#im very sorry for complaining so much online

[xamaxenta]

It’s difficult to not feel discouraged sometimes when your partner is also an artist and happens to be faster than you in every conceivable way

This doesn’t bother me often because everyone is different and comparing production time and skill against each other or anyone is detrimental mostly and its ok to have your own workflow

but it does weigh on me vaguely sometimes sometimes that she can finish 2-3 full coloured pieces within a week and ive been painfully scratching out the same number but theyre only sketches that ill never revisit within a month

None of this actually matters in the long run, it just makes me feel bad on occasion

#like i should be doing more #im very sorry for complaining so much online #i just dont really have any other way to express myself #i know some of you have generously and kindly reached out to me to offer an ear #but my fatal flaw is i cant talk to anyone about my problems i just idk it was beaten into me that none of it matter #matters or my problems arent a big deal and i know ots healthy to think actuallt my problems are worth talking about or a big deal #but its hard to change a behaviour that was kinda literally beaten jnto you that talking about stuff likw this is a waste of time #i guess i just feel bad that i could do more and i dont because i dont want to #but i also want to if that makes any sense at all #i suppose it also doesnt help that alot of the work im doing right now i actually sorta hate like none of it is good to me personally #i want to stop being toxic towards myself #i just wanna stop hating me and who i am and what i do every step of the way #but that mean little voice inside me is like ahh. it wont shut up #I always say i need a break or more time but what am i gonna do with it #doing nothing at all isnt fulfilling #it sounds. sad like what teenager me did and i dont want to be or feel like that ever again but its fuckjng hard #this is so woe is me #im a liar bc i say the main text doesnt bother me but it bothers me alot im very envious of her speed prolificness and drive to create #and i have none like thats so unfair #this makes me sound ultra bitter god fucking damn it #i want to go to sleep and genuinely never fucking wake up again #please im done i just dont want to

[woozingie]

the way my right nostril hurts all the way up my skull is not unlike the way my chest hurts when i see lee woozi exist in the world

#hello im sick as a dog sorry im not around much im basically dead #perks of being an overachiever anxious idiot is that #i can complain about how tired i am for months and not rest #but in the end my body will force me to #thanks boo #im so destroyed and my defense is on thursday lmfaooo i have yet to prepare that aswell #im just watching netflix and listening to some of my records that's all i do #am sorry but also..... it feels really good to stop catering to online socialising #it's so exhausting to me but also very invasive and you feel you have no excuse #honestly i keep toying with the idea of just deleting every social media i have #but i feel guilty about the people i can only talk to like via instagram or twitter #even if it's exhausting.... because i am.... a people pleaser #belli rambles

[orphudice]

i domt even know what or who i am anymore?.??

#vent i tjink?kindof just me complaining im sorrydjjdkd/gen #i am just oh so very lonely and homesick like constantly.nothing thst usually maked mr #happy is making me happy anymore #the only things keeping me together rn are reading pjo getting excited over the new kotlc book and twst.that is it #i have friends irl.but like.i dont #my social life is nonexistent again #literally all my friends either ignore me or mske it blatantly obvious that they likr other people more than me #hate interactinv in groups!!!hate it so much!!!! #i can never fit in #even online in mutual groups i think im close to someone but im not and its so awkwarf #kind of like that feeling irl where u think sum1s ur bsf but they dont??yk??? #sorry im not on here much btw im trying i promise #im just.very busy and i dont wanna vent too much either #anyways ill prolly be lurking here for the next few hrs idk my brain is a puddle rn

[sunsetkerr]

SAMMY'S GIRL (ii) | s.kerr

summary: MORE headcanons on your relationship with sam, read part one here.

pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr

notes: getting out lots of little headcanons because they're just so much fun to do. sammy's girl is my favourite of all my girls (completely bias, sorry) but if you want to see what other 'wags' are in my lil universes, check out my masterlists!! each 'wag' is also going to get their own tag, so check those out for little file facts, or ask questions/send thoughts so we can add to them all!! lots of love

as previously established, you’ve grown up with sam right

you’ve known her through every little phase and every weird obsession she’s ever had

you know her deepest secrets and she knows yours

its honestly quite jarring because you both know each other better than you know yourselves

you’re not at sporty as sam, only relaly dabbling in school netball for carnivals and stuff when they needed extra girls

but sam would try and include you as much as she could in all aspects of her career

if she was having a solo gym day, or just going on a walk

guess whos coming with!?!!!

its you!!!!!!

if she wants a swim at the beach for recovery

she is making sure that you tag along

(not just to see you in your bathers, its for recovery, have some professionalism please)

sam has spent half of her life without you and having to settle for seeing you through a screen

so once you’re in london with her permanently, she is making the most of that

she needs to shower? you’re passing her body wash

she’s hungry? shes making two servings and you’re eating with her

she wants a coffee? youre heading to your favourite spot

you are always around

and sam isn’t having it if you’re not

when she does have to go away?

youre getting texts from guro, erin and millie complaining about her

‘omg she wont shut up about you’

‘if sam doesn’t stop talking im gonna clock her y/n, i won’t be held responsible for my actions’

‘she’s at a new level of pathetic, please come get your girl’

but they understand, they love you too

the entirety of the chelsea squad know you’re at every game

they have a dedicated seat for you in the family and friends section

everyone is away that it’s your seat

millie’s fiancée wards people away from it

he once had to face the consequences of sitting in your seat

he wouldn’t wish an angry emma hayes or sam kerr upon anyone

but its not all about sam

she is just your biggest cheerleader

you were able to finish your degree online and were lucky enough that your credentials in australia carried over to the uk 

so you started working there

im picturing sports journalism???????? you were forced to be around sport your entire life that it kinda just became a natural thing

you were so well-informed on so many different sports it was crazy

sam loved plugging anything you were writing

you posted a new article? she’s sharing that shit on her instagram story

you won an award for a piece? she’s at the ceremony

you’re working overtime to get a project finished? she’s ordering you dinner to the office

as much as sam is a professional and very famous athlete

she’s still just sammy to you

and she’s never forgotten that

but to her, you are the best thing to ever happen to planet earth

and she makes sure that everyone knows

living with sam is lots of fun

you relish in all of the time you get to spend together

call it making up lost time

sure, she leaves her stuff everywhere

but you’re guilty of that too

you still hold each other accountable

‘sam you didn’t do the dishes’

