#it's hard as hell to fake being trans yo

[adhdeancas]

Sunset Sound: Made in Heaven

Read Chapter 5 on AO3 here.

“Alright, ladies and gents, let’s do this.” Pamela rubs her hands together. They’re all crowded around a table, having hauled Pamela’s magic crap in. She looks around at them like they’re all gathered around for a campfire ghost story. “So, rumor has it that you can crack into the Empty with an inter-realm spell. So… we need somebody from each of the ball fields: Heaven, Earth, Hell, Purgatory.” 

Charlie whistles. “Great. Well, we got the Heaven side covered. Earth is probably next easiest, right?” 

“Except we can’t run the risk of Chuck finding out what we’re up to. So, down low. Evasive measures.” 

Dean nods at Ash. “Sam’s got a handle on the Earth shit; he’s a little magic freak now. No offense.” he puts a hand on Pamela. She rolls her eyes. “But how do we get a message down to him without setting Chuck off? Not like we can send a halo-ed carrier pigeon.”

They all think on it for a second, till Pamela leans forward. “The veil. If we can contact a ghost, they can haunt Sam and get him the message.” 

Charlie raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t ghosts known for being kind of… crazy? Murderous?”

“Huge dicks?” Ash adds helpfully. 

Pamela shrugs. “We could find one that’s recently died; there’s the possibility they wouldn’t have turned yet. But we’d have to know who we’re contacting, we can’t just put out a classified.” 

Something pings in the back of Dean’s head and he slams his hand on the table. He apologizes quickly because damn near everyone jumps at the noise. “I got it. Kevin. Kevin Tran. He’s in the veil still, and he’s spent a fuckton of time down there, he’d know how to haunt somebody good.” 

“And is he going to want to help us?” 

Dean frowns at Pamela. “What does that mean?” 

“I mean, people don’t usually end well around you, Dean. Case in point,” she motions around the table at all of them. “It’s not your fault but… sometimes there are hard feelings.” 

Dean shakes his head. He deserves hard feelings from Kevin, that’s for sure, but the kid’s awesome. Hell, last time he’d seen them he’d been almost happy, even signing up to stay in the veil forever. “Nah, we can trust Kevin. He’s family.” 

“Alright. Fire her up then, Pam,” Ash is excited. Pamela shoots him a glare for impatience but she gets her shit together anyway. It’s already set up, all she has to do is ask Dean for a few personal details, chant a bit, and she gets through. “We’re asking for Kevin Tran. Kevin Tran, if you’re out there, Dean Winchester wants a word. Well, a few actually. Kevin, can you hear me?” 

The draft spigot turns on by itself, spewing beer onto the floor. “Hey Kev, want a beer?” Dean jumps up and grabs a glass, pumped at the prospect of seeing his friend again.” 

“That’s it, Kevin. You’re doing great. Keep trying, keep locking into that.” 

The candles on the table go out one by one: apparently, Kevin practicing. Dean holds his breath and shuts off the draft spigot, a glass of beer held out in front of him. “Can ghosts drink? Wait, are you even 21, Kevin?” 

“The kid’s dead and you’re gonna huff and puff over the legal age for a Pilsner?” Ash laughs. Dean hands it to him; he has a point. Maybe Jack’s made him a little overprotective of shit like that. 

Kevin appears in front of Dean then, hand outstretched to try and take the beer. His sudden appearance makes Dean spill half of it all over himself. “Son of a- hi Kevin!” he offers the beer out again, and this time Kevin takes it and pours it right through his ghostly figure. “Oh… shit.” 

Kevin deadpans at him. “Yeah, it sucks. Hi, Dean.” 

“How you doing, bud?” 

Kevin shrugs and sighs, looking down at himself. “Well, I’m dead. Still. Dean, you wanna explain what I’m doing here first?” 

Dean nods, grabbing the beer back from Kevin and setting it on the table. He motions for the kid to turn around toward the table set up with witchy shit. “Kevin, this is Ash, Charlie, and Pamela, the psychic who summoned you.” Pamela and Ash both give a flirty wink, which makes Dean turn about three shades of red in the face. 

