#it literally took me so long to find a gif of isobel looking in the mirror

[thefae-journal]

coloring outside the lines

Fandom: Roswell, New Mexico POV: second person, Isobel

word count: 947 originally posted: December 20, 2020 warnings: implied sexual content ig

summary: The four times Isobel looks in a mirror and sees someone else, and the one time she sees herself.

Also on AO3

Roswell, New Mexico masterlist Masterlist

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1. May 2008

You stand in the bathroom, adjusting your hair in its complicated--but beautiful--bun. Ann said to leave it go, not to touch it so you don't ruin it, but the bobby pins are pulling at your thin strands, and it's something you're not used to. The mirror, this square piece of glass above the sink, shimmers under the dim lights and shows you yourself, your frustrated look as you groan and tug at your hair. They know how thin your hair is. A part of you wishes that your hair was like Michael's--nice and thick, layers upon layers. Maybe then, updos wouldn't be so painful on your scalp. 

At some point, you decide to give up and concede to the pulling. Girls have to deal with pain to be beautiful, right? Beauty is pain, you hear your subconscious say in the back of your head. The different styles that don't work with your hair, the dress that's one size too small but you say fits just fine, the many blisters that reside on the back of your heels before you try on that new pair of mesh heels. You're not sure how to feel about it, this beauty is pain thing. Not that you mind it. You don't. You have to do this to feel pretty, be pretty. 

2. June 2012

You go out. You find some guy, and honestly, you don't remember his name, but you fuck him anyway in the bar's bathroom, your ass on the sink's marble vanity. You wish the music was louder to drown out his grunts. You don't release. You can tell, he only cares about himself, as he zips up his pants. Gosh, you were so close. So fucking close. You watch him leave the bathroom, a glare in your eyes. 

It's your twenty-first birthday. It's Max and Michael's, too. But Michael doesn't want to do the stereotypical twenty-first birthday thing that humans do. And Max? You have no fucking clue where he is. You wanted to get laid, and you did. It wasn't good, though. Probably the worst you've had. 

You scoff and hop off the vanity to fix yourself, make yourself look more presentable before someone else can walk in. You face the mirror to adjust your hair, or try to. Your curls are unraveled, not as perfect as they were when you left the house earlier this evening. They might as well not be curls at all anymore. Just strands of hair you attempted to curl, but the iron wasn't hot enough to make them stay. You remember, maybe you should have used hair spray. That's what humans do, right? They use hair spray? 

3. Fall 2018

You'll be marked as a danger to yourself and others. 

Everyone you know, everyone who knows you're... different knows you're a killer. This beast just waiting deep inside you, waiting for the right time to come out and play. You don't know this beast, whatever it is. It scares you, though, because what you do know is that this beast is a part of you. Is you. As you look at yourself in the mirror, in the room that's going to be yours for the next few days, maybe a week, your face is fading. All of your features shift and twist into something you can't bare to see, so you turn away. 

This is who you are now. 

And I'll be locked in, right?  you ask, moving towards the window, far from that bewitched mirror.

4. Winter 2018

When you look at your hands, all that you see is... that moment from ten years ago, that moment that haunts you into oblivion. You hold on to this dress, colors winding in some pattern, reaching out from the mirror and into your hands, and you can't even focus on the dress itself because your hands... your hands have someone else's blood on them. Someone you--

Noah kisses your shoulder, and you jump back with a gasp. Fuck. Woah, easy killer. 

Someone you loved. 

5. Fall 2019

You've never been to Planet 7. It's not your type of bar, nothing like the Wild Pony or Saturn's Rings. But you decide to change things up a bit, try something new. Anything so men aren't breathing down your neck the whole time, touching you unnecessarily as they walk passed you, buying you drinks. A place that plays decent music.

Maybe you'll meet someone there, at Planet 7. Dance with them all night, bring them home, and you know where that typically goes. You need a night to yourself, to have fun, especially after the craziness that was bringing Max back from the dead. You desperately need a break. And going to Planet 7 tonight is your break. 

You hold different outfits up in front of you at the mirror in your bedroom. On your bed is a pile of clothes you picked out, tried on, but threw aside, discarding them. They don't feel like you anymore, the real you. The you that's been hiding away for so long, the you that was covered by lies and games of pretend. You're growing, blossoming. You smile. And your reflection in the mirror smiles back. 

You choose a black dress that fits you well, shows off your shoulders. You leave the mirror, once you slip on the dress, to search through your various jewelry and settle on a gold pair of hoops along with a gold chain necklace to match, maybe a few rings. You go back to your reflection, put on the hoops, rings, and necklace. You look at yourself, and you can't tear your eyes away. Darling, you're beautiful. 

#fanfiction #fanfic #writer #roswell new mexico #rnm fic #rnm #isobel evans #it literally took me so long to find a gif of isobel looking in the mirror #it shouldn't have considering that she spent a whole seasoning doing so

[multiversediaries]

one night

↳ you had to share a room, and a bed with damon salvatore. you were in love with damon, even if he treated you terribly. will his feelings change over night?

damon salvatore x reader

warnings: cursing, mean damon, insecurity

part count: 1/?

