#it might be a text mistake but either way i think marina will end up as the antagonist somehow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

probably-writing-x · 4 years

Text

Absence.

Guzmán x Reader

Request from @oldfashiondisturb : Hi dear! A new request if you like it! Reader is Polo sister. She was in an other country during the time of all the Marina/Polo case. Just before she leaves to this other country, something happened between her and Guzman, but she never called him, or reached him in any way. She comes back after the death of Polo. She hears about everything and all the stuff Guzman and Samuel did to him, and she is kind of pissed so she confronts them! But, all the feelings they have for each others come back?

Requests are open🤍

——————

You’d never been in such a hurry as you were whilst you waited for the plane to land, to get through security and get out of that airport to your taxi. Your heart was beating at an ungodly pace as you were in utter fear of what you’d be left with when you got back to the place you’d abandoned over a year ago. Everything felt like a ghost town, a place you’d once known so well and yet could hardly feel any connection to anymore. So much had changed.

You’d left last year after your disagreements with your Mums got far too much for you. It was relentless, constantly questioning why their daughter didn’t excel in the way that their son did. Polo always managed to just do well. He had decent grades, a beautiful girlfriend, a positive future. You’d been the daughter that wasn’t really sure of her place in the world and who didn’t want to wait around to find out. When the opportunity to move to America came, you grabbed it with open arms. That had been at the start of last school year. Now, as you returned, it was to the end of the school year - what would have been graduation - with the heavy news that your brother had been killed.

“Thank you, here is fine,” You confirm as the taxi pulls up in front of the cemetery.

You’d made it back just in time for the gathering and dreaded what you’d be met with when you got there.

It was a pure sea of black, solemn settings that instantly made the weight on your chest feel ten times heavier. All of the people you’d once called classmates were stood around together as they respected the life of your brother. One of them had done this to him. You knew it couldn’t have been as they’d expected - a suicide. It was one of them.

“Darling,” It’s your Mum that calls you, both of them stepping forward, “It’s good to see you again.”

You give both of them an awkward hug, “You too. Excuse me.”

Despite everything that had happened, you’d kick yourself for letting that change anything between you and them. They’d abandoned you long ago and this wouldn’t be the time where that stopped.

You pass some more familiar faces who all give you looks somewhere between shock and sorrow until you finally reach the headstone you’d been waiting for. It’s an instinct when you crouch down in front and rest your hand on the warming stone.

“Hey buddy,” You start, voice shakier than you’d have hoped, “I know I haven’t been around, and I know I should’ve been.”

You take in a deep breath, pursing your lips in the hopes that it would stop the tears.

“But I’m not going to give up on finding who did this to you. You’ll always be my brother Polo. Always. Okay? And I’ll make you proud, I’ll go and change the world like you always said I would. But I need you to do something for me. I need you to save a spot up there for me, got it?”

You’re stopped as a hand settles on your shoulder and you glance up to see Guzmán now beside you.

“Hey, (Y/n),” He smiles gently, his eyes dipping as he gives as much empathy into his expression as possible.

You stand up and brush yourself off, “Hi.”

Before you can say anything more, his arms wrap around you tightly. It’s somewhere between a hug that you both need to grieve and a hug of ‘damn I’m glad to see you again’.

“Guzmán, do you know anything?” You pull away from him, “About what happened, what caused this?”

He glances around and shakes his head, “Not here. We can talk about this later.”

It gives you a slight bit of comfort. He did know something, of course he did. And the hope of getting closer to who did this to your brother gives you the slightest bit of hope now.

- - - - - -

As you’d been waiting for, Guzmán meets you afterwards and the two of you drive to the docks and sit atop the hood of the car - as you had done many times before. Before you left for America, you’d found yourself growing closer and closer to Guzmán. He’d been there for you through a lot and made it possible for you to tell him things that you didn’t tell anyone else - not even Polo. If you’d have stayed for any longer, you’d have fallen in love with that boy.

“So, what do you know, Guzmán?”

You weren’t waiting any longer than you had to.

He takes in a deep breath and shifts a little, “Polo changed after you left (Y/n), he wasn’t the boy you thought he was.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He-“ He stops himself, “He killed Marina.”

The words carry more weight than anything you’d ever felt. Your brother had killed his sister? You hadn’t come home when you heard about Marina, even if you knew you should’ve done. In fact, you hadn’t spoken to him since you’d first gone. Again, you knew you should’ve done.

“I didn’t want to believe it at first either but he was like a completely different person,” Guzmán continues, “And he killed her because he was terrified of losing Carla. It was a long story and I don’t think I even understand it fully but he killed her.”

“Stop saying it,” You say abruptly, “How the fuck does that help me find out who killed him?”

“(Y/n), your brother wasn’t an angel,” Guzmán inputs, “He hurt a lot of people and that meant that people wanted revenge. I needed to hear him say it, I needed to know that he was responsible for my sister being killed.”

“What did you do, Guzmán?” The words feel like ice to your tongue.

His breath is shakier now, “Me and Samuel... we... I got him to my house and did everything I could to get him to confess... when he did, I saw red. I wouldn’t have stopped if Samu didn’t force me to. I didn’t kill your brother (Y/n), but in that moment, I easily could’ve.”

You jump down from the hood of the car and stand firmly on the ground with trembling legs, “What the fuck?”

“(Y/n)...”

“Don’t!” You snap, “You should’ve told me, I could’ve done something, I could’ve been there for him. Instead, you beat Polo until he was black and blue and then threw him to the wolves so somebody else could finish the fucking job.”

“It wasn’t like that (Y/n)... things changed and I...”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. You might have not been the one that stabbed him with that bottleneck, but you’re sure as hell not innocent.”

With that, you’re storming away from him as though you have any idea of where you’d go. You wrap your arms around yourself and become engulfed by a flood of tears that sting when they’re not swept away by Guzman’s caring touch. There were a million thoughts that that conversation had just caused for you and you couldn’t process them all at once. Your brother - a murderer? The thought felt physically impossible. And one of his best friends had held him hostage until he’d confessed. So much had changed in the past few years, it made you regret ever coming back. It made you wish you’d kept that image of your brother that you’d always held. That innocent, welcoming boy that you’d grown up with every step of the way.

- - - - - -

You find yourself circling back to the cemetery after your experience with Guzmán and sit at the side of the gravestone until you find any words suitable enough.

“What happened, Polito?” You mutter, “Fuck, you should’ve called me or texted or something, I could’ve been here for you, I could’ve done something to sto- Who am I kidding? I’m the one that left you. Would it have made any difference? If I’d have been here?”

You swallow the lump in your throat as you settle down the flower that you’d been holding in your hands.

“I need to believe you were a good man, Polo. I have to. Because the thought of you as anything less-“ You stop yourself as a bout of tears pokes through once again, “Please tell me you didn’t deserve this, please.”

You’re interrupted again as the sound of an engine cutting out comes from behind you. You don’t have to turn around to know who it is. As Guzmán makes his way over to you and stays a safe enough distance away.

“I forgave him you know,” Guzmán says calmly, “It was the last thing I said to him, that anyone said to him, I told him that I’d forgiven him.”

You sit up a little, hearing words that feel like they have more of a meaning than anything you’d heard all day.

“Your brother wasn’t a murderer, he just killed someone. It wasn’t in his blood, it wasn’t buried deep inside of him, it was a mistake. And it took me too long to figure it out but I did eventually.”

“Is that supposed to make things better?”

“I didn’t kill your brother. And what happened to him was a mistake, if you want the full story I’ll give it to you. But I’ll be here for you (Y/n) - I know what it’s like to lose a sibling.”

“I should’ve come home. When Marina died, I should’ve come back.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Guzmán steps forward a little, “I was seconds away from calling you and pleading with you to come back just so I’d have someone that could hug me and tell me I’d be okay.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, “I’m so sorry, Guz.”

He shakes his head, “It’s never been your fault.”

You turn and properly look at him, “But look. My brother has died and you’re right here, staying with me even after I’ve practically yelled in your face. Guzmán I don’t deserve that. I deserve to feel alone like you did, I deserve to carry the guilt of knowing that Marina died and I could’ve been there to stop it, that I could’ve kept Polo alive and-“

“(Y/n) stop,” He snaps, “Start going down that spiral and you’ll never come back, believe me.”

Instantly, you find yourself standing up and rushing to wrap your arms around him as tightly as your weakened frame can muster.

“Thank you for being there for him Guzmán.”

He stumbles slightly as your sudden actions surprise him before he hugs you back with strong arms folding around your entire torso.

“I should’ve told you more, I should’ve told you what was happening here, I know. But I never stopped wanting you to go and live the life that you deserved. And I knew you deserved better than watching your whole like back home come crashing down.”

You pull away from him and sniff, “I shouldn’t have left.”

“Don’t say that. You’ve become someone that you wanted to be and I know Polo would be so proud of you for that. I know I am.”

In those eyes, it’s like you’re seeing a reflection of your own. Both of you had been knocked down, torn to shreds by everything that the world had thrown at you. You’d been picked up and dropped again and again even in just the past few hours. And you’d both been through more than you should’ve been. But there’s a comfort in the fact that you had each other. Another broken soul that would piece together with yours to somehow fix into one whole one - just about. It could stay that way until both of you found those pieces to make yourself up again, or until you found them for each other.

But he was proud of you and that was enough for you to trust that you weren’t a bad person.

“I don’t have anybody left Guzmán,” You admit, glancing over at Polos name written across the marble.

“No,” He reaches out a hand and locks it with yours, “You’ll never not have anybody. Because there isn’t a day that goes by where I wouldn’t have waited for you, and there won’t be any day after today where I won’t prove to you that you’re loved. You’re not alone (Y/n) and you never will be.”

