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aggresivelyfriendly · 5 years

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Angry Hada Kiss-Request

This clearly ran away with me! I imagine this is right before a theoretical second tour and about a year after Hada kissed for the first time. A couple years after the event of Tryst!

"How long were you with her?" Ada was seething. She was sure that if Harry wasn't floating on how excited he was about his tour and how it was coming together he would have noticed she was boiling. But he'd been boyishly excited. She almost felt guilty to ruin his mood. Almost.

He should have told her. It wasn't a lie, just an omission. It was impossible to ride his high with him after she realized.

Ada had been captivated too, when he'd told her his ideas for the staging. Still stripped back and musically focused, but with sentimental nuggets and images, she'd whole heartedly loved the idea. When the images started arriving, they'd spent hours pouring over them. The new album was less melancholic, he was happier. She'd felt a bit responsible for that. Felt warm all over about it; she could take some credit. They'd had a whirlwind year after the movie came out. They weren't living together, but they might as well have been. Things were good, she believed that.

She had nothing to worry about, right? So why didn't he tell her? Anytime between his request and now.

"Hey, we have a stage rehearsal, tomorrow, and I think my, like, tour family, will all be there," He'd pinked up in the way she loved he still did. Like she didn't know he was soft and lovely most places, but not in the dark. "Would you come with me, meet everybody? See the ideas realized. Tell me what you think, honestly?"

She'd been afterglowing on their morning lie in, in a silly mood. "Oh, am I known for sparing your feelings, Styles?"

He burst a laugh, "no, I suppose not." He took her hand. "But I value your opinion. And I want it to be great. And you have an eye and experience." She nodded, kissed his earnest nose, where it curved down when he talked. She loved that little nuance of him. She kinda wanted to punch him in his wiggly nose right now, hours later. She felt like there were a few other details he should have given her before they'd arrived.

That somebody else she'd have to meet, that he'd be around everyday, knew what he looked like across a pillow.

Ada would not have gone then though, maybe he knew that. She might have missed it. It had all been gorgeous and everybody lovely.

Speaking of lovely, the spritely little photographer hadn't registered immediately on Ada's relationship radar. They'd shaken hands, kissed cheeks, while Harry was engaged, no red flag widening of eyes on, what was her name, when they'd been introduced. She cast her mind back to and hour ago. Until Harry was oh so helpful.

"Helene?" Harry responded and that was what had peaked her interest. She wasn't the only small blonde. They were in LA after all.

It wasn't just the way Helene went from tiny and adorable to suddenly sexy when Harry was nearby. She hadn't done anything. Nothing discernible, really, but Ada read people, something about being the only black girl in most rooms, you learned who to talk to, avoid. Helene, as Harry had helpfully supplied, had pouted her lips, jutted a hip, minutely.

And Harry. He'd been Harry, warm and lovely and affectionate. The touch, though, had been familiar. Lingered one second to long.

And his eyes had closed when they hugged.

That's when Ada had known.

He closed his eyes. The way she caught him doing in the mirror when they hugged, Ada and Harry. What did that mean? What were their feelings? Repressed? Explored? Rejected? All the things she didn't know were what made her madder and madder, more alarmingly insecure on the way home.

Could two women be more different?

"Yes Helene!" She huffed and threw her jacket and the Gucci purse he'd given her, that she sorta liked, on the floor. "But thanks for confirming!"

"Why are you upset?" She whirled on him and he looked sincerely confused.

"Because you've fucked her!" Her hands flashed up to her chin level where her shoulders were. His reaction would confirm or deny.

"Ada," he hesitated. Bingo! Her anger could be hot, it would flare then disappear, unless it was fanned. He was tiptoeing, it pissed her off. "Smokes!"

"Don't!" She warned.

"You know I wasn't a virgin when we got together babe, you know where I've been."

She figured he meant his fluidity, but in this case, specificity was the problem. "No, I actually don't! Which is the fucking problem! I know you fucked any willing tall, blonde groupie that one year, and a couple boys for your trouble. And your exes, Camille." Harry winced. She knew he could have loved that one. "Weren't you with her on tour? I didn't think you were a cheater."

He caught her hands, came close. "I didn't cheat, she wanted it open. That's not fair, Ada, what are you really mad about here? I'm lost. That I've had sex before? That I slept with two women concurrently, with their knowledge? That you had to meet a person from my past? You know Kendall already."

Fucking Kendall, Ada didn't love that they were around each other so much. Fuck, she didn't know she was such a jealous person, maybe she usually didn't give a fuck.

