#kind of feel sorry for cursing you with this

[nemesiscthonic]

The worrying thing is I had this thought sober

#Power rangers #mmpr #mighty morphin power rangers #tommy oliver #i actually #kind of feel sorry for cursing you with this #But also in his defense he didn’t really take care of her in cat form #This man has a weird enough life it’s prolly least strange thing

[wildstar25]

G'raha looked so serious while he pleaded his case to venture into the World of Darkness with the Warrior of Light. The sudden conviction in his tone had Arsay at a loss for words. Still, she did not hesitate to meet his request with an accepting nod. He was an important friend and in the passing moons that they'd come to know each other, a strong fondness for him had taken hold of her. The prospect of helping G'raha find the truth behind his mysterious inheritance made Arsay's heart pound. It was the perfect venture for them to embark on. The first of many, she hoped. The two turned towards the impossibly tall spire that dared to pierce the heavens above. Arsay's resolve strengthened in its presence. When they next find themselves gazing at the tower -with their quest completed and the world no longer under threat of total destruction- she'll properly ask G'raha to be a companion in her travels. A grin crept its way onto her face as her gaze shifted to him. If Arsay could find it within herself to bare her heart to others so readily just as he does… perhaps their future adventures will find them together, hand in hand.

#ffxiv #wolgraha #WOL posting #G'raha tia #Arsay Nun #graharsay #idk just a random passage in my head that I needed to get out #im not a writer and im not pretending to be one but it was in my brain so sorry if its not as readable as I think it is #anyways imagine you are the loneliest catgirl in the world #and you meet a guy who is so swagless and cringe but in a charming way and he connects with you on a fundamental level #and you become really good friends and every time you show up he smiles in a way that makes your heart do somersaults #and you start thinking that maybe people actually like having you around not just when they need you to kill and destroy things #you let yourself open up a little and you're met with kindness and you realize you are very in love actually #but because you're still figuring out how to talk about your feelings you wait a little too long #and that guy seals himself up in a tower and tells you he'll think about your heroism in the future #and you are very sad and angry about this but thats not allowed so instead you put that energy to being the hero of all time #and every day you go to work you see the structure that reminds you of him and you cant let go of those what if feelings n ur cursed 5ever #would that be fucked up or what

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF ATTICAN TRAVERSE: KROGAN TEAM

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Urdnot Grunt With: Urdnot Wrex, Dr. Mordin Solus, Primarch Adrien Victus and The Rachni Queen I don't need luck- I have ammo. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #sophie shepard #james vega #EDI #urdnot grunt #urdnot wrex #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #i finally finished gif’ing traverse and this set is cursed is all i will say :) #i don’t know why this one was such a pain in the ass but compressing them was a massive chore for some reason #and my dumb ass realized as i was assembling i set the frame hold wrong for like 4 of them so i had to go back and redo a few of them 🙃 #the thing that pissed me off most is that there’s usually a nice planet shot with a normandy fly in to make a header from #and traverse just doesn’t fucking get one for some reason?? so ig we get rachni queen header #i’m so sorry but this is like my least favorite mission in the game 😭 #like i do like grunt but this mission is just meh on all fronts to me at least #like the decision from ME1 to spare or destroy the rachni queen is so fucking cool?? and it has 0 consequences in ME3 LMAO #not to mention that half of this mission is just standing around with a flame thrower burning down webs lol #the only cool thing i’ll say is i ADORE the Aliens™️/xenomorph vibes that the mission has!! that is so cool the first time around #the cutscenes are alright but there’s really only some towards the front end and the back end? so you miss so much of the middle #which makes it hard to connect what’s going on to make a best of: set lol #grunt has some nice scenes if you have him here and the rachni queen quotes are cool #the enemies are also kind of interesting in concept? i just wish the rachni decision from ME1 had more weight here #james and EDI have a few nice lines towards the front in the shuttle but there’s not a ton of great dialogue like grissom has tbh #idk this mission is just okay to me i guess? like the ardat-yakshi sanctuary with samara is much more interesting to me #i feel like this one needed longer to cook and the rachni deserved more weight in the mission based on your decision in ME1 #james and EDI looked cute like always!! and soph ate it up in cleric’s guardian armors for shepard (which continues to be gorgeous ❤️‍🔥✨) #idk seeing grunt and playing fashion dress up was the best part of this mission besides the wrex cameo at the end lmao