“oh, you have to be kidding me.” you heard damon say, leaning into the front desk counter. the salvatore brothers, elena and you had to spend the night at a hotel. you had all went find out more about isobel, elena’s biological mother. it was already night time, and stefan decided it was best to rest for the night and get back on the road in the morning.

you stood behind the salvatores as they tried to book you all rooms. the front desk had informed you that they only had two rooms, with only one bed each available. you didn’t see a problem with that, you were exhausted, and just needed to rest. but damon didn’t seem to like it, since stefan and elena would get to share one of the rooms. elena and stefan had been dating for a very long time, yet damon didn’t seem to ever move on from her. you on the other hand, liked damon, a lot. you could even say you were in love with him. but his attention has never been on you. it has always been elena.

“damon, it doesn’t matter. we need the rest, and there’s not any other hotels close by.” elena said, before sighing and leaning into stefan’s chest, tired. stefan nodded, looking at his brother, who only scoffed.

“yeah, cause you both get to share a room. me? i get y/n.” damon said, making your heart shatter. you thought you’d get used to his mean remarks but, it has never gotten any easier. you loved damon, but you had to admit that he wasn’t the sweetest person out there, at least not to you.

“come on, damon. stop. you could hurt y/n’s feelings.” stefan said, looking over at you, hoping you wouldn’t be upset over damon’s comment. you shrugged. it hurt, but at this point, you were so tired, you just needed to rest.

“it’s alright. i just want to sleep.” you said, hoping to head to the rooms soon. elena nodded, as she yawned a bit. damon took the keys, handing one to stefan, and began to walk towards the rooms. you could tell he was upset.

“i’m sorry about him. you know he can be a bit..” stefan started, apologetic for his brother’s behavior.

“of a dick? i know.” you finished, causing stefan to chuckle gently. he nodded. you smiled, wishing them a goodnight before walking towards your room. you sighed, a bit reluctant to open the door. it was an absolute dream to sleep next to the man you were so deadly in love with, but god, it truly felt so horrible and heartbreaking to know that he wished he were there with someone else, literally anyone else but you, it seemed.

you opened the door and saw him, sitting by the bed, with a bottle of alcohol in his hands. you decided to not say a word to him, and take a shower instead. you felt so dirty, you had sweat a lot during the day. you grabbed a few towels and walked towards the bathroom, soon locking yourself inside. you took a well-needed bath, you took your time in the bathroom, because honestly, you didn’t want to get out and deal with damon. you soon finished and got dressed once again. you walked out of the bathroom, drying your wet hair.

“finally.” damon said, dryly, before walking past you and locking himself in the bathroom. you sighed and continue what you were doing. you were too tired to deal with him. you lost no time, and headed over to the bed, where you finally laid to rest. you exhaled, before smiling. you got under the covers and decided to use your phone for a while. soon enough, damon came out of the bathroom.

he walked out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, completely shirtless. you almost stopped breathing as you looked at his gorgeous figure. damon salvatore was one of the most breathtaking men you had ever come across in your life. he was a dream come true, definitely too good to be true.. if it weren’t for that attitude he always had. after getting dressed, he got into his side of the bed, without saying a word to you.

it was freezing inside the room. even under all the covers, you felt extremely cold. you could feel the heat radiate from damon’s body and you wished you could just hug him, to both heat yourself up, and to feel him close. you didn’t even realize you had scooted just a little bit closer to him.

“god, y/n. can you back off?” damon said, looking at you, annoyed. you glared at him, completely confused. you didn’t even touch him.

“what? i didn’t do anything, damon. it’s just cold as hell in here.” you said, now getting mad at him. he exhaled, even more annoyed by you, before turning his back on you.

“i couldn’t care less, just give me space.” he finished and you just sighed. you even found yourself wondering why you were even in love with this man. he treated you so horribly. you also turned your back on him. now, you didn’t even want to be in the same bed as him. he was so mean to you, for no reason. what did you ever do to deserve such treatment from him? it wasn’t your fault elena didn’t love him back.

a hour passed, and you couldn’t seem to fall asleep. you kept overthinking everything. your feelings were hurt, and that seemed to keep you awake. being next to the person you loved, yet feeling so unwanted was not a nice feeling at all. you felt so.. disgusting in a way. you felt insecure, and just unlovable. you sighed, and got up from the bed. you decided to give damon the space he so desperately wanted. you grabbed your pillow, and headed to the couch. you laid down in the couch, and tried to finally fall asleep. soon enough, you did.

damon woke up in the middle of the night, feeling cold himself. he turned around, seeking your warmth, only to find he was alone in bed. he got worried quickly, wondering if something happened to you. he got off the bed, to look for you. he soon found you, sleeping in the small, uncomfortable couch next to the door. he didn’t know why, but his heart sank at the view.

he watched you as you slept, uncomfortably, hugging your legs to hopefully warm yourself up. you had no blanket protecting you from the cold. he cursed at himself. he sighed, walking closer to you, in order to pick you up and take you towards the bed. you didn’t deserve this. he gasped, as soon as his fingers touched your now cold skin. he almost started panicking, you were stone cold.

“fuck, you must be freezing.. fuck.” damon said under his breath, picking you up and leading you towards the bed. he laid you down on his side, since it still had his warmth on it, and covered you with the blankets gently. he got on your side and pulled your body close to his. he hugged you so softly, so tenderly. he had never been this way towards anyone.

he caressed your hair, cursing at himself over and over again for being so unexplainably mean and inconsiderate to you. you had done nothing wrong to him and he knew that. he always did this, taking out his anger on people who don’t deserve it. but it had never made him feel as guilty as this. he kept biting his lip anxiously, whenever he felt your cold skin. he spent the entire night holding you, making sure you were warm.

