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fantasmafanta · 11 months

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chipspeech rambles so i dont explode

hi this is prolly gonna be a long post that makes no sense srry i just need to brainrot dump. but most important thing if ur not weird and you like chipspeech PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dm me here so i can give you my discord or instagram where i am actually active more ahhhhhh.

ok anyway blue robots woohoo. these little bastards have been stuck in my brain for like a month now and its just gotten worse. the cool thing about chipspeech is it like doesnt entirely go with the rest of the vocal synth/vocaloid fanbase but rather than being its own seperate things its like this neat little extension of it in like multiple ways. it not only is just a really cool software that tried a lot of new cool things that we dont really see with like vocaloid and synthv and stuff but it also kinda shows the history of how we got to the point of modern vocal synth software in a cool way! even if you dont dive into it like i have you still get the basic “oh well voder was made in like 1939 and it had to be operated by hand how cool” and like through chipspeech you kinda get to see the evolution of how we got to where we are now and i think that thats really neat.

but then if youre a nerd like me you get to have a ton of fun diving into all of the history and cool old tech stuff. liking chipspeech has made me find a new interest in old computers/tech/software/videogames do i fully understand how they work? hell no! do i love looking at them and having them explained to me by some dude on youtube? hell yeah!! and like its just so cool to go in and research the machines/softwares that inspired the chipspeech bots because even though its difficult sometimes you get to see these advances made and how each one differs from each other in how it was made, how it was operated, its function, etc. and thats SO. FREAKING. AWESOME. like dude have you seen the video of one of the tests for the votrax?? (the one that bert gotrax is based on) if you havent basically it was made so that people with disabilities so they couldnt talk could have conversations over the phone. they tested it by trying to order a pizza using only the software. it took like 3 tries before someone took them seriously and they got the pizza. and the moment they were like “yeah deliver that to the msu computer center” i got so excited cuz that just felt so badass!! like put yourself in their shoes, its 1974, you’re testing your new speech program, and it finally worked. a room full of people, a camera, a news broadcast (iirc), theyre all watching you struggle to order this pizza and then you finally do it and get to tell them to deliver it at the lab you just proved your intelligence to and fehjvddsujfs i cant explain my thinking but DUDE its just so cooooooolllllll!!!!!!!

but like yeah i need to rant cuz in one of my lovely friend’s words i need to “GET THESE QUEERS OUT OF MY BRAIN!!” (a silly thing my irl said) also like i love the way the voices sound. like yeah sometimes i have no clue what theyre saying but thats not the point of chipspeech!! like vosim has such a nice buzzy voice and like dee no matter their range just sounds so.... great. i dont even know how to describe it it just makes my brain sooooo happy. like sam to most people would be like static weird... idk man but i loooove the staticky sounds theyre just so neat. but its so hard to find nice chipspeech covers/songs. luckily im starting to find how to discover chipspeech stuff but its still so difficult :(

and like fanart and general fan content toooooo how do i find it?? i think the answer is i dont but that makes me sad. cuz the twitters are no longer active and its never been very popular so it doesnt seem like we get much. and literally the only discord server for chipspeech is run by... not-so-great (from what ive seen/heard) people in the fanbase. even if the main accusations arent true it still seems to be a safe space for proshippers which makes me feel icky sooo. help.

anyway im not re-reading through this so like sorry its so long and makes no sense i just need to get chipspeech thoughts out. if you like it PLEASE TALK TO ME!!!! im losing my mind ahhh

#chipspeech #fantasmarants

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gontagokuhara · 2 months

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2019 vs. 2024 hot takes exactly 0 people asked for (now with opinions on the dr3 characters!)

and because im mentally ill im elaborating below the cut because at least i’m cognizant of how few people share this illness with me ❤️

first of all. some categories were edited (+added). we shall address them all in due time 🫶 but just for posterity before we begin: top of the category is the one that best exemplifies the category title and it moves in descending order; so as gonta is my #1 my GOAT, pedo udg guy is the one i want to kill himself most. understandable? ok 🫶

2019 top 5-tier is slightly unfortunately named but other than that changes in 2024 are somewhat minimal. as is perhaps obvious if you have seen even one (1) danganronpa post from me: gonta is My character hes mine spike chunsoft dont get him like i do. AND i love sdr2. nagito is my very very close second i am so incredibly mentally ill about him Oh if you all could see the hundreds of thousands of words ive written about that fucking guy. also true of hajime. still true of sonia (<3 i love u girlie) and fuyuhiko but to a lesser extent (i have written so much sdr2. its a problem. we persist). they are characters we see a lot of and in that same vein give SO much to build upon in further character exploration. and boy do i do that. holds the five of them In my arms i love you babygirls

S tier excellents again prove i am an sdr2 enjoyer. i think it also showcases how much i REALLY love the v3 characters while absolutely hating the plot they were stuck in. kaede and shuuichi are SOOOO special 2 me u dont understand…….im going to have so many thoughts and be So mad when i replay v3. kokichi is VERY interesting and my thoughts on him are endless (hi evan) and there is soooo much there even if i also have to fundamentally hate him somewhat because of 3-4. also a wide array of sdr2 characters are here of course……on my most recent replay i have come to really appreciate imposter (better sexier byakuya ❤️) and ibuki . and i was kind of surprised how high some of the dr1 characters are (besides chihiro who has consistently been my dr1 #1) but sorry dr3 made me love the makoto/kyouko/aoi trio sooooo bad.

lots of variety in the A tier which are all characters i enjoy, they just arent my Favorite barbie dolls to mash around u know. so many very unique personalities like mahiru, angie, tenko, and ryoma that weren’t explored as well as possible in canon, so its harder for me to personally invest in them. junko is iconic and she gets worse as the games go on but god. dr1 was craaaaaazy so she and mukuro have to be given props for that. im ignoring e-girl junko and v3 entirely <3 also again in watching dr3 while replaying sdr2 i really came to appreciate natsumi and her dynamic with hajime :[ rip girl i miss u. also also i liked koichi way more than expected LOL it must just be cuz hes hot but his death was sick as fuck and i liked his thruline with jin (the weird flirting with kyouko aside……)

B tier! bit of a mixed bag, from characters i like very begrudgingly (byakuya, sorry, i latched onto him as my rich terrible boyfriend when first playing years ago and the fondness kinda stuck 💔) to ones i do genuinely like, but they were not given much to do in canon (ryota) or their arcs fell flat (kirumi). also here are dr3 + udg characters i didnt mind or were just somewhat nice to makoto (also chisa, who is very interesting but i very much disliked how her character ended off) so shout out them (they are all dead) (or orphaned like monaca and kotoko).