You squeeze his hand and rest your head on his shoulder as the two of you trail your eyes to the headstone. You take in deep, shaky breaths and feel yourself moulding into the boy beside you. And in that moment, he’s right. You’d never been alone.

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savethelastdan · 4 years

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Any more of that sweet sweet Good Morning Call content?

Jane on Ao3 requested "When nao and uehara break up she decides to be with daichi”:

Like most things that have happened since high school, Nao did not plan the aftermath of breaking up with Uehara.

Her intentions were obvious. Either she'd become Uehara's ideal girl (no, woman), mature and self-confident and totally fine with centering her entire existence around Uehara's often unspoken feelings, which she would also magically be able to understand without any communication necessary; or he would realize how much he loved having her there to make him lunch and beg him to tutor her in math and awkwardly kiss goodnight in the space between their apartments.

Instead, what happens is that twenty times a day, Nao checks their messages in her phone, and there's nothing new waiting for her. When she waits outside his apartment in her patented disguise, he doesn't even look in her direction when he passes by.

It hurts even worse, because Nao knows Uehara doesn't even want Saeko. It means he'd have no one, rather than have her.

One night, she's walking home in the rain and going through all the ways that she's ruined it — why couldn't you just put up with it, why did you have to be selfish, why haven't you gone to beg on your hands and knees for his forgiveness — when a hand grabs her shoulder.

"Yoshikawa Nao, what are you doing out here? You'll catch a cold."

She turns, blinking away raindrops (not tears, she's definitely not crying, nope) that have gathered on her eyelashes. Daichi looks down at her, and even though he's wearing a hooded team sweatshirt instead of a jacket and she's carrying an armful of textbooks instead of a collapsing cake, it feels just like the time before.

She throws herself into Daichi's arms, sobbing. And, just like before, he wastes no time in holding her tight.

—

"How are things with Nanase?" She asks, snuggling deeper into the blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

From where he's hanging Nao's textbooks over his drying rack, Daichi gives her a smile (the one he wears just for you, Mitsuishi mutters under his breath and Nao pretends she didn't hear).

"Awkward, honestly. We're trying to stay friends, but that's hard to do when you already know the other person's feelings."

Nao bites her lip, remembering against her will the days after she'd realized Daichi saw her as a woman. The shift had been startling; she'd panicked, pulled away from him, only accepting his comfort when Uehara let her down.

And now she was reliving the same experience with Natsume; except this time, things with Uehara were even more of a mess.

"I'm sorry, Dai-chan."

"It's alright." He smiles again, and despite her guilt it does its job—making Nao feel warm and safe, like being with Daichi always has. From the days he would help her write her letters to Santa, to pushing her on the swings, to teaching her to put her face in the water during swim class even though she was scared, Daichi has always made her feel safe.

"Nao." He comes over to sit beside her. For the first time, Nao registers the cup of tea on the table in front of her, when he gently pushes it closer. "I'm sorry for not reaching out to you more last year."

"Ah! Please don't apologize!" She laughs, despite the growing ache in her head. Perhaps he was right, and she's getting ill. "You must have been so busy, right after graduation…And we hang out all the time now, so it's okay!"

Daichi nods slowly, waiting for her to take a sip, before drinking out of a matching mug. After a moment, he speaks again. "I think I needed that time for myself, to be honest. When I confessed to you, I thought that things would remain the same, no matter what your answer was. That I could be by your side in the same way that I'd always been. But it was strange, wasn't it?" His tone holds no bitterness. "When I went to university, it was a good time to find out who Shinozaki Daichi was, just on his own. Without centering it all on what he meant to someone else."

Tea warming her tongue, Nao nods slowly in understanding.

"Because of that year, it was possible for me to be the best friend that I could to you, when we saw each other again. Maybe you need that time, to be that person for Uehara."

Nao glances at his face, out of the corner of her eye. He's not smiling when he says it, making it obvious what he's thinking. Daichi's never liked Uehara, beyond just the typical jealousy; and now, almost two years on with nothing to show for it, all of the defenses that Nao has spent her time crafting feel painfully hollow.

But she knows he's trying to encourage her happiness. She knows she wants to be brave.

Clinking their mugs together, she says with as much cheerfulness as she can muster in this moment, "You are so wise, Dai-chan."

He laughs and ruffles her hair, and Nao tells herself the warm feeling in her stomach is just tea and nothing else.

—

One thing Nao's realized about her relationship with Uehara is just how much time she has on her hands, now that things are over between them.

She gets a new job at a coffee shop to avoid Natsume (and his constant questions about whether Uehara has texted her yet), but it barely helps to fill the hours she has left. With what seems like endless empty weekends yawning before her, she pencils in each of Daichi's games on her calendar. Nao might not understand sports too much, but she has a competitive spirit and can cheer with the best of them.

Even though it's a little uncomfortable to have Nanase sulking a few rows down, she has a good time; the games are fast-paced and exciting. Daichi practically beams when he notices her there, even after it becomes routine.

It feels good, to be looked at like that.

Nao starts to bring him treats from work, as rewards for all of his hard work. They're walking back to the parking lot, Daichi halfway through a box of chocolate covered madeleines, when she realizes that she has an exam on Monday and starts panicking.

Daichi smiles that smile again. "Want some help studying? I took it last semester, it was a cinch."

She smiles (Your knight in shining armor, Marina teases, and Nao shushes her loudly) and ignores the pounding of her heart.

—

"Am I a bad person?" Nao says, before shaking the magic eight ball aggressively. From the couch behind her where she's painting her nails, Ota looks up with a frown.

"Nao, don't think that! You're a great friend."

Nao ignores her, not wanting to explain that the question was originally a lot more detailed in her head (am I a bad person for inviting Dai-chan's team to dinner and taking the chair next to his, and even though I felt bad when I saw Nanase's face I still didn't move?).

My sources say no.

Taking a deep breath, she shakes the toy vigorously. "Will I pass finals?" (Will I pass finals even though while I was studying with Daichi all I could think about was the way he chews on the end of the pencil, and how he's always done that but I never seemed to notice before, and that just made me wonder what else I haven't noticed?)

Most likely.

"That's good, Nao!" Ota cheers, leaning over to see the result. Nao smiles weakly and mumbles, "One more turn…was dating Uehara a mistake?"

Ota goes quiet. Nao doesn't want to turn to look at her face, instead flipping the magic eight ball over. (Was dating Uehara a mistake, because it means I wasted years on someone who wanted me to read their mind, instead of finding someone who was brave enough to tell me what was in their heart? Or was it good because at least I know I tried, so no one can ever say that's why it didn't work between us?)

Better not tell you now.

—

Nao ducks behind the pillar, breathing hard. She pulls the hat on either side of her head down harder, resisting the urge to scream.

Uehara (who won't look at her, talk to her, text her) repeats himself, fist tight against Daichi's collar. "I said, are you dating Yoshikawa?"

Daichi (who walks her home after work, held her when she cried over failing her math exam, took her to a greenhouse and bought her an adorable little cactus just last weekend) stands firm, back against a pillar that's twenty feet away from the one Nao's using to hide. "We're friends, not that it's any of your business."

Uehara says something else, but Nao can't hear him; her heart's pounding so hard, it's painful.

Every muscle in her body is screaming to go over there—but to do what? Push Uehara away? Scream at him for daring to accost the men in her life for being there when he wouldn't? Defend Daichi, who Uehara's always looked at with such disdain, as though Daichi hasn't spent the better part of his life making sure Nao was happy?

Friends. Friends.

It feels wrong to hear Daichi say that, and Nao's rooted to the spot in terror of what that has to mean.

—

"What?"

Scrambling back from the couch, Daichi laughs. It's the laugh he always uses to hide his nerves (that time he broke the potted plant when we were seven and his mom asked what happened, when he gave me a Valentine card for the first time, when he had to give a speech in his history class and he couldn't remember his opening line).

Nao stares back, unfazed. "I said that I like you, Dai-chan."

He stammers, face turning pink. "You're—you don't mean that."

"Yes I do." She recites it, everything she planned in her bathroom mirror last night as she went through the rebuttals he might give. "It's not because I'm lonely without Uehara, or because I'm scared of being alone, or because I like hanging out with you and I've confused that with being in love."

Daichi's hands fold and unfold. He's looking at her like he always does (like Nao's the moon and he dreads the moment when she'll disappear to let morning take her place) and when he speaks, it's not at all what she expected him to say.

“Did you know Uehara's the only person I've ever hit in anger?"

She blinks once, twice. "Huh?"

He chuckles in embarrassment, one hand sliding against the back of his neck. "I just couldn't stand—knowing that you loved him so much, that you were so brave for him, and he wouldn't be that for you—"

Nao's heart shudders. There's probably something wrong, that even her love confession has been usurped by her ex, but this feels like the kind of thing that he needs to say.

So she waits.

"I thought that if he could just—if he would love you, the way that I would have loved you, then I could deal with it," Daichi blurts; his hand tears through his hair to turn it into a mess. "I could be your friend and be there for you and be happy for you. But Nao, seeing you unhappy and heartbroken and trying so hard, it absolutely breaks me."

Tears fill her eyes. Daichi moves forward on reflex, moving to wipe them away with his thumbs as he cups her face.

"Nao," he breathes. "You deserve the world. You deserve so much."

I don't want the world, she thinks, curling both hands in his sweater. I don't need romantic platitudes or promises of forever or the dream boyfriend. I want to feel safe. "Dai-chan. You said that I needed space. That might change things, and it did. But not for me and Uehara. Dai-chan, please, I love—"

He presses her close.