‘okay and you didn’t hang out the laundry’

‘… fair enough’

making dinner together is just chaotic 

sam can only cook breakfast, she excels at smashed avocado

so she really lets you take the reins on dinners 

she succumbs to the sou-chef life

you force her to watch movies with you

she argues and says that tv shows are better

(even though you know she’s completely invested in whatever film you’ve chosen)

you have a little brother who just idolises sam

and he has since the day he was born

he was a classic accident child, a real surprise for your parents

but watching him grow up was just the best

hes the biggest women’s soccer fan you know

he’s up-to-date on all of the woso drama

definitely can tell you the entire timeline and drama of the mcfoord relationship 

so when he’s old enough

sam flies him over to the uk all the time

he just loves sam so much

he wears her jersey to every game, saying he doesn’t want anyone elses

(maybe maccas, but that’s a different story)

and sam is estatic to have him there

definitely walks out with him as her mascot on multiple occasions

sam isn’t super touchy feely in front of others

but when shes drunk, she can’t help it

she just wants to hold you and she doesn’t care who’s around to see it

sam really loves watching men at bars or in clubs try to hit on you

just to go and ruin their fun

it’s her favourite pastime really

sam’s extra sappy and clingy when tired

after a big night or a tiring game, she wants to curl up next to you and have you hold her until she falls asleep

sometimes it’s a foreign feeling for you

sam is almost always the big spoon

so you really drink in the feeling whenever she feels vulnerable enough to let you hold her for a change

sam is also extra attentive when you’re not feeling well

she’s so doting and always checking in on you

if shes around, you’re being waited on hand and foot

‘are you okay? do you have a temp?’

‘let me get you some water’

‘i don’t like the sound of that cough, y/n’

if she’s away for a game, your phone does not stop ringing

she’s always texting when she has a spare minute 

and if she has more than ten minutes to spare, she’s calling you to see how you are

sam just adores you

the fans adore you even more

the amount of tiktok edits of you and sam are crazy

the one of you in the stands after her goal against england in the world cup went viral

the way you jumped out of your seat and almost threw yourself over the barrier was on the news the next day

the clip continuing as sam ran over to your section, as you both shouted in celebration to each other

or the clips in the matildas doco series of the two of you

the lesbians went feral for that shit

everyone wants what you have

everyone wants you

you are that bitch

sam knows it too

and she’s not afraid to let people know just who you are

because you’re hers 

forever and always

#headcanons . * • . #sam kerr x reader #sam kerr imagine #sam kerr one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #sammy's girl . * • .

[iluv4my]

How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Individuals Who Gaslight You and Use Emotional Tactics

Today i want to talk about something that I've been thinking about a lot lately like understanding when someone is trying to control our emotions and how we can set boundaries to protect ourselves and we all face this in different ways like with friends, partners, or even people we meet online

I often face such people and today i will share whatever i have learned its not like im very professional but im sharing here what I have read and learned

Emotional manipulation is when someone tries to control or influence you using your emotions They might make you feel guilty, doubt yourself, or question your own feelings

So here are some examples like how emotional manipulation can look -

1. The Guilt tripping

This is when someone tries to make you feel bad for not doing what they want by saying things like

- If you really cared about me you would do what i want

- I don't want to stay with temporary people stop caring about me or just let me be like this

2. Gaslighting

This is when someone tries to make you doubt your own thoughts and memories by saying things like

- You're just imagining things i never said that

- Maybe you should just leave me i know you'll just find someone else as soon as you have the chance anyway

3. Playing the Victim

This is when someone tries to make you feel sorry for them even though they're the one causing the problem so they might say things like

I can't believe you're upset with me i'm the one who's been hurt

Okay fine focus on your life don't care about me just leave me alone don't give me this kind of advice give it to someone else

4. Shifting Blame

This is when someone tries to make you feel like the problem is your fault instead of theirs they might say things like

It's not my fault you're upset you're just too sensitive

You're just wasting time with me i'm just your texting partner

Emotional manipulators often feel insecure or powerless by controlling others they feel a sense of power and prop up their own self esteem they might have learned these tactics from their own upbringing too

Their Personality Traits

1. Narcissism

Emotional manipulators often act like they're better than others and always want people to praise them and they need a lot of attention and don't care much about how others feel they think they're more important than everyone else and often complain too much .

2. Insecurity

Even though they may seem confident, emotional manipulators actually feel unsure about themselves. Deep down they might have had tough experiences in the past that make them feel bad about themselves so they try to control others to feel better about themselves.

3. Need for Control

Emotional manipulators always want things to go their way. They try to control what others do and say to feel powerful and important and they use tricks like making others feel guilty or pretending to be the victim to control how people act around them.

Understanding these traits helps us recognize when someone might be trying to manipulate us and It's important to stand up for ourselves and not let them control u

Reasons for Manipulation

What Makes Them Pull the Strings?

There are several reasons why people turn to manipulation here are some of the big ones:

Power and Control:

Many manipulators feel a deep seated need for power and control in their lives they might feel insecure or powerless on their own so manipulating others gives them a sense of superiority and helps them feel better about themselves.

Self Gain:

It's all about "me" for some manipulators they might use emotional tactics to get what they want whether it's money, favors, or simply getting their way in an argument

Fear of Abandonment:

Some manipulators are terrified of being alone they might use emotional blackmail or guilt trips to keep people close even in unhealthy relationships

Low Self Esteem:

Despite their controlling ways some manipulators actually have very low self esteem they might manipulate others to get the validation and approval they crave

Learned Behavior:

Sometimes manipulation is a learned behavior they might have grown up in a household where manipulation was the norm and they adopted it as a way to cope with the world.

