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that1nerd-20 · 9 months

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Chuck Hansen X F!Reader (Birthday special)

Warnings: Jealous chuck, Violence, Talk of sexual stuff, Gets a bit spicy, Swearing, a bit of angst, Chuck being a butt, MDNI! 18+ / ageless blogs don't interact!! Or you will be blocked

Word count: 4.7k

Other:

Reader can put her hair in a low pony, and is described as being shorter than chuck and she goes to the gym, as well as her cheeks can become red. Chuck is also able to pick her up, but only for a few split seconds and can carry her a few feet from a wall to a bed. But other than that, she is very open ended

this was purely self-indulgent, I love Chuck so much and I wanted to do something for him for his birthday. let me know if yall want part two with the smut. also, we are gonna pretend they are at the shatterdome for like a year before they close the breach, we also gonna pretend like he doesn't die. sorry for any grammar issues or sentences just don't make sense, I'm sometimes really bad at writing things, and other times my writing sounds amazing

His birthday is Aug 14th. so this will be posted on Aug 14th.

The alarm blared loudly in my ears. Groaning, I pull myself up out of bed. I stretch, hearing the bed across from me rustle. I look over, my older brother Jacob is still fast asleep. Smirking widely I make my way to his bedside.

Cupping my hands around my mouth I scream “JACOB!!” in his ear. Jacob bolts upright, “Where's the danger?!” he rapidly looks around finally setting his eyes on me and groaning. I walk over to our shared bathroom grabbing my uniform as he gets up off his bed. I give our two dogs, Xerxes the Doberman and Baron the Deutsch Drathaar, pats on the head I close the bathroom door before changing into my uniform. I head out of the bathroom to see Jacob finish zipping up his uniform top. We both grab our bomber jackets, Jacob puts his on, the large silver lettering displayed across his back our Jaegers symbol in gold underneath. I threw my jacket over my shoulder holding it there. We both put our aviators on and headed out the door. The voice announced over the kaiju alarm.

“Kaiju alert, Sideswipe pilots please report to your conn-pod station.” walking down the hallway, many of the others moved out of the way.

“So how's it going with Alice?” I asked my co-pilot nonchalantly, looking at him as he whipped his head around his mouth hanging open slightly.

“How did you find out about that?!” he whisper shouted, looking around to make sure no one else heard. Smirking I look forward “She told me. I mean I am friends with her.” I said like it was no big deal. I chuckled when I heard him groan “I didn't know she was telling people about us…” I shrugged the two sets of dog tags around my neck jangling. “I'm pretty sure she only told me, since im your sister.” we walk past LOCCENT, a quick glance inside I see the Hansen boys, Mako Mori, Raleigh Becket, Cherno Alpha’s pilots, and the Wei Tang brothers.

While there is an actual kaiju attack, we are the only Jaeger being sent out. Since my brother and I are a newer Jaeger pair, Marshall Pentecost wants us to show off our skills to the other Jaeger pilots. We finally reached our conn-pod station. Jacob and I place our jackets and aviators neatly in a pile on one of the benches at our station.

Pulling my hair up into a low ponytail, our crew gets to work helping us put our armor on. I hear the marshall and a group of people walk to the entrance of our station. A low psst sounds from my brother's direction, I look at him with a slightly annoyed look “What?!” I whisper harshly, he smirks softly “What about Chuck?” he whispers back, my eyebrows crease in confusion, glancing at the aforementioned pilot, who was watching us like the rest of the group.

“What about him?” I whisper back at my brother, whose smirk only gets wider “You fuck ‘im yet?” he whispers back, my face turning bright red. The crew members who were working on us paused, some also going bright red, A few of them snickering. I glared at the group, “is there a problem?” an authoritative voice rings out. Jacob and I freeze, gulping. I glance at the marshall “No sir.” Jacob and I answered at the same time. Our team hastily resumed their work, Jacob and I straightened our backs staring straight forward “Good.” the marshall simply states. The last piece of my suit is secured in place, our helmets are handed to us.

I look over at my brother “Ready, Luke?'' His nickname comes out harshly “As ever, Leia.” He brings his fist up waiting expectantly, a big grin stretches across my face, and I hit my own fist against it. We head into our conn-pod, “Good luck pilots.” Marshall Pentecost says before leading the group away. We step into our footholds, Jacob to my left, our team hooks us up to the neural bridge, and we both put our helmets on.

“Testing 1, 2, 3, Sideswipe can you hear me?” Tendo’s voice sounds out, and Jacob reaches his right arm up to the control panel. “We hear you loud and clear Mission control.” Jacob lets his arm fall. “Initializing neural handshake.” I feel the pull at the back of my head as we enter the drift. Memories from our childhood in Wisconsin flowed through, everything that flashed between us is stuff we'd both seen before. Memories of our younger brother Atlan float by too. We are brought out of the drift quickly “Neural handshake completed and holding strong.” our jaeger is then picked up to be brought to the kaiju.