C tier is basically my ‘i barely remember’ tier sry……i did not finish udg so i have so very few opinions on most of the characters. chihiro aoi and yasuhiro’s parents are chill tho shout out. not much to say tho

and now we enter the hater zone with D tier……look. some of these are hot takes and some arent. as much as i love sdr2 i just cannot ever make myself like hiyoko and teruteru. theyre kinda fucked from the getgo theyre never treated as especially serious characters but their glaring flaws are so bad i cant bring myself to care when the rest of the cast is SO GOOD. i also do not like kazuichi LMFAO as a sonia ride or die just as i cannot look past teruteru’s sexual harassment NEITHER CAN I LOOK PAST KAZUICHI’S ‼️‼️ yes i think he can be fixed but sonia needs a restraining order + when she was hoping he was the ch4 killer i was cheering. everyone else this category are just mid ass dr1 characters and the dr3 characters i found actively annoying. also monokuma. hes cringe but iconic and doesnt fit anywhere else

not much to be said about F tier. i did not finish udg but i know enough that i need haiji towa to die. i need the asshole who beat up hajime to die. i need the asshole who tried to kill makoto to die. i need that stupid old fuck heading the future foundation to die. the monokubs are fucking annoying. the only like Real characters here are 1) miu because she is written terribly and her cool talent is wasted, treats gonta like shit, isnt funny, is just nasty perv bait and her most meaningful contribution is to be fodder for the 2nd worse written case in the game. and as for NUMBER ONE WORST: tsumugi mostly just symbolizes my hatred for v3’s ending because outside of her role in 3-6 she has very little impact on the story before her reveal. also got my girlies kaede and rantarou killed God i hate the end of thisgame

and finally: oh my poor sweet bastards. why would they do this to you. these characters are either underutilized in a way that is DEVASTATING (izuru 💔) treated like shit as joke characters their potential is totally squandered by dogshit writing (everyone else — sdr2 you could have been so much better WHY!!!!!!). mikan and korekiyo’s motives are dogshit and make the ch3 double murder so much weaker. nekomaru and akane are played as jokes essentially their entire screentime and akane is especially egregious because shes a survivor among characters like FUYUHIKO!!! like SONIA!!! like HAJIME!!!!!!!!! AND YOU SQUANDER HER LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! kaito suffers from really flip-floppy writing and he sucks a lot of the time Especially pre-localization but ive adopted him a little bit in writing him and i love my construction of him in my brain.

ok thats it. im so mentally ill. give me ur thoughts or do the tierlist urself. now pointy objects lockdown time 👍

#dr #meow

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sapphicwhxre · 3 years

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tiny pansy rant, cut short so it’s *hopefully* not too long:

i. wanted. to. see. her. change! and in my opinion the reason she never got the chance was because jkr used her character to make fun of people she disliked :/

pretty much all the other noteable slytherins had some sort of redemption arc,, and yeah they’re still mostly problematic people but they got chances: snape, draco, narcissa, regulus, slughorn, leta and technically andromeda? you get the point i just—

like miss ma’am decided to make pansy,, the like slytherin stereotype? and have her want to betray harry? she was seventeen ffs, not bellatrix lestrange. she was in the middle of a war? in my personal opinion i don’t think that she wanted to hand harry over out of cruelty like. it’s possible? but maybe she was just scared? also don’t we know that pansy was terrified at the thought of like. voldemort coming to hogwarts? again: everyone expects all of the children in harry potter to be these selfless brave individuals,, they’re kids :( yes ik it’s ya fantasy but cmon. they were supposed to be stressed about the N.E.W.T exams not the upheaval of their society?

and don’t get me wrong i know that she was. not a good person. she was a bitchy teenage bully who was taught hateful views. but i wanted to see her change even a little– even draco marries someone who presumably teaches him how to treat people equally? like. there was so much room for change: she was a prefect, she was capable of some kindness seeing as she liked draco, or alternatively, we could’ve seen her break away from draco and potentially stop hating harry/all his friends quite so much or develop her own opinions. or maybe her group of friends that she used for validation throughout her school years was uprooted during the war and she had to learn that independency? or her pointing out harry could’ve been turned into trying to be selfless, like she thought they’d be safe that way, or she returned later fighting with reinforcements to show she was on Hogwarts’ side. jkr is always like "well they technically came back to fight, if you squint » but that’s not enough. also? let’s say we did get a glimpse of her during the actual battle: there could’ve been anything, the smallest scene, that showed some sort of support or reconciliation or something between her and hermione, considering how hermione was often pansy’s target. everybody wants to see forgiveness between draco and harry because of minor events/details (i dislike drarry but that’s besides the point), but imagine what could’ve changed with some semblance of apology or assistance from pansy to hermione. there were so many chances for r*wling to give her a smallest redemption

but instead we got her characterized as evil and a stupid, cowardly traitor. she the only person we ever see her care for marries her friends younger sister. she’s the written depiction of jkr’s bitterness and her arc is jkr’s vengeance.

also, another reason that i’m so mad she got nothing is because of the whole slytherin=evil thing. she’s made into a stereotype of a “slytherin”— cruel, selfish, shallow, ugly, and asinine. (also i could rant about slytherin forever, but can we just mention that jkr consistently refers to slytherins as physically ugly and just how fucked up that is? i– wtf). but anyway: to give pansy a chance to change is to give the slytherin house a chance to change its reputation. trying to justify that the slytherin house got its redemption because of the actions of ppl like snape or regulus, etc isn’t possible. because all of those “slytherin heroes” were described again and again as being “different from all the other slytherins”. they set themselves apart by being decent. they weren’t normal slytherins, no, they were set apart, they were brave and smart and kind— not evil. there’s no redemption to be found there. i wish jkr would just fucking say that being sorted into slytherin was being made into a villain. she dodged around it with rhetorical questions and pointing out how not All of them are bad,, and then will go on to mock the other slytherins and talk about how the heroes were Not Like The Other Snakes... again: there’s no redemption of slytherin as a house, as a quality, as a concept there. it’s just the redemption of an individual.

