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#joaquin phoenix

So tonight, I watched the movie Joker, and having seen it, it made me more grateful for who I am and what I have. I’m not trying to put anybody down for any reason; I’m merely saying that after seeing what Joaquin Phoenix’s character went through, I took a brief assessment of where I’d been in life, where I am now, and where I could be going, and overall, I’d say I’ve been doing all right.

On a somewhat-related note, I’d like to share something that I’ve been doing ever since 2014: I’ve been keeping what I call a “gratefulness diary”. Here’s how I do it: every night, before I go to bed, I write down a list of good things that happened to me that day. They can be things such as: getting enough food to eat, getting through the day without being the victim of a crime, getting to talk to my loved ones, being hugged by someone I like (there’s NOTHING more cool), or even just still being alive. Even if it sometimes feels like an arbitrary thing to do, it’s really helped me to take stock of life.

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  • Ben Barnes
  • Mads Mikkelsen
  • Tom Hardy
  • Josh Brolin
  • Alan Rickman
  • Ralph Fiennes
  • Sebastian Stan
  • Adam Driver
  • Joaquin Phœnix
  • Jason Isaacs

( none of this gifs is mine )

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You sleeping in Arthurs PJs while he is at Arkham <3 /Headcanons

*3 am and you paced around apartment 8J with the heaviest of hearts. Arthur was at Arkham state hospital and it seemed like they wanted him to stay for at least two weeks, which broke your heart. The thought of him lying alone under those white sheets at night, longing for you to hold him was killing you.

*Being at the hospital wasnt as bad for him as it sounded but you knew that he hated the smell of the bleach they used to wash the sheets. It made him feel very uncomfortable at night and you just wished that he would have been allowed to bring his own pillow with him. A piece of the loving home he shared with you.

*Arthur was at Arkham for banging his head against the wall until he passed out. You found him lying in front of the fridge when you came back from working a night shift, confused and close to tears. You felt guilty for working shifts. Being alone in the apartment at night was tough for him.

*He was so very confused that you both decited it would be better to call the doctors so you did ,and he was okay with checking in, but it was horrible to think of him being all by himself in this sterile room with nothing to hold onto except to his journal, which they allowed him to keep.

*You knew that he wanted to stay there for a while because he thought he was a burden, no matter how much you tried to convince him that he could never be a burden for you. He knew himself good enough that there was a chance he would hurt himself again within the next few days and he wanted you to not worry about that so he thought it would be better to stay at the hospital.

*Being seperated from him felt like losing yourself. Without his presence you felt nothing but empty inside. His absence hurt. Mentally and phisically. You were never seperated before. You have been together every day since you moved into his apartment one year ago.

*You missed everything about him. His  voice whispering sweet nothings in your ear, while he was hugging you from behind. His jokes, his sweet smile, his gentle hands upon your skin, his kisses. You missed hearing his steps on the floor, the smell of his hair and skin. His warm breath on your neck when he fell asleep, the intense loook in his eyes when you told him how much he means to you. It was all taken from you right now. His absence was a black shadow, growing inside. You felt like one of those scribbles he used to draw in his journal before he met you.

*You opened the wardobe, trying to find some of his clothes to wear. His brown sweater. The one he wore when you first met him. Or maybe the blue one. You loved how worn out and faded this one looked and  buried your nose in it but it smelled like fresh laundry. You needed to smell HIM. So you desperately searched for his PJs everywhere and found them under the sheets, where he left them. Perfect. You put on the pants and buried your face in the red longsleeve sweater. It smelled like him. You took off your shirt and got into his sweater. The same fabric he wore while sleeping was now caressing your naked skin. This felt so good. Soft and cosy to the touch. You took a deep breath and another one. It felt like wearing him as a second skin.

*And thats how you felt about Arthur really. He was your second skin. Your soulmate. You only felt whole with him close to you. You didnt even knew how to funktion as a person without him anymore. He was your light, your heart,your reason for living, your PURPOSE.

*And you knew that you were the same to him. Thats why it hurt so much to know he was alone in his room right now.  You wish you could call him but you had to wait until tomorrow. Not being able to see how he was actually doing was torture. What if he was suffering from night terrors and no one was there to calm him down? They would only give him more meds if he would be scared. But he needed more than that. He needed your warm ebrace to calm down again, to feel save. Your arms as a shelter. Protecting him from the world outside.

*You always knew how to calm his mind. His bouncy legs. How to help him breathe when he was lost in his laughter. HE NEEDED YOU. There was nothing in this world you wanted more than to be able to be with him.

*You covered yourself with his fave blanket. His Pj pants smooth and silky against your skin. Wearing his clothes made you feel like he hugged you. If you only felt his hands… His loving, gentle hands….there was nothing like it…

*You pulled your legs close to your chest, burying your face deep into his pillow. The smell of his hair. Cigarettes, prell shampoo and a little bit of sweat. You wanted to hold this special kinda scent in your lungs forever. Oh how much you loved the scent of his brown curls. Especially the ones that used to dance in the back of his neck.

*Your fingers  across the fabric of the pillowcase. It had some red and blue make up stains on it. You kissed them softly. Every single one of the colorful spots. Traces of him. A map that was leading you closer to him. Just like you used to kiss his tiney wrinkles. Those beautiful lines on his face. Leading to his true self.

*Your lips touched the pillow so softly, like it was his own skin. Closing your eyes and imagin his face in front of you helped you to feel a little bit better. You imagined how his lips used to form a smirk while he was kissing you. “Oh Arthur, I miss you so much it hurts” you whispered in the pillow, pressing it so close against your face, it was hard to breathe. Your arms hugged the soft material until it felt like his body lying next to you. You could swear that you felt the warmth of his body, but it was your own body heating up from the thought of him.

*Your right hand wandered to your chest. The soft fabric of his dark red sweater felt so familar. It didnt felt like you were touching yourself. It felt like you touched him. Your fingertips remembered it perfectly. Every inch, every curve of his arms, his elbow….every bone that was sticking out. So tragically beautiful.

*You`re getting lost in the thought of kissing along the line of his collarbones. You could always see them when he was wearing that sweater. They were teasing you, wanting to be kissed.

*Your hand wandered down to your ribs, your belly. In your mind it was his body. You and him. One body. One soul.  You coudlnt wait for him to come back home again.

*You wanted to put on some of his favourite songs but you didnt wanted to leave that shelter you just built.It was way too comforting to get up.  So you just hummed them, like he would do. And somehow you hoped that he was able to hear you in his white room,dreaming of you until you would be united again.

@impulsiveclown @ben-solos-writing-avenger @jokerownsmysoul @missjoker96 @arthurskitten @lynnesm @nonnymousse @gwynplaine89 @damnrightobsessedwithim @sgtsavoytruffle  @duhliriouss @sadjesterautumn @therealjokerking10 @flowerglitterwoman @thirstforfleck @spookyhome @iartsometimes  @you-cant-cry-in-here @bustafatclownnut @jokerismyhubbie @jokerflecker  @check-out-this-joker @darknessisafriend  @nicoleverse @mdme-rosary @arthurhappyclown    @neon-umbrella-for-stella   @cherrymoon75 @call-me-harley-quinn​  @arthurjokersgirl

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Imma be real open. If you try to suppress arthur fleck, you’re hurting him.

Hes going to be joker whether you like it or not, cause joker is his true form.

Sorry but ive been here for years. A joker is a joker is a joker.

And if you don’t like that unfollow me before i start writing more fanfics.

Cause you cant save him.

Hes joker

You don’t love him. If you dont love his joker too.

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