#just the local cryptid chilling with his lovely wife

[arcanewonder]

lazy summer afternoon.

#the sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 render #sofia #kip #guiding lights #hmm i can't believe it's already beach time #just the local cryptid chilling with his lovely wife #nothin' to see here #also i've been staring at this thing for five hours #i still hate it #beachbabes2022

[jacqcrisis]

more lumberyard monster stuff including characters and monster anatomy. putting under read more cause LONG

characters: 

Sixer: monster man. no idea what he is or where he came from, only that he doesn’t want to go back. is generally playful, lazy, incredibly quick to learn, curious, and a trouble maker when he’s bored. loves his tv, the dog, eating, annoying Dale, sleeping, and Alvin. 

Alvin: lover boy. Tony’s nephew. Started working at the lumberyard not long before they found Sixer. is kind of quiet, gentle, relatively down to earth, clearly beat down already even in his mid-twenties, not helped by his verbally abusive and manipulative girlfriend who eventually becomes his fiancee as he doesn’t know how to get out of the relationship. loves working with him hands, modding/fixing things, old cars, all kinds of music, and chilling with Sixer.

Tony: the dad guy. first generation American. mom immigrated to U.S. from Mexico. loves motorcycles, making people smile, and his wife. is second pony to the owner, runs the saws, and is basically the lumberyard’s HR department. has four kids and is all-around a nice guy. see’s the yard crew as a second family. Named Sixer for his six limbs and is very proud of that fact. Thinks of him as his ‘buddy’.

Charlie: bull dyke owner. Took over the yard from her father. is happily married to a law professor. loves bourbon, her motorcycle, and her dog. used to smoke, has the smoker’s voice and laugh, and chews nicotine gum like her life may depend on it. is tough but fair. pretty no nonsense with most of her workers, but Tony who is both a family friend and her second in command and Sixer, who she dotes on in her own way.

Dale: Shitty guy. Hates paying child support. Just the worst. An HR nightmare before Sixer came along to keep him in place.

Brian: Alvin’s friend who also works at the yard. Likes to drag race, pick up chicks, and kind of instigates Dale even if he doesn’t mean to. Is kind of ambivalent to Sixer but likes the novelty of having this weird monster at the yard

McKenzie: cashier girl/secretary. Doesn’t work in the yard itself, but spends all day inside answering the phone and cashing out orders. Single-mother in her early twenties and Charlie allows her to bring her kid to work when she can’t get a babysitter especially with Sixer around cause he likes watching the kid. Kind of stuck up, kind of a party girl, but is fun to be around.

Scruff: Is a dog. Some kind of large shepherd mix. Loves to follow Sixer and is the one who initially found him on a rainy afternoon, injured and hiding behind the saw mill.

Angela: Charlie’s wife. visits the yard from time to time. Tony calls her the big boss because everyone watches themselves when she’s around. Is beloved by all save for Dale. Sixer has some kind of crush on her.

Monster anatomy bits: 

- Sixer is a strange mixture of ape, panthera, and reptile in body shape, while gait swaps between felid and simian depending on the situation. is capable of sitting on his haunches to get a better look around and capable of walking for a limited time on two legs, though very awkwardly. hips generally sit lower to the ground than shoulders while walking on all fours as forelimbs are slightly longer than backlegs. is capable of reaching speeds of 35mph for an extremely limited time and can leap up to 30ft horizontally though is capable of walking for days on end if needed.

- is covered in large golden brown plated scales that are smooth to the touch. from the shoulder to just before the hips are large thick black spines ranging in length that can be raised and lowered at will to be flush against the back or stand straight up. spines are used to sense vibrations and temperature changes in the air to make up for piss poor hearing. also has some very vibrant neon blue markings that show up after his winter shed during the springtime along his back and sides and that fade by mid-summer. 

