#idk if any of this makes sense like this sorry if im bad at making sense im tired and hhhh. but honestly im just going to post this anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-meme-monarch · 1 year

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Can you explain Strange Someone Frisk’s motivations a bit more? I don’t really understand how they could go from being a nice supportive kid to tampering with things in DR

well frisk Does appear to be nice and nonviolent even without the SOUL’s control (sans saying “even when you ran away you did it with a smile” and seemingly feeling guilty for taking more than one piece of candy (the bowl tipping over and the narration saying “you felt like the scum of the earth”(unless that’s just chara trying to guilt them/you)) and we know from deltarune that while the SOUL controls what frisk and kris do, where they walk and what they say, it doesn’t control how they say things, like kris saying things sarcastically/confusedly/as a joke when it’s a choice they don’t particularly agree with (like the “perish” being said enthusiastically, or saying they’d go to the festival w ralsei or noelle and not sounding like the Actually Want To).

and similarly to kris ithink ss frisk feels. lost. without the soul. in the context of the au, frisk doesn’t remember anything before falling into mt ebott. idk it’d they even remember their life before that day. idk if they even had one. they maybe convinced themself that they were literally made for their role, and didn’t exist before then. maybe them causing problems through the secret bosses is them trying to get the SOUL’s attention, bc the SOUL’s influence is all they know, and they know the SOUL is here now.

they’re messed up in a similar fashion as jevil and spamton (and presumably the other secret bosses we have yet to meet) but where as they were Told by frisk about their roles as characters in a story, and jevil’s method of coping being that he’s “free”, and spamton’s is by trying to escape, frisk was made aware by their firsthand experience, and has turned to telling the secret bosses. and well, while i don’t know Why frisk would let this knowledge upon them when they’d been previously kindhearted, maybe it has to do w like. their life being entirely upended by the game ending and being shunted out of that universe as a result. maybe they feel cheated. maybe they feel that doing good isn’t worth it. maybe they feel like they can’t do good without the SOUL telling them to do so. maybe they don’t even realize or think that what they’re doing is causing harm, maybe they think that telling them What’s Really Up is a good thing. they did actually help spamton, for a time.

think that makes flowey’s plea for the player not to reset, to leave the game alone let frisk have their happy ending, kinda. ironic. not that resetting Would Have done them any favors either.

also if i was made fully aware that my life was little more than a means to tell a story i think I’d snap a little bit too. my life is a game maybe I am tired of being nice, maybe I do just want to go apeshit. maybe I’ll cause some problems on purpose

#also this reminded me. on the comic w ss frisk and flowey talking and frisk thinking they don’t deserve a happy ending anymore #frisk forgives him but not themself bc of their differing circumstances #frisk feels like now that they’re doing Bad Things after having don’t Good Things that weren’t their own choices that they just. arent good #they KNOW what it’s like to do good. they HAVE done good. now they arent #frisk hasn’t been told how trauma can effect poeple and that healing isn’t linear. sad ! /ref #flowey was able to undo the harm he did at a moments notice when he would save and reset. he can’t anymore and hes doing better now. he’s a #he’s acknowledged his wrongdoings and worked to fix them post game #i couldn’t really get into that bc i lost the canvas in A Cropping Accident #sorry I’m beginning to feel incoherent idk if any of what im saying or have said makes any sense #i have a commission to work on and i have been here typing for like half an hour!!! goodbye now #the monarch’s court

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purgemarchlockdown · 6 months

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Thinking about cycles again...

#sorry was looking at Cool Games and now in Cycle Mode #anyway are y'all normal about being trapped in cycles?#I think about Muu a lot actually around this #it's like- Muu's trapped in her own self-destructive behaviors and toxic environment #she cant really Leave the School and yet she cant really change it either #she does the queen bee stuff as a way to 'escape' the bullying and be given love but it really its just another web she's trapped in #Muu causes her own destruction but the only reason Why she's in a situation that causes her to react like that is because #of a toxic and unhealthy environment that no one can really get out of #there's this one really good quote from one of my favorite shows about how no one can really foster healthy relationships in the school #everyone is in because the environment is simply so hostile to any sort of possible healthy connection between people #its not just that bad behavior its encouraged its that good behavior is Discouraged #if that makes sense #idk im just in a cycle mood again