[lord-squiggletits]

Starting to realize that the reason I beef with Transformers canon and fanon is because it feels as if a lot of people involved either haven't read war stories as a genre or they haven't paid attention to real-life wars so their takes on "necessary evils" or "hypocrisy" or "pacifism" come off as overly simplistic

#squiggposting #djskdksjfs sorry i took a class on the war story genre in college #and am interested in the subject of war besides long before i got into TF #i feel like in general this fandom has a blessing/curse where the source material is sci fi war story #but individual continuities or stories have different genres or tones or takes #and like you can kind of tell when someone whose primary reading/writing experience is #something like drama or interpersonal or slice of life etc #and they try to write story/meta WRT war stories military drama or action stories #like you can just tell when someone is talking about 'war is hell' as just a label for a concept #and not like a full understanding of war and how it works and why #god i need to write my idw optimus war story genre protagonist meta so badly

[piplupod]

it just seems cruel and sick to me that I tell someone "i think this little life has inherent value and I'd like to extend a little kindness to it when I am able to" and they laugh at me as if I'm being foolish and tell me I must squash it with my shoe :/

#to hear somebody earnestly tell you that and not even stop to consider you might be wrong. it is baffling #absolutely foreign to me. if somebody were to insist upon something so earnestly i think i'd at least stop and think for a moment #especially if it were about just... being kind to someone or something. it feels very strange that you wouldn't even pause #god im such a fucking sap. idk. this is all probably just ramblings of some naive sheltered little freak w stars in their eyes sdfjkl #''oh the world should be kinder to pests'' i sound ridiculous dsgjkl i am being laughed at by another part in the brain #i KNOWWW this is unrealistic and overly sentimental. i just feel awful any time i have to kill a spider idk #i dont think it should be all that ridiculous. but im probably getting too worked up about it fdsjkl #curse this overly compassionate freak brain of mine #anyways. sorry. i'll be normal now fsjkl. this was just weird and upsetting today #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[boxwinebaddie]

Hi Uncle Nina !!

I don't wanna clog your ask box with stupid shit but this is stupid shit but it was also my bday on the thirteenth so shjdjdjs

As a fellow Monster addict ( I got a flat of Monster for my bday and collect the cans I have 30 diff ones so far <3 ) I need to know what Stan's favourite is

And on the less stupid side of things I was also hoping to potentially hear more about Stan's trans journey/Kyle finding out Raven is trans

Also I'm sorry your job has been so stressful lately :(( I hope you have a good day 🧡

- Stan 🧡

hi orange heart stan! <3

it's so good to hear from you, baby.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHSLAY, MY LOVE! i'm sorry i'm a little late, but you know me -- everything i do is fashionably late, darling. ;)

but also!!!!! call your wonderful, lovely ask message stupid shit again!!! see what happens!!! i'm gonna frown So WIDE, i'm gonna look so Upset. i'm going to hold you up to the sun!!! JUST WATCH!!!! >;/

my sweet stannie; you are a gift, a treasure. and your ask memes are a pleasure. i don't find them stupid in any shape or form, be nice. conversely, they are extremely special to me and it's why i put off writing this message for a little while because i wanted to respond to it thoughtfully, seeing as though it's your bday message.

which, *cracks knuckles* to get the ball roooollling.

i can absolutely tell you what monster energy is stan's favorite, but as a bday bonus, bc i wasn't sure which stan you wanted to know about, or if you wanted both: i'll give you both my style's fave monster flavs

and i was going to go into some ravenstan trans lore after that, but i feel like that info should go in it's own ask, yeah? i just don't want it to get cluttered. so if you feel so inclined, would you mind sending me a second anon where i can drop that info? thank you, baby! mwah

but now, w/o further ado...

please enjoy the most Refreshing part of your day <333

for context ( and actually because i got an anon once who wanted to know whether i drink energy drinks ), i don't really know that much about energy drinks/flavors because i don't really drink energy drinks.