in pansy, however, we could’ve found so much more. like i said, she’s The Average Slytherin: not a hero, not a villain like voldemort. she’s made out to be a depiction of the typical slytherin student, one without a “destiny”, so to speak. and so to give her the chance, to see her change, to have her redefine herself? that would be a starting point for restoring slytherin as a whole (obviously not the best way, and the real best thing to do would be not to make an entire house be the bad guys in the first place, but–) to have someone who’s the figurehead of slytherin (like actually a figurehead,, girl is a even a prefect) show remorse and growth gives the entire house the seed of redemption. it would mean that after over a thousand years there could be peace between the houses. obviously not the only factor in reconciliation but still so important.

and not to just continue to heap on my own issues with it, but look. i know that there are so many other ways to introduce “mundane” antagonists without making them a symbol of anything. pansy could’ve been a bitch without representing slytherin. also pansy doesn’t have to break character and become kind for amends to be made. they don’t even have to be fully made, just started. but jkr chose to:

a.) go with bullying as a minor antagonistic element

b.) create and develop a character around that theme

c.) make this character only based on her own negative personal experiences

d.) turn that character into a representation of a much larger group of people

e.) deny that character any final moment that could begin to make amends for her actions and instead, chooses to make her “defining” moment an act of evil and cowardice

f.) either neglects the character or chooses plot points that would humiliate the character in all the glimpses of the future we are shown (ex. how dracos marriage is)

g.) openly mocks and insults the character repeatedly and never directly comes out and proves she didn’t write slytherins as evil

h.) to the best of my knowledge, ignores that pansy personifing slytherin, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and then characterizing both as “bad” and not giving them a chance to grow, is a summary of her thoughts on slytherin ls and is a possible interpretation of the text (i mean her opinions are already TRASH)

i. ignores the consequences of this or the possible effect it has on her entire fanbase and doesn’t seek to remedy it

but yeah, jkr, it was such a good idea to base a character off of your loathesone memories, take your anger out on her, and that choose to have that character partially represent a large percentage of your fanbase. thank you sooooo much. i really appreciate it!

summary:

I. Pansy— deserved an opportunity to have some character development. everyone else’s mistakes get overlooked to some degree save hers. had so many places to draw inspiration/opportunity from. could’ve progressed other ideas in the book and the analysis of her house while still remaining a “dislikable” character

II. Writing— from a “technical?” aspect, Pansy is underdeveloped and stagnant, used for personal reasons instead of as a plot device. perpetuates the slytherin=bad idea via a sloppy and repetitive characterization and emblem. there are ways around this that weren’t used.

III. I have no qualifications to be saying any of this lmao. Am I reading to much into it, knowing that Rowling tends to be shitty with writing details? Am I being dramatic and repetitive? probably!

IV. Fuck JKR (for everything. she’s an awful person)

anyways this has been: my mini-rant on pansy and her analysis,,, and i am terribly sorry,, i offer my apologies in advance for randomly dumping this into your inbox. it’s long and opinionated and there’s no real reason behind it! i just thought of it and then thought about it some more and then. here we are

ilysm mwah <3 should’ve definitely done something more productive but shh😭 rat brain hours

this is everything, you're completely right. i don't have much to add but i agree all the way. and people give pansy so much shit for the harry thing but she seemed genuinely scared of voldemort coming back and i really think that she believed he would leave them alone if they gave him up. from her perspective, it's either her and the people she cares about get to live or this guy that she not only isn't close to but probably sees as the bad guy considering she dated/was best friends with draco and witnessed their rivalry from his side. did she make the best decisions? no, not at all but i see her reasons and i don't think it makes her this antichrist that jkr makes her out to be. she pulled the “he's just a boy” with draco and had people sympathise with him when he did so so much worse than pansy did so why doesn't that apply to her? she's a kid. they all are. i love harry, ron, and hermione SO MUCH but jkr really said fuck everyone who isn't them ─ especially any girl who isn't her precious hermione. she projected her own pettiness onto fictional characters who are CHILDREN and proceeded to get upset when people connected to and loved other people that she herself made. creating such an underdeveloped character and expecting people to hate her just because she imagined her as her bully is beyond immature and ridiculous. anyways. jkr take a fucking chill pill and leave my girl alone.

#pansy parkinson

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modesty-blaise · 5 years

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Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

#psychonauts #this is a lot longer than i expected #meh #also: all those posts are now under one tag #so you don't have to check my blog 4 times per day #that hobbit reposter #my psychonauts stuff

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kathillards · 5 years

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rangerstop day one

ALSO KNOWN AS: BITCH EVERY POWER RANGER REMEMBERED US FROM MORPHICON (except selwyn. but hes still valid.)

so we avoided the megaforce rangers all day bc we wanted to surprise them at our photo op so for most of the con we wandered around looking at art and toys and bought so much shit oh my god there are so many talented artists here one lady was selling POTTED CLAY DOLLS and i almost bought a kat doll but. restraint. because i spent $80 at ceevee’s table and i still want more from him (he also remembered me from morphicon I LOVE POWER RANGERS YOU GUYS. I LOVE POWER RANGERS SO MUCH. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM ON MY WALL FOR THESE PRINTS BUT IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE ROOM.)

FIRST UP mike ginn because i got ceevee’s huge rpm gold and silver prints to get signed by them and the minute i got up to his table he was like “oh hi didn’t i see you at morphicon” and i was like YES and he was like “and weren’t there a bunch of you” and i was like YEAH LOOK ITS MY FRIENDS and he was like “and one of them was like super shy” because at pmc abbey had told him that our friend tabby loved him but was shy so he called her “shy tabby” and we all pointed at tabby who was trying to hide from him and we were all laughing and he just pointed at her for a minute to tease her and then he walked around his table and got behind her and pretended he was gonna jump at her it was so FUNNY AND CUTE HE LOVES HER HES THE CUTEST and he wanted us all to be in the pic i bought and i mean who am i to say no to mike ginn, the greatest gold ranger of all time

