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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist.

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right??

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless......

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :(((( )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho)

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

#literally if you got through this i just respect you #this is mainly just for the people who sent me an ask in the past few mask #i hope your ask is in here :)#sorry for everybody else #ask #bataranswers #this took me 4 hours to do so i hope youre happy #also sidenote #does anybody know the latin translation for 'to become'#bc i just used future of 'esse' but it could be a different verb #who cares tho latin is a dead language #big congratulations to everyone who translates my sentence #here's a bonus sentence: tuam matrem futueram

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dirt-mccracken · 6 years

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answer all the numbers

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ladysophiebeckett · 7 years

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the gel thing really happened to me.

i was stage managing the college’s dance concert. and if you’ve ever done a light design for a dance concert, you know its not about lighting your face, it’s about lighting the body.

well the local college didnt have a huge budget so no fancy instruments will gels already in them. between each dance, there’d have to be gel changes--but in order to do gel changes you need to have all the gels that are going to be used--organized and in frames and be aware of which dances use the same gels and which gels need to be framed (bc you dont have enough frames bc no money).

I had ASM’d a dance concert before but it had been awhile and i forgot how i did my gels last time. So i spent an afternoon collecting the frames and the gels and borrowing other gels fm the theater dept. but i was kind of stressed in figuring out how to best organize everything. my own ASM was in class and couldn’t help me at all. I had late afternoon class and it a night off, so the most i did was divide the gels and frames and set the other side of the stage’s gel table. and then i went to class, followed by home.

the next day, i show up at noon to face my work. and what do i find? my gel table is organized. not perfect. but organized. the gels are in frames. the table is set up for Act 1, with the exception a few stacks which were set up for the final Act 2 dance. but it looked similar to my handiwork. i was so happy, i thought it was my ASM who did it.

I saw her an hour later, and i asked her if she done it . She said no.

Well then who? I asked around, all the dance techs said no. I even asked the theater dept. tech director and he said no.

A general rule in theater is that you dont touch other people’s work.

I thought i was being pranked on. Who would do such a nice for me? Who?

What was even weirder tho, was that my ASM’s gel table was exactly as I left it the night before. Why would my ASM fix my table not hers? (that was her argument)

Okay. Whatever. Let it go right? NO.

We had a full run rehearsal that night. With gels and everything. It was 5 to 10pm and we have to leave at 10, thats the rule. There’s no time to reorganize the gels for Act1, so the tables stay in Act 2 order.

I show up the next day morning and my table is Act 1 Gel order. And its perfect.

My ASM’s isnt.

Do I let it go? No. I talk about it incessantly the entire time. I ask around. ‘Did you touch my gel table?’ ‘No Alma, why would I do that??’ Why would anyone? Again, the rule is enforced that you’re not supposed to touch anybody’s work. And who would voluntarily organize the gel table??? why??

We have rehearsal again and we open the next night. The tables are left in Act 2 order. Call is 5:30 for dancers but for higher ups and myself, its like 4:30pm.

I show up at the same time as my ASM, the light designer (who’s also running the lights and has keys to the building) and one other tech. It’s just the four of us showing up together.

the LD unlocks the scene shop and we have turn on all the main lights bc its dim. And then we have to turn on the stage’s main lights...the four of us go to the main stage, I turn on the main light and my gel table is in Act 1 order.

And ive had it. I tell the three of them--’look this shit is weird. srsly who’s doing it???’ And the thing is, no one could have. Us entering the theater is the first time its been opened since the night before.

They all deny it. And the next thing we hear are sounds coming fm the catwalk--like wooden creaking. Like someone’s up there but NO ONE’S THERE.

I can’t deny it anymore--the three of us are in agreement this is it---this is the theater ghost. My ASM is like ‘No. it’s not’. A non believer. And at that point i was adamant that it had to be. There was no other explanation. It’s 3 against 4 and there’s not time to argue. We do the show, we leave again. The gels table are in Act 2 again. I’ve already forgotten about the ghost. Im tired and i wanna go to bed.

Before I continue with the exciting conclusion---I believe in God and I also believe in ghosts. I think there are spirits and things alike that are never truly gone. I dont think you can believe in one and not the other. But thats just me. I also believe we have the power to unintentionally move the spirits--awake them--without us knowing.

