How to Disappear Completely
Pairings: Timothée Chalamet x Reader
Summary: Timothées PR stunt gets released earlier than he was told. You disappear completely and he loses his mind.
Warnings: angst, reckless driving, suicidal ideation mentioned, alcohol,
Word Count: 3,345
Authors Note: title and lyrics from Radiohead (my fave) sorry this took forever my life is a sh*t show rn. I’m a busy b*tch. Love y’all
masterlist
That there, that’s not me
I go where I please
Images of the two of them flooded your brain as you flew down the street to your best friends house. Timothée and HER. Sat far too close for anything about it to be even deemed friendly. Images of him laughing at something she said. You were certain right then that you never wanted to hear that laugh ever again. The sound used to make you whole but now it just sounded like nails on a chalkboard, scraping against the inside of your mind. Your heart was pounding hard against your ribcage, the only thing that was louder was your labored breathing. The volume dialed to zero. Your eyes glued to the road, a twenty minute drive started to feel like at least an hour. “Images shot of Timothée Chalamet and ex girlfriend Lily Rose-Depp sharing a cup of coffee this sunny morning in Los Angeles. Could this mean they’re making a comeback?” You had read out loud, eyebrows furrowed together, voice barely a whisper.
The saddest part was that you didn’t even cry. The blank expression on your face could only be read as shock or disbelief. Complete disconnection. You had left your phone where you sat, never once checking to look at it as you packed a bag with as much of your things as possible. Your vision had been blurry, grabbing for anything you could.
Blackout. You couldn’t remember pulling into their driveway but there you sat. Face staring blankly forward, unable to move yourself in any direction. Your friend peered out of the window, clutching curtains before they rushed out of the house and to your door. No words were said as you turned to face them, their face was full of pity that you didn’t want. They had seen the articles too, so when you pulled up they were ready. You didn’t want to talk and they sensed that, opting to reach for you silently as you slumped into their chest, legs moving slow to step out of the car. Almost as if your legs were made of marble. Marble from a statue now, a living shell. No thoughts, just Timothée and his hands intertwined with hers at a cute coffee shop that he had never brought YOU to. The two of you walked inside silently.
I walk through walls, I float
down the Liffey
You drifted through the hall, nothing but muscle memory guiding you as you made your way to the bathroom. Nervous for you, your best friend followed you. You didn’t mind and they knew that. No words were exchanged but they knew what to do. Your feet were cemented to the floor in front of the tub now. They turned on the water to run you a bath. While you waited for the stream to fill the tub that you just wanted to submerge into for the rest of time. Your escort wouldn’t let you. So they slipped off your shirt for you, tossing it to the side before helping to get out of your jeans, which fell to the hardwood with a near deafening sound echoing around the thick silence.
“I’m so sorry.” They had said quietly and out loud, but you didn’t hear a thing. You just stepped forward into the tub, water warming the soles of your feet as your hand did the opposite, squeezing tightly against your friends hand. The two of you sat side by side, separated by the tub, heads pressed against each other. Only one of you wanted to be floating down the Liffey.
I’m not here
This isn’t happening
Timothée was having the opposite of your day. A good one. A great one, even. The new PR stunt was supposed to do wonders for his career and the sun was shining. However, he was sure this was his least convincing acting moment, or so he had thought. It was an extremely difficult task to pretend to be interested in anything Lily had to say. He had just finished up a post shoot meeting with his publicist and he had just stopped at a flower stand. He saw it, thought of you and had to stop, picking up a bundle of red roses for you.He drove with the windows down, a kid cudi song blaring through the speakers. Not a care in the world, except the plans he was making in his head for tonight, with you. It was a stark comparison. One that would haunt him for years.
He stepped into the apartment that the two of you shared and called out for you, frown splaying across his face when he was faced with silence. The lights were still on and the window was propped open. The scene before him didn’t look like a good one. You wouldn’t normally leave the lights on let alone the window. His mind immediately thought the worst. What if someone had taken you? Did someone break in? What was going on? You hadn’t gotten ahold of him in a while. A million terrible scenarios flooded all of his senses as he rushed through the space, opening every door. He called out for you desperately now, frantic.