How To Protect Yourself From these Manipulator

Set Boundaries

Make it clear what you're okay with and what you're not stick to your limits and don't let manipulators push you around

Trust Your Instincts

If something doesn't feel right trust your gut feeling take steps to keep yourself safe from further manipulation.

Don't engage in arguments

They want to get a rise out of you walk away

Focus on yourself

Prioritize your own needs and well being

Responding to Manipulation

Stay Calm

Try not to get upset or angry when dealing with manipulative people stay calm and stand up for yourself firmly

Be Assertive

Clearly say how you feel and what you want without being mean or starting a fight

Limit Interaction

If manipulation keeps happening even after you've tried to stop it think about spending less time with that person to protect your mental health

End Note :

These people think that by behaving like this they can protect themselves they always want attention and love from everyone around them but they don't notice or thank others for what they do It's better to let them go without worrying too much about them if you think you can change them you're wrong they'll just resist your efforts and keep complaining instead of appreciating what others do they often find fault in small things its better to focus on yourself and not let their behavior bother you

#self help #self discovery #self development #self reflection #self improvement #self love #self care #self healing #healing #level up journey #spilled thoughts #dark academic aesthetic #light academia #dark aesthetic #dark acamedia #desi teen #pyschology #literature #dark academia

[sirenlulls]

sweet → r. keating (b. skeetz)

pairing —robert keating x fem!reader social media au

summary —where your boyfriend loves annoying you online and people lose their minds

it's so sweet, knowing that you love me. though, we don't need to say it to each other

liked by evehewson, ryanmcmahon_15, and 20,917 others

bobbyskeetz some bassist twat. lake. an ispíní mor. a homeless woman and a cat. bláthana. and some very beautiful lads

yourusername the cat was cuter than you

bobbyskeetz who are you again?

yourusername your ex 🫶🫶

username my parents

yourusername guys don't be fooled by the hard guy act, he bought me the flowers 😁😁

bobbyskeetz i'm sorry but i can't support parasocial relationships. this has to stop.

username i need a relationship like theirs

username sorry mr skeetz but i want to marry that homeless woman

bobbyskeetz oh don't worry about it lad i'm gonna take one for the team. saving the general population and all that

ryanmcmahon_15 you're a very beautiful lad yourself

evehewson a very pretty homeless woman*

yourusername marry me.

liked by gracieabrams, lilamoss, and 1,106,723 others

yourusername dolce and gabbana. food. a smelly burglar. a tipsy gal. a bathtub of drunk gals. vogue. banger. bassist twat. delicious strawberry.

bobbyskeetz thanks for the breakdown, didn't know what i was looking at before

yourusername you are very slow 🫶

bobbyskeetz that bassist twat looks rather dashing

yourusername whatever you need to tell yourself girlie!

bobbyskeetz whoa who's that in the last slide

yourusername pretty sure you said she's a homeless woman?

bobbyskeetz .....a pretty one?

yourusername eve said it first 🥱

evehewson get in line xx

evehewson ur so cool and hip

yourusername ur so rad

maisiehpeters mother!!

username cornelia street supremacy

yourusername lover is such an overhated album

username REAL OMG

liked by lizzymcalpine, bellahadid, and 2,102,611 others

yourusername happy anniversary to the biggest bassist twat in the world, the bane of my existence, and the real reason that taylor swift wrote lover (she told me herself) glad it's you who kicks me off the bed every other night ❤️

username wait how long have they been together?

username 7 years

username WHAT.

devonleecarlson ur so perfect..... and he's there! jk, lots of love to u both ❤️❤️🫶🫶

bobbyskeetz jeez, props to me for hanging on this long

yourusername .......

bobbyskeetz love you ❤️

yourusername love you too 💞💞

yourusername omg he can be nice in public?! 😱😱😱

sirenlulls mother and father fr

whoetoshaw will never forget seeing them out of the gig last year

sirenlulls OMG WITH HER GIVING HIM THE FLOWERS I NEARLY FORGOT THAT WAS SO CUTE

whoetoshaw literally made me believe in love.

username she's a 10 but she calls you a bassist twat

bobbyskeetz still a 10 tbh

liked by graciebrns, shayrudolph, and 20,981 others

bobbyskeetz can't believe it's been 7 years and you're still too cool for me. 💔 happy anniversary to the most beautiful person i know. you're my favourite person to play bird bingo with, my forever hiking partner (no matter how much you might complain), the only person i ever want to boot off the bed in my sleep, my homeless woman. please never realise you could probably bag a model and just stick with your bassist twat instead ❤️

yourusername WHAT TJE FUCK

yourusername my post just seems like shit now

yourusername i actually hate you wtf

yourusername no i don't

yourusername you might be a bassist twat but trust you'll always be my favourite

bobbyskeetz nicest thing you've ever said to me

sirenlulls @whoetoshaw THE CAPTION?? GIRL THIS IS SOME FANFIC SHIT WTF

whoetoshaw babes im crying and it's not even for me what is going on 🥹🥹🥹🥹

username "MY homeless woman" "YOUR bassist twat" im actually going to jump in front of a train

username shutting up the bitches who says they're together for coult real fast

username no you don't understand you guys are so special to me

username they're my babies (they're 23 and im 16)