There two Act 1 dances that went one after the other that maybe shouldnt have been in that order. And its not something i thought about until later. One student dance was dark, they wore black clothes. and a couple wore white clothes. the theme--you can guess--was angels being corrupted in some way. the light design for that used reds and ambers. the make up was dark. the music had certain lyrics about fighting and darkness.

The dance that was after this one---used soft ambers--they wanted white light. big bright light. (Very easy gel change). the costumes were an orangey red. the music was a song that sounded kind of tribal--lots drum sounds, lots of rhythm--the song was about fighting back, it was about love and belief, and the choreography matched the lyrics--very organized, very clean. everybody was very in sync in their movements. it was one my favorite dances. (like i wish i had a copy to show you)

So anyway, (I think you can see where this is going)--It’s our second show. We all show up at the same time (minus my ASM, so three of us). Me, the LD, and a tech.

We get to my side of the stage. And yet again, My gel table is not how i left it the night before. It’s in perfect Act 1 order.

I continue to be flabbergasted, I insist that this is weird. I insist that its the ghost. The feeling of a ghost doing my work---I dont like it. Im suspicious. Ghosts dont do things for free. Dont ask me how I know that. Its just a feeling. Nothing is ever free. What does this ghost even want??? Why? Why anything???

Who and why are they doing this?? Is a thing I verbally said. And have been saying the past 3 days.

And then we hear it.

It happened within maybe 30 seconds. But it felt longer bc I think we stopped breathing.

There’s only 3 of us there.

And we all hear it.

The sound chains rattling from the ground floor.

And then the sound of what i can only describe of two deep BOOMS clapping against each other from above--literally above. The main house lights weren’t on yet, so the catwalk and the house and stage are still dark. You couldnt see where the sound was coming from.

The chains rattled back. And sound of BOOMS clapped back immediately (and louder).

And then nothing.

But three people looking up and freaked the fuck out.

And my ASM arrived like a minute later.

She didnt believe us.

We did the show and we leave again, for the night. I left the table the same. In Act 2 gel formation. I show up the next day, last day of the show. And guess what?

The table was the same as I left it.

Do I think the good and evil spirits were fighting over my soul? Well, it doesn’t help that my name is ‘Alma’ which literally translates to ‘Soul’ in english. And you may question why didnt i take a photograph after each night? i did. But it was after the BOOM sound incident. I did it too late. And it was always my table. Never my ASM’s--who happened to be the only skeptic. The one who didn’t believe. Hmm convenient.

Anyway, that is my theater ghost story. It was my last show at the college. I have not been there since.

Make of this story what you will.

#long post #theater

8 notes · View notes

frop · 7 years

Note

do all of them you mother fucker

not Once but Twice u have done this to m

Star Platinum – Your thoughts on the stars? i always did like then when i was younger but now they just make me think of jojo so now i especially like them

Magician’s Red – Do you know any magic tricks? no but im gonna say what u said and i can bend my fingers waay way farther than most people

Hermit Purple – Show a photo of yourself! I HAVENT taken a selfie in forever i’ll do one later

Silver Chariot (Requiem) – How much sleep do you need on average? i would love a good 10+ but i only get that much on saturday now boo but on average its like 6-7

The Fool – Tell us a joke! Is your refrigerator running? Because i’m gonna suck your dick

The World - A place you want to visit? canada like you would not believe

Crazy Diamond – What do you treasure the most? hmmmmmmm my friendships with my friends

The Hand – Do you like your hands? nnnot particularly bc i spent a good portion of my life and still do sometimes where i bit my nails til they bleed so they dont look as nice as i’d like them to be when they grow out

Echoes – Your favourite sound? The world’s time stop sound, but not jotaro’s version, dio’s specifically

Heaven’s Door – Share a secret! my parents’ divorce has made me scared for the future of my own relationships to the point where i can see myself not ever wanting to be in a relationship ever again bc it would be easier than my partner getting tired of me or hating me. on top of the fact that i’m almost exactly like my father and my mom’s ex fiance in every single emotional department which is what caused their divorce/breakup respectively in the first place and that leads me to believe that in the long run i am Romantically Unlovable

Killer Queen – How would you like to die? preferably quick and painless

Bad Company – What kind of character trades do you dislike? any character that is like ‘waahh wah no one understands me bc i enjoy [’highly advanced’ niche series/book/etc] and they all read [popular series/book/etc] like whatever the fuck his name was in aku no hana, it got so obnoxious i had to drop it lmao