He decided to call you, heart in his throat as he pressed the call button and pressed it to his ear. The loud ring from right next to him made him jump and he lunged forward for it to switch off the volume. What the fuck, he thought out loud. Urgency jolting his body as he scrambled for his keys and he rushed out the door. He ran full speed down the hallway, avoiding the elevator and opting for the stairs. His legs made long and fast strides, skipping steps and nearly falling. His arms caught him before he tumbled down the stairs, feeling bile rise up in his throat. Where could you be? You would never just disappear completely. Not without telling him. He continued on down the stairs, making it down the seven flights without an incident. His chest fell up and down rapidly and only when he reached his car and clambered inside did he calm down somewhat. He no longer felt like he was going to collapse and he sped out of the parking garage and down the street. He spent hours driving around town to places you might be. He cried the entire time. A pitiful sight to see.
In a little while
I’ll be gone
The moments already passed.
By now you were crying too. After the initial shock of the situation and it all hit you, you became a sobbing mess in the tub. Nearly uncontrollable but your friend was able to help you out and into a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, your skin nearly wrinkled. You trudged to their bed with them and curled up into a ball underneath the warmth of the duvet. They simply sat up beside you and rubbed your back in slow circles as you sobbed into the pillow, dampening the pillowcase. You thought about Timothée and HER, tangled up together. You thought about him whispering sweet nothings to her and you felt sick to your stomach. You shot up suddenly to face the only person you were sure really cared about you and proclaimed through tears “I need something to drink. I can’t think anymore, please!” Your tone was so hopeless and desperate and they thought that their heart would break hearing it.
So heartbreaking that they nodded their head, speaking up quietly “I won’t let you drink yourself to death, but maybe a shot or three of gin would do you well, yeah?” They had thought about it a while before answering and when you nodded your head rapidly they were off, grabbing two shot glasses, and a bottle of Hendricks. For this situation, a top shelf liquor was needed. Something nice for something so horrible.
“You’re the best.” You stated as they crawled back in next to you, hand extending a shot glass to you. “You’re the only one I have her-“
They cut you off before you could continue, sensing an oncoming spiral of self pity “You’re loved by so many people, don’t start.” You were grateful for the bluntness and you lifted the shot glass to receive some relief. They poured it up all the way to the brim before doing the same for their glass. “He was a piece of shit for that, and you deserve better.” It was the first mention of him. At least out loud. You wanted to throw up. You wanted to scream. You wanted to break things. You wanted to freak out. But you didn’t. You stayed quiet. It was nice to have someone to keep you from going off the rails. Maybe quite literally.
“Less words, more shots. Please.” You smiled for the first time that day since he left in the morning. It felt nice. Relieving. But only for a mere moment. “Now.” You raised your glass and without waiting for the cheers you downed the shot. A cringe ran through your body for only a second before you raised your glass and whined, silently pleading for more. They obliged and you once again drank it without hesitation.
Yeah it’s gone
And I’m not here
Another two hours had passed and Timothée was losing his mind. He was nearly at his breaking point. He was sat at the top of a lookout on the hood of his car, a great view of the city, sun almost setting completely. Not that any of that matter to him at this point. He knew it was a long shot but he needed a smoke and this was the perfect place, he could keep an eye out and try to calm down. If he didn’t calm down he was sure he would’ve wrecked his vehicle. He looked every place he could think of. Taking time to pass by the apartment, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you had just forgot your phone and were in a hurry. He was sick with worry and wanted a drink, maybe some weed, but felt it would be distracting. So there he stood, eyes frantically scanning the city, cigarette pressed between his wet lips. His phone was in his hand, dialing the emergency line.
