#like that girl didn’t need Rafal’s help | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evitachristine · 3 years

Text

Anti-Hophie Rant

So I finally finished reading One True King, and this is what I have to say. It’s long.

WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Before I get into this, just a small warning: If Hophie is your OTP and embodiment of perfection, this text is not for you. I will not argue with anyone, alright?

To start this off, in my opinion OTK is the weakest of the series. It just feels like a connection between the last book and the fact that Tedros has to become the King. Some might argue that the second book was the worst, well, I disagree. It’s not just because Hophie happens here, but I kind of believe that when the internet spoiled to me that my hated ship was going to happen (because I had to wait until the book comes out in my country), I was expecting more from it. That I would actually be convinced it’s meant to be, which didn’t happen. Also the execution of some characters (Ahem...Merlin) was just...why. It seemed to me that there were a lot of other fan services in this book, apart from Hort and Sophie getting together, but more about that later.

I need to remember this for good, and next time I become a fan of something, I will avoid its fanbase. I do not mean to offend anyone, but a fanbase can really ruin a platform, especially when the platform is still developping and the fanbase is influencing it, which I believe did happen a lot with SGE. I will not deny that a fandom can improve such thing - that is definitely true as well - but sometimes the line between improving and ruining is slim, and if it doesn’t ruin the platform, then it might ruin a couple of fans’ experience of it.

Now to the point of me hating Hophie.

As I mentioned in my previous post, and above. When I discovered the fandom and found out that people are shipping Hort and Sophie, I asked myself “But why? Sophie doesn’t like Hort.” and I kind of thought this was a joke or a meme ship. I always ship characters where both sides have at least a visible bit of attraction towards each other. Whether its friends to lovers or enemies to lovers. Hophie, until the last book and half, was not the case. It was a typical example of unrequited crush, Sophie once only used Hort to make Tedros jealous. But if my mind isn’t tricking me, she was always disgusted by him and even during their first encounter, he attempted to harass her! And the fact that “they were still kids back then” is not an excuse to me.

Allow me to make a slight turn from SGE. When I was about 8-10, my mum took me to see an opera called Turandot. I will not bother you with opera, but long story short: A princess is very beautiful and a lot of men want to marry her. So she is giving everyone three questions, if they answer incorrectly, they are executed. Everyone are getting executed until a prince in disguise arrives and is in love with her, answers all questions correctly. Princess doesn’t want to marry him tho, so he asks her to guess his name and if she succeeds, he will gladly die. The princess doesn’t feel love at all and doesn’t want to fall in love. She believes she is a saint. Then in a dramatic duet the prince kisses her and ALL OF SUDDEN the princess falls in love with him.

Whew. Sorry, I tried to make this as short as possible. I remember asking my mum after this: “Why is the girl always forced to love the boy?” Little me didn’t like this idea of a “magical kiss” already, lol. Mum’s answer was “Because it was written by a boy.”, but that’s not even my point here. Do you see the pattern? Girl keeps refusing guy but in the end he still gets her. THIS RIGHT HERE is the main reason why I hate Hophie. It reinforces the stereotype that if a guy is persistent enough, he will get the girl even if she said no a million times.

Another note I’d like to say about this, and I’m going to receive hate for this opinion. I started book 1 when I was 16. Now I’m in my early twenties and I get that most SGE readers are still teenagers. The age of crushes, clumsy love experiments, etc. OK now I sound like a grandma. But I think this is where Hophie stems from. Everyone are seeing themselves in Hort. Your crush doesn’t like you back, his crush doesn’t like him back. Something like Éponine in Les Misérables. If Marius and Sophie both fall in love with the person who likes them, it’s like the crush of the fan does. Can we call this the Hort-Éponine complex?

Aside from that, I believe that people who already experienced both sides of unrequited love (like yours truly grandma, right here), meaning Sophie’s side of it, are less likely to support such ships.

I will now dive into the OTK “resolution” of this pairing. First let me just say, this book made me, if not hate, then at least strongly dislike Hort’s character. The first half of the book and even a some time after before he finally gets with Sophie, his character is disgusting to me. He is so obsessed with her, even while he’s still dating Nicola. As in my previous post, it’s like a huge part of his character is only “I LOVE SOPHIE”. While he’s still with Nicola, he never fails to mention “his FRIEND Sophie”. I will now paraphrase because I read a translation, not the original, but even when Hort’s singing to the guards to distract them so Agatha and Tedros can sneak into the Library, he sings something along the lines “Girlfriend Nikki and friend Soph”. I’m not sure if this was meant to convince the reader that Sophie ending up with Hort is a good idea, but with me, it did the exact opposite.

In general, their “romance” feels extremely rushed to me. Compared to Sophie’s previous love interests, regardless of who they were as people, these two have zero chemistry. It seems as if Sophie decided to settle because there was no other guy for her. And the description of her suddenly being in love with him, as mentioned above, is another of those “magical kiss” stories. It is hardly believable and kind of... shallow.

There even were several moments when Rafal was mentioned. In COT, when the protagonists wanted to flee Camelot but Sophie decided to stay, she saw Hort flying to her and she mistook him for Rafal. Goodness. Even in OTK there were a few moments when it seemed that Sophie still has issues from that relationship. Very few, but they were there.

Therefore I refuse to believe that the reason for this was anything other than to satisfy the majority of the fandom. In addition, the entire book feels like one huge “fan service”, as other ships are “sailing” as well. We have Hestadil and Bogden/Willam, but these two are at least believable. Hestadil started, even tho inconspicously, two books ago, and it resolved naturally. And beforehand they were close friends, so there’s that. As for the boys, they were side characters, so we can only think that all resolved while they were off the scene.

To sum it up, I thought of three different endings I’d prefer for Sophie.

On the first place, this was mentioned several times by other people, is that she should have stayed on her own. That happened in TLEA, but this time, really. I hated that OTK made it seem that she really needs a partner. Yes, love, but heck... is romantic love the only thing that is out there? How about friendship? Content with oneself? Pursuing hobbies that you love? Freedom? Come on. Awesome characters that end up single AND ARE HAPPY should have more representation. And I think Sophie would have been amazing like that.

On the second place I have two things. First, Sophie with a girl. Only I’m not sure who. Maybe Nicola, or Betty if she survived. Or maybe, people might hate me for this, but... Dot? I don’t ship it but I think it could have been cute. Maybe they would start off getting closer as friends and the rest would be left up to the reader’s imagination.

The other preferable ending I have at second place was originally on the third place, but some weird nostalgia overcame me when reading OTK and I had to move it up. People will hate me. But if Sophie should end up with a guy, it should have been Rhian. Yes, I know what you are thinking right now. But think about it. That guy really believed he was Arthur’s son. Imagine if he found out the truth. Something tells me it would be really hard for him at first, but in the end, if he found out that Japeth really only wants Aric, he could’ve joined the protagonists. In my opinion Sophie had the best dynamic with him, before it all spiralled downwards with snakes etc. Maybe he could pretend to help his twin but in the end... I believe I read something like this somewhere on Tumblr as well. Also this kind of feels as if it could have been Soman’s original plan before he turned to pleasing the fans. Or maybe I’m just fantasising too much. Regardless of how much you’re cursing me right now, I believe Rhian deserved better and shouldn’t have died. After all, he was the better twin.

As for Hort, well, before OTK I didn’t really care for his character, I didn’t dislike him but he wasn’t my favourite. I simply wished him well hoping he’ll get over Sophie so he can be happy, either with Nicola/someone else, or on his own. After the last book made me resent him, I’m not sure. He could have died, but I know that is cruel.

He could have been slowly realising that he doesn’t need Sophie, his love would fade away, maybe Nicola could break up with him in the process, then they would get back together, at a natural pace, realisation, etc. Or they wouldn’t, or they wouldn’t break up at all, just separate on different missions, and then reunite and realise they were truly meant to be together all along.

Whew, if you made it here, congratulations. If you read this as a Hophie shipper, I’m not taking away your opinion. I just needed to let this out. Hope we can respect each other.

...But I still kinda wish we could get another version of OTK where Hophie doesn’t happen.

135 notes · View notes

thatesqcrush · 3 years

Text

Change of Plans, Pt. 3

Rafael Barba x Reader. F/u piece to “Best Laid Plans.” For Kink Bingo: 69, which gives me one more complete row. My final piece for the kinkbingo challenge. I know kikntober is over, but hey lets give a welcome to kinkvember.

WC: 2805

AN: Another p*rn without plot. Like, pure filth.

CW: p in v sex, male & female receiving oral sex, dirty talk, an*l sex, this is MMF and MFM. Also language. NSFW, so heed those warnings.

Sleep befell you three quickly. In the morning, you woke up alone. The room still permeated with scent of sex. You stretched, arching your back and elongating your limbs, enjoying the way the expensive sheets felt against your naked body. You sat up, pressing the flat sheet against your body. You reached for your phone, to check for any messages.

The sound of the elevator arriving caught your attention and you quickly ran your hands through your hair, in an attempt to smooth out any bedhead. You smiled when you saw Rafael. He was holding a shopping bag and a tray of two large drinks, which you had hoped was coffee.

“Good morning.” Rafael greeted as he set the tray of coffee down. “Bryan took the liberty of sending for a new pair of shoes for you. He had to go into the office for a few hours but he plans to meet us for brunch. For now, it’s just you and I. I brought coffee. I thought we could go get whatever you needed for the weekend.”

“You are a godsend.” You exclaimed, wrapping your arms around Rafael and pulling hi into a hug. Rafael smelled like warm spicy citrus and just the scent alone evoked memories of the night prior. Your body ached in the best way.

Rafael nuzzled your cheek, before dipping his head to capture you lip with his. The kiss was soft and passionate, and warmth spread throughout your body, reigniting the fire from the night prior. Rafael slanted you head further, wrapping one hand around the nape of your neck, deepening the kiss. His other hand skated up your body, to the top of the sheet, pushing it down. That same hand then returned to the soft swell of your breast, squeezing. You let out a soft moan as your nipples tightened in response, eager for more.

The shrill of a phone ringing, interrupted the two of you. You both let out equal sounds of disappointment. Rafael looked at his phone and he answered it, standing. “Hola Yelina.”

You had taken enough Spanish to make out parts of his conversation – he was returning to New York the day after tomorrow – someone named Alex needed him. The tone of the conversation was stern and you could feel the tension as he clipped his responses. You climbed out of bed and figured which coffee was yours. You watched Rafael as you drank your coffee – his back was to you. Certain that the mood was spoiled, you took another swig of your coffee and then made way to the bathroom, the door closing with a soft click.

Twenty minutes later, you emerged from the shower feeling like a new person. You wrung your hair with the fluffy towel and found your clothes. You sniffed them – they would pass until you got home. Rafael was watching CNN, listening to Anderson Cooper talk about the upcoming election.

“Everything OK?” You asked as you found your jeans. You bounced in place, tugging the denim on.

Rafal looked up at you. “Of course; just some stuff from home. Nothing that can’t wait.” He stared at you intensely and you felt yourself blush under his gaze. You turned away to hide your discomfiture and instead focused your attention on the shopping bag. You opened the bag and took out the box – you let out a whistle at the pair of camel leather Nisolo smoking shoes. You knew the shoes were more expensive than you’d ever pay for yourself. You slipped them on and your feet were in heaven with the cushioned interior.

“Bryan did well.” You murmured to yourself. You finished getting dressed and used a claw clip to put your damp hair up.

“Ready to go?” Rafael asked. You nodded and as you both left, you didn’t miss how his hand wrapped around your waist.