===========

it was the next morning, and you were still incredibly tired. you had barely gotten any sleep. you woke up in the bed, confused. did damon move you? you didn’t care. you were still hurt, and slept in the cold for him. just because you didn’t want to be close to him, because he made you feel so unwanted. you were having breakfast, before hitting the road once again.

“how was your sleep, y/n? sorry to mention it, but you look a bit rough.” elena said, a bit worried for you, you chuckled a bit at her. she was sitting down next to you, while the salvatores sat across from you. damon kept his eyes locked on you, feeling terrible for your lack of sleep. he felt terrible for the way he has been treating you all together.

“i’m okay, elena. just want to go home.” you said, looking down at your plate. you just wanted to be alone. you missed your room. damon couldn’t help but feel even more worried for you.

soon, you all finished eating and decided to get back on the road. you were watching the brothers place all of your bags in the trunk of the car, while you and elena conversed. you were still cold, it was a cold day, very breezy. you couldn’t help but hug yourself, trying to warm up a bit. damon seemed to notice. he took off his jacket and walked over to you, then putting the piece of clothing around your shoulders. he didn’t say a word, and neither did you. even then, you were thankful. he nodded his head and walked back to stefan, who stared at him puzzled. damon had never been so kind towards anyone who wasn’t elena.

“alright, time to go.” damon said, getting on the driver’s seat. you nodded and walked towards the backseat, where elena stopped you. you giggled softly at her and nodded. she probably wanted to cuddle with stefan the whole ride back. you got into the passengers seat, leaving the two lovebirds in the back seat.

damon was glad you were next to him. it was like he needed to have his eyes on you, all the time. he needed to make sure you were alright and that you didn’t need anything. it seemed like after what happened, he realized how much he truly cares about you. he started driving, you knew the trip was going to be long, so you leaned on the window, and looked at the scenery.

you didn’t know you had fallen asleep until you woke up, around an hour later. you yawned softly, looking back at stefan and elena who were also sleeping, you smiled at them. you looked at damon, who was already looking at you. you broke eye contact and went back to watching through the window.

“are you feeling alright? do you need anything?” damon said lightly, staring at you once in a while. you looked at him, a bit shocked he was even asking.

“it’s okay, damon. you don’t have to act like you suddenly care about me.” you said, emotionless, while relaxing into your seat. you wished to be home already. you heard damon sigh.

“i do care, y/n.” he said, stealing a few glances, trying to keep his eyes on the road. you almost laughed at his words.

“sure, you do.“ you whispered, loud enough for him to hear it. he sighed deeper and continued driving. after a while, you reached your house, finally. they were dropping you off first, since elena was currently living with the salvatores. you smiled, starting to get off the car. damon got off the car, and started taking your bags out of the trunk.

“thank you for coming, y/n! it meant a lot!” elena said. you smiled at her, reaching for her hand and giving it a light squeeze.

“of course! i’m always here for you.” you replied, smiling. you looked at stefan. “see you guys later.” you said, saying your final goodbyes before getting off the car. you saw damon waiting for you in front of your front tour, with your bags. you sighed, walking past him and opening up your front door. you turned back to look at him and reached out to grab your bags, he pulled them back. you looked at him confused.

“i’ll take them up to your room.” he said, you looked at him, puzzled. what was going on? you were so confused. you shook your head and tried reaching for them again, to no avail.

“no need, damon. just give them.” you said, reaching for them once again. damon brushed past you, walking into your home, up the stairs to your room. you sighed and followed behind him. he placed the bags on top of your bed as you stood by the door frame.

“thank you. see yourself out.” you said, walking towards your closet, you looked at yourself in the mirror, noticing you were still wearing his jacket. “oh, wait.” you said, before taking it off and handling it back to him. “now you can leave.” you said, he furrowed his eyebrows at you. you had never acted so cold towards him before. it bothered him.

“listen. i’m sorry, okay?” he said, taking a step closer to you. you sighed, not wanting to deal with this anymore. you turned around and opened your bag.

“whatever, damon. i’m used to being treated like this by you, anyways.” you said, before he grabbed your wrist, making you turn around to face him. you gasped a bit.

“let me apologize, will you?” he said, just needing to apologize to you. he felt so awful for treating you so badly for so long. you sighed.

“i’m sorry. i really am. you don’t know how shitty it felt to watch you shaking, in an uncomfortable couch, y/n.” he started, looking deeply into your eyes. “i’m truly sorry. i know i’m not great with words, but please know i’m being honest here.” he said, as you stared at him, stunned by him. you had never seen damon apologize to anyone, not even his brother.

“it’s fine, damon.” you said, shaking your head. “it’s not like i’m someone important, i’m just elena’s friend. i’m used to being treated like this all the time.” you said, looking down at your feet. he shook his head. elena has always been the one everyone cares the most for, but you.. it felt like no one truly loved or took care of you.

“why do you always talk of yourself like that?” he asked, truly confused. he lifted up your head by your chin, and looked into your eyes. “fuck, i feel so horrible for making you feel this way.” he cursed under his breath, his eyes glaring at your lips for a while, before returning to your eyes. why was he feeling this way?

