procreation, get bumped down the list of priorities, and the drug becomes Number One to the user. This person is now an addict. To those so afflicted, the crux of addiction is that the brain has been hijacked, creating physical and emotional cravings for the user’s substance of choice. The brain has literally been changed. And it doesn’t go back to normal on its own. Just putting the “plug in the jug” – advice often offered to new alcoholics - isn’t enough. If not drinking or using were the answer, long-term addiction problems would not exist. The brain needs to repair. It doesn’t happen simply through abstinence. Not for the real addict or alcoholic. Dr. Drew Pinsky, famed addictionologist, says, “Every thought a newly recovering addict/alcoholic has for the first six months to a year, is a thought that is trying to make the individual return to using the substance.” Thankfully, he adds, “The Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous seems to fix those parts of the brain.”

Alcoholism: Acts as an Infectious Disease

NASC&C: If a drunk, or an addict continues to use, what lies in store?

Lee: Alcoholism and drug addiction kills. Dead. Addiction to drugs and alcohol is a terminal condition. Pure and simple. But this addiction can be interrupted, and sobriety prevail if the drunk or addict gets help.

NASC&C: I hear from addicts and drunks that I only hurt myself. If I want to die drunk, that’s my business. True?

LEE: Not true. Every addict/alcoholic adversely affects, on average, seven other people.

NASC&C: So why is addiction so different from other terminal maladies of human existence?

LEE: This question is answered quite clearly in the 4th Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. “If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worthwhile in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer’s. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents -anyone can increase this list.” When an alcoholic or addict says, “I’m only hurting myself,” this is a lie they tell themselves to justify their actions but is one of many errors their thinking sets in motion by the mid-brain's single-mindedness of purpose, which for the addict is to get more drugs/alcohol.

It’s A Family Dis-ease

NASC&C: I also hear, alcoholism is a family disease. What’s meant by that?

LEE: This is an area many misunderstand. First, because of the care, worry, empathy, fear, upset, frustration, love, and desire for the addict to get better exhibited by family members, they often fall in the trap of impaired judgment, becoming distracted by the actions of the actor, continually thinking about the alcoholic/addict until it becomes an all-consuming obsession, thus loved ones become just as ill as the addict, in the very same way. Over time the entire family dynamic can change. Alternating between codependent overindulgence and physical and emotional cutoff, the family desperately strives for some sense of normal homeostasis. But it never comes.

NASC&C: That’s a pretty bleak picture. Is there no hope for the alcoholic/addict or the family?

Lee: Yes, there is hope. Alcoholics Anonymous and 12-Step programs patterned after it, have helped millions of people recover from this seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body. Simply defined, we can look at alcoholism as an allergic reaction to alcohol. The allergy manifests as a compulsion to drink more and a mental obsession that guarantees it. This is why it can be so difficult a habit to break. Professionals in the field of drug and alcohol addiction have known this for close to a century. What they didn’t know was how to beat it. The famous psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung suggested that an alcoholic must have “a complete emotional displacement and rearrangement.” He called this, “vital spiritual experiences, where ideas, emotions, and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast to one side, and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.

The Gift of Desperation

NASC&C: What was the genesis, or beginning of a verified treatment program for drunks?

LEE: A newly sober stockbroker found himself broke, far from home, and tempted to drink after six months of hard-won abstinence. In a moment of clarity and he realized he desperately needed to talk to another alcoholic. He intuitively knew he had to get out of his own head and try to help other suffering alcoholics. He called a pastor who knew of someone he could talk with. He called Henrietta Seiberling, who introduced him to a local doctor who had tried everything he could think of to get sober but could not “whip the devil.” The two men met at her house. A projected 15-minute meeting lasted for hours. Somehow, talking alcoholic to alcoholic, without the specter of shame or authority, the two identified with each other.