The ride from the hotel to your apartment in East Hyde Park was not even thirty minutes. Rafael noted that the neighborhood had a strikingly serene setting considering that it was located in the middle of a large city such as Chicago. The neighborhood was bustling with young professionals. You gave Rafael a quick history lesson of the area – situated just south of Chicago's Loop, the area experienced rapid development in recent years, particularly in the South Loop neighborhood. The area boasted several historically-significant buildings and landmark districts. Cultural opportunities were abound, with various art galleries and museums were located in the area.

Rafael whistled at the lakeview you had from your apartment. “What a view.” Rafael complimented. You hummed in agreement, standing beside him, watching as waves of Lake Michigan crashed against the shoreline.

You turned back to pack some belongings for the weekend. You packed some clothes and then a lingerie bag with what you had that could pass off as your most sexy. You were pretty sure that it wouldn’t last long on you anyway, but you still wanted to wow them. You finished packing and then stripped to change into fresher clothes.

As you bent over to fish out another pair of jeans, you felt Rafael approach you from behind. He pressed himself against the curve of your ass, and you could feel his hardened cock. You stood straight, and Rafael pressed you flush against him. His lips ghosted the curve of your neck and you let out a small whimper of anticipation as he nipped your neck.

“Lets finish what we started before we were so rudely interrupted.” His voice was low and dangerous. Desire flooded your body once more. You turned around and stood on your tiptoes, wrapping your arms around his neck. Rafael’s green eyes were blown with lust. Rafael grabbed you by your thighs and hoisted you into his arms. You let out a squeal as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Rafael dropped you onto the bed, and you watched as he stripped his clothes. You eyed the large tent in his boxers, feeling your arousal flood between your thighs. You were already so wound up from earlier, you didn’t want to waste any time. You wanted his mouth, his cock, his hands on you and in you at once.

Rafael crawled up your body, kissing you passionately before working his way back down. He hooked his thumbs along the sides of your panties and tugged them. You raised your hips to help him remove them and he dragged the materials down your legs, before tossing them to the side. Rafael went to his knees, between your spread thighs. He pressed a kiss to each thigh before settling at your core, his breath ghosting over your clit, which was aching with need. Finally, Rafael dragged his tongue along your cunt, licking a broad stripe. His large hands held your thighs aside as he devoured you.

“Oh god, fuck, fuck!” You cried out, your hips undulating against his mouth.

“I fucking love this sweet little pussy.” Rafael mumbled before capturing your clit and sucking.

“I…I… want…” You had a hard time forming words as his tongue rolled over you repeatedly alternating with licks and sucks, causing your back to bow.

Rafael snaked a finger from beneath and slid it into you. He removed his mouth briefly to question you. “What do you want?” He took the opportunity to insert another digit inside of you.

“I… oh fuck!” You wailed as he curved his fingers, hitting that sweet spot. You pushed against his hand, trying to deepen his penetration. Your thighs trembled and you knew it would not take much longer to fall apart. You sucked in a breath. “To suck your cock.” You choked out.

Rafael removed his fingers completely and made a big show of sucking his fingers clean. You shuddered, watching him. “Then come sit on my face.” Rafael commanded, with an authoritarian tone that caused you to shudder. Rafael laid on the bed and he helped guide you over his face. Rafael pulled you down and returned to eating you out while you lowered yourself so you were face to face with his cock. Rafael massaged the flesh of your ass as his tongue lapped at your cunt. You pointed Rafael’s cock to your mouth and opened your mouth wide, feeling his erection push into the back of your throat. It was heavy and warm on your tongue as you wrapped your lips around him. Rafael paused again, letting out a hiss in response. You spluttered around his length as you bobbed rhythmically. Your bedroom was filled with the wet sounds of Rafael’s mouth and tongue on your pussy and your mouth on his cock.

“That’s it… suck that cock like a good little girl.” Rafael crooned before pulling your hips down onto his face even more, delving his tongue inside of you as far as it could go. It didn’t take you long to fall apart, with you crying his name. Coming only spurred you and you returned your attention to his cock fervently. You used your hand to jack his cock while you cradled and sucked his balls with your mouth and tongue. A rumble emanated from deep within Rafael. “Y/N, I am going to come!” You took him in your mouth once more, as deep as you could go and within moments you could feel his cock pulse and twitch, his seed spilling down your throat hot, salty, and thick.

Rafael grunted once more and then smacked your ass. You removed your mouth from his cock and swung your legs off of him. Rafael pulled you to him and you opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, showing him how clean it was. He pulled you close to him and you dipped your head to his shoulder, pressing a kiss.

You both stayed there like that, wrapped in each other, with Rafael stroking your hair. Finally, Rafael looked at the clock on your wall. “We should get going – Bryan doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

You both arrived at the restaurant, choosing to sit outdoors, rather inside as it was unseasonably warm. The restaurant itself was one that was notorious for being obnoxiously hard to get into, with a waiting list that spanned months but one phone from Bryan had opened up seats easily.

Bryan arrived and he greeted you with an open mouth kiss and then one to Rafael. He looked at Rafael curiously and then at you. “I can taste her on your lips.” Bryan grinned wickedly. “Safe to say you already ate.” He quipped, causing you to choke on your water.

“Y/N, save the choking for later.” Bryan continued as he sat down.

“Don’t quit your day job.” You quipped right back, feeling your cheeks burn.

Rafael took the liberty of ordering ahead for the table. The fare was simple but flavorful - kale and cheddar quiche, country paté with pistachio and foie gras and vanilla bean pancakes with pure maple syrup and blackberry compote with copious amounts of coffee and cocktails to be had.

It felt strange to sit at the table while both men talked about work. It jarred you back to reality that whatever this weekend was – was just another marker – another notch of fun for them and come Monday you’d all be back to your respective lives. The air was fraught, the conversation a sign of things changing.

You toyed your empty wine glass and then cleared your throat. “Why don’t we go do something… fun?” You suggested.

Something flickered in Bryan’s eyes at your words. “I suppose we should. I’ll send for an Uber.”

Back at the hotel, each man took turns undressing you and then each other. The air was charged and hot. Bryan and Rafael each licked up the opposite slopes of your neck and you softly sighed, clutching onto each of their bodies.

You kissed each man and then sauntered over to the bed where you laid back and spread your legs. “Bryan…” You beckoned, curling your finger. Bryan approached the bed and went to his knees. His hands were on you, spreading you wider and rolled his tongue over your clit.

“Still so wet from earlier.” Bryan noted.

You threw your head back and your eyes fluttered closed as Bryan put his tongue to work on your pussy. The bed dipped and Rafael was at your tits, sucking on them and rolling your nipples with his fingers. You lost yourself in the pleasure and wrapped your fingers in Bryan’s dark hair, keeping him in place in between your thighs.

“Make me come Bryan.” You whined.

Bryan responded by going down on you with eager gusto, slipping a finger inside of you while sucking on your clit. You cried out and Bryan looked up. “Rafael, hook her legs up.”

Rafael did as told, holding your legs up to where you ears were. From that position, your ass was exposed. Bryan pressed his mouth to your puckered rosebud. He kept his tongue loose and open and used a lot of saliva. Bryan licked you up and down using his tongue and made a circular motion with it around and over. Meanwhile, Rafael reached below and used two fingers to rub concentric circles on your clit. Bryan spat on your puckered opening and inserted a finger inside of you. You let out a sob, feeling your orgasm peak and wash over you. Bryan moved his tongue from your ass to pussy, licking and sucking through your orgasm. Rafael kept rubbing your clit, occasionally pinching it gently. Another orgasm washed over you, and you came hard over Bryan’s face and Rafael’s fingers.

Bryan winked at Rafael as he lowered your legs back to the bed. Rafael was on Bryan instantly, kissing him. The two men rubbed their bodies against each other, each pumping one another’s cocks. You crawled between their lower halves and alternated sucking and jacking their cocks.

“Yes, suck his cock.” Bryan praised as you ran your tongue over the head of Rafael’s cock.

“You look so pretty with a mouthful cock.” Rafael complimented, his hand wrapped in your hair, guiding you. Bryan shifted and he joined you in sucking Rafael’s cock. You would pause to make out and then resume blowing Rafael.

Bryan stopped what he was doing and got the lube. He drizzled it over his cock and pumped it a few times, getting it good and slick. He motioned with his hand for Rafael to lay down and he did so. You watched as he slid into Rafael, buried to the hilt and then started to fuck into him with slow, steady thrusts. Bryan turned to you, stilling. “Climb up there sweetheart. Go ride that cock.” You grinned and moved to Rafael. An idea came to you, and you climbed onto Rafael. You slid onto Rafael easily, letting out an “oh” as he filled you up. You began rock and bounce on his cock, in tandem with Bryan’s thrusts. The tempos increased from you and Bryan as you chased your orgasms. Growling curses emanated from deep within from Rafael.

“So close, so close.” Rafael chanted. You bounced on his cock harder, your ass clapping on his thighs with every downstroke. As you all fucked, the voice of truth in your mind affirmed that these two men ruined you completely – there would be no normal after this – how could you go back to normal after this. With them all you knew was pleasure and decadence. You felt used and dirty, in the best way possible. Being their plaything was the best thing that had happened to you.

Bryan reached around you, finding your clit and rubbed. You stiffened, coming hard around Rafael’s cock, wailing both their names. Rafael let out a grunt coming hard inside you, so much that it seeped out of you while still connected. Bryan’s strokes broke and he pulled out, coming on your ass in white hot ropes.

You all collapsed in a mix of limbs and sweat. A goofy grin broke out on your face. “When can we do that again?”

“Dirty girl.” Bryan husked, nipping along the shell of your ear. He snaked his hand to your overstimulated cunt and cupped it possessively. You let out a soft moan and then turned to Rafael.

“Do you really have to go back?” You asked. The wistful look on you face turned into a haze of pleasure as Bryan sunk a finger in you.

“Lets not worry about that.” Rafael murmured, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. His hand then slipped to your throat and he gently but firmly, squeezed.

Truth be told, both men didn’t want whatever this was to end. They just each wanted this for as much time they could carve out. Tomorrow would come soon enough. Today. Today and tonight was all they had. And for now, that would be enough.

FIN.

{Tag List} @madpanda75 @tropes-and-tales @delia26 @mgarner1227 @beardedmccoy @youreverycolor @neely1177 @the-baby-bookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @annabelleb49 @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoolike @thefanficfaerie @theenchantedgalleryofstories @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @ktiz90 @evee87 @itsjustmyfantasyroom @blk0912 @detective-giggles @rampantmuses @jazzyjoi @caked-crusader @rachelxwayne @prurientpuddlejumper @lv7867 @permanentlydizzy @bisexual-dreamer02

#thatesqcrush kink bingo #rafael barba smut #bryan kneef smut #bryan kneef x reader #rafael barba x reader #bryan kneef imagine #rafael barba imagine

76 notes · View notes

wordsablaze · 3 years

Text

12~ i’ll be your lighthouse

tell me your problems (i’ll chase them away) Internal scars can be difficult to deal with but Eskel vows to heal any that Jaskier is weighed down by if it’s the last thing he does…

A/N: i didn’t think i’d finish this in time but i felt like spiting that spoiler so happy valentine’s !!

@random-nerd-3 @betaray-jones @w-s-kibela @in-love-with-writing002 @screaming-flapjacks @havenoffandoms @lasaga666 @mayastormborn

previous chapter

“Ow, Scorpion!” Eskel grumbles as said horse headbutts him.

It’s the third time she’s done so in the last two minutes and at this point, it’s safe to conclude she’s trying to complain about Jaskier taking too long. Eskel would agree with her but he doesn’t actually know how long it’s supposed to take anyone to purchase several items at a tailor’s so he sticks to waiting.

And waiting.

And being headbutted by Scorpion twice more.

And waiting.

And-

“Eskel!”