i mean okay, i'm not really sure if it counts as an energy drink, but i will chug a guayaki yerba mate like it is the elixir of life. ( also i fully maintain that pep stan drinks the enlightenment flavor and ravenstan drinks the raspberry one -- crunchy eco kings ) my favorite one is the passion terrere one. it's like the only one that doesn't come in a can and only comes in a glass bottle...that ice cold passion terrere mate in the glass...it hits so different than the can...oh my god. so good.

and as far as monsters go, i pretty much only drink pipeline punch bc i'm a pretty pink princess and that's what hot girls drink <3 but other than that i drink black coffee because i am an exhausted teacher girlie, but that's purely for fuel. to be honest, i rarely drink energy drinks just for fun, i only have caffeine to stay upright.

which isn't a great idea...but...i am not a role model....

speaking of:

so i told riley this story the other day, bc i needed to get her brilliant genius girl insight on energy drink flavors because she is the sugar free energy queen ( riley's answer was kyle x ultra strawberry dreams and stan x ultra mango fiesta, which, everyone say thank u riley <3 )

-- also god if you are real, bring back the watermelon lime venom you discontinued, you sick fuck, it was riley's favorite, thank you for giving us lovely orange heart stan, and fuck you very much for making ME, bitch! come on down, king! you won't! why the fuck would you extend my coworkers vacation! fight me, ugly!!!! --

and i was telling her about how i am the chaotic kenny friend, i make really bad, chaotic decisions, have no self preservation, hype and gas up my extremely bad ideas and convince myself i'm big brain, wow.

and...oof. so like 2-3 years ago during finals week, i had a fuck ton of essays and projects due ( i was a very bad student btw which is funny bc i'm a teacher ) and no idea how i was gonna do them, so i had the Brilliant Idea...to buy three Random bang energy drinks...

AND SHOTGUN ALL OF THEM BACK TO BACK LIKE BEER CANS.

ohhhhhhhhhhhh my god, party girl nina. help. crying.

and yknow, i thought this was such a good idea! i was like wow i'm gonna be so awake, i am going to b invincible.

i....was not Invicible. i was...very, very sick. i was like almost catatonic and shaking on the floor of my dorm bathroom, lmao. i had to have my roomate take a picture of me on the floor and text all my teachers what happened, which, thank god they were all really nice and laughed but...i feel like that tells you everything you need to know about me...people who think i'm their hero...i am a fucking idiot.

but!! BUUUUTTT! just for You, baby. i deep dived a lot of forums and read a lot about the flavor profiles and think...i made a pretty accurate assertion of what my kid's energy drink preferences are <3

me: paris hilton pipeline punch bc i am bad as hell ;)

stan the man with the plan: okay, so i think that pep stan is definitely that ultra paradise monster energy. it just seems really crisp, clean, earthy. stan also doesn't really care for sweets or sugar, so it makes sense to me that he would be drinking a zero sugar monster ( kyle is disgusted ) idk the kiwi, lime, cucumber flavor profile just feels like pep stan. please tell me you can see the vision, help.

kyle pile: hmmm...so what i've concluded with my research is that kyle pile probably likes that pacific pipeline monster that seems to taste like fruit punch <3 it has to be the full sugar ones because of his blood sugar and stan does kind of scold kyle for drinking them bc he's not really supposed to and he gets really cracked out ahdslkshd like he's really cute but stan is like oh my god bro you gotta lay down but yeah i think that one or the orange dreamsicle one, which is hilarious because the only foods stmwtp canonically does not like are pickles and artifical orange flavoring...he really loves kp.

raven: soooooo i know that i said pep stan was the mango loco monster energy, BUT RAVENSTAN IS LITERALLY THE MANGO LOCO MONSTER ENERGY LIKE HELLO??? also i feel like he is like those mexican dads that put a little tajin in whatever they're eating and act like they've invented fire heeeeeelp ravenstan is so the dad that cuts u up fruit into little shapes and pus tajin on them and feeds u them when ur sad <333 luv u raven ;-; <3 but yeah i feel like he full on turns it into a raspado its so unserious sometimes theres a shot in there, it's usually the spicy tamarind smirnoff vodka,