The broker, Bill W., came to stay with Dr. Bob for a time. As Bill W. and Dr. Bob continued their efforts to stay sober, they began to formulate other ideas about recovery. They agreed that their common problem was complete powerlessness over alcohol. Their ideas were simple but not new. They realized a dependence on a Higher Power (however you conceive of Him/ or Her or It) was essential. Becoming honest with defects of character and past behaviors would allow one to be free from the bondage of the past and able to make amends for past offenses.

These steps were formalized to include continuing inventory, prayer and meditation, helping others to recover from alcoholism, and striving to practice these principles in “all our affairs.” After one last prodigious bender, Dr. Bob realized he had not been completely honest with himself and others. He had tried to hold on to his old ideas that others would judge him, or if they found out about his problem, he’d lose all his business.

He was the first to realize what they say in recovery rooms, “You can’t save your ass and your face at the same time.” Doctor Bob made the rounds to his patients and others in his community and made his amends to the best of his ability. “To his surprise, he was warmly welcomed. He returned home that night exhausted but very happy.”

He never drank again.

Bill and Bob met with a third alcoholic in the hospital and told him their stories. Alcoholic Number Three could tell from their demeanor that these men were sincere, knew what they were talking about, and most importantly, weren’t coming from a position of authority. Simply one drunk talking to another. After explaining their simple program of action, this man left the hospital for the last time, never to drink again, one day at a time.

This was the beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous. Over the ensuing 85 years, sobriety, serenity, and sanity have been returned to millions of people all over the world. Having a certain mindset and following a simple plan of action, lives and fortunes of countless individuals and their families have been made whole.

N.A.S.C.C: If AA works so well, why then doesn’t everyone get sober?

LEE: The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) suggests a possibility: “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. Usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates.”

There are other challenges as well. Many individuals, whether through early experience or temperament, have difficulty with developing a belief in a power greater than self. The Big Book goes to great lengths to detail how many alcoholics came to AA as atheists or agnostics yet found a way to believe in a power greater. Sometimes it began with a realization that personal powerlessness itself means there must be some power greater than one’s self.

It has been the experience of many that when faced with the prospect of total destruction, leaning into the idea of a Higher Power is not such an onerous choice. Since that time in 1935, millions of alcoholics have found relief from the lethal condition of alcoholism.

In addition, recovery for the family comes in the form of Al Anon and Al-a-teen. Both are patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous and use the same 12-step program. Their mission and purpose is to help families and friends of alcoholics connect and support each other…to find hope and encouragement to live joyful, serene lives.

Many 12-step groups have sprung up for narcotics addiction, marijuana addiction, heroin addiction, crystal methamphetamine addiction, cocaine addiction, gambling addiction, sex addiction, tobacco addiction, and others.

A couple of important points may help explain why Alcoholics Anonymous can be so helpful: “AA’s steps are ‘reports of action taken rather than rules not to be broken under pain of drunkenness...nor commandments to be followed.’” From A Member’s Eye View of Alcoholics Anonymous: “AA's Twelve steps are a group of principles, spiritual in their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole.” Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

NASC&C: I’ve heard that alcoholism and drug addiction are particularly rough on women. Is this true?

LEE: According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, more than 5.3 million women ages 18 and older have an alcohol use disorder. Approximately one in two women of child-bearing age drink, and eighteen percent of women in this group binge drink (five drinks per binge, on average). Recently, National Public Radio aired a segment regarding a woman in Mom’s Club, a membership program devoted to teaching the finer points of wine selection and consumption who realized she was drinking too much and decided to quit.

She recounted this was not as easy as she thought, but with help, she’s recovering. Only after she’d stopped drinking did her menstrual cycle return to normal. The feature noted that often women who binge drink are more likely to have unprotected sex which increases the risk of unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

In fact, women who drink while pregnant increase the risk of fetal alcohol syndrome, which can cause mental and physical birth defects. Binge drinking dramatically increases the risk of sexual assault on women, especially those living in a college setting. Alcohol abuse disorder in women has increased by 83.7% between 2002 and 2013, according to a 2017 study sponsored by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).