“Heard a lot, kid.” Ash greets him.

“Yeah, I’ve never heard of any dead guy with such bad luck.” Pamela adds on. And she would know.

Kevin nods with a wry smile. “Yeah, well, that’s just me, I guess. Dead for years, in the veil most of it and hell for the rest.”

“Kev, I’m so sorry-” 

Kevin holds up a hand to stave off Dean’s apologies. “It’s not your fault, Dean. It’s Chuck’s. Tell me you got him.” 

“That’s what we’re here for, man.” 

“Yeah, apparently we’re the Kill God Team now.” Charlie grins and Kevin smiles back. 

“Hell fucking yeah. I can get on board with that. Whaddya need me to do?” 

They all sit down at the table and map it all out. “We need you to get the plan over to Sam, but we can’t have Chuck finding out about any of it.”

“Yeah, so you need to make sure he knows to keep a low profile.” Dean warns. The last fucking thing in the world they need is to lose the element of surprise. Plus, that would put Sam right in Chuck’s crosshairs, and Dean can’t be there to back him up. He curses himself again for dying. 

“What exactly do we mean by low profile?” Charlie asks. “Are we talking cabin in the middle of the woods off-grid kind of low profile or just a Meet the Robinson’s type deal?”

Dean sighs. “Sam needs to stay away from anything Chuck likes to watch.” God, it sounded grimy just saying it. “That means hunting, that means me, that means… Eileen too.” 

“Eileen?” 

“His girlfriend.” It hurts Dean to think about, but- “Chuck’s used them against each other before; he likes them together. So they gotta stay apart.”

“Shit.” Charlie exhales quietly, and Dean nods. It’s unfair. It sucks. It’s Chuck. 

“Tell him to live a normal life. Be as happy as he can. But don’t come looking for me and don’t get interesting. Or Chuck will just fuck with him some more, and if he does that… he’s gonna find out what we’re doing.” Kevin nods seriously. He never gets brought around for fun shit, does he? Dean feels a pang of regret at that. He immediately wants to change it. “But right now, whaddya say we have some fun, huh?” 

The table looks at him like he’s gone nutty. He shrugs and grins. “Come on guys, we’re dead. Don’t we all have a night to spare?” 

He sees Charlie come around first, slow grin spreading across her face. “Fuck yeah, let’s party, bitches!”

It doesn’t take the rest of them much convincing either. Dean has some good-ass friends. “Yo Kev, since you can’t get fucked up, you wanna play some pool?” Ash hitches his thumb at the table behind him. 

Dean laughs. “Ash, you are one cruel son of a bitch. Years of being a friggin’ ghost and you’re gonna whoop him in pool? That’s cold.” 

Ash shakes his head. “Nah man, I’ve spent way more time passed out on that table than playing on it. I’d say the kid’s got a fair shot.” Kevin smiles and shrugs at Dean.

“Hey, that’s more than I’ve ever gotten before; I’ll take my chances” 

They head off to play and Dean grabs a beer to watch, a good one this time. One with the label he and Sam used to buy, the kind that Cas said “didn’t taste as much like the vast expanse of space dust” as the others. Charlie and Pamela follow with their own. 

“So Dean,” Pamela says. “Ash tells me you gotta angel on your shoulder.” She sounds a little weary. Dean figures that’s fair, given her experience with the species. 

“Uh… yeah. Castiel.” He gestures to her eyes. “That one.” Pamela shrugs if off. 

“So make me like him. Charlie here says you’ve got quite the bond.” Dean blushes pink, but for once there isn’t any innuendo behind her voice. At least, none that is teasing. He looks to Charlie, who makes a ‘I didn’t say anything’ face at him and relaxes a bit. 

