#i'm sure i'll cool down to a more calm bitterness on this eventually but for right now i've just read the post and my initial reaction

[here-there-were-dragons]

just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead

fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.

"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,

but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?

and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.

and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!

i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.

Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?

the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.

more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.

#flight rising #how do i always and only end up in fandoms where either the fans or the creators or the fans and the creators #are downright insufferable crypto-conservative nutjobs of the type who tend to think justifying suicide baiting is ever okay #i'm sure i'll cool down to a more calm bitterness on this eventually but for right now i've just read the post and my initial reaction #is still Burning Hot #you have touched upon a trigger subject and I Am Very Angry #the stupid school dress code-ass clothing rules is dumb but wouldn't have gotten much out of me other than an eye roll on it's own #but no scars? no sign of past injury? no implication of disability? no uggos basically? #everyone else who is angry is focusing on the dumb dress code rules when this bullshit is right fucking there #the experience of being an fr player all these years has been a slow building of papercut after papercut #with everyone telling you it's not that bad #until you're the unreasonable one for being so angry over 'just a papercut' #and you have no good way to tell them that it's been 'just a papercut' over and over and over again for *years* #and you would very much like if the chill thing that's supposed to be a low-investment de-stressor would STOP GIVING YOU PAPERCUTS #i don't know how much i can give the benefit of doubt anymore

[sicjimin]

A.N : just 11,000+ words of Yoongi being sick (i'm sorry baby). gonna make this a series if anyone is interested 🤪 and i'm sorry for everyone that not into mpreg ....... i just. had this in my mind and i need to let it out.

TW : emeto, graphic description of vomiting, mpreg

Yoongi truly was trying his best to hold it. To hold back from his food coming right up and ignore how bad his stomach-churning. He bites his inner cheeks. It feels like someone had put his gastric on a rollercoaster. Turning and swirling mercilessly.

"Hyung?", Jungkook voices snapped him out of his misery.

" Huh?"

"Are you okay? You look pale. and you're sweating bunch" Yoongi blinks.

Yoongi gulps down the faint taste of his lunch that want to make a reappearance. He could feel his stomach drop. His heartbeat was faster than usual in fear that if he ate, he's surely going to vomit. He can almost smell the bile burning at the back of his throat, begging for entrance. But he didn't want to throw up, because if he did, it will his second time today. The first one was right after he woke up, scrambling through the tangled blanket and throwing everything he ate for dinner up. Getting a furrowed brows from Seokjin the moment he opened the bathroom door with bloodshot eyes and sniffles, "You're sick, Yoongichi?".

It took him a lot to convince Seokjin to let him go with him to work like always. Promising that it won't get worse and that maybe he just ate something bad. But it seems like his promise bites him in the ass.

The other boy is staring at him, concern clear in the crease between his brows. "Hyung"

Yoongi blinks again. "Yea yea. I'm fine".

Jungkook doesn't seem convinced. "Are... are you sure?", The younger asks again.

Yoongi nods slowly, taking deep breaths to calm himself. "Yeah", he exhales, " Do you know where Seokjin-hyung is?", he suddenly says, desperate to distract himself from the feeling churning inside him.

"He was with hobi-hyung earlier", Jungkook says, " i think they will come back here soon"

Yoongi nods again. He really hopes so. He needs his boyfriend's presence. He's not sure if he could stay here anymore longer. Yoongi lay his head back against the cool meeting table, "wake me up if Jin-hyung comes", he mumbles to Jungkook.

" You sure you're okay hyung?" Jungkook asked.

Yoongi smiles, trying so hard to reassure the other boy. "I'm fine Kookie", he assured him once more.

" Okay," Jungkook replied, " If you say so." The younger smiled sweetly before going off to talk about something again with Tae and Jimin.

Yoongi didn't know how long he has dozed off. He's slipping in and out of consciousness as he just feels way worse than earlier. Nausea has become so overwhelming, it makes him dizzy. He's not sure if he could go to the bathroom without fainting. So instead, he keeps his eyes shut, waiting to fall asleep again.

"Yoongichi, hey", A familiar voice, followed by a cool touch tucking his hair back snapped Yoongi back to reality.

He opens his eyes blearily to see a blurry figure standing over him.

"Hyung", Yoongi says through his gritted teeth. He couldn't open his mouth wide, or else it's not words that gonna come out. He can already feel tears welling up behind his eyes.

Seokjin crouches beside him, and reaches out his hand towards Yoongi's forehead.

