#i’m probably just reading into it but yknow

[auckie]

I think the things that offend me most nowadays in like, smaller interpersonal interactions rather than grand, sweeping trends in culture, are when people chose to not partake in a wide set of things. Like musical close mindedness, or refusal to try different foods from different cultures. Not watching an entire subset of films bc they’re ‘french’. Avoiding reading bc you say you have adhd and it’s too hard. Like dude I get it, I’m busy. I can be picky. Everyone can. But the willful ignorance of closing yourself off to those VAST portions of the human experience, and not having curiosity and a lust to learn and explore art that was made by someone worlds apart from you either in terms of their culture, era, whatever. I dunno man it just pisses me off so bad. I think it’s arrogant. Like oh you’re comfortable in your safe little bubble huh? And you’re enforcing its barriers with the excuse that you’re autistic and have sensory issues. With music made by black people?? lol okay. It is pretty presumptuous for me to assume malicious intent but I think those prejudices are borne from either the comfort of being someone who’s wealthy and probably white not feeling the need to learn past what they think is enough, or it’s a reflection of a society that’s taught you to prioritize what it shills— popular, current (white, depending where you live ig) artists who are making streamlined, easy to digest content. Often when I meet people with these issues they’ll have one particular ‘niche’, and it tends to be like. 70s music. Victorian literature. Anime and Japanese games. But they’re still not really investing beyond the media presented. Like there’s so much more to Japanese culture than liking some cartoons put out between 2010-2020. You don’t gotta become some sorta Einstein who learns the background of every little freak in FGO yeah. But don’t you wanna aim higher? Aren’t you interested in any of the historical figures? And nothings wrong with hopping onto a trend. You read Dracula bc of that Dracula daily thing. Cool! Read more. Some people will say they’re chronically ill or disabled and can’t get outside. That’s okay. The internet is full of things you can read other than fanfiction, YouTube has a shit ton of free music. There’s Wikipedia and free articles online if you have questions about things. Yeah nobody is spending four hours a day looking at the national archives website and studying art history but it’s imbued in the things around you, and youll absorb it ambiently as you go along. you dont have to be a jack of all trades and cover every major genre of every major medium, but it never hurts to try! I really love seeing ppl ask too. Bc it can be kind of humiliating to admit to what seems like some jackass hipster that you’ve never delved into, idk, Serbian films (lol not that one). And hopefully if whoever you’re asking will give you honest good recommendations and not berate you. I’m kind of berate a straw man rn I guess. The hostile tone def doesn’t lend to an atmosphere of sharing but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve rbed anything involving specifically jazz only to see someone rb and add the stupidest comment on the post, or in the tags, or go into my inbox to be like waaah I don’t like jazz bc it’s boring and old and for pretentious hypocrites who hate neurodivergent people! Like what are you TALKING about. Fine if you don’t like it but don’t try and rationalize that as a moral standing you shit lark. And just as they’re allowed to dislike jazz I’m allowed to not really enjoy people who don’t like jazz. Or country. Nautical knots. Knit wear. Watching urbex YouTubers get their shit rocked by squatters. Korean food. Pachuco fashion and stupid ugly low riders. Bollywood films. and they don’t want to try any of those things either yknow? The next thing I’m getting into is circuit bending.

#sorry this is probably a bit whiny I just got mad remembering

[zeb-z]

Vanya seemingly being honest in her guilt - something Arthur understands like no one else - but that being what seals the last nail into her coffin, so to speak. Because Arthur gets guilt, this immortal endless guilt, probably more than anyone else. He knows what it means to try to atone for something you cannot. And like guilt, he gets anger. In trying to find some sort of humanity, to relate to his better nature, she just pissed him off - because she was the one who turned him, she was the one who orchestrated and sat back and watched as he did what he did. How dare she be the one who survives and try to move on, how dare she claim to suffer the same guilt that claws at him, that haunts his nightmares. She doesn’t get to feel this, she doesn’t get to have this redemption, or mercy.