He turns his head to see Jaskier beaming at him, a small bag slung over his shoulder. It takes him a moment to realise what’s changed but he feels like a fool when he does for the bard is now wearing an entirely new outfit and it’s such a blatant contrast from his previous faded blue look that he has no idea how he nearly missed it.

“Well, what do you think?” Jaskier asks, his eyes bright.

Eskel blinks. “It’s very different.”

And it is. Although his chemise is a dark grey that’s only one shade away from looking like a shadow, both his doublet and his breeches are a deep red, decorated with spiralling silver patterns and black buttons that look far too delicate to function properly.

Jaskier rolls his eyes. “Thank you, darling, I hadn’t noticed.”

“And it looks, uh, very striking,” Eskel offers, still internally trying to get over how well the colour somehow makes his eyes seem even brighter.

Thankfully, Jaskier doesn’t seem too bothered by disjointed feedback, turning his attention to Scorpion when she steps towards him, gently running his fingers down her mane. “Sorry I took so long but not to worry, dear girl, I found you some apples.”

Eskel watches, transfixed, as Jaskier pulls an apple out of his pocket and offers it up to her, this time with no hesitation or guilt whatsoever; it’s oddly relieving to know the two are on such good terms for some reason.

“I really am sorry I took so long, Rafal was just finishing something else up - a spectacular dress I must say - and wouldn’t let me leave until I bought two sets even though I told him several times that someone was waiting for me!”

Chuckling, Eskel shakes his head. “It’s okay, we didn’t mind the wait. Especially not if it means you look so much more, uh…”

Jaskier smiles. “Like myself? Like a bard? Like someone you’d wish to be seen with? Like a true master of the liberal arts?”

Eskel starts nodding, only to frown. Before he can voice his complaint at Jaskier’s phrasing, Jaskier clears his throat. “So, should we get going? You mentioned travelling north, I believe. Piana would be the obvious next place to stop, though if you intend not to appreciate being able to sleep under a solid roof for as long as possible, then I suppose we could simply follow the river?”

“We can stop at an inn,” Eskel says first, a little confused.

“Great! I’m almost certain I’ve never ruined any marriages there so it should work out perfectly. Shall we?” Jaskier asks, holding out a hand.

Eskel is too busy wondering how Jaskier breezes through conversation so smoothly to catch up in time and unfortunately, he only figures he’s missed something when the air turns sour around them.

Cursing internally, he blinks himself back into the present. It’s only a second later that he notices Jaskier pulling his hand back. He reaches out to grab it before Jaskier gets the wrong impression, gently entwining their fingers. “Hey, what happened?”

Jaskier exhales slowly. “I thought for a moment that you might have… changed your mind. About the- this,” he manages, squeezing Eskel’s hand.

“Not for as long as I live, bardling,” Eskel promises; he’s more than proud of the small, honey-scented smile he receives in reply.

Scorpion headbutts him again, at which point he remembers what he was going to ask. “You said you only bought two sets?”

“Yes?” Jaskier frowns. “I did try telling him I only really needed one of each thing but Rafal was so adamant, you should have seen him! A lecture on fashion to rival my own, truly! But I honestly didn’t mean to-”

“No no, Jaskier, wait,” Eskel interrupts, “It’s okay. I’m glad you got more than one, that was the point after all. I just meant to ask if you’d like Scorpion to carry the bag, it doesn’t seem heavy and we’re both walking so it’s no trouble for her.”

Jaskier’s mouth forms almost a perfect circle before his cheeks flush and he nods. “Oh. Well, that would be lovely. You are most certainly the kindest man to grace the continent!”

Eskel can’t help wondering what kind of men Jaskier is used to dealing with if he thinks such simple compassion is so difficult to encounter. There’s one obvious answer but he’s certain Jaskier’s expectations are rooted in far more than just his time with Geralt so he holds off on cursing him this time.

He also briefly wonders if there’s anything in the bag at all, it’s so light in comparison to when he has to carry his armour anywhere, but Jaskier hadn’t smelt like he was lying so he doesn’t risk worrying him by asking as he attaches it to Scorpion.

“Could I-?” Jaskier cuts himself off, then takes a deep breath and tries again. “Could I have my lute back?”

“You don’t need to ask,” Eskel replies, easily handing it to him.

Jaskier nods, visibly relieved, and slings the lute over his shoulder where the bag had been. Though it seems as though the bag had been a substitute for the lute case if the way Jaskier’s whole frame seems to relax is anything to go by. It reminds him of how comforting it is to feel his swords at his back and he’s glad that Jaskier had felt confident enough to ask for such comfort.

With that, they set off, Eskel keeping Scorpion’s reins in one hand and Jaskier’s hand in the other. It’s a little odd to have both his hands occupied but he can’t say he’s complaining. If he’s honest, he’s doing the exact opposite of complaining.

“Why red?” Eskel asks eventually.

Jaskier jumps, his grip on Eskel’s hand fleetingly tightening to an almost painful level. He chuckles softly as his pulse slows to its normal speed. “Quite simply, darling, it reminded me of you. I thought it would only be fair for my first new look to reflect the one who prompted its existence.”

Eskel has to close his eyes for a moment in order to process that. He’s not sure what he’d been imagining - something to do with poetic contrasts or rebuilding, perhaps - but such casual sincerity hadn’t even registered as a possibility and he’s pretty certain the newfound warm twisting of his stomach relates to being honoured.

“Thank you,” he says quietly, “but you really didn’t have to.”

Jaskier turns to him with an eyebrow raised. “And you didn’t have to delay our travels in the first place but here we are. Now stop rejecting my gratitude or I will force you to listen to it in every single tavern we stop by.”

“Aren’t you already doing that?” Eskel points out.

“That doesn’t count!” Jaskier argues. “That one is beneficial for both of us.”

It probably is, but Eskel has a feeling their reasoning would be rather different. He doesn’t say anything else, though, just gently tugs Jaskier close until their shoulders are brushing and appreciates the way his breath hitches before he relaxes again, smelling sweetly of silk and sunshine.

He’s never before been in such close contact with someone for so long but it’s a pleasant change. Jaskier starts humming after a while, swinging their hands in tune with whatever he’s singing in his head, and Eskel has to force himself not to distract or interrupt him because good gods the experience is so soothing.

Predictably, Jaskier freezes once he stops humming, looking for all the world like a kitten caught pushing something off a table. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Don’t need to apologise,” Eskel finishes for him with a smile that he wishes could be as soft as he intends it to be.

“Right,” Jaskier agrees, then laughs. “You haven’t heard that one before, have you?”

Eskel shakes his head. “Should I recognise it?”

“I would be surprised if you did,” Jaskier says, “for I got it from a crumbling tome written in elder that I stole from an ancient crypt deep within the forests.”

“You what?” Eskel frowns, not sure whether or not he should be concerned that Jaskier is inadvertently summoning vengeful spirits or the like with whatever it is he’s using to pass the time.

It takes Jaskier a minute to stop laughing. “Okay, I lied. It wasn’t buried in a crypt and I didn’t steal anything… that time. But it was from an old tome written in elder.”

Eskel sighs but gives in and laughs when Scorpion nudges him, causing Jaskier to grin happily. “Clearly one of you thought it was amusing, what brilliant taste she has! Hey, that deserves better than an eye-roll!”

“Perhaps,” Eskel admits, almost guilty about said eye-roll. Almost.

Jaskier snorts. “We both know you’re secretly amused too. So, do you want to hear it? Do you know elder?”

Eskel shrugs. “A little. Probably not enough to understand your song, though.”

“We’ll see!”

And so they do. Except Eskel doesn’t see because he understands perhaps a dozen of the couple hundred words Jaskier sings, but it sounds enchanting all the same. It also feels enchanting because Jaskier taps out the rhythm onto the back of Eskel’s hand as he sings and he’d be lying if he said his whole arm doesn’t feel the resulting warmth.

He’s not sure what to make of the words themselves; Jaskier’s tone is filled with hope and agony and something wistful that sounds as if it’s been plucked from the dreams of fallen angels. His voice never wavers in the slightest and yet there is an unease to his singing, a promise that threatens to be broken, a wish stuck between being fulfilled and being destroyed. It’s beautiful and it’s painful and it’s nothing he’s ever heard before.

Jaskier is breathless when he stops, face flushed and eyes sparkling, and Eskel wishes he knew more of what had been sung so he could adequately express his admiration. “That was magnificent,” he whispers finally.

“It is,” Jaskier agrees after catching his breath, his grin so wide it looks like it’s about to break free of his face altogether. “It was years ago but it feels like just yesterday that I learned it. I don’t even understand every word but it still makes sense together, like a mystery that can only be solved if it’s being sung.”

Eskel has no idea what he means but it sounds poetic and seems to fit him perfectly so he just hums in acknowledgement and lets silence wash over them as they continue. Not that the silence lasts long.

“Why do you wear red then?” Jaskier asks.

Unprepared for such a question, Eskel draws a blank. “It hides the bloodstains?”

Their hands being firmly tied together means he’s forced to stop walking when Jaskier freezes on the spot, his face a comical epitome of shock.

“Gods, Jaskier, I- I was joking. It’s not really- It’s just a nice colour,” Eskel blurts, torn between laughing and cursing at himself for being so thoughtless.

He swears he can literally see Jaskier’s exhale. It only takes a few moments for him to recover and use his index finger to poke Eskel’s chest. “Don’t ever joke about bloodstains like that. I am well aware that you witchers like to think you can get injured and bleed out and stitch yourselves up as you please but you can’t. You can’t and you shouldn’t and I swear if I was in charge of things, I would have it outlawed to- to not take care of yourselves. You horrible, selfless, insensitive, beautiful beings. No! Ugh, that was meant to be an insult.”

Eskel is still torn between laughing and cursing but now he’s aware of a much more tempting third option, which is to wrap his arms around Jaskier and hold him close for a moment. A long moment. Several long moments, really.

Jaskier buries his head in Eskel’s neck so Eskel lifts one arm to curl his hand around the back of Jaskier’s head, gently running his hand through his hair. Jaskier shivers at the touch but only holds on tighter so Eskel takes that as a sign to continue, waiting patiently as the wilting flowers in the distance between them fade into calmer waves of ink and rose and sunrise.

“I’m sorry,” Eskel murmurs.

Sighing softly, Jaskier pulls back. “No, I’m sorry. I…”

“You don’t need to explain yourself,” Eskel says, even though he would very much appreciate an explanation for such a fierce response.

Jaskier shakes his head, brushing non-existent tears from his eyes. “I need you to know it wasn’t your fault… It was the... song. It’s a rather powerful tale and I forgot how hellish it is to convey. There are a lot of emotions involved in storytelling, you know?”

He doesn’t, not really.

And he wants to ask about the song, about whatever it is Jaskier had been singing about. He wants to ask what was being said and what the mystery entailed and why it was hellish to convey but the last thing he wants is for Jaskier to panic and spiral into guilt so he swallows his questions down.

“I can imagine,” he says, offering a smile.

Jaskier grins at that, raising both hands and placing them gently on either side of his face, his thumb stroking careful lines across his cheeks. “You have the sweetest smile, Eskel.”

When Eskel makes to pull back, Jaskier leans forward and draws him close until their noses are pressed together, his hands keeping his head where it is without hurting him even in the slightest. “Don’t run from my words, darling, they’re only the truth and they’ll catch up with you in the end.”

“Why does that sound like it’s a threat?” Eskel asks, his throat strangely clogged.

Laughing, Jaskier brushes his thumbs across Eskel’s cheeks again, this time tracing his scars. “It is a threat. I’m very threatening.”