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skunkes · 1 year

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learning some more

#it seems like my brain got upset with me like if you're just going to be crying over some specific things im going to take them from you #and lock them away #sorry for life just like video game description but it feels like when you reach the invisible wall on the end of the map #i cant even mentally access what was making me cry for 3 weeks anymore/atm #which is....gooooood?#in some parts...but bad in others...#id been talking about this on priv but im also experiencing a sort of self amnesia #where my brain keeps going back to weird mindsets.#like. when i think about relationships now im like 'hmm i dont knowww...idk how i feel about providing affection and care...feels weird'#'like maybe it isnt for me'#when i literally just learned im the most gushy worshipping guy ever (+ enjoy it)...like...why am i forgetting!!!! this is so weird!#idk if that makes any sense! is the brain trying to protect me from venturing out again...idk #talkys #also yay more brainlet skunker

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meatbricks · 3 months

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hi friend!!!!!

not sure if you’ve ever answered this before (i’m sleepy as hell and currently searching for your fanfictions 👀) but do you think your painter could be *reformed?* if that even possible? and maybe not reformed per say, but ever come to terms with their actions? ever truly understand or even care about what they’re doing?

and could reform be found via a romantic relationship? love u!!! /pla

DUDE OMG HI!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for the question, ilyt!!(/platonic)

but to answer your question!! i think that he does understand the suffering he's causing? and unfortunately i think thats what makes him continue to do it.. like. he does it specifically because the suffering he causes has some Inherent Artistic Value™ to him (really just because he personally enjoys it but he pretends it's some kind of Artistic Statement™); like. he deliberately looks for the community's reactions to his crimes (that's how he found out about that one police sketch LMAO) for the sole purpose of trying to figure out how much worse he can make things for everyone around him (that's why the crimes keep getting more and more horrific each time)

as a result of that. yeah no i don't think he could be reformed... i think that suffering has been part of his life for so long (both his own and others') that a life without it wouldn't really seem worth living for him.. even with whatever the hell he has going on with bruteforce, he's just kinda. irreparably obsessed with human suffering

#this is the answer (ooc)#this is the answer #these are the headcanons #this is the writing #🖌#🪓#urbanspook #the painter urbanspook #urbanspook analog horror #idk whether to tag this as x reader or not LMAOO #also sorry if this is incomprehensible i wrote this at 12:30 AM #but yeah tldr i think its a little too late to redeem painter (or bruteforce for that matter)#like. a lot of the point of my characterization of them is that they're irredeemable but still human #not in the sense that they feel bad for what they do? but in the sense that they do stuff that people who aren't serial killers do #aside from all the crimes they commit #like. if you lived in this town you'd probably run into one of these guys in the grocery store #THAT'S what makes them so scary imo #like. that one statistic from the poughkeepsie tapes #where they mention that there are at least/over(?) 50 active serial killers in the USA at any given moment #thats the kind of logic im operating on here #idk what the hell im trying to say here. i just think this question was neat okay #i think it allowed some interesting introspection into the horror of these two as serial killers #also the person who asked this is my best friend in the whole world and you should totally follow them btw

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gaydexvocaloid · 1 month

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nvm just saw one of my friends mock the fact that people like a character who is a Conventionally Attractive White Woman so i think i'm entirely justified in my paranoia

im gonna be fr and i don’t mean this 2 be malicious at ur friend, jst my genuine opinion ;;; but imo people who judge others just based on characters they like ( as long as the character isn’t inherently shit like rac/st or smth yk ) aren’t the best ppl.. i’m so sorry you’re around people who’ve made you b paranoid about just what characters you like T__T like there r so many other problems in the world and they choose to worry themselves abt what other ppl like.. likeee???.. it just sucks your worries aren’t just “worries” ,,, u deserve better ppg anon T_T

#asks #wish i could do smth to help u ppg anon..#IMO if i were in your position and i had a friend who mocked people just bc of things like that #i’m the type to distance myself from them #obv idk this person but just if i were in a similar situation #i’m gonna repeat myseld tho and say plssss don’t feel bad abt liking aurum #they’re a great charafter and tonnnnss of people like him #it’s nothing 2 be ashamed abt <33 #ngl it just kinda seems like this friend has nothing else to think abt T___T #ALSO I HOPE IM MAKING SENSE I JUST WOKE UP #SO SORRY IF ANY OF THIS IS WORDED WEIRD

