#its just that some1 im close to is like. idk i always feel like they steal people from me. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years

Note

(tw mentions of trauma, no details of it)hi i need help i think or at least info dump if u dont mind :(

currently i identify as pan/biromantic because i love everybody (leaving sexuality out for now bc i think thats a bit more complicated) but recently i started doubting. i dont know if its bc im traumatized and i just have a hard time getting close to people enough to feel love or if i just dont do it at all? recently some1 im in a qpr has confessed their (romantic?) love for me and i loved them the best i could but i dont think it was enough. idk if it was a love language thing or if im not capable of showing the love they were talking about. i dont think i romantically like them (thats a whole other issue) but like what if i dont actually feel romantic love at all? i love my friends and i believe in platonic love and sometimes the line is blurred (like qprs). for example i have one friend who i really like (platonic?) and for me it is sometimes blurred but idk if its just a deep platonic relationship (qpr???) or if its a romantic type but i am just too scared to think that im romantic to him bc hes my friend and i dont want to ruin what we have. bc dont friends still hold hands and stuff :( i think abt stuff like kissing but im also scared of intimacy (trauma tingz) or maybe thats an aro thing??

i want to love romantically i think but like what if it isnt what i think it is? i realized im not sure what that feels or looks like anymore all i know is what ive seen in the movies--aromantic people are not broken!!!!! i truly believe that :) - but i feel broken?? like theres something wrong with me and i cant feel the same love like others. i dont understand whats happening or why im feeling this is :( maybe im on the aro spectrum? or maybe this is something to work out w a professional? im just so confused

any help or thoughts is greatly appreciated 🥺🥺

please take ur time w this ask!! i know its kind of,, a lot i kinda info dumped on u :( im so confused about myself

So let’s break this apart a bit.

First of all a lot of people have trouble distinguishing what is romance or not, or romantic attraction or not. And it’s really hard to define and explain, even by people who know they’re experiencing it. And for some people the lines are blurred or they genuinely can’t tell at all. So it’s hard in general, even without trauma making it difficult.

If you’re interested, the faq for this blog goes into some detail about distinguishing romantic/platonic/alterous attraction. So that may be helpful for you. But honestly my biggest advice is to just check out aro forums/blogs/media etc and seeing if it’s relatable and taking your time, sometimes it needs to time to marinate before you can really tell you’re not experiencing an attraction, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

For the trauma, it can be really hard to separate out what’s trauma and what’s just how you’d have been anyways. And honestly, you don’t actually have to and that may be helpful. One way I like to look at it is if you match an experience or find a label useful, does it matter if there’s a cause? Also there’s always a cause, just is it the trauma specifically or some unique interaction of genes and other experiences that lead you to be this way? And the other thing if trauma is a factor could things change down the road? And the answer is maybe. But maybe someone else has a fluid orientation and it changes for them later too, it doesn’t make it less valid in the moment.

So yeah maybe the reason you think you could be aro and you’re having trouble connecting to romantic feelings/attraction is trauma. But it doesn’t mean if you think aro woud be a useful label for you that you can’t use it. And it doesn’t mean you can’t keep healing and exploring either, but it’s up to you to decide what feels right.

Remember that there is a different between feeling broken and being broken. And a lot of people when they’re first realising they could be aro feel broken, and it’s something a lot of people go through. It’s OK to have those feelings early on, but try and remember they’re feelings, and that doesn’t make them fact. Also one thing a lot of people have found have helped with those feelings is connecting to other aros and the aro community, and seeing aros who are cool people or happy or good with their identity can help a lot to feel less broken, and even if you decide you’re not aro in the end this can still be helpful and help take the pressure off when figuring out your label. That you can find happiness either way.

I can’t tell you how you should handle the situation with your qpp, except to say don’t be afraid to take the path that feels right for you. We live in a culture that really teaches a one way to happiness and to dealing with these situations, but there isn’t actually a wrong choice here, if you should try a romantic relationship or not. And honestly there’s risks either way, so it’s best to let your own feelings guide you. Sometimes we may make the wrong choice out of fear as well (and either choice could be that), but if that happens the important thing is you learn and you’re more ready next time a similar situation comes up.