- skull and face shape is vaguely human in that it is forward facing and very flat though with noticeable differences. face is covered in smaller thinner scales. eyes are larger, green-yellow in color with round pupils and has two sets of eyelids, one for blocking out light, the other for blocking out dust, debris, and water while still maintaining sight. nostrils are almost flush to the face and also large, covered by sensitive receptors that are activated by a chemical in his saliva, excellent at smelling. brow has bumpy ridges that stick out instead of eyebrows. jawbone is bisected and each side is capable of limited independent movement. has no lips. tongue is long and teeth are more ape like. has no external ear and is genuinely not great at hearing unless someone it talking directly at him. has a crop of black hair/fur on top of head that never grows longer than inch along with a few more psuedo-horns around the crown that are dull.

- six limbed. two hind legs and four arms, each ending in a foot/hand with four digits. one set of arms is slightly larger than the other and has larger claws and are used primarily for locomotion, climbing, and fighting/hunting. other set used for more delicate work. scales on the palms of smaller hands are notably thinner and more sensitive to touch for tool work, affection, and object manipulation. Tony jokingly calls the larger arms his ‘fightin’ arms’ and the smaller ones his ‘doin’ arms’

- from head to tip of tail, Sixer is about 12 feet long and from shoulder to ground when on ‘all fours’ stands at about 4 feet tall. tail makes up 30% of body length, is neither stiff nor prehensile, and is capable of a limited amount of wagging closer to the tip, generally used to signal mood though can be used to whip antagonizers.

-he sheds twice a year, the process taking about two weeks from start to finish and these have been dubbed as ‘hell weeks’ by the crew because they have a massive grumpy snappy itchy monster who rubs himself on every rough surface up to and including the buildings, forklifts, the lumber, any unfortunate cars, the fence, and Alvin for 12-16 days. the best way to deal with it is to hose him down twice a day or provide a small pool for him to soak in and give up on trying to get the garage broom from him which he uses to brush himself.

- opportunistic omnivore that can eat almost anything. to lead a healthy diet, requires 70% meat/organ/bone and 30% veg. while svelte, he actually gains a little extra belly cause of the access to a local deer/rabbit overpopulation and the crew just giving him food all the time. 

- has a range of vocalizations and i still haven’t decided if he’s capable of speech or if it’s severely limited and the crew teach him to use asl cause it would make sense if he couldn’t form most words given mouth anatomy and I like it better than unexplained telepathy. i’ll probably go with that.

- genitalia are internal and male in nature. 

monster man and the lumberyard extra bits i thought of:

- Tony gives Sixer a T.V. but it’s only hooked up to local channels so at night he watches a lot of bad television and soap operas.

- Sixer starts crushing on Alvin very quickly, but does not understand how to romance Anyone, so he tries to do a mixture of whats instinctual for him and what he sees on bad T.V. Alvin brushes it off for years, thinking Sixer is Just Like That. it takes him a bit to realize he’s catching feelings because while he is book smart, he also is, regrettably, a himbo

- some sneaky government thing is looking for him. so is a local cryptid hunting group. They get alerted cause some hunters find the remains of deer who’s wounds look nothing like something a local predator could do. no one suspects to look in the dusty lumberyard, of course.

- for holiday parties and get togethers, either Charlie or Tony always hand off a bunch of food to Alvin, telling him to go give it to the ‘old man next door’ so he can get away from his fiancee for a bit and so Sixer doesn’t miss out on the festivities

#jacq writes #we'll call this a character exercise #monster design is a bit of a recycled one but thats okay #i like worldbuilding #its fun #the one about the lumberyard

[ahatintimestorybook]

Coffee Shop AU- Magic Duel Part 1

So this is how this story happened! Me: *working on the next chapter of Humanity in Time and one new story* Brain: What if I wrote a duel between Hat Kid and Queen Vanessa. Me: *goes to my upcoming stories list and writes it down!*

So yeah I was going to be focusing on the OtH!AU fanfics, but my brain wants to write more Coffee Shop AU stuff. I have so many ideas, but some I want to hold off till the creator, @doodledrawsthings confirms them.