"What happened?", Seokjin asks, concern clearly written all over his face.

But Yoongi could barely focus. He's just too damn nauseous.

"I dont feel well," Yoongi started before stopping, taking a deep breath to try and regain some control over his own breathing, "Feel like i'm going to pu—"

A sudden rush of nausea hit him like a truck.

"Fuck", he cursed under his breath, pressing his fist on his lips. The sour taste on his tongue made his head spin.

" Are you going to be sick?", Seokjin said worriedly. His hand rests on Yoongi's shoulder. Trying to help ground him.

Yoongi don't want to nods, afraid that the slightest movement will make him puke all over this place. "I need a bathroom", he breathes out.

Suddenly, Seokjin was right in front of him, blocking Yoongi's sight.

"Okay, Okay", he says softly, " I'll take you there", he then took Yoongi's arm in his hand.

The younger felt the blood rushing to his head as his body shuddered violently the moment he stand up. He can't help but gag over his palm. The acid taste of his own stomach revolted into his mouth. The thought of throwing up brought chills to the older boy's spine. "Come on, only a few steps, okay?", Seokjin spoke.

Yoongi nodded weakly. He didn't want to throw up in the hall or meeting room. Not with all the eyes that ready to look at him.

Walks to the bathroom feel like walking through a few kilometers trip. But somehow they make it.

Once the door closes, Yoongi immediately rushes to the toilet. Seokjin trailed behind him, circling his arms against Yoongi's midsection to prevent him dived down to the bowl as his body lurch.

Yoongi squeezes his eyes shut when he feels liquid climbing up to his throat, resulting in a gurgling sound that is followed by a rush of brown liquid. It splashing against the clear water.

The sound echoes inside the bathroom walls. Yoongi gasps, coughing lightly as a result of the unpleasant texture that was making its way down to his throat. Yoongi couldn't wait any further.

He vomits. Harder than he expected. Seokjin winces when he could feel Yoongi's stomach jerked against his forearm.

" Yoongichi, you're doing great. Just let it out", he says softly, rubbing his chest gently with one hand.

Yoongi tries to swallow, but it didn't work.

The blonde-haired boy could feel his throat getting tighter with every retch. It seems like his body was so eager to let out everything as a liquid after liquid keep pouring out of his lips. He could see the toilet already half-filled with his stomach.

He feels lightheaded. His vision starts to blur and he can feel sweat dripping all over his body. He pants for air when his stomach gave him a break. His hand shakily flushes the toilet.

"Are you done baby?", Seokjin whispered to him, brushing his hair away from his sweat-damp forehead.

Yoongi shakes his head no, weakly, still panting from the aftermath of vomiting. " Still queasy", he croaked out.

Seokjin looks into Yoongi's eyes with worry, his gaze softening as Yoongi's breathing evened itself out a bit. "Do you want to go to the doctor?", The older asks.

Again Yoongi shakes his head no before he groans and turning himself back facing the toilet. Opening his mouth as a gag immediately erupted as he heaved the last few mouthfuls of what he had in.

Seokjin quickly grabbed hold of Yoongi, rubbing circles on his back comfortingly.

Eventually, the fit passed.

It felt awful.

" Hyung .. let's go home", Yoongi pants, "i really don't feel well"

Yoongi stood unsteadily. His legs felt unstable underneath him. He wanted nothing more than to fall down to his knees and cry because he feels so sick. His mouth taste bland and bitter, his stomach feels like it's on knot and he feels incredibly weak and exhausted and-

"Okay baby, let's go home", Seokjin says, sliding his arms on the younger waist because he's sure that the latter will fall off if he didn't do that. and Yoongi just did the same, grabs onto the elder's arms tightly. Holding onto them as if he would slip through if his grasp was loosened.

Yoongi ended up throwing up again in the car, even though that would look more like puking up bile and water since he barely eats anything.

" I think we really need to go to the doctor, Yoongichi", Seokjin states as he massages Yoongi's nape that drenched in cold sweats as he busy heaving his guts out into the bag. Only managed to let out a trickle of yellow liquid.

"No .. i just want to sleep hyung", Yoongi replies in between his shaky breaths.

Seokjin sighs softly, "But you're so sick baby, you've been throwing up all day", he tells the younger firmly. He knew Yoongi wouldn't have agreed to go to the doctor anyway.

"Please..." the younger begged quietly, "I am tired".