Should you get help from a professional? You absolutely can, and some people do find that helpful. Make sure you find a therapist who is open minded about aromanticism and aro identities and won’t push you towards allonormativity. And remember you can switch therapists or fire a therapist at any time if they’re doing that. Identity is really complicated and personal too though, so I wouldn’t say it’s necessary, but they may be able to help you navigate the trauma side of it better. But it’s up to you what path you think is best for you.

This is a lot of text, but to sum up, take your time and explore, and slowly things should start to make more sense, but don’t rush it. And try not to panic or be afraid of whatever identity ends up feeling right for you in the end.

All the best and good luck!

#Anonymous #trauma cw

16 notes · View notes

pokefanbri · 4 years

Text

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

0 notes

jimiyoong · 7 years

Note

SO This might be a bit long but there's this guy ive been friends with for about 3 yrs now and we're rly rly close cos our clique is kind of like a ride-or-die tgt kind of group. but the two of us are esp close and he’s some1 i rly trust and we tease each other A LOT and we hang out a lot by ourselves to study/eat etc until one of my friends said we'd make a cute couple and another friend teased us for constantly going on ''dates'' when neither of us (1/6)

actually considered our hangouts to be like that i guess??? but recently, maybe since the beginning of the year?, ive been thinking “oh no do i like him” & i thiiiiink i lowkey have crush on him but the two of us spent so much of our time convincing everyone else that were just strictly Friends™, those feelings just…CONFUSE ME??? idk and then there was one time when we held hands while walking through a crowded mall (2/6)

and i thought “ok once we walk through this crowd he’ll let go” BUT HE DID N O T and we went shopping with our hands intertwined and just thinking about that is making me go GAAAAAAAAH and its funny because the two of us are those Folks™ who are single and no one can figure out WHY (not bragging but just context LOL) so we joke around with each other a lot about those woes and comment on each other’s tinder matches and constantly talk about pretty girls/guys we see irl (3/6)

so we’re giving each other this impression that we’re like family ??? who can talk about stuff openly yk ????? and im always telling him i love him to tease him (tho i dont mean it like im confessing to him more like how a friend would tell another friend that) and stufffffff and idk, but i feel like we give each other mixed signals???? ALSO we went for halloween horror with the rest of our clique (4/6)

and we were HOLDING HANDS SO MUCH (partly because we are both wimps and were terrified while walking through the haunted houses but ngl it made me happy gjfhgjhfj) and we went on one of the really big rollercoasters which im totally in love with but he’s terrified of and he wOULDNT LET GO OF MY HAND AND I WAS SCREAMING INTERNALLY while making fun of him externally with my friends jdgfkghjfhgkjhfdkgjhdkHHJKDHGKJSHRKGJH (5/6)

well ok im done ranting but my main dilemma here is whether to tell him and ruin our friendship (because what if he doesn’t like me back? things would get really awkward) or to stay silent and suffer while hoping to get over him eventually while wondering about the what ifs and could have beens sighs :’’’’’) (6/6)

jkkskkd wow. You two are so cutee tho. Idk, from what you said it looks like both of you didn’t react badly and he didn’t start acting weird after that. He actually started to hold your hands and all, maybe he also realised he likes he likes you after what your friends said and it’s his way of trying to somehow tell you something...? hjdsk it’s up to you if you want to tell him or not. But then again would you rather tell him and see the outcome, be it good or bad or never tell him and always wonder what could’ve been?? If you end up telling him and he doesn’t like you, yes there would probably be a change in your friendship but you two seem very close and I think you would somehow get over that after some time

#anon #replies

15 notes · View notes

kyohiba · 5 years

Text

Xue Yang’s 420 Punishing Reincarnations AU. Final Modern Setting

but hmmmmmm I Wonder,

in that final one,

yeeting patriarch how did they all come to meet

in another one of his reincarnation he gets pimples every week

LMAO SORRY

mmMMMMM good question

we said they meet a-qing last

ssyifpfff🌙 do we wanna be cheesy lmao

8h 8 hours ago yes, since shes a lot younger than them

as long the Angst Lives On,

the beginning of their meeting needs some angst

yeeting patriarch either song lan or xue yang meeting xiao xingchen, the beginning of their relationships...