Jacob’s mind fills up with explicit images of his girlfriend making me gag in disgust. “Dude, are you really thinking about Alice like that right now?!” I yell over at my copilot. He smirks and looks over at me. “Well you're thinking about how you'd like to screw that-” Cutting him off I yell at him “-that nothing, im not thinking about screwing anyone!” although both he and I knew that wasnt the case, we were in each others head, we can't lie. Memories of Chuck when he's working out in the base gym flash in my head, and my mind wanders to the memory of how the muscles in his arms strained and moved while he worked out. I was always blessed when he decided to wear tank tops while he did. Him being so hot in a tank top got me hurt once.

“C'mon, you got this! You are so close!” Jacob had challenged me to see who could run for the longest time on the treadmills. Anytime we did this I would share my earbuds and blast music to keep us going. Jacob gave up ¾ of the way through my run, but I was close to beating my record on how many miles I could run in one go, which was 3.5 miles. I was nearing the record, and Jacob and a few others were cheering me on.

When I finally hit it, the small group that had formed around me started cheering, but I wasnt completely tired yet so I wanted to keep pushing. Right after I hit 4 miles, that's when he appeared, large arm muscles and broad shoulders being shown off by the tank top. Chuck asked one of the others around me what was going on, gripping the towel around his neck, but when he glanced at me my foot slipped out from underneath me.

I slid down the treadmill, pulling the emergency cord with me. Although the treadmill shut off pretty quickly, I still got shot to the floor. My right arm and leg burned. “Shit! Y/N!” Jacob leaned down near me, rolling me onto my left side to assess the damage to my right side. I groaned opening my eyes, asking my brother silently how bad it was. He answered through our link “It doesn't look too bad, just bad rugburns in a sense.” I saw Chuck peer over my face, his beautifully hot, sweaty face, filled with concern. “Ya alrigh’ love?” my face flushed red, not trusting my voice I nod.

“Dude stop that! I don’t need to see you drooling over lover boy-” Jacob nearly screamed at me, shaking me out of my thoughts, “You’re such a little baby.” I retorted. The helicopters above us slow down getting ready to drop us. We both brace ourselves when Jacob speaks “But I’m your little baby” I can practically hear the smirk in his tone. The cables on our Jaeger snap and we are released. When we land we steady ourselves, Jacob and I share a look, before we turn our attention to the kaiju in front of us, not making a move until we say “Let's kill this piece of shit.”

Time skip

Our Jaeger docks in the shatterdome, the head lifts off Sideswipe, and heads up to our station. We get unhooked from the neural bridge, taking off our helmets we make our way out to our docking station. We see the marshall and the other Jaeger pilots having a conversation at the entrance of the room, our team starts to disassemble our suits.

Jacob and I face the group of pilots, as the last few bits of our suits are taken off. I try not to glance at Chuck, but I can't help but look at him at least once, I find him looking away from everyone with his arms crossed. Jacob and I head to our jackets, we unpile the stuff, taking what was ours. I put my boots back on after folding my aviators on the collar of my uniform. I sling my jacket over my shoulder again as Jacob puts his on. We approach the group that was blocking our way out, our crew long gone.

The marshall turned towards us, I gave him a nod, and Jacob addressed him directly, his normally light, joking tone replaced by a cold serious one. “Marshall.” the marshall gave us both a curt nod.

“You two performed well,” the marshall starts, “Color me impressed.” he offers us a small smile before turning back towards the group and walking out. The Wei Tang brothers and the Cherno Alpha pilots leave with the Marshall, Herc comes up to us giving us both a pat on the shoulder. Before Herc leaves he gives me a strange look, like he's trying to tell me something. Mako and Raleigh both tell us Good job before walking out as well. Jacob heads out giving me a knowing look as I take notice that Chuck is still here. I turn towards Chuck, who has his arms crossed over his broad chest, an annoyed look on his face, as he stares off into a corner of the room.

Making my way over, I place my jacket over my arm, as I get closer to Chuck I can see he's lost in thought. “Hey.” I stop about 2 feet in front of him. It seems to snap him out of his trance, he looks at me quickly before he storms out of the room. I sat there gaping staring after him. What was that about?