This story is also a bit shorter, only two chapters but I hope you like it!

Enjoy!!

‘Coffee Shop’ AU belongs to @doodledrawsthings 

Today was the day. It was finally Summer Vacation and the kids over in Subcon can finally relax and enjoy their break. The teens over in the high school and a few from the junior high were excited as they would be spending their time camping, looking for the legendary Snatcher.

At the elementary school though, many of the kids were leaving town going on vacations or staying by town to help out their families at their jobs. “So are you going to do anything fun this summer, Mu?” Harriet asked.

Mu sighed in disgust. “I gotta help my ma at the local bakery, plus because of my cryptid hunting I’m on a strict sleeping schedule!” She complained.

Bonnie then spoke up. “Well that’s what you get for being up all night looking for the Snatcher and were found ready to crack at the drop of a hat.” She explained. Mu crossed her arms and puffed up her cheeks not wanted to be reminded of that night. Harriet chuckled thinking what happened with Mu was funny.

Mu heard her best friend’s giggles and turned to face her. “What about you Harriet? What are you doing this summer?” She asked.

Harriet thought about that. As much as she wanted to do a lot of summer vacation stuff with her dad, however due to his condition it was hard to do any fun summer stuff with him. Though she was glad MJ and Clover, her father’s co-workers offered to take her and her friends anywhere this summer. At least this would be her first summer where she and her dad are in one place, as usually summer is the time they would move again.

“Honestly just regular summer stuff like hiking, swimming, all that stuff. Can’t do a vacation like everyone else.” Harriet explained.

Mu smiled and put her arm around Harriet. “Well that’s good, we can do more camping and sleepovers at my place.” She suggested. Harriet nodded glad Mu had ideas to help make her summer fun.

Bonnie smiled glad she would be with her friends this summer, hopefully. As they walked she turned behind her and saw a black car following them. Bonnie gulped hoping it was just a car looking for a house or just passing by. She didn’t want to alert her friends because it would end up with Mu shouting at them, and probably would get the person to murder all three of them. With that Bonnie ignored the car and kept following her friends towards the Horizon, the coffee shop in Subcon where Harriet’s father, Luka worked.

Though Bonnie should of been weary of the car, and a sinister smirk appeared on the driver’s face. “I found you.” She sang as she followed the young girls towards their destination.

At the Horizon coffee shop, many of the teens showed up as their hurrah to finishing school, which made business booming at the coffee place. Luka and Clover were rushing orders as MJ was the one taking them. When Harriet and her friends arrived they were shocked with how busy this place was.

“This place is usually quiet, what happened?” Mu asked.

Clover took notice of the girls and waved to them. “Hey girls!” She called out.

“Hey Clover, what’s with the crowd?” Harriet asked.

Clover sighed. “Since its the last day of school many of the high schoolers come here as a celebration.” She explained. “Its the most exhausting day till Pumpkin Spice season.”

“Be grateful this is one day only. I mean isn’t Pumpkin Spice season like three to four months of chaos?” Mu asked. Clover glared at the blonde haired girl, not wanting to handle any sas talk today. Mu nervously chuckled and apologized before the girls sat down at a free table to just talk and hang out.

Harriet smiled and waved to her dad who just got done serving drinks to a few people. Luka smiled and waved to his little girl, which made the latter giggle. To this young girl, her first summer staying in town is going to be great! She has friends, her dad’s friends understand his curse, and she doesn’t have to leave town anymore! “This is going to be a great summer.” She said to herself.

Or so she thought.

Soon the doors swung open and Harriet and Luka felt a cold chill run through them. “Hello my love.” Luka gulped knowing that voice. He turned to see his ex-wife Vanessa entering the coffee shop with a smirk written all over her face.

Luka growled seeing his ex-wife showing up at his work of all places. Harriet got nervous ready to get out of her seat and sprint out the back door to be safe.