OH MAYBE XUE YANG NEEDS HELP FOR WHATEVER REASON N XXC FINDS HIM, LIKE MAYBE HE FALLS N HURTS HIMSELF N XXC PUTS A BAND AID ON OR SOME SHIT

ssyifpfff🌙 as an allusion to when they meet in yi city uwu

8h 8 hours ago ssyifpfff🌙 so tht its familiar n xue yang gets the de javus

8h 8 hours ago OMG. PARALLELS

yeeting patriarch HELL YEA PLEASE

n then he can meet song lan while going to buy groceries idk

ssyifpfff🌙 maybe they fite for the last bag of avocados

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch what about xxc and song lan were childhood friends and had a fight and suddenly young song lan had to move out and never got to apologize to xxc but then years later he moved back and found xxc again

ssyifpfff🌙 as long as no one loses any eyes

8h 8 hours ago NO LOSING EYES

yeeting patriarch EVERYONE HAS THEIR EYES AND EYESIGHT

ssyifpfff🌙 NO HEAVY ANGST IN THIS HOUSE FOR THIS LIFETIME

8h 8 hours ago like. first xxc meets xue yang

who got hurt... uhh... how he couldve gotten hurt...

yeeting patriarch lmao he was skating and while doing a Sick Move TM he mf fell down and got wrecked

YES PLS LMAO

A SICK MOVE

ssyifpfff🌙 he got an arm cramp while dabbing

8h 8 hours ago innocent xxc was passing by at the time, saw everything and went to help xue yang. because his golden pure heart lives on

yeeting patriarch HE DABBED WHILE DOING THOSE SKATE FLIPS AND FELL DOWN ON HIS FACE

ssyifpfff🌙 HE BROKE HIS NECK HITTING THT WHOA

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch as xxc helped him, xue yang experiences the Doki

xxc takes him to his apartment to take care of his wounds

and after this incident, xue yang shows up a lot around xxc's place

yeeting patriarch (hes got a bit of a bad situation at home, hes always outside like a stray cat)

ssyifpfff🌙 hes like "should i take u to a hospital?" n xue yang i slike NO GO AWAY "then let me at least bandage u, my apartment is close by" xue yangs gay ass: oh worm?

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch YES

N THEY SLOWLY BECOME CASUAL FREIDNS THEN ..... SOMETHIN ELSE

ssyifpfff🌙 WE GOTTA GET THT DOMESTIC BLISS

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch BUT IT'S SLOW BURN

mayb xue yang is a runaway n is in need of a roomie

ssyifpfff🌙 YES SLOW BURN OBV

8h 8 hours ago remember: this time he gotta earn for xxc's affections

yes! xue yang its ur turn to cook

yeeting patriarch xxc is a bit wary of him for some reason although he helped and helps him out. his good heart cannot ignore it

ssyifpfff🌙 them going to buy groceries n xue yang being a Pro at bargaining for lower prices

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch ever so slowly, xiao xingchen at first really starts feeling he got himself to take care of a stray cat

like............ this happened in yi city tbh, xue yang did manage to make xxc laugh like no one else :(

ssyifpfff🌙 im sad now

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch PARALLELS... KEEP THEM COMING

ssyifpfff🌙 XXC HAS TO SEE XUE YANG HAS A GOOD HEART EVEN IF HE LOOKS LIKE A DELINQUENT

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch at some point though,

xue yang gets 100% kicked out his home

he has nowhere else to go

truth to be told, boi got no close friends

it's a rainy night

and xiao xingchen is coming home after uni (what is he studying)

in front of his place, in the rain, is xue yang

yeeting patriarch when he realizes xingchen came, xue yang looks up and tries to grin at xxc but he only manages a half smile

BABEYYY

HE SAID NO ANGST FOR HIM IN THIS LIFETIME ASDFGRFGVS

ssyifpfff🌙 i WANT xxc to be studyin at cheff school but i think med school would fit him better

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch MED SCHOOL FOR SURE

ssyifpfff🌙 n it would make sense as to why he has bandages n is good at putting thm on