Red Hot Chili Pepper – Can you handle spicy food? cat’s out of the bag guys im actually a Fake Mexican bc i only like mild stuff and hot chips

The Lock – Anything you feel guilty about right now? ya but thats for another day

Love Deluxe – Are you secretly in love with someone right now? its absolutely no secret that i am in love with jonathan joestar

Pearl Jam – Your signature dish? i can make some mean ass rice apparently

Achtung Baby – Do you want kids? nnnope no thanks never ever i have my cat and thats enough for me

Harvest – Do you pick up coins in from the street? no bc u dont know where thats been and money is super dirty already

Cinderella – Which part of your body do you like the most? dang, i guess my thighs? but lately i’ve been a lot easier on myself abt my stomach and how soft it is

Atom Heart Father – How is your relationship with your father? pretty good bc we’re really alike in temperament too but sometimes it gets pretty awkward bc he can never see me as anything but his little baby daughter who Never Grows Up

Enigma – What is puzzling you currently? when is davidpro gonna drop the part 5 teaser

Earth Wind and Fire – What’s the best classical element? i personally have always liked fire

Stray Cat – Cats or dogs? i love both but man im more suited for cats

Gold Experience – A precious experience you have not shared with your followers? oh man over this summer my dad his gf and me and my sis when on a trip to her dad’s place in this really small town that was like 3 hours away from our city and it was so nice and quiet and peaceful and i felt so clean and happy there, we were only there for a couple days but ever since i’ve really been wanting to go back

Sticky Fingers – Zippers or buttons? zippers are so much faster but they get caught sometimes so Really, pros and cons of each

Moody Blues – A song that makes you sad? OOO man i was gonna say epitaph bc Of Course but as i was writing this down melancholy man by moody blues came up on this playlist and now im thinkin abt abba and crying

Sex Pistols – Have you ever shot a gun or riffle? no im tiny and a weenie and i would probably die from the recoil

Aerosmith – Are you afraid of flights? ive never been on one but i am scared of heights so i cant imagine thats any better

Purple Haze – What makes you really angry? it used to be not being listened to but now i just let it happen bc Why bother but now its more whenever my mom makes a big deal out of simple mistakes of waiters/waitresses or when shes being obviously racist

Spice Girl – Your favourite spice? idk what its called but theres this one i like to put on fruit before i eat it to make it Spicy

King Crimson – Is it possible to predict the future? man idk my mom says yea but who knows

Black Sabbath – How easily do you trust people? like stupidly easy

Man in the Mirror – Do you like looking into the mirror? nope lol im ugl. ALSO bc i have a bigger than average fear of reflective stuff in general bc what if i see somethign behind me u kno,,,,

Beach Boy – Have you ever been fishing? nope! the one time my dad went that i knew abt i was in mexico

The Grateful Dead – What do you want to be remembered for? honestly, anything else that being the ‘way too nice one’ or the doormat

White Album – Your favourite CD? aaaaa i dont have one i dont really listen to albums

Talking Head – Are you a good liar? i guess ? i can keep a pretty straight face but its harder to lie to someone i actually know really well bc they can probably tell what my tics are

Baby Face – Your thought on babies? theyre cute but i would greatly prefer to never have any

Metallica – Do you like listening to metal? yea

Green Day – Ideal way to spend a day off? sleep, Sleep, stream with friends and lay in bed

Oasis – Best place for a holiday? hhhhh anyplace that relaxes u tbh

Stone Free – Are you a indoor or outdoor person? i n d o o r i dont like bugs

Kiss – Who would you like to kiss or get a kiss from? jonathan joest

Burning Down the House – Ever destroyed something and then regretted it? nah, once again im a weenie and im too worried abt consequences to ever do smth like that

Foo Fighters – Your favourite drink? god damn i fucking love raspberry iced tea

Diverdown – Your thoughts on diving? the ocean fills me with the fear of god. no thanks

C-Moon – What would you do for your friend’s sake? put myself in bodly harm

MadeinHeaven – What do you believe happens after you died? nothing tbh you just end up in a grave or urn or wherever u wanted to be put

Weather Report – Your favourite weather? man i looove love stormy weather

Whitesnake – Your thoughts on snakes/reptiles? i love them theyre all gorgeous and beautiful

Tusk – Tea or coffee? coffee

Ball Breaker – Your favourite ball game? to play? its basket ball but to watch baseball

Oh! Lonesome Me – Do you feel lonely right now? no not right now but im sure it’ll happen soon

Scary Monsters – Your favourite dinosaur? i love velociraptors and also triceratops !!