[kaeyx]

anon who suggested demon beastzai here again !! meeting demon beastzai probably consists of months withstanding very very strange things happening wherever you go and even more so within your house. from lights flashing off and on, scratch marks on the wall, your stuff going missing, things being misplaced…. im not sure how reader and demon beastzai would even meet but i would think after you did, he got hooked on you immediately therefore the weird things start happening

it isnt until he actually makes himself FULLY known to you does he start showing up in front of you with little to no regards of your comfort, im sorry you just have a new roommate !! no takesies backsies !! he lingers behind you randomly , wrapping his arms around him and dotes on you. sure maybe he messes you with and maybe it’s a lot but it’s nothing too serious!!! yet. yet at least. unless youre so insistent on getting rid of him but you dont really have the power to actually do so, so he plays with you lightly <3

oh and he totally watches you take baths or showers, he’s like a cat he will follow you into every room. and let him nuzzle you while he holds you in bed wont you? no he won’t let you outside that much anymore, if you need something he can just order someone to get it for you ! he has a lot of power you know ? why would you need to go outside without him? if you really want to that badly, he supposes he could shapeshift into a human form but he’d really rather stay at home with you.

also going back to what someone said abt the demons faking that they have heats/ruts YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT DOES NOT HAVE DEMON BEASTZAI ALL OVER IT. HE WOULD DEFINITELY DO THIS…. just hearing him whine while he buries his face into your neck and he presses against you, practically humping you and hes just complaining about how painful this rut is for him !!! even the strongest demons have their weaknesses, youre the only person who can help him :(( he cant go to anyone else

I also don't know how demon Beastzai would come around to be honest.... he just pops up and decides to stay. The closest explanation I can come up with is he's some sort of lord/ruler in the underworld? That could serve as substitute for the PM, but I'm not too concerned about logistics I want the vibes. Somehow, someway, Beastzai decides he's your new roommate and now refuses to leave. Even worse if you live in a little studio apartment, because it's impossible to keep your distance or have any personal space. He'll sit with you, sneak into your bed, poke his head into the bathroom while you're showering, and nothing you do or say will stop him.

Beastzai also refuses to let you leave! He can magic groceries and takeout into your hands, you can shop and order stuff online, why would you ever have to step foot outside? If you complain about being confined to such a small space he'll offer to bring you back home with him, but of course that "home" isn't anywhere in this plane of existence. If you insist on going outside he shapeshifts into a hauntingly beautiful man, his dark fur turning into a dark coat, claws turning into long, nimble fingers. If the light hits his eye just right you swear it looks red. And he holds your hand everywhere you go, of course. Doctors' office, grocery store, he'll even hang off your arm while you're trying to work, exercise, go to class... And he'll be whining constantly about going back inside. He's got a million excuses: pollen, the sun hurts his eyes, he doesn't like getting wet, it's too hot, it's too cold, people make him anxious... It's neverending. And god forbid you have to take public transport, he'll hug you from behind, rest his chin on your shoulder, and glower at anyone who tries to stand close to you until they get off.

As for how he'd look, I have a few ideas but he's mostly the same as regular Demonzai. Big, tall, not buff just broad shouldered, horns and fangs and big claws. Lots of dark brown/black fur especially on his stomach and back. Maybe slit pupils? Yellow or red eyes, perhaps a forked tongue. He might even have backwards knees like animals do, generally I imagine him as part goat with some monster features added. If you strip him naked there won't be a lot of difference between Beast Demonzai and normal Demonzai imo, maybe a few more scars on Beastzai.

Also OUGJSVJDKVJD YES HE FAKES HIS RUTS ALL THE TIMEEEE he gets extra clingy and puts his hands all over you and whines pathetically, humping your leg and crying about how painful it is, walking naked around the house because he's "overheating" and conveniently letting you see every inch of him... And much like regular Demonzai he's not opposed to straight up holding you down and taking what he wants, or using you in your sleep.

#dazai.bsd #demon!dazai #demon!beast!dazai #beastzai.bsd

[necroneol]

TW SA AND ABVSE MENTION

okay hi, i know this is unusual for this account but i just wanted to put something out there. apparently my stuff is going around on the fake disorder cringe reddit which is..well. it is what it is. i just want to say some things.

if you have a problem with me grow up and say it to my face. hiding behind reddit is pathetic. i have said it a million times before but what you see here is a mere fraction of my life and my experiences. some people on reddit were saying that my idea of “abvsive” is most likely me just whining because i have to do chores. and ill say that im sorry for you, and i feel for you. you sound very lonely and hateful and sad and isolated. i hope you can find something better. truly. i will never understand how people see content online and assume they know some hidden truth, like theyre the only one who can see through the lie.

you want the truth? the truth is that i Do whine when i have to do chores. and i cry when my mother takes away my food as punishment. and i close my eyes and take it when she hurts me. i do what im told because i know what happens if i dont. i keep my secrets inside, and i keep my mouth shut, not because i want to, but because i have to. because every single time i even attempted to tell my mother about any of the sxual azzaults i endured, half of which were perpetrated by my own family members, she told me i was so ugly that no one would want to touch me like that, so i must be making it up.

so yeah. i whine when i have to empty the dishwasher for the third time in one day when there are at least 4 other people in the household capable of emptying a damn dishwasher.

i am lucky enough to have these moments of normal, every day disappointment and frustration. i am lucky enough to have time in between to complain about doing the dishes. you are lucky if you have the time to put strangers down behind the safety of anonymity for no reason other than you can and youre bored.

my life is real. just because you cant fathom it doesn’t mean it’s fake. my diagnosis is real. i am real. find a better hobby and learn how to love yourself.

thanks so much to anyone reading and to everyone who’s supported me so far. i finally have hope in my life. i am forever grateful and i hope these insecure people can find some hope of their own one day. we all deserve it.

happy holidays and merry christmas!

#tw #probably shouldbt react ar all but come on. during the holidays? #you guys are supposed to be spreading love and good tidings not fake claiming people on yhe internet #dont be a loser.