Nao's lips meet his. And it's not the first time they've ever kissed, but it’s the first time that she feels it's right.

#daichi x nao #yoshikawa nao #shinozaki daichi #good morning call #j drama #fanfic #fanfic rec

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 5 years

Text

Friends can break your heart too pt. 2

Warnings: angst, swearing (enjoy!)

Word count: ~ 3.6k+

Part 1

Where was my fault in all this? All I did is love him with all my heart, but it went to waste. A part of me expected him to run after me the very instant I turned the first corner, slowing down my steps to give him a chance to catch up if he needed it.

Once I realized he wasn't coming, I felt swelling rage push tears even faster to fill my eyes. My vision blurred and chest heaved with the undeniable pressure building up so quickly I'm terrified it would burst. It's funny how people call it a broken heart, but I hurt all over. My brain is in shambles and my body aches like I've been hit by a train and the darkness growing inside is becoming too much to bear.

I remember calling an Uber, praying I'll keep my breakdown in, just a while longer...just until I'm behind closed doors and people with phones and annoying habits of filming everything they see can't get to me.

The last thing I need right now is someone posting a video of me that would go viral. I don't want to give him the satisfaction. I don't want him to see me cry.

Finally alone and inside my home, I find myself unable to shed a tear making it much worse. If you can't release the pain inside, the pain destroys you. It's one of my worst qualities, having few rare moments of release and bottling up everything else until I explode and take everything out in my vicinity.

Deciding not to dwell on it, I grab a bucket of ice cream from the fridge, DAIRY one and sit on my couch in silence and darkness, just getting that lactose in and smiling like a maniac. I've been sick and tired of their newfound dairy free diet and doing it as well to serve as a support system. I guess somewhere deep inside my tired, still firing neurons, eating a tub of dairy and sugar seems like vengeance of sorts.

This is how far I've fallen.

My phone keeps ringing, messages from James and Ethan coming through as I try my best to ignore them and stuff my face.

„Why are you not with them?! I'm losing my fucking shit here! Who is that girl frolicking with Gray and why aren't you answering?!“ James is freaking out, probably watching the awards on TV, worrying, and I'm not sure if it's justified or not.

I'm okay, aren't I? No one deals with these things normally, right?

„Y/N, I'm so sorry. I wish you stayed with me because I'm so bored. Call me back and let me know if you're okay? A text at least?“ Ethan called too and I know I bailed on him. I know he's basically the third wheel since Marina didn't come with him and Grayson's probably wrapped around that woman the entire time.

My dress is constricting my airways, shoes already kicked off my feet and I'm sure my make up is still spotless. I look like I walked out of a Disney movie and Grayson barely noticed me at all. I know I'm not usually the most good looking person out there. I'm aware that most people tend to completely overlook me, not notice I'm even around. I'm the girl no one sees, I don't light up the room when I walk in and people don't stand up to talk to me or go out of their way to make me feel wanted.

No one ever did that for me, but Ethan and Grayson did.

Maybe that's why I fell for him so hard? I craved the attention he gave me? I needed to feel wanted and like I mattered? Because he made me feel like that.

He did.

I never felt invisible around either of them.

I mattered.

Until I didn't.

„Step away from the ice cream!“ Ethan shouts and I snap my head up and to the right where I heard his voice come from, my heart pounding frantically and my mouth opening to let out a small shriek in fear.

„Why are you in my house?!“ I shout back, sitting properly and looking to my phone for the time.

„The awards are over.“ Ethan says in a 'duh' tone and I furrow my brows, rubbing my right temple when I see my ice cream all but melted. I must have dozed off in the inferno of my 'Reasons why I'm not good enough' special held in Grayson's honor.

„Oh.“ I mutter, hearing his footsteps approaching fast. He takes the ice cream from my hands, leaving it on the table in front of me while I stare blankly at my manicured nails and a golden butterfly ring on my right middle finger Ethan bought for my last birthday.

„Wanna talk about it, Princess?“ Ethan asks softly, siting beside me, his right arm pressed against my left one. It's a small couch and my dress is taking up the most of it.

„'Bout what?“ I look to him and swallow thickly, hoping my facade holds up.

„You being in love with my brother and him being undeserving of that.“ Ethan states and I cough violently, choking on my own spit.

„W-what?!“ My voice is high-pitched and my mouth is open like a fish gasping for air. I've believed my feelings were mine alone, hidden from the world and if they weren't...If Ethan knew of all people, did Grayson know?

Does he know?

„Oh, c'mon! It's not like you're being slick with all the starin' you do. I mean, I literally measured the time once I realized you do that and the longest has been ten minutes and twenty three seconds. You look at him like he walks on water!“ Ethan exclaims and I find my mind change speed and the panic overwhelming me like there's ice swimming inside my veins.

„I – uh, you're wrong.“ I try to rectify my past mistakes now, but it's in vain.

Ethan knows.

He knows.

„Am I? You're never speechless unless he's complimenting you. You have a permanent smile around him and I swear you turn into actual sunshine in his proximity. It's like you want to give him all the warmth and love and support this world has to offer. You also gravitate toward him like he's your moon. When he moves, you move. If you can be close to him, you are. Don't even get me started on the way you giggle at his stupid dad jokes or your encouragement of his nutcracker and plant obsession. I know you. You love him and...I'm sorry that you do.“ Ethan ends his rant by putting a hand over mine, making the speed chase inside my head stop and it's as if I'm crashing through the windshield with that gesture. Ethan putting a hand on mine like that meant something else. He's not a touchy feely guy, but he's here and he's holding my hand and it can only mean one thing.

He knows Gray doesn't feel the same way I do.

„So, he – uh, really doesn't love me then. Does he?“ My voice cracks, but I'm still too stubborn to cry. I'm strong, I don't cry for men.

„I can't say anything for sure because we never spoke about you in that way, but he's with Sara now and I don't know why he never mentioned her to you. I was under the impression he did.“ Ethan runs his thumb across my knuckles and I remember how Grayson did that before.

He'd always take my hand in his, no matter where we are and just hold it for hours. He'd run his thumb over each of my knuckles and intertwine our fingers, bringing my hand to his lips to kiss and looking back at him doing that on daily bases doesn't make me feel so insane for thinking he might have loved me too.

„He never said a thing about her. Not even hinted they met. And I really...I really thought he'd be here tonight, you know? Like, he'd come to at least apologize and bring me my favorite milkshake as a peace offering as we once promised to do whenever we fought. But he didn't and I hate that I'm a wreck about it all.“ I feel myself slipping down the emotional swirl-hole again, wondering how long will it take me to claw my way back again.

He didn't even bring the fucking milkshake.

Back when we first had a fight after becoming friends, Grayson bought me my favorite milkshake every day for a week and stood in front of my door until dark, leaving the shake whenever he left. And I'd drink it and leave the cup outside for him to find. I watched him smirk every time he found it empty through the peephole, realizing right then and there I wasn't really angry with him anymore, I just wanted to see that self-satisfied smile on his face whenever he saw I drank the milkshake. So, we made a pact. Whenever we fought in any way, the one who messed up will bring a milkshake the other one favors and you have to accept it and talk.

Guess he didn't find this ordeal milkshake worthy.

„I'm sorry to do this to you, but you have to face this. Grayson is – well, he's basically fucking Sara right now instead of being here and comforting you. He's not into you like that. Not as far as I know and I think he'd tell me, Y/N. I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm just trying to help you move on. Realize he's not all that and find a guy who treats you like a princess you are. Cause you fucking look like one even without wearing that dress.“ Ethan's words surprise me; shock me even. His breath seemed to stutter in his lungs before he let it go, the tension draining from his body. His breathing returned to normal and his lips parted, opening his mouth as if he could face the problem.

„Yeah. I did. I did love you for some time...it's how I know you're in love with Grayson. I watched you while you watched him and once I knew I had no way of winning you over, I did the only thing I could; I moved on. It was hard and messy and I still get in that head-space, but I never acted upon any of it. This is why I'm advising you to the same. Just, let him go.“ Ethan takes a deep breath, patiently awaiting for me to say anything.

I saw something flicker in his eyes that I never wanted to die. It's selfish, but right now, I crave his affection; the same he kept hidden from me for so long. I can't, but I want to. I want to kiss him and let whatever is left of my soul burn in hell. I find myself leaning forward, Ethan's eyes moving from my eyes to my lips and remaining there, just lingering.

„Such a bad idea.“ He says quietly and I can't help but agree with him. It's probably the worst idea I've ever had, but Grayson's fucking some other girl and I'm just trying to get through the night. I'm just trying to piece myself together.

But then I remember why I can't do this.

If Grayson ever did this to me, I'd be a hollow shell of a girl, unable to find someone that can give me the love I know I deserve. I can't ruin Ethan like that. I can't drag him in a mess that he just barely escaped from. He has Marina now and I'll be damned if I ruin it.

„I really want to kiss you right now. I do.“ I lick my lips and continue.

„But Marina...she's good for you and I'm not sure what I feel or what tomorrow will bring. It's not fair to you. I should know, not guess...especially when it’s you. You, one of my favorite people in this whole universe and any alternative ones that exist.“ I place my forehead on his lips, leaning on them for their warmth and keeping him quiet for a moment longer all the while ignoring how his hands on my waist feel inviting.

I'm just looking for a physical comfort, a rebound.

I can't make him one.

I won't.

„This is exactly what I'm saying. You're too good for him. For either of us.“ Ethan whispers against my forehead, pulling me into his chest and holding me.

And I hate myself for thinking about how Grayson never just holds me against him, but crushes me with his bear hugs until I'm fighting for air. He melts into me and always stands up just to make sure he can twirl us before collapsing on the floor, still holding me tightly enough to feel the beat of his heart against his rib cage.