8h 8 hours ago Y E S

xue yang currently a drop out for financial problems due his situation at home

we really ain't giving it easy for xue yang even in the reincarnation it should be finally Ok for him

yeeting patriarch Understandable

ssyifpfff🌙 we had to do it to him

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch at the sight of xue yang in the rain looking Miserable TM, xingchen's heart aches

at this point they been getting close, xue yang casually COINDICENTALLY going to the same skating place over n over even tho its actually not tht big or tht good for skating

ssyifpfff🌙 god we rly made him a skater boi

8h 8 hours ago ssyifpfff🌙 see ya later boi

8h 8 hours ago i cannot see it now

skater boi xue yang confirmed

anyway

xingchen let's xue yang stay over as xue yang kinda explains the situation

he promises he will find himself a place and wont get in the way

yeeting patriarch but... yknow how it is when the Living Together situation happens

in reality xue yang is Super smart, like genious smart like ash lynx smart, n xxc prob notices n encourages him to pursue a studyin path

xxc is a nerd in all his lifetimes

ssyifpfff🌙 tht way xue yang could get a scholarship n help

8h 8 hours ago yeeting patriarch OH NOOOOO GOT SLAPPED BY A THOUGHT THAT ENDED ME kinda nicely

ssyifpfff🌙 SLAP M

8h 8 hours ago as xingchen let's xue yang stay over, he gets xue yang a place to sleep in his living room. it's the only available place, his apartment isn't big. and in the morning, when xingchen wakes up, he finds xue yang sleeping kinda curled up like a cat, sleeping occupying a small place

yeeting patriarch also xue yang being Genius 💯 xingchen noticing it and encouraging him 💯💯💯

OH BABEY SAIDFGDSKFJBGS

a tiny stray cat

ssyifpfff🌙 its such a cheesy metaphor in fics BUT I LOVE ITTT

7h 7 hours ago as time goes by,

they grow closer

yeeting patriarch xue yang starts even helping xingchen with his studies although this isnt an area he likes nor has much interest

yeeting patriarch they go on growing close

xingchen starts paying more attention to some things about xue yang. that he carries a sadness within him

masked by his delinquent attitude

xingchen starts lowering his walls

yeeting patriarch (at this point xue yang is already deep in love but yknow tsun boy)

tsun boy skater boy

asdfka, xue yang going to xxcs campus n waiting around for his classes to end

"no i just like the sandwiches from the cafeteria here" "but ur broke" "IM HERE TO SMELL THEM"

ssyifpfff🌙 n xxc buys him the dam sandwich n they sit to eat together T0T

7h 7 hours ago hoes trying to approach xue yang as he waits for xingchen, since xue yang is Good Looking. But he... hisses at other people

hes only... non feral around xingchen

what would xue yang study tho 🤔

yeeting patriarch before he had to drop out and then when he managed to go back

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm well he did do all tht w the sticks on wen ning and song lan, maybe... neuroscience

or maybe he goes feral n studies art idk

ssyifpfff🌙 he would be good at anything really

7h 7 hours ago he does look like an art hoe somehow

and Yup. boi could do Anything

let's settle this later

yeeting patriarch as for now...

the domestic bliss continues

before they realize, they're searching for a bit bigger apartment. with at the least two rooms

(No Homo phase)

two bedrooms*

they manage to find one, share the living costs

domestic bliss lives on

THEN, ONE DAY...

at xingchen's uni

yeeting patriarch a new student arrives

yeeting patriarch 😏

he moved back to the city

xingchen and song lan immediately recognized each other

yeeting patriarch with some tension

ssyifpfff🌙 (no homo phase) LMAO

7h 7 hours ago yeeting patriarch xue yang, the bastard cat, goes wait for xingchen at his uni. grinning showing his fangs and all. unaware

xue yang sees xingchen's silhouette and approaches

then he noticed song lan

hes hit by some unknown feeling. similar the one he had when he first meet xingchen

he, clever bastard, notices the tension in the sir between the two hotties

yeeting patriarch hides close by, as xxc and sl didnt notice when he was approaching

hes a bit far and cant hear well their convo but picks a few words here and there

yeeting patriarch "it's been so long", "wanted to see you again", "i am sorry"

and hes there like "uuuuh am i bein cucked" but deep down he gets a feeling too

he prob feels he wants to go meet thm but shouldnt

thru their rship he prob feels a lot of guilt, specially seein thm together, n the worst part is tht he cant understand Why he feels tht guilt

he might think he should be around xxc if he has finally found some1, like he doenst wanna be in the way

all the while bein a chaotic bastard w sl ofc

ssyifpfff🌙 n song lan actually finds him fun to be around heh

7h 7 hours ago THE CONFLICTED FEELINGS... the feelings the doesnt understand...