[yanderespamton78]

INTRO POST :O

(and heres the timeline for anyone following the addison arg!!)

k so i decided to make an intro post for my whole 40 followers because im bored, i cba to make another one for my tiktok and i like talking about myself >:D

(important bits are highlighted if you dont wanna read all of it)

hi!! I go by Charlie or Stick online and I use she/her

I am a MINOR‼️‼️‼️ but I dont really mind people over the age of 18 interacting with me just keep that in mind lol (im not gonna specify my actual age)

I post higher quality things on my tiktok @spamtonslongnose so u should totally go follow me there

FANDOMS :

Deltarune (spamton and the addisons)

Undertale

The Amazing Digital Circus

Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy

Portal (GlaDOS (wifey/j))

Ghosts BBC

Smiling Friends

The Amazing World Of Gumball

also i feel like i should mention im generally super anxious, especially when talking to people i dont know irl so mutuals be prepared for me to never/rarely interact with you lol (also i try to avoid direct messaging, it just makes me uncomfortable. again its not that i feel unsafe its just general anxiety ;-;)

i mostly just reblog stuff or make posts complaining about smth going on in my life. i do post art sometimes but often its just random scraps of art leftover from my tiktok

also i pretty much always have art reqs open!! if you ask me to draw something from one of the fandoms listed above i will prolly draw it!! i cant guarantee that i will but i will try at least lol. if you really want me to draw smth make it addison related i love those guys

i do try to add image description to my art, but often they are very simple because im lazy and tired

i have a bad habit of info dumping about whatevers happening in my life atm,, plus im very winey and love complaining,, if this happens just ignore me ill get bored eventually

im not gonna do a dni bc 1 i cba and 2 itll just be the basic dni criteria and no one needs to read that for the billionth time lol. ill just block u if ur weird

Pls dont vent to me i dont know how to respond and it stresses me out </3 /lh. I cant face my own problems let alone other peoples'

sorry if i ever come off as rude, sometimes i kinda take jokes too far. just know that i never mean to upset anyone (and if i do accidentally i will spiral about it for the next 2 days at least). i just have a habit of getting carried away and going too far sometimes <:D

ok well i think thats it, bye!!

#oh well ill just edit it if i realise i miss smth #hitchhikers guide to the galaxy #spamton #deltarune #addisons deltarune #portal #GlaDOS #undertale #smiling friends #intro #ghosts BBC #hmm cant think of any other tags i think thats good

[dwreader]

Anne rice based lestat on her husband. I'm sorry but she always had louis stuck on that man even in the first book already its not like she changed her mind later on. Lestat was the looming husband figure. It's just so sad to see yall turn on the writers when the thing is yall have been chronically online + nursing resentment toward lestat&his fanbase and are now mad he doesn't get his comeuppance by louis having a much more passionate relationship w/ armand.

anon pls tell me when i have ever said loumand would ever take precedence over loustat on this show alsjsjajkas lmao like the ppl behind the show have announced multiple times that it’s about loustat and like primarily lestat i would argue based on rolin’s comments. literally the ONLY part of the book that i had any expectation wouldn’t be completely turned into a lestat extravaganza is the loumand courtship in paris where there is no indication that his ghost/memory stands in the way of louis accepting armand’s advances. he may feel guilt and worry over the consequences of what they did but if anything the fact that lestat was such an awful husband/mentor is what drives louis to be MORE receptive of armand and hopeful for their relationship. it makes him easier prey for armand because he wasn’t given any proper mentorship from lestat so unless you wanna enter into “louis just lied about everything” territory TO ME that’s an aspect of their relationship that should be preserved in order to have any impact (and i don’t see why louis would be lying when he’s very honest about lestat haunting him in the prior segment).

and not only is this louis’s only other substantial romantic relationship outside of lestat but this is also the last part of the entire series in which there’s any substantial writing of louis AT ALL… to dramatically increase the presence of lestat when the rest of the book series is already 99% his story just rubs me the wrong way. like we’re always talking about how this show is possibly going to work around the fact that anne never wrote about louis again after this but not even allowing what little independent story he does have in the books to be told w/o shoehorning lestat is again why this question keeps coming up.

yes lestat was always based on her husband but she wrote iwtv when she had a much more pessimistic view of their marriage and it wasnt necessarily a given that loustat were meant to be together in the long term (she literally tried to get rid of louis a million times in the subsequent books anyways) so this idea that they were always meant to be OTP4ever is just silly. the ending of iwtv works bc neither armand nor lestat could bring any passion back to him. it’s not a romance novel and even in the end, while he feels sad seeing lestat in such a rotten state and when armand leaves, he is too hollowed out to do anything about it and doesn’t stay with either of them. of course the entire series isn’t going to take that view but this season is not the entire series it’s just one part of the book that IMO is incredibly effective as it’s written without the overarching loustat otp narrative in its way.

also that woman tried to find a louis replacement in every single book she wrote and only gave up when her fans hated it and complained enough i guess. but even disregarding all her bad writing, everyone involved in the show has talked about how it was a challenge to account for the massive retcon she did after tvl. these are all choices that were made on what to prioritize and to deal with the fact that the books aren’t consistent about the characterizations or relationships. and they’re going to have to make even more decisions going forward when louis completely ghosts off the page in anne’s writing and all im saying is what im seeing so far makes me wary of those future decisions they’ll have to make s3 and beyond. (not even getting into the fact they’re shoving dm/lesmand/nickistat/etc into this season too like that’s just compounding the same issue)

#like I’m happy for u if you like what they’re doing lmao #like please enjoy #but don’t act like this was all inevitable cause of anne or whatever #she had no clue what she was writing most of the time #and the show makes choices on what to take from her writing too

[starseverance]

sorry i hope you dont mind that i rant for a moment, i try not to complain about antis too much because i feel like id be no better than them to do so. be the bigger person, as they say.

but. i cant lie that it is so annoying at the amount ive seen lately, and is it just me or are they extremely dramatic? one of my favorite artists that i look up to made a post about how they found out one of their friends wer proship, and word for word said "it made me feel nauseous, my heart stopped and i was sent into tears." like maybe its just me but that is so overdramatic, it made me lose some respect for them.

another example was this silly drawing of killugon (two fictional children, literal lines on a screen) and someone said they were terrified. that "seeing such sickening pedophilic content being so readily available online makes me want to throw up." like they?? were just under mistletoe in the pic??

i dunno ive just. its become hard to enjoy anything on the internet anymore because it seems like theres more and more people like that coming out to say nonsensical, empty-minded, overreactive things.

sorry for ranting in your inbox, i just dont have any friends im able to talk to about this hgfhg,, if this kind of ask isnt wanted just let me know. i hope youre doing well!