“you’re so much more than just someone’s friend, alright?” he said, planting a soft kiss on your cheek, right next to the corners of your mouth. your cheeks flushed immediately by his sudden actions. “so much more.” he whispered, before smirking lightly, and planting yet another gentle kiss by your temple.

he felt something. something he has only felt near katherina and elena. but so much more intense. it terrified him. he stood there, staring into your gorgeous eyes when he realized he was falling. how and when did this happen? he was absolutely petrified.

he felt so connected to you, he felt as if he belong right by your side. he masked his feelings by anger and being mean towards you. he had finally been honest with himself about you. he was falling for you. it was just so sudden and it didn’t make sense to him. you had just been in his life for only a short period of time, yet you meant so, so much to him. why?

he was confused and scared at the realization of his feelings towards you. he had only been in love twice, and he had never been loved back. but he knew for a fact you loved him. the fact that he was loved was still something he couldn’t believe. damon was scared out of his mind, but so eager to have you. he knew he needed to be worthy of loving you. he knew he needed to earn your forgiveness, and then your love. but he was ready to be fully yours. he was ready to give his entire heart and soul to you, and only you.

#tvd #damon salvatore #salvatore brothers #damon salvatore x y/n #damon salvatore x reader #the vampire diaries #tvd damon #damon salvatore imagine

[bullet-prooflove]

I’d love to see your version of a secret spouse/SO with any of the following

Duarte

Jubal Valentine

Jimmy Lanik

And/Or

Sam Abrams.

Feel free to write as many or as few of those as you want. You are a genius writer.

Also, why don’t you write for barba or Carisi anymore?

Jubal doesn’t tell anyone he’s seeing you. He keeps it on the downlow because he doesn’t want to jinx it. If he’s honest with himself, part of it is because he can’t actually believe that it’s finally happening, that he gets to wake up alongside of you each morning.

It stays a secret for about two months, until Scola comes knocking because he left his I.D badge on your coffee table the night before when the two of you were watching the game. He’s kissing you goodbye when he literally opens the door and sees the other man standing there. He expects it to spread after that but it doesn’t. Scola’s good at keeping secrets, he’s been keeping a lid on the way Jubal feels about you since the day you took a bullet for your partner.

It's O.A. that finds out next, the two of you are getting dinner in a tiny hole in the wall restaurant. Jubal’s just reached across the table and taken your hand when Omar appears alongside of you. He’s picking up an order for dinner with his cousins and saw the two of you sitting there.

“It’s been a long time coming.” He tells the two of you with a knowing smile.

He’s not wrong. It’s taken years to get to this point and Jubal’s grateful it’s happening now after you’ve made the shift to Counter Terrorism.

Maggie works it out when she sees you on a run. It’s six in the morning and she’s completing a second circuit of her new route when she spots the two of you at a coffee shop near the park. She notices Jubal’s wearing yesterday’s shirt, before he leans in to kiss you. She tells O.A. later on that morning and he simply gives her that shit eating grin.

“You knew.” She accuses.

“For over a month.” He tells her.

Tiffany knows that Jubal’s seeing someone, she’s known ever since she pointed out the lipstick on his cheek one morning. She just doesn’t realise who it is until you’re called in to work a case together. She realises how much your body language has changed since you used to work here, how instead of putting distance between the two of you, you’re leaning in instead.

“It’s finally happened.” She tells Scola when the case is over, and he snorts before telling her she’s three months too late.

The relationship isn’t even on Isobel’s radar, not until six months down the line. She’s leaving her office when she sees the two of you step onto the elevator together. Jubal’s hand reaches for yours, fingers entwining, and she knows she’s looking at a couple in love. She smiles to herself because out of everyone the two of you deserve it.

This plays into my Jubal work moving forward. Also the reference to Scola keeping Jubal's secret is to an upcoming fic called 'Just in Case'.

Answer to your Q:

I'm just not a fan of them anymore. I really liked what they did in the end with Rollisi, not the beginning but the way it turned out with them and in my head that's OTP. For Barba, I rewatched his eps a while ago and I just hated what they did to his character towards the end, like he became a different person. - also for me I think I was done with him after I finnished writing 'All In' I couldn't imagine him with anyone other then Jen after that.

#jubal valentine #jeremy sisto #fbi #jubal valentine x reader #jubal valentine x you

[pendragonsandbuckleys]

Reclaiming that broken youth.

Summary: Michael had made it his mission to relive a small piece of the past with Alex. First he tried with the rings, two chunky black and silver things that he’d claimed had been left at the junkyard during his one of his shifts. Alex had simply joked that they weren’t his style anymore and left it at that.

The eyeliner had been a much harder sell and still Alex had refused.

And now, as he was ambling his way up the driveway, he was starting to think that maybe his third attempt would not be so lucky.

-

aka. Michael convinces Alex to let him dye his hair.

Word Count: 4,949

[Also on AO3] 

Was it embarrassing the number of excuses he’d found to come and see Alex? Yes.

Was he going to stop anytime soon? Not likely.

Nostalgia had been rearing its ugly head again leaving him craving a time long since passed and he’d been coming up with whatever reason he could to justify seeing Alex. Going to his house, or the Project Shepard bunker, or the Crashdown where he just happened to bump into him. 

The photo of the two of them had been moved from the cardboard box to the desk along with the few other pictures he treasured of Max and Isobel - he couldn’t make it too obvious after all. But seeing the two of them together like that often made him miss what they used to have. Things were so much simpler back then, until they weren’t.