I hate to spew numbers, but it’s important to note that high-risk drinking, defined as more than three drinks in a day or seven in a week for women, is on the rise among women according to a 2017 study. Death from liver cirrhosis rose in women from 2000 to 2013. Drinking too much – on a single occasion or over time – can take a serious toll on your health.

NASC&C: Why does extensive alcohol consumption effect health so adversely?

LEE: Alcohol interferes with the brain’s communication pathways and can affect the way the brain looks and works. These disruptions can change mood and behavior, and make it harder to think clearly and move with coordination. It also interferes the function of one’s heart, may lead to arrhythmias – irregular heartbeat – as well as stroke and high blood pressure. All most everyone is aware that heavy drinking affects the liver that can lead to a variety of problems and liver inflammations including, stenosis or fatty liver, alcoholic hepatitis, fibrosis and cirrhosis.

NASC&C: How about the Big C? Cancer. What’s the scoop there?

LEE: Based on many reviews of research studies, there is a strong scientific consensus of an association between alcohol drinking and several types of cancer. In its Report on Carcinogens, the National Toxicology Program of the US Department of Health and Human Services lists consumption of alcoholic beverages as a known human carcinogen.

The research evidence indicates that the more alcohol a person drinks—particularly the more alcohol a person drinks regularly over time—the higher his or her risk of developing an alcohol-associated cancer. Based on data from 2009, an estimated 3.5 percent of all cancer deaths in the United States (about 19,500 deaths) were alcohol related, including head and neck cancers, esophageal cancer and liver cancer and breast cancer, many studies have consistently found an increased risk of breast cancer associated with increasing alcohol intake.

The Million Women Study in the United Kingdom (which included more than 28,000 women with breast cancer) provided a more recent, and slightly higher, estimate of breast cancer risk at low to moderate levels of alcohol consumption: every 10 grams of alcohol consumed per day was associated with a 12 percent increase in the risk of breast cancer. Alcohol consumption is with a modest increased risk of cancers risk of the colon and rectum. And researchers and medical authorities have long associated alcohol consumption with weakened immune systems as well as pneumonia, tuberculosis and diabetes. Booze often lingers in the body for days and a single episode of drinking can weaken your body’ s ability to ward off infections – often for 24 hours after getting drunk.

NASC&C: Going back to a previous question, I’ve heard AA described as a cult. What’s your take on that?

LEE: (Laughs). I’ve heard that. too. In fact, it frequently comes up when working with newcomers. The best answer I can give comes from A Member’s Eye View of Alcoholics Anonymous, which answers the question. “If the blind lead the blind, shall they not both fall into the pit?” The answer is strangely enough, “No”. Perhaps one who is a little less blind, or who can at least discern vague shapes and forms, can describe what he or she sees while the other one still lives in total darkness.

Before the average alcoholic walks through the doors of his first A.A. meeting, he has sought help from others or help has been offered to him, in some instances even forced upon him. But these helpers were always superior beings: spouses, parents, physicians, employers, priests, ministers, rabbis, swamis, judges, policemen, even bartenders.

The moral culpability of the alcoholic and the moral superiority of the helper, was clearly understood. The overtone of parental disapproval and discipline in these authority figures is always present. So when a new drunk hears for the first time from the lips of another one suffering just like him, and this message is what happened to me and this is what I did, not a menacing rat-a-tat tat of “This is what you should do,” the message resonates. I’m personally convinced that the basic search of every human being, from the cradle to the grave, is to find at least one place where one belongs, where one can stand stripped of all pretense or defense, and trust that those present will not to hurt him or her, because they too are stripped of their pretense.

That’s what AA does, it gives each member a clear picture of the foibles of each member – what brought them to this moment and what they did to stop their drinking. No dogma, no religion, no belief, no philosophy is necessary. Just what I did, and what you can do if you wish. Pure. Simple. The idea that alcoholism is a disease — is now no longer unique. However when one hears from the lips of another person their story, no reasonably intelligent person can quarrel with has been said. This desire to stop drinking is the only requirement to being a member of AA.