“Well, uh, he hasn’t burned anymore eyes out,” Dean starts, then reconsiders. “Well, none that didn’t deserve it.” Not really true either. “Well-” 

“He’s super cute.” Charlie cuts him off. Dean blushes deeper. “He gave a whole fuck-you to heaven to save Dean.” Dean blushes deeper still. Why does it sound so… intimate when she says it like that? Pamela just raises an eyebrow.

“Sounds like some ally.” 

“Cas?” Kevin sinks a ball. The kid’s not bad, actually. Ash was right; they are neck-and-neck. “Yeah, he’s awesome. I mean, weird, but cool.” Dean grins. Weird but cool was exactly Cas. 

“Someday, man, I gotta meet this guy.” Ash laments.

“Someday, dude, you will.” Dean vows. Somehow sitting around talking about him with all these guys, he felt confident it was true. “Once we bust him out, you better bet we’re throwing a party and meet-and-greeting everybody. 

“I’ll finally get to tease him for the eyes. You think it’d get him better without the fakes?” She pops her fake cloudy eyes out and waggles her eyebrows at Dean, empty eye sockets looking bizarre on such a cheerful face. Dean laughs. 

“You’re not gonna need to; he already feels shitty for that. He’ll probably offer to heal ‘em, matter of fact.” 

“Well, he won’t get far with that one,” Ash calls over. “Angels been trying to do it for years.” Pamela nods at Dean’s questioning glance.

“Wouldn’t be me without ‘em, now. Who needs sight anyway?” 

“Without eyes you won’t be able to see my pretty face!” Dean bullshits. 

“Yeah, or your brother’s tight ass. Second thought, remind me when Sam gets up here, won’t ya?” Dean makes a gagging noise and Pamela laughs. 

“So you said Chuck’s in your… kid?” Kevin asks skeptically. He misses a shot and Ash hollers. Dean cracks his neck and considers how to answer. 

“Kinda. I mean, yeah. Just not- he’s Lucifer and a human’s, technically.” He starts, realizing Kelly’s in heaven too. They’ve gotta let her in on this, but not now. Not now when Chuck!Jack is probably visiting her as her son; it’s too risky. With how sick he feels at the idea of Jack being Chuck’s meatsuit, well…

He sees Cas. Again. Just for a second, there he is standing outside the window, looking less wounded but more tired than before. He looks like he’s focused on something, like he’s scared, but he also looks transfixed, like he can’t look away. As Dean watches, Cas closes his eyes and mouths something. It looks like he’s counting. “One, two, three.” Dean blinks and he’s gone, and Dean’s left wondering if he imagined the whole thing.

“Dean?” 

“Yeah.” He smiles at Charlie to let her know he’s okay. Ish. “Sorry, uh, so he’s kind of devilspawn but he’s ours. Mine, Cas’s, Sam’s. Long story. But he’s a good kid.” He nods, knowing he oughta give more information, but not really knowing how.

“Who woulda thought, Dean Winchester, a dad.” Ash ribs with a grin. Dean laughs back and nods. His life hadn’t really screamed stability and mentorhood. His death still didn’t.

“Yeah, I… I haven’t exactly been a star father-figure…” Dean shakes his head. The conflict in his head that culminates in Jack is confusing as hell, but three things win him over. The first is Jack’s innocent, naive face looking up at him for any kind of approval or wisdom. A kid. Just a kid. The second is Cas’s face as he smiles at him that one night over a whiskey glass, the prideful joy as he tells Dean he always believed in Jack. The third is the pit in his gut of all the times he acted like his dad to Jack. And no matter what, Dean can’t leave those memories be. He can’t have Jack remember him like that, and he can’t look Cas in the eye knowing he didn’t do everything he could to make things right. “But that’s gonna change, if it fucking kills me. We gotta save him when we get Chuck, guys, we gotta.” 

“We will.” Kevin looks at him with an overly-confident smile. “We can’t lose. You’ve got me, now!”

The rest of them bust out laughing, and Kevin fakes offense. “You’re right, Kev. Don’t know what I’m so worried ‘bout.” 