Despite their first time seeing her, but also hearing everything about her, Mu and Bonnie felt the cold chill as Vanessa walked through the door. MJ and Clover too glared seeing Vanessa. “Just what is she doing here?” Clover asked.

“I don’t know.” Luka replied. He left the front counter and walked up to his ex-wife. “Vanessa, what are doing here?” He asked trying to keep a calm tone, so he wouldn’t get fired or even his secret to be uncovered.

Vanessa gave a fake gasp. “Why Luke, can I visit my family during the first day of summer break for our little Hattie.” Vanessa cooed walking up to her daughter and her friends. Harriet whimpered and held on to Mu and Bonnie tightly for protection.

Mu glared at the woman as a warning that if she laid a finger on her best friend she wouldn’t be afraid to attack. Bonnie however, was scared like Harriet and hugged her tight too.

“I think we should talk somewhere privately.” Luka suggested.

Vanessa smirked, but it quickly disguised itself as a smile. She gave a clap as she said, “That would be nice Luka. Harriet would you come join us in this conversation?” She asked.

Harriet was about to speak to decline the offer, but the memories of the arguments, as well as knowing what her mother could do if she wasn’t there for her father scared her. With a sigh Harriet got up from her seat as she followed her family to the back of the Horizon Coffee Place to be alone.

MJ, Clover, Mu and Bonnie looked at one another and soon the girls ran to the back of the restaurant to check up on their friend. MJ and Clover looked at the girls and back at each other, “We should listen in on what Luka and his ex are talking about.” Clover suggested.

MJ nodded. “I agree.” He then sighed. “I’m worried for what’s going to happen to him and Harriet, especially Harriet.” MJ and Clover soon followed the girls and listened through the door, and too their surprise there was very little shouting and fighting.

“So.” Luka started. “What are you doing here, Vanessa?” He asked again.

“Plus, how did you know where we are?” Harriet added.

Now that Vanessa got her family alone, she finally showed her true colors to them. “Like what you called me the day we parted ways Luka, I’m a witch. Technically and physically.” She explained. “When I first saw you move away I had to find some eyes to keep watching over you. You guys moved so many times that I couldn’t even catch up.”

Luka glared at his ex-wife. All this time after she cursed him to become a monster, she had been following them around like a ghost to make sure she wasn’t finished with her revenge plot. “I thought turning me into a ghost was enough for you. What more do you want?” Luka asked, getting upset.

Vanessa glared. “I was supposed to make your suffer, Luka Princeston.” She scowled. “How can you be so happy with your life after what I did to you?” She asked.

“I have Harriet to take care of!” Luka shouted back. “And my friends know about the secret! Thank you very much, but they never pushed me away! Unlike what you did to Harriet!”

Not even once, did Vanessa flinch at Luka’s outburst. “Your right.” She replied in a whisper.

“What?” Luka asked, confused over his ex-wife’s reply.

“Your right. I wasn’t there for our daughter.” She answered. Vanessa turned towards her daughter, who jumped back seeing the evil sinister look on her. “But what if I was there for her now.”

Luka growled, his eyes glowing yellow for a split second as he put his arm in front of Harriet to protect her. “Don’t your dare touch her!” He growled.

Vanessa laughed. “Oh Luka, protective over a child then your first true love, your childhood friend for life.” She growled back.

“I’m protective of her because I love her. You’ll never learn to love her. All you’ll ever do is treat her horribly like the evil step-mother from Cinderella.” Luka shouted back. As he got angry his hand started to turn black showing that he was about to transform back to his monster form.

Vanessa chuckled seeing this, she just needed to push Luka a little more further. “What if I did learn to love her, care for her, treat her as you treat her.” She said walking closer. “What if I trained her to use magic make her turn into a witch like me?”

“Like HELL you would!” Luka snapped, at hell his voice echoed like usual when he was in his monster form. “My daughter will NEVER EVER TOUCH MAGIC! NOT WHEN YOUR AROUND!” He shouted.