chaotic ass xy starts Bottling Up it all

hes been getting Messy

as he sees xxc and sl getting closer and closer, getting along better and better

he feels he should Leave them. that unsettling mysterious guilty feeling is there all the time

yeeting patriarch although he enjoys being with the two so much

yeeting patriarch one day xy reaches his limit. his mind, his heart are a mess. hes always been on the emotionally constipated side, but now it was different and overwhelming

he was growing a bit distant the past few weeks. both xxc and sl noticed although xy tried to mask it, grinning around, as always

yeeting patriarch but his gaze would give him in sometimes

one day, as xxc comes home, he is greeted by silence. a dark and cold apartment. by that hour, xy was already at home. worry grew in xxc's heart

he called for xy, but no answers came

yeeting patriarch ANNND it's almost 02:30 am i need sleep Badly

yeeting patriarch meme ya Later. dream of this au. hmu with new thoughts. nyeehaw

ssyifpfff🌙 ASSADK XUE YANG dam u u done it again.

7h 7 hours ago ssyifpfff🌙 he didint even leave a note, but xxc knows him too well n finds him fast n asks wtf is up (not like tht obv) n xue yang cant explain properly but he basically confesses tht hes grateful for xxc opening his home to basically a stranger but he understands him n song lan crealry missed each other n he shouldnt get in the way

7h 7 hours ago ssyifpfff🌙 n xxc is like "but song lan n i,,,, we both love u so much"

7h 7 hours ago n song lan comes by (xxc called him so he could help w finding the cat) n hes like "heh u ran away bc ur jealous?" "IM NOT u idiot im leaving the way open for ur dumb ass" "n what about ur way? is it open too?" (IDK WHY im imagining song lan as a suave guy whn in reality hes prob rly dense n awkwards too but let me dream)

ssyifpfff🌙 xue yang is pikachu stunned.jpg

7h 7 hours ago yeeting patriarch I HAD TO READ THOSE BEFORE DREAMLAND i will reply properly when i Rise

ssyifpfff🌙 have a good dream nyari may the xue chara dev visit u in ur sleep

7h 6 hours ago yeeting patriarch IVE RISEN

SUAVE GUY SONG LAN IS HONESTLY TO LIVE FOR xy is a tsun, xxc kinda slow so somebody in this house gotta do the work

BUT IMAGINE

after he says that and xue yang goes pikachu_agape.jpg

xingchen on the side blushes furiously

yeeting patriarch then after a "..." 3 secs, song lan becomes a blushy mess

yeeting patriarch xxc, tenderly, grabs one of xy hands and tells him "let's go home"

xy feels like a bit part of that heavy feeling has been lifted from him as xxc holds into his hand and sl gazes softly at him. THEN, A RARE MOMENT HAPPENS... chaotic disaster xy, doesnt give his fangy grin, but a small smile

yeeting patriarch the three of them go to their home

after this, as some time goes by, before they realize, song lan has moved in with them. they bought a bigger bed

(No Homo phase kicked into outer space)

Song lan n xy just constantly embarrassing themselves n each other fskdhdjd

3h 3 hours ago now we gotta reach the a-qing point of the au

xxc gets a thirdhand embarrassment with them sometimes

i really, really like to think xue yang's sleeping habits are a bit like a cats

even the "more docile and cuddly when sleeping" part

SINCE WE MADE HIM SHORTER ON THIS, and i think both xxc and sl are 185cm... oh the bliss

yeeting patriarch AND OF COURSE HIS SWEET TOTH REMAINS

HES THE TINY ONE

IN A 3 PPL RSHIP WHOSE THE LITTLE SPOON??? IDK HOW BUT ITS HIM

ssyifpfff🌙 he’s the lettuce of the sandwich

3h 3 hours ago yeeting patriarch "are u a big or little spoon, xue yang?" xy: im a KNIFE xxc & sl, at the same time: hes the little spoon

ssyifpfff🌙 ASFGJSHFIUFM

3h 3 hours ago yeeting patriarch OMGGHSJKSKSK HOL P

ssyifpfff🌙 “I am a dagger under ur pillow” “ok”