Hi hi Anon! I don't mind you ranting at all, and I think it's perfectly reasonable to complain about things like this.

I think that the reaction of that artist to their friend being proship speaks to the anti mentality. I'm not the person to go all into how cult-like antis are, but I'll say that it's really awful how these (misguided) beliefs end up mattering more than friendships.

The part that really gets me is the need to be performative about it, the need to loudly declare "I am disgusted by this bad thing! This thing is bad and must be destroyed! I am a good person!" Sometimes this need to assert moral superiority is personal, sometimes it's because they don't want to be ostracized by their group; but either way, I agree that it gets annoying.

I'm sorry that this is making it harder for you to enjoy being online. It's a shame that the loudest people tend to be the most hateful ones. I can only hope that some of these people eventually mature enough to (at the very least) let other people enjoy things.

#sev's thoughts #asks #ask answers #discourse

[pompadourpink]

Hi mom! I need some advice ! I trust your opinion , im so sorry that this will be a long one ! Im starting my freshmen year at college this fall, after a prep year. I want to open an instagram account , i like taking pictures and i want to keep up with my friends from prep year. The thing is i am a socially anxious person. And when i was in middle school i was made fun of because i had so little followers ( like 25 smthing) and i got sad and closed my account. I was 12 when that happened, i was also being bullied in many other ways. So i am afraid now that people will mock me for not having many followers and they will think im unsociable or uncool or something like that. The thing is i also think instagram is a fake place, but many school clubs announce things there and in college you just want to fit in. Also i was the nerd all my school life, i got no attention from boys whatsoever. I got really insecure, all the people that saw me this year tell me that i have changed so much, now i get compliments about my looks but i still feel unconfident. When it comes to interacting with boys all my friends tell me im too unapproachable. Maybe an ig account will help that? honestly idk. and i know that im overthinking this issue but that’s me unfortunately 😭

part 1

part 2

actually i hate ig flirting? like what does liking a story even mean i hate that kind of stuff. But appearently my generation dont know how to make a move in real life because all the relationships i know of starts online. I cant complain because i could have made a move? but i didnt because im anxious and sometimes insecure because of all the bullying i got in middle school. They made fun of me in unimaginably cruel ways , it still has affects on me years later. I am so desperate for male attention, like i was wearing a tshirt that was slightly wide in the collar and a classmate checked me out , i got really happy! How silly is that! Because i was told that thet were disgusted to even look at me before and they dont consider me as a woman !

Now i go to the best college in the country, i changed a lot physically ( that doesnt matter, i could stay ugly and they had no right) and they are still horrible human beings. Sorry to burden you with all these stuff, it took another turn .

Since i got shit treatment for being ugly earlier in my life, i guess i need validation, posting pretty pictures and being hit on by boys and it sounds silly to me but it is like that.

What do you think about this issue? I know that it’s a bit all over the place , sorry about that! Lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

*

Hello dear,

There is a lot to unpack here so Dr Talks too much is back in office.

Of course, you should get IG if you feel like it. You were 12 a long time ago, those people are probably not in your life anymore (and if they are, they should get fired, no one will arrest you for not talking to people). I also have a ridiculous number of followers and I don't even think about it (at least they actually care when I post), that is not what we are here for, numbers mean nothing and anyone who tries to tell you anything different doesn't deserve a place in your life.

You are at an age where this type of desire makes sense. If you want a collage of the things you love to make yourself feel happy and discover yourself, do it. And yes, if people find your account and like it, you could make some friends. And if they don't and mock you, you know who to avoid.

The rant about loneliness is worrying me greatly. If I could go back and talk to my 18-year-old self, I would tell her to drop the boy-obsessed attitude. The truth is that being desperate is a bad look, but also a very obvious one. You can get groomed easily because what you want is flagrant and any guy at least a little bit charming will drive you insane by just maintaining eye contact and smiling. And if a man can be super lazy and still get you, he will do exactly that and play with you until he's bored and dumps you without a care in the world. That is not a compliment. There are too many stories of women who put men first and got fucked over for people your age to try it and think it will go differently. Make yourself the main character of your life instead of forcing yourself to live in the shadow of people who don't even seem to like you.

Now, some homework:

Watch this. Excellent advice from a 20-year-old lady making the best out of loneliness instead of letting it destroy her.

And this. What happens when girls are boy-obsessed. If you have time, watch the show. The entire world agrees that Carrie is the worst character of the series because she's a shit friend, doesn't learn from her mistakes, and can't be trusted.

And finally, worry about yourself. There are billions of men on Earth and many will find you attractive. You have a long life ahead of you. A nice body is not enough to keep a guy and even models get cheated on. Don't date someone because he liked your cleavage. Having low confidence is a curse because it turns you into a people pleaser, and that just makes you a liar and an easy victim. People can't know you if there's no one to know. A great personality is what makes people stick. Listen to yourself, try fun things, find a therapist, and get a couple of hobbies. Get yourself some girlfriends and do things with them, strengthen your circle, make yourself a person worthy of being befriended or dated, and one day someone will say oh, there's that guy I used to know in high school, I think you would really like him. Don't force it. Don't chase. Only accept someone who is truly happy to be around you, or sentence yourself to have to heal from relationships forever.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

[littlestpersimmon]

i started reading the series (aaa im not sure which part is the actual series name so sorry) with the fitz / the fool as a kid but i never got too far in the series so i was really surprised to see you post about tones of mlm (esp bc my dad was the one who owned this series and suggested i read it, and hes homophobic as shit) i was just curious, what is the nature of the relationship of fitz & the fool in the series? (the snippets you posted just before, seemed like unrequited love?) im esp intrigued of your interp of it as someone who is mlm. though, pls dont feel like u have to go into it if its too extensive to go into or anything though or if u just dont wanna!