Harriet felt tensed. If only her father knew what she had been doing behind her father’s back then this would be as bad as it is now. As she was in her thoughts, Luka was halfway into transforming till MJ and Clover came barging in.

“Alright that’s enough!” Clover shouted. She and MJ were armed spoons to protect Luka and Harriet from their former family member. “Take one more step towards the child and our friend and we’ll pummel you!” The girl threatened.

Vanessa stared at the two friends of her ex-husband before she snapped her fingers causing the spoons to wrap around Clover and MJ’s hands. Clover and MJ yelped at what Vanessa was capable of doing and feel to the ground tied up by spoons.

“Van let them go!” Luka shouted.

Vanessa chuckled. “Why Luka how rude of you.” She mocked. “I just want to meet your dear sweet friends.” She gave an evil snicker as she walked up to MJ. “You must be the Moone boy.” She said looking down at MJ. MJ just glared at his best friend’s ex-wife. Vanessa then turned to Clover. “And you must be dear sweet Clover. I’m so touched my dear Luka choose you over me.”

Clover glared wishing she could just punch Vanessa in the face, but with her hands tied up with her spoon she couldn’t. “We made it our choice to stay with him.” Clover growled back.

“Yeah after how you treated him and what you done, he’s lucky he has friends like us!” MJ shouted back.

Vanessa chuckled, and then it turned into laughter. Soon enough ice started to form around the group. “Vanessa! S-stop!” Luka shouted, now fully into his Snatcher form. Vanessa ignored her ex-husbands pleas and soon the ice surrounded the group almost trapping them in. Vanessa smirked she just needed Luka to give up and hand over Harriet to her.

However, it was Vanessa turn to be surprised.

“Mom stop!”Harriet shouted and soon a beam of white light came towards Vanessa, who blocked it with a ice shield. Vanessa, Luka, CJ and Clover turned to look at Harriet in a purple and yellow top hat with a button attached to it and an umbrella.

“H-Harriet w-what did you do?” Luka asked.

Harriet turned to her father. “I’m sorry dad.” She apologized in a whisper.

Vanessa then spoke up. “So,” she started. “You learned magic yourself too, Hattie.” Vanessa now was smiling impressed over her daughter’s skills. “I’m proud of you! Now come towards your dear sweet mommy and I can teach you mor-” She was cut off when Harriet pointed her umbrella towards her mother with a glare.

“How about a deal.” Harriet suggested.

Vanessa smirked, and soon started to loosen the ice from her ex-husband and his friends. “I’m listening.”

“We both used to be family, and we both know magic. Correct?” Harriet asked. Vanessa nodded. “Alright, then let’s duel.”

“W-What?” Luka asked surprised hearing his daughter’s deal for her mother. Vanessa smirked at this seeing Luka’s expression.

“So,” Harriet continued. “Let’s have a magic duel. You and me in the Subcon Woods, tomorrow early in the morning. If I win, I stay with dad, but if you win I’ll be with you during the summer.” She finished.

“Harriet! No!” Luka shouted.

Harriet ignored her father as her mom walked over to her. “Its deal Harriet. Tomorrow morning it be you vs me.” Vanessa said holding her hand out. Harriet looked at her mother’s hand, before reaching over to grab it and shake it.

Soon a blue aura went around their hands giving Harriet some pain. Soon the pain stopped and Vanessa let go of her daughter’s hands. Then Vanessa untied MJ and Clover and removed all of the ice from the area. Vanessa was just about to walk away, but stopped. “By the way Luka, if you stop her then I win by default.” She warned before walking away.

Luka growled at his ex-wife as she walked away leaving the group alone. Luka then turned to face his daughter upset at the fact that Harriet literally made a deal with the devil. “What were you thinking?” Luka growled.

Harriet turned to her father, frightened over his attitude. “D-dad let me explain!” She shouted.

