#idk what to do like i honestly wish i had meth or coke at this point lol. anything to force my brain out of this fucking static haze

[mrsmarlasinger]

Hmmmmmmmm quick question! What do you do when your executive dysfunction has reached such a critical state that you:

are actively ignoring things you desperately need to do

are ghosting your employers (even though you can make it all go away by doing the one thing you most need to do: send an email and QUIT)

have almost three dozen notifications that you can't even bring yourself to look at

completely unironically have done nothing but sleep and flip between two apps for days

are fucking up your professional/financial future even though you need to move out in a matter of months

✨and✨

are paralyzed by anxiety that keeps mounting to increasingly unsustainable heights

YET

you GENUINELY CANNOT figure out how to PHYSICALLY FORCE YOUR BODY to do the (extremely short, extremely important) list of things you keep telling yourself you're going to do

because at this point you can't even shower or change the clothes you've been wearing for days on end?

Asking for a friend. I'm the friend.

#i'm actually really really scared at this point #i don't know what to do i can't get unstuck i feel like i'm being fucking possessed by a demon of sloth or something (idk i'm not catholic) #the last time this happened THIS badly was a year ago in my last semester of college #i literally was not going to graduate bc I couldn't finish my online course and i was every day paralyzed with fear but i COULDN'T #eventually i sat down once for 8 hrs straight and once for 27 hrs straight and knocked it out in two sittings. how did i do that #i feel like i have no control over myself. all i am all the time is tired and miserable and scared and i can't stop sleeping i just can't #i sleep through every single day and i can't stop it. i can't even stop myself from eating chips and candy and fucking bullshit like that #i'm literally just in what feels like a crisis but it's the most static passive crisis on earth and looks from the outside like NOTHING #like you talk to me and think i'm fine and just being really lazy but inside i am panicking and i hate myself but i'm STUCK #idk what to do like i honestly wish i had meth or coke at this point lol. anything to force my brain out of this fucking static haze #i think i'll pound some kratom. red to gloss over the anxiety‚ white for energy. just parachute a couple grams and cure it. i hope. #god you have no idea what i'd do just to get off tumblr and reddit for ten minutes #personal #executive dysfunction #adhd #depression #actually adhd #actually depressed #untreated adhd #vent #vent tw #vent cw #tw vent #cw vent #mental illness #mental illness tw

[andreablog2]

I’m honestly blessed to have never had good Coke and have 0 desire to do Coke. Idk my close friend/family circle was very like “Coke is meth don’t do it if you do I’ll never talk to you again” but basically everything else was fine then my friends as I got a little older were like “Coke is basically like weed it’s just good when you’re out drinking everyone does it” literally couldn’t even tell you what it felt like now I still kind of find it the most crackheadish to do. Downers and dissociatives were more my thing when I did drugs and now I’m trying to be in the best mindset for my 9-5 those days are truly past me. I wish I was like a party animal but that’s just not me…