Cream Starter – Do you usually wear make up? nope and if i do its only ever lipstick

Catch the Rainbow – Your favourite colour in the rainbow? blue and green!!

Ticket to Ride – What was the last ticket you bought for? i didnt buy it but the last one i had was for the rogue one like. 2 weeks ago

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap – Do you believe in the multiverse? i dont think abt it too often but sure

In a Silent Way – Do you enjoy complete silence? yes!! besides some music, i cant concentrate otherwise

Soft & Wet – Shower or bath? shower bc its easier but i havent taken a bath in forever

Paisley Park – How good are you with reading maps/directions? Terrible God Awful

Nut King Call – How good are you at assembling/constructing things like Ikea furniture? hmm it depends if i have the manual for it and if i have time to really think on it and im not in a rush or anything

Paper Moon King – Can you do any origami? nope

King Nothing – Your favourite smell? i really like the smell of cinnamon

BornThisWay – A strange habit you have? i crack my fingers all the damn time and i like to take off the little plastic circle off of soda bottles and chew on it

Les Feulies – Your favourite plant? oh damn hmm i like lavenders

Fun Fun Fun – Something you really enjoy doing? man. i could watch jojo a million times over and i’d never get bored of it

California King Bed – What size is your bed? currently i sleep in a queen size bc my mom and sis and i share a bed bc we only had one room in our old apartment but now that we moved im sure i’ll be kicked off into a twin soon enough

JESUS christ ok its almost midnight i hope ur happy you mother fuckre

#asks #i didnt think it would take this long oh my fodgtrgwrgf #filmgold

3 notes · View notes

profoundgardenertree-blog · 6 years

Text

Hallie Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 41821

"Hallie Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 41821

Hallie Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 41821

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Need help finding affordable health insurance for a 1 year old baby boy in Nebraksa or Iowa?

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Is there some kind of insurance I can buy for my pit bull while renting a home/apt?

I'm not looking for housing, but I know how difficult it is to get while owning a dog over 25 lbs and a pit bull mix to boot! Is there a type of insurance that I can get that will over-ride or cover whatever it is in the commerical insurance that makes people reject me for my dog breed? I have read somewhere there might be, but I don't know what it is and what was the experience with using it? I'm wondering if it's something I should get now and have a history of having or just get when I need it.""

Anybody ever heard of [email protected].. i received a quote for auto ins from this site .?

received a quote from lindsays general insurance agency..a really good deal.

""Allstate motorcycle insurance, am I covered?""

I am going to purchase a motorcycle soon but unfortunately for my age, insurance is much too high. It is about $5000 a year since I am 18 years old. What I want to know is if my father can put the bike in his name and have it fully covered but with me as the rider, will it still be covered? If I were to get in a crash would the bike still be covered even though the bike is under his name and not mine? Am i covered or will I be forced to pay $5000 a year so I can legally ride the bike?""

Insurance change help?

i am with geico and i want to go to allstate do i surrender my plates to switch insurance or do i keep the plates and call they and they will transfer me

Car Insurance?

I am just trying to get some quotes on maybe what my car insurance would be. I don't have the kind of car that I want yet but I was just trying to get an estimate and check and see what it would be around.. Can I get any quotes without the Vin Number?

How much will car insurance cost me?

I'm an 18 year old male. My GPA in high school was 3.4. No criminal record. I'm going to be driving my mom's Honda Accord 2005. She only got into 2-3 accidents ever. She has Farmers Insurance. They never respond when my parents ask them how much insurance would cost me so I figured I should ask someone here for an estimate.

Which life insurance company is the best.?

Which life insurance company is the best?

How much will my car insurance be?

I'm a 17 year old male and have recently passed my driving test, how much will my car insurance most likely be if I buy a second hand car for about 2000. Thanks.""

Umbrella insurance?

instant quotes for the stand alone umbrella insurance in california

I have a polish worker were can i find cheap car insurance for him?

Is a subaru wrx a good car for an 18 year old?

I'm 18 and I'm thinking about buying a wrx. It has 150000 miles with maintenance history and was run on high octane gas... seems to be mechanically taken care of. It needs a new paint job but I don't mind the project. Is it hard to drive this car on 5spd for people who have minimum manual experience? (i can drive a manual but I haven't had much practice) I plan on taking care of it and running it easy. How much does insurance increase if there's a lein in the car? Is it difficult to transfer leins? Car has 6600 left on lein and its a 2003.