Luka ignored his daughter’s pleas. “A-and now y-your learning magic! Like your mother!” He shouted.

“Dad please let me explain!” Harriet repeated. Rasing her voice a little.

Soon MJ defended her. “Luka please calm down and listen to what Harriet has to say.” He begged.

“Oh I sure hope Harriet has A LOT to explain to me.” Luka yelled. Harriet flinched as her father yelled. During her entire life with him she had never heard him yell at her like this before. Harriet rubbed her arm and looked down feeling like she disappointed her father somehow.

When Luka, who had to temporarily transform back into human in order to get home, MJ, Clover and Harriet were walking home after a long crazy day it was quiet. No one said a word to each other, and Harriet kept her head down not looking at anyone.

Once they made it back to the apartment, Harriet sat down on the couch and Clover came to join her to comfort her. “Your father will understand. I promise.” She whispered in a soothing tone. Harriet didn’t respond and just kept her head down.

“Alright.” Luka spoke up getting the girl’s attention. Luka faced Harriet who didn’t bat an eye towards her father. Luka sighed starting to feel calmer now. “Harriet. Look at me.” Harriet lifted her head slowly and looked up at her father. “When and how long did you know you can control magic?” He asked.

Harriet didn’t want to answer, but she knew it had to come out sometime. With a sigh she was able to tell her father everything. “A month after we moved here, I-I discovered I’m able to use magic, and sense magic as well.” Harriet started. “I’ve been training to learn and control my magic so I won’t end up like mom.” She explained. Luka soon made his way towards his daughter, which made her talk more of her training. “I-I never said anything because I know you’ll be mad, and will be scared I’ll be like mom, but this is for the good of everything!” Harriet sighed knowing nothing was convince her father. “I-If you want me to stop I’ll let Tim know.”

Luka put one hand on his daughter’s shoulder, which suprised her. “Harriet.” He started. “I’m disappointed you kept this from me for so long,” Harriet looked down giving a longer sigh then before, “but if you were doing this for good you could of told me.” He explained.

“I just didn’t want to mention magic in front of you.” Harriet revealed. “Magic causes nothing but trouble for you.”

Luka frowned knowing his daughter was right magic did cause him a lot of trouble even before him and Vanessa got married and divorced. “I know magic did cause a lot of trouble for me, but your not Vanessa.” He reassured.

Harriet smiled and hugged her father. Luka smiled and hugged her father back. She was glad Luka was understanding and didn’t disagree with this. “Now.” He started. “Your battling your mother, someone who is dangerous with magic.” He warned.

MJ then stepped up and put his hand on Harriet’s shoulder. “But, we believe in you! Kick your mom’s butt tomorrow!” He cheered.

“Yeah!” Harriet cheered. The four then shared a laugh, but Harriet stopped and looked down. “B-but what if I loose?” She asked. MJ, Clover, and Luka looked at each other. They knew the risk if Harriet looses the battle she’d have to live with her mother.

This scared Luka as Vanessa would be able to teach Harriet everything, or worse. He couldn’t show fear, he had to be brave for Harriet no matter what happens. “Will find a way to rescue you.” Luka reassured his daughter. Harriet smiled and hugged her father tight. “Now get some rest, you need it for your fight agonist your mom.”

Harriet nodded and ran to her room for some rest for her battle.

Tomorrow will be the day.

Tomorrow is the battle.