Tag List (ask to be added or removed):

@dochunterwitch  @justonecitizenoftheearth @gnbrules @purpe @castiel-is-a-cat @alienapparatus @damian-janus-pendragon

#sunset sound #chapter 6 #made in heaven #deancas #destiel #fanfic #my writing #dean winchester #charlie bradbury #pamela barnes #ash #kevin tran #castiel #jack kline #chuck shurley

[atlas-evolves]

it's the book anon, lol. i'm too shy to come off anon, but i'm glad you appreciate my messages! i'll message you more, then! :) why don't you do everyone in trc for that ask thing?

awwww!!!!!!!!!!! thats okay, love!!!! and yeah, feel free to do this anytime, even if it’s not about books!!!! ily!!!

Blue Sargent

 Why I like them: she’s a badass female character that doesn’t take any boy’s bullshit. also, she works really hard to achieve her dreams and she’s really resilient. also her fashion sense? amazing. i aspire to be her, tbh. also she’s short like me lol

Why I don’t: okay, it’s not even something i don’t like about her, because i sorta do? but it’s kinda off-putting how cliché her character is? like she’s the only one in her family that isn’t a psychic, but she’s a ~mirror~. i love cliché things tho….. so it’s conflicting?

·         Favorite line: “I just want to pretend. I want to pretend I could.” / “It should be so.” / Every fight she had with Adam, tbh.

·         OTP: bluesy, duh.

·         Brotp: ronan/blue….idk what the ship name is but their friendship is the reason i breathe tbh.

·         Head Canon: idk…. i like her canon enough lmao like i don’t think i have any?

·         Unpopular opinion: probably the thing i wrote above lmao

·         A wish: that she lives a long, happy life and goes to costa rica and fulfills all of her dreams

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: she changes anything about her ever

·         5 words to best describe them: feminist, aesthetic, hardworking, funny, badass

·         My nickname for them: i don’t have one

Richard “Dick” Campbell Gansey III

·         Why I like them: he is the greatest friend ever? he cares so much about his friends and he’s just so…. so good to them. he’s also so smart and so driven to do the things he wants to do and i admire him so much for that. also he can be That Bitch when he needs to be and i live for it. all his fucking quirks it’s beautiful.  i relate to his anxious ass lmao his fashion sense kills me too.

·         Why I don’t: the! motherfucking! will-he-die-shit! i haven’t finished the raven king and i’m lowkey pulling my hair out every time i read a scene with him in it.

·         Favorite line: “I believe I’m having a panic attack.” / “I like you an awful lot, Blue Sargent.” / The whole duck scene / “Crushed and broken. Just the way women like ‘em.” / “Safe as life.”

·         OTP: bluesey

·         Brotp: god……………………………………. the trio, tbh. i live for their friendship. don’t make me choose between them.

·         Head Canon: i have this very specific head canon for how his voice sounds but idk how to describe it

·         Unpopular opinion: idk?

·         A wish: that he lives happily,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, please………………

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: having him die,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

·         5 words to best describe them: driven, anxious, king, leader, fighter

·         My nickname for them: none?

Ronan Lynch

·         Why I like them: where do i start………………………………. god. first of all how much he loves his family and his friends. like he would literally die for them and holy fuck he’s so fucking sweet. like he masks it with this harsh exterior but like??? he gave adam lotion, he paid his rent. he goes to church every sunday to see his brother. he wrote “remembered” on noah’s car over “murdered” i cried tbh. he didn’t kill kavinsky the first time he saw him?  he dreamt up a fucking baby raven, named it chainsaw, and raised that thing. fucking angel. but he’s also a huge asshole? also how fucking Dramatic he is, because same. i just…… really relate to this asshole so much.

·         Why I don’t: okay…… so when he dreamt that night and almost died….. he let gansey and everyone let him thing that he killed himself…….. and then liked joked about it………. like i get his reasoning and like i totally understand it all, but as someone whose struggled with suicide and shit…. it just wasn’t cool to read that.

