This Reply by @neil-gaiman reminded me of two things:
(1) How much I despised doing, and avoiding, compulsory Games / Sports / Gym / PE / PT / Whatever.
(2) That I never, ever have to do, or avoid, compulsory Whatever again in my life.
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I spent my whole school career avoiding them, and forged sick notes which helped that avoidance were the first really successful fiction-writing of my life.
I also learned that when acting the part of someone with a sprained ankle, a tiny stone in the appropriate shoe was a good reminder of which ankle to limp on, while an air of suffering bravely borne was always more convincing if that air was scented with a faint hint of the embrocation rubbed into one sock.
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Neil didn't mention the effects of time of year or weather, but both were frequent entries in My List Of Unpleasing Things About Games.
Leaving out PT / Gym / PE or whatever, which was indoors and - thanks to the solidity of the equipment - a weekly source of sprains, strains, bruises, mild concussion and deep loathing, my old school used to observe Ye Olde Academic terms and their associated sporting pleasures.
This says something about which I'm not quite sure, and I see it's replaced them with plain old Autumn-Spring-Summer Term, which says something else about which I'm even less sure.
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So there was Michaelmas Term (August to Christmas), and rugby.
A soggy school rugby pitch in Northern Ireland in November, halfway through the game with the pitch well churned up, the daylight fading, the rain turning to sleet and every other member of both teams still (a) Too Large and (b) Too Keen, was a reluctant 12-year-old's equivalent of Flanders Fields on the Western Front ca. 1916.
(No artillery or machine-guns, but (a) and (b) were quite enough.)
I was also a skinny reluctant 12-year-old - those who know me now can believe that or not as you please - and the icy breezes which whistled unimpeded up, across and down the legs of my too-baggy-now-but-he'll-grow-into-them shorts were at least one cause of a lifelong fondness for saunas, hot tubs and steam baths.
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Then there was Hilary Term (January to Easter) and field hockey.
That was when the School Armoury issued hockey sticks and sent us forth onto the Artificial Pitch, which wasn't as muddy as the grass-covered rugby one but could produce amazing scabby knees and elbows after a tumble at speed, either after the ball or more often away from the opposition's bloody-minded front row.
Being artificial, rainwater didn't soak in but just sat there in puddles, and sometimes in early term they froze hard enough that field hockey could become ice hockey in the space of a couple of strides, cue another tumble and more scabs. Oh yes, and my shorts were still too baggy, so icy breezes in unwanted places continued to be an ongoing delight.
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And then there was Trinity Term (post-Easter to July) and field athletics then cricket, AKA liveliness meets somnolence.
That was when the sky became increasingly blue, the birdies sang tweet-tweet, the sun shone more often, the air became noticeably warmer and anyone with sense enjoyed as much of the soon-to-be-summer days as worries about impending End-Of-Term exams allowed.
It was also a time for field athletics until Half-Term, featuring long-jumps, high-jumps and runs of various speed and duration.
We re-learned every year that it was possible to get a nasty sunburn even in a Northern Ireland May, that unless the groundskeeper raked the sand in the long-jump pit properly there would be at least one souvenir from a local cat, that sweat could break out with the least exertion because sunny and humid were frequently simultaneous, and that horseflies were always ready to sample new blood and the way they got that blood was a painful process.
It still is.
Bastards.
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After Half-Term it was cricket, which combined disinterested boredom and pointless intermittent activity at a nearly Zen level with me being very, very bad at it.
I was no good as a bowler, I could throw straight or I could throw hard, but throwing hard and straight at the same time was something I never seemed to master.
Oh dear.
I was no good as a batsman, I tended to step out and slosh so the ball went in all directions, including on a couple of occasions straight up and straight down again, though not high enough or for long enough to get any runs.
What a shame.
I was no good as a wicketkeeper because I was more butterfingered than a clumsy dairymaid, and what I didn't drop I would handle wrongly, like that time I made what would have been a perfect catch except I fumbled it and knocked the stumps down before, not after.
Oops.