Eskel laughs. He hears Scorpion huff behind him and that only makes him laugh harder, Jaskier joining in until they’re both forced to let go of each other lest they topple over and hurt themselves. Well, falling over wouldn’t exactly hurt a witcher but Eskel doesn’t want to take any risks on the behalf of bards.

“Shut up, I can be threatening!” Jaskier exclaims, but he’s too busy trying to catch his breath from laughing too hard to sound as if he’s telling the truth.

“Of course. I feel very threatened,” Eskel teases, but it’s not quite a lie.

A part of him certainly feels threatened, the part that never before considered his smile sweet or his voice kind or his actions worthy of song. Though perhaps that’s a threat worth embracing, he thinks. Then Jaskier’s hand slips back into his and he decides it’s most definitely a threat worth embracing, with both arms wide open.

Scorpion must agree with him for she nearly breaks his nose as she moves her head, forcing him to step closer to Jaskier until they’re back to their arms brushing as they walk, falling perfectly into step with one another.

“The murky depths of a hollow love, the lies that you see above… the surface…”

Eskel groans as Jaskier starts singing again, still not remotely comfortable with hearing about himself so often, but both of them know it’s more of a performatory complaint because being immortalised in song is an honour he won’t refuse.

He has no idea how Jaskier can walk and sing at the same time and he makes a mental note to pause for a break once the song is complete. The lyrics all but wash over him as they walk because he’s too focused on the way Jaskier keeps swinging their arms or tapping on his skin to keep himself in tune, and this time there's no subtle melancholy to watch out for.

“Be not afraid if danger is near…”

He does glance sideways at that, though, because he’s pretty sure Jaskier had mentioned a siren as opposed to generic danger before, but Jaskier is grinning and winks at him when their eyes meet.

“For the rose of the wolves will hold your hand.”

Eskel smiles back at that, tightening his grip on Jaskier’s hand. He doesn’t quite know how to convey that he feels the same way so he just raises an eyebrow. “I could have sworn that rhymed last time.”

Jaskier splutters in offence for a moment before elbowing him. “It’s not as though I’ll be singing that line in taverns, it wouldn’t be right for dozens of strangers to steal your lovely hands away.”

“Not to worry, bardling, It’s not a service I offer to just anyone,” Eskel laughs, frankly not convinced that anyone else would even be interested.

“Well I intend to take full advantage.” Jaskier winks again.

His face now all but aching from smiling for much longer than he’s used to, Eskel nods. “The pleasure will be all mine.”

Jaskier beams at him, his face still flushed from having sung for so long, and Eskel is absolutely sure that had their positions been reversed, he’d likely have sung that into a ballad of some sort.

“We should probably take a break,” Eskel says a couple minutes later once they reach a suitable place to stop, a small clearing visible not too far from the road.

As if on cue, Scorpion neighs and stops walking.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” Jaskier chuckles.

And when they settle to eat this time, they’re sat right beside one another, their elbows bumping and their knees knocking together every so often, and Eskel marvels at how something so new and unfamiliar and borderline threatening can also seem so right.

okay, i know it’s not quite valentine’s-worthy romance but there’s only one braincell between them and scorpion has it atm-

thanks for reading! masterlist | witcher sideblog: @itsjaskier | next chapter

#jaskel #jaskier x eskel #the witcher #jaskier #eskel #fanfiction #slow burn #hurt comfort #hurt jaskier #soft eskel #fluff and angst #scorpion is the real mvp #my writing #tmypicta #we have hit 30k that's pretty neat-

28 notes · View notes

themadauthorshatter · 3 years

Text

This is probably going to be the last part for my AWWP touch up. I'll try to keep it quick and consistent.

So, where we left off, Tedros just got thrown in the dungeon, and the schools are ready for war.

This time, though, Chaddick gets put in Tedros's old position, guarding the Storian, only now he's looking for it. And Tristan, but the boys are more concerned about the pen.

How coincidental that when Filip joins, he joins Chaddick on this job.

While on this search, either Chaddick or Filip(who is Sophie, but I'm still calling him Filip because I hate School Year!Sophie.) find old drafts of that letter Tedros wrote for Agatha, saying how he was sorry for casting the spell, how he didn't see Aric's manipulation sooner, and that no matter who or what she chose, he'd understand. He didn't get why his mother left his father, but he will get why Agatha wants to stay in Gavaldon with her friend.

He ends most of these letters with, 'Regardless of what you do, who you love, or where you are, I'll always love you. I'll never forget how good of a friend you've been to me or how you saw me for more than a prince waiting to be king. Thank you for everything. I hope you find you're Ever After, one way or another.'

I'm going with Chaddick finding these letters first and taking a few before Filip finds the rest.

Chaddick hides them and tries to tell the boys what's up with Aric and hiw Tedros is being wrongly punished, but they don't listen because, in their eyes, Aric has been nothing but helpful and an honset to goodness saint.

Back with Agatha, she gets Tedros's REAL letter and learns Evelyn's plan, and realizes that she wants to write Sophie back into a witch, so either her own Evil destroys her or so another student can kill her, and earse the boys out of existence, all but ONE, so it's just her and Rafal; she'd see the other boys as weak and unworthy compared to him, and she's convinced she can bear him stronger boys, if he'll have her, which he will, in her mind.

Agatha is appalled by this and realizes that Sophie and Tedros are in serious trouble, and they need to be saved NOW.

She replies with her own letter, sending it via arrow, before running to report to Dovey and Lesso.

Back with Tedros, he goes through the same treatment as before, but Aric is more of an ass to him, feigning sympathy, mocking him by asking if he wishes Agatha was there to save him, and even saying that no one will believe him now, after everything.

Tedros has a Margaery Tyrell moment by throwing some food and water at Aric and calls him a, "vicious bastard."

Aric punches and kicks him for this, rubbing salt on the wound by calling him pathetic and saying how he'll die alone the way he deserves, just like Sophie.

"I'm nothing like her."

"Keep telling yourself that." With that, Aric leaves.

Aric leaves and Tedros tries to keep his composure, even though Aric's words are too deep to stomach.

We get the scenes with Tedros and Filip that sort of kick off a small rivalry.

As in everyone favors Filip and hates on Tedros.

Speaking of the boy, he now spends his nights shackled to the wall by his wrists to he can't try to attack Aric or anyone else.

Aric eats in front of him and talks about Filip to essentially rub salt in the wound.

One night, though, CHADDICK is the one to interrogate Tedros.

Aric puts up some resistance, but leaves to help Filip look for the Storian when Manley snaps at him.

The two friends talk, and Chaddick gives Tedros an apple before revealing he found a lot of old drafts of the letter he sent Agatha.

Tedros admits he wrote them, but is saddened that Agatha probably didn't get the one he sent.

"Wouldn't say that, if I were you, mate."

Chaddick shows Tedros Agatha's letter and reads it to him; he can't really hold stuff while locked up.

It reads that she's sorry for not believing him when they met up and that she should've made sure they were really alone. She also writes that she came to a very sickening revelation: she saw Tedros and Aric and saw herself and Sophie, one being pulled around and controlled by the other. She tells him that she will look for a way to send Sophie back to Gavaldon or have her stay in the School for Good while she and Tedros stay in Camelot. If it's not too late, she'll help him find a way to end this war between boys and girls.

She also stipulates that she can write to Sophie amd her mother.

And that she can bring Reaper with her so Tedros can get a feel for a cat's love; it was a conversation they had on one of their nightly meet ups, where Tedros admitted he'd never owned a cat because they just freaked him out.

Chaddick doesn't get the sentiment, but it makes Tedros cry because it was funny and because he'd like for that to happen, and the idea fills him with joy.

HOW COINCIDENTAL FILIP FINDS A VERY SIMILAR DRAFT OF THE LETTER.

Sophie, Sophie, Filip, who cares anymore, feels absolutely gutted by this because there might be a real chance she'll lose her friend.

It doesn't help that after saving Tedros from hetting tortured by Aric, Tedros admits that Agtha is a good friend for looking out for Sophie, given everything she's done to the both of them.

He then breaks down and admits that he was stupid because Aric and Sophie are so alike on that they trick and hurt others and he should've seen it sooner.

He then thanks Filip for being good to him, even if most of the other boys left him alone.

The Trial occurs, Tristan dies, and Filip is revealed to be Sophie.

Tedros has another mini breakdown because he trusted the person that almost made him lose his true love, but Agatha calms him down and they kiss just as the boys and girls charge at each other.

We get the ending like before and Tedros and Agatha are sent to Gavaldon.

I hope ypu guys enjoyed these touch ups, I had a really good time seeing how I could make these scenarios a little better to read.

I'm getting a little bittersweet saying goodbye to this phase, but thanks for stickim3g around to read these, really. Thank you all so much!

#school for good and evil #tedros of camelot #agatha of woods beyond #sophie of woods beyond #tagatha #sge tedros #sge agatha #sge aric #touch up #thank you all so much

20 notes · View notes

acciostorian · 4 years

Text

hort: the sge marmite

(you either love him or hate him)

now, i’m making this post because it has come to my attention that the fandom’s opinion(s) on hort are very mixed.

you either love him: from what i have seen (from instagram and tumblr) a good majority of the fandom adore/stan/love hort. but why? (i am keeping my personal opinion out of this until the end.)

let’s start with the school years (sge, awwp, tlea)-

sge: hort is first introduced straight off the bat as creepy, skinny and a weasle in general. the first interaction we have with hort as a character is him asking to touch sophie’s hair the moment they arrive at the school for evil.

literally the first mention of hort is to do with one of his biggest character flaws, being a sophie simp. now, i’m going to be honest, i don’t remember anything to do with hort for the first book for the most part. i thought hort was going to be a small/side character that’ll be mentioned once or twice - kind of like how kiko was mentioned as agatha’s friend in sge.

horts love confession in sge, this is a scene i didn’t see coming. as i said, i didn’t really pay attention to hort i kind of forgot his presence until it was towards the end of the book when sophie was getting jealous of agatha (and blossoming tagatha) and she was researching evil shit in the common room with hort for the circus of talents.

so hort on the toilet trying to turn into a man-wolf without shitting himself and sophie is like evilly rambling about agatha and tagatha and she slips something about ‘love’.

hort offhandedly says, “i know evil cant love but if i had to love someone, i’d love you.” and then just fucking falls asleep?!! like okay, hort, you drop probably the cutest and most heartfelt comment that has ever bounced off the walls of the school for evil.

this was the first signal, at least for me, that hort was going to be a recurring character. everything goes down hill from here.

before we start on awwp, an honourable mention:

the nevers’ no ball where sophie whispered something into hort’s ear. SOMAN I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHE SAID.

awwp: this is where we start to see hort’s crazy, obsessive side. hort studied tedros from afar, taking in his movements and mannerisms to try and steal his ‘style’. so sophie would love him because she ‘loved’ tedros.

what i find so funny about awwp is that hort unknowingly simped over sophie’s boy form. like he didn’t have the faintest clue that filip of mount honora was in fact the girl who keeps him up at night.

if you think he wasn’t simping than let me remind you, he practically begged castor for filip to be put in his room, he sacrificed his own grades to help filip do better than everyone else, he stuck to him like a piece of gum, he can to confirm every other day wether or not filip was still his best friend because he didn’t want to loose him. heck, he made filip his best friend without even knowing what filip was like!

anyway, before we shall hop into tlea let me just say: personally i think in the first two books hort is a sweet, cute, funny-ish character.

tlea: tlea is like where we see how fucking far hort would go for sophie. so hort gets absolutely swol like tedros and starts ‘focusing on himself’ by getting his grades up and being the best in the school for new evil.

the only reason he did this is because he was pretty sure sophie was becoming evil’s queen and marrying a man that could kill hort without a second thought.

once rafal allows sophie a tour around the school hort is there to silently show out his new form. (you can’t convince me he was just ‘there’ for the hell of it).