...what can i say my man is a visionary and i see it

jersey: oooookaaaaay. so...sigh. for Obvious Reasons, pre and during rm, because of kyle's ed, he only drinks the sugar free monsters. for energy because he's exhausted ( my baby </3 ) but i also do think he thinks they taste good. i think he fucks with that ultra watermelon flavor that just tastes like the most beautiful, delectable, mouth watering liquid watermelon candy ever. i also think he could rock with the strawberry or the peach one sounds dank.

if the watermelon one isn't there it does stress him out, but he has a mental list of what one is next on the tier list, and acts accordingly. its kind of a nice change of pace but...his brain does not think that. however, when kyle is healing, weirdly enough, i think he ACTUALLY LIKES???? those coffee flavored ones??? which is Insane and everyone including tweek points and laughs at him

i hope...that suffices? you're totally welcome to offer me what you think is the right answer: you're the monster expert, after all. but this is what i feel in my heart! i think it feels accurate but, lmk! :')

and also...speaking of my job. UUUUUUGH. thank you baby. :((( i am actually criminally depressed because my fucking HOE-WORKER fucking extended his vacation ONE MORE WEEK! so i have to cover all his shifts for an extra week while he's on vacation. so that means i don't get to watch my testing accommodation kids who i miss very much, i still don't get his kinder reccess shift and literally??? spring break is next week like he couldn't WAIT???? holy fuck i'm Sad. :(

but i will be fine darling. but it's actually why i wanted to see if you could send me another anon so i can use that anon to talk about trans stan journey stuff? i just don't want it to get lost in this post and also, i'm not in great spirits rn and don't want to answer it until i can write something that's not flaming garbage.

but happy late birthday baby, i'm so glad you were born. <333

-uncle nina, monster shot gun queen

p.s. what is your favorite monster energy? :)

#BB IF YOU CALL YOUR MESSAGE STUPID ONE MORE TIME #I AM GOING TO PUT YOU IN SO MANY BLANKETS AND FEED YOU SO MANY SNACKS AND BRAID UR HAIR #KNOCK IT AWHFF!!!!!! #you are so loved and this was no stupid at all and i actually had a lot of fun reading all about all the monster flavors #i'm sorry if its not totally accurate i did my best #i'm sorry the green one is so much more pep stan #and the mango loco one is actually raven #like thats just the right answer #ravenstan drinking the mango loco monster w the tajin rim...like he's kind of a genius oh my god #him turning them into a cursed mixed drink is foul tho i just know his head hurts after that #i cant believe i had jersey likes the coffee ones that is so foul #but him drinking the no sugar ones and drinking the candy flavored ones bc he is like 7 years old #theyre so cute lkahdkshd also kyle pile also likes the cherry blade lemonade bang energy that feels right to me #BUT YEAH I HOPE THIS MADE YOU SMILE #TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK HAHA #also sorry i didnt give you the Serious answer in that post but ravens trans journey is really important to me #and i really want to honor that and not rush it or write it when i am in a bad mood...ill make it worth it for you my love #but uuuugh no im in such a bad mood like im actually so frustrated like this is just not fair to me #me n the older kids are starting to kind of be alright but it kind of ebbs and flows like its better somedays and worse others #but they are stuck with just me for another week so were managing tbh my coworker was dad and im mom basically #im more like stepmom and they dont really like me bc ur not my real mom but like at least im nice lmao #but yeah happy birthday baby hope you enjoyed this and i will get you the answers you seek very soon mWAAAAH #also not me shotgunning 3 bang energies and throwing up and having to have my friends email my professors #when i tell you im not a role model i mean that i am a joke i make such bad decisions #live fast die young bad girls do it well

[ramenwithbroccoli]

"seeing this picture in my askbox" moodboard

#why does another weird photo of David spawn on people's phones every other week. where do you even get that 😭😭😭 #normally I'd thank you for the ask but this feels like passing some kind of curse on me 😧 #yeah sorry sir im not built for these streets. i will be going now. #spg