SECOND well li ming was busy (bc she’s a LEGENDARY RANGER BITCH WE STAN THE QUEEN OF RPM) so we turned around and jessica rey was there and SHE WAS LIKE “DIDNT I MEET YOU GUYS AT MORPHICON” because we talked to her for like literally 20 minutes at pmc just shittalking jdf and we were like HELL YEAH ugh she’s the cutest and we again talked to her for like 20 minutes (no shittalking this time) about what we loved about wild force and she was telling us about the alyssa’s father episode bc duh thats our fave and how the actor who played her father was like a famous actor but she knew him bc he was the real dad of one of the PAs and she didnt know he was famous and it was so cute shes so cute and tabby bought a white tiger hat from her (and a bunch of other things BUT THE HATS WERE HAND-CROCHETED THEYRE SO CUTE) and she was telling us just like. shit that happened in her day. and we LOVE her shes so great. AND THEN while we were talking to jessica, ann marie crouch came back bc they’re sharing a booth!! and she was dressed in her princess shayla outfit!! so kat and ben started talking to her god shes so nice and beautiful and she was selling little christmas ornaments of her flowers from her headband they’re so pretty and i told her “wild force rangers are ON POINT with the merch bc everyone else just has headshots” and she was like omg did you hear that w/ her handler and they high-fived (bc her handler made the ornaments) AND THEYRE SO CUTE. JESSICA TOLD US TO COME BACK SO WE WILL bc we have more things to get signed by them. she was also wearing a white tiger wild force hoodie she looked so cute.

THIRD then li ming was free and ofc i had to get her to sign my rpm silver print and shes SO NICE AND PRETTY AND she asked us what the japanese on the print said and we were like “it says you’re the best rpm ranger” and that gem’s said “my sister is cooler than me” and she laughed and we told her how much we loved her in the anniversary and how she was the strongest and most powerful rpm ranger and how she was the REAL LEADER gosh i love her and then we took my photo and SHE LET ME HOLD HER RPM TOY GUN THING i love herrr

FOURTH oh god okay so abbey couldnt be here but we wanted to get her shit so we went to sean cw johnson’s table bc duh and sapphire steph (of sapphire management, she handles like. a lot of rangers. SHES SO COOL) was handling him and we were talking to her and kat facetimed abbey to show her all of sean’s merch and he had these little coins that we got for abbey and asked if he could sign them and we were just talking to steph i dont even know about what i love her and abbey was on the phone and we were like telling them that she loves lightspeed thats why we’re facetiming and SEAN ASKED TO FACETIME HER AND SAY HI bc she was right there and also i showed him and steph abbey’s little carter art of “get in losers we’re going demon hunting” and they both LOVED IT and then he was like “wait ive seen this art before” and i was like “yeah bc you fucking replied to my tweet about how dino charge is better than lightspeed” and he was like “oh yes i do remember that you said it was worse than watching paint dry and you wanted to gouge your eyes out with a spoon” and i was like I DIDNT SAY THAT I WASNT THAT MEAN (i was pretty mean, im so sorry sean i love you) im not gonna link the tweet bc I CANT BELIEVE HE FUCKING REPLIED TO IT AND REMEMBERED bc he was like “i’m not even on social media” and i was like “well you popped up in my notifs soooo” and he was like “no i respect your opinion even if you’re wrong” lmao and he asked what i didnt like about it and obviously i couldnt say “too many white people” to his face so i said i watched 20 episodes it was boring and we HATED captain mitchell bc we hate shitty mentors and we only love rangers and he was like “okay that’s fair” and i was like “and i didnt like that carter had this whole hero worship thing of captain mitchell when he was a shitty dad and like... is this your king???” (i literally said that why am i like this) and he was like “oh well he was kind of my king” and steph was cracking up at the black panther reference she was like “you guys are a hoot” oh and then we got him to do a video shout out where he says abbeys fave line “freeze missiles? sounds cool” and we were like DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, YOURE AN ACTOR so he pretended to get in character and it was so cute and he told me also “i respect that you’re not fake and you stand by your opinions” and i was like ya cuz lightspeed sucks (no i didnt say that) cuz he was like “some people will be like ‘time force is overrated’ and then go up to michael copon (his booth was behind us) and be like ‘oh i’m a huge fan’” and we were like oh we’d never do that and he loved us even though i was so mean to him IM SORRY SEAN I WILL BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU TOMORROW as we were leaving he said to me “tomorrow you can be fake its fine” hes literally like. so cool. and also handsome. but lightspeed is still boring im sorry.

FIFTH we were wandering around again looking at toys and shit and tabby and ben wanted dino bite cafe shirts so we went to marvels by mossers which was right next to brennan and the sudarso brothers and we started talking to the guy there (aiden, not mosser) about, you know, the stuff they were selling and whatnot he’s so cool like they’re all so cool we talked for ages?? bc tabby had to go to the atm to get money and she took forever so we were just standing around saving her spot in line and aiden asked us like how we became friends when we’re all from different states and we told him we met online bc we love power rangers and we met up at morphicon and loved it so much we came to rangerstop and he was like oh thats so cool (this will be important later ok) anyway im just saying WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN JUST TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE JUST. JUST TALK TO THEM. EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT POWER RANGERS. like this guy wasnt even a pr fan but he was so chill anyway i love everyone in this bar.

then we went out to eat but got distracted by gazbot’s booth of his HELLA COOL PRINTS and we bought abbey a balance print and an alpha print and kat bought all the six megaforce rangers and tbh tomorrow im gonna go back and get ninja steel blue BECAUSE while this was happening peter texted me “saw you and said hi but you seemed busy haha” becAUSE i did not stop to say hi to him (because he had a line!) while we were by marvels for mossers anyway i felt bad but we were hungry so went out to the food trucks and we saw two ranger actors whom we will not name come out to smoke together which was HILARIOUS (we love them anyway its ok) and THEN

SIXTH we came back inside bc i wanted brennan to sign my dino charge red print that i got from ceevee (also a shoutout to his handler who is really cool and talked to us and just. guys. i love everyone. i love EVERYONE.) and hes sooooo pretty god and his handwriting is so cute it looks like a child bc he’s left-handed and i asked him why the other dino charge rangers werent there and he was like “well davi’s filming and michael and camille dont really do cons” lmao and i told him i went to school w/ michael and camille and he was like “oh cool my sister-in-law went to that school” when i told him what university it was anyway hes just so pretty. im blanking on most of our conversation. then ben talked to him bc they’re both left-handed and reminded him that he instagrammed ben’s art and they message on insta and it was very cute #bennan for life bitches he also signed ben’s dino charge hat