It’s strange, frightening even, how you can go from someone being a complete stranger, to then being completely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to live without them, because you sure as hell couldn’t imagine being without them now. I know I'm still young, and most people would consider me to be foolish and naive, but it’s true when I say that I love him more than I could ever love myself. He’s my best friend and, as cheesy as it sounds, he’s my anchor. My one stability in this world filled with chaos. Grayson's always been my anchor and knowing I have to leave that is a big part of why tears slip down my cheeks as Ethan moves me to my bed, covers my body with a blanket, unaware I'm still awake.

I hear the light switch go off and feel an arm wrap around me, face burying in my hair and breath giving me goosebumps. I hear Ethan's phone go off, muffled voice coming from the speaker, but neither of us move to get it.

Whatever it is, it can wait till the morning.

„Hey, bro! I'm going to grab a milkshake and stay at Y/N's tonight. Sara and I had a fight about...me being too taken with Y/N to perform if you get what I mean. Ugh, why did I just tell you this?! Either way, don't worry about me. I'll be home around noon maybe. You better fucking delete this voicemail or I swear I'll post that photo of your pineapple tattoo! Don't test me, bitchass!“

That was a mistake.

The next thing I know, I'm being awaken to a hushed fight between Ethan and Grayson, still in my dress and a little dazed.

„You didn't tell me!“ „I have nothing to tell!“ „You're unbelievable!“ They keep exchanging words, but I know I'm not up for Grayson's shit right now.

„What is happening?“ I say through gritted teeth, both of them turning to face me.

„Just congratulating you on your relationship. Didn't expect to find out because I found you in bed together. Definitely didn't see it coming.“ Grayson's eyes pierce through me, looking to hurt me more, demanding explanations that didn't exist.

„We just fell asleep, you idiot. Now get out. Both of you. I need some time alone and away from you.“ I gesture vaguely toward them, pointing at Grayson after. „Mainly you, but since you're a package deal. Leave me alone!“

„I'm not leaving.“ Grayson steps forward, shoving a milkshake in my face and I'm forced to fight a smile from showing on my face. I can't just let it go. I can't just ignore our pact.

So, I turn to Ethan.

„E. please?“ He just nods knowingly, understanding exactly what I mean.

I need closure.

I sit on my bed, folding my hands in my lap and not taking the milkshake.

„You really not going to take this? It's banana! Your favorite!“ Grayson exclaims, plopping on the bed, dipping the mattress and leaning me to his side a little.

„Not in the mood. Say what you need to say and go.“ I say firmly, looking ahead and he sighs, moving so he's on his knees and in front of me, in my line of sight.

„I forgot to tell you and yes, I'm an ass for ditching you. You ARE more important, but she was already there and I couldn't leave her either. Thought you'd be okay with staying and being Ethan's date. I just...I have no idea why I forgot to let you know about it all.“ There's a pause in his speech, one he uses to look me over again and I keep my eyes on his, refusing to look away. He won't win. Not now.

„You look like a dream. So unreal and unearthly and I'm sorry it wasn't seen.“

„I spent the past two months working overtime. Every day. I used up all my savings. I...I did so much just to get into this dress and to be there with you and I just...it meant nothing to you when it meant everything to me. You were so careless tonight, Gray. I didn't even recognize you.“ My words pack a powerful punch, I can tell by the way that twinkle in his eye goes out and anguish takes over. Shame takes over his mind and guilt takes over his heart.

„All that so I could tell you I'm so fucking in love with you.“ I finally say those words, just release them into the world like they didn't weigh me down for so long.

His eyes snap back to me, wide and his eyebrows raise. His breathing almost halting in the moment.

„I am as much in love with you today as I ever was, perhaps even more so, but I'm tired...Tired of watching you choose the wrong girl every time while I'm here all the while, just waiting for you to take one look and realize that I'm the one for you. Because I am. But you lost me too. You've lost all we could have been because you destroyed that innocent part of me that yearned for you, all of you. You've ruined me, so deal with the wreckage you left in your wake. You're the perfect example why hurricanes are named after people. You're a hurricane, Grayson and I need to get away from this storm before it swallows me whole.“ I'm aware my words sound forced and pained, fully aware he's trying to get a word in as well but my monologue stops him because there is so much I want to tell him and so little time as I've made my decision.

I need to let him go. Both of them. At least for a while.

„Don't I get a say in it?“ He questions and I chuckle dryly.

„You want a say in this? Okay, fine! Do you love me, Grayson?“ My words are rushed and those stubborn tears of mine are preparing to burst forth like a river from a dam.

„Of course I love you, Y/N.“ He places his hands on mine, quickly interlocking our fingers so I can't pull away and I purse my lips.

„I don't mean do you love me. I mean are you in love with me.“

Silence. He doesn’t even blink, seemingly stunned by my inquiry.

„Or even like me? Because if you do, only then do you have any say in this.“ I hate how weak my voice is, how wobbly and each break in it mirrors a break inside. I feel as if my lungs are slowly filling with water, as if there's just less space in them for the air.

Why was it so hard with him? Why does it always have to be so hard? It shouldn't be like this.

Not if it's right.

I stand, startling him enough to let go of my hands and move quickly to avoid him wrapping his arms around me. He moves after me, reaching out to grab my arm, but I slap his hands away.

„Wait, please!“ Grayson croaks out, something inside him turning but not fast enough. He shouldn't have to think about it. He's supposed to know. Love isn't thinking you want someone to hold, but wanting that all the time.

„For what, huh? How many ways are there for you to break my heart tonight? Just...give me enough respect and leave. Let me keep what pride I have left.“ I'm shaking, not only on the outside, but inside as well.

Before I met Grayson my heart was soft, with him it became strong and vibrant, now it is simply broken.

And he listened. He left. He left even though I wanted him to stay and say the words I needed him to say. That he loves me, that he cares. Anything, everything...just not leave when I need him.

I pack my things and wipe away angry tears I am so tired of already. Writing a note for the boys if they come back, texting James, I finally leave my apartment and head back home in a need of a proper rest.

They say people who are meant to be always find their way back to each other. They say friends don't make you hurt. They say life is full of surprises and now I know they, whoever they are, are very wrong.

People who are meant to be together don't always end up together and friends can break your heart too which is actually the biggest surprise of all. Heart break is a funny thing. We all know it's going to happen, yet we're never prepared for it. We underestimate it's power. Why are we never ready for it? Because we're in denial. We believe it won't happen. We believe if we give him our hearts he will not crush it. Hearts shouldn't be crushed. They should be cherished and protected. I wish he would have cherished and protected my heart.

Tags: @xalayx @heeydolan @accalialionheart @fallinginlove-16 @rosegoldquintis @nefelibata-diamond @blackdesires-blog @me-a-hopeless-romantic @wannabeactress @mckeeee-1 @godlydolans @daddygraysonsbitch @killmonger-dolan @emy-is-cooler-than-you @5sausefandom @thatoneperson5000 @the-evolution-of-stupidity @mercy-love18-love @graydolan12 @flowercrowns3438 @trumpettay @skurtdolans @nowheredolan @shadowsndaisies @heartbelongstodolans @gvldenskie

#grayson dolan #grayson dolan x reader #ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #dolan twins #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan angst #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan fic #grayson dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan angst

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banditchika · 6 years

Text

forgive me mother for i have sinned

fandom: bandori

words: 1541

pairing: tsugusayo

ao3 link

She shouldn't be doing this.

She really, really, really shouldn't be doing this, but—

She has to know. Oh, the things Lisa has seen today; she can't go on with the rest of her life without investigating this, because...

Because there's just no way. Hazawa Tsugumi? Rosy-cheeked, wide-eyed, dimpled Hazawa Tsugumi? The school council's darling and all-round cherubic sweetheart?

Lisa can't believe it. There's no way that Hazawa Tsugumi just...

She glances down at the phone and geez, she feels like she just peeped on someone doing—um. Like she saw something horribly inappropriate. Which technically, she has.

Tsugu: hey baby! Tsugu: send nudes? ;>

Lisa peeks again at the screen and gulps. She half expects Sayo to come crashing through the door, brandishing her guitar and howling loudly enough to put a shounen protagonist to shame, but nope—it's just her holding down the studio. Sayo's talking with Marina with the rest of Roselia and paying Lisa— and the fact that she's left most of her private life in the palm of her hand—no mind.

Normally, Lisa would be out there with them. A large part of her still feels like she should be; feels that this is definitely an invasion of privacy, and that the reason why Sayo's left her phone with Lisa is because of trust, and Sayo trusting her? Well, that's solid gold right there.

But this situation is anything but normal. Damn. How did comparing recipes and ingredient ratios turn into this? This has to be a joke, right?

She would have let the phone return to its lockscreen and joined Roselia outside had LINE not pinged just before Lisa could click the power button, and Lisa had learned more about her dear, sweet underclassman, and her seemingly-ever-reliable bandmate's relationship than she ever wanted to know.

... Well, she says that, but now that she's seen it, she doesn't think she'll ever be able to look at either of them the same way until she's sure.

Tsugu: ... sayo-san? :< Tsugu: baby?

It's like a little devil and angel are sitting on her shoulders; Devil Ako (because it's kinda fun to put a face to the warring parts of her conscience, and because Ako would probably appreciate it) tackles the ever-moral Angel Sayo off her perch, and before Lisa can second-guess herself, her fingers are flying across the keyboard.

Hikawa Sayo: Alright. What level of undress are you expecting? Hikawa Sayo: Gravure, topless, or full-frontal nudity?