The elder looks into Yoongi's eyes, seeing the tiredness and fatigue, and decides to finally give Yoongi the chance to rest for a bit. " Okay", Seokjin sighs, pulling the younger closer to his chest, "Let's rest up for the day. If you didn't get any better tomorrow then we will go to the hospital, okay?"

"Thank you", Yoongi mutters, letting himself relax. It felt good to be cuddled close to Seokjin. It calmed him down a little.

After they parked in the driveway, Seokjin carried Yoongi to their shared bedroom. Carefully laying down Yoongi on the bed, Seokjin pulls the duvet up over Yoongi before sitting next to him.

" You up for some soup?", he asks.

Yoongi shakes his head no, closing his eyes again while snuggling himself closer to Seokjin.

Seokjin sighed. Of course Yoongi wasn't up for it. "Porridge?", he tried.

Yoongi shook his head again, burrowing himself deeper under the blanket.

"Crackers?"

Still no response.

Seokjin sighed. Looks down at Yoongi curled on his side. "Sleep then, we'll talk about it after your stomach settles," he told him before leaning down and pecking the younger boy on the forehead, "Love you, hyung"

--

"That's it Yoongi, we're going to the hospital and i don't want to argue", Seokjin said sternly.

Yoongi just closed his eyes, humming in response as he trying to catch his breath. He could feel Seokjin's wiping his wet lips from saliva and cleaning his palm from vomit he couldn't hold back earlier. Its still 5 AM, and just like yesterday, Yoongi woke up like he was on the boat that was currently in the middle of a storm, his stomach going up and down, tossing and turning until his sleepy daze decided he need to run to the bathroom or he will make Seokjin clear their sheets, of course, he opted for the first option. But apparently, his stomach couldn't hold hack for long—that it had to make him puked before he managed to reach the toilet, spilling the porridge he managed to get down last night down to his palm and a trickle of it on the floor.

So now, Yoongi is being forced to sit on the passenger seat of Seokjin's car, trying to fight the nausea and the dizziness that kept attacking him from within, trying not to let it overwhelm him. He is already pale, his skin has become quite pallid.

Seokjin's crooked fingers brushing through his clenched fist, rubbing it softly to offers some comfort.

"Few minutes again, are you doing fine?", Seokjin asks, glancing his way for a good second. Yoongi shifts on his seat, "Do you think i will die hyung?"

Seokjin almost slammed the break. "What the fuck Yoongi, you can't just say that"

Yoongi let out an airy laugh, grin plastered on his face, "Ohhh you love me so bad"

"I just don't want to search for another boyfriend. It's tiring", Seokjin shrugs, his fingers tapping on the steering wheels, " Or maybe, i could ask Namjoon to had me back. I heard he hasn't put eyes on anyone after being with me", Seokjin adds nonchalantly, gaining a slap from Yoongi, complete with a pinch on his arms that makes him yelps.

"Fuck off you're not going anywhere", Yoongi mumbles, leaning his head back on the window as his lips are still in a form of pout.

"Stop pouting or i will have to kiss you"

"Kiss your steering wheel"

---

"Hey, we have your prescription here", the nurse smiled. Her short blond hair swaying from side to side when she walks.

Seokjin nods his head in approval.

The nurse gives Yoongi his prescription bag. Yoongi takes it reluctantly. Still stunned with the convo they just had with the doctor.

" I think you went to the wrong doctor, Yoongi-ssi and Seokjin-ssi", the doctor states, gaining a confused frown from them both. The mid-age man chuckles, "I would recommend you to the ob-gyn. That's where are you supposed to get checked on, even though i could give you a brief explanation and some temporary medication for your symptoms now"

"Uhm, i'm sorry sir, i think i'm not following you?", Seokjin opened his mouth, voicing for Yoongi's confusion too.

The doctor chuckles again, " Yoongi-ssi, there's no disease nor sickness in your body. If it's any 'something', that's your baby", the doctor explains slowly, the smile hasn't left his face.

Yoongi blinks multiple times in realization, " Oh."

The two boys stare at each other blankly.

A pregnant pause followed.

" What?" Yoongi says.

" What?", Seokjin replied. "You mean-"

"Yes, Yoongi-ssi here is 5 weeks along. Congratulations for both of you"

#bts sickfic #bts emeto #tw emeto #tw vomit #sick!yoongi #caretaker!seokjin #and again another mpreg fic

[whosaskingwrites]

The Sound Of Love (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: Um I don't like this one as much as the others but I did my best. It honestly took forever cause I didn't want to write it and I had no idea what song to use but I eventually decided so here we are.