Tomorrow this battle will decide if Harriet stays or goes

#doodledrawsthings #'Coffee Shop AU' #Hat Kid #The Snatcher #The Prince #MoonJumper #MJ #the florist #Clover #mustache girl #Bow Kid #Queen Vanessa #ahit 'coffee shop au'

[bandtrees]

Hey could you tell us more about Petruccio? He looks quite chill and your OCs are cool.

aww thank you! i do love my ocs <33 the thing about petruccio is that he’s a very new character (and part of a duo with my friend @himepapillon‘s oc, who’s his wife :3) and i like to keep stuff about my new ocs under wraps, because i might use them for an rp or something and don’t wanna spoil peeps yk XD

buuut i can reveal very basic stuff about him! you won’t get to see what he looks like under the mask and robes juuust yet, but hopefully this suffices XD

as i’ve said he’s a botanist! and he lives in his little botany lab in the middle of nowhere (lived with his dad up until a point, then it was just him, then his wife moved in) - he’s very very secluded and isn’t around people much. he prefers plants tbh. for (SPOILER) reasons he was kinda a difficult child to raise which lead to his parents divorcing and his dad sticking with him, but his dad wasn’t really equipped to raise him either so despite his best efforts petruccio is just kinda this massive hermit who lives off books about botany and not much else.

this is pretty apparent the second you try and talk to him - for starters, he’s almost completely mute, and will write stuff down if offered, but for the most part he’s just kinda like. I Will Gesture And If You Don’t Get What I’m Saying That’s On You. not really in a rude way just a... he doesn’t really wanna learn social customs way. all he needs is his wife and their 500 plants yk.

also not pictured in his ref but he’s got one of those plague doctor sticks. for 1. pointing to things 2. bonking people who get too close. he really doesn’t like when people get too close

despite being hard to really talk to, he’s a pretty chill and pleasant guy if you’re patient with him and don’t mind him being super roundabout and vague. it’s just kinda how he is, really - it’s not something he stresses over, he’s more like, “i’m living life my own way and it’s nobody else’s responsibility to understand my weird self and my weird wife and our weird lab”

he met his wife hortensia when they were younger. she got lost in the forest around his lab and he patched her up n stuff. and they communicated by letter n stuff for a while. it’s cute. they’re very in love

personality stuff aside, he’s something of a local cryptid to townspeople - just this weird plague doctor dressed guy living in a lab in the forest on the outskirts of town. he minds his own business but it’s still a weird sight i imagine. 

this wasn’t super insightful, but again i wanna keep some mystery to him for now XD hopefully this suffices! i can always go more indepth in dms if you want ;]

#babbles #oc #petruccio

[clockworksalsa]

Dream Daddy CRYPTID AU

Jospeh: a demon-possessed youth pastor, of course. Mary knows and begrudgingly accepts that her loving husband shares a body with a malevolent entity. You can catch him dragging his latest kill through the woods, or hosting weekend barbecues and showing you his latest grill maneuvers.

Damien: the local vampire. Not actually old enough to have been alive in the Victorian era, but he certainly appreciates the aesthetic. He enjoys moonlit walks in the cemetery and napping together in a king-size coffin. You assure him that it's perfectly alright for a century-old cryptid to work in the technology sector.

Brian: a very loyal and friendly werewolf. Beware- if you throw a stick for Maxwell to fetch, there's a good chance that Brian will also run after it. Loves frisbees, his beautiful daughter, and full moons. You spend the weekends camping with him and Daisy, making sure they remember to come home before the sun rises.

Mat: a siren. Never sings any more, if he can help it. He and his wife used to travel the country bewitching teens with their voices for fun (no one was ever hurt, of course) until they were found out and she was murdered. He hates large crowds, loud noises, and decaf. Sometimes, you can convince him to play for you, and it's beautiful and haunting. If you listen closely, he hums under his breath.

Hugo: an earth-loving alien. He and his son aren't new to the planet; they've lived in the cul-de-sac for quite some time, but Hugo never gets any less fascinated with human beings. He particularly has a fondness for literature and the sport of wrestling- he'll talk your ear off with all of the oddball facts he knows about either subject.

Craig: a psychic. He can see ghosts, and they often come to him begging for help. Between keeping up with his kids, coaching a softball team, running a business, and speaking with the dead, the poor guy runs himself into the ground. He never lets it show, though. You hold him in your strong Dad Arms to ward the cold chill away, and you do your best to ignore his extra shadow.