SEVENTH so you know yoshi and peter are right next to brennan so i was with taylor (@ crossbuild on twitter, rocking the ryuga banjou cosplay) and she wanted to meet the sudarsos so we went over to say hi and peter came over and hugged me and we talked and he was like “since i dyed my hair blonde ive gotten like three more roles” and i was like “blonde privilege” (he looked. surprisingly good with it.) and he was telling me that he and yoshi are playing monkey demigod brothers?? or something and that’s why they both dyed their hair blonde and we also talked about kamen rider (bc taylor mentioned it) and he said he wants to watch wizard and i was like YES WATCH WIZARD ITS MY FAVE and he was like “everyone says bad things about it!” and i was like FUCK THEM JUST BECAUSE ITS SLOW-PACED and he was like “no you know i love slow pace” and i was like yes its very episodic but its SO GOOD THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GOOD they just had an issue w/ the lead actress being an idol and he was like “oh well so is lupinyellow” and i was like DO YOU ACTUALLY WATCH LUPATO bc he does keep up w/ sentai but hes always behind and he was like “dont spoil me im three eps behind” and i was like “well thats pretty good for you and also nothing happens in lupato” and he was so offended on its behalf and i was like “name one thing thats happened peter” and he was like “uh gold showed up???” and i was like “that happens every season” but then i was like “dont get me wrong i love lupato its my fave show of all time” (because it absolutely fucking is) and he was like “i thought so i was so confused” lmao (bc like. im always tweeting about how much i love lupato.) anyway yeah i asked him which kamen riders he’d watched and he was like “you know this pearl” which i did i just enjoy pretending i dont know anything about him. watch wizard y’all. and meanwhile, while i was talking to peter, ben and the others were meeting yoshi and ben was getting his dino charge dvd signed and he gave yoshi his art of koda WHICH YOSHI LOVED and ben was gonna pay $30 for the autograph but yoshi was like “no take it back” and he was like “you’re not gonna sell th dvd right” and ben was like “no i’m keeping it forever” and he was like “ya then you’re not paying for it” bc he LOVED THE ART AND HE LOVES BEN AND US hes so handsome irl like fuck man. who allowed dino charge rangers to exist in the mortal realm. he also gave me and ben cheetos later (he offered them to everyone, we were the only ones who accepted. i love hot cheetos.)

EIGHTH we went to the alphas to get the alpha print signed for abbey and first of all, david fielding’s (zordon) handler was there (david wasnt there) and we were talknig to him and he was like oh im a HUGE power rangers fan i have boxes in my basement full of old power rangers toys and we were like “oh big mood” he was cool too man everyone is so cool i just love. to talk to them. and kat was getting the alpha print signed by romy and she was SO SWEET and we told her how much abbey loved alpha and went to search her art on twitter to show her and she LOVED ALL OF IT she was so sweet her handler was so sweet too and then we went to peta’s booth AND SHE HAD ALPHA GAY PRIDE SHIRTS AND STICKERS so we’re gonna buy those for abbey tomorrow

after that we were hanging around the nearby toy booth avoiding the megaforce rangers who were RIGHT next to the alphas (all together bc they’re codependent losers and we love them) and AIDEN FROM MARVELS BY MOSSER CAME OVER WITH A DINO CHARGE IRON-ON PATCH AND JUST SHOVED IT IN BENS HAND AND SAID “i want you to have this for free because i loved talking to you guys and you deserve it and i love when people meet like you guys did” bc of our little story of how we became online friends and met up and love each other and LIKE. BEN WAS ABOUT TO CRY. I LOVE US AND EVERYONE AT THIS CON.

NINTH so we went back across the room to the sudarsos bc ben wanted to give peter his preston and marv art so i was like “we have something for you” and shoved ben at him and he LOVED THE ART (of course bc ben’s art is amazing) and was like “i’ve seen this on twitter dont i follow you” and ben was like noo you dont and i was like “no, i just retweet ben all the time so hes on your timeline anyway” AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS PHONE AND FOLLOWED BEN IN FRONT OF US and then also later he took a SELFIE w/ the three pieces ben gave him and tweeted about finally getting to meet this amazing artist and @-ed ben and it currently has like 100 likes so ya ben’s famous now go follow him @brodyromero

AND THEN FOR THE MAIN EVENT THE MEGAFORCE PHOTO OP THAT WE BOUGHT AND WANTED TO SURPRISE THEM TONIGHT AND we also went to walmart earlier and got rainbow cupcakes for them and a candle that says 5 to celebrate their 5th anniversary bc we are that extra. side note, there was an ADORABLE little boy in line behind us in a pink mmpr diamonds t-shirt and he was freaking out at everyone and saw a blue ninja steel cosplayer and went OH MY GOD ITS NINJA STEEL BLUE and he was the only valid fan at the entire con and we let him cut in front of us (well we let everyone cut bc we wanted to be the last people in bc we are dramatique)

TENTH THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS so like the whole day we’ve been stressing “what if they dont remember us what if they dont care what if they dont” and then we entered and the literal second they saw us it was like. azim’s WHOLE FACE LIT UP AND HE WENT “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS CAME ITS MY GIRLS” (cuz remember we’re #azimsangels as per his hashtag) and HUGGED US ALL IMMEDIATELY oh hes such a good hugger and they saw our cupcakes and we were like “its for you for your fifth anniversary!” and they were so happy and surprised and ciara was like so jumpy and she like hugged us all SO BIG SHES SO CUUUUUTE they are all so fucking cute cameron remembered us too and came to give us hugs and kat got pity hugs from christina and john mark, the dignified ones (they were very nice, its just everyone else was clearly high and super jumpy and SO HAPPY TO SEE US) and andrew was just there looking gorgeous. sorry i cant say anything about him bc if u look into his eyes u black out and that happens to all of us. idk if he said anything. hes too pretty to exist. and we were like WE CAME TO FLORIDA TO SEE YOU GUYS because we loved meeting you at morphicon so much (which is TRUE we planned this all so last-minute bc we were like. fuck it lets go to fucking rangerstop we wanna see the megacast again.) and god they were so HAPPY. AZIM WAS SO HAPPY. CAMERON HUGGED ME SO TIIIIGHT. azim like crushed us all in a group hug the second he saw us. and then we took the photo and ciara literally just JUMPED into ben and kat and tabby’s laps bc they were sitting on the chairs and i got in the back in the middle of ALL FOUR BOYS like oh my god i cant even look at myself in the picture we got bc i’m surrounded by the literal hottest guys in the world like what the fuck. andrew gray TOUCHED ME. like holy fuck. and christina posed w/ the cupcakes and cameron held the 5 candle and was like “COME ON JOHN LETS BLOW IT OUT” and that was their pose and the rest of us were just cheesin and god its so cuuute im gonna make them all autograph it tomorrow and i also got megaforce red and silver prints from ceevee to get andrew and cameron to sign. and then after the pic christina tried to give us back the cupcakes and we were like NO THEY’RE FOR YOU THEY’RE YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT and cameron literally started jumping up and down like a little kid he was like “WE GET CUPCAKES” and i was standing next to him so i said “we got rainbow ones so everyone was kind of represented except you sorry” and he looked at me and was like “yeah because nobody cares about silver” and i was like nooo its bc its hard to put silver on frosting and he was like yeah thats true AND THEN as we were leaving and they were like thank you for the cupcakes!! he was like “are there drugs in them” and kat was like “no” and tabby was like “yes” and i said “next time, for your 10 year anniversary” and andrew was like “ten years!” all chill like. i love him. king of red rangers. cameron said “love youuuu” to us as we left. i would quite literally die for all of them.