I make my way down to the mess hall since it was dinner, but not before stopping by Jacob and i’s room to grab the dogs and to change. I change into a gray T-shirt and black cargo pants, keeping my combat boots on and both sets of dog tags. A few weeks after Jacob and I became friends with the Hansen boys, I had a gift left on our doorstep. Chuck had given me a spare set of his dog tags, he wrote a note saying that he wanted someone to get his dog tags when he died, and most likely his main set would be impossible to recover. He said that he thought id be a good choice. If he saw them find a home around my neck, he didn't say anything. While we barely knew each other a few weeks, we had become really good friends. I put my aviators on, grabbed the dogs' leashes, and headed toward the mess hall.

Xerxes was a pretty tall muscular dog, he was a traditional-looking Doberman; black coat, docked tail, and cropped ears to stand tall. Baron was on the smaller side, still a big dog, but he wasnt as tall, he was somewhat stocky and looked very mean but was a sweetheart, both of them are. Baron's black coat was littered with singular white hairs across his chest, feet, and face he was a traditional Drahthaar with a docked tail as well.

With one dog on each side of me, I made my way into the mess hall. I see Jacob already sitting with Herc and Chuck, so I stop by the table and hand the dogs over, who immediately lay down next to the table. I head up to the counter and grab my food. When I get back to the table, I sit down across from Jacob and next to Chuck in my normal spot. The dogs move from their spot and lay down by me, I could feel Max under the table resting his head on my foot. We all talked, but Chuck wouldn't say a thing to me. He wouldn't even look at me, the air around us got awkward. As soon as Chuck was done eating he jumped up and stormed off. He even left Max, which he never does.

I look over at Herc, my face contorted in confusion and hurt.

“Sorry kid, he's an ass sometimes,” he shrugs before continuing, “I think I have an idea of wha’ it’s about but he needs to deal with it on his own.” Herc gets up, not realizing that Max was still under the table. I look at Jacob still confused “What is it with you men being cryptic all the time?” I ask him. He shrugs “I guess we're just programmed like that” he takes a bite of his food “Not everybody is like me and expresses their feelings.” he chuckles softly. Taking a bite of my food I smile. “You are truly one of a kind.” I laugh swallowing my food, “and not in a good way.” he pretends to pout. “Well thanks, sis for being so nice to your big brother.” he sarcastically comments. We stare each other down for a few moments before we burst out laughing.

We finish eating so I get up to throw my tray away. “Can you take the dogs back to the room? I gotta get Max back to Chuck,” I asked Jacob, Max’s head perking up, Jacob nodded. I called Max, and he got up and followed me while I dumped my tray. Making my way out of the mess hall with Max following behind me. I slowly walk through the shatterdome halls not really knowing where Chuck is.

Luckily I see Herc, I call out for him "Herc!!" He looks behind him spotting me and stops. "Do you know where Chuck is?" He nodded scratching his chin "he's in his room." Turning around I head back down the hallway calling out a thank you as Max chased after me down the hall.

Arriving at Chuck's door I hesitate before finally knocking. I hear some rustling before I hear faintly from behind the door "What?!". Glancing down at Max I slowly speak up "I-it's me," swallowing some spit I continue, "You left Max in the mess hall so I brought him to you." Hearing nothing I sigh, "I-i don't know what I did, but I'm sorry…" still getting no response I leave Max at the door and head back to my room.

Chuck ignored me for the next week. I started eating up by my Jaeger's conn-pod station. The dogs often joined me, offering me sympathy as they rest their heads against my legs.

One day Herc came running up "Kid I need your help! Raleigh told me chucks gone crazy, said he's beating up some guy in mess." I didn't look up from my food, he kneeled beside me "Look I know he's been an asshole lately but you might be the only one able to stop him." I finally nod. We run down the halls to get down to the mess hall. When we reach the dining area chucks on top of a guy, clutching his shirt and screaming at him. Herc and I run to Chuck, we both manage to pull him off of the guy, and I push Chuck away from him by his chest. His face was full of anger and hatred. His body was tense beneath my hands but seemed to relax as he managed to feel my hands on him. "Chuck you need to calm down…" I spoke softly, he looked down at me relaxing more.

He tensed once more when the guy spoke up "Yeah that's right you gotta get your daddy and your little piece of ass to stand up for you." I looked back at him, feeling Chuck get angry again. I see my brother obviously being held back by his girlfriend Alice. Chuck goes to move but I push firmly on his chest "Don't call her that!" Chuck's voice seething with anger. Herc steps beside me helping me keep him back. Noticing that the guy is one of my crew members, getting a little pissed off myself I step towards him. "How 'bout instead of focusing on other people's lives you focus on keeping that mouth of yours shut, 'cause it just cost you your job."

The large group of personnel all snicker and laugh at the man. Two guys quickly grab him and leave the mess hall. I turn around to face Chuck, his face and hands were bruised, bleeding, and cut up. I take his arm in my hand, feeling his warm skin, I guide him back to his room. Our three combined dogs follow behind us.