like rafal is being the aladdin and practically singing ‘i can show you the world- that is dark and twisted and completely controlled by me, this is not a democracy,’ and hort is leaning up against a wall, waiting for sophie to pass so she can see how he’s evolved.

even fucking rafal knows his game, literally says, “wow, you’re the top student- well done. anywayyyy, shouldn’t you be working?- she’s out of your league.”

then we have the classic hot tub espionage. they have a bath together yarda, yarda, yarda soman love it.

in the book hort at least becomes self aware of his sophie obsession and kind of takes a moment to have small breakdowns about what the fuck he’s doing with his life.

okay so it’s cannon that hort’s tedros impersonation was so good that he could even fall sophie who was basically in love with him back then. like c’mon, that’s fucking weird.

now for something i can’t process and hate:

*inhales heavily* HORT FUCKING LEFT SCHOOL, HIS STUDIES AND HIS SAFTEY TO BE WITH SOPHIE! LIKE HE LITERALLY LEFT THE ONE PLACE HE’D SORT IF BE SAFE IN TO JOIN THE MOST WANTED GROUP IN THE WOODS BECAUSE SOPHIE WAS WITH THEM. AND THEN WHEN SHE PLAINLY SAID THAT SHE DIDNT WANT HIM THERE HE STILL PROCEEDED TO WALK SEVERAL PACES BEHING HER LIKE A CREEPY SHADOW. HE WAS HER BODYGUARD EVEN THOUGH SHE FRANKLY DIDNT NEED ONE BEING EVIL’S QUEEN! THEN LATER ON WHEN SOPHIE IS CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED AND IS BEGGING FOR TEDROS TO TAKE HER HORT FINDS SOME WISH FISH AND PLAYS AROUND WITH THEM! AND YOU KNOW WHAT HIS FUCKING DEEPEST TRUEST WISH WAS??? IT WAS TO MARRH SOPHIE— I CANT WITH THIS FUCKING MAN. that’s all i have to say on tlea.

#school for good and evil #sge #sge textposts #hort of bloodbrook #sophie of woods beyond #tedros of camelot #agatha of woods beyond #HORT PLEASE GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER

30 notes · View notes

devourer--of--books · 4 years

Text

Remember that one time I wrote a Tangled AU?

Context

During 2016, I submitted a few stories for Tagatha Ship Week. Not my best work, but some of my most known works nonetheless. Amongst those, I had a Tangled AU that was originally meant to be a one shot (which has been deleted because sweet lord that was bad), then turned into a draft for a multichapter story and then turned into this cursed WIP I completely forgot about, which you can find on both Ao3 and FF.net under the name of ‘blinking in the starlight’.

Every once in a while someone comes across it, as it was the case with ‘if you’re not the bride’ and it would remind me of its existence. But unlike IYNTB, I have no interest in rewriting it or continuing this story.

A few weeks ago I found the original draft for ‘blinking in the starlight’ in my dad’s old computer, so I thought I might do a post no one asked for (some people did, you guys are great, humoring me like that) on what the plot was supposed to be.

But after sitting with it I wasn’t fully satisfied (as usual, fml). So, like the clown that I am, I decided that since we are already here, might as well make it into an actual AU post, mind my language, I’m frustrated.

Blinking In The Starlight: Tangled AU

Okay, so I’m gonna presume that you read the WIP, so if you didn’t, maybe check that out first and then come back to this post. Or don’t, it’s not like it’s a very complex narrative anyway.

Many, many years before this story starts, there was a cruel sorcerer named Rafal.

He tormented the Endless Woods for centuries, extorting kingdoms and stuff, you know, very much a two-dimensional character whose motivations I definitely did not think through. Being evil I guess?

No one could defeat him, because he always somehow ended up knowing the traps were coming and was two steps ahead. No one knew how, so they just like, presumed it was because he was psychic or something.

Until one day, a young vain prince named Arthur of Camelot decides to order a hunt to the big blue falcons, to get their feathers as a present to the girl he was courting, one Lady Guinevere.

Would you believe those birds were Rafal’s spies? Now that everyone was hunting them, they could no longer listen in as easily.

So when Prince Arthur campaigns against Rafal’s evilness and challenges him to a duel in which he tricks the sorcerer and defeats him, stripping him of most his powers (and therefore his immortality), everyone was shook

Don’t ask me how he did it, I honestly do not know

But instead of killing Rafal, Arthur agrees to spare his mortal life as long as he gives him a powerful love potion for Guinevere and never shows his face around Camelot ever again.

Rafal is pissed, but says sure why not, because he knew Arthur would be crushed once the potion effects wore off and Guinevere left him anyway

So yeah, they became King and Queen, everyone thinks Rafal is dead, Camelot became known as the guardian kingdom of the Endless Woods alliance, yada yada.

Meanwhile, Rafal, now mortal and still pissed af, looks for a way to get his immortality back, because he is now old and tired all the time.He goes to one of his oldest allies and they tell him a rumor about a woman named Vanessa who found a way to stay young forever using a bird.

It takes a few years for him to track her down, but when he does, he tries to convince her to show him the bird. Vanessa is like that sounds like a you problem, so he threatens her and she tells him she ate it to save her life during her pregnancy (do not ask me how this works, why she couldn’t have healed herself like usual, I don’t know okay)

Rafal is pissed again, because Vanessa was still looking young, so either she lied or she was omitting something and decides you know what, screw you and murders everyone, trying to find the damned bird.

But then he hears soft singing from the closet. A little girl named Sophie, who apparently had inherited the bird’s ability to restore youth.

First, he thinks of raising her as his daughter. But then, one day she’d try to leave him for a boy, so he decides to trick her into thinking he was that boy, so she’d never want to leave him.

He sells her this bullshit story about everything being a fairytale like the ones her books, makes himself look like a teenager and tells her he is now going to take care of her because they are true loves and whatnot

Using the money from his previous evilness (why am I like this), he builds a tower and gaslights the hell out of her telling her is was to keep the danger outside, when actually he was caging her in. Her guards are all mercenaries and her maids are kidnaped slaves so, hm, that’s nice

He keeps visiting her to restore his youth, but he needs the macguffin Arthur used to take away his immortality (I didn’t specify what it was in my draft, so let’s say its Excalibur, for the sake of storytelling) to restore his full greatness, so he starts a long-long-plan to overthrow Camelot once he gets him hands on the sword.

However, Sophie is a person of her own, even being manipulated and gaslighted. She wants to go outside and see the world. Obviously Rafal won’t let her, and even gives her a ring to summon him and stuff, so she won’t think about going anywhere out of his sight.

But she ends up doing it anyway because she’s Sophie

Now hold on a minute.

Back in Camelot, Arthur has already died, Guinevere ran off with Lancelot and Tedros is a brat, walking around with Excalibur (not knowing how powerful it actually is) playing glorified police officer for the royal guard as a way to prove he’ll be a good king someday.

Festival season is approaching and prince Teddy is on a man-hunt (woman-hunt?) for the thief that has been ambushing noble carriages.

They have some good banter, but the thief always manages to distract him and get away.

Guess who is the thief

It’s Agatha, leave me alone, I was 15 and loved cliches, shut up

Yes, I know I’m now almost 19 and still love cliches, moving on

Agatha is stealing money from the rich like a robin hood pro, because festival season is expensive and poor people need to eat okay

But prince-holier-than-thou keeps showing up so she decides to be petty and steal directly from him. Girl just wanted some gold, but ends up with Excalibur because Tedros is an idiot

So he chases her through the woods for days on end, hot on her trail, and Aric gets caught on the crossfire between them. Agatha presumes from his uniform that there is a castle near and decides to hide there.

Tagatha ends up in Sophie’s tower, and she hides Excalibur to bargain with them.

She strikes a deal with Tedros to show her the festival in exchange for Excalibur.

Agatha is just f this shit im out, she didn’t want the sword in the first place and last thing she needs is going to Camelot with a pseudo-police-officer.

But then Tedros realizes he doesn't know how to go back to Camelot and Sophie makes him promise not to turn Agatha in. Agatha is still skeptical, so he promises to lift taxes for the lower classes and she agrees to be their unofficial guide back to Camelot.

Princes can't break promises, don’t ask

The three of them escape the tower.

Shenanigans ensue.

There’s a scene of Agatha helping people in a tavern and Tedros is like???? she nice????

Sophie finding out that the old wizard from her story was the guy King Arthur supposedly killed and doubting Rafal’s lies.

There’s Tedros explaining his need to be just and abide by the laws all the time due to the pressure of his father’s rep after the three of them nearly die of hypothermia (?)

Sophie telling them about her talent.

Very wholesome really.

Meanwhile tho, Aric finally manages to alert Rafal that Sophie left, and Rafal summons his birds to look for her, figuring out that she had Excalibur (how? Idk)

When the trio reaches Camelot, it’s still a few days before the festival. Agatha says she is done and needs to be on her way, but Tedros (softly, may I add) asks her to stay, at least until the lantern scene/day/tradition/thingy

Their unspoken feelings are all over the place and Sophie decides to play matchmaker.

They stay in an inn (why did Tedros not sneak them into the castle, you ask? I don’t know, don’t ask) and Sophie makes the guy tell them there is only two rooms. She then makes up some balloney about wanting to be by herself, so Agatha and Tedros share a room.

Yeah, you know what I’m doing, don’t you: there’s only one bed.

Some other tropes for a very fluffy chapter equivalent of the score of Kingdom Dance, which is my favorite song in the Tangled Soundtrack, fight me, is such a good ‘falling in love montage’ song

But the fluff doesn’t last long, because the very night of the festival, just as you can almost hear Tagatha singing ‘and at last I see the light’, Rafal’s birds find Sophie and take off her ring by force.

Rafal crashes the festival, stealing Excalibur from Sophie and unleashing his coupe against Camelot, back to being immortal and super over-powered.

He throws Sophie back in her tower, and when she doesn't comply and asks him to stop we have a ‘I never loved you’ ‘you were always just a bird to me, a dumb bird’ moment and Sophie is just destroyed because aside from her new friends (whom she believed were dead) Rafal is all she has.

Back in Camelot, complete mayhem is being wrecked, bloodshed and stuff. Agatha manages to rescue Tedros before his execution and they figure out that they need to rescue Sophie and get Excalibur to kill Rafal for good.

“Insert part one of TLEA here”, bitch, I kid you not, that’s exactly what I wrote wtf even is this draft

Somehow it all leads into this big confrontation, in which Sophie strips Rafal of his immortality using the sword but can’t bring herself to kill him. So she asks Tedros to do it, so he can prove himself to his kingdom.

I do not know where Agatha is during this, but I’m pretty sure she’s like, fatally wounded or something

Rafal reveals to Tedros why Arthur spared his life the first time and offers him a potion to make Agatha return his (already mutual, you idiot) feelings.

Tedros is like, nah, I’m gonna kill you, and Rafal is like are you sure she won’t just ride off and leave you like your mama?

And Tedros is just, honestly, man, I’m not, but I’m not gonna force her. Then some analogy about caging birds and Rafal is dead.

Yey, happy ending.

So Tedros and Agatha are left in this limbo, because she poor and she a criminal and he a prince.

Tedros decides to have Agatha take the glory of killing Rafal to redeem her in the public eye, grants her a title, she makes Sophie her lady-in-waiting and they all live happily ever after the end.