[derpinette]

as soon as i want to relax i start thinking about how vulnerable my vitals are

#like when it is time for me to sleep or on the bus or just walking about outside #i always have my sides “hugged” sort of & i always worry about the back of my neck showing #( could entice someone into stabbing me there ) like on the bus or in class i keep thinking about how easily #someone behind me could just snap & stab me in the neck #i am a paranoid person like this in general in 2019 i was too scared to wear my hair in pigtails because i was paranoid some crazy person #with scissors would cut them off & run away ( sometimes i start thinking too much & it starts going into witchcraft territory ) #( like OMG i am så going to get cursed for a laugh or out of boredom using those !!!!! same with nail grooming i only file ) #anyway so when i try to sleep i keep thinking about how someone could just barge into my house & stab me in the kidneys & chest #& it feels so real so i have to curl up into a ball so the thought goes away #but then i think like any position is stabbable & nothing i do can protect me. no one say guns i am north african #maybe i need to start hiding weapons under my clothes again just to feel safer i used to hide blades in my bra when i was crazy in 2020 #i think i am getting back there lately but surely this is fine whatever. Who caare & i mean that genuinely i have already been there #butUGH I HATE feeling so vulnerable to The Killer like i know what wendy williams means but honestly the thought of not dying scares me moa #kind of like how the anticipation of a needle is scary only you get stabbed or attacked & bludgeoned in various ways #like anyone can do anything at any timeeven when i was a kid i would be walking places & think someone could so easily drop a bomb right no #or how gas cylinders can explode at any moment. & then i start visualizing & Feeling until my ears ring. anyway #sorry for my Sick & Twisted Dark & Sinister Mind #journaling. or like.something.

[donuts4evry1]

// People mispronouncing pho ("fuh"- it's really spelled phở because our accents are confusing and hate you with a passion) does actually give me psychic damage. The noodle soup is not your "foe," it's your "fuh"-riend :(

and that's why this store is the funniest thing I've ever seen

#just pronounce pho correctly and you get ''fuh-king'' which. #ehe #ehehehehehehehe #cw cursing #but actually also....... I personally don't like pho all that much :( #the beef broth is a lil too rich and greasy and I don't like the sweetness :( #chicken pho is better though I like chicken pho :) #also on vietnamese accents I've never had a nonviet person pronounce my last name correctly #it's just a minor annoyance but looking back on it it makes me... kind of sad #people try their hardest though so i can't blame them #i've had my first name said really really incorrectly before though (even though it's traditionally a white name) so maybe people just- #-don't know how to pronounce names haha #i do feel a bit sorry for my bro tho because he has a viet 1st name and no one says it right (or maybe I say it wrong? Hmm...) #suddenly feeling a little envious of japanese names.... you can never really be 100% sure how to pronounce them (unless they're hiragana)- #-but at the very least you have to the pronunciation somewhere in hiragana #mun rambles

[zmeydeva-arch]

this whole nsfw sideblog thing is getting out of hand. i have been in this community for years and have never seen less (written) porn on the dash so i don’t see why relegating mature content to another blog serves a purpose when this site censors us enough. also i thought we were past the whole shame culture when it comes to sex considering it was y’all who wanted to rebrand “sinday” but now you are hiding your porn on another blog? make it make sense anyways post p*ssy on main just tag accordingly i truly do not care 🤷🏻‍♀️

#signed someone who barely writes p*rn here but also acknowledges that the read more Exists #whether you write this kind of content or not is your choice but i feels like the whole sideblog thing is some moral superiority grab #idk i just feel like we are all adults and it is childish to be so coy about sex the whole tikt*k censorship algorithm is a curse #i don’t usually get on my soap box here but i am seeing a larger issue play out here #between book banning and the way you can’t say gay on youtube without getting demonitzed all these things are linked #sorry for the rant 🙇🏻‍♀️ #𝖎𝖎. *ੈ ˖ ° ⥽ carlisle cullen? no carly rae cullen ⥼ ⅋. ooc #perhaps this is just a ‘trend’ i am reading too much into but before you make that sideblog consider why you view it as necessary

[sailforvalinor]

.