My incompetence at everything up close was Really Quite Remarkable, so I was invariably sent out to one of the deep field positions where, unless something Silly happened, I could be safely ignored and - if the grass was long enough - I would be ignored whatever happened.
I read a lot of good books that way.
Not a single one was about sport.
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It’s RWC eve, and with kickoff tomorrow at 8:15 PM UK time, some speculation is in order for the 9 people on tumblr who follow it.
For those who don’t know, rugby union is a sport not far removed from American football, based more on evasion than contact however. There are 15 players on each team, and the ultimate goal is to get the ball grounded in the other team’s try area - comparable to the end zone in NFL. Unlike NFL though, the ball can only be passed backwards in rugby (unless you’re kicking it), turning it into a whole different ball game, so to speak.
Should a team achieve this, they score 5 points, and can attempt a conversion - that’s kicking the ball from a tee between the upright posts - for an extra 2. Penalties can also be kicked for 3 points outside of try scoring situations, making for a strategic and slightly complicated scoring system, though yet again NFL fans won’t be unfamiliar with it. It’s worth noting that games have been won solely on penalty points though, so don’t underestimate them.
Now, for the teams:
As it’s still a developing sport, not even competing with the likes of soccer or cricket, there are only 20 participating teams in the RWC. There are several countries that have adopted it as their national sport however, including Wales, New Zealand, and many of the pacific islands.
Of the four pools, only two from each will advance to the quarter finals, while third placed in the pool will automatically qualify for the next tournament, giving teams plenty to play for, even if they aren’t going to win every game.
With that said, there are favourites and no hopers among those that have qualified;
The Favourites
🇫🇷 - France. As this year’s hosts, France are currently ranked 3rd in the world, and are notoriously unpredictable. Able to beat - or lose to - just about anyone, France have been the bridesmaids of the Rugby World Cup three times now. With flair, team depth and a home field advantage, they’re expected to go far, and should be guaranteed a place in the semifinals or better.
Which French team shows up may be revealed when they play New Zealand in the opening match.
🇮🇪 - Ireland. Ranked number one in the world, but with a poor record at World Cups, never getting past the quarterfinals, Ireland don’t thrive under the pressure of expectation, preferring to act as the underdog and surprise people instead.
Nevertheless, with a dedicated following, solid recent form, and trailblazing coach Andy Farrell, this could be the year they break that curse, though they’ll have to escape the Pool of Death first.
🇳🇿 - New Zealand. Historically the best rugby nation on the planet, New Zealand were near unmatched in this sport until recently, remaining at the top of the rankings for almost ten consecutive years. Their form has taken a dip recently, particularly after a record breaking loss to South Africa, but only time will tell whether the infamous All Blacks can bounce back, or if they were just hustling.
🇿🇦 - South Africa. As the current champs, alongside terrific form and team depth, the Springboks are expected to go far this year. While they are also stuck in the Pool of Death with Ireland and Scotland, they have a tremendous pedigree in the sport, matching New Zealand’s record three victories, despite featuring in two less World Cups. Thriving under pressure, the Springboks combine esteem and unconventional playstyles - you’ll hear the phrase ‘bomb squad’ used a lot when they’re playing - a lot of fans will see this World Cup as South Africa’s to lose.
The Dark Horses
🏴 - Scotland. Currently ranked 5th in the world, Scotland are in strong form and have surprising team depth for such a small rugby nation. Unpredictable and world beating on a good day (yet still waiting on that historic victory against the All Blacks), Scotland would be expected to do well this year… if they weren’t in the Group of Death alongside Ireland and South Africa. These are both teams Scotland can beat, but will they remain consistent for a full eighty minutes of play? That’s the main concern.
🇦🇷 - Argentina. Often forgotten as a rugby nation due to their soccer pedigree, Argentina are one of this tournament’s secret weapons. With solid form, growing momentum and a lucky placement in the pools however, los Pumas can probably reach the semifinals.