"I'm livid that you didn't respect me enough to give me a heads up that you were fucking your photographer before I had to meet her!" She pushed his hand away and he went to re-establish the connection but she balled her fist.

"Ada! I don't, it wasn't a relationship, I didn....how'd you even know?"

"Oh fuck you Styles! You meant to hide it?" She went to push him and grabbed his shirt instead.

"No, no, no, no!" He repeated over and over. "I didn't, I don't, I just didn't think about it! I've told you about my relationships, all of them." He looked scared and she softened just a touch. "I guess, because it was just a few times..."

"Harry, she may not have been a girlfriend, but you'll be with her all the time, on tour, and you fell into something before, and I feel...." she searched for the word. Scared. "Disrespected."

"I," he reached for her, lost like her, needing connection, and she went to him this time. Anger still simmering. "I can see that, and I'm sorry. I just...you've nothing to worry about, Smokes, I love you. I love you so." He said it against her mouth, and she went banked, coals in a grate, the heat into his mouth, her breath still huffed. Even the kiss he graced her with wasn't enough to extinguish her fire. Her worry.

The kiss was soft, a press of his gorgeous omitting mouth to hers. All full lipped and minted breath. Tentative, he kissed, provided the gentle suction she loved on her top lip, bottom lip, then top again before his tongue slide against her own to tangle and distract.

He gave her a cursory gentle nip, on the third retreat and parry and that was it. She bit him back and grabbed his hair, missing the slightly longer locks he had just sheared. They would be good to pull. She yanked his neck back, and he rolled his eyes down to her, gentled his neck. Ada guided him down, not so gentle pressure on his neck. Harry went easy to his knees, kissed hers, then her thighs, between, as penance. Asked forgiveness with his eyes and gentle neck, obedience. "Lick me!" And he'd done until she said "stop!"

But it wasn't enough. Even when he let her tie him down, showed his belly and his ass in contrition. The marks on his ass felt right, he pinked up in a way she didn't.

It was an occasional reversal they played in. But it was more common after Ada met Helene, because she couldn't stop asking herself whether the photographer wasn't mentioned because she didn't matter, or because she did.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry style fanfic #apol #tryst #halensee #a premontion of love

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calvarineharrod · 7 years

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#30DayWritingChallenge

I recently did the 30 day writing challenge. It made me think, ponder and dig deep into the different facets of my emotional and spiritual self. Sometimes you don’t really know yourself until you answer these questions. This my quest for soul search and I finally answered the questions that I was life-long scared to address.

Writing challenge:

Day 1: Things that make me happy: Braai Beautiful shoes Coke Zero My niece laughing Steers burger and chips Garden salad Deep conversations Troy, my dog Makeup trials The beach Drakensburg Mountains meditation Elevation church Podcasts Beautifully scented rooms

Day 2: Something that someone told me which I’ll never forget: I’m cheeky I have a beautiful soul. I have a big f*****g mouth and think I know too much.

Day 3: Pet peeves: Dirty feet Piled dishes in the sink Arrogant people Impatient drivers

Day 4: People who inspire me: Oprah - live your truth, be present in the moment, strive for excellence. Steven furtick: God can’t bless who you pretend to be. Be yourself. Lisa Bevere - God has uniquely made you and that is your greatest strength. Joyce Meyer - obedience is key to worshiping God. Forgive quickly.

Day 5: Places I want to visit: Cape Town Thailand Sydney India Zanzibar Bali

Day 6: Ways to win my heart: Kind-hearted Loves God Funny Courteous Ambitious

Day 7: Songs I love at the moment: Mercy shawn Mendes 24k Magic Kiss it better Rihanna Bad things camilla cabello Usher Crash Justin Bieber - cold water Ed sheeran - shape of you Closer - chain smokers This girl - Kungs vs cooking on three burners John legend - love me now

Day 8: Something I struggle with: Self-confidence, being single and procrastination.

Day 9: Words of wisdom that speak to me: Be the best version of yourself. Stay true to you and trust your instinct. You are uniquely loved and nothing can replace you. Don’t consume yourself with what others like or think. Don’t set deadlines for yourself. Be spontaneous. Your goals must be uniquely designed for you. What people think of you is none of your business. Be rational in stressful situations. Live life to the fullest and don’t wait for tomorrow to do something. Don’t attend every argument you’re invited to. Dornt allow every voice to have access to you. You are not a garbage truck. Don’t allow people to throw their toxic habits and gossip onto you. Be stingy with your time. Don’t procrastinate . Stay calm.