Car insurance 15 year old with 4.0 gpa?

my son is going to turn 15 i wanted to know what it would cost and what options i have

Can I drive my parents' car without having my name added to the insurance list in the same city?

I would but it would probably increase the rate. So, can I just carry their insurance papers along with my license?""

A question about health insurance...?

Newly married and never had to pay for health insurance on my own before. What is a good price, through work, for health insurance benefits?""

Insurance Cost for a 1966 mustang convertible in mint condition?

I'm curious how much, on average, would insurance cost for an 18 year old male driving a 1966 mustang convertible in mint condition be? And if you could explain why too that'd be awesome thanks! :)""

Motorcycle insurance?

i have seen things that say motorcycle insurance is ALOT more then car insurance and things that say car inurance is ALOT more then motorcycle insurance and i dont really know if any one will be able to give me accurate answer to my question but i just want an idea of how much the insurance would be for an 18 year old, with a Honda Rebel, in south texas ((or if there is some where i can find out, that would help to))""

Were can you get cheap car insurance?

i am 17 years old. i have ford kA and i am trying to look for cheap insurance cn any one help? xx

How can your medical history be discovered?

when signing a form to release your medical records, how are they able to obtain those since there is no computer system that links all your records and if you seek treatment without utilizing insurance is it possible for anyone to actually find out unless they know the specific doctor you go to?""

How does the insurance know who's driving the car?

My dad want to buy me a car I'm 16 got my liscence a month ago. My uncle wants to sell him a 2008 Mitsubishi lancer evo. He wants to put in the insurance that I'm driving my moms car and she's driving the evo. But I'm going be the driver. Well they be able to tell I'm the driver? And we'll insurance be cheaper that way?

I need a way to better word this topic sentence for my essay.?

im trying to give reasons on what insurance companies can do to make birth control affordable. here's the topic sentence i have: A way birth control can be affordable is if insurance companies help cover a portion or the entire bill.

Car accident/insurance.?

Okay, three days ago I got into a car accident, I drive an SUV and the other party drives a Toyota Camry. Save for a few scratches on the bumper, my car is fine, the other woman on the other hand says she can't open her door and the front right light and part of the bumper is damaged. I told her I would cover the damages if we could keep this from the insurance companies. She agreed, but is now saying she is in pain . No one called the cops and she was at fault, I CAN NOT afford to have an accident on my rec as I'm only 18, what to do? I said I'd pay as my car is fine and as a thanks for staying mum. Now shes called her insurance company and claims she got an estimate of $3,600 for the car and medical.""

Which company offers the cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old?

Im 17 and i need insurance and i wanted to know the cheapest way

Car insurance went DOWN after accident?

I was involved in a one vehicle accident and had a failure to control and hit a guardrail. I called today to get my insurance back and its lower ?? I thought it would go up? Also I ...show more

Adding fiancee to insurance?

How far before the wedding should I start the paperwork to put my fiancee on my insurance?

How much would an impreza wrx sti insurance cost at the age of a 21 year old citizen?

Hi, I am 21 years old and I'm looking forward to buy a 04-05 wrx sti. I live in Minnesota Saint Paul all my life and never had any tickets or any bad driving record every since I droved. I have at least a year of driving history. How much would my insurance going be if this was the case? Could someone give me at least a estimate price? -thank you in advance.""

Hallie Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 41821

Complete details of different insurances in USA?

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whats the cheapest car insurance for teens

""Just got 3 tickets, how much does insurance rise?""

I was driving 79(the cop said this, i realy was not going this fast) in a 50 and got a ticket for that. I have a provisional license(I am 17) and had a total of 2 passengers who were not supposed to be in the car(including myself there were 4 people in the car). I also did not have the red sticker on my car. I live in New Jersey. This is my first offense. How much will my insurance rise? I get 4 points for the speeding, and i do not believe any others because points are for moving violations. 220$ for speeding, I believe 100$ for the red sticker, and I have no idea for the extra two people. They are minors, and no i did not get reckless driving.""

Auto Insurance forcing me on parents car insurance?

I got my g2 but my parents auto insurance company is forcing me to pay insurance on my moms car even though I will never use it. This is in a city where insurance is really expensive and them doing this will cause financial hardship and I can barely pay it. Is there some law allowing them to do this?