afterwards we were waiting around to get our reprints and azim came out and stopped to talk to us and we were like “where the fuck is your girlfriend we only came to see her” and he told us she’s flying to london :( and then he was like “are you guys coming tomorrow come hang out at our booths” (we were like “we have shit for you to sign we’re not just gonna loiter” and he was like “no just come hang out”) and he said “i wanna tell you guys the most heartwarming story that’s happened at rangerstop, a four year saga” so he like. REALLY wants us to come back tomorrow like what a cliffhanger that was!!

we also saw catherine and li ming bc the 25th anniversary photo op was right after us they’re so pretty!! im gonna visit catherine tomorrow and get my PINK RANGER W/ DRAGON SHIELD PRINT SIGNED BY HER ugh ceevee’s art is literally so amazing bitch. fuck. and then steve was also there and tabby was like “we love you steve!” (she said that for every actor that passed us but nobody heard her EXCEPT STEVE) and he stopped and turned back and was like HEY GUYS, love him. AND THEN SELWYN ALSO SHOWED UP FOR THE PHOTO OP and then on our way out of the photo op hallway he was ahead of us getting water in the hotel lobby so we stopped and said hi and introduced ourselves and i was like “we met you at morphicon” and he was like hmm (he was the only one who didnt rmr us at all clearly BUT HES STILL SO VALID. I LOVE YOU SELWYN.) and he was like “why don’t you guys get a picture with me” and we were like “well we’ll be here tomorrow to see you” and he was like “no we gotta do it right now” so he and tabby took a selfie LITERALLY THE CUTEST. HES SO HANDSOME. I LOVE POWER RANGERS.

also psycho red is hot

#earth's defenders never shut up #hell clique takes rangerstop #long post -#power rangers #rangerstop

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hopeless-helpless-heart · 5 years

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1.19.19

so yesterday i went to the hospital and had a HUGE reality check from a customer who frequently comes in my store (she was one of the crisis clinicians on call)

just a lil background. i went to the hospital because my bulimia has been out of fucking control. i passed out on Monday, and purged so much on Wednesday that i almost passed out again. i also went because my suicidal ideation wasnt improving.

so i get there, check in, they do all my vitals, and hook me up to 2! mothafuckin ivs. one because i was really dehydrated, and the other because my potassium was severely low. they hooked me up to an ecg machine to monitor my heart rate or beat or some shit. all i know is when i went in there my heart rate was 158 and its supposed to be like 75-100? ya bitch was tachy.

so after i got a very supoortive talking to by the pa about how dangerous it was and how im basically wrecking my body and *will* die, they called the crisis clinicians. they came and asked me all the assessment questions, like have you been feeling hopeless, suicidal, aggressive, risky behavior, etc. AND EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS FUCKING MANIC. like ???? ok. and i know that i always deny when im manic because why tf am i manic if im being medicated ? but i digress. anywho, i told them, just like i told my therapist that i dont feel manic. *side note* i rarely experience euphoric mania. so, to all you bitches who get to be ecstatically destructive, suck a butt. so i explained to them that this was NOT a mixed episode. because i wasnt spending money, and i was sleeping 10+ hours a night. my sleep and my budget are huge indicators of mania.

so we talked and talked and i got really raw with these women because i had to be clear that i didnt want to die, i just needed to stop feeling how i feel, how often i feel it. and i feel like that's true for a lot of suicidal people. we genuinely want to be happy and lead normal healthy happy lives... but when we cant, and we like discouragingly c a n t. you think of a way out.. and these two women were sooooo helpful.

it is REALLY hard having coexisting mental illnesses. especially when they all trigger each other. and the women were like yea bipolar is hard. yea bipolar is stupid. and yes its soooo fucking complex. but the one who's my customer said "that doesn't mean you are. youre so insightful about what you need. we can tell youve had a really rough time tackling this, but youre so young and you have so many lessons to learn." FULL STOP. so i was like what Tina. what lessons do i have to learn ? and she tilted her head to the side, extended her arm and said "how to manage your disorders". and then went on to explain that it iss so hard, and ive been dealing with it for a long time, so of course im frustrated. and even though they won't go away, i have to be willing to help myself.

if im throwing up all the time, im not taking meds. if im not taking meds, literally every single thing gets worse. and i guess what im struggling with most right now is the knowledge that its not going away. im going to have bipolar disorder for the rest of my life. im going to have to overcome disordered eating, then work every day to keep myself healthy.

i guess what im trying to say is these women validated the fuck out of me. they didnt tell me to be grateful or thankful for anything. they didnt tell me i have to look on the bright side or to not focus on the bad, because they know how the disorder works. they told me i have to be willing to help myself through it. i have to be willing to talk to my therapist about my struggles. i have to be willing to follow a food plan and take my meds. i have to be willing to tell my psych when my tolerance is growing instead of being worried about getting 3 more blood tests. and that was honestly better than what a lot of people say.