WARNINGS: angst

Date: Saturday November 7th, 2020

Details: 5.3 pages 2,000 words

Theme: Musicalia- The victim will hear a song constantly playing in their head until it drives them insane. The person of affection will only hear the music when they are around the victim.

Angst Masterlist

Clair De Lune

A simple, beautiful piano melody that had been repeating in my head for weeks. There was never a reprieve from the beautifully haunting melody. My mind followed the sound like a moth to a flame and deteriorated the closer it got to the music.

No amount of holding my hands over my ears stopped it. It had become a part of me like the backround music in a video game or movie. However this wasn't a video game or a movie this was real. Every day was the same never a rest I couldn't even sleep some nights.

This was my last week at Karasuno before I was put in the hospital. My mind was too far gone to stay out I couldn't really hear anything anymore to distracted by the music and of course I hummed it on occasion. Everyone in my classes knew I had it...Musicalia but they didn't know who caused it.

Monday

I walked to class with a sigh Yamaguchi was following and as we walked I heard a gentle piano melody that got louder. I spotted a familiar H/c haired girl fast walking past me like she'd done since I pushed her away. Yamaguchi followed my eyesight and the music faded the further away she got "you should apologize you know. This week is her last at Karasuno," I blinked 'her last week?' I thought "Shut up Yamaguchi," I said keeping my emotions off my face "Sorry Tsukki," I continued watching the S/c skinned female rush off down the hall.

Tuesday

I was walking up to the roof ready to reject another girl. Why they felt the need to confess to me of all people id never understand. As I rounded the corner someone ran into me and with a short shriek they fell. I was about to say something when I noticed who it was...Y/n she looked paler than I remembered and eye bags were prevalent on her face. I heard the piano again it was louder than ever.

"Do you need to listen to music that loud?" I asked though it was harsher than intended. Her eyes widened and I held back a frown as I saw she was afraid. "S-sorry," she stood up quickly and ran off down the hall the music fading the further she got and I watched 'why was she afraid of me?' My eyes caught something on the floor which I turned to. Picking it up I realized it was a simple gold bracelet with a dinosaur charm on it.

"This is...," It was the bracelet id given her three years ago on her birthday. It was still in perfect condition looking like it did on the day I'd given it to her and it caused a small smile to pull at my lips as I pocketed the familiar bracelet.

Wednesday

Everytime I spotted the e/c eyed female in the hallway and approached her she would turn and run the music following her. Nobody ever seemed bothered by the piano it was almost like they didn't hear it and Y/n was never wearing headphones when it was playing. "Does she ever stop listening to that song?" I mumbled to myself as she ran away yet again.

"What song?" Yamaguchi asked next to me I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at him. "What do you mean what song? That damn piano music she's always listening to it's annoying," I said and Yamaguchi’s eyes widened "Tsukki...She's not listening to any music...," He stated.

I blinked as I processed what that meant "No ive heard it-," Yamaguchi cut me off before I could continue he had a sad look in his eyes and as he spoke I realized why. "She's got Musicalia Tsukki...," He whispered as he looked at me. "She...She what?" I asked. "She's got Musicalia and if you can hear it that means...," my own eyes widened as I realized what he was implying. "Oh...,"

Thursday

Cornering someone who was avoiding you was much more difficult than you'd think. Everytime I ended up even in the same room as her she ran before I could even get near her. "Yamaguchi," I stated causing him to jump. "Yeah?" He nervously asked. "Can you convince Y/n to meet you on the roof?" I asked. He didn't ask any questions he just nodded mumbling a quiet yeah as the teacher walked in the room.

I stood on the roof looking out towards the gym. I heard footsteps come around the corner and stop before they slowly started backing away. "Can you stop running? I need to talk to you," I said. The footsteps stopped and I turned around. Y/n stood a few feet away nervously shuffling on her feet.

"When were you gonna tell me?" I asked and she sighed "Preferably never," She answered and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Never? This could kill you!" I took a step toward her while she took one back "So what?" She spit bitterly rasing her head up to glare. "So what? So everything!" I shouted.

"So everything? You dont even fucking like me! You made that pretty clear last year!" She yelled back. She was referencing an argument that I barely remembered and that she hadn't forgotten. "Do you even know what its like to have your heart crushed in seconds!?" She screamed. "You still should have told me you have Musicalia!" I glared back. 