#school for good and evil #The School for Good and Evil #school for good and evil series #blinking in the starlight #sge #Sophie of Woods Beyond #Agatha of Woods Beyond #tedros of camelot #Tagatha #tagatha ship week 2016 #Rafal

14 notes · View notes

bloodkingdomrp · 5 years

Photo

♚LUNA.WERNER

“ Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company “

✚ AGE & DOB: Twenty-Nine & November 1st, 1989 ✚ OCCUPATION: Call Girl for The Mirage ✚ AFFILIATION: Kovali & Associate

♛THE HISTORY♛

Her upbringing was nothing short of mundane. When her sister came along, the monotony continued; A family of 4 who went about their normal lives and supped together every night lived in a quiet kind of bliss. It remained so, until the cool autumn evening when Luna’s mother lost her appetite. According to doctors, by that time the cancer was already so bad she’d only have a couple of weeks. In a perfect world Luna would have had a million moments left with her mother: gushing over first kisses, crying over first heartbreaks, filling out college applications, prom photos, graduation, graduation, wedding, baby- whatever it be, the experiences were lined up. No world is perfect’ those few weeks passed too quickly for a ten year old girl who had a lifetime yet to live. Her mother died Devil’s Night, two days before Luna was set to turn eleven.

The mundane little family was decimated, buried beneath the ash of the eruption that shook their world. It didn’t take long for their suburban complacency to change. In a matter of months, the now single father plucked his children from their cozy Winnetka home and right into some inner city 2 bedroom setup.

Luna hadn’t noticed anything amiss until she was thirteen; when her mother’s jewelry started to disappear. Beautiful gold and jeweled pieces that, with each passing day, diminished in number. She interrogated her six year old sister and reminded her of the rules of dress-up, though it made no impact. Stirring late at night from a dryness in her throat, Luna spotted the real thief; her own father tucking a set of diamond and white gold earrings into the breast pocket of his flannel shirt. Fourteen, she noticed the rancid smell of liquor steeped sweat that lingered on the laundry she did. She noticed the crushed cans in the bed of her father’s truck. The newspaper with red sharpie marking sports pages from top to bottom, notes scribbled in the margins. Fifteen, she was a mother- a child in charge of raising her little sister now her father drank and gambled away any and all money and sense he had. The bottom line was- they needed to live. Eight hours spent at school was welcome, any time spent at home was keeping conditions livable. Sixteen, Luna dropped out of school. Rumors spread as to why: pregnancy, elopement, illness, some strange combination of all three. Her favorite was the one where she was a winner of American Idol and had to brush off her old life and live a new and glamorous one. The truth was: she had to support herself and her little sister. In place of school, she got a full-time job serving at a little diner in town. The pay was low, but tips were good as the food was greasy. Still not a perfect world, it was the best a high school drop out could manage. She started serving and worked her way up to manager a few years in. Co-workers came and went, times changed and presidents didn’t change shit except their rhetoric, passive patrons of the Kovali became dear, protective friends she held in high regard. None quite so as Rafal- he was intelligent and made her smile, not to mention his glowering at rude customers helped with tips. He was a spark that seemed to light a corner of her cold little soul. Still, he belonged to someone else.

As if by some hideous trick of fate, Devil’s Night of 2016 came, and ended in another death. Her father, deeply indebted to the Faction, had been capped by someone all too eager to take the job. Luna was in the diner, cataloging necessities for the next restock of supplies when two police officers came in and shared the news. She wanted to be upset, wanted to hurt, but she knew who was nipping at his haunches and the reasons why.

She was numb to the loss, in a way she hadn’t been when her mother had gone. Her father was a stranger, and his murder his own fault. He was gone, body turned to ash and kept in a little box in the trunk of her car. All that mattered was keeping her little sister safe. Thankfully, the kid was away at school in another state, and fate answered from a late-night interaction at the ramshackle diner.

An older woman, dressed in a designer cream-colored power suit, laced in pearls and diamonds looking for all the world like a politician took her place at a burgundy booth. She came in for a coffee, she claimed, but left Luna with a possibility: sell fantasy, charge thousands, live comfortably. Like any little girl, Luna once dreamed of grandeur; princess, rock star, mermaid. She never wagered the final would be the nearest she’d get; a siren calling men toward her. Whiskey on the rocks in a smoky bar, Luna drank as she gnawed over the offer, the idea masticating in the jaws of her mind. A conflicting yet welcome interruption came as Rafal joined her flank. Hours later, liquor on their breaths, bodies bare and pressed close, she couldn’t help but think:

He was one hell of a test client.

♜ THE DETAILS♜

(+): + cautious + attentive + charismatic

(-): - cynical - ornery - obstinate

Face Claim: Inbar Lavi

written by Ali | CST

#the faithful #kovali #closed

1 note · View note

mtvswatches · 5 years

Text

Jane the Virgin 1x07 Chapter Seven

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) It’s nice to get a little more backstory to their first kiss.

NARRATOR: Unfortunately, as Jane described their magical talk, Xo had the distinct impression that…

XIOMARA: He sounds like a playboy, hon.

JANE: I know. I know. He seemed like he would be, but he wasn't.

JANE: He seemed so sincere.

XIOMARA: That's what makes a good playboy. You never feel like you're getting played.

Of course, this was before the cancer, the marriage, Petra’s miscarriage (I’m assuming it was a miscarriage, although this being a telenovela, it could have easily been a fake pregnancy, we’ll see…), and everything that has happened since the show started. Rafael was a different person then, and so was Jane. She seemed to be much more naïve and gullible back then.

The part I’m not buying, though, is how they managed not to run into each other for over 4 years? Like, she was working at the hotel he owned, wasn’t there any awkward encounters like EVER? The show definitely makes it sound as if they had gone by almost five years without seeing or talking to each other…

2) I have to say, I’m with Xiomara and with the stop sign on this one…

It does seem a bit rushed for them to get together, especially considering all the special circumstances that brought them into each other’s lives. And I’m sorry if I’m raining on the shippers’ parade, but they barely know each other? It seems they’re more in lust than in love, and the whole “meant to be” thing is more “meant to be in your pants” than fate. I really hope the show makes me feel different about this because I do enjoy their interactions so far, I like them as characters, and I can see the chemistry there, but I also need some depth to their relationship, you know?

3) Okay, so Rafael showed up and asked her out, and they almost kissed but Jane told him she needed some time and space, which, yes, good for you. But I don’t see that time and space thing lasting too long for some reason…

4) I have a feeling Petra would like to switch places with Jane right now…

5) The fucking nuns are using Jane as a fucking fertility attraction or something. Without her knowledge.

6) Did you know that I love Rogelio?

7) We all know I’m not fond of Michael, but… he did ask Jane point blank if the breakup had anything to do with Rafael, and she lied. Even if there were things Michael did that contributed to her deciding to break up with him, Rafael had a lot to do with it as well. I guess she was trying to spare his feelings, but… she lied. And Michael lying to her was one of the reasons she was broke up with him, so… that’s a bit hypocritical Jane…

8) Rafael is being a bit too pushy for my liking…

RAFAEL: Have you had enough time? Ready to go on a date?

JANE: No. I came to ask a favor, actually, which is totally unrelated to our current situation.

RAFAEL: And what is our current situation?

The girl asked you for some time and space, and it’s been, what? 8 hours? Seriously?

9) OF COURSE, he’s going to be in the club and will continue to push things. That’s so not the way to go about this.

10) Now, these two? They really are meant for each other…

NARRATOR: What you are about to witness is two creatures who are inherently dramatic attempt to behave like they are - not dramatic.

11) Desperate times call for desperate measures…

MAGDA: We can't keep him here forever. We might have to consider…

PETRA: What?

MAGDA: I know people from the old country.They could take care of him for us.

PETRA: Mother, that's crazy!

MAGDA: It is realistic. Now, here are your options: You kill him or let him go, and risk Milos finding you and then you'll wish you were dead. Your choice.

I’m not sure Petra is capable of murdering someone. Magda, on the other hand…

12) AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13) Oh my god, is he twelve?!

JANE: Michael saw the flowers you sent, and he was so hurt it was awful.

RAFAEL: Jane, that wasn't my intention.

JANE: I know. But that's why I'm saying it's too soon.

RAFAEL: What, because of Michael?

JANE: Yes, because of Michael. We were engaged.I was I was about to marry him.

RAFAEL: I'm sorry. But, Jane, he's kind of been a jerk to me.

He’s acting like an entitled rich boy, isn’t he? He wants Jane so he must have her now, it doesn’t matter that she’s not completely comfortable and it doesn’t matter that she still cares about her ex-fiancé with whom she broke up a day ago! And how does he justify not caring about hurting Michael’s feelings or disregarding Jane’s feelings for Michael? “Ugh he was a jerk!”

I don’t like this side of Rafael, I hope he understands why this is wrong SOON.

14) OMG

JANE: Do you by any chance know my father?

15) And now he’s taking Jane’s request for time and space a little bit too seriously…

16) I LOVE ROGELIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

17) Get your shit together, dude…

Like, you want to date the girl who’s carrying your fucking baby, maybe don’t get salt licked by “a friend” right in front of her?

18) Well, it seems Petra has what it takes to be a murderer after all…

IVAN: Is that peanut sauce?

PETRA: I don't know. I just ordered chicken from room service.

IVAN: I have peanut allergy!

19) False alarm…

He even thanked her, that’s progress.

20) Hmmm, I’m not sold on how the show got Rafael to “refute” each single of Jane’s arguments. They simply have different points of views, and both of their arguments are valid. The most important one, however, is the fact that they clearly don’t know each other very well. It’s one thing to start dating someone who you don’t know very well under regular circumstances. That’s basically what we all do, that is literally how you get to know someone and find out whether you can have a meaningful relationship with them or not. But… Jane is fucking pregnant with Rafael’s baby… so the dating thing could potentially backfire in the worst possible way, and even if they intend to “put the baby first”, they cannot be sure that’s what they’ll do once their hearts are broken and there’s resentment or bad blood.

21) I guess I was wrong when I said Jane had a good head on her shoulders…

I’m sorry but I’m so not into this. It really feels like they’re in lust, and that’s just not my thing.

22) Rafael’s mom is totally going to come back, right?

23) Yeah, that whole “conversation that goes on forever”? I get it, I’ve had those. But it feels the writers are trying to fast-forward the most meaningful part of a relationship, the getting-to-know-each-other part, the slowly falling in love with someone as you learn more and more about them. It just happened overnight for Jane and Rafael.

I feel like I should like them, like I should be falling for them as they fall for each other, but it seems too… contrived. I’m not into it…

24) Oh, Petra, you deceitful SOB! You got me!

MAGDA: That was smart. Seeing his bracelet. You've earned his trust.

NARRATOR: Ah, yes, the classic "poison your hostage and then save him to earn his trusts" technique. Works every time.

MAGDA: I hope the rest of your plan works as smoothly.

What is the rest of her plan, though?

25) ROGELIO STOPPPPPPPPP

26) And now I feel sorry for Michael? What is this episode doing to me?

27) Oh, this trick again, Petra… it didn’t work with Rafael, though…

I’m guessing he’s going to sleep with her and not give her the money, to get back at her because of how she fooled him before…

28) rrrrrogELIOOOOOOOOOOOO

RAFAEL: Who are you?

ROGELIO: I am Jane's father.

RAFAEL: Oh, uh Oh, uh, it's nice to meet you, Sir.

ROGELIO: I wish I could say the same. Jane's mother was worried all night.

RAFALl: Oh, I am so sorry. We-we just kind of…

ROGELIO: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I know your game. I used to be just like you. Ridiculously good-looking, with charisma, with swagger, notching girls onto my belt.

RAFAEL: No, that's-that's not what's happening

ROGELIO: I have had sex with a lot of women. Way more than you, I'm sure!

RAFAEL: I am sure that that's true.

ROGELIO: But Jane is different. Jane is special. Remember that. Or face the consequences.

29) “Deferred payment plan.” Yep, you’re not going to see that money, Petra…

30) Nope. I don’t like this, at all.