* * *

Perhaps it’s time to check back in on that poor drunk lying in the ‘prison cell of his own making,’ sobbing while his two daughters played outside. After several gulps of top-quality bourbon, he felt no effects, no lessening of terror and dread. To the outside world, he was a success – he had a great job selling law books for a respected publishing house, a lovely wife, a beautiful home in a desirable neighborhood. His lack of self-esteem, his sense of never belonging could be dissipated by a double shot of bourbon. One drink led to another until now he was crying on his sofa, his trousers wet with urine, his life that of complete and incomprehensible demoralization.

In a moment of clarity, he realized that if he was to live and he desperately wanted to do so, and do something worthwhile with his life, he had no option except to quit booze. Forever.

He somehow managed to get dressed, dialed a phone with shaking hands, scribbled down the address of an AA meeting and walked on unsteady legs into a group in his helpless condition. He admitted to himself and others, that he was powerless over alcohol.

From that day to this, some forty-seven years, he has not had another drink and has taken his rightful place in society. The End

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vsplusonline · 4 years

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Why these Canadians living abroad have no plans to move home amid the coronavirus

New Post has been published on https://apzweb.com/why-these-canadians-living-abroad-have-no-plans-to-move-home-amid-the-coronavirus/

Why these Canadians living abroad have no plans to move home amid the coronavirus

Living abroad during a global health crisis can create concerns about whether coming back home is the best option.

For many Canadians who’ve spent years away, returning to North America amid the coronavirus outbreak may not be ideal, or even possible.

“I am not expecting Canada to fly people out anytime soon,” said Jason So, a Torontonian who has lived in Seoul, South Korea, for more than eight years.

“I am more worried about flights being blocked for us to leave commercially or the costs associated with self-isolation for two weeks when — and if— I return to Canada,” he explained.

Coming back to Canadian soil could risk his family’s health, and he doesn’t have a place to return to, said So, 34.

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READ MORE: Do you think you have coronavirus symptoms? Here’s who to call first

South Korea is one of the countries most impacted by the spread of the coronavirus (referred to officially as COVID-19), with more than 6,000 cases reported.

Officials there have been praised for administering more than 140,000 tests for the virus, resulting in a low death rate and the number of cases dropping in the last few days. Although there’s been a comparatively high number of infections in South Korea, So says his day-to-day life in the country where he runs a restaurant hasn’t changed drastically. “Seoul does not feel like it’s dangerous or a fearful place to be, it is very orderly and everyone is taking it one day at a time,” he said to Global News via e-mail.

Canadian officials evacuated hundreds of its citizens out of Wuhan, China, the epicentre of the COVID-19 outbreak, last month along with those on the Diamond Princess cruise ship docked in Japan. When they returned all had to engage in a 14-day quarantine to ensure they posed no risk to the public.

Returning back to Canada simply isn’t practical at the moment, but the mood in South Korea is one of concern, said So.

1:02 Coronavirus outbreak: WHO says the world is ‘on the verge of reaching 100000 cases’

Coronavirus outbreak: WHO says the world is ‘on the verge of reaching 100000 cases’

“Most busy and bustling places are very empty these days so the effects on retail and food and beverage is of great concern on top of all the health risks involved with this virus,” he said.

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There has been xenophobia against Chinese people and come cafes are refusing customers from China, he said.

“Expats are trying their best to avoid going out like most locals in Korea,” he added.

As he runs a business in South Korea, his feelings on whether he wants to stay will be more dependent on whether he can withstand an economic downturn, he explained. “Or I could cut my losses and be home with family, where I obviously would feel safer,” he said.

‘There’s no reason to come home’

Leora Courtney-Wolfman says she feels comfortable in Austria. Supplied by Leora Courtney-Wolfman Supplied by Leora Courtney-Wolfman

Canadian Leora Courtney-Wolfman lives in Vienna, Austria, where there are currently 55 confirmed cases of the coronavirus. But what might be more concerning is the tiny European country borders Italy, where around 4,000 people have been infected and nearly 200 have died.