🇦🇺 - Australia. Famous rivals to the All Blacks, Australia’s form has fallen in recent years, but not to the point where they should be counted out. Almost causing a massive upset against New Zealand, leading them for most of the game on their own turf, when the Wallabies get it right they can be deadly, and they’ve won this tournament twice as well, so don’t write them off just yet.
🏴 - England. Having won the RWC in 2003, not to mention inventing the sport, England have a rugby pedigree that can’t be denied. Their recent form has been poor however, recording several record losses, as well as a first ever loss to Fiji. While they should make it out of their pool - though this is largely because it’s the easiest pool by far - England won’t be expected to go much further, maybe scraping past the quarterfinals if they’re lucky.
🏴 - Wales. Between funding issues and player retirement, Wales are a depleted side this World Cup. While inconsistent across previous tournaments, they have notched up some remarkable results in the past, and could do so again under legendary coach Warren Gatland. It’s far more likely that they’ll struggle however, and may not even make it out of the pool this year, with Fiji and Georgia looking strong.
The No Hopers
🇮🇹 - Italy. While their form has been good, and they’ve made great strides in recent years, Italy are grouped in with France and New Zealand, the latter of which they’ve never beaten. Short of a miracle, Italy won’t be making it out of their pool.
🇫🇯 - Fiji. Recording a famous win in Twickenham on their last warmup match, Fiji have form and momentum on their side, and will be aiming for the quarterfinals. They likely won’t get any further, but for a tiny island nation, Fiji punch well above their weight.
🇼🇸 - Samoa. Having upset traditionally stronger nations at previous World Cups, Samoa could surprise a few opponents this year too. Beating either England or Argentina for a qualifying place will be a tough ask, but never say never.
🇹🇴 - Tonga. Also in the Group of Death with Scotland, Ireland and South Africa, Tonga will be gunning for an upset. Their form has been strong, and they perform immensely well for an island of 100,000 people, but escaping the pool will probably be too much of an ask.
🇬🇪 - Georgia. Europe’s ‘other’ rugby nation dominates in the second tier of competitive play, and will hope to upset Wales in this World Cup, just like they did in Cardiff last year. With Fiji also vying for the same spot though, their rough and tumble playstyle may work against them in the long run, as fitness is definitely an issue for bulkier players.
🇯🇵 - Japan. After stunning South Africa 34-32 at RWC2015, and graduating from their pool by beating both Ireland and Scotland at RWC2019, Japan will hope to take advantage of their reputation as the wild card, and escape pools a second time. With England looking vulnerable it’s not impossible, but poor form and and equally hungry Samoa may hold them back.
‘We’re just happy to be here!’
🇺🇾 - Uruguay. South America’s second best rugby nation has grown massively in recent years. Ousting Canada from the qualification rounds, they’ve featured at plenty of World Cups, and even got a surprise win over Fiji last tournament. In a strong pool with France, New Zealand and Italy however, they’ll be fighting with Namibia for what will likely be their sole victory of the tournament.
🇳🇦 - Namibia. Similarly to Uruguay in many ways, Namibia are also the second best in their continent, behind the mighty Springboks. Also in the same group as Uruguay, they’ll be aiming for a single win, with no real hope of graduating from their pool.
🇷🇴 - Romania. A World Cup mainstay, The Oaks have been to all but one tournament, and even that absence was mired in controversy. Between lacklustre recent form and rampant funding issues however, Romania will be lucky to get a win in what’s by far the toughest pool.
🇵🇹 - Portugal. Another nation known more for their soccer, Portugal won’t be expecting much from their pool. If they get a win, they’ll be ecstatic. They qualified by the skin of their teeth, but they made it here. That’s reason enough to celebrate, and it’s only a short plane trip home.
🇨🇱 - Chile. Debuting at RWC2023, Chile qualified with a last gasp victory over the USA, and will likely end up bottom of their pool. Still, qualifying at all is a massive achievement for a nation with such a small following.
…and that’s everything. RWC2023 is considered the most open World Cup in the sport’s history, with as many as six or seven viable contenders. Whoever holds the Webb Ellis Cup aloft in a few weeks is up to debate, but it should be entertaining nonetheless. Game on!
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