warnings: smut, mentions of death, depression, angst. hurt/comfort
a/n: this was a very spontaneous drabble and i don’t have much to say about it. it’s a short little thing and i hope you enjoy it <3
sejanus plinth. you’ve never met a lamb so hellbent on the sacrificing of itself. some days you want to ask him why? he makes you a disquieted mess, full of worry, consumed by love. he is audacious, brave, foolishly stubborn. religion is a thing of the past, a concept learned more than a practice, but you understand enough of it to know it when you see it. his bread crumbs and the burning embers of his rage. his myopic beliefs. his warm hands and delicate whispering. he kneels at the alter of people he’d scarcely be able to recognize passing on the street and he says he would die for them. this is a sentence he’s uttered to you. it was a self evident truth.
you don’t ask why. it’d be a fruitless endeavor, a circular fight that would only break your heart. with sejanus its best not to consider all the ways in which he is a ticking time bomb. he is a snapshot and you hold the camera. witty and brilliant. kind. curly hair, doe brown eyes, a mole on his cheek. full lips. best not to remember the way rage fills him. best not to remember the thrown desk, or the tribute named marcus, or the weeks he wasted away from grief and a defeat that reeked of finality. worst of all would to be remember the arena because then you remember: i would die for them. the self evident truth of your self sacrificing lamb.
your camera lens mind focuses, shutters down on this: he is beneath you, bare, full of devotion. you rock into him, draw out a sharp gutural moan that vibrates into your soul. the afterschool special, he jokingly called this. your red school uniform abandoned at the foot of his gaudy bed. his hands on your breasts. his mouth. oh, his mouth. warm and wet and loving. it is hard to imagine in moments like this how angry he can get. hard to imagine that half the time he is a fire pit of sorrow and steely determination and bitter anger. you are full of him, above him, and all he appears to be is wanting, pleased, loving. you pin his curls back from his forehead and grind into him. he can get no deeper and yet you try anyway, because he is sejanus plinth and there are a million ways this can end and only a few are ones you can stand. maybe, you hope against hope, if you fuck him good enough then he will be sated. maybe love will be enough. it’s something he’d like to think. you crush your lips against his and he digs his fingers into your hips.
tomorrow you lose this man to district 12. they will shave his hair and feed off his fury. you know he hasn’t thought about it, not the way he should, but there is coriolanus, all alone, shipped off, and sejanus plinth’s love knows no bounds. he’s so excited about the surprise. he’s going to take him his mother’s cookies. you don’t ask why. you ought to be brilliantly angry with him. you should. explode, your mind pleads, but you rock your hips into his again and your heart soars. you don’t ask because you know why. you know why: because coriolanus snow. because he would die for them. because he is sejanus plinth.
oh god i’m having too many thoughts abt what it means that sejanus is played by a puerto rican actor and now it’s the only thing i can think about. district 2 as PR and the capitol as the mainland. as a "wealthy" district they’re favored but only because of what they can get out of it and it’s people while they have no political power. he’s capitol and he’s not he’s a citizen and he’s not he belongs and he doesn’t. the way people like his father try so hard to align themselves with the capitol and are still in so many ways left behind. his sympathy for the people in the districts over his classmates. he dies for the cause and what would have been his inheritance goes right to the formation of a fascist like he never existed like what he did never mattered. hello hello are you listening i’m losing my mind
shout out to the security guard I had a 20 minute conversation with about the whole hunger games franchise and im sorry I didn’t understand your Scottish accent and thought you said divergent when you said the mortal instruments 💔 love you tho <33 and I’m going back after school to show him my sejanus keychain ALSO I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT CAPTIONS ON HERE SO WOOOHOOO
Imagine telling someone in 2014 that in the future, Maddie Ziegler from ‘Dance Moms’ would be featured in Steven Spielberg’s ‘West Side Story’ movie musical