XIOMARA: And you're not me, Jane. You make smart choices, sensible choices.

JANE: Exactly. Because I was always scared of repeating your mistakes. And, mom, I'm just realizing, because of that, I've been afraid to take risks. Real risks.

XIOMARA: You've been smart.

JANE: I've been safe. And I'm gonna be a mom. And moms put their kids first. You know that better than anyone. So this is my last chance I get to follow my heart. Do what I want. And, yeah, maybe the timing isn't perfect, but I want to be with Rafael. He's a good guy.

There’s nothing wrong with being safe, especially when you’re having a baby. And I really don’t get Jane’s logic here? “I’ve been safe my whole life and afraid of taking risks so now that I’m having a baby and will put it first is the best time to take risks”? Maybe don’t? Especially if you’re taking a chance with the father of your baby who you barely know and you could potentially ruin your relationship as parents and therefore create an unhealthy environment for your child just because you had a whim and you were hot for the guy?

I know that I’m probably in the minority here and everyone loves Rafael and Jane, but I’m just super NOT into this. It feels too sudden?

I just hope the show somehow manages to change my perception of them, idk.

31) If anything, Jane’s and Rafael’s recklessness has helped Xiomara and Rogelio become the grown-ups, so I’m thankful for that. They’re still over-dramatic and ridiculous, but they’ve proven they can adult like the best of them if the situation calls for it.

32) …well, for the most part…

33) I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

I ship this more than I ship Rafael and Jane hahaha!

34) Okay…

I’m totally indifferent to this. *shrugs*

35) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Jane the Virgin #Jane Villanueva #Gina Rodriguez #Rogelio de la Vega #Jaime Camil #JTV recap #JTV 1x07 #mine #MTVSwatches

14 notes · View notes

lareinesophie · 7 years

Text

HELLO darlings!! I had originally intended to get this blog on a good start by posting a sober, scholarly (and as yet unfinished) essay on the intricacies of Lady Lesso’s character, but then I got a much better idea, that is—

Repost this prompt with your own response: Write that one thing you really desperately wish will happen in the second SGE trilogy, but which in all likelihood won’t, and CHALLENGE: COME UP WITH THE CRAZIEST, MOST CREATIVE, MOST OUTLANDISH, MOST ABSOLUTELY MENTAL EXPLANATION as to how it just might be possible, even as it’s highly improbable.

Mine is that Lady Lesso is the character resurrected, because “who ever heard of a witch that really died? You can always get them back.” (Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Chapter XII). I’m not talking about a zombie!Lesso literally being brought back from the dead, tho I wouldn’t put it past Hester to sneak to Lady Lesso’s grave/probably-still-unburied coffin in the Garden for Good and Evil and attempt necromancy or whatever serious black magic that Rafal had performed to reanimate the Old villains. (Tbh Hester totally would bc she’s such a huge Lady Lesso fangirl; look at how she shamelessly appropriated Lady Lesso’s life advice to Sophie as her graduation quote in the Ev-Nev Handbook. I bet she reads The Tale of Sophie and Agatha again and again just for the bits in which Lady Lesso appears and cries heavy black mascara tears and spooks Anadil’s rats with this Overwhelming and Uncharacteristic Display of Sentiment.) But anyway, my pet wacko theory is: So we know that Lady Lesso had appointed Sophie her successor as Dean and gifted her her sharp-shouldered purple gown before tying Aric up & freeing Professor Dovey & all that, but what if she had also… *dramatic pause*… enchanted all the mirrors in the School for Good and Evil and saved fragments of her eternal soul in them (like with Horcruxes), not bc she was afraid that Aric would kill her, but rather she wanted to keep an eye on Dean Sophie and continue to guide her from beyond the grave!!

“[…]I’ll always see you as my student, Sophie. And when you lose your way, I’ll be there in the shadows, your Evil fairy godmother, pushing you towards your destiny like a wind behind a sail. Even when you lose sight of what that destiny is.” Sophie could see there was more Lady Lesso wanted to say, but she was holding back. Instead, they just gazed into each other’s eyes[…]”

The Last Ever After, Part ii Chapter 29. “Who’s Helping Who?”

Everyone knows about Sophie’s obsession with mirrors and that she spends all day preening in front of one, doing her make-up instead of her schoolwork. It’d make perfect sense to observe Sophie thru a mirror and it’s certainly the most effective method of spying on her. Also, although mirrors were more plentiful in the Good castle, they’re really an Evil artefact associated with vanity and with the greatest villains. For instance, the “Enchanted mirror belonging to Leandra of Frostplains (aka The Frost Queen)” is displayed in the Exhibition of Evil, and Little Snow-White’s Evil stepmother famously owned a rather opinionated talking mirror that basically mansplains her and makes her insecure about her body image, and in horror movies and the “Bloody Mary” urban legend the ghost always passes into the mortal realm through a mirror. Given her deep knowledge of fairytales and of everything Evil, Lady Lesso would have been very familiar with the magical properties of mirrors. Furthermore, having been a “sensational” witch back in the day (TLEA), she would have been well-versed in “the art of life-extension”. Indeed, being both Dean of Evil and Professor of Curses & Death-traps, she must have been until her death the most powerful and knowledgeable witch in the Woods; notice that she was revered even by Evers for her prowess in casting spells—the magical purple-tinged shield she cast in over the Schools for Boys and Girls could withstand the continuous onslaught of the entire prince population in the Woods. A life-preservation spell involving soul fragmentation & a mirror is likely child’s play for her.

[..]the two boys watched more feral princes climb through the hole in the broken shield. “You must be quite the magician to crack it,” said Tedros finally. “Lady Lesso cast that shield herself.” Aric didn’t reply.

A World without Princes, Part II Chapter 13. “The Supper Hall Book Club”

In short, Lady Lesso could and would cast a spell preserving part of her consciousness within a mirror/several mirrors; she had both the means and motivation for doing so. But — and things get even more FANTASTIC from here on — a tiny caveat: Remember that mirrors are more plentiful in the Good castle? In fact, practically all the mirrors in the School for Good and Evil are found exclusively in the Good castle; in Book 1 Sophie had complained about not being able to find a single mirror in the Evil school and had resorted to improvising one in her dorm by flooding the floor, and when she did get a proper mirror it was the one Agatha had removed from her dorm in the Good school. Professor Manley’s Uglification classroom did have “desks with rusty mirrors”, but you’d bet Dean Sophie had those thrown out in one of her first acts as Dean and replaced them with very classy and very expensive antique mirrored stations ordered from Putzi, much like those in Professor Anemone’s Beautification classroom (AWWP), Manley’s protests notwithstanding. (“BUT THEY’RE PRICELESS ANTIQUES!” “SO ARE MINE! AND MINE ARE ACTUALLY CLEAN AND FREE OF TRACES OF TADPOLE GUTS!”). And there’s the Ice Queen’s Enchanted Mirror in the Exhibition of Evil, which Lady Lesso did not touch due to it being a priceless artefact from Evil’s glory days and a token of Evil’s greatest triumphs (and for sentimental reasons too — The Frost Queen was her “favourite tale of all”), and which in any case was still languishing under a thick layer of dust in the tiny broom closet that housed the Exhibition, because Dean Sophie had evidently not seen fit to move the Old Evil relics to more dignified settings. Or rather, there simple was no room for them in the new museum (the ‘Temple de la Gloire de Sophie’) that housed all the items from her fairytale, and seeing that she was the only Never to win a fairytale in centuries, there wasn’t any point in making room for the remains of losers; it might demoralise new Nevers to see that their greatest heroes were this rotting vine of thorns (Vera of Woods Beyond) and a bunch of dead stuffed animals. And lastly, there’s probably a mirror in the private living quarters of the Dean’s office, given that Lady Lesso admitted she had “a vanity that is rare among Nevers”, but Sophie had taken up residence in the School Master’s Tower and set about renovating it into a five-star hotel, and decorated it not with massive jewelled mirrors from the Good School but with the finest silver-backed floor-to-ceiling mirrors ordered directly from the Putsi Metal Shop, the same company that supplied the chair-and-mirror stations for the new Evil Groom Room.

Sooooo mirror!Lady Lesso has had absolutely no opportunity to catch up on Dean Sophie’s doings and gleaned zero intelligence on what’s going on in the Evil School, and worse, is subject to a constant, unending barrage of vain, vapid Evers preening in front of the mirrors every spare moment. And she’s regretting her life decisions terribly and at first she vents by haunting the Evers but then feels bad bc the frightened Evers go crying to Professor Dovey who has to comfort them lest she receive angry letters from their haughty royal parents inquiring about “a POLTERGEIST in the GOOD SCHOOL?! WHAT HAS THIS SCHOOL COME TO? FIRST YOU LOSE EVERY COMPETITION, THEN YOU STOPPED HOSTING SNOW BALLS ETC. ETC.” and these missives are often laced with threats to sue the school for criminal incompetence.

BUT THEN Dean Sophie decides she wants to throw an Evil Snow Ball for Christmas, with the exact same winter wonderland aesthetic as that of previous Snow Balls, but as she invited the whole School and not just the Nevers, she needs more entertainment venues to ensure there’s room for everyone and that everyone has a good time, so the dungeon is converted into a carnival of wintry amusements, AND SHE TURNS LADY LESSO’S ICE CHAMBER CLASSROOM INTO AN ICE-SKATING RINK. Aaaand for final touches, as the dungeon walls are a little bare and gloomy for such a joyous occasion, Sophie convinces the Evers to loan those massive jewelled mirrors in the Good castle to Evil for a night, so as to pretty up the place and brighten the rooms by reflecting the dancing fairylights. And the Evers carry a whole lotta mirrors, practically every mirror in school, into the Evil castle, and Lady Lesso, who’s trapped within these mirrors, sees what Sophie has done to the Evil castle and FLIPS OUT, LIKE, WHY ARE THERE EVERS IN THE EVIL CASTLE!!??? IN HER CLASSROOM??! SOPHIE HAD DONE WHAT TO HER CLASSROOM?? AND WHY WAS EVERYONE GLIDING ON…KNIFE BLADES?? HOW TRIGGERING ESPECIALLY SINCE SHE HAD BEEN STABBED TO DEATH WITH ONE OF THOSE THINGS… Then Sophie pirouettes in and stops before a particularly handsome mirror (and mirror!Lesso) to admire her cute little ice-skating outfit and matching silver skates, her long golden locks swept elegantly upward and pulled into a tight dancer’s bun, and intoxicated by her own appearance, she leans in so close that her face is barely an inch away from the mirror and her eyelashes graze the mirror’s surface in a butterfly kiss, and she croons dreamily “Mirror, Mirror, on the wall,/ Who’s the fairest of them all?” And she opens her eyes to find…Lady Lesso glaring back at her, face literally white as snow (and thus fitting in perfectly with the ice decor) bc of how angry and horrified she is at what Sophie has done. Now, Lady Lesso had never shivered in her frozen classroom, but then and there during the Evil Snow Ball, she trembled uncontrollably with rage.

#i promise my actual essay is better than this trashfic #lady lesso #sophie of woods beyond #lareinesophie original #sge theories

21 notes · View notes

bluetapes · 6 years

Audio

New interview with Trupa Trupa on at The Quietus!

It’s been something of a long slog for me this week – a new job, packing up and moving out of the one-bed rising-damp-and-arsehole-neighbours flat I lived in in South London for four years and moving into a new place in the dark heart of Nottinghamshire, all with a mewling three month old girl in tow. This isn’t me complaining – it’s all context. Because when I finally get hold of Grzegorz Kwiatkowski, member of Polish post-punk-no-wave-psych-rock malcontents Trupa Trupa, I am heavily laid down with mucus and medication, rundown and broken. We have been trying to get our planets to align for a couple weeks. I expect frustration, anger, disdain, contempt. Instead, I get gracious civility. “This is the most important year of your life, no? So you need to take your time to make sure your baby grows up to be the best she can be.”