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brickwoods-amusement-park · 2 months

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i was thinking about the bap crew parents again and I Haven't shared much info about them </33 long story short the majority of them are in a Messy polycule (only messy bc malcolm (sophia's dad) doesn't really tell his wife (penelope) about it and also he and penelope dont actually love each other (dont get married to appease your dad who's sorta in charge of a cult guys))

but anyways. nic (rebecca's dad) has had an on and off relationship w/ malcolm in which he's tried to convince malcolm to leave the cult and Not to raise children in that hell (he. did not listen <3) so thats Really messy (nic is really in love with malcolm and juliet (rebecca's mom) knows this and is okay w/ it but she also wishes that malcolm would listen too (she cares about him) but also malcolm is really repressed with how he actually feels about nic and wont admit how much he loves him) (oh and nic and malcolm met and were bffs when malcolm was younger and was allowed out of the cult to meet other people and thats when their relationship started (and a wife. yk))

also nic & juliet are dating blair's dad (jason) and they are healthy !! <33 very lovely and loving however jason's wife (maria) is not a good person :( and they don't have a loving relationship however she's aware of jason's relationships and despite the fact that they've talked about the relationships and are Supposed to be open, she doesn't tell jason about her hookups with other people (including her kinda-sorta-not-really relationship with penelope- who also doesn't mention anything to malcolm)

anyways that was a lot of info on people yall Do Not know and wont be Main parts of the show tbh but if yall have questions i would love to hear them i've made up so much unnecessary lore for them </3

#bap rambles #bap: families #im procrastinating hw rn so this is just fast and silly lol #and yeah sorry there's cheating and stuff. i dont condone that shit btw. just saying.#but they are toxic and there are sad themes to the show so </3 #oh and parents not mentioned here:#joyce and link- davids moms. very happy and amazing i love them #(they are also friends with most all the parents and support nic attempting to get malcolm to leave the cult)#(except i think nic wouldn't Say cult. but he would say like “bad situation” bc he doesn't want to betray malcolm's trust)#and also not mentioned: sunni's mom Lolita </3 #she's Bad. sunni doesn't call her mom (would call her lola when he was younger) but yeah she wasn't so great :(#but she's also not part of this mess Entirely soo i didn't need to mention her lol #okay. idk if Any of this makes sense but im tired so Post !

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xamaxenta · 1 year

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It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way

This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow

but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month

None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion

#like i should be doing more #im very sorry for complaining so much online #i just dont really have any other way to express myself #i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear #but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter #matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal #but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time #i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to #but i also want to if that makes any sense at all #i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally #i want to stop being toxic towards myself #i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way #but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up #I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it #doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling #it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard #this is so woe is me #im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create #and i have none like thats so unfair #this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it #i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again #please im done i just dont want to

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spinoff-antithesis · 1 year

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[@distinguished-turtle-enjoyer ]

i actually have not stopped thinkin bout your bb!edit like,,,, its so good and scratches my brain right

how long have you been doin edits for? do have any tips for someone, who hypothetically, wants to start doin edits too? what programs do you use? how did you do the cool animated bits?

im so sorry for all the qustions 😭😭 i just think youre very talented and inspirational and i hope you have a good day ^_^

hi firstly oh my gosh you're literally so sweet i am gently shaking you i love you so much /p. secondly, i apologize for the long answer! (it's all under the cut. this got away from me. i'm so sorry apparently i have a lot to say.) (also you're so good about the questions i would constantly be asking one of my professors questions during class to the point where she said i didn't have to go "i have a question" every time i approached her)

i've been editing since 2016! around march/april, i think? loved it so much i went into film & video production in college as a major so i could do editing for a living. (i have done more motion graphics for my classmates than i have done edits outside of class assignments, BUT!)

the program i use is after effects - i started learning it when covid first hit the united states because i had nothing better to do with my time (other than music theory but i failed that bc my professor focused more on the history aspects than the actual theory soooo) and my ipad kept giving me the "no more storage" whenever i tried to use videostar lmao. (vs has, apparently, gotten a LOT of good updates, so if you're looking to start editing and have an ios system, i'd look into it! only downside is you have to pay for some of the cool stuff).