And at the same time, I don’t think Arthur was ever really going to let her go. I think her fate was sealed when Arthur reached out to Magnus to be there - a human friend, a hunter friend, called not only to shoot Vanya should things go south, but to take out Arthur as well, should he lose himself in a frenzy. It was probably sealed far before then, despite the century Arthur had to deliberate. There was never going to be any room for any forgiveness for her, because he has none for himself.

#it’s like. she was never going to be left alive bc I don’t think Arthur even plans on making it out of his crusade for peace yknow #a monster is a monster to him. ofc there’s shades of grey and he’s not just so black and white but with vanya? what she did? there was neve #really any question #I got like a billion more thoughts around this but I’m so tired so I hope this reads comprehensively and I’ll probably add more later kfksj #anyways the music for this whole scene with them went so unbelievably fucking hard #jrwi #jrwi the suckening #the suckening #the suckening spoilers #arthur bennett #z speaks

[carpisuns]

sometimes I kinda wish tumblr had something akin to a twitter circle or Instagram close friends list. bc sometimes I kinda wanna say something but not necessarily to Everyone. i feel like tags are almost equivalent bc they’re like the Secret Whisper-Rant Place except anyone can see them. Which adds some fun flavor I suppose. Tumblr close friends circle except it’s whichever of ur followers cares to read your tinytext ramblings

#i always overshare in the tags and then if someone indicates that they saw the tags I’m like omg #no one was supposed to see that #even tho I put it on a public post that anyone on tumblr dot com can read #lmao #also tumblr just feels weird compared to twt #bc when I any time I make a post I feel like I am using a megaphone and being obnoxious HDJSKS #but on twt I feel like I’m just. sayin something. yknow #which probably most people will not see anyway. or will ignore lol #like I don’t worry about being annoying on twt? bc things get lost on the feed immediately anyway? idk #but on tumblr sometimes I have a random thought I’m gonna share but then I stop and I’m like. This isn’t necessary nvm #most of the time I save it as a draft for no reason and then never post it anyway #i can’t tell if this the difference in vibes between tumblr and twt #or the difference in vibes of two vastly different follower counts lol #bc I only have like 600 on twt. and I have. more than that here. lol #and ofc there are. the checkmarks. which do not help with the obnoxious megaphone feeling lmao #ok have a nice day tumblr circle who reads my tags

[moonwreathe]

is fandom culture dying or am I just in dead fandoms

#soul eater #fairy tail #voltron #yuri on ice #yknow looking at these tags… this MIGHT be a me problem #I think the only thing I’ve gotten really into lately is Scavengers Reign and I feel no desire to write fic for it… it’s just too good #oh and obviously BG3 but kind of same thing there #if the writing is good and I’m satisfied… I don’t feel inclined to write or read fic #ok but hold on bc YOI and SE were very well written IMO so maybe I’m just getting older #maybe I need to delete more socials #I already got rid of FB and Twitter #there are klance comics I follow on insta so no dice #but I should delete TikTok… I don’t want to but that’s also how I KNOW I should #and YT too probably #maybe I just need to go camping for like two weeks with no cell service and scavenge for food… I think that would fix me

[mossflower]

listen i love book omens but calling it queercoded is so funny. they called aziraphale a fag

#i think they probably just put some gay jokes in and moved on. personally. #idk maybe it is coded. ppl have written essays about this i’m just Posting yknow #but it never read as coding to me. it read as 90s gay jokes but he’s Not Actually Gay bc he’s not a man. bc he’s not human

[designernishiki]

suddenly feeling dead inside and just wanna read good fanfic or something. feel free 2 give me kazumaji or minedai recs if you think i’d like em

#I usually only read like canon-compliant or canon-adjacent stuff. yknow like fics that feel like they could’ve happened in-universe. just a #heads up there. im weird and autistic when it comes to continuity and/or accuracy for lack of a better word #don’t take that too harshly i just don’t know how else to put it #I could just. work on my own. that I never finish or post. but uhhhhhhhh #literally im suddenly so fatigued and mentally exhausted i don’t wanna leave my room and I’m probably just gonna eat cereal for dinner #because I don’t have energy to cook and I don’t wanna eat anything that isn’t like. a kind of comfort food I guess. #simple stuff. idk #anyway. send me whatever if you want to those r just my preferences #rambling #id play judgement but I think it’d give me a headache rn #sigh

[mr-e-nigma]

Werewolf Ash/Vampire Herbert fic? Please god I am begging you?