3h 3 hours ago yeeting patriarch xxc keeping candies with him to give xy :')

ssyifpfff🌙 OFC

3h 3 hours ago xy says fuck it in this au and becomes a Baker

yeeting patriarch sl... what is he

ssyifpfff🌙 OOOH SO HE CAN MAKE DESSERTS!!!! YAS

3h 3 hours ago yeeting patriarch architect would be cool

Or designer engineer

ssyifpfff🌙 Or a VET

3h 3 hours ago OMG A VET

yeeting patriarch YES

ssyifpfff🌙 N he constantly compares xy w the kittens he attends

3h 3 hours ago YESSSSSSSSS

yeeting patriarch WE GOT IT, WE GOT IT ALL

“Today there was a black cat tht wouldn’t let me pick it up, reminded me of u” the next day “today there was a kitten tht wouldn t stop licking my hand, reminded me of u”

ssyifpfff🌙 “Today the cat bit me, reminded me of u”

3h 3 hours ago xxc - doctor sl - vet

SUIT THEM SO WELL

and baker xy... a pleasant surprise

he makes the best sweet stuff but hes a disaster cooking savory food. sweets only man

also T0T in the future when they get a-qing,

xy uses his baker ways to approach her

yeeting patriarch yknow like he did back then with the candies but this time... not devilishly

0 notes

muckity-mucks-blog · 7 years

Note

all of them. suffer

making this a read more bc jacks the worst

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

jack

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

my bros ig

4. Are you easy to get along with?

idk!! sometimes!

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

elmer probs would. jack would probs make fun of me. or hed b drunker than me

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

kinda gay 1s and girl soccer players

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

jesus i hope so

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my wife alex morgan

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

nope!

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

spot i think

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

no were @ the park

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

mr brightside, r u mine, say you like me, uhhhhhh idk what else?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

fuckin love it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

nah

15. What good thing happened this summer?

buncha stuff. its been a rly good summer

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no elmers icky (yes pls)

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yeah obviously

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

uhh no? srry madeline from 4th grade

19. Do you like bubble baths?

no rly. i dont like sitting still 4 that long

20. Do you like your neighbors?

thyere ok

21. What are you bad habits?

I Have Never Done Anything Wrong In My Life Ever

22. Where would you like to travel?

space. also europe

23. Do you have trust issues?

sometimes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

talking 2 the bfs

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

uhh idrk. im tryna bulk up some

26. What do you do when you wake up?

bathroom. food.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

uh idrc

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My Boys

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

probably someday

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

no (ive just been told that it is but its rly not)

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

alex morgan + whoever she wants

33. Spell your name with your chin.

aqkbherrt

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

soccer

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

god idk

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

currently tbh! it happens

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

some shitty joke

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

bigfoot

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

uh idrk

40. What do you want to do after high school?

be a mechanic

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

nope

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

im overthinking

43. Do you smile at strangers?

not rly

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE SPACE SPACE

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

having to pee or eat

46. What are you paranoid about?

idk i kinda have abandonment issues

47. Have you ever been high?

yup

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yup

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

nah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

nah im good!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

seeing colors seems p cool

53. Favourite makeup brand?

i dont have 1

54. Favourite store?

again. idk

55. Favourite blog?

the bfs and also crypticaesthetic

56. Favourite colour?

black

57. Favourite food?

pizza

58. Last thing you ate?

a bagel

59. First thing you ate this morning?

…a bagel

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

uh i dont think so?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

ive been suspended loads of times. and ig i was kinda expelled? for having bad grades