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“With being near Italy, the Viennese are kind of famous for being blase, very indifferent and not making a big deal about things,” said Courtney-Wolfman, 35.

Many seem fairly tense and hand sanitizer is being marked-up in stores. But overall, most are calm, she explained. However, the side of the country that’s closer to Italy may be behaving differently, she added.

READ MORE: The coronavirus outbreak will end eventually — the question is howl end eventually — the question is how

To those in Vienna, Italy seems as far away as Vancouver does for Torontonians, she explained.

Originally from Toronto, Courtney-Wolfman has lived in Vienna for seven years and works as a demographic researcher. She has no plans to return to Ontario amid the coronavirus outbreak.

“There’s no reason to come home. I’ve been following the story in Toronto out of interest … It seems they’ve developed a response plan after SARS that’s doing well,” she said.

“We will have to see what happens in Vienna. It’s a great city to live in, but there’s a lot more people in all of Europe in a much smaller space than Canada.”

One positive about living in Austria, as opposed to Canada, is that the work culture has always encouraged employees to stay home if they are sick, she said.

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“If you have a mild headache or cough, you’re not going to come into work for a few days … there’s no pressure,” she said.

“People are less worried because if you’re sick, you don’t see anyone until you’re better. A lot of Canadian cities, you feel guilted into coming into work,” she explained.

Travel plans haven’t changed

In Germany, there are 349 reported cases of the new coronavirus, which was a steady increase from less than 250 in early March.

Kevin Caners, originally from Brockville, Ont., has called Berlin home six years and says the extent of the coronavirus impact is starting to feel more omnipresent.

“It depends a lot on your particular community. The general [mood] is a little on edge or expectant, there’s definitely been shortages all over the city,” he said. Products like pasta, rice and flour have been sold out across Berlin, he explained.

READ MORE: Homemade hand sanitizer: Can it protect you from the new coronavirus?

Caners says he and his girlfriend just bought tickets to come home to Canada for a short visit this June. Those travel plans were on his agenda before the virus, he explained.

Kevin Caners says he plans to come back to Canada on a planned vacation there. Photo by: Christina Peters.

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“I’m personally dreaming, hoping, expecting that it will eventually blow over. I have no actual idea, but I have a hunch eventually it will blow over,” he said.

“I’m 34, so I’m not in the high at-risk community or demographic, so that plays into it. If I was older or had health complications, I’d be much more concerned.”

‘Everyone is working together’

After living in South Korea for nearly two years, Evan Przesiecki says he’s not overly concerned about his safety in the country.

He teaches English in Seoul, South Korea, and has returned to Canada once in 2018 for the Christmas holidays.

The government is taking the necessary precautions and public schools across South Korea have closed to encourage teachers and students to stay at home,” he said.

“Above this, workers like myself are still being paid during this unexpected time off, so financially things are sound too.”

Even though South Korea has faced other outbreaks like SARS and H1N1, like many other countries, the current scenario seems unprecedented, he said.

��People are avoiding mass gatherings, like going to the movies … it’s a shame. Right now is usually a great time for tourism,” he said.

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“But now everyone is working together to ensure that we control this situation as quickly as possible.”

READ MORE: Here’s why frequent handwashing is recommended in preventing spread of COVID-19

Friends and family in Canada have asked Przesiecki if he’s nervous about the virus since the first cases were reported in Wuhan, he said. But the Korean government’s response has made him feel fairly comfortable where he is, he explained.

“I worked very hard to get my job here in Seoul, and I do have my life here at the moment. Korea has been so welcoming and good to me,” he said.

“It’s hard to just say I’ll drop a place I very much considered home at the moment when there are so many uncertainties.”

Living in Seoul as opposed to Daegu — the centre of Korea’s outbreak — has given Przesiecki some distance from the majority of those infected, he said.

Regardless of where you live, be informed of this virus, he said.

“It’s very important that everyone educates themselves about the situation and not to spread fear,” he said.

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