The problem with nostalgia though was that the feelings weren’t real. They were an echo of what used to be that tended to leave an uncomfortable emptiness the longer you thought about it.

That time had passed and there was no getting it back. Unless?

Surely they didn’t need to be seventeen again to get that feeling back. That soft, carefree feeling that used to settle on their skin as they kissed in the desert.

That’s why he had made it his mission to relive a small piece of the past with Alex. First he tried with the rings, two chunky black and silver things that he’d claimed had been left at the junkyard during one of his shifts. Alex had simply joked that they weren’t his style anymore and left it at that.

The eyeliner had been a much harder sell and still Alex had refused.

And now, as he was ambling his way up the driveway, he was starting to think that maybe his third attempt would not be so lucky.

Three quick taps on the wood brought Alex to the door and he was so focused on the sight of him that Michael barely noticed the smile it brought to his own face. He was in full casual wear, t-shirt, jogging bottoms, matching bed hair sticking up in a perfect mess.

“Hey.” Alex welcomed him with a bright smile. If he was at all surprised to see Michael on his doorstep on an early Saturday morning with absolutely no warning, he hid it very well. His eyes darted over to see where the truck had been parked comfortably on the driveway, before flitting back to Michael.

“I thought we could have some fun.” Michael spoke with a smirk, forgoing any formal greeting, eyes already glistening with mischief. And oh how differently that sentence would have been taken when they were seventeen.

Alex was about to step aside without hesitation when he noticed the box held gently in Michael’s grip. He eyed it warily, already sensing the reasoning for the visit. “What is that?”

“Fun!”

“Um no, I believe that’s called hair dye.”

“Just hear me out.” Michael grinned as he confidently side-stepped his way through the doorway and into the house. “We haven’t hung out properly in a while and we both have the day off…”

Alex shook his head as he pushed the door closed behind him and followed Michael towards the living room. He never would have denied Michael entry, but there was something about him making himself at home that gave Alex a warm feeling in his chest. “See, you keep saying we but I don’t see a box of dye for your hair anywhere.”

“Yeah, well I never had an emo phase, did I?”

“The important word there being phase.” Alex crossed his arms against his chest as he peered down at Michael’s hands again. It was a white box with a bunch of writing on it, but the guy on the front was very clearly modelling the black dye inside. “You know I never actually used to dye my hair back then, right?”

Michael shrugged and waved his hand in the air as if to say whatever, we’re doing it anyway and handed the box over for Alex to get a better look. “You vetoed my other options so I’m stepping up my game.”

Alex watched him closely, noting how he squirmed slightly under his gaze. At first, when Michael had started dropping by a few weeks ago, always at odd hours, always unannounced, Alex had been worried. The ‘hanging out’ excuse could easily have been a guise, an easy escape from any problems he was avoiding and Alex didn’t know how long was best to let Michael hide from whatever was going on.

But seeing him now, wide eyes filled with an innocent sort of playfulness, it looked like Michael really did just want to spend time with him. Even if he did have the most random idea for a pass time. “Why are you so desperate for me to dress all emo again?”

“For…fun?”

Alex chewed his bottom lip to hide the small smile threatening to emerge. “I’m only off work for a week, you know.”

“That’s why it’s temporary.” Michael turned the box around in Alex’s hand and tapped at the words printed clearly on the back. “Three washes and it’s gone.”

“You’ve got an answer for everything, haven’t you?”

-

Michael wasted no time in getting them set up. He grabbed a spare plastic bowl from the kitchen cupboard, an old towel that Alex didn’t care about dirtying and set Alex’s shower stool in front of the large bathroom mirror. 

He should have been embarrassed by how excited he was getting, but he was far too busy being filled with said excitement to care. Against all odds, Alex had actually agreed to do this with very little persuasion required and there was no way he was letting him change his mind.

Alex didn’t interrupt as Michael rummaged his way around the house, finding what he needed and he certainly didn’t show his bemusement at how Michael seemed to know exactly where everything was. And once everything was ready, he took his place in the designated seat, strangely nervous at the thought of Michael dyeing his hair.

Though maybe it wasn’t nerves. He certainly had butterflies, though it could be from the thought of engaging in this teenage sleepover-esque activity. For the boy he liked to come over to his house and willingly run his fingers through his hair for the next hour? Seventeen year old Alex would have done anything for this.

“Right, tell me what to do.” Michael said as he pulled the instructions from the box and handed them to Alex before emptying the rest of the contents next to the sink. He’d probably end up doing it his own way, but he just wanted to give Alex an excuse to stop staring at him as he worked.

As Alex unravelled the instructions a small packet of gloves fell out onto his lap. They didn’t look the sturdiest but it was better than nothing. “There’s the gloves so make sure you wear them,” he said as he placed them next to the bowl.

He gave a quick skim read of the words to get a general idea of what do. There was a lot of writing and he doubted Michael would be patient for long enough to get through it all. “Oh okay, this sounds pretty easy, literally just brush it evenly through my hair.”

Michael nodded distractedly as he carefully fiddled with the lid of the tube. The room wasn’t exactly big and he’d already elbowed a wall with one arm and knocked the empty bowl to the floor with the other. Tripping over the towel had been an added bonus that Alex had enjoyed far too much. He had no idea where this clumsiness had suddenly come from, but now he was being extra careful with everything.