everyone wants to be sorry when you're depressed. "im sorry". "oh man, im sorry". "im so sorry you're dealing with this". like ya... me too. i dont want people to be sorry for me -sympathy is fine or whatever- or everyone wants to offer their advice. what they would do. what they think you should do.. and honestly, sometimes all we need is someone to listen and be supportive. let me talk about my horrible ass day, without you saying im being negative. let me tell you im having a hard time eating, without you telling me to just eat. let me cry, without you trying to make me smile. im not broken, my chemicals will balance out. but allow me the space to hold hands with my feelings. yea it gets scary... its scary for me too 😒. but it doesn't always need to be fixed. sometimes you just have to ride the episode out. most times i just have to ride the episode out. and it's haaaaard, but it's okay. its usually when i feel really lonely and misunderstood that i get suicidal. i feel like i can't talk to anyone and i have to save face. i have to be who people want me to be, and that's so damaging. suicidal ideation most definitely comes out the purple, too. i can be minding my business, and BOOM. but its a symptom of a bigger issue. just like the bulimia. its a symptom of a bigger issue. and my bigger issue is unresolved trauma and a mood disorder thats wreaking havoc over my mental estate. and i KNOW that. and sometimes i just need to be reminded that im sick. im not broken. im sick. and anyone with a mood disorder knows its a larger scale with different extremes, and triggers are plentiful.

anyway anyway. they kept me over night to make sure my heart rate beat whatever stabilized, i ate something, wouldn't die of an electrolyte imbalance, and wouldn't come home and take all my lithium or overdose on oxy. but im home now ! and while i am obviously still depressed, ive managed to shower, eat and keep down half a bowl of oats, get rid of all the pills ive stockpiled, and make myself a nice hot cup of tea. and yaknow, like eat a banana lol.

im not happy, but i feel heard and seen. and that shit REALLY makes a difference.

#bipolar #bipolar disorder #hospitalization #electrolyte imbalance #bulimic #bulimia #recovery #listen to your people #suicidal mention #tw: eating problems #tw: suidice #tw: drugs #my testimony #help yourself #feel seen #feel heard

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smireyac · 3 years

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fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!!

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing....

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe......

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year......

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ???

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!!

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!!

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now..........

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol

so yeah

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

#omg i talk #happy new year

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rivalplatinum-blog · 7 years

Text

Pocket Ethics: Obedience and Team Galactic

Hey Guys,

Sooooo... I'm STILL working on the Pocket Ethics episode. Hopefully, as I can't stream Wednesday through Sunday, I should be able to get it done then. Buuuuuuuut... I'm doing a Mini Pocket Ethics to kick end this month. !WARNING! THIS BLOG CONTAINS OPINIONS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS OF OTHERS, TURN BACK NOW. IN ADDITION, THIS BLOG WILL TALK ABOUT DISTURBING MATERIAL. IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ANYTHING IN THIS BLOG, DON'T LEAVE A HATEFUL COMMENT. TURN AROUND. IMPORTANT SUBJECTS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED WITH CARE - BUT THEY DO HAVE TO BE ADDRESSED. WITH THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, FEEL FREE TO LEAVE A COMMENT. In the Introductory Episode of Pocket Ethics I talked briefly about one of the most controversial experiments in Psychology - the Stanford Prison Experiment. In this test, college students who signed up were assigned one of two roles - Prisoner or Guard. The idea was to see how power dynamics affected behavior. The experiment ended early when the Professor conducting the experiment realized that it was inhumane. I won't go into the details, however, if you want to see a video on the Stanford Prison Experiment, click here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_LKzEqlPto). WARNING: I have seen this video before, in my Sociology course last semester, and it was, as I stated in the warning, disturbing. "But Plat, what on Earth does this have to do with Pokemon?" Well, to discover the answer to this, we need to look into the power dynamics of the Pokemon Universe. Particularly, we need to take a long, hard look at Team Galactic. What is Team Galactic? Team Galactic was introduced in Generation IV, and in short, tried to destroy the universe using the power of Palkia/Dialga, or both if we take Pokemon Platinum into consideration. This team was lead by Cyrus, who's backstory is rather upsetting... And, in my opinion, is one of the most relatable villains in the franchise, second to only Guzma (And N... If you count N as a bad guy). His admins were Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn. In Platinum, you also meet Charon, a Commander. There's this one scene in Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum, though, that really stands out to me. After infiltrating Team Galactic's Veilstone Headquarters, you find a room. There's a balcony with a podium on top of it. Then, below, there are grunts. The grunts listen enthusiastically as Cyrus makes a speech to them, saying how they will make a new world exclusively for Team Galactic. The Grunts, compelled by their leader's charisma, cheer for their boss. All the Grunts cheer, then Cyrus steps off stage. The scene is eerily similar to several events in history, and Cyrus, if one could guess, formed team Galactic around that base charisma. The grunts, after Cyrus is defeated, defer to Jupiter as their leader. Who actually treats them with respect and dedicates Team Galactic to looking for alternate sources of energy. What is Deference? In another experiment, known commonly as the Milgram Experiment, subjects were asked to administer a memory test. However, one person in the memory test was always an actor. The subject was assigned to the role of proctor, and would ask the actor basic questions. After getting a question wrong, they would receive an electric shock. In reality, there was no shock. At a certain point in the experiment, the actor would cry out. If the proctor didn't call off the test at that point, the actor would go silent. During the entire experiment, another actor - playing a Doctor - would sit in the room with them, encouraging - even commanding - the subject to continue with the test.

This principle, in studies such as Sociology and Psychology, is known as Deference or Obedience. The Milgram Experiment has been repeated several times since, with different groups of people from all walks of life. Each time it produced similar results. According to Simple Psychology (http://www.simplypsychology.org/milgram.html), two thirds of the participants (65%) delivered a “leathal” shock of 450 volts. All of the participants continued to at least 300 volts, after the screaming had occurred.

Footage of the Milgram Experiment can be found here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek4pWJ0_XNo) Again, the results are frightening. And there is screaming involved. I’m just providing the link, if you want to watch.

What does Team Galactic have to do with these Experiments?

This all comes back to Cyrus. Team Galactic’s Boss orders his grunts to commit what we’d consider to be terrorist acts. The grunts eagerly took over the Valley Windworks, forcing the scientists there to work themselves nearly to exhaustion. In addition, some of these acts were particularly silly - yet frightening - such as when the player character has to infiltrate Team Galactic’s Eterna Headquarters to rescue a Clefairy that was stolen because, and I quote, “Clefairy came from the Moon.” This is ignoring the typical “Grunts Steal Pokemon” bit. Heck! They blew up a lake, captured Mespirit, Azelf, and Uxie, and then proceeded to make the red chain by using them.