#herbert’s never canonically been a vampire but guess what ash canonically was for like five minutes!! #a werewolf. #please I’m fucking begging someone write this it’s such a good concept #I will write it probably but I want to just be able to read it yknow #even just werewolf ash/human herb will saciate me #ashbert #ash williams #herbert west #army of darkness vs re-animator #evil dead #army of darkness #re-animator

[ezraphobicsoup]

the true my chemical romance welcome to the black parade listening experience is being interrupted like halfway through teenagers for a phone call for 1 hour 17 minutes

#(things are alright don’t worry he’s ok or at least will be ok or at least is feeling better now #things have definitely been worse anyhow) #anyway the real question: #do i reread chainsaw man from a certain point because i really don’t remember it that well (which does make sense considering how #and when i read it) #or do i watch the full rtgame best of 2023 video #i’ll probably do both but what do i do first hmmmm #i might rtgame it up yknow i don’t have to think as much for that one #but also i’ll fall asleep and loose my place and wake up on the floor at like 4 #so you could argue i should like go to bed or something but i’m not feelin that just yet #maybe i will just be and see what happens and what journeys life takes me on #ezra’s real life rambles #ezra likes music #<- sort of sort of

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Song Of Silver Flame like Night

YA wuxia/xianxia inspired fantasy

a girl in a colonised country with a mysterious seal on her arm left by her mother before she was killed

when a state magician finds her, she escapes with a boy to his school of secret traditional magic practitioners, and discover the secrets her mother left her

powerful demon gods

#Song Of Silver Flame like Night #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #with the caveat that i am clearly not the audience. i kinda hated this lol #for a few very specific reasons #i think there’s interesting concepts & worldbuilding #but i am just so burnt out on girl-and-boy-with-no-friends-and-instant-attraction-travelling-together as the centre of a story yknow #this random girl dies and then after she’s referring to her as her best friend but like….i didn’t get that from their single conversation. #it almost feels like shoved in last minute because of feedback of no other female friendships #when there’s finally another woman it’s the stereotype of a mean girl. and they are just calling each other bitches and whores….like jesus… #she is so one dimensional but also in concept she is 20x cooler than the mc sorry i’m rooting for her now #from the end seems like they’ll be forced to work together and probably become reluctant allies/friends in book 2 or something but like…. #if that was intended from the beginning you have to make the initial hatred make sense in the first place #also boys getting all embarrassed by periods……it’s 2023. come on. it's not cute and endearing. #if ur looking for dragons bc of the cover. there are barely dragons. the one shows up in like the last chapter #also the audiobook narration is one of those where the normal narration is a normal voice but the dialogue is so cartoony? #like the girls have such high pitched voices.the boys have the deeper voice. except for like random side boys who have comical ones. #idk none of them sound like real people #things i did like: the magic i guess. though to be quite honest the colonisers metal based magic seemed more original and interesting asdhgf #i thought there were some interesting elements to the dudes backstory #oh another thing i disliked is theres a side character with a cleft lip and the MC brings it up EVERY TIME like like.....what. #every time she sees him shes like. ppl used to discriminate #against this and call them (a bunch of slurs) and say they're cursed but actually maybe it's just a scar. people used to call them slurs btw #. i am going to bring this up every time i look at them.

[mrs-kelly]

Damn she’s really using him huh. She actually likes the other guy and is so jealous that she just went into Sawyer’s tent huh.

