#i'll be fine once i see him tho... its just the Anticipation

[kaaytea]

Hinata x reader 

warnings: angst, self doubt, its just sad man, fluffy ending tho :’)

Summary: It doesn’t matter how positive you are, after a loss as devastating as this one you’re bound to doubt yourself.

A/n: I rewatched the Seijoh vs. Karasuno match from s1 recently...safe to say I totally forgot how painful it is to watch.  

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The entire gymnasium was a buzz.

The building slightly warmer than usual due to the athletes bustling back and forth like ants. Everything about this moment in time was alive, the air felt as though it were shaking from the cheers and yells echoing off the walls. The loud "thwack!" Of the ball being sent from one team to the other ignited your nerves as you helplessly watched the desperate attempts to achieve a point.

It was the 3rd set with Seijoh at match point.

You shook with anticipation, gripping onto the railing of the balcony like your life depended on it.

'They'd be fine, they can win the points back and take the set!'

A loud noise snapped you out of your thoughts.

Hinata had just spiked only to be blocked by three Seijoh players.

You watched in horror as the ball ricocheted off the block and sailed to the floor, Kageyama, Asahi, and Noya all diving for it.

Your heart sank.

It felt like you were just dropped into the middle of the ocean, the heavy water muffling all the sound around you.

Y-you just saw it wrong! Your eyes are playing a trick on you. T-they couldn't have actually-

The soul-crushing sound of a whistle reverberated around the gym.

No

Reluctantly, you looked over at Shoyo.

He was knelt on the ground unmoving, it looked as though all life had been stripped from him leaving an empty vessel behind.

The burning sensation behind your eyes built as Karasuno looked up to thank the crowd. The pressure in your head increased as you fought the urge to cry.

You knew if he saw you cry he would feel a thousand times worse, so you mustered all your strength to resist.

Shoyo avoided you for the rest of the time the team was at the gym, which was fine with you.

He needed to be with his team right now, he needed to be with his brothers.

It was around 9 now, you were starting to get worried. Shoyo still hadn't contacted you.

No call or text....nothing.

Shoyo makes it a point to text you by 8 o'clock every night to make sure you've eaten and wish you sweet dreams; he's never skipped a day. Since the day you accepted his confession his nightly texts have been a constant in your life, something was very very wrong.

In a moment of impulse, you were grabbing a hoodie from you closet and slipping on some worn sneakers. You called out to your mom Telling her where you were off too then you were out the door.

The chilly night air stung your nose as you hurried down the street in the direction of Shoyo's.

You knew he would be heartbroken over the loss but you expected him to at least say something to you, this was definitely not his usual behavior.

You walked up to the front door of the Hinata household. Usually, the home held a warm, welcoming atmosphere; the sunny personalities of the three people residing in it pouring out of the doors and windows. You hadn't even entered the house yet but you could feel an immediate difference, it felt like all joy had been erased or a large, gray storm cloud had blocked all light out.

Hesitantly, you reached up and knocked on the door. You felt like you were gonna explode from all the suspense.

A wave of warm air and light hit you when the door opened. Hinata's mother looked at you with a sad expression and hurried you inside.

"He's been sitting on the back porch for hours," she whispered leading you into the main room, "He wouldn't even eat his dinner."

Now that was concerning.

"I'll talk to him," his mom squeezed your shoulder reassuringly then left to go put Natsu to bed.

You took a deep breath and pushed open the sliding door that led to the back, tentatively stepping out and closing the door quietly behind you.

He was sitting on the edge of the wooden platform, knees drawn to his chest and head resting on his arms.

You sat next to him, your feet hanging off the platform, occasionally your shoulders would brush.

Everything was quiet, aside from the chorus of crickets singing away in the night and a sniffle from the boy beside you every now and then.

You turned your attention up to the sky, leaning back on your hands to watch the clouds lazily creep over the twinkling stars.

"It doesn't feel fair does it?" You breathed out.

You turned to your right to see him peeking out from where he hid his face in his arms, you could just see his eyes, red and glimmering with unshed tears.

"You come so close to your dream, it's right there in front of you just a few steps away... But when you reach out you can't go near it, it's like...it’s like there's a glass wall separating you from that goal. You can see it, it's right there staring you in the face but you can't grab it...and you're forced to just watch."

You felt Shoyo scoot closer to you and you could see tufts of fluffy, orange hair in your peripheral vision as he layed his head against you. You wrapped your arm around his shoulders holding him as close as you could.

"It's my fault," he meekly whispered, "If only I had made that final spike."

Hot tears ran down his face spilling onto your hands as you attempted to wipe them away.

"Sho.." you turned and cupped his face in your hands, his cheeks were damp and blotchy and his lip quivered as he tried to hold back tears. "I don't want you to ever think it's your fault... What happened, happened and there's nothing you can do to change that now."

"Your team has only played together for a few months and look at how far all of you have come...look at how much you've grown as a player in this short time. Think of what you guys are gonna accomplish once you've really synced up, think of how much more you'll be able to do once you start understanding and using your potential... because you have it in you Sho, you're meant to fly! I just know it..."

At this point, his quiet tears had transitioned to hiccups and choked sobs. He wrapped his arms around your neck and tucked his head into your chest. You both sat there like that for a bit, your hands running up and down his back in attempts to calm him down.

Those sentences pierced your heart. Hinata Shoyo was one who always looked to improve and challenge himself, hearing the fear and doubt in his voice broke you.

"D-do you really believe that?" He rasped out, the words slightly muffled from his position against your chest. "Do y-you really think that? Do you really think I'll ever be able to get as g-good as everyone else?"

"Of course I do! You love Volleyball don't you?" You felt him nod against you, "Well, as long as you love it and put your heart and soul into what you do you have the potential to become anything."

You placed one of your hands on his head, playing with the soft waves in his vibrant hair.

"Sho look at me"

He pulled away from your chest and stared you in the eyes. You reached out to brush the last remaining tears from his warm cheeks then held his hands in your lap.

"One day there’s gonna be kids who'll be in the same position as you are now, kids who love Volleyball with all their being but are cast aside for not being tall, or fast, or powerful...and you know who they're going to look to for inspiration?"

He furrowed his brows, "Who?"

You let out a small laugh, "You silly! Kids just like you are gonna hear your story and feel inspired, they'll push themselves to be just as good as you and never give up on volleyball because of that."

He looked down and mindlessly played with your fingers, "You really think I can do that?"

"I know you can do that."

He smiled then pulled you into a hug, he felt much more relaxed and at ease now.

"Thank you"

You turned your head to kiss his cheek.

"You're welcome Shoyo."

#haikyuu!! #hinata x reader #shōyō hinata #hinata shoyo #hinata #hinata fluff #hinata angst #haikyuu x reader #hinata scenario #hinata imagine #hinata oneshot #hq x reader #hinata x y/n #hinata x you #haikyuu #hq #haikyū!!