·         Favorite line: everything he says is perfect tbh but…. “You’re already dead!” / “Thanks Parrish, I like your face, too.” / “It makes you look like a loser.” / “There was never a you and me.” / “Jesus Mary Fuck!” / “You’re just jealous because you didn’t find one, too.” / “I’m being perfectly fucking civil.” / “Don’t fucking swear.” / “Maybe I dreamt you.” / “Gansey’s partying with his mother. And Noah’s fucking dead. But Parrish is here.”

·         OTP: pynch…………..rovinsky (kill me tbh but like….. i ship it)

·         Brotp: gansey/ronan, and blue/ronan, i live for their friendships tbh also!!! noah/ronan, i think that’s my fave

·         Head Canon: i have this head canon (that’s basically canon) but if any of his friends, even if they’re not adam, need something, he’ll dream it for them and hide it somewhere they’ll find it. also this is also canon but when he moves to the barns he dreams a shit ton of animals and will text pictures of them to adam gansey and blue all the time and that he makes his animals a meme and everyone loves it. also trans ronan is my fucking shit

·         Unpopular opinion: tbh…. idk

·         A wish: he lives a long, happy life as a farmer with his beautiful husband and adoptive daughter i’m waiting for the dreamer trilogy to kill me

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: pls….. don’t hurt my son or his friends……… keep everyone safe.

·         5 words to best describe them: asshole, dramatic, caring, strong, honest

·         My nickname for them: nothing, yo

Adam Parrish

·         Why I like them: where the fuck do i even………. ok so like adam is so fucking strong, okay? he stayed at an abusive household, didn’t accept charity, and stuck to his principles. that shit is so fucking hard. and when it came down to it, he stuck up for himself, and got his father in trouble, and accepted his friends help, which in some ways is harder. and he’s so driven, working multiple jobs to pay for food and school and rent, going to a private school school and getting A’s because he knows that he has to work hard to achieve what he wants. and he’s intuitive. he knows that ronans crushing on him, he figured out that gansey was destined to die, and he’s just….. so smart. And he’s!!!! bisexual. love that representation.

·         Why I don’t: okay…. so like, i understand sticking to your principles, but……. there’s a time where it’s totally acceptable to not. and when you’re fucking able to leave an abusive household, that’s a pretty good fucking reason. Granted, he did eventually, but he could’ve don’t it a lot sooner. he’s just a little shortsighted, i guess? Ironic, lmao. also, his callouts (like with blue, when telling ronan he knew he paid the rent, etc.) is appreciated, because he isn’t taking bullshit, he could… handle them better.

·         Favorite line: “That’s this biggest lie you’ve ever told.” (GET REKT) /  all his exchanges with ronan tbh / “I’d like to press charges.” / “Nobody knows what [enter long word here] means, Gansey.” / all his callouts with blue

·         OTP: pynch

·         Brotp: gansey/adam

·         Head Canon: I have very specific headcanons for him but like………. idk it’s too long

·         Unpopular opinion: binch idk

·         A wish: he lives a happy, long life with his famer boyfriend and adoptive daughter.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: just let my son be happy, alright? Happy and safe

·         5 words to best describe them: a mess, motivated, sad, intuitive, angry

·         My nickname for them: idk??

Noah Czerny

·         Why I like them: He’s literally so cute and sweet??? But also??? kinda terrifying. A+

·         Why I don’t: Because I’m halfway through trk and idk whats happening with him

·         Favorite line: “He threw me out the window!” / “Glitter! Whoops!” / “I’ve been dead for seven years.” / “I’ve told you I was dead. I’m dead.” / all his interactions with blue rip

·         OTP: god…. i don’t ship him romantically with anyone???

·         Brotp: Ronan/Noah // Blue/ Noah

·         Head Canon: like with everyone they’re too specific rip

·         Unpopular opinion: That he’s Good? idk

·         A wish: that he does whatever the hell he wants

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: he passes on? does he? Don’t tell me

·         5 words to best describe them: cute, scary, eccentric, gullible, creative

·         My nickname for them: none

 Joseph Kavinsky

·         Why I like them: i just love him, alright? he’s garbage, i know. but like……… you can tell he’s been through a lot in life, and who wouldn’t be fucked up after their dad tried to murder them? and he’s very… gung-ho about everything i love it. and how blunt he is? live for it.