#yknow Kate I had nothing against you really. I got you like of course you’re into sawyer #I am too like I get it ahdkflf #but I can’t like you anymore after this like. #sawyer legitimately cares about her. but she’s just using him and #he probably knows; like he’s smart. but that’s still gonna hurt him yknow #idk I’m just being protective of him ahdjfl but he can take care of himself I know #I just keep thinking about how he wouldn’t have to deal with that drama if I was there you know ahdkfl #it’s fun to think about like. how he could watch those things happening to someone else. probably snickering about it #cuz I’d be chilling next to him while he reads a book 🥺 #maybe out loud to me… 🥺👉👈 #we’ll both talk shit about everyone else on the island together; it’ll be a blast ahdjffl #ren speaks #im gushing out here folks #lost in your eyes

[tyrianlynch]

Look. The Greywaren release is really reminding me why I usually don’t read series until they’re all out. Bc I feel like I’m on such a time crunch to reread every book since trb (and I want to I do bc it wouldn’t feel right not to after all these years!) so I can read greywaren the day it’s released with everything fresh in my mind but I have like. Other things happening in my life rn. I just haven’t gotten to it. And it’s oddly stressful.

#like my body is disintegrating #my mind is following suit #and I’m very very tired #so I just like have other stuff to do #and I’ve realized I associate trc and tdt with my youth #which isn’t a bad thing #but I’ve been in such a ptsd place the past several months that it doesn’t feel like a good thing either #and maybe rereading everything knowing this is the last release is hard #bc maybe the end of the series symbolizes the end of my youth #and consuming everything again for a final time (not a last time but a final time yknow?) feels like itll take something from me #something that I’m not ready to lose #and I have other things I’m reading that don’t feel like they’re taking anything from me #and I don’t know why it feels like such a grief to lose this series #but it’s not about the series is it? it’s about who I was when it started vs who I am now that it’s almost over #and I’m not ready to look that comparison in the mirror #sorry about this braindump #I’ll delete this later probably

[anarchofairy]

ok i’m gonna make a funny little weepy post in the tags avert your eyes

#every time i’m with e it gets better #like i’m able to let more of my walls and insecurities melt away #we’re a very odd couple. we don’t really make sense together and i have no idea why they let me keep hanging around #but i’m so *happy* with them #and like. i have had the urge to have the conversation with them about what our relationship is or could be for a while now #because the only conversation we’ve had was like a few days after we hooked up for the first time and i barely remember how that went #iirc it was like. we both like each other so let’s keep hooking up and get to know each other better #but that was 6 months ago #and i really don’t wanna upset the harmonious thing we’ve created by looking at it too hard yknow? #i would be happy to keep going as we are. i’d be happy to Date™️. i’d be happy to do something else entirely probably #ut you can’t exactly say ‘hey i like you so much i’ll be whatever you’d like to be’ #and i don’t want to ask for more and be rejected i think that would hurt me quite a bit #and i don’t want to lose them #and we have such a highly specific relationship and ritualised way of seeing each other #i’m not sure if our relationship can survive outside of that? #i’d be willing to do a shit ton to make it work. but i find it so hard to read them #i wish i knew if they had the potentials of love stirring in their insides the way i do. i just want to feel safe in their affections #i don’t know how reciprocated my affections are #there’s too many factors and we’re both too neurodivergent #anyway. i’ll just treasure my little happiness for now #and figure out my next move later #conari

[mossflower]

ok i’m gonna set an alarm but it is not the end of the world if i miss the lecture tomorrow

#i am quite frankly concerned by my attendance. i am not academic weaponing it up. i am being academically attacked #it’s fine it’s fine. i always get caught up and i’d say i’m making it to a solid three quarters of them. but it’s not ideal yknow #turns out living alone is very hard and i am oh so tired. all of the time #which yes is in part bc i’m struggling with sleeping. and also low iron is low ironing bc i’m bad at remembering to take my tablets #and social awkwardness is quite frankly reaching the point where it’s probably just actual anxiety. teebeehaitch #it’s better than it was when i first got here but uhm. not by much #even posting on here is freaking me out a bit bc i keep remembering that i have like. 1700 followers for some reason #like you’re telling me that what amounts to my diary is hypothetically being read by 1700 people. that’s fucking insane. what am i doing #like i only get a few notes on personal posts obviously but still. it kinda freaks me out #might make another blog idk. not right now i am going to have a nap <3 and hopefully attend my lectures <3 #i can hear birds singing outside. why do i keep doing this to myself #morganposting