Robert: completely and totally human. Also obsessed with cryptids. He's convinced that they are out there, he tells Jospeh as he flips another burger, looking dramatically out across the yard to the woods as Joseph adjusts the hot coals with his bare hands. He takes Damien hunting with him, even though his cloak keeps getting caught in the branches, because he has crazy good night vision. He gloats to Brian about the huge canine paw prints he found the other day, as Daisy has a conversation with Maxwell over the practicality of his handkerchief. Mat brews his coffee as Robert goes on and on about the mysterious nationwide phenomenon a few decades back, with kids going crazy after listening to some music- sirens, obviously. Mat shrugs uncomfortably and hands him his drink. He recounts to Hugo the night he almost got abducted, and Hugo tells him to stop being ridiculous, that doesn't even happen. Robert tells him that just because he reads some books, he doesn't know everything.

He complains to Craig about how cold his house always is, and how he always feels like he's being watched, probably because of his relentless pursuit of the truth. Craig eyes something behind him and promises to take care of it.

And you? Well, I don't know about you, but I want to believe.

#ddadds #cryptid #au #Robert #Joseph #Damien #Brian #mat #Hugo #Craig #dumb thing #self indulgent #of course

[ancient-poet]

Voicemail for The Sammy & Ben Show

Hey Sammy, Ben. You don’t know me but I’ve listened to your show and wanted to call in and share my experiences with the weird and unknown. So let’s start with the basics. My name is Lena, and I am from northern Vermont.

We, like many states, have our stories of cryptic beings, and apparitions. Champ, the northeast’s version of Kingsie. The legend of Emily’s Bridge, where a young woman was thought to have killed herself and is now haunting the area causing damage to cars and people who pass through. The stories of down on their luck townsfolk freezing their elderly family members during the winter to save much needed money.

These stories from the backroads of Vermont are, quite frankly, horrifying and unbelievable. And yet they are the stories I grew up with. And now the story I’m telling you.

I was driving along the highway and I saw it. The myth, the legend, the fictional character that I never could’ve imagined was real.

I pulled over and stepped out, no regards for the rain, I let it soak me until I felt the chill in my bones.

I don’t remember much, just the droplets of the waning storm and his eyes. Red, obscured by fog but shining through.

I never was a believer. I guess I felt like Sammy in that way among others. And no shade your way Shotgun, but when I first heard you on the radio you were angry. Resentful, but with a deep sadness behind your façade. Resigned to the fact that Jack was gone, just as I am resigned to the fact that my love is gone too. She wasn’t taken, just gone. Took the kids, left the divorce papers and gone. Your resentment and mine are not the same, but I felt it in your voice.

I remember throwing all of my shit in the back of my car, leaving my house keys on the counter and driving off. Leaving a voicemail for my now ex wife telling her that the house was hers, periodically interrupted by bursts of thunder. Driving towards the unknown.

I didn’t expect to encounter the unknown so soon in my journey. I saw the creature within the first few hours of driving. First as a shadow in the corner of my eyes. Red eyes like headlights in front of me, distant enough that I felt no fear. That was, until it was beside my window and swooping over my car.

The locals call it The Awful. A larger-than-life griffin like creature, with grey fur, a serpentine tail, and 20 foot wingspan. Stories of it go back to the early 1900s, with farmers talking about crops being flattened, and housewives telling tales of hiding under beds as The Awful prowled on their rooftops.

I was told the story as a precautionary measure to make sure I never left the house at night, or else The Awful would snatch me up and eat me. And sure as a kid I believed the tales of the folks in my town, but as I got older I stopped believing, and snuck out to meet boys, or meet girls, or to just get some much needed silence. Nothing but the chirping of crickets behind my internal monologue. But now having seen it, seen The Awful, I want nothing more than to see other cryptids, see other legends and myths.

I will call in every now and then to give updates on my journey. Adventure?

Until next time, Sammy, Ben. Until Next Time.

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