also the program i use for masking (i think i explain this later dwdw) is superimpose. i've been using it since 2014 and it's SO nice bc i can use my fingers to erase backgrounds & stuff instead of hoping i can get it to work correctly in ae or photoshop (photoshop my DETESTED i'll use it but i'll complain the entire time).

for people who want to start editing: tutorials on how your program works and how to do specific transitions are gonna be your best friend when you're first figuring things out! i forced a friend to literally walk me through how after effects worked when i was first figuring it out, and when i had swapped to videostar back in 2017/2018(?) i had watched a Lot of tutorials. that and played around a lot and figured things out on my own - which is also always a good way to start!! it's also totally valid to look at other people's edits for inspiration - most editors don't really care, as long as you don't flat-out remake their edit (some people don't like that!). i have a style insp folder on instagram where i save edits that i like so if i need transition ideas or i'm doing a different style, i can look there for inspiration. at the end of the day, as long as you're having fun with it that's all that matters!

also, starting simple is always okay!! my edits for a year were just me slapping gifs & video segments together on a timeline in cute cut pro bc imovie didn't load them lol & it'd crash every time i breathed. ++ it never hurts to ask people for feedback/constructive(!!!) criticism/etc! (also not to sound like everyone else but practice? good. it's so good. if i showed my 14/15y/o self some of the edits i can make now they would've passed out on the spot bc i was still trying to figure out transitions back then. programs can also sometimes make a difference in edits, but usually it's not super noticeable until you start getting to the Complicated Shit.)

a lot of popular programs i've seen are ones like video star (ios only), alight motion (android only), after effects (i recommend 🏴‍☠️ing it tbh, i only use it legally bc i had to use adobe programs for school), capcut, and i think some people still use sony vegas pro & maybe cute cut pro (i've heard it may have actually gotten better since i last used it in 2018)? i have no idea. programs also depend on whatever device you're using to edit on! since i've been using my laptop, i'm able to use after effects (it's computer-only), but when i used my phone/ipad to edit i used ccp & vs.

for the animation - it's a lot of cutting up the image and masking! more complex animations, like the one i had of leo walking down that red 'hallway' have several different layers that have been masked. (i removed the background & filled in the spot where leo originally was in two different apps - superimpose (taking leo out) & photoshop (filling in the bg)) in after effects, the way i've done this was mask out the specific thing i wanted to move (like an eye) and then put that mask on what i've called a "base" (not animated), and then stick a solid behind the base to match the color of the object. (some of my layers are not named appropriately; base 2 is the left arm & the four "SIX_[...]" layers are the mask/bandana tails)

an example of this would be for any of the eye blink animations i did! this (above) is the same shot, with and without the eye - since it's masked out and i have the background solid behind it, it doesn't look too unnatural/have a black outline/mass where his eye should be.

what it looks like without the solid layer behind it ^ (the red lines are from the null layers - ignore that)

this is what my timeline looks like if it's a more simplistic animation - the only five things being animated here are leo & raph's eyes. (there's only this many layers bc it's two characters in one shot & i was also animating their pupils - typically, an eye-blink animation is about 4-6 layers for me (solid, base, mask, & null to animate with, 6 if i'm animating both eyes & 4 if just one))

in after effects, there's this really cool tool called the puppet pin that one of my friends (lovingly) yelled at me for not knowing about - which. yeah fair she wasn't wrong it's SUPER useful in animating, provided you chop up your image first. if you don't it's a mess.

(separated by layer vs i should've really put the mask tails & leo's head on separate layers and didn't bc that was the 2nd to last animation i had to do and i was losing my mind bc i wanted to be done with the edit lmao)

the way people animate depends all on their style (there's two common ways to do blinking animation - having the anchor point at the bottom of the eye, or the middle of it) and the program they use. it's been a while, but i could probably tell you how to do some basic animations on videostar still even though i've been doing them in after effects for about 2-3years now. ALSO the best way to have an animation be noticeable is to over-exaggerate it/make them Big - which, yes, can mean 'breaking bones' and having the limbs be a little wonky at the start. (if you want it to be realistic though go Just to the point where it looks uncomfortable lmao)

uhm. again i am so sorry that this is so long i THINK this is everything? if not: my inbox/dms are always open if you ever want to ask more questions, wanna follow up on something, etc etc!! (also if you ever start editing please send me your edits!!! i'd love to see them <3)