#hffjfhfhhhhghgh #sometimes you think you’re over a guy but then you have a normal conversation with him like a normal person and proceed to think about it #for the next ten hours #my silly little INFP brain is being insufferable about this #like seriously I don’t want to date a guy who curses like a sailor I don’t #but we just get along so well together? he was homeschooled like me? he’s an lotr fanatic (as in he’s read the books)? he has OPINIONS #about little women? he’s an agatha christie fan?? he had reasonable things to say in biblical studies a couple years ago (which is more #than I can say for 95 percent of the people in that class)? #but I mean it doesn’t matter we’ve known each other for nearly three years and I can’t tell that he’s ever had that kind of interest in me #(granted I am a TERRIBLE judge) #fun fact though he is the guy who read a story I wrote freshman year and read a romance scene and exclaimed ‘that’s it! that’s what love is #supposed to be!’ #I mean how was I SUPPOSED to react #if nothing else he’s definitely one of Anne’s kindred spirits and I think I can live with that #anyway sorry feel free to ignore I just needed to ramble #I drove for like three hours today and it was just swirling around in my head the whole time #will probably delete later because there are a couple people who follow me who know me irl and would probably know exactly what I’m talking #about. they’re not super active though so #(and yes this is Alcott boy. although hilariously before I knew his name I called him Agatha Christie boy) #on a lighter note I may have convinced him to watch otgw because it has Elijah wood in it lol

[samwisefamgee]

everyday I join lethal company lobby to Just Vibe and am sent Multiple Friend Request

#help #SORRY im good at video games and fun to hang out with its a CURSE not a blessing #sea of thieves was the same too man every lobby falls in love with me and i just want to play with strangers for a bit #why the instant commitment geez dinner and a movie first #and HALF the time its like bruh you called lootbugs gay no more than 20 minutes ago and you try to friend my fag ass you YOU FUCKING YOUUUU #and the other half theyre just. not my style? had more great times with randos online than i could count but not once met someone who like #i would think about continuing to hang with? #kind of a shame given this is my main recreation? feels like id have made at least one lasting buddy out of the hundreds i played like #3 hours of sea of thieves with one time or something #now to circle back this could Perhaps be due to me not accepting friend requests #but i will circumvent this issue by means of not confronting it #anyway it's fun playing with randos. hoppin in a lobby of strangers is like a jack-in-the-box of the human experience #lots of austrailians on at my 3 am makes for great convos. i sure as hell aint meeting any out in this fuckin city #or anyone else in funky distant timezones #this place is a white suburban hell and this is nearly my only decent recreation and cultural exposure pls #IM NOT EVEN THAT COOL everytime it happens i think of the hercules hades “He's a GUY' line like cmon

[saintadeline]

Do you think the Research Hall was dragged directly into the Nightmare like the Lecture Building was, or was it recreated from the memories of its inhabitants like the Nightmare Cathedral Ward was?

The way i see it its kind of like a secret third thing ...? Unsure how I'd categorize it. It's definitely more based on memories than say something like mensis that was quite literal, and it's also not a physical port (sorry i love calling it a port like its videojames) like what happens with actual rituals like with yaharghul & the hunters dream. But i think its not entirely like the central yharnam hunters nightmare in the sense that the rh was not brought there as a sole torture dimension for wrongdoers. Its easy to go "the entirety of the rh is maria's nightmare" but i think thats not true at all, otherwise the same could be said of laurence and cathedral ward, but we Know the hunters nightmare is for all hunters. Sorry im probably not making any sense rn im sick but IM TRYING. Also my personal take on it is that the rh patients were taken in by kos in an act of divine messed-up-yet-genuine empathy. Because since the rh is more than just maria, and theres not a lot of actual researchers (aka people who Could be there as punishment) and there is no way kos sought to actually torture the patients, i think the research hall was kind of like her idea of taking them under her protection, possibly after the failures managed in some way to make some kind of (failed) contact with her. To me the way kos sees the rh is kind of like the lab rats she rescued out of good will except she doesnt know how to take care of them at all so theyre in one of those torture labyrinth plastic cages for hamsters. At least thats how i see it. Also, it not being 100% truthful to reality explains a lot of physical questions like why the hell does it look like that. And if the research hall we see is taken from the patients twisted (traumatized) view of it, it does really make sense that its comprised entirely of strange twisting stairs and operation rooms.