Lisa hesitates. She's too terrified to scroll up and see if Sayo and Tsugumi really were exchanging—oh man, she can't even think it—really were doing that, but maybe... maybe if she's a little sneaky, she can satisfy her curiosity and delete the messages before Sayo sees them. It's underhanded and dirty and she feels weird and bad drawing this as her moral line, but. Listen. Her curiosity has to be satisfied.

She keys in her last, killer line: the final blow.

Hikawa Sayo: Or perhaps, Tsugumi-san... you want something else today?

Read at 4:20.

Three dots appear beneath Lisa's message, and Lisa's heart plummets to her chest. What has she done. She has to apologize to Afterglow right now, immediately. Like, right this second. She has Himari and Tomoe's phone numbers. She can totally send an apology essay and like, supplicate herself in hopes of mercy.

Oh, oh, oh boy, oh—oh no. Lisa's face is on fire while Tsugumi types. She did not think this through. This was a mistake.

She should have just dropped the phone and pretended she didn't see anything, or 'fessed up at the beginning and not be able to look either Tsugumi or Sayo in the eye. Sayo's going to kill her. She's going to have Lisa stand at one end of the studio and just—just hurl her guitar at Lisa with her usual terrifying, uncanny accuracy, and Lisa's too pretty and too gay to die like this!

Her only consolation is that Sayo probably won’t end her with a bullet. Lisa's defied most lesbian stereotypes but the big U-Haul and being in love with her straight best friend; she's not about to start racking the rest of them up now.

Tsugu: yo woah Tsugu: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

... Wait. Wait a second.

Lisa squints at the phone. Tsugumi doesn't talk like this. At least, Lisa's pretty sure she doesn't. The girl radiates good vibes and puppy energy and—seriously, it's an effort to restrain herself from patting Tsugumi's head whenever they run into each other in the hallways. There's no way someone that sweet and kind and bright types like this. Lisa can practically smell the weed.

Tsugu: ok lmao ill just b really honest with u sayo san Tsugu: this is aoba moca afterglows guitarist Tsugu: were at tsugus cafe rn n she left her phone w us while shes on shift Tsugu: i was just messing around pls dont actually send nudes Tsugu: at least until tsugus here u kno. u do u in private

Moca. Moca. Of course it's Moca.

A sigh shivers out of Lisa. She's saved! No death by guitar from Hikawa Sayo. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe.

Death by teasing from Moca, though; that's a possibility that's growing more concrete by the second now that she's the one holding someone's—that is to say, Lisa's—life in her hands.

Moca's still typing.

Tsugu: if u dont mind me saying tho Tsugu: rlly didnt expect yall 2 have gone so far n stuff Tsugu: i mean hiichan n tomochin play gay chicken all the time so its not like no one in afterglow sends nudes n stuff (dont tell them i said that~ pls~) Tsugu: but tsugus like our baby u kno Tsugu: n also our grandma who we love very much n tell all our problems 2 Tsugu: so uhhhhhhhh Tsugu: wasnt expecting this at all but dam tsugu get it Tsugu: pls dont get mad at her or kill me xoxoxo moca

Moca doesn't type again. Lisa wonders if she's feeling the same trepidation that Lisa did when she waited for "Tsugumi" to respond. Moca kind of actually has feelings, sometimes, so there's a definite possibility that even she is sweating—but also, it's Moca. She might really be ready to face the consequences for her actions (read: guitar duel with Sayo, except they're actually swinging at each other with their instruments) and expects to come out the winner.

Hikawa Sayo: Ummm Moca?? Hikawa Sayo: This is Lisa Tsugu: oh shit lisa san Tsugu: that was u? Hikawa Sayo: Yeah~ hahaha~ Hikawa Sayo: Sayo was showing me something on her phone and then ran out to do something for the band. I was going to put her phone away but then I saw your message and Hikawa Sayo Well... Hikawa Sayo: I won't tell Sayo if you don't tell Tsugumi Tsugu: got it Tsugu: ill eat the evidence lisa san dont worry theyll never have 2 kno Hikawa Sayo: Ahhh!! T-T Hikawa Sayo: I'm so relieved!! Thank you Moca!

Lisa starts to delete her messages. Tsugumi's texts begin to disappear as well. She's really glad that the app shows no records of deleted messages because—whoo, boy.

Tsugu: slurp slurp Tsugu: sorry u had 2 deal w this lisa san Tsugu: see u at work tmrr

Lisa sends, "Yeah see you!!" as Moca's last texts begin to disappear.

With everything cleared, she tosses the phone into the depths of Sayo's school bag and perches on the stage, face buried in her hands. Ugh. Ugghhh. Uggghhhhhhh. This is karma. Karmatic punishment. She's been too nosy and too meddling and this is her punishment.

She's definitely smudging her makeup right now, but after everything that's happened? She deserves it. Consider the lesson learned, because from now on, Imai Lisa is going to be a model citizen. She's not going to bother with other people's business, she'll keep her head down and just focus on bass, and school, and work, and clubs—karma had its kiss out for her this time, but she's not gonna give it another reason to try again.

Lisa peeks through her fingers at the door. While Sayo looks as pleased as she ever gets outside of texting Tsugumi or doling out rare, rare bits of praise whenever they play particularly well, Yukina's got a certain... expression on her face. It's the one she gets when someone's put bitter melon on her plate or told her that no, you can't go to the park, it's the middle of the night!

She wonders what Marina's told them that has made Sayo so pleased and Yukina so... not.

... Okay, fine. Maybe she'll meddle a little more after all.

#bandori #tsugusayo #sayotsugu #aoba moca #imai lisa #peents writes #i. well. dont take this too seriously this was just waaaaay too funny to pass up on writing #it sure was fun 2 do tho LMAO n i hope yall enjoy it too!!

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ronyxfic · 6 years

Text

Educating the Victim - Act VI, Chapter XIV

Pairing: -

Rating: Mature

Warnings/Tags: none for this chapter!

Read it on AO3! - Support us on Patreon!

Educating the Victim Masterpost

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CHAPTER 14: Tailor Made

Azure came back shortly after Marigold called her back. She handed her a box of muffins and sat down. "Alright, so. Let's talk. What's the verdict?"

“We’re doing it,” Rose said. Her eyes were still a little puffy. “I don’t like it... but there’s no way I’ll let this happen without me.”

“She also said you were right,” Marigold added.

Rose glared at her.

"Hah, well, I appreciate the validation. Marigold, listen dear, I refuse to let you go to Italy without sending you with a few bits of... current clothes."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Oh, honey. I'll take you out myself, I can get you a few things fitted."

“I’m taking it that my clothes are fine,” Rose said, “though I wouldn’t mind some direction as to what you think is appropriate.”

"You don't seem as hopeless as Marigold here."

Marigold was blushing deeply. "You'd better take me in your limo."

"That can be arranged. Go talk to Blue. She's on the third floor. The dear came with me at five."

Rose looked between them before fixating Azure.

“Before I go... could I talk to you?” she asked.

Marigold raised an eyebrow. “I’ll go find Blue.”

"Of course. If... anything I said was news, then I assume you must have a few questions," Azure said softly. "Fire at will."

“Well...” Rose swallowed heavily. “I didn’t know you were dating Roxy, let alone... engaged. I always suspected she was cheating on me, but she always just spoke about you as a friend.”

Azure frowned. "She was polyamorous while dating you. She dated me and a lot of other women."

Rose gave a short laugh. “Let’s not unpack this right here, right now,” she said, “though I suspect I may need a drink later. But... anyway. Do you really not know why she disappeared?”

"No idea." Azure's expression turned dark. "We'd had a stable week. She was at work a lot but that was normal. One morning, she wasn't next to me when I woke up."

Rose felt a strange twist in her chest.

“I... if I’d known you were dating, I would have told you,” she said. “I don’t know why she wouldn’t tell you, but she was running from me. Here.” She handed Azure the folder she’d brought.

Azure looked down. She took them, flicking through. "Marigold mentioned this, not in the greatest detail. I understand that you want this case to be brought back to court?"

“Yes. She ran before I could bring her to justice.” Rose grimaced. “On second thoughts, I can definitely see why she wouldn’t tell you. Did she abuse you as well?”

Azure paused. "Roxy was... difficult. I think we both did a lot we regret. I feel equally responsible for whatever she gave out."

“Huh.” Rose didn’t sound convinced. “I take it you never found a blog written by her about how she systematically planned to abuse you and ruin your self esteem and mental health. She... it might be a bit hard to read. She admits to wanting to push me to suicide in there.”

Azure gave a heavy breath. "You'll get to end it. Take her to court. I hope you know that I'll protect you in any way I can."

“I’ll... do my best not to let my emotions get the better of me,” Rose said. “Because... I thought I knew her, but I didn’t know her at all. Maybe she can be reasoned with. I doubt it, but you never know.”

"I understand your concerns. It's good to be level headed. I'm worried Marigold may get too submissive."

Rose gave a chortle. “Up until a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have thought I would ever hear anyone utter that sentence.”

"You don't know these women the way I do. Diamond's bark is worse than her bite."

“Well, she had me suspended and nearly fired, so forgive me if I don’t exactly take your word for it. Though she seems to have mellowed out a lot in the past month or so. Do you... know why?”

"Blue told me a thing or two. I'd ask her if you get the chance. Not my story to tell."

“Well,” Rose said, “I’m about to spend a good amount of time alone with her in Tuscany so I will probably get the chance. Speaking of which, do you have any, uh, tips for dealing with her?”

"Oh? Well. Marigold seems deadly terrified of dealing with her feelings, so she'll try and race time's arrow and march forward. If you remind her that the past exists and deserves acknowledgment... I think you'll find it'll be easier to play with her."