How much is the car insurance for a 18 year old boy with a dodge viper ACR 09 model?

ow much would i be paying a year with full coverage. Its a dodge viper ACR 09 model. Im an 18 year old male. Its a $112,000 car.""

How and what is cheap auto insurance?

Health Insurance in Minnesota?

I will be losing my employer provided health insurance in a few months. I have been looking at MN. Care. I am within their income guidelines, however, they also want me to list all ...show more""

What's a good place in california for insurance?

Trying to get a car insurance quote?

I'm trying to get a car insurance quote online and they ask some questions i don't know what they mean like: 1-anti-brakes? (what this means) 2-defensive driver course? (what this means)

Will my insurance go up if i wrecked in a ice storm?

there was an extremely bad road conditions in my area on dec 15, and i hit a mailbox coming home, i was only going 15 MPH but the rear end of my car went out of control and hit a mailbox, will my insrance premium go up if i turn it into insurance? also will i get into any trouble since i hit a mailbox if i turn it in?""

Personal Medical Insurance?

Why is medical insurance is a dream of riches or expensive commodity in U.S.A ? For example, Denmark, Canada, and other countries it is affordable and free to the people who contribute to the development of the country? (In Denmark for example if you can speak Danish, and work, you get free Insurance, like such in another countries). Why can't we make it affordable to everyone? What pro-active thoughts, comments, actions, suggestions you have for in this regard? Thank you.""

Does the monthly payment on a lease vehicle include taxes and car insurance?

I am looking to lease a car but I am on a budget. Ive been looking online at some people that want to sell or transfer their lease because I would only want it short term. Since lease cars are usually new insurance would be too much for me to pay, so I was wondering if a monthly lease payment includes it, and taxes.""

AAA Insurance In California & Speeding Tickets?

Does AAA insurance allow you to go to traffic school so your insurance rates don't go up? it's my first time offense

""Wow, car insurance is like 3-4 times more expensive than car payments.?""

I was looking to lease a new lexus is 250 which would cost me 369 a month but i went to get a quote from geico, it said that the insurance would cost about 1600 a month. I think that is pretty insane considering you could finance a porshe 911 for that much money. I am 20 and got my license last summer. is there a time period when the cost of insurance goes down?""

Can I get health insurance for only my baby?

I just need a little guidance right now so I know what to do when my child is born. I'm due at the end of next June. I want to get health insurance for my baby because I'm not trying to pay an arm and a leg every time I take her to the doctor. However, I only need the insurance for the baby. I'm covered until I'm 25, even after I give birth, under my mother's insurance. (I'm 22 now.) Her insurance is through her job, she works for the State of Colorado. I already checked into adding the baby under her plan, but my mom would either have to be my child's legal guardian or adopt it. I don't want or need her to do that. I just keep hearing different things about being able to get it's own policy. Can anyone tell me if this is possible??""

Can I get fire/theft only car insurance in UK?

I currently pay around 1200 per year insurance on my new car. Recent job change though mean I only use it maybe 3 or 4 times a month, and with one day comprehensive insurance available from dayinsure.com just 11, thought it might save me some money just to insure the car the days I use it... IF theft insurance is cheap enough. When not in use the car is in my garage so not going to cause any third party damage to anyone..""

Van insurance young driver?

im 20 years old, been driving for 3 years with 1 year no claims, im a qualified tiler but i cant find van insurance cheaper than 6 grand anywhere its a joke, so i cant work cause i need a van wtf can i do""

Do I need to have insurance before buying a car?

I canceled my car insurance a year ago, because I didn't have a car. Now I am ready to buy one again. Do I need to have insurance BEFORE buying the car, so I can drive it home? Or do I wait until after wards so I know what type of car to insure. I will be buying the car from the state auto auction if that makes a difference.""

Anyone ever in a car accident & break a bone? Wrist? How much did the insurance compnay pay you?

I broke my scaphoid bone in my wrist due to a car accident. I would like to be prepared when it comes down to the settlement. I was wondering if anyone else had the same thing happen. I am right handed and it's my left wrist. the accident was not my fault. other party's company is accepting fault too.

How much of a difference will a Mercedes cost to insure and register than a BMW?