When we reach his room I open the door as he and the dogs walk in. I push him softly towards the bed. Grabbing his first aid kit, knowing exactly where it was from the countless times I'd had to patch him up. Turning back to Chuck his shirt is off as he looks down. A large bruise is starting to form on his stomach. Small cuts litter his shoulder. "God Chuck, what happened…?" I whisper making my way back to him. Trying to focus on patching him up and not the fact that he's shirtless. I sit next to him a slowly tend to his wounds. He doesn't look at me or speak. Only halfway done I get fed up "Chuck." He doesn't look up. "Chuck. Look at me.." I caress his cheek with one hand, slowly forcing his head to face me. "Chuck, what happened…?" His eyes finally met mine before quickly turning his head away from me. He shrugs slowly getting off his bed "The guy was just being a piece of shit, I just tried putting him in his place." His tone is relaxed like it was no big deal.

"I can clean the rest of my cuts, you can go." He rummaged through one of his drawers. I watched his back, trying not to gawk, but I snapped out of it. I stood up and walked towards him. "No im staying because we need to talk about you being a total ass hat." He whipped around, I could feel the heat in my face for two reasons. Anger was starting to form on my face, but my face was red from being face-to-face with him. His expression went from confusion to annoyance and anger.

"There's nothing to talk about." His voice raised slightly, I clenched my hands, my nails digging into my palms. "Why won't you talk to me?!" I yelled at him, tears forming in my eyes "What did I do?!" He just looked away from me, knowing I wasn't going to get an answer. I pulled my dog tags out of my shirt. I swiftly grabbed his tags and pulled them off from around my neck, I slapped it down behind him. I turned around and walked to his door, opening it. "Xerxes, Baron, let's go," I called out to my dogs who jumped up and followed me out of the room.

For the next month, I completely avoided him. Herc tried to get me to talk to him but I refused. I always ate in my conn-pod. I always went to the base's gym late at night when no one was there. Jacob was worried, I could feel it through the drift, he noticed I was distracted. I was and I was miserable. Every part of me just wanted to run to Chuck and tell him how much he means to me but my mind was telling me that he didn't want me. He clearly displayed that.

On Chuck's birthday, I made sure I stayed in my room the whole day but that was short-lived when Marshall Pentecost called Jacob and me down to his office. When I entered the room I saw Chuck and herc standing by the Marshall's desk. Before I could even think about leaving Jacob was pushing me towards the front, and the door closed behind us. The marshall stood up from his desk. Herc and Jacob went by the marshall as he moved out from behind his desk. "It's been brought to my attention that you two are having some sort of problem." The marshall starts, clasping his hands in front of him. Chuck and I don't glance at each other. I keep my distance from him, Jacob is looking at me with his disappointed older brother face. "I've noticed that it has significantly affected your performance as pilots," I cross my arms in front of me, I admit I have been very tired since I've been up late working out. "So I've decided that you two will stay in Ranger Hansen's room until the problem gets solved. Hercules, Jacob, if you could please." The marshall motioned to us, but before we could protest he glared at us, "That is an order." Not wanting to get on his bad side we both let Herc and Jacob lead us to Chuck's room.

When we arrive at the door they open it and shove us inside. The door closes quickly. We stand in silence before I take a seat on the floor near the door. He sits on his bed, head in his hands. I pull my knees up to my chest, leaning my head back and looking at the ceiling. The silence is killing me so I pull my iPod out, plug in my headphones, and select my playlist. I hit play as I push the earbud into my left ear. I tap my foot along to the music and close my eyes. I can feel Chuck's eyes shift to me but I don't look at him. Tears start to prick at the corners of my eyes. Opening my eyes I turn my head away from Chuck.

"I-i don't know what I did to make you hate me…" I speak more to myself than to Chuck. I hear him click his tongue, and a faint curse leaves his lips. He stands up and moves to lean against the wall opposite me. "I don't hate you love." He hits the wall lightly in frustration, "It's the exact fucking opposite…" He turns to face me, as the tears run down my face. I stand up with anger, "What the fuck does that mean?!" I yell at him, I press pause on my music and take out my earbud. He takes a step forward looking away for a second, "I'm in love with you God dammit!" He yells out in frustration, raising clenched fists for a second. He turns around sighing, running his hand through his hair.

"What…?" My voice comes out in a small squeak, not sure if I heard him. "I'm in love with you. But I heard you and your brother talking about someone, he was talking about how you wanted to screw someone you liked." He turned back to me with his hands on his hips. "I just knew you weren't talking about me and I just got so pissed. And then that guy from your crew was talking about your body at lunch and I just saw red." He explained. I heard what he said but it didn't process, I was still stuck on one thing. "You're in love with me?" I looked up at him, my face frozen in surprise. He scoffed "That's all you can focus on?" He looked away from me and I smiled softly. I quickly grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down, smashing my lips against his.