Day 10: What do I feel strongly about:

Women abuse - a man who has been put on a pedestal and not educated on how to treat a woman will spend his entire life mistreating one. Also when women don’t know their worth, men use reverse psychology to make women believe that no one will love them. So these girls stay in abusive relationships.

Modesty: boyfriends must not be given husband benefits. He must earn it. Likewise, girls clothe yourselves with dignity and respect. Don’t show off everything to gain attention. Be mindful of your behaviour. Don’t compromise and give men the bait to mistreat you. Give them something to respect. Being vulgar is not classy at all.

Christianity - I am entitled to my views about my relationship with God. I will not force it on anyone or dethrone it. I will defend it and not tolerate someone slandering the God that I worship.

Abortion - I believe in life after death and life before birth. Women behave loosely and then can’t deal with the consequences of being pregnant. Wait to get married before you want to have kids. Don’t go on a killing spree and abort your kids. Give them a chance at life.

Racism - how to test yourself to see if you’re racist? Ask yourself, will I accept my child marrying a person of another race. Will I feel comfortable with it. Will I be completely happy if my child had to marry a black, brown or even white person.

Day 11: Something your always think “what if” about: What if I don’t get married and never experience that feeling of loving someone and being loved.

Day 12: Blessings in my life: Family to love Job to work Church to freely worship. Shelter, Food, water and electricity Healthy body and mind

Day 13: What am I excited about? Honestly, nothing. I am looking forward to seeing what God is going to do through me. I know that he has great plans and nothing is impossible with God

Day 14: Favourite movies I’ll never get tired of watching: Blue streak White chicks The Notebook War Room The Breakup The devil wears Prada Dreamgirls Rush Hour Slum dog millionaire Why did I get married Mean girls Pitch perfect Notting Hill Love actually

Day 15: Bullet point your entire day: Woke up Brushed and bathed Attended work Came home Watched tv Ate Watched YouTube videos Read a few bible verses Went to bed

Day 17: Post your zodiac sign and whether it suits you. Pisces Don’t believe in it, don’t read it, don’t care.

Day 18: Discuss 30 facts about yourself: GO! Born in Chatsworth Youngest Granddaughter on both sides Received English award twice Love Indian food Jumped off Moses mabhida stadium Never travelled overseas Watched RHCP live Doesn’t eat mussels, crab or fish. Born again Christian Loves home decor and interior design Hates cats. Loves peaches and litchis Secretly fancy guys with nose rings. Want a tattoo but too scared to get one Have 6 piercings (for now) Hates clutch control. Doesn’t read fiction books at all. Got saved at 15. Baptised at 18 Loves any clothing in black Hates liquorice Doesn’t like bacon. Thinks Mohawks and Man-buns are stupid I’m Indian yet have never worn a sari. Had chronic acne and have to take meds for it. I have a strong instinct and good at figuring people out. All time Fave perfume is juicy couture All time Fave tv show is friends All time Fave singer is Mariah Carey. All time Fave hobby is reading Favourite season is Autumn Naturally I have very curly/frizzy hair. Day 19: Discuss your first love. I’ve never had one. Crushes, yes. Both never loved anyone to the point that it consumed my thoughts.

Day 20: Celebrity crushes: Hugh Jackman Ryan Gosling Morris Chestnut Dwayne Johnson David Beckham J. Cole Chris Hemsworth

Day 21: Lessons you want your children to learn from you: Love God Have compassion and unconditional love for yourself and people Be true to yourself and trust your gut feeling Be strong in who you are and defend yourself. Be loyal. Do things that your want to do, don’t compromise . Have good taste in music Be calm, meditate, don’t be stressed and overwhelmed. Know when to walk away. Don’t let people’s opinions define you. Make yourself happy, don’t live to make others happy.