I have a 2001 BMMW 330i and I was planning to hand it down to my little sister (who just turned 17 and got her license) Although, she wants a 2000 or 2001 Mercedes C230 or C240. My parents can afford this for her... but I was wondering how much more her parts will cost and how much her insurance and registration will cost her. Please no one who tells us that we should get a cheaper car.. it's not going to happen. Thanks though.""

How much is car insurance usually?

thinking about buying my first car soon and im just trying to figure out my financial situation. i know the price can vary but an estimate on how much car insurance is would be nice. thanks

So many health insurence companys .I need to find a good health insurence I would like your help for a good co

health insurence and dental,with eye glass too .I want my own instade of through a company as a employee""

What insurance would take her?

Wife's best friend is a natural-born U.S. citizen and California resident for decades. She is 49 years old, single mother of a teenager, and has no health insurance. She has a rather large (presumably benign) tumor in her belly that makes her look 4 months pregnant. According to her research, it's a cystic fibrosis, a single lump at or near her reproductive organs. It's been growing for years and has not been diagnosed. In fact, she hasn't seen a doctor since about 1999. She knows that she'll need surgery and wants to get health insurance, but obviously has a pre-existing condition. There are high risk pools for that, but she's unsure how to proceed. Should she go to the doctor, get the tumor diagnosed and then try to get insurance? Should she try to get insurance, yet list her undiagnosed condition on the application in order to be denied? She doesn't make much money, but she knows there's no way around this. Any advice on how to proceed? Thank you.""

At fault driver had no insurance?

Me and my Daughter was riding my custom built harley sat. and a car made an illegal u turn in front of us and we hit his car on the side. He does not have insurance but I do. Can I use my auto insurance which is a different company form my bike insurance to cover the cost of my bike and other injuries that we suffered.? Should I hold off on getting a lawyer? I really do not want them to get my money that we are due..

""Im a new G2 driver, and im thinking on getting second driver insurance on my moms car.?""

how much do u think it will add onto the insurance already?, its a 2003 ford focus""

Hallie Kentucky Cheap car insurance quotes zip 41821

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-new-woman-driver-adrian-rivas/"

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6 royal weddings from history that blow Harry and Meghan's out of the water

Sure, Harry and Meghan's wedding looks fun, but when you compare it to what came before it's basically just tea and biscuits in a rec-centre.

SEE ALSO: The acting roles of Meghan Markle before her royal engagement

History is littered with royal weddings full of violence, opulence, drunkenness and the occasional naked dude. Here for your enjoyment are just a few examples.

1. Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou, "the original Harry and Meg" (1445)

Medieval royal weddings really pulled out all the stops, and historian Dr James Clark described the marriage of Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou to Mashable as "the original medieval Harry and Meg." This is because Clark thinks Margaret was the first royal bride to be the subject of public discussion, which — while commonplace today — was unusual 500 years ago.

"She was described in almost tabloid terms," said Clark. Apparently she was called "a good-looking and well-developed girl," and "mature and ripe" despite being 23, and "a most handsome woman, although somewhat dark." Clark reads "somewhat dark" as code for "foreign-looking."

Like Meghan, Margaret was a foreign bride, but in 1445 this had much more significance. To the people of medieval Britain, the French princess was a symbol of peace after "100 years of on-off wars with the French" according to Clark. So it was a pretty big deal.

A royal wedding was a way more public affair back in the day. The public were able to mingle with the royal retinue, and were even allowed to touch them — clapping the couple on the back to wish them all the best.

To top it off, red and white wine replaced the city's drinking water to celebrate the occasion, actually spurting out of public fountains. A stark contrast from Harry and Meghan's wedding where guests were told to bring their own lunch.

2. Attila the Hun dies of a nosebleed at his own wedding (453 AD)

Attila the Hun, a.k.a. "The Scourge of God," a.k.a. the guy who makes Khal Drogo look like a member of Greenpeace, was a pretty fearsome guy. Leader of the nomadic Hun armies, he razed whole cities to the ground. But in the end he was taken down not in battle or by a Drogo-style duel, but by a simple nosebleed.

Attila's death, like a lot of history, is shrouded in a healthy dose of mystery. There are a few different versions of it, but they all agree that the warlord died on his wedding night. Some accounts say he died of a nosebleed and choked on his own blood, others that he was murdered, or that his bout of heavy drinking led to internal bleeding.

Remind you of anyone?

3. Catherine of Aragon and Prince Arthur go full extra (1501)

Catherine of Aragon was famous for being the first wife of Henry "Commitmentphobe" Tudor, but first she was married to Henry's older brother, Prince Arthur.