62. Been arrested? For what?

yup. mostly shoplifting and vandalism. oops

63. Ever been in love?

currently

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

it was @ a movie theater and it was not good

65. Are you hungry right now?

nah but i could eat

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

my tumblr friends r my real friends

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

elmer jack n spot

71. Craving something? What?

pizza

72. What colour are your towels?

grey i think? idk

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

a bunch

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

nah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

ive got a few. like… 3 maybe

75. Favourite animal?

dogs

76. What colour is your underwear?

black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

depends on the day but rocky road

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white

80. What colour pants?

black

81. Favourite tv show?

uhhh x files is rly cool. also like ghost hunters n shit like that

82. Favourite movie?

the fast and the furious

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls wtf

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

janice

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

the butt

87. First person you talked to today?

elmer n spot

88. Last person you talked to today?

uh idk im w ppl now so…….

89. Name a person you hate?

my dad

90. Name a person you love?

my mom

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

always

92. In a fight with someone?

eh not actively

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

So Many

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 4? 5?

95. Last movie you watched?

trolls

96. Favourite actress?

anna kendrick. actually WAIT NO. medda

97. Favourite actor?

chris pratt maybe

98. Do you tan a lot?

hahahahahahahhahaha no

99. Have any pets?

no :(((

100. How are you feeling?

gr8!!!!!!!!

101. Do you type fast?

im ok

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

eh. not rly but i do wish some stuff didnt happen

103. Can you spell well?

sometimes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

y u p

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yeah! theyre fun!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i hope not!

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yup

108. What should you be doing?

probs paying attention 2 my friends

109. Is something irritating you right now?

not 2 bad

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

god yes

111. Do you have trust issues?

already answered this

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

jack

113. What was your childhood nickname?

albie

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yeah ofc

115. Do you play the Wii?

i like how this is phrased. like “do u play guitar? do u play flute? do u play wii?” but yeah i play wii

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

fuck yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Y E S HOLY SHIT

119. Favourite book?

football and the halftime prince

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

nah. but i dont see 2 good n the dark

121. Are you mean?

not rly.

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

hahahah no

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nah. but u can def think some1s hot @ 1st sight

125. Do you believe in true love?

yeah

126. Are you currently bored?

nope!

127. What makes you happy?

My Boys, my family, soccer, cryptids

128. Would you change your name?

nah my names stupid but i can work w it

129. What your zodiac sign?

libra

130. Do you like subway?

the sandwiches or the train system? either way yeah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

…….i dont have a best friend of the opposite sex

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

spot

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

ALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHTALRIGHT

134. Can you count to one million?

i could but i wont

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

god. 2 many 2 count

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

6′

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have straight hair

139. Brunette or Blonde?

idc but i prefer darker hair

140. Summer or Winter?

winter

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

october

143. Are you a vegetarian?

def not

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

the darker the better

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee. tea is garbo

146. Was today a good day?

yeah!!

147. Mars or Snickers?

snicks

148. What’s your favourite quote?

uh………. idk i dont rly have 1

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

y e s

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

there r no books around me

#fuck u jack #santafe1899

2 notes · View notes

bbysamu · 3 years

Note

IM NOT SURE IF I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED THE ASK BUTTON A WHILE AGO LMAO SO IF U HV DOUBLE (kinda) SIMILAR ASKS PLS DO NOTIFY ME BC IM EMBARASSED 🤧

BUT ANW hi pretty im back 🥰 im sorry if im way too late for ur qotd but i put a lot of energy into thinking and writing this so i hope ur excitement is worth it 😣 since im v v flattered that u always enjoy some crumbs of my imagination. so here they are again <3

i often talk in my sleep esp when im having too much thoughts before bed and what i say during that times doesnt make any sense. its embarassing tbh bc sometimes when i ask my friend to call me so i wouldnt miss a class they claimed i said weird things before ending the call— which ofc i never remember a single thing and i lowkey dont wanna know what i said🧍🏻‍♀️BUT id like to think that bakugō loves it SKSKSK 😙 since i always think hes a light sleeper, unless hes super tired, so when he hears weird noises (me sleep talking) he absolutely would get annoyed but when he turns around and sees me talking nonsense with pouty lips but eyes shut closed, i think he would blush and completely flustered for a sec. then he would talk to me IN THE MOST SOFTIE WAY BC MF KNOWS IM A HEAVY SLEEPER AND ILL NEVER GOING TO WITNESS THIS SIDE OF HIM WHILE BEING CONSCIOUS (read: not sleeping) until i stop talking and return to my dreamland. lastly he would kiss my forehead and say "dumbass" with a lovestruck look on his face before getting back to sleep.