Day 22: Put your music on shuffle and post 10 songs: Hillsong - From the inside out Emeli Sande - Clown Jagged Edge - I Gotta Be Israel Houghton & New Breed - More and More Kool & The Gang - Get down on it Kanye West - Father Stretch my hands (part 1) Hillsong - Heartbeats Ed Sheeran - Afire Love Anomaly - Lecrae Bruno Mars - When I was your man

Day 23: Write a letter to someone: A letter to my future husband:

I always wondered what you’d be like, your face, your eyes, your personality. To be totally honest, Over time, my type of the ideal guy has changed and I know for sure that the man I wanted at 15 is totally different from the man I want now, at 25. People ask me all the time, when am I gonna get married or find someone special? My response is always delayed and very nonchalant: I don’t know. Just so you know, I’m a wifey kinda girl. I love easily and love hard. I know that you are somewhere and I totally believe in Gods timing. By the way, I pray to God for you, about you and hope He leads you to me. I don’t know when, how and where, but I’m blindly writing this letter with the intention of finding you someday, my love. I’m loyal, trustworthy and find it irresistible when a guy is a gentleman. Just so you know, Chivalry is better than having a 6pack and your love for Jesus must be greater than your love for me.

In ending, I pray that our paths cross and that our love will be eternal. Sincerely, you no.1 lady.

Day 24: Write about a lesson you learnt the hard way: I appreciate peace especially since We grew up in an abusive household, not having much and rented out a little house., my dad has a drinking problem and parents used to fight, it was a tumultuous time. We had nothing worth much so I now know value things that I never had. I know what it’s like to work hard and own my stuff so I don’t depend on a guy or people to provide for me and hear hurtful words. I know not to have expectations in people because they will always disappoint, I’ve learnt that people will speak so fast behind your back and pretend to be loyal, I’ve learnt that work some colleagues will remain as that, work colleagues. You cannot try to change some one who doesn’t see a problem with their actions. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to outgrow friendships and relationships. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to walk away from conversations that make you feel awkward, pushes you to mean and degraded . To keep quiet and not retaliate towards every argument. Clowns will be clowns. I’ve learnt that girls are treated so much more differently than boys so we have to be fierce in our approach and not settle for being trophies, I’ve learnt to have compassion and tip extra. I’ve learnt that people treat you different and disrespect you when you are single. I’ve learnt that people are going through a lot and that’s usually the reason for their bad attitude and response towards life . I’ve learnt that God can only work with the amount of space your give him. I’ve learnt the meaning of surrender. I’ve learnt that God does speak, we just need to listen. I’ve learnt that you don’t have to please everyone and that’s ok. I’ve learnt that you must value and appreciate the people who love you for you.

Day 25: Think of a random word, search it on google and write something inspired by the 11th image: Repertoire. A quintet of musicians are playing brass instruments. I am a huge fan of jazz music so this random word perfectly describes the genre of music. This word also reminds me of Kendrick Lamar’s verse of No more parties in LA.

Day 26: An area in your life that you’d like to improve: Discipline. I wish That I could be more harder on myself to achieve more. I tend to be complacent because I’m very committed to my job, I have lots of responsibilities at home and can’t afford to live out certain dreams of what I want to do. I wish I didn’t procrastinate so much. I wish that I can be more disciplined in studying and not waiting for pressure to force me to learn. I wish that I was more disciplined with my eating habits. I wish I had more courage to enjoy life and take risks instead of caring what people think.

Day 27: Conversely, write about something that you’re doing well at: I think my mindset of thinking positively is great. I love the fact that I remain calm is very stressful situations. I tend not to get I overwhelmed and think rationally. I’m very hopeful and depend on miracles.

Day 28: Things that make you laugh: Memes posted by 9gag and Daquan. Kevin hart, Wanda Sykes Blame it on Kway DC young fly Alan Carr Angela and Marcus from “why did I get married” Charlemagne tha God Michael Blackson

Day 29: Goals for the next 30 days: Eat better Pray more often Get over my sympathy parties Read my bible more Relax a little Work harder and meet deadlines Drink more green tea Laugh more Treat myself better Stop trying to make others feel better at the expense of my sanity. Stop trying to not offend people and stifle my feelings. Realise my value Stop lowering my standards of doing things Watch less tv Write more Drive more Live in the moment, appreciate every moment Stay true to myself and be comfortable in my own skin Don’t feel uncomfortable to say no. Stand firm and defend myself. Be honest when asked my opinion. Less social media Mind my own business and help when asked Don’t meddle. Block negativity Don’t gossip about anyone Be cleaner and tidier Be more assertive in my approach Get disciplined enough to study Be consistent in writing a blog

Day 30: Highs and lows for the month: Highs- my birthday, opportunity to be more creative at work. Living a less stressed life. Being firm and happily single. Lows: stress at work, occasional low moments, which I am working on. Sudden bouts of sadness, fighting and arguing at home amongst family members. Loneliness is dangerous and make you do stupid, irresponsible things.

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