She just gave me a bitter smile "I suppose my dear this was how it was meant to be," she stretched her arms out as she spoke and tears dripped down her face at a slow pace. "You dying isn't how it's supposed to be!" She only shook her head in response. I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out the bracelet. "Here...just take this back," I said holding it out. She walked forward and I heard that gentle and haunting music get louder.

She stopped closing my hand around the bracelet and leaning up to press a kiss against my cheek. "Keep it I won't have a use for it much longer," she mumbled before turning and walking off. "Y/n!" She stopped but didn't turn around and I continued speaking. "I love you," she sighed and turned her head. The sunset cast her in an ethereal glow and sparkled off the remaining tears on her face.

She gave a sad, watery smile in response. "No you don't Tsukki. If you did...You would have come back to me a lot sooner," she turned and left I knew she was right but god it hurt to hear her say that. My hand was still tightly closed around the bracelet the metal uncomfortably warm against my skin as she walked away from me.

Friday

She avoided me even more. I never saw her but I heard the music following around on occasion. After yesterday I had looked for the melody finally hearing it long enough to search for it. The results had told me the song was Clair De Lune I should have known. It was Y/n's favorite song though I doubted she liked it now.

I had tried to find her when I heard the music but even if I followed it I never found her. I was walking toward my locker keeping an ear out for that melody. As I opened the locker a f/c envelope fell out as I picked it up I noticed it was sealed with a gold wax stamp. Flipping it over my name was written on the front in flowing cursive. I put it away in my bag before heading to practice.

I flipped the envelope around in my hand staring at it before sighing. I pulled open the envelope and slipped the contents out. The first was a photo of me, Y/n, and Yamaguchi we were standing in the park in the photo. Y/n and Yamaguchi had their arms over eachothers shoulders while I stood in the background glaring towards the camera.

The other thing was a letter that I was hesitant to flip open. I knew the letter was from Y/n but I for the first time felt afraid on what she had to say. Sighing I opened the letter ready to read it.

Dear Kei,

It's been awhile hasn't it? Though That's what happens after fights. You give each other time to calm down and then you come back. Only this time...There is no coming back. You already know I have Musicalia and I'm sure you know I love you. It's weird to write that to someone you know doesn't love you.

Don't lie either. You don't love me the way I love you. You may think you do but if you had we would have been friends again by now. But you were perfectly content with not having me in your life so I know you'll be fine when I'm actually gone.

That's the issue isn't it? I'll be gone soon really, truly...gone. I'm not afraid knowing my death is approaching im...content and at peace with it. My death won't be glorious. I'm not going out with a bang. Or any final inspirational words. I'll go quietly in my sleep hopefully. Sleep however is hard when there's music constantly playing on loop in your head.

When I'm gone Kei...Will you visit me? Tell me about your day or the volleyball team! Yamaguchi told me about the team you should go easier on them. You should also learn from them you know? Anyways if you ever can't make it to me...Play Clair De Lune and I'll go to you! I'll listen to you talk at your place instead of you coming to mine!

I'm sure you know by now that this is my goodbye letter. Don't act so suprised of course I want to say goodbye to you. You're important to me you should know that. I've written this for awhile but I wanted it to be a good final goodbye since its immortalized forever in a letter. If you share this with anyone I'll kill you by the way. Even in death I still have a reputation. Anyway...

Goodbye Kei

I love you

—Y/n L/n

A month had passed since she said goodbye I moved forward even though it hurt to not see her around school. It almost felt like she moved but that imagine was ruined whenever I visited her grave. "Hey Tsukki I didn't know you liked dinosaurs!" I sighed in irritation my eyes flicking towards Kuroo who was pointing at my wrist.

"Wow that's cool!" Bokuto joined in and my eyes drifted to the golden bracelet around my wrist. "It's not mine," I stated drinking my water. "Whos is it?" Akaashi asked and I sighed again. "My friend Y/n’s...She's gone now and I'd rather not talk about it," I said standing up and heading back to the net. None of them said anything more about it and I was grateful for that.

Later that night I closed my eyes and played the song that I had grown very familiar with. It was quiet except for the soft melody playing through my headphones. While my eyes were closed I felt the familiar pressure on my body like someone was laying on my chest. If I listened through my headphones close enough I could almost hear her soft voice humming the song. 

I knew in my brain it was impossible but for now I let my heart believe that it was her. I talked quietly about anything and everything that came to mind. The team was sleeping so I knew I could talk freely most of them slept like they were in a coma. I sighed as I reached the end of my story before I spoke once more.

"I miss you Y/n,"

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