Fitz and the Fool's relationship tends to go under the radar, but you wanna know whats hilarious though? Some of the oldest comments in goodreads and ancient forums online complain that Fitz should have realized that the Fool was actually a woman and that the Fool is Fitz' true love, lol. Canonically, The Fool is genderqueer, using he/him and she/her, depending on who is present, and the Fool is canonically, outright in love with Fitz. It's accepted that Fitz and the Fool are canonically romantic, but only at the very end of the series, in their deaths.

My personal interpretation is that Fitz is gay and not bisexual.

That's my Personal Opinion, as in, you guys can disagree. Molly never stops feeling like puppy love, like someone Fitz cares about because of what she represents and not of who she is as a person. I don't like complaining about canon, but rote is my one exception. People rag on Anne Rice all the time for being notoriously anti fanfic, but what she was saying at the time was shared by many other authors, Robin Hobb included, whose anti fanfic post made it to encyclopedia dramatica. Robin Hobb said "for Fitz to be gay is a destruction of his character". Robin Hobb said that nobody in realm of the elderlings gets a fairytale ending because that's not how the world works, while Burrich is conveniently killed so Fitz can marry Molly.

Fitz is terrified of coming out to Robin Hobb.

Maybe that's why the Fool says Fitz shows his love from his actions. Fitz says he could never desire the Fool sexually, but when faced with the possibility of the Fool being intimate with someone else (Jofron), he is devastated. Fitz doesn't like Amber because not only does Amber (who is the Fool as a woman) forces Fitz to confront his own transphobia, she also makes Fitz uncomfortable with his own homophobia. The Pale Woman is also a good example of this. She promises to give Fitz what Beloved could never give him, she promises to "perfect" What Fitz has with Beloved, and all the while, the Pale Woman's most effective weapon against Fitz is of how much she reminded Fitz of the Fool.

Robin Hobb made it a point that her series always veered toward unsatisfying endings because that was how realistically the world worked, so it makes me wonder why Fitz didn't end up with women like Jinna or Starling, who both would have been more narratively interesting (imagine Starling, who hated the Fool, popping out Bee, a kid who looked just like the Fool.)

Fast forward to Fitz in Withywoods where he is unhappy with his life. His relationship with Molly is never shown but told, and you, as the reader will just have to be convinced of it. He stays in his little room aching for his wolf and his friend, never telling anyone about them, always feeling like a part of him is missing.

Fitz never takes the initiative when it comes to how he loves people. The way he loves is unassuming and reticent, and not everyone will understand that, but the Fool did. Throughout his entire life, starting from their childhoods in the castle as outcasts.

They're canon kind of by the 3rd book of Farseer, but the flirtation between them is deeply subtle, always brief, it's like Fitz only seeing the Fool through a hallway made of sheer curtains until the very end of the 17th book where he tears down all the thin walls between them to be wholly together.

It's funny how the Fool is the one throughout the series poking and prodding Fitz, needling him and initiating the little proclamations of love and devotion and you get angry at Fitz for not reciprocating until you realize the Fool is also guarded, has his own walls up.

To Molly, Fitz is newboy, to the Farseers, Fitz is the son of Chivalry, to Starling he was the promise of a song, but to the Fool, he is the closest he will ever be to Keppet, the boy who was loved by his mountain mother, and the boy who was loved by the white prophet

And in the very end Fitz is the one who has the resolve; that he wants to be with the Fool, more than anyone else, in his dying thoughts he wanted only to be with the Fool, who still has his walls up, until Bee tells him

"don't you realize you were loved the best?"

#rote spoilers

[beesmygod]

Genuinely non-snarkily I’m happy for you that you’re getting your medical ailments addressed lately because I’m gonna be real the amount of times over the years I have seen you post like “[describes obvious symptom of Problems] but that’s just how life is, everyone has that!” and I’ve gone to myself “dude…..” as someone with lifelong diagnosed body ailment & autoimmune fuckery. (Obviously being an anon stranger and not your doctor I knew it wouldn’t be appropriate or welcome to try to give you medical opinions lol. But I have been silently onlooking like “Uhh. Don’t know about that, man.” for a long time.) Fr wishing you luck with getting it treated dude.

thank you very much anon. i try not to talk a lot about how i grew up and my family, but they were extremely disinterested in/completely unequipped to deal with any medical problems i had and after they complained about how much i was costing them/how its just "growing pains" (im 4'10"......what growth), i just stopped telling them things loll. i am sorry to say online is the only frame of reference i have for medical problems and everyone has some kind of fucking problem, you know. and the way ppl talk about their pain is so vastly different from my "fucking suck it up bitch" approach lol

idk im rambling and i dont know what im trying to say except im doing this relatively alone which sucks. i dont want to become a little sickly animal adam has to take care of and people frankly have a limited amount of sympathy for other ppl talking complaining about things they arent experiencing themselves.