A tenuous analogy here (and one I’m sure my daughter won’t especially enjoy when she gets older) but Kwiatkowski and the other members of Trupa Trupa - Tomek Pawluczuk (drums), Wojtek Juchniewicz (voc, guitar) and Rafał Wojczal (keys, guitar) - must feel the same. The four-piece have spent five years crafting an aesthetic that spans genres and eras, from Sonic Nurse-era Sonic Youth to an electrified and frothing Pere Ubu, an esoteric Slint or a Lynchian take on Siouxsie & The Banshees, which culminated in the critically acclaimed second album Headache in 2015.

That album, pushed out into the world by the normally avant garde/ electronic/ noise/ ambient trail-blazers Blue Tapes, was an immediate slice of melted influence and frayed synapses, traipsing manically from 60s rock deconstructions to post-punk pealings and no-wave wrecking balls, all tied together with intelligence and brio. It was a truly breathtaking album as notable for its breaths as for its blusters, and the world (well, the chosen few) held its collective breath to see what would be borne forth next.

Yet as any creative tends to look at their work as something of a birth and Jolly New Songs (also through Blue Tapes) has been gestating for quite some time, almost two years, the excitement and anxiety and relief that comes with such labours of love lie heavy on Kwiatkowski as its birthday looms – October 27.

Grzegorz Kwiatkowski: We liked Headache and we still like Headache, so we are not so arrogant or self-assured enough to believe that anything that came afterwards would live up to it. There was so much positive feedback for Headache, so it was a joyful time for us. That said we were very tired because there was so much that came along surrounding that nice feedback, a lot more than we ever expected, and it was great but it really took it out of us. We started to write new songs, then one year exactly after the premiere of Headache we said to each other, “Are we ready for another baby? Another Headache?” We respect the Headache baby but we felt it was too exploited in a way. So this time we tested this new album on many people first, on our friends and journalists, people at festivals, as because it is part of us it is difficult to see if we were making Headache part two. We see us as evolutionary, not revolutionary. We didn’t want to change outright – but we wanted to step forward, evolve.

Jolly New Songs could take on many different meanings as a title. The phrase itself could be seen as jocular, even pantomime-esque, certainly here in the UK anyway, and yet it’s something of a misnomer as many of the tracks on here aren’t joyful at all. How then do you think that phrase encapsulates what’s happening on the album?

GK: In the past we have always had problems giving names to our albums, mainly because we find that things could mean different things to each of us. So we refused to name them – our first EP is called EP, our first album is just called LP. Our second album was called ++ or Cross Crossbecause it was the (image on the) cover. When Headache arrived we couldn’t see how we couldn’t give it a name, so came up with a new challenge – whatever we all thought was the best track would become the name of the album. So with Jolly New Songs it wasn’t anything intentional. On the other hand we often have done things unconsciously without considering the step, so it has transformed into something else. Not only is it paradoxical – it isn’t jolly at all, but sad – but it is somewhat lighter an album that Headache is, as those songs carried a lot of darkness.

Can you elaborate on the darkness of the songs? Is it in the composition, the rhythm…

GK: Some of the songs we see as march songs. ‘Never Forget’ obviously. ‘Jolly New Song’ also. There is this movement we really like, Franz Schubert’s Lieder Winterreise (Winter Journey), very short German songs, and I thought aspects of the songs on the album have this aspect of fighting, yet in the same way full of energy and full of joy.

There is a clear disparity between the albums on the first listen; with Headache there was this restless sense of urgency, something that has somewhat been laid aside on Jolly New Songs. Yet nothing is truly joyous or indeed clear-cut on the new album, which undercuts any sense of immediacy. Headache really hits you sonically, a kinetic blast, while this one is far more insidious that gets under the skin. Was that part of that evolutionary process, to take what was successful with Headache and juxtapose it with more subtle, dissimilar methods? It is imbued with unease, therefore making it difficult to describe the journey it takes you on.

GK: While we were testing this new material on everyone – friends, family, musicians, journalists, owners of labels – it isn’t common that 95% of the feedback is the same, yet with Jolly New Songseveryone says that there wasn’t the aggression that was in the last one, that you needed to listen two, three times, maybe even four times, to truly get it. But not because it was hard to understand but because there is an atmosphere built into the songs that is hard to describe, and it lingers. Conclusions change about the album the more it is listened to. But strangely we as members faced the same problem. In the past making a track listing has been really easy, it falls into place. With this, every member envisioned the track listing in a different way. The songs lend themselves to interpretation far more than Headache does or even could. There is this book by Julio Cortazar, an Argentinean writer who lived in France, where you could read it in any order you want (Hopscotch) . So to settle it for the album, we chose the track listing in alphabetical order. So the listener can see that. But really our producer (Michał Kupicz) sent us the masters in alphabetical order and that spoke to us in another way, to choose the order as accident. A very strange compromise but we were satisfied. This shows that it is a strange album, and we respect it, but of course are really open to other voices (to interpret it).

Some of the songs feel quite nebulous; not that they are half-formed, more like a spectre or ghost, haunting the listener. Songs seem to be getting going, building, exploding, and then they are gone again. Yet the next song starts and the whisper of the last doesn’t leave you, your mind is still processing what has happened beforehand.

GK: I think that most things that happen in the band come through accidents. We promise ourselves never to be bored at rehearsals and to be satisfied with that. I think we are testing many things all of the time, so nothing becomes fixed in place, we are always shifting. There are four members of Trupa Trupa but it is really rare in the band that there is a fully democratic idea from the band. For us we see ourselves something like Fugazi, where every member is a composer, every member has a distinct voice, every member is author and owner of their lyrics. Every member has particular tastes and listens to different kinds of music. For me, the most important music is the classical style of music you know, Glenn Gould, as well as the Beatles and the Velvet Underground. For Wotjek who also is singing it is the Swans, Fugazi, Sonic Youth, more the New York avant garde scene. Rafal (guitar) is more a fan of Elliott Smith… So when we meet each other, we never have time to make one proper vision, so we are carrying these backgrounds with us. Maybe that is why what we are catching is very strange. We can come together with a song but it is just the body, like architecture, like sketches. We build from the musical blocks that we have.

It is such a diverse melting pot musically, but you are also well steeped in things literary seeing as you are a recognised and published poet. In the press notes it’s stated that Walt Whitman was an influence on the last song on the album, ‘To Me’. Were there other literary or political influences that helped with the building of these songs from architectural sketches to Jolly New Songs?

GK: There are many paths taken, and can be taken, through the lyrics of this record. They come often from very dark and very pessimistic situations, and the people of Gdansk where we are from. It is in the north of Poland by the sea and is best known because the Second World War started here. On the other hand the solidarity that came about for the people of Gdansk informs it as well. On the other hand one of the world’s greatest pessimists in Arthur Schopenhauer was born here. These are all influences without even thinking about them. And for many years, centuries, Gdansk was not part of Poland but more of a free city, a port, with these shipyards, a gateway to the world, something like Hamburg or Liverpool. So Gdansk has always had a history of spreading new ideas. But there are many other influences on this album, most of which take things at a dark angle. ‘Never Forget’ – there are not many songs about the Holocaust and Shoah. My grandfather was a prisoner in a concentration camp not far from Gdansk, and many Polish people were in or have direct relationships with people who were in concentration camps. Poland is the site of the world’s biggest genocide. On the other hand my grandfather was also a German soldier in Wehrmacht, so there are very complicated histories here and they leave impressions on us, they mark us. But again, these are just songs. I would like people just as much to treat the songs just as songs. I don’t like to talk at length about famous artists or events in history because it may inform me and what I do but it may make a song into a situation that can only come at in a particular way or with a particular idea in mind.

Even if you divorce the songs from these totemic influences, the sonic palette you have created is not so discerning that anyone will be led down the same aural path. The genre staples – post punk, psych rock, noise rock, the avant-garde, the influences you have mentioned already – can lead to very different interpretations. Christian Eede, from tQ, reviewed ‘To Me’ and described it as “triumphant”, and the presser from Blue Tapes & X-Ray Records describes elements as “anthemic” – and outside the slipstream of the album perhaps it is. But for me the album subverts those mainstream signifiers to the point where ‘To Me’ comes across more as a sly counterpoint to what we would expect crossover songs to be…

GK: See, it is what you want it to be (laughs). The word anthemic – what does it mean? To me I don’t – is it religious? A national anthem? ‘To Me’ could be powerful, and I don’t want to say it isn’t, but to me it isn’t. Others have compared us to psychedelic music and no-wave, or mentioned bands like Swans, Shellac, Slint, Beak>… Nothing we do is conventional, like a rock song structure, which is what I think of as anthemic. But then what do I know?

You write the songs!

GK: It’s not what I think, I think we are a deconstructive rock situation. But people hear what they hear.

Very pragmatic of you! Well let me tell you how I listened to this album. You sent me a couple different versions of Jolly New Songs quite a few months ago now, so I have listened to it often. So the final listing has been somewhat disorienting to me, because after the dark journey that you take me on, ending with ‘To Me’ – I can’t work out if it’s a tip of the hat to hope, or if it’s more of a brainwashed downer denouement, something Orwell or Bradbury or Levin would concoct, like Rosemary’s Baby (which incidentally I watched on mute while listening to this album a couple months ago), where such a landscape of murkiness and uncertainty breaks you down in a sort of “if you can’t beat them, join them” kinda way. I can’t shake the unnerving feeling that, in the context of the album, having these moments of pop lightness only serves to subvert notions of hope, a sucker punch ending to a dystopian story where the protagonist hasn’t broken free at all but is very much a cog in the machine. Now I may be in a totally unique position in how the album makes me feel, but that unsettling nature makes me return the needle to the beginning. That sort of grotesque emotion and the Self, it’s unnerving yet utterly transfixing.

GK: Yes! To be truthful I have been pushing for such a hypothetical outlook (in the music) because ‘To Me’ becomes a sly wink, a slap to the audience to wake up, you’re wrong, there is something else going on here. Michael Haneke, a great Austrian film director, for me the album is positioned in this downward position so that the ending comes out like a Haneke film. It could be seen as one thing, but hopefully it can be seen as a perverse version of something more conventional. You mention Rosemary’s Baby and to me this is very much a movie album. ‘Love Supreme’ for example is very much similar to Roman Polanski, offering sound for a creepy horror movie. It’s cinematic in a very graphic sort of way.

I have been really floored by this album, but it is one that has crept up on me, like the best paranoid slowburn horrors of Haneke, Polanski and even Ti West of recent times, a subliminal listen. It feels like a slanted way to appreciate an album…

GK: As band members we had really similar reactions to how the music was coming about. We were coming up with ‘Only Good Weather’ and we looked at each other and said, “What the fuck? What are we singing, what are we playing? It’s stupid!” But we felt there was something to it, so we kept it. And then we came up to the second part of the song, the disaster part, and we were even surer that there was something to this, even if we didn’t know what ‘this’ was. Which made us happy because it isn’t easy to make not obvious guitar based psychedelic music anymore. What we have ended up with on Jolly New Songs are songs that are kinda traditional, but on the other hand are soundtrack songs, on the other hand they are like ‘Never Forget’ with this strong story about a death camp, on the other hand they are ghost songs for a kitschy horror film. I know I shouldn’t be so positive about the songs because I cannot be objective, but I can say we liked it but we were really interested in what everyone else’s reactions would be, in the way the songs kinda freaked us out also.

#trupa trupa

2 notes · View notes