·         Why I don’t: he could…. Not use homophobic slurs. Lmao dude, ur gay af, u can stop.

·         Favorite line: “It’s either with me or against me.” / tbh all his shots at gansey/ronan being together / that exchange with ronan when he was talking about his past

·         OTP: god………………………… lavinsky…………….. shoot me i know. also him and proko.

·         Brotp: him and proko…. And lavinsky tbh.

·         Head Canon: i have a lot riperoni

·         Unpopular opinion: he’s a Good character. Maybe not a good person, but…..

·         A wish: him not being dead would be pretty great.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: the worst has already happened so wtf else could tear me down? (this is not an invitation………..)

·         5 words to best describe them: gay, blunt, asshole, sad, jealous

·         My nickname for them: none

 Henry Cheng

·         Why I like them: Because he’s so nice to everyone? Like he helps Blue at school when they fake that fight. He offered to fly places with her. And all his interactions with Gansey? A+

·         Why I don’t: I literally don’t know if I trust him or not? Like I’m sure I can but that thing with the robot bee? Rude.

·         Favorite line: Honestly…. Every line he says is iconic. / “Life is a show.” / the interaction with gansey in blue lily, lily blue / the interaction with gansey in the Aglionby hidey hole

·         OTP: i don’t ship him romantically with anyone rip

·         Brotp: him and gansey also him and blue tbh

·         Head Canon: don’t have any tbh

·         Unpopular opinion: Idk

·         A wish: that he’s happy and stops being fucking…………. mysterious.

·         An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: that he fucks everyone over? (please don’t tell me if he does or doesn’t but like………… pls henry)

·         5 words to best describe them: helpful, funny, charitable, dramatic, eccentric

·         My nickname for them: none

#ya got mail #book anon #series: the raven cycle #this is really long lmao but ily <3

[bemore-jeremy]

Jeremy Heere

I love Jeremy, so here are some different variants and headcanons for Jeremy because this is what I dedicate my time to Nonbinary/Agender Jeremy: Um???? Listen up Jeremy using they/them pronouns and just chilling is such a concept, I don't really have much to say about this one except I think it's a beautiful idea and I want more™ Trans Jeremy: Aye yo can I get uhhhhhh Trans Jeremy with his Trans boyfriend Michael???? You can't tell me that isn't the best concept. I refuse to believe they don't go binder shopping together and hype each other up and stand up for each other absolutely fight me. Pining Jeremy: Whether he's pining over Michael or Christine or whoever- pining Jeremy is such a nervous, sweet baby. He deserves so much. Let the blushy boy pine. Genderbent Jeremy: We've already established that I love all Jeremy's but here we are at Genderbent Jeremy. I wasn't sure what her name would be, so I have two options. Maya (because JereMIAH) or Jen/Jennelle because, well, J. But I don't think you guys fully understand, Tomboy, bobcut Maya with little frecks and blue eyes, what a concept!!!! Blue Hair Jeremy: This one speaks for itself but oh my LORD Jeremy with fluffy blue hair!!!!! What in the world!!!! Emo Phase Jeremy: We have all has an emo phase, okay? Jeremy had an emo phase. All black, fake piercings, "no one understands me", and most importantly: My Chemical Romance. Yeah. Musical Jeremy: That boy can play the piano good. He's so talented. I love him. He's the next Bach, oh my god. Badass Jeremy: Okay give me bad boy Jeremy wearing leather jackets and being a big boy bodyguard™ for Michael. Nothing scares him. He's cool as hell. Alternatively, Soft Boy Jeremy: You can feel free to give me a soft, sensitive Jeremy who can't even hurt a bee. He loves bees. Michael protects and loves him. He just wants kisses. He's fragile. Sensory Jeremy: Sensory disorders are difficult to deal with, okay? Sometimes its hard for me to talk when there's even a TV on in the room because its overwhelming. So I feel like we need a Jeremy so is sensitive to light, sound, or smells. Soft Sensory boy. Anxiety Jeremy: Jeremy with anxiety is importwent because representation. That's why. Blue eyes Jeremy: Yeah, it's canon that he has blue eyes but when people draw him with super light, blue eyes and long lashes it makes me cry tears of joy. Freckly Jeremy: GIVE JEREMY SO MANY FRECKS!!!! HES A FRECKLY BOY!!! Acne Jeremy: Don't erase his acne from his character. It makes him look even cuter don't erase the parts you don't like!!!! Let him have acne and be happy! Vitiligo Jeremy: I've seen vitiligo Michael but vitiligo Jermey is such a concept feel free to give me some of that. I love the vitiligo boys. Pin Jeremy: Yeah Jeremy is a pin boy, he has so many pins and you can't ever stop him. Arsty Jeremy: Not only am I referencing him being artistic (and drawing Michael like one of his French girls) I mean him having an art hoe aesthetic! Jeremy in yellow! What!!!! Here are some Jeremy's to choose from instead of making him a bland emotionless villain ok thanks 👍