He pulled back quickly "What are you-" but I didn't let him speak, pulling his face down again. He kissed back roughly, placing his hands on my hips, pulling me closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck. When I needed air I pulled back, a smile on my lips. "We were talking about you." He cocked his head to the side, raising his eyebrow, "Jacob and I. We were talking about you, you are the only one that has been on my mind for the past 5 months." He smirked. He stepped back for a second realizing something, he walked to his dresser. Grabbing something off of it he walked back to me. He lifted his hand, dropping the object, revealing his spare dog tags dangling from his hand. But he didn't put them around my neck, he put them around his, then took off his main pair.

Transferring his main dog tags from his neck to my neck. I looked down at the tags, before looking up at him as he placed his hands on my hips. "Take my real ones, to show that I'm yours." He smiled softly, I got an idea, I took my dog tags off my neck, and put them over his head. "Then take mine, to show im yours." smiling he pulled me back in for another kiss. Our lips moved in sync, he tapped the back of my thigh signaling me to jump. I jumped up, his hands hooked under my legs. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pushed my back against the wall. His mouth moved from mine, down my jaw to my neck. He moves around my neck kissing, biting, and sucking marks into my skin. His hips slowly grind into mine as I moan out his name. He pulls back, admiring his work on my skin, he looks into my eyes, kissing me again. This time it's slow, sweet, and delicate.

Pulling away I whisper to him, “Ya’know you were pretty hot when you were angry at that guy.” he smirks at my words, and he responds in a low raspy voice, his accent going straight to my core “I reckon I should get mad more often then ay?” I bite my lip slightly. “That day I fell on the treadmill, was because of you…” I slowly confessed, “You were just so hot in that tank top, all sweaty.” it seemed as if my words went straight to his pants. He nodded signaling me to keep going, “I couldn't keep my eyes off you, you do things to me that no one else can.” I lightly kissed his jaw, whispering sensually to him. “You dont know how much self-restraint it takes me to not touch you like I want to.” I sucked a few hickeys into his neck earning some groans from him.

“You have no idea what you do to me darlin’...” his voice comes out as a groan, I moan as his hips rub into mine again. He pulls back, bringing me away from the wall and over to his bed. He sits down with me in his lap, he rubs circles into my back as he looks at me. “Im sorry I was such a dickhead to you…” he apologized softly, “You dont deserve that.” I shook my head slightly. “It's alright Chuck, people make mistakes.” I placed a kiss on his lips, “Think of me as a birthday present from me because I love you and I want to be yours.” I smiled. He chuckled softly before kissing me, “Then this is the best birthday ever,” he smirked, “and right now I just want to unwrap my present from my girlfriend.” I laughed softly, as he slowly laid me on my back on his bed. He hovers over me as I give him the consent that he pleads for with his eyes. “Go ahead, handsome.” he quickly kisses me, running his hands along my body as his knee rests between my legs. He pulls back for a quick second “You better sit your pretty little ass next to me at dinner, I've missed you a lot, princess.” I giggle softly at him, “I've missed you too, hot stuff.” he smirks before pressing his lips hungrily against mine.

#x reader #oneshot #chuck hansen #mako mori #raleigh becket #pacific rim #hercules hansen #stacker pentecost #Chuck Hansen x reader #female reader #chuck hansen x y/n

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

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'Convincing' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Convincing"

"I don't know what I will do when we will get Adler back and I ain't going to be too friendly."

Chapter Summary : After discovering that the whole mission against Naga was an trap organized by Stitch, Yirina and the team are going back to base after this long day.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3200

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This mission was only an big trap widely destined for all of us. Stitch has used the perfect bait for that : saying that Adler was there before relocating to an safer location out of our sight and on top of that, he decided to use his old work before realizing that all of this Nova-6 threat in the region was fake, nothing in here was real, it was just an ambush but we somehow managed to get over it, trying to find intels about where could possibly Stitch has taken Adler...I can't believe all of this that happened and our mission was an failure....we lost precious people....for nothing....

Of course, me & Park directly go to see the others that was still there, saying that the Nova-6 threat was nothing and faked and for that, we had to check every blue barrels that we could find in the camp and for all of them, it was the same thing : nothing in them, not even some fake smoke....nothing. Everyone went pretty angry about seeing all of this as the man that they interrogated didn't tell too much before Wolf terminated him, knowing that we will have no more answers from him.