Rose sighed. “I don’t have any interest in playing with her,” she said, “or anyone for that matter, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

"Who knows? Might be a long trip. She's not actually that bad. But yes. Feel free to go home, I'll text you all the details."

“Okay. I have a lot of packing to do.” Rose got up. “Thank you, Azure,” she said, “and... sorry about Roxy. And everything that happened.”

"Me too, for you. I hope we can bring you justice."

“I appreciate it,” Rose said. “Feel free to keep those documents. I have enough copies to last me a lifetime. It may help clear up some things for you as well.”

"Alright. Have a good day and... good luck."

Azure watched Rose leave and then got up to find Marigold and Blue. She found them on the third floor.

“How have you been getting on?”

"The limo is on its way. I've tried to convince Ms Diamond that we don't in fact take it everywhere. She doesn't believe me."

“Well, obviously sometimes we take our private plane. Speaking of which, Marigold, that is yours for as long as you’re in Italy.” Azure smirked. “You ready?”

Marigold's jaw hung before she closed it. "Um, yes, of course. Where?"

“Downstairs. The chauffeur is waiting for us, I assume?” Azure shot Blue a smile.

"No, I mean... Where are we going?" Marigold followed her.

“Oh. My favourite tailor shop. They do such excellent suits there. And if we go now and I pay them enough, they can have it done this afternoon, so we shouldn’t delay.” Azure smiled. “Blue, darling, I’ll see you later.” She gave her fiancee a kiss before tugging Marigold along.

Marigold let herself be taken, trying to keep up with Azure. "All these years and you're still somehow faster than me when you're determined."

“I used to run competitively, you know. And was always very good at ignoring my pain and just getting on with it.” Azure stepped into the elevator. “Though it’s getting harder. There’s a reason I’m letting Blue run most of the company these days.”

"I could imagine." The doors closed. "You're sure I should... go?"

“To Italy? Well, you offered. Are you having second thoughts?”

"I suppose it's all really just hitting me right now." Marigold sighed.

Am I just agreeing because it's what I think Claire would have done?

“If it helps, you’re just about the only person I trust with this. You’re not trained, but you have personal stakes. Marina didn’t, and she’s too eager. In retrospect, it was a mistake sending her.” Azure sighed. “You know Roxy. So does Rose, even though she’s doubting herself a lot. Together, you can figure this out.”

"I'm glad you have faith in us."

“I don’t really have a choice. Or better options, really. No pressure, though.” Azure gave a wry smile and stepped towards the limo, holding the door open for Marigold, then sliding in after her.

Marigold couldn't really think of anything to add to that, so she followed her cue. "Oh! Now this is lovely."

“Isn’t it? Being rich has its perks.” Azure gave her chauffeur instructions and then leaned back. “So, you’re gonna be spending quite a bit of time with Rose, huh. Are you two close at all?”

"It's actually a bit awkward, still," Marigold admitted, looking around. "I don't think she's forgiven me, which is fair."

“You suspended her, huh? I won’t pry as to why, but there’s probably a reason why you haven’t fired her.” Azure’s smile fell. “She’s going to be a bit of a state, so be prepared for that. She didn’t know Roxy and I were dating. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know about any of the others either.”

"It's good that I didn't and that she... wants to do this. I think she's got big stakes in it, too."

“Very much so. I never knew her well but I could feel it. She was struggling to hold it in earlier. Roxy really damaged her, I don’t even need to look at her documents to know that.” Azure looked at Marigold. “She’s still young. You might need to look after her.”

"I'll do my best. I'm not too sure she wants me of all people to look after her."

“Well, we’ll just have to see how it goes,” Azure said.

Aurora made it to school by quarter to eight. Marigold, despite being on the rota, was nowhere to be seen. The basket of muffins lay untouched.

She picked up her phone and dialled. Straight to voicemail. She gave a sigh.

"Marigold! Hey! Had a really nice time last night. Wondering where you are... um. Call me back when you get this."

She hung up and looked around the empty office.

Did something come up regarding the... Roxy thing? I’ll call her again later if she hasn’t shown up.

It made her heart ache, though. She’d been hoping to see Marigold today.

Instead, she went into the staff room for coffee.

The staff room was fairly populated at the hour. Lapis, thick wad of exercise books by her side, and Jasper stood by the coffee machine, drinking hers idly.

Lapis looked at Aurora. "Lost on your way to the office, then?"

Jasper gently knocked into her. "Be nice. How are you, kiddo?"

“I’m okay!” Aurora smiled at her. “It looks like the Principal isn’t in so I figured I’d come here. How are you?”

"Figures." Lapis rolled her eyes. "Yeah, just getting ready before homeroom. I helped Jasper make a PowerPoint. "

Jasper beamed. "I'm taking my class out on a trip to look at local rivers!"

“Oh, that sounds lovely!” Aurora said. “Do you have anything interesting today, Lapis?”

"Just my lower year classes. Not everyone is on study leave, but we're just wrapping up our Shakespeare units for all the key stage three year groups."

“Sounds good,” Aurora said. The kettle boiled. “Anyone want a drink?”

"We've got some. What are you planning to do all day if Diamond isn't here?" Jasper smiled.

“There’s a bunch of stuff that needs doing whether she’s here or not, and if anything, her not being here means I have more to do,” Aurora said. “She might still turn up, though.”

"Hope so. Hope it all doesn't give you too much trouble." Jasper nodded.

Lapis gave her a look. "I'm just more surprised you're so concerned. Aren't we trying to take her down?"

“Oh.” Aurora blushed. “Yeah, that was a thing, wasn’t it? But she’s had a bit of an... experience, at Pride, and she’s actually coming around to the whole thing. And... coming out, as well.”

"Oh man, is that so?" Jasper blinked.

"She did seem a little spacey. I wondered why she didn't yell at us." Lapis crossed her arms. "So... what? We went through all the trouble of forming the crystal gems and we're just going to trust her?"

“I’d... leave it up to Rose, to be honest.” Aurora looked around. “Where is she, anyway?”

"Also missing. Might need to call in a substitute." Jasper said, looking around.

Aurora frowned. “I’ll check the schedule, see what she has on today,” she said. “Anyone else we’re missing?”

"Nah, just them two from the looks of it. I'm sure the kids will report anyone else who mysteriously vanished." Lapis winked.

“Oh, for sure.” Aurora took her tea and sipped on it. “Regarding Marigold... I mean, Principal Diamond,” she corrected herself, blushing. “I wouldn’t really want to do anything just yet. The school year is almost over.”

"That's true. And she hasn't caused trouble since Pride," Jasper remarked.

"As if that's more than the bare minimum." Lapis gave a scoff.

Aurora avoided their gaze. “Well, I should be off,” she said, “nice seeing you.”

"Nice seeing you too. Don't be a stranger." Lapis gave a wave, but whether she was genuine was a mystery.

“And here we are!” Azure pushed open the door to a posh-looking tailor shop. “In you come, Marigold. We don’t have all day.”

Marigold tried her best to pace in, but stopped. Suits were scarcely targeted for women in such a way, but in here there were mannequins, all shaped with hips and curves that filled fabric exquisitely.

Marigold found herself licking her lips. It was borderline sexy.

Azure shot her a look. “Behave yourself, this is a professional environment.”

A young woman came out of a sideroom. “Azure!” she said. “I got your girlfriend’s call. Is this your friend?” She looked Marigold up and down, a smile on her lips.

“It is! Marigold, this is Ruth.”

Marigold swallowed, flustered. "Hello! I'm... amazed by your selection, honestly."

“Oh, that’s always good to hear!” Ruth gave her a bright smile. “So, what are you looking for?”

“Professional attire,” Azure said. “Something that will look good in a court of law, but won’t attract too much attention outside of it.” She turned to Marigold. “How does that sound? Do you have any requests?”

Marigold looked sheepish. "It would be nice if it could be... yellow."

Azure tutted. “Now, now, didn’t you hear me? Something that won’t attract attention.”

Ruth, on the other hand, smiled more broadly. “Not everyone can wear blue every day of their lives, Azure,” she said. “If you’re okay with it, we can go with a dark blazer – black or brown, perhaps, with a yellow patterned lining and yellow accents? With pants to match, how does that sound?”

"I'm happy to try on whatever you think will work. I'm... woefully unaware of how fashion actually works." Marigold swallowed.

Azure snickered. “As if you needed to state that,” she said, grinning at Marigold.

Ruth, on the other hand, was unfazed. “Fashion is subjective,” she said, “and while it’s good to be aware of what goes well with which occasions, you’re entirely free to dress in whichever way you like.”

“A dark outfit with yellow accents sounds great,” Azure said.

“Great!” Ruth beamed. “Let’s have a look at different fabric, and then I’ll measure you.”

Marigold found herself biting her lip as she stopped herself from smiling too wide. "Now this is exciting." She followed Ruth.

Azure tagged along, if only to ensure Marigold didn’t select anything too outrageous.

“A yellow tie, or bow tie might be nice,” she said. “Yellow buttons, possibly.”

“I was thinking of putting a yellow seam,” Ruth said. “Ah! Here we are.”

In front of them was a table with all kinds of different fabric samples, arranged neatly in little booklets. “I’m guessing money isn’t an issue, as usual,” Ruth said.

“Absolutely not. In fact, this is an extreme rush order – you’ll have to have it done by two to allow for any corrections,” Azure said. “Can you do it?”

“I can,” Ruth said. “I’ll send you the invoice later, then. Well, Marigold, seeing anything you like?”

Marigold's eyes flickered, looking at her options. All yellow. All good. "Hmm."

Azure took one fabric sample. “This one is good for the main fabric,” she said. It was rich and black, with very subtle pinstripes. “It’ll look good with anything you put on the inside.” She peeked over Marigold’s shoulder.