“Put it in gently. We don’t want it going everywhere.” Alex instructed him as he squeezed the dye into the bowl. The coal-black cream squelched as it left the tube and a small drop splattered onto the white tile wall which Michael hastily wiped with the back of his hand. It smeared across the wall at first until he managed to clean it all off.

With everything set up, he clamped Alex’s towel covered shoulders and beamed at him through the mirror’s reflection. “You ready?”

“Go for it.” Alex rolled his eyes at the enthusiasm radiating off Michael. Yep, he definitely felt like a teenager right now.

Michael started out slow. The dye was cool against his fingers as he scooped a blob into his palm. He knew Alex would be able to wash it out almost instantly if it ended up looking terrible, but still, he didn’t want to get it wrong.

He took a breath before reaching for Alex’s hair. Only now did it click just how intimate this activity was for two people who had barely done more than stand a few feet away from each other recently. He thought it would be a bit of fun, getting Alex to dress up in his old high school persona that they both used to love. But now, with the dye in his hand, he realised that meant running his fingers through Alex’s hair. An action that he used to love whenever they kissed. The smooth strands under his fingertips, pulling him closer when he could no longer control his urges.

But they were friends now. And friends dyed each other’s hair, right? Friends helped each other put on makeup or decided outfits if one was going on a date, so doing each other’s hair was no different from all of that.

The strands of hair slid across his palm easily, turning from dark brown to black with a single touch. It felt just as soft as it did ten years ago.

The room was silent as he worked save for Michael’s movements and the occasional hmm from Alex. Michael wasn’t sure if Alex realised that he was making the little noises but he was just glad he was finding it relaxing. The casual glances over Alex’s head and into the mirror showed that his eyes were closed, his lips curled into a small smile.

Michael was surprised by how much he was enjoying it himself. He was used to working with his hands all day, but this was different. Working on the cars was methodical, a heavy-handed muscle memory from years of experience, but this? This was gentle, personal.

It took about as long as would be expected to cover hair of Alex’s length and as Michael moved to the front so he could finish up the fringe, Alex opened his eyes to watch him work, “So really, what’s with all the emo stuff?”

Michael avoided the eye contact as he concentrated on turning the remaining brown into black. How could he explain that he was feeling nostalgic without it sounding sappy?

“It’s probably just some misguided attempt at reclaiming my youth.” He answered as he scooped more dye onto his fingers.

“Okay, but it seems more like we’re reclaiming my youth.”

“Yeah, well, this part of your youth was the best part of mine.” Michael replied without thinking, feeling the heat instantly rise up his cheeks at the honest answer.

The mortification was written so clear on his face that Alex forced himself to hold back a chuckle. They were still working on getting that openness back to their friendship, so for it to come out so easily every now and then was a nice step in the right direction.

“I actually always wanted to dye my hair back then.” Alex spoke up, steering into a new conversation to save Michael’s embarrassment. “It seemed like the next logical step for my fashion choice.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Getting the eyeliner passed dad was enough of a challenge and even then it was something I could take off pretty instantly if need be. I think the dye would have been too much of a risk.”

Michael felt a pang of sympathy for all Alex had to endure back then, he’d seen it firsthand several times all the way up until Jesse Manes’ death after all. But no. They weren’t going to dwell on that today. If they were reclaiming their youth then all unwanted memories were unwelcome and henceforth banned from all thoughts. 

He nudged Alex’s shoulder playfully as he moved back to the bowl. “And you didn’t have an expert hairdresser to do it for you.”

“That too.” Alex laughed, rolling his eyes as he heard the sound of yet another blob of dye dropping to the floor, “Though I didn’t expect my hairdresser to get it everywhere but my hair.”

Michael gritted his teeth with a frown as he looked down at the small black splatter, a glaringly obvious stain against the white. “Hey, that’s only the third time.”

He ran his hands through Alex’s hair for the last time, being careful to check that every strand was covered. The dye had already started doing its job beautifully and emo Alex was very much taking hold.

It was as he was stepping back to inspect his finished work did he notice just how much of a mess he’d actually made, sheepishly pointing out to Alex that there was some on the edge of the sink, a few blobs in the shower and it was on the wall in about four different places.

“How the hell did it get there, I didn’t even go near that wall.” Michael exclaimed, utterly confounded at the mess he’d managed to create. Had he been in his own head so much that his hands had taken on a life of their own? 

“It’s fine,” Alex laughed fondly as he nudged the bin closer with his foot. “Just put the gloves in there before you touch anything else.”

“…wait, there were gloves?”

Alex turned around this time to look at Michael properly. He hadn’t noticed the lack of gloves on the hands in his hair, but looking at them now he could see they were completely covered not by the plastic, but by a creamy black gunk. Michael had a mischievous look on his face, tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek as he tried not to snigger and Alex could feel himself doing the same. “What is the first thing I said to you?”

“Put it in gently?”

They couldn’t hold back their laughter. Scrubbing his hands removed all but the faint grey tint now dyed into his skin, but Michael didn’t care. Maybe it was all the dye fumes, but it felt like he was on a weird kind of high. Here they were, two boys giggling away like they’d been caught making out in the supply closet at school and in that moment everything felt right with the world.

Leaning back against the sink Michael crossed his arms as he admired Alex’s hair from the front. Even slicked back against his head it was looking good but they still had twenty minutes to fill before it was ready. “So, what should we do while we wait?”