for the next one— i dont think its cute, its pretty impolite at some point or for some ppl— i talk loudly when i want to fart so ppl wouldnt hear the sound of my fart SKJDLEMDN 🥺 (im literally just disgracing myself at this point) but to my defense the sound of my fart itself isnt usually loud which why this method almost always goes well. BUT I THINK MEGUMI WOULD NOTICE IT SINCE DAY 0 BC BB IS TRAINED TO BE SENSTIVE FOR ANY TYPE OF SITUATION 😫 OMG AND ITS MOST LIKELY THAT HIS DOG NOTICED IT FIRST AND SOMEWHAT TOLD HIM THE FIRST TIME I TRIED MY METHOD ON OUR FIRST DATE 🤡 its high k embarassing at first but then hes used to it to the point that he would just giggle and say i dont need to talk loudly then ask one of his animals to make a noise instead when im giving him the i-want-to-fart-so-bad look. yeah ofc this method works much better.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST. tbh this used to be one of my biggest insecurity until i dont care anymore 🤧 ive various type of laughter LIKE IDK HOW THAT HAPPENED FROM TIME TO TIME— ITS HONESTLY UNCONTROLLABLE 🙂 i could laugh like an evil annoying soap drama auntie type, i could laugh so loud to the point that i open my whole mouth, i could laugh normally (v rare), i could do the wheezing type of laugh, THE SNORT ONE (also rare), the no sound type featuring my chaotic claps or i accidentally hit some1 next to me or just anything around me in the process— AND THE PROBLEM IS i never remember to hide my face or at least close my mouth so my face wouldnt look so terribly out of control— but thankfully my friends are v used to each of my laughter type and they would laugh along saying my laugh is contagious :') AND I THINK MATTSUN WOULD CLAIM THAT ITS EMBARASSING AND ANNOYING AT FIRST like he would pinch the bridge of his nose (prob bc i slap him a lot while laughing my a$$ off) but he never failed to laugh along and then he grew to like it from time to time AND THE BEST PART IS I GET THE FEELING THAT HIS LAUGHTER WOULD SLOWLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY SOUND LIKE MINE LOL ofc his laughter wouldnt mimic all my types but at least he would do the wheezing type or the silent one featuring the clapping or the slapping— its due to revenge at first but then hes used to it so he often sit beside iwa when the seijoh 4 hangs out— he said its ok to hit iwa bc his arm couldnt sense anything other than his workout equipments (he used to sit beside makki and makki's arm would be painfully red in the end of their hangout session) OH AND MAKKI WOULD SAY ME AND MATTSUN LOOK LIKE TWIN SEALS IN THE ZOO— laughing while clapping and we would just high five when makki or just anyone say that.

u know they love u when they accept the weirdest side of u 😷💖

— ☃️

if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times and I will continue to say it. I love your replies to my questions always. It's always so much fun to read and thank you for putting in so much details for me as well💕

I was smiling and laughing the whole time while I was reading this. Bakugo would adore you talking in your sleep. Honestly, it's probably a source of entertainment for him, especially on nights when he cannot sleep.

YOUR MEGUMI ONE HAS MY LAUGHING SO FRICKEN HARD. That reminds me of a tiktok or smth I saw. Where someone tried to time their fart and covering it with a textbook. Except they timed it wrong, so they dropped the heavy textbook and everyone looked at him, then he farted really loudly 😂 but baby boy Megumi is so sweet

HIGH FIVE FOR DIVERSE LAUGHTERS! I literally laugh so loud sometimes, I'm like a full blown "HAH" just out of the blue and scare everyone around me. But Mattsun loves it and you know what? sometimes he might secretly record you just to watch the video when he's missing you extra or having a bad day. You two are the happy couple of Seijoh, literally lighting up everyone's days with your laughters.

#pretty thoughts #darling ☃️

3 notes · View notes