Marigold nodded. "Go on, then."

Azure quickly selected four different yellow fabrics: two patterned, two plain. “I’d recommend one of these. Which one’s your favourite?”

"The patterned ones are nice. Oh! I really like that one."

Azure gave her a sly grin. “I thought you might.”

“Is that decided, then?” Ruth said, smiling. “If you’re ready, you can come through so I can take your measurements.”

"Oh! Alright. I was at least aware of this part. I don't need to take anything off, do I?"

“Only your jacket.”

“I will sit down for a while,” Azure said, “you don’t need me for this part.”

"Alright!" Marigold followed Ruth and stripped out of her own old yellow blazer. "I've worn it for years. Feels... unworthy to be in here."

“It is a perfectly good blazer, if a little worn,” Ruth said. “We don’t just serve millionnaires in here.” She took out a measuring tape. “Are you and Azure close, then?”

"Very." Marigold shot Azure a look and then smiled. "I don't really let her treat me often. So this is all... quite an experience."

Ruth started taking the measurements, scribbling down numbers as she did so. “Raise your arms,” she said, reaching around Marigold’s chest. “Thanks. I’ve only worked here for a few years, but Azure is one of our most valued customers... and not just because she’s rich.”

Marigold found herself deeply blushing. Ruth smelt pleasant, and the touch was just gentle enough to drive her wild.

Would I have let myself think these thoughts a month ago?

“Please relax,” Ruth said sweetly as she reached around Marigold’s waist. “We’ll be done very soon. If I’m too far in your personal space, I’m happy to back off.”

"No, this is fine!" Marigold squeaked, biting her lip.

Back in the age of her repression, She figured that this incident would have ignited a hot hour in the bathrooms.

Control yourself!

Ruth smiled at her patiently. “Okay.” She reached around Marigold’s hips.

Azure watched from the sides, a knowing grin on her face as she caught Marigold’s eyes.

Marigold sent her a heated look back but fought the urge to yelp back at her. Soon, she felt Ruth back away and swallowed. "Will that be all?"

“Yes, thank you!” Ruth put away the measuring tape. “I will give Azure a ring when we’re done. You’ll be available to come in later to try it on, won’t you?”

“She most certainly will,” Azure said, holding the door open for Marigold. “Can I interest you in anything else, Marigold?”

"A cold shower."

Azure chuckled. “I can drive us back to the office, there’s showers there. Or maybe home to yours? You do have some packing to do.”

"Mine would be brilliant. I could make us tea before you vanish?"

“Oh, that would be lovely!” Azure beamed at Marigold. “Let’s go, then.”

An hour and half had passed. Still no sign or call back from Marigold. Aurora frowned. Even last time she'd informed her of not coming in far earlier. Marigold wasn't her problem but... the fact that she'd promised to be at school before vanishing filled Aurora with concern.

She dialled again. Voicemail.

"Hey, Mari. Still wondering where you are... if you're ill or not coming in, let me know and I'll... Mark you as absent. I... miss you, I guess. Let me know how things are when you can."

>> Act 6, Chapter 15

#steven universe #su fanfic #su yellow diamond #su blue diamond #bellow diamond #su yellow pearl #su rose quartz #su blue pearl #su human au #educating the victim #etv act 6 #illustrated #animated

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jellybeancookie · 7 years

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My Endless Summer thoughts

Warning: this text includes a lot of thoughts about life and death, and also ES and TCATF spoilers. I apologize for possible mistakes, as English is not my first language.

I understand why right now, everybody is freaking out about possible deaths of Endless Summer crew members. But, to be honest, I’m almost 100% sure that they won’t die or that they will be resurrected after death. I have no doubt that writers in Pixelberry are amazing and if they want to kill somebody, they will. But I don’t think this is the case. This is not what Choices is generally about.

Remember TCATF. We had a literal war with the strongest enemy going on. So many people died, but none of them were members of the main crew. Even Raydan survived, after how wounded we was. Gabriel and Leon are about the only people we lost, and let me tell you - in a war, this is a very lucky outcome. And they still exist in Spirit World. I think that this means that general idea of Choices is not about death. Even talking about death, we have a positive message that makes us feel peaceful about the ones we lost (The Haunting of Braidwood Manor). Choices has a lot of tragic things going on, but, after all, we have one idea what goes through all the books: Choices is about life. With its downfalls, with losses, but also with happy and positive things that make it so beautiful and precious.

We all are attached to the members of Endless Summer crew, and that’s for a reason. We are shown that they are people, just like us, and absolutely all of them have insecurities and things that have changed their lives. Tragedy of their stories is actually hidden in their past, in things that happen to common people in real life. Betrayal, loss, having nobody to understand you. These parts of the crew’s stories are what the Catalyst Idols show us. I absolutely do not think that lives of our friends will depend on whether we bought the idols - those might help us find the way to save the ones we care about, possibly, but I think that saving somebody from death would be a completely different option. When I first saw an idol in action, my thought was that it shows our MC what can happen in future, so that they could find a way to prevent it. I still think this is the case. Everything we see in these future visions seems really off and surreal, because it’s the worst scenario of everything. Everyone dies in very bad circumstances. It’s possible, actually; just imagine how many times our characters could have died by now. Everything and everyone on this island is dangerous for them, so it’s likely that at some point, something will go the way we don’t want it to. But... This is not what this book is about. Somehow our guys still manage to survive, and I believe that it has to do with their destiny. It’s fate. They could die, but they should survive because of their fate, and they will fight for their lives right till the end, because they have motivation to do so.

Just think of how much they have grown as a team since the very beginning. Remember First Book’s ending. When told that only some of them could escape, nobody ran for their lives. Vaanti soldiers were there, but it wasn’t too clear whether they would kill the ones they capture or just keep them prisoners. There was still a chance to survive. And what about the portal gun? Literally nobody knew how it worked exactly, but it obviously moved people through the portal that could possibly go anywhere. Moreover, it could have killed them. Using it was the greatest risk ever. And yet, choosing between the Vaanti and the portal gun, they went for the one that could either save them all or kill them all, not leaving anyone behind. Nobody decided to stay for their own life. And then, in the latest chapter, did you hear Jake after Quinn revealed her secret? He was the one who originally wanted nothing to do with the island, and there he is, saying that they are a team and they will only leave La Huerta together. When the crew had to go after Diego (+ Raj and Grace), nobody decided to stay at the Celestial. Of course, it didn’t feel safe there, but going straight to enemy’s stronghold was crazy dangerous. And yet, everybody did it. Just to save their friends (even one friend, if you saved Raj and Grace before). Even Aleister agreed, and he’s the one who had always been trying to stay behind alongside Grace! All of them care about each other now, even if some won’t admit it. They have become more than just a group of extremely diverse people who don’t get along too well. They will stand for each other, even if it’s very dangerous. They are at the point where they care about who they are with more than they care about getting back home in one piece, because this possibility seems so distant after everything they’ve encountered. Everything is different now. Values change.

What I’m trying to say is that with every chapter, the bonds between characters grow stronger, they are not as easy to fight now as they were before. They will fight for each other’s lives. And our MC is shown as a pretty heroic person, so, given these future visions, they might actually figure something out. We already know (from Diego’s idol) that Rourke either has or will have a possibility to resurrect people. We are also aware that he knows more about the person in crimson spacesuit than we do, and we do know a thing or two (their hand was cut off, and they will possibly appear in future - you can see them briefly if you type in the right password the first time you’re in Rourke’s office). I think that this person might be one of us. From Raj’s idol, we know that Rourke uses some time crystals, still unclear what for. Also, going back to Book One, if you choose to help Grace talk to Aleister, you’ll find a clue - powerful healing plants growing on the Celestial’s roof. Maybe that has something to do with resurrection.

After all, there is a lot of possibilities to change something in Endless Summer. Remember the voice in the beginning of the Book Two? It told us that everything depends on our choices. That’s not exactly true about the gameplay - like, if you don’t have Rourke, Raj and Grace at the beginning of your book, they will still appear later. It’s something like destiny. But I think that Choices actually support the theory of having multiple universes, where everything depends on what you decide to do every moment of your life. Which makes me think that MC can actually change everything, whether they have the knowledge idols give or not. They are the person that can possibly change the story even more than anyone else in the team can, given the powers they have. But I think that they are not the ultimate savior here. MC is a leader, and a leader needs his followers. They can find a way to save everyone, but they can’t do it if at least one member of the crew is missing.

And maybe our crew’s deepest insecurities and fears will be the key to our victory. Just think of it - as a matter of fact, all of them have something that they have to hide from everybody, creating an image of a person that society possibly wants to see. They all carry their burden deep inside, and it is indeed painful. Some had to become tough, some try to drink and party and forget, some just can’t let people know that something’s wrong and make it look like they’re always happy or calm or strong and not really bothered by anything in their past. That’s not true, and we all know this. Michelle’s life is full of betrayal, and it’s hard to be nice and soft after everything she’s been through. Raj is never taken seriously, everyone is used to seeing him as a pretty dumb guy, and I don’t think that after this he can find motivation to be who he actually is - an incredibly smart person. Diego considers himself a sidekick, even of his own story, because he is always in the shadow, even though he actually wants to be more than that. And our MC? We don’t know much about them, but there was one line that made me think about their past. When we talked to Craig at Rourke’s marina, there was an option to say that MC had nothing to return home to - or, at least, nothing to care about. What was MC’s life like before the trip? Apparently, nothing they were too happy about. Everyone here has something to regret in their lives, something that distracts them from being who they are, because they can’t really tell who they are anymore. Now, every single person in this crew is facing the truth about themselves, they’re slowly opening up to each other, and they might as well find the key to their freedom and happiness. I don’t know what their lives will turn into if they return back home, don’t know if they will remember what has happened on La Huerta, but there is one thing I’m sure of - they will find the way to return home. They’ll do their best. Even if home means not their actual home in the USA, but their inner peace and happiness and people to care about, wherever they end up. We won’t be disappointed with what Pixelberry does to them, because we all, players and creators, love and understand the Twelve, they are more than just some characters that don’t matter to us. And Endless Summer is not a story that is meant to break our hearts - it’s a story about hope.