We took almost half an day to finish to secure the site to find anything else but like always, it was either nothing or something that was useless for us. After the night start to fall, we all decided to go back to base while others CIA agent will watch over the sector to make sure that Naga's remaining men doesn't try anything to take back the camp. During all the flight back, I didn't even pronounce an word and even Park didn't say something, both in our thoughts until the helicopter we used landed back to the base, Woods flying this thing.

"Okay, everyone out." Woods ordered after he landed the helicopter to the ground, turning his head to look at everyone.

"Sounds good for me." Wolf scoffed, still sounding angry as he got out of the helicopter while me, I was awaiting for everyone to get out before following them behind.

"I don't know how Hudson will take the news." Rivas expressed.

"Well, we'll see about that." Woods told her, taking his XM4 out of the chopper as I got out with Park at my side, still not opening our mouths at any seconds, walking with the group to meet with Hudson, awaiting for us as he was going out of the hangar

"How's the rest of the checkup happened ?" Hudson asked, the group arriving near him, smoking one of his cigarettes.

"It didn't went good to say." Woods started, his left hand behind his head to scratch it. "Not only Adler wasn't there but the Nova-6, it was faked."

"Faked ?" Hudson sighed, his eyes narrowed through his glasses.

"Yeah, the barrels, they were empty." Wolf continued at Woods's place to talk about it. "All of them, it was Grigoriev & Park who found out about it." He added, his eyes on both of us...slighty embarassed to be the center of it.

"And to add more, no survivors helped us to know more, we're in the dark." Rivas spoke up, crossing his arms towards Hudson.

"Damnit." Hudson breathed, his hands on his waist. "That's meaning that Naga is our only lead for the moment." He sighed again and I couldn't believe that Naga was the only person that could help us to actually find Adler....if only he will talk....

"The cleaning crew will check up if we missed anything but it's not certain that we will find anything else useful." Woods exclaimed, sounding an bit defeated in his words.

"Good." Hudson whispered, looking inside the hangar and I could see Song...sitting at Garrett's workplace....

"Is she..." I started, breaking the silence I put to myself before stopping myself.

"No, she's not fine if you want to know." Hudson replied harshly to me. "She came back with the few remaining members of Rivas recon team but she didn't speak an word since." He looked at her, with some sort of desesperation in his eyes. "Leave her be for now." He gestured, meaning that he wouldn't want anyone to actually speak to her.

"Where's Naga ?" Sims demanded.

"In the interrogation room in the back." Hudson pointed at the supposed room direction with his hands. "Guy was really beaten up...and his left hand got cut off, might need some time to know what we want." He added, mentioning what I did against Naga but I wasn't proud of it...because I didn't do it...I didn't pull the trigger.

"Everyone needs some rest, we will talk later about it, dismissed." Woods ordered, gesturing to the group to split up and everyone complied, going back inside the hangar but not me & Park who stayed outside in hidden sight.

"I don't think I can't talk to her, Park." I affirmed, thinking that Song is maybe dead angry against me before sitting down on the ground, my back against the hangar's wall.

"I don't know." She said in an broken voice, joining me at my side. "Garrett was like everything for Song and losing him...." She confirmed before stopping herself in her sentence, looking at her with tears in my eyes

"I know that you both counted on me to kill Naga, I know that you're not angry but Song...it's different." I admitted in an low voice, looking down at my feets. "Looking at her, sitting at his office, no, I can't do this."

"I don't want to force you, Yirina." Park stated, putting her arm behind my neck, sounding sad. "But even me, I can't talk with her about it." She continued.

"I can't do this but I'm sure I will have to do this at one moment." I told her as I was thinking to talk with Song but not tonight, I couldn't do it. "This..." I started, taking my ballistic knife off my jacket, the one given to me by Garrett. "He believed in me and me too but....here we are." I put the ballistic knife gently on the ground before looking in the horizon. "This fight is going to kill me before I can finish it."

"No, it will not kill you." Park protested in an normal voice, putting his left hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't tell you what happened after the crash...and before the attack on the camp." I told her, something I didn't really talk about for the day.

"Tell me." She whispered, looking at me worried.

"Adler...I've got an vision of him, thinking at first it was really him before realizing that it was just something to torture me." I started, joining my hands together, seeing them cleaned from all of the blood I had hours ago. "Then, I saw....Lazar." I snorted, passing my hand through my face to clean any tears falling in case. "And two memories." I added.

"Shit." Park breathed, an bit disturbed by what she just heard from me.

"An memory of me, having an discussion with Perseus himself in my old apartment and seeing that I wasn't well in those days and....the other, it was me getting beaten up by Adler." I continued to tell her what she wanted to know, looking at her with crying eyes. "Tell me, do you know why I wasn't talking ?" I asked her.