#so many to choose from #treat him nicely #jeremy heere #be more chill #michael mell #christine canigula #bmc

[spaceboitakesflight-blog]

Imagination as Respiration, as Regiment for Pain. Imagination as Fuck it. Imagination as Fire.

Note: This article is much more helpful if you click the links. They range in types of content (articles, research, data, organizations to support) and have a lot of useful information! The majority of bold sections are lyrics from Mos Def & Talib Kweli are Black Star (1998). 

I trust, I hope Philando Castile’s spirit finds rest and justice in the fires lit for him.

Police are pigs, and should be treated as such.

The state arrested 18 protesters in Minnesota after the verdict came out.

The jury was more over 50% middle aged whites.

Bill Cosby rape case ended in mistrial.\ Could be 365 days til re-trail, but they're "pushing it along"... \ And how many white rapists will they let go low-profile in the span of that time? 

Charleena Lyles.

Say: Her name 

How many more cops will go free after committing murder? 

“Every year $9 billion dollars are wasted incarcerating people who've not been convicted of a crime, and insurance companies, who have taken over our bail system, go to the bank.”  

2.3 million people incarcerated. And if you are aware of anything in this country, you already know the racial breakdown.   The state will inflict fear in whatever ways it can. How physically, how psychologically difficult will they make it for any person of color to [fill in the blank].    

How many immigrants detained? How many people (”terrorists”) held in Guantanamo? How many survivors of domestic violence unjustly convicted? How many queer folks, how many trans women of color locked up or killed for existing? 

“Same song, just remixed, different arrangement Put you on a yacht but they won't call it a slave ship Strangeness, you don't control this, you barely hold this Screaming "brand new", when they just sanitized the old shit Suppose it's, just another clever Jedi mind trick”  

Why the fuck should anyone wait for these racist patriarchal systems to magically change, when we could burn it down and start again? How much longer will white people continue to lie to themselves? How much time can be bought, to “hide like thieves in the night from life”?  

This year I worked for a college access organization that serves first generation college students. After one of our weekly tutoring sessions, a visiting tutor asked “how we could have possibly ended up here”--”here” meaning, high school students not being able to pass basic math courses. I said there’s no question, the system is designed for these students to fail... In too many ways to count.   

Colorism: an intentional set of lethal mindgames.

“The paradox of education is precisely this - that as one begins to become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he is being educated.” -James Baldwin

Enter the need for critical consciousness.  

amerikkka creates its own twisted history. Writes a false narrative of motion. Spits it down our throats with pat on the back after every swallow. amerikkka stores archives of criminal evidence in its basement. Inconvenient, for gentrification, for the colonization agenda. Perfect for a culture of gas-lighting. Where violence hides behind the innocence of an opinion.  