[seimei-chsq]

…sorry i’m going to be a bitch for a second

#if you read this… ty for hearing me out and also i’m sorry #okay first off. i try to like… exercise some maturity when it comes to being a sports fan. i try not to be petty and childish. #but i’m in a petty mood today so! i apologize in advance lmao #anyways… i really think i’m going to have to filter * content from my dash. watching him land the 4A makes me feel… idk. #i’m not ~upset~ but i am… ugh. like obviously no one has exclusive rights to a jump and he hasn’t landed it in comp yet and also #it LITERALLY doesn’t matter if he lands it first or not. but in further reflection i don’t think that’s the reason i’m feeling :/ about it? #like. it’s not about who lands it first or whatever. it’s about seeing someone achieve something RELATIVELY ‘effortlessly’ #while we have to watch yz try and fail and try again and fail but fail better… it’s the nature of sports i know #and i’m so proud of yz and his determination and his hard work. i’m not discounting that!! #but afagajsksls Maybe this is just trauma from my ~gifted kid~ days when i would give something 110% and then have to watch #as my classmates achieved more than i did with half of the effort i put into it #like it’s probably that. it’s me projecting. #… idk where i’m was going with this. #yz’s 4A matters to me because when he lands it in a masterfully crafted program (and he will!!) #it will be the final jewel in the crown of his career. the 4A is just another jump to * and that’s why i don’t care about him landing it #i PROMISE i don’t harbour any ill will towards * — i wish him all the best in his career! #but i’m still going to root for my faves to come out on top yknow? #anyways! this isn’t meant to be a serious post lol. just a little venting (and if you like * that’s cool! more power to you) #okay now back to our regularly schedule programming <3

[your-local-granny]

I have totally normal relations to media.

#Reading the Most unhinged essek/caleb fic right now I think it’s tearing me apart at the seams #Tw suicide #but like. God there should have been many TWs on this fic probably and it’s. It’s getting to be a lot #but I have an issue where I just read things until they are Done. And it’s 20000 words and. GOD #I JUST WANT MY GUYS TO BE OKAY AND THIS WEEK HAS BEEN ROUGH AND ITS GETTING HARD TO NOT. RELATE THINGS TO MY LIFE YKNOW. #this would be okay if I had not been up for 19 hours. But alas #wish I could fall asleep but again. Can’t sleep until the horrors are over. And I don’t think that narratively speaking they will end anyti #The fic is quite good #like in concept. But it’s SO FUCKING SAD!!! AND NOT EVEN IN A WHINEY WAY!!! IN AN ANGRY AWFUL WAY. #I’m getting flashbacks to ATYDs why do I keep reading fic about people yelling at each other

[agenttexsflippedshit]

Remember when you could do readmore on mobile? OTL

#I have tried and I will not risk this seeing the bright side of the blog #to the shadow realm it goes #but I am being so good not buying stupid things SO good #and I am being SO tempted #but I imagine the shame of you all finding out what I bought and how much I spent #and it stays my hand #I have to be better bc student loan repayment begins in 3 months and I need to be on top of my finances #me @ god if you could just gift me like $50k rn I would be so grateful #actually scratch that if I could get $500 I would be grateful #stop the credit card payments and I could thrive and survive #current mood: thinking far too hard about being worth more dead than alive #I’m deep enough in the tags that no one’s probably reading anymore #but I almost typed the ‘okay guys I’m killing myself’ post like 3 times today #bc I’m tired! #im looking for the small joys but they can only bouy so much when everything else is just exhausting! #this is not a cry for help I am not here to beg I seek no absolution from tumblr #this is no one’s problem but my own and none of you can carry it or myself #but goddamn is this weight exhausting #yknow one day I may look back at this and laugh #things could be worse! I have a roof and hot water and air conditioning #I have a job! granted it’s the cause of 90% of my freak outs today but I have money coming in! #I just have to be better #that’s all