"No, I don't know why." She shook her head sadly to me. "Adler was always evasive about that and he even refused me access to some files the CIA made about you between the day you got captured and the day I joined his team." She added, making me curious about those files. "But you have to ask Sims for that." She suggested to me, biting her lips

"Do you know why he did this ?" I questioned but her response was an shaking from her head. "So, Sims is the only one who can tell...." I sighed.

"Don't worry, if you want, I can be there for you like I'm always saying." She proposed, making me grin but an very little.

"Yeah, like you always saying...thanks." I whispered, moving to make an little kiss on her cheek for one second. "Listen, I think you need to go get some rest." I suggested.

"And you ?" She demanded.

"I want to make an call and if possible, talk to Sims." I responded, slowly getting up and helping her too to get up. "Don't worry, I'll be fine." I affirmed, making an little kiss again on her forehead before I let her go back inside.

It took me actually 5 minutes to get myself back inside the hangar, getting my equipment back at its place on the desk me & Park used but keeping my M1911 with me and during all of that, I was trying to not make eyes contacts with Song, not wanting to provoke her or to talk to her right now. She was so sad and crying in silence that I wanted to keep my eyes away from her, not wanting myself to cry again, she was in pain...and I can understand that.

Once I was done of getting rid of my equipment, I walked slowly to get to the room where the secured lines were located to make the call I mentioned to Park. I wanted to talk with Zasha, keeping them updated about the situation and it would make me better to hear their voice after 2 days of not having an discussion betwenn us but with what happened, I couldn't be so sure about been better.

"Zasha Smirnov." I heard their voice through the phone only after one ringing from it. Guess that they were not very busy at the moment.

"It's...Yirina." I whispered in an low voice, trying to sound good.

"Oh hey, it's good to hear your voice to say." They affirmed in an pleased voice.

"Yeah, me too." I said but my voice was betraying my real state and I knew that I couldn't keep it to be honest. "Zed, things didn't go as planned."

"What ? What are you saying ?" They asked, hearing them getting redressed in their chair maybe.

"Today, we had an mission in the jungle to stop Naga, save that Adler & neutralize the Nova-6 threat." I started, sounding mostly bad to talk about it. "I...we lost Garrett."

"No." One simple word but I could hear the shock in their voice. "He...no, you can't say that." They told me, sounding sad too before realizing that I was saying the truth to them.

"He saved me by sacrificing himself, Zed." I said, snorting.

"Shit, I'm...I'm sorry." They apologized even if they weren't aware of it. "I...he was an good guy, Yirina." They affirmed, their voice almost cracking. "Uhm, you maybe want to talk about something else ?"

"Uhm...yeah." I breathed, not even sure of my words.

"Well, Portnova's new job is very nice to say." They started, trying to sound positive even with the news I brought them "She has some good students with her and her colleagues greeted her well." They added, making me grin to hear that.

"That's good to hear." I expressed. "And what about you, Zasha ?" I questioned them, wanting to know more about their job at the MI6.

"Like I told you 2 days earlier, it's fine." They admitted, taking an deep breath. "Is there something you want to say ?" They asked after some few seconds of silence between us.

"Yeah, I want to know something about me, only if you know." I exclaimed, redressing myself to look if anyone wasn't near the door like Hudson did 2 days. "Do you know why I was sick in the end of December 1980 ?"

"Why you were sick ?" They repeated an bit confused. "Wait, let me think." They added, hearing some scratching. "As I remember, you weren't willing to talk about this." They finally replied, making me breath in defeat. "Even with me & Portnova, you never said why you were like that."

"Not even an idea ?" I suggested.

"Not even an idea." They repeated again my words.

"Shit, I would have like to know." I expressed an bit deceived to not learn anything new about this particular situation. "It's okay if you don't know, I will surely find it one day." I affirmed, scratching the back of my head, seeing no one entering the room. "There got to be an reason for that." I thought to myself in an silent voice.

"I can't help you with that but is there anything else I can maybe help ?" They demanded, curious.

"No, we had nothing to help us : the mission was an trap for us, the Nova-6 threat was faked and Adler was already taken away." I replied, almost angry and urging to punch an wall but that wasn't going to help me. "Naga is now our only lead."

"Damnit, Naga isn't the type of guy that will talk easily, it will take time for that." They said as they know him well, thinking about the memory where me & Zasha met him.

"I know but we'll find an way, I hope." I chuckled, raising my shoulders. "Listen, I have to make some things and take an big rest, I had an long day."

"Yeah, what you said....shit, it's very hard to hear about, I'm sorry again, Yirina." They apologized again, sounding bad again. "You call me back when you have something or maybe if you want to talk about things." They added.

"Don't worry, I'll call you." I grinned a little about it. "Say hello to Portnova for me & Park."

"Like always, say my hello to Park too." They told me in an half-pleasant voice. "Bye."