Alex slyly leant over to the bowl, still filled a quarter of the way with leftover dye and waggled his eyebrows impishly at the horrified look Michael was now giving him. “Come on Guerin, it washes out.”

It really was quite a small bathroom with nowhere to run so as Alex stood up to get closer, Michael backed away so much he practically fell into the shower. The laughter returned as he tried to hide as much of his hair as he could with his arms. “Nope. These curls are sacred and there’s no way you’re turning them black. The most you’d ever get on me is the eyeliner.”

Alex gasped gleefully, eyes wide with excitement as he watched it dawn on Michael what he’d just said. He opened the bathroom cabinet and there, at the back of the bottom shelf, was Michael’s latest gift to him. Still unused, he’d only kept it for sentimental reasons, a fond reminder of his past self, but now Michael had no excuse.

“Take a seat.” Alex batted his eyelids innocently as he gestured to the stool he had vacated and Michael had no choice but to comply. He always found it hard to deny Alex anything, but right now, he’d do anything to keep that joy in his eyes.

Alex hadn’t used eyeliner in over ten years. At age seventeen it had taken him weeks to perfect the art without smudging it or poking himself in the eye and when he first joined the military he often missed the soothing action of it. But now, a decade on, he still held the pencil with the hands of someone who would never forget how to use it.

Michael looked up at him expectantly from the seat, a slight tingling rushing through him as Alex held his chin to tilt it upwards. He’d never worn any kind of makeup before, never really had the urge to, but there was always a first time for everything.

There was something quite sexy about Alex knowing exactly what to do, telling him when to look up, when to blink, pressing the pencil down just enough to leave the colour on his skin, but not too soft that it tickled. His hands were very gentle as they held Michael’s face and he felt his mind wandering as he let Alex work.

“Guerin, stay still or it’s going in your eye.” Alex admonished lightly, tongue poking out as he concentrated. He was surprised by how steady his hand was being and he didn’t want to mess it up now.

He gave a few more strokes before stepping away, tapping the pencil against his chin as he admired his work with a grin. An eyeliner-wearing Michael was never a look he’d imagined before, but it sure was a look he was appreciating. It was a subtle change, but one that made Alex want to dress him in a leather jacket and start a rock band with him. “All done.”

Mourning the loss of Alex’s touch, Michael sighed as he got to his feet, knees popping as he stood up and leaned in close to the mirror.

He looked…different. Not a bad different, maybe even a good different. It made his eyes seem brighter and his lashes look darker and the longer he looked in the mirror the wider he could see Alex’s smile getting.

“Alright, I’ll give you this one. It doesn’t look too bad.”

“Right!” Alex was practically giddy as he stepped closer to look at Michael’s eyes through the mirror. Their hands brushed lightly as they both leaned against the sink. “I didn’t think it would look this good, but now I’m starting to wish you’d had this look in high school.”

Michael turned to face him then, bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes roamed over Alex’s face. Maybe this whole nostalgia thing wasn’t so bad when you had someone to share it with.

He grabbed the eyeliner from Alex’s hand before he could be stopped and held it above his head with an eager grin as if Alex couldn’t reach it easily. “Your turn.”

-

Michael had been banished to the sofa while Alex washed out the dye. He’d willingly volunteered to help but Alex wanted the finished look to be a surprise. Not that he could blame him. If it looked terrible at least it would give Alex the chance to kick Michael out of the house before he even saw it.

Not that that would actually happen, Michael had done an excellent job and the finished article would prove just that, thank you very much.

The muffled noise of the shower turning on and off filtered through the walls as he peered around the room. He’d seen the inside of Alex’s house enough times now to know the layout but not enough to know its contents. 

The colourful spines of the neat pile of books stood out against the brown of the table they were sitting on. Their titles were too small to read from across the room but it made Michael wonder what kind of books Alex read now. He’d never thought to ask in all the time he’d been back in Roswell. Did he still read fantasy books like the ones Michael used to see him get lost in for hours at a time? Or were they non-fiction, filled with facts about a world that Alex had always longed to explore.

There were a few plants dotted around the room which Michael was nerdy enough to know the names of. They weren’t the type that required much watering though Michael could almost picture a green-thumbed Alex taking care to provide them what they needed.

But taking up most of the space was a whole range of musical items. A turntable alongside a crowded box of records, because of course that’s how Alex liked to listen to his music. A pair of speakers on either of side of his keyboard, a thick black pair of headphones sitting atop the black and white keys. And guitars. So many guitars.

I mean come on, four of them in one room? Alex was practically begging him to pick one up.

Three of them were next to the keyboard, held neatly on their individual stands, but it was the guitar standing alone that caught his attention. It was leaning almost precariously against the wall, looking like it could slide to the floor at the smallest touch but he had a feeling it had been there for a while. It was the one Alex had tried to gift to him all those months ago, after all.

Before he could stop himself, he pushed off the sofa and edged towards the guitar. Its case had been unzipped just enough at the top to show the dark brown wood poking through and Michael didn’t hesitate to unzip it the rest of the way.

Plucking a few of the strings made Michael wonder if maybe Alex had played it recently. It seemed to be perfectly in tune. It had been a little while now since he’d held a guitar, let alone played one, but this one seemed to fit so naturally in his hands.