Team Galactic is particularly enthusiastic about doing their duties, however, and this is likely because they defer to Cyrus and, in extension, his Admins and Commanders. Yes, we see a similar phenomenon with Team Plasma. However, Team Plasma, at least in Black and White, have relatively noble ambitions (Note: Put a tab on that. I need to talk about Pokemon abuse later). We can argue that Team Galactic is the only team where the Grunts are actually evil.

Team Aqua and Magma were focused on creating a better world for Pokemon and, at times, People too.

Team Rocket is greedy, not evil.

Team Skull… Is Team Skull. They’re a bunch of misfits.

Team Plasma might have been right.

And the grunts in Team Flare, similarly, defered to Lysander. But they committed atrocities unwittingly.

By this logic, however, the Grunts in Team Galactic simply act evil because they’re supposed to. It’s because they want to create a better world, similar to all the other Teams… They just go too far to achieve said goals, and please the higher ups. Furthermore, the only two members of Team Galactic that seem to be pushing for this sort of behavior are Cyrus and Charon.

In Conclusion

I haven’t mentioned this yet, but if you haven’t seen it, go watch Pokemon Generations - The New World (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIPUi5k6MA). It perfectly exemplifies the behavior I’m talking about in Team Galactic’s grunts. How devastated they are when their leader is spirited away to the Distortion World, and how they instantly look to Jupiter to see what to do. It’s terrifying to think about, but any one of us could fall into this same pattern of thinking.

Or become the Charismatic Leader behind it all.

Milgram proves that we will obey authority, because we’ve been socialized to do just that. Stanford proves that when put in a position of authority, people in general use that authority… For better or worse. Team Galactic and Cyrus himself aren’t recognized enough. They are perfect examples of the concept of Obedience/Deference. But, by looking at examples of these actions, we can recognize our own behavior, and stop ourselves from becoming accomplices in crimes against humanity (or Pokemon).

Peace Out,

-Plat

Resources

Sociology in Modules - Richard T. Schaefer (Much love to this book)

Pokemon Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum

Documentary on the Stanford Prison Experiment - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_LKzEqlPto]

Simple Psychology - http://www.simplypsychology.org/milgram.html

Original Footage of the Milgram Experiment - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek4pWJ0_XNo

Pokemon Generations - The New World - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIPUi5k6MA

#Pokemon #PocketEthics #sociology #ethics #milgram experiment #stanford prison experiment #Psychology

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kutee-boutique-fan-blog · 6 years

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Sonoma Strong Shirt

Do you love it? https://kuteeboutique.com/shop/sonoma-strong-shirt/

Sonoma Strong Shirt

I agree! There’s nothing worse than bland chicken! I season the chicken with Sonoma Strong Shirt and then season the flour with the other seasonings like pepper, garlic powder, onion powder etc. I want that right now. I am one of the many working poor here in America and only get to eat once a day…and, it’s usually crap food…all I can afford. What I wouldn’t do for a piece of golden fried chicken. Damn…it sucks being poor and having to eat shit. I think should season the buttermilk as well, depending on how much chicken frying, may come out bland based on the herbs used here..looks good though.

Sonoma Strong Shirt, Hoodie, Sweater, Ladies T-Shirt

Sonoma Strong Hoodie

So basically you asshats grabbed the 11 most commonly used spices in the kitchen and then decided to call it “secret 11 herbs and spices”?. No, It’s not about people not knowing how to season meat. It’s called secret because this is another attempt to duplicate KFC’s trade secret 11 herbs and spices recipe. No one outside of KFC supposedly knows the exact herbs, spices and quantities of each used. ive just seen this…why me damn it?! I’ll probably burn them to a crisp and the inside will somehow end up being raw…and we all know how nice medium rare chicken is.

Sonoma Strong Sweat Shirt

Something is up when all my links are trying to feed me on my diet! Something is wrong here, I’ll lose my teeth biting my phone, ok! Stop y’all. i prefer pan frying, yes, but if i was thinking about pan frying, i would say that one tenth would be necessary, not half….i just saw that the oil was like 3 to 5 cm above the chicken, pointless even for deep fry, doesn’t need to be sooooo deep…..but yes, pan fry is healthier, because you use the oil only once and then you throw it away….i cant imagine people throwing away 3 bottles of oil after one deep frying….and using it again after few days would be gross.

Sonoma Strong Ladies Tee

Sonoma Strong Shirt, V-Neck, Tank-Top, Long Sleeve T-Shirt

Sonoma Strong Ladies V Neck

Your kidding right, if all this junk it takes to make this chicken, in the end what does this chicken really taste like and if the music doesn’t kill you. No. You’re missing the part where you dip it back in the wet in back in the dry and back and then went back in the dry several times then you fry the suckers. Let me tell u a good seasoning recipe for fried chicken: Chili powder, cayenne pepper parsley garlic powder oregano paprika dried thyme then obviously flour and buttermilk. Best fried chicken ever.

Sonoma Strong Unisex Tank Top

1st Off it’s not NOT the colonels recipe it’s Lee’s and if you want the real stuff go to Ohio and get some Lee’s famous. econd it has to be pressure fried. 3rd no one including this texter gives a rat’s ass fried chicken is only trumped by bacon. Leah A. O’Neill Backus i precook chicken in spises and veggies – take out and chill while actually having a boullion for soup. Then I coat chicken as above – buttermilk and spices. What is That shit about white people in here ? Kinda brainless blacks ? Damn u dourselve a fav acting this way coz my recipe for chicken comes from my dear African friend and not an idiot.

Sonoma Strong Unisex Longsleeve Tee

I still wouldn’t eat it! Let shit marinate for a while before cooking it; white folks just season then cook 2 mins later and seasoning to them is salt and pepper. Sorry, not me. I season everything. I add hot sauce and spices to the buttermilk. Highly season the flour and then use that flour to make my gravy. I also flour the chicken twice for very crispy delicious fried chicken. i can’t believe the audacity off this anger being let out. This is the first time i’ve ever seen more than just salt and Sonoma Strong Shirt. let alone y’all used all the damn seasoning in the seasoning isle!

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