"Bye." I whispered before I hang up the phone, leaving me alone in that room and to say, that call didn't really make me feel better at all.

With that call ended, I wasn't sure if I was really going to leave that room, fearing to dump on Song but I got some courage in me and I left the room, wanting now to have an talk with Sims if it was possible, it was better for me to talk to him now instead of waiting too long for that, it was an perfect occasion. Luckily, he was one of the few remaining persons inside the big hangar, the others has already left to get to the dorm.

"Sims !" I called him out as he was sit at his desk alone, checking up an old picture of him & Adler as I could see it, arriving at his desk.

"Yes ?" He slowly turned his head around to look at me, curious.

"Can we have an word ?" I demanded and he nodded.

"Is this about earlier this day ?" He asked me, referring to that moment before I got to Naga or that moment when he asked to lower my gun & spare Naga's life...couldn't tell... "You know, I would have shot the bastard too but if he can help us by having Adler back..."

"Naga is an warlord, Sims." I exclaimed, crossing my arms as I leaned against his office. "It's going to take days to get him talk and even, if he's going to talk." I added, sure that Naga will not crack easily.

"I know." He breathed, looking back at the old picture he had in hands : him & Adler at the 'old times'.

"About Adler, I want to know some things." I started, finally getting into the subject with him. "There's things that it's disturbing me."

"I guess so." Sims whispered, putting down the picture on his desk. "What kind of things ?" He demanded.

"Well, do you know why I wasn't talking at all 3 years ago ?" I directly asked.

"Uhm...you want to talk about this ?" He said, looking an bit disturbed as there were some few peoples around us. "We should get outside for that." He proposed, getting up from his chair as I follow him outside, it was true that the subject was not something to be an common topic to talk about. "Yirina, I...."

"Just tell me why !" I cut him gently in his words, seeing his hesitation.

"I'm sorry but I don't know." He told me, making me roll my eyes.

"You...you don't know ?" I raised an eyebrow to him, not believing him at first. "You were with Adler and as I heard from Park, the CIA has made some files about me between the day I was captured and the day that Park arrived in Adler's team, files that she wasn't allowed to access." I continued, clear in my voice.

"And me too." He affirmed, making my eyes go wide.

"What ?" I breathed, sounding an bit shocked.

"The files you're talking about, they were all made by Adler and only him could have access them, not even me." He admitted, pointing at himself and looking away in the horizon. "Unfortunately, after Solovetsky, Adler told me he destroyed every files about you except the ones Park saved at the old safehouse."

"So, there's no way for me to know why I wasn't talking ?" He sadly shook his head to my question.

"You could still ask him, you know." He suggested but as we all know, it's hard these times. "I don't know what he did to you to be honest." He added to his statement, taking an deep breath.

"And also....how the CIA wasn't able to find out that Adler lied to them about having me in an coma ?" I questioned Sims about this, awaiting for an answer.

"Adler is the guy whose words are meaning an lot, so when he told the bosses that you were dead, everyone believed him." He replied, sounding an bit disturbed to tell this at my face. "Adler is convincing, to say."

"Yeah, pretty convincing !" I repeated those particulars words, meaning an lot from me. "Like he pretended to make me feel secure & safe by working with him, right ?" I expressed, remembering his words, trying to convince of his 'goods' intentions towards me. "Sims, were you aware of my state ?"

"No." He shook his head, closing his eyes. "Like everyone else, I thought someone else killed you but not him."

"You know the man for almost 15 years, Sims." I stated, looking at the picture he took with him in his hands. "Do you ever think that he lied to you at one moment ?" I asked him honestly, almost knowing the response in advance but I wanted to know what Sims was thinking of it.

"Maybe, doc' is always hiding something from everyone, Yirina." He answered, passing his hand through his head before looking at me with good eyes. "I never asked but how's memories ?" He demanded, curious.

"Fine, they're recovering but I still need answers." I responded, a bit embarassed to talk about it to him. "It could be memories from my time in the safehouse 3 years ago or memories of my past life ?"

"You don't remember some moments inside the safehouse ?" Sims was sounding confused to hear me saying that as I nodded. "Shit."

"Must be the bullet Adler shot me that did provoke that." I pointed at my scar on the side of my head rapidly. "I don't know what I will do when we will get Adler back and I ain't going to be too friendly." I said to Sims to be honest before deciding to slowly walk away from Sims, wanting to get some rest. "Thank you for talking with Sims."

"You know that I'm willing to help too in case, Yirina." He affirmed to me before removing himself from the wal he was leaned against. "Remember that you're not alone, we're here to help." He added, causing me to stop in my walk to look at him with an little smile.....

"I know, Park is always there for me but also you're an friend to me, Sims..."

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