Thank you for reading this. I hope that, whether I’m right or wrong, this made you feel at least a little bit better about the future.

#playchoices #choices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #stories you play #endless summer #endless summer spoilers #endless summer thoughts #playchoices spoilers #choices endless summer #playchoices endless summer

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ronaldmrashid · 7 years

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Being A Landlord Tests My Faith In Humanity

I’ll never forget what James Carville, Bill Clinton’s lead strategist said to us at our high school commencement, “Always leave a place better than you found it.” His words have made me a more thoughtful person – always trying to pay for the bill, cleaning up after others long after a high school tennis match is over at a public park, and giving consulting clients more time without charging more.

The problem with being a thoughtful person is that unthoughtful people can drive you NUTS. If you want to save yourself from a lot of agitation, I suggest being a selfish person who only thinks about yourself. You won’t go very far in life because nobody will want to help you or do business with you. But at least you’ll be impervious to the negative affects of the selfishness of others!

For the past two years, I’ve had five tenants in my Marina single family house. They seemed like nice enough guys with nice enough jobs to pay the nice enough rent. There was just one problem. They didn’t give a FLYING F*CK about my property or the terms of the lease!

I’m writing this post to warn all of you folks who are considering being landlords that bad things can happen that will test your sanity. Anybody who believes that achieving financial independence early doesn’t take a lot of sacrifice is fooling themselves!

The other reason why I’m writing this post is to encourage myself to STOP trying to buy more physical property. I put in a all cash bid this week for $100,000 over asking for a house with ocean views. I lost because there were 10 other offers and the house was purposefully underpriced. Perhaps this post will help fight my property accumulation addiction!

My Pain In The Ass Tenants

If you haven’t figured it out by now, renting your house to five guys usually equals DISASTER, especially if all the guys were in a fraternity. I knew this when we agreed to the lease, but I also secretly hoped I wouldn’t find blowup dolls, pong tables, and kegs in the house (found them all in the first year!). Hope is a funny thing that makes people go against their best judgment.

Of course my good neighbors texted me to tell me whenever they threw parties way past curfew. Of course I also got notifications when they’d run across my neighbors’ roofs, drunk. If there was a San Francisco Tenant Blacklist, half of them would be on the list for sure.

The First Thoughtless Situation

Out of the 24 months they rented my house, their rent was late EIGHT times. Per the lease, any rent paid after the 4th day is considered late and subject to a $250 per day fine.

The first late payment, I wasn’t sweating it. I wasn’t worried about the second late payment either. But when the third late payment rolled around, I had a heart-to-heart conversation with the master tenant to start being more responsible and considerate since I had my own expenses associated with the house I had to pay every month. He agreed, apologized, and promised not to be late again.

Five months passed and once again they were late again. I asked him what was up, and he told me that his bank had some type of error. Uh huh. I knew he was lying, but I once again let it slide because the rent showed up a day later. Once again, I was too nice to enforce the $250/day penalty.

Then on July 4th weekend last year their rent payment was late again. This time, none of the tenants could get back to me about where the money was because they were all traveling. They finally paid the rent on the 10th, six days past the deadline. I was trying to find someway to get it through to the master tenant’s head that he was being completely irresponsible. So I used this analogy:

Imagine if your employer didn’t pay you on time every two weeks. Imagine if they decided to pay you whenever they felt like it? How would you feel? Because that is how I feel every time you’re late.

Once again, he nodded his head, apologized, and agreed to be more diligent. I forgave him again because I never felt he and the crew would not pay. I just felt they were completely thoughtless.

After the 8th late payment, I had a BRILLIANT idea. I told the master tenant, “Hey man, I know you’re having a tough time paying rent on time because you have to collect rent from four other guys, make sure everything clears, and then pay me at the bank. It sucks you can’t just automatically wire transfer the $9,000 each month. So here’s a solution! How about you cut me a written check and send it in the mail by the first of each month. I’ll wait until the 5th of each month before depositing it so that you’ve got enough money. This way, I’ll feel better knowing that at least I have a check in hand to deposit.”

He told me this was a fine idea, but never followed through. He proceeded to just go to my bank and deposit a check or cash into my account. It wasn’t the solution I wanted, but at least I was getting paid. Then just recently, they finally gave me their 31 day move-out notice, HOORAY!

One tenant needed to save money so he moved back home with his parents. Another tenant’s father bought him a one bedroom condo and will rent out his living room to one of the housemates. I’m not sure about the other two.

The Second Thoughtless Situation

Part of the lease states to maintain the yard and return it in the condition it was originally in. Maintaining the yard meant not letting the yard get overgrown with weeds, regularly watering the fruit trees, and not using it like a dumpster. I spent about $2,500 making the yard look nice a couple years before they moved in. They agreed to hire a gardner to maintain the yard twice a month.

Of course, they did no such thing. Here’s a picture of the yard during their time there.

Thanks guys for littering beer cans, breaking my bench, and letting the yard get overgrown!

They promised to get a gardener to make the yard look good again. But of course, the gardener never showed up four days before they planned to move out. Given they were consistently unreliable, I told them I’d do some leg work to make the yard look good again with my guy Luis, who ended up landscaping the back and front yard at my other single family home.

The tenants said OK. But then balked when I came back with the labor only price of $1,000. Then I told them if they were not willing to pay they should go ahead and do the work themselves, and they finally acquiesced.

After spending $1,400 (including materials) and two days completely overhauling the yard, a funny thing happened. As I was proudly showing the backyard to a leasing agent, I almost stepped in a pile of dog sh*t!

One of the tenants once again didn’t give a sh*t and decided after all that time and money spent, they’d bring a dog into the backyard, let him go #2, and just leave it there. Don’t you just LOVE it when dog owners let their dogs sh*t all over the sidewalk and never clean up after them? It’s infuriating. If you see a dog owner do such a thing, tell them to pick it up with their hands and dump it in their own house.

One tenant fessed up, “Sorry Sam, my girlfriend brought her dog to the house via the garage the other night for probably 5-10 minutes. I had no idea that happened, but my apologies. If not already cleaned up I will do it personally.”

Unbelievable.

The Third Thoughtless Situation

Two weeks before their move out date, I told the tenants to start getting rid of trash asap because the trash man would not pick up tons of extra trash that wouldn’t fit in the bins on their move out date. He might pick up one or two extra bags if he was in a good mood, but not a massive pile of trash.

My tenants ignored me.

Upon the final walk through, they were already running 1.5 hours late trying to get things out of the house. When I saw the mounds of trash on the side walk, I told them there was less than a 10% chance all of their trash would be picked up the next day. I told them to take some trash with them. They refused.

I told them to come back later that evening to get rid of at least some of the extra trash. Leaving so much trash out is a target for human scavengers and raccoons.

They refused. Why? Because I made the cardinal mistake of giving back their deposit. I took 9% off of the $17,000 on top of the $800 deducted for the yard work. Lesson learned: Landlords, wait several days before returning the deposit! You have the power.

Five extra bags of trash and overflowing bins will not all be picked up by the trash man. But my tenants couldn’t give a f*ck.

They added even more trash on the sidewalk the night before. I told them there was no way the trash would be picked up.

So guess what happened the very next morning when I came by to meet my floor refinishing guy and some prospective realtors?

Nothing! All the trash was still there and exploding on the sidewalk. I got another text message from my neighbor with this picture:

I couldn’t believe it. I texted the tenants angrily to get their asses over there to pick up the trash. And in the meantime, because I was so embarrassed with people coming over, I picked up the trash around the trash can.

Of course they didn’t come over. They apologized, and called 1-800-JUNK to pick everything up 2.5 hours after I shot them the picture.

All I Could Do Was Laugh

The way I get through stressful landlord moments is by reminding myself that everything is fixable with time and money. Then I remind myself I have a nice big deposit. If I didn’t cut them their deposit before the trash explosion, I would have felt less stressed. Lesson learned.

All I could do was laugh at the situation. I texted the picture to the realtors before they came and jokingly asked, “will this show well?”

I can unequivocally say this has been my worst landlord experience over the past 12 years. But I’m stronger for this experience. I will do my best never to rent to 4 or 5 guys anymore. Further, I absolutely will not buy another physical property for rental income. Every time I have an itch to buy physical real estate, I will refer back to this post to keep myself in check.

I’m all about simplicity now. Two rental properties plus a vacation property is the maximum I can handle. All new money that I originally planned to use for physical real estate will now go towards buying municipal bonds, REITs and real estate crowdfunded projects outside of San Francisco. A 4% – 12% potential annual gain with no tenants to deal with is good enough for me!

I’m too old for being a hands on landlord anymore. Before I retired in 2012, I thought real estate would pay for my living expenses happily ever after. Thank goodness for online income instead. I’m at the point where I’d rather just keep my house empty like a shady foreigner trying to park illicit money and forgo any rental income. I may even want to sell the rental house, but the 5% commission (~$130,000+) plus $20,000 in transfer taxes keeps me holding tight.

Any landlords out there have horrendous experiences they’d like to share? I need to hear them so I can feel better about myself!

from http://www.financialsamurai.com/being-a-landlord-tests-my-faith-in-humanity/

#Financial Samurai

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