[get-punked]

heyo, im a young punk and was wondering a few things:

is it really looked down on to ever wash battle jackets? i wear mine to school and kinda worry about stinking up enclosed spaces.

if i were to wash my patch vest, all of my patches so far are hand made(can’t go to shows or buy stuff online) with acrylic mixed with fabric medium on denim, should i just soak it in a tub or should i avoid any kinds of soap? the vest is also denim.

if someone else could help me better can you please direct me to them? thanks for your time!(sorry if this reads like an email)

no one in the scene irl is going to care whether or not you wash your jacket, it's totally up to you if that's something you want to do.

my main vest is about 4 years old, only washed it once when I first got it, and today it doesn't have much of a smell at all. certainly doesn't stink, and no ones ever complained. vest stink isn't really something to worry about if youre always wearing it over something else 😁

if you do need to wash your vest for whatever reason, it's best to handwash it. normal laundry detergent is perfectly fine.

i DIY the majority of my patches too, with the same method of using an acrylic medium. I've found these patches hold up very well to being washed!

start by giving the vest a soak in lukewarm water with some detergent for 30 minutes, then do that a second time. After the second soak, gently agitate the vest in the water, like you would when handwashing any other delicate garment. then rinse your vest, wring it out gently, and hang it somewhere to dry.

this is how I wash my patched tee shirts and hoodies, and I've never had any problems with patches fading or falling apart :)

#asks #anon #how to punk

[iphisesque]

So like what's the deal with the incest stuff. Is it a bit? Did you actually fuck one or both of your parents? Do you just want to? You don't seem, like, upset about it in a way I'd expect if you'd been abused as a child, but maybe my expectations aren't right. Sorry if this is rude but your posts are confusing me.

it is a bit rude but i do want to answer it in earnest just to like clear things up and whatnot (and tbh i doubt there's any way to ask this question nicely so i don't blame you at all lmao).

[very long ramble under the cut in case you understandably don't care or don't want to hear about this; tw for parental abuse and incest]

i didn't actually have sex with either of my parents, i went through a lot of abuse and neglect on both their parts in ways i am not comfortable just enumerating online and that honestly i am not yet comfortable facing in general; i was also raised in a very weird way, which i don't even mean as a negative thing, but one of the things my family believes in (to varying degrees) is that i am on some level the reincarnation of my late grandfather, whom my mother has an actual proper electra complex about. i don't like to throw around the word "emotional incest", im not an expert or a professional and it's a word that gets thrown around way too much to have any credibility anymore, but i do think there was some of that going on with my mother, simply by virtue of our situation being the way it was — struggling single mom with a chronic illness and her eldest star prodigy daughter, tale as old as time or whatever.

i never liked my father, not since i was a child, and i honestly dreaded spending time with him whenever i had to; i definitely saw my mom as a respite from having to go to my father's place or even interact with him at all, not entirely deservedly, since with some distance i can see that he was trying to do his best and that my mother was almost as abusive as him. regardless, it was very much the least of two evils, and there was a long time when i was a teenager that i absolutely hated my mother nearly as much as i hated my father: part of that is definitely due to our clashing opinions on how i should dress and carry myself, she always wanted me to be more feminine-presenting and "sexual" whereas i wanted to be as masculine and modest as possible (which is definitely how i present now, and i do think with time she's grown to understand that it wasn't a phase). at the same time, i also understood this preoccupation as her just wanting me to be like my peers and not be socially ostracized, whereas my father's homophobia and dislike of my gender presentation i had trouble perceiving as anything but him being disappointed he couldn't control me (again, not entirely deservedly).

there would be a lot to get through here, but essentially: neither of my parents were good to me, my mother was the least bad and we clung to each other like lifeboats, my father i could not bear to be around and me and my sister would try as hard as we could not to go see him or spend time with him, so i adapted to my mother's toxic environment as best as i could. i recognized this situation as bad and unhealthy, and i was itching to leave, literally counting down the days until my graduation when i was 13: leaving home was always my dream, especially since my parents and especially my mother were never able to leave their own, and when it came time to make my decision for university i went to rome in a heartbeat (whenever i complain about this city it is with the utmost understanding that she is my ticket to freedom).

however, i was so excited to sever the umbilical cord around my neck that i underestimated the degree to which i would suffer from it: i obviously did not miss my father, and i missed my sister very much as expected (and she's now all alone in the same hell i was stuck in, so i feel really guilty about leaving her), but i found myself missing home and my mother very intensely, i longed and still long to go back home even though i know for a fact i would be absolutely miserable if i did go back. me and my mother both have been sublimating that same homesickness of each other in a "romantic" way, i guess, missing each other like you would miss a life partner and acting accordingly — i suppose we were life partners, in a way, and i can't help feeling like this even knowing what she put me through, i can't help making excuses for her even though i know the reality of her actions, in a way that doesn't ring true for my father.

basically to answer your question, i feel like this incest thing i have going on is a sublimation or like archetypal rendition of my very complex feelings about my mother and my father: it's not that i want to do anything with them, it's a way my brain has found to cope with their abuse and with my present situation, and while definitely not the healthiest, i don't mind entertaining it for now, since it makes me feel good. i am at a point in my life where i cannot impose restrictions on my mind, so i just let myself feel how i feel and experience the world how i do: i am sure in the future i will think back on this season of my life and cringe, but i hope i will have enough grace towards my past self that i will be able to forgive myself and move on with my life. at the end of the day, i believe everyone is entitled to their feelings and that someone's thoughts are not as important as their actions, so the fact that i feel these things doesn't prevent me from being the person i want to be, especially since i don't go around sharing my thoughts on this in real life and risk actually triggering people. i express my thoughts on the internet because it's the ultimate safeword: if you are an actual victim of incest or someone who's otherwise triggered by incest and my blog understandably makes you upset, you can just close it and block me and never look at it again, just as i do with e.g. eating disorder blogs: this says nothing about us as people, just that we know what we can and cannot bear to see and are able to act accordingly.

i hope this was a somewhat clear explanation and that i answered your question to satisfaction! it goes without saying that my fascination with fictional incest and its horror is somewhat detached from my own incestuous feelings, though there's obviously some overlap insofar as your personal experiences inform the types of art you enjoy: i was as young as 12-14 and fascinated by incest literature, i always understood that fiction and reality were two separate matters (and that fiction can treat horrific topics with the respect and gravity they deserve and that is often absent from real life discussion of those very same topics) — though i am sure my subconscious did pull from those very themes and archetypes i enjoy reading about when it was developing this coping mechanism, that's just how the human mind works.

#incest tw #abuse tw #long post (like LONG long. open readmore at your own risk) #this isn't proofread so forgive me if this isn't any stellar prose on my part though i do hope it's at least legible