They married when Arthur was just 15, but he died shortly after. After Arthur's death she was wed to Henry. Imagine if William died and Harry just swooped in and married Kate. Scandalous stuff, but in the 16th century it was just the practical thing to do.

For the actual ceremony Catherine's route to the church was paved with blue carpet, and she and young Henry wore matching outfits of silver embroidered with gold roses, while Prince Arthur wore pure white satin. The west door of the church also sported a good old fashioned wine fountain. Because why fix what ain't broke?

Catherine of Aragon, queen of the party.

Image: National Portrait Gallery London/wikimedia commons

Young Henry even led the wedding procession unaccompanied through London, aged only ten-years-old. You certainly wouldn't catch Prince George doing that today, but to be fair he is only four.

Catherine's wedding to Arthur was a spectacle to put the Met Gala to shame. Catherine arrived at the gates of the city riding a mule, and large swathes of London were transformed into an allegorical procession in which Catherine was cast as a star ascending into the heavens.

4. Napoleon and Josephine's ridiculously low-key wedding (1796)

Napoleon Bonaparte and his wife Josephine may have been regular citizens when they got married, but they ended up being Emperor and Empress of France, so they're getting a name-check.

According to Professor Martyn Bennett, Napoleon's wedding to Josephine was actually set up by Josephine's lover Paul Barras who wanted to get rid of her.

"Josephine had been [Barras'] mistress and effectively he was passing her on," Bennett told Mashable. While Bonaparte was besotted with her, for Josephine it was very much a marriage of convenience. The pair both lied about their age in the run up, both claiming to be 28 even though Napoleon was actually 26 and Josephine 32.

"Sorry babe, I was busy planning the invasion of Italy."

Image: national gallery of art/wikimedia commons

Being infatuated with his bride didn't stop Napoleon turning up a whole three hours late and shabbily dressed to his own wedding. "The wedding was supposed to happen at 7PM," said Bennett, "but he turned up at about ten." Apparently he'd been planning the invasion of Italy and lost track of the time.

The two were (eventually) married in a candle-lit room on the Rue D'Antin, with a just few witnesses and the mayor present. Least glam imperial wedding ever.

5. The Emperor Augustus and Livia a.k.a. the ultimate power couple (36 BC)

The first emperor of Rome Augustus (born Octavian) had a few marriages before settling down with Livia.

The pair were both married when they met, and Livia was heavily pregnant. This didn't stop them, however. Augustus promptly ditched his wife Scribonia, and Livia's husband was persuaded (or perhaps forced) to divorce her. The same husband-turned-baby-daddy gave her away at her wedding to Augustus. Super amicable break-up, right? Or maybe just a super awkward wedding ceremony...

Not much more is known about the celebrations themselves, but it seems they featured naked dudes just hanging out, because according to Roman chronicler Cassius Dio, "one of the prattling boys, such as the women keep about them for their amusement, naked as a rule," made an ill-judged joke about Livia's previous husband being in attendance. Learn to read the room, naked guy.

Livia has often been portrayed as political force of nature, not to mention a poisoner. Famous historian Robert Graves depicted her as having poisoned her husband Augustus after 52 years of marriage to ensure her son Tiberius became Emperor, but historians like Matthew Dennison dismiss this view of her as the result of sexist propaganda.

While we will never know for certain whether she poisoned people, what is certain is that Livia's descendents — not Augustus' — became Emperors, and was turned into an actual goddess after her death. There's little denying, she was one powerful lady.

6. George IV gets married while totally wasted (1795)

Prince George was the son of King George III, who you may remember from such hits as the American War of Independence, or more recently the musical Hamilton.

Prince George went on to become King George IV, and he had a reputation as a hedonist and a tearaway. This is perhaps epitomised by his wedding to his cousin Princess Caroline of Brunswick.

"On the day itself, George turned up to the wedding extremely drunk," Dr Kate Lister, curator of the Whores of Yore Twitter account, told Mashable. "He spent most of his wedding night passed out on the floor."

Classy. Here's hoping our own Prince George doesn't get any ideas. Once again, he is only four.

WATCH: The acting roles of Meghan Markle before her royal engagement

#_author:Isobel Hamilton #_uuid:5b8c7d95-45b6-3f13-b217-713f01428f53 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_revsp:news.mashable

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