The faint whirring of the hair dryer could now be heard through the bedroom door and Michael couldn’t help himself. His fingers fell into place effortlessly and played a tune that he once played for Alex all those years ago. It wasn’t hard to remember, it was one of the only songs he actually knew by heart and the muscle memory of the notes hadn’t failed him yet.

As the strings vibrated under his fingertips, the rest of the world fell away, the soft melody filling the room. He’d missed this, the calm that would wash over him whenever he used to play and for a brief moment as his fingers slipped between the C and G chords he wondered why he ever gave the guitar back.

“Suits you.” Alex’s quiet voice interrupted the notes and Michael almost dropped the guitar in his surprise. He hadn’t heard the hairdryer stop, hadn’t heard the door creaking open but the way Alex was smiling at him told him he had nothing to feel embarrassed about.

The smile wasn’t what he was focused on though.  

The inky black hair had turned out so much better than he’d ever imagined. The dark strands contrasted his lightly tanned skin so starkly and Michael could tell that he had taken a few extra minutes to style it a little.

His eyeliner was mismatched and uneven - one eye having been done badly by Michael before Alex, fearing the idea of getting poked in the eye again, had confiscated the pencil and finished the second eye perfectly by himself.

He looked like his innocent seventeen year old self. 

But also not. His features were matured enough to set the illusion off-kilter just slightly.

He looked incredible.

Michael wasn’t sure when his legs had made the decision to stand up, but here he was, two feet away from Alex, staring at him with his mouth half open. Alex took the silence the wrong way though as he gave a nervous laugh, feeling his cheeks redden.

He anxiously rubbed the back of his neck and the movement knocked Michael out of his daze. He slowly dragged his eyes away from Alex’s hair and down to his lips, watching them form the words as he spoke. “It looks terrible, doesn’t it?”

Had Alex even looked in the mirror? Had he not seen what Michael was seeing right now? 

And it’s not even like the hair and makeup changed him that much. He’s looked beautiful the entire time Michael has known him, he just looked beautiful with his old style right this second rather than his new one. 

Maybe Michael just always thought Alex looked most comfortable in his seventeen-year-old style, it was a look he had precisely crafted for himself to best represent the person he was. The black jumpers with bold patterns, the makeup, the piercings. It was the look of a rebellious kid who didn’t want to fit in.

His current style was created through circumstance, through being forced to take on a duty that he never chose but has now made his own. And his style was his own now too, the muted colours much more reserved, but still his choice.

But now standing before him was a beautiful combination of both of those people and oh dear, he’s never really stopped thinking about Alex this way, has he? And more important, how long has he been staring at him without saying a single word?

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his throat had gone strangely dry.

“No.” He whispered in reply as he stepped closer, his feet making their own decisions again and he suddenly couldn’t stop himself. In that moment he couldn’t remember why he had been holding back for all of these months when the person he wanted most in the world was standing right in front of him.

He kissed him before he could stop himself, hands gently grabbing Alex’s face, feeling soft lips against his own. It felt like he was seventeen again, kissing for the first time in the darkened rooms of the UFO Emporium but as his hands crept up into Alex’s hair the sound of a distant car horn through the open kitchen window broke through his dream-filled haze and he realised what he had just done.

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” Michael stuttered out as he pulled away with a gasp, instantly embarrassed at how impulsive he had been. He bit his bottom lip as his eyes stayed trained on Alex’s chest, not daring to lift them any higher. In one tiny moment of weakness he had broken their agreement and he wanted to kick himself for how stupid that had been.

It had been decided that they would just be friends. No drama, no fighting and definitely no sex. The relationship between them would be strictly supportive and platonic and as much as Michael had longed for them to be something, he had agreed for the sake of keeping any kind of connection with Alex. And turns out, he couldn’t even give him that.

If he had looked up he would have seen the surprise on Alex’s face. Surprise that Michael had kissed him - sure - but more the surprise that Michael had pulled away so abruptly. And far too soon for that matter.

Before Alex could talk himself out of it, he took Michael’s face in his hands and kissed him right back. His heart fluttered as Michael instantly pulled him closer, softer this time, as if they both knew in that moment that there was no rush.

Michael’s entire body tingled, heat filling his chest as Alex lips parted with a tiny breath. He was hardly aware of what his own hands were doing, so desperate to never let go, his knees almost giving out as the rest of the world fell away, leaving them in their intimate, almost forbidden, moment.

As his fingers ran through the soft strands of the freshly dyed hair, Michael was reminded of every other time they had performed this same action, how natural this felt, how safe, like coming home.

“I would have let you dye my hair weeks ago if I’d known that’s all it would take.” Alex sighed as they parted, still only inches from Michael’s face, not daring to move any further lest the spell be broken. He hadn’t seen the day going this way when Michael had turned up on his doorstep with his mischievous grin but he wasn’t about to complain.

Michael gave a small huff of laughter at the unexpected comment, his hands itching to pull Alex closer. He had been wanting to do that for a long time, but he’d been good. He’d stuck to their agreement and given Alex the space to move on, no matter how many times he’d wanted to rebuild that abandoned bridge between them. But it seems the long awaited move had now finally been made and he didn’t have to hold back anymore.  

Because here Alex was, black hair, dark eyeliner, standing in front of him with that nervous post-kiss smile that Michael had missed for far too long and now he never wanted to let this moment go.

It seems today had definitely been third time lucky.

Very lucky indeed.

Thank you for reading 💜✨

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