“Because white men can’t/ police their imagination/ black men are dying.” - Claudia Rankine 

Imagination is deadly. Hence the state’s thirst to monitor and control the ways we think, the concepts we imagine. 

“A lot of people don't understand the true criteria of things Can't just accept the appearance, have to get the true essence”

amerikkka chooses to stay mentally and emotionally disturbed, caught in an abyss of disgusting history, frantically running through the same corporate racist cycles that are killing every good thing on this earth.   

amerikka will do anything to fuck with your head. Will force you to accept shit that is slowly killing you, or quickly killing the people around you, just to make it through another day. It will do anything to brainwash, to separate you from your own body, to wrap you in isolation until the fear of explosion is so great, dying doesn’t seem like a bad option. Suicide among people of color then, is not counted as murder by the state? 

Enter the truth.

“This life is temporary but the soul is eternal Separate the real from the lie, let me learn you”

Put in the work your mind deserves to undo the lies it has been soaked in.

“Yo, I'm sure that everybody out listening agree That everything you see ain't really how it be A lot of jokers out running in place, chasing the style Be a lot going on beneath the empty smile Most cats in my area be loving the hysteria Synthesized surface conceals the interior America, land of opportunity, mirages and camouflages”

I don’t think any of us will see a day of reconciliation and justice in this life. But the idea of freedom fuels revolution. “Freedom” can exist in our minds. It is the act of imagining that makes freedom more readily available in the mind than it can exist among these physical systems of oppression. 

“At exactly which point do you start to realize That (life without knowledge is death in disguise?) That's why, knowledge of self is like life after death”

"I will continue to say murder because where in this planet do you tell the truth and you be honest and you still be murdered by the police of Minnesota?" Valerie Castile asked. 

Every time I see an american flag, i burn it in my imagination. I kill trump in my imagination. shoot him, chop his head off. i feel  nothing but satisfaction. kathy griffith did it, for fake. a photoshoot. a stunt./ they took it for real life/ no fucks about the death toll in his name/

“So much on my mind that I can't recline Blastin' holes in the night 'til she bled sunshine Breathe in, inhale vapors from bright stars that shine Breathe out, weed smoke retrace the skyline Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call I can't take it, y'all, I can feel the city breathing Chest heaving, against the flesh of the evening Sigh before we die like the last train leaving” 

A lot of us are just trying to hold on. Not “go crazy”. Pay bills. Navigate relationships. Survive pain, hurt, trauma, loss. How can we move past survival? 

“Life or death, if I'm choosing with every breath I'm enhancing” 

Taking care of your mental health is important in order to use your mind to your advantage, to build structures of resilience and resistance. Understand what resources you need in order to do the work. Make steps to start the organization you have always dreamed of forming. Write your business plan. Pull the bars of music hiding beneath your chest. Write those poems simmering in your belly. Tag that building or train with your art. Be the teacher, mentor, parent you imagine yourself to be. Be the role model Philando was, and should have had more time to be. 

Free yourself to take productive risks in your efforts to self-sustain. 

Because for real, lets start our own healthcare networks. POC run history archives. POC art galleries. POC therapy centers. Our own economies, our own ways to exchange food and skills. 

Collective revolt calls for collective imagination. No justice, no peace. Do the healing to find your peace. Allow yourself to form community, and ride for that community/chosen family “Who are knowledge, truth, and peace seekers”.

Fight for your imagination and the wonders it feeds you. Preserve your energy. Direct it in places of healing. Talk to your ancestors. Allow yourself days to feel sad and tired. Allow yourself days to feel strong and motivated. Keep trying. 

They will never know where your inspiration comes from. Where your fire originates. They will not understand your ability to keep breathing. to hold the fire in your chest and not burn. to drink water then spit bombs on cop cars. to grieve so hard your body thrashes salt against the walls, then still grow so soft, so centered.

Imagine: create: like your life depends on it.

#blacklivesmatter #nojusticenopeace #blackstar #qtpoc #sayhername