#this got away from me im SO sorry (just put this in google docs out of curiosity. 1255 words. i am so sorry for the essay.)#uhm. ANYWAY YES like i said if you have any other questions feel free to reach out!!! i am always alway willing to help people out #with stuff like this!!! i can talk your ear off though if this wasn't enough proof of that /j #if nothing makes sense it's bc i'm responding to this at like. 5am my time. so. my bad if there's typos i'm so sorry #like i think i saw this ask at 4:40ish am and i'm still making sure i've got everything covered and its like 5:32am LMAO #me when i dont sleep bc i have no routine now #ask box pals #art creds in the screenshots to trubblegumm !! <- tagging to be safe #still in shock at the amount of positive feedback im getting from my bb!leo edit like oh my god you guys are incredible ilysm /p #sorry i discovered in the middle of typing out my tags that you can edit them now after you've hit enter where am i.#also this is offtopic so its down here but i am Not complaining about doing more motion graphics than actual editing.#a bitch has won two awards for their motion graphics at festivals and i've been doing them for a YEAR #(laughs in the first time i ever did a real one i won a student award. idk how. but i DID and i won the pro category this year <3)#it would be nice tho to do more editing for short films tho :( had a professor tell me i was good at it.#i should rly start using my camera and shoot my own stuff and edit it huh. maybe i will eventually i have a few ideas.#anyway. i need to stop rambling abt my experience as a film student and go to bed i apparently need to be up in the morning but idk WHEN

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hella1975 · 1 year

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(hella you dont have to answer this, just wanted to say it) i know you ofc know that grief is a really complicated n fickle feeling but. it is, so i hope u can give yourself that space to grieve and do whatever it takes...but also please take care of yourself. and we're both creators of stuff so i really get the feeling, but i promise youre not destined for getting worse or stuck in that. something similar happened to me my senior year and even if you didn't know him that well, you're allowed that space to feel too.

ik my words prob dont do much, and i dont pretend to know better than you about your hometown or life or anything like that, but im here if u wanna talk. i love u <3

thank you for this my love. this is so kind and you didnt need to say anything but you DID and im so grateful for that. i promise im okay and im very good at being able to tell what episodes are temporary and what are more serious, so i know this one is temporary and is more shock/natural sadness at hearing the news that will peter off over time, so im trying to just. let myself feel it all for now and then put it to rest after a couple days. im sorry you can relate at all, i feel like it's such a specific, strange kind of grief to explain, when it's someone you know very distantly and technically have no 'right' to grieve, because like you said, grief is complicated, and it doesn't care what right you have to it or not. which is something im having to remind myself of and tell myself im not being selfish or self-centred for feeling upset by this. ive reached out to one of my irls and im going to tell her tomorrow bc i trust her to be good about this, so as basic as that sounds that's a pretty huge thing for me and im hoping it'll help even if it is just. talking it out. idk. but i appreciate this and i appreciate you, ily bestie xx

#as much as i do blame my hometown i think a part of that anger/blame is a coping mechanism #bc it's easier to blame all the bad things that happen IN that town ON that town if that makes sense #and im aware it lacks nuance to narrow shit down like that but it makes it bearable for me #to just blame everything on this vague broad 'hometown' idea in my head #instead of truly delving into it bc that WOULD make me miserable #im so sorry to even delve into this for anyone idly reading bc i know this is very serious but i need to put it SOMEWHERE #like im twenty and SIX boys in my year have died #two were drug overdoses and one got pulled out of the river so we'll never know which of those were accidental or on purpose #one boy had leukaemia another got killed in a hit and run the day before his eighteenth birthday #and now this boy. and he fucking hung himself like i cant get that out of my head of all the ways to go he chose that #and of those six boys two of them were my cousins and one was seventeen when he overdosed and we're pretty sure it was an accident #which makes it WORSE like he would have known when the drugs were already in his system that it was too much #and he was just a child. he would have been so scared. and they're all just dead now and they keep dying #and i just feel so helpless and like in me getting out of that town i left them behind?#idk. im venting now im not expecting any of this to be addressed by anyone lmao the problem with most of it is that it CANT be addressed #like what can you do? just keep on going until the next one #ask #delete later

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