#so like tldr i think its inhabitants were sent there more literally than the hunters are #(aka not a bloodline curse and more a direct case by case decision) #BUT the place itself is more built upon memories #personally i think the rh being the way that it is (my dark and twisted psyche etc) is less influenced by maria being there and more that #both maria's feelings on it (forced to witness the torture dimension) and the patients feelings on it (forced to be in the torture dimension #) kind of assimilate and become one thing. do you know what i mean? #i think the only part pf the nightmare rh that is purely maria's nightmare is tbe clocktowet #since it has her coffin and shes direcrly responsible for closing the gate to thw hamlet #which is very symbolic more than anything else #SORRY IM LIKE. REALLY SICK TODAY SO IM HAVING A HARD TIME PARSING MY THOUGHTS #but i wanted to answer still

[calamitys-child]

Oh dracula polycule my beloved

#i think it speaks a lot to the kind of situation stoker was in #to see how lovingly he writes a distant but beloved engagement; a same-gender friend as dear as a lover to you or dearer; #people with romantic interests in the same person but who love one another so dearly and dont fight; intimate mentor figures; etc #like. this is the lyceum if it were more cursed babygirl #i just finished shadowplay sorry im in my feelings

[cellophobia]

fuck heathcare but like i got a degree specifically to enter nursing school. i have a lot of reasons why i don't want to do nursing anymore but damb that's a lot of time and energy wasted. i hate 12 hour shifts, i hate charting, i hate general patient care. but it's (apparently) a job with lots of options in lots of settings. i don't like bedside lol but maybe i could like psych or something outpatient.

i'm planning on doing special education now but eduction has a lot of problems too. i honestly really like my position in education right now and if i could i would make this my career. but alas, i'm going to eventually need my own insurance and this job has no benefits.

lately i've been really depressed so i haven't been working. but seeing those kids makes me so fucking happy. i met a lot of them when i did some special ed positions and they're so great. i feel like special ed is my calling.

that being said i'm fucking failing my classes right now because i'm too depressed to do schoolwork. and i don't know if the grants i got need to be repaid if i fail classes. if so i'm SO fucked because that's a LOT of money. 😭😭😫😭

#i have been in the depths of hell lately. mentally #but i think i'm getting better #i had a kind of intervention with my therapist her supervisor and my husband lol #basically 'stop stopping your meds dummy' #because i was off my meds for a few weeks and things went wacko #i admitted to the doctor that i went cold turkey off all my meds including lithium #and he was like no fucking wonder you feel like shit lol #without the cursing #i'm on a new med now. only one. #supposed to help with bipolar depression but i don't know if it does anything for hypomania #i'm still depressed but i can at least see a light at the end of the tunnel #for a minute there it was unbearably awful #i'm at like a 3/10 versus a 1/10 before #anyway life has been crazy. #trying to control mental illness >>>> #also i'm sorry i know this is really TMI #i need a journal #i have a journal. i need to use it

[rawliverandcigarettes]

genuinely I do not understand why skylines is my most popular fic 😭

#I mean I think I Get It in the sense that #it's short and easily digestible #it's pairing-centric #it's cute kind of #but regularly I still receive kudos for it #more than for any other work and I'm like ??? thank you??? #but genuinely it's as far removed from my usual work as it could possibly get #sorry I am not this author actually 😭 #even basecoat which exists in that same general area #feels more like my own work than skylines does #like the character work in basecoat is a little bit more polished I think? #anyway The Curse #that the thing the most consistently appreciated is the least representative of what you want to do artistically #I think it's kind of inevitable haha #but yeah either way Not a fluff author and Not a pairing author #I may dabble in occasional sapphism for sure but fluff + sapphism is so Not my vibe that it feels weird!!! it feels weird #thank you but it feels weird!!!