He waited for what felt like an eternity as it rang and he sighed miserably. When the line stopped its trilling he spoke before the operator could. “Please help, I have a missing person, please.” His voice was trembling now “my girlfriend is missing,” he stopped himself before he could continue “my WIFE is missing.” He thought maybe they would take him more seriously if they thought you were married. He felt ridiculous and needy and flustered saying it. He really wanted you to be his wife. The thought of you somewhere far away, never to be seen again made him delirious. He could hardly think straight. The thought of someone hurting you, violating you. His muscles tightened.
“Okay, okay. Deep breaths, how long has she been gone?” He asked calmly, almost with an annoyance in his voice. Maybe not annoyed, perhaps jaded more than anything else.
“Fuck!” He nearly yelled but he was too frantic to even sound sure of himself “I don’t know, maybe ten hours?”
“Hm,” he hummed softly “have you tried to get ahold of her? Looked for her? Talked to anyone close to her?” The nonchalant tone made Timothée want to scream at him. Scream until he couldn’t anymore. But he didn’t. He was thankful for a split second because he had gotten an idea from him. Inadvertently. Without a goodbye, he abandoned the call and got back into his car.
Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
He figured you would be here. He cursed himself for being an idiot. He was looking for a place, not a person you would be with. Why didn’t he think to call your friend? He wanted to cry but he held back. Your car was there so you were safe. That’s what mattered the most.
He knocked at the door. Quietly at first but then eventually his fist gained some inertia and his actions were more assertive. Tears pricked in the corner of his eyes and he called out to you loudly. Over and over.
To his disdain, you weren’t the person to answer the distressed pleas. He was greeted by your friend, and not pleasantly at that. They stepped out before he could enter and shut the door harshly. They glared at him and he didn’t know what to think.
“You fucking asshole, what are you doing here?” The tone was threatening and he didn’t know why. He felt like a puppy in trouble, tail between his legs.
“What do you mean what am I doing?!” His voice was loud and tears were again rolling down his already red and swollen cheeks. “Where is she? Is she okay? What’s going on? She wasnt home, she left her phone I dont kn-“ his voice was cut off of by your friend. Apparently this was habit for them at this point.
“She’s fine.” They pinched the bridge of their nose, exasperated and exhausted. “You’ve caused quite the mess that I’ve had to pick up. She’s sleeping now and she needs to. She’s had a bit to drink. You’ve got some explaining to do, seems like.” The look shot at him was cold and annoyed. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and followed them into the living room.
You had indeed had too much to drink and you laid in bed, sleeping not-so-soundly. Your stomach churned and your heart hurt. In the time that he was looking for you, you had managed to convince your friend to keep drinking. They just felt so bad and couldn’t refuse you, not wanting to break your heart further. They couldn’t think of another cure for your melancholy. The only thing they could do was make you something to eat and entertain you. Ultimately leaving you to rest, taking special care to make sure you were laid on your side.
I’m not here
I’m not here
By the time you woke, Timothée had enough time to explain himself and get on the good graces of your friend. Now they sat in silence, his head buried in his hands. He took a shot of his own, just one, to calm his nerves.
He was the first to split the awkward silence, “do you think I could go see her? I’ll try my best not to wake her. Please.” His voice was pained and sounded like he was about to break down again any second. He felt like he was at the mercy of everyone but himself, after everything you had been through today.
There was no answer. You stood in the doorway, peering at him with forlorn eyes. Your friend gave you a nod, almost as a confirmation. The okay signal. Timothée noticed this and turned his head so quickly he nearly gave himself whiplash. It was dark inside the house and out. But you could still see his puffy cheeks, the ghost of tears streaking his cheeks. He quickly rose to his feet and opened his arms for you, eyes pleading you silently. You just stared at him.
You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know what to say. You just stood there. Too exhausted to yell, too exhausted to cry. The well of tears inside of you was dry. Replaced only by liquor. Liquor that sloshed uncomfortably in your stomach. You whimpered at the wave of discomfort that ran through you and he was immediately on his feet, ready to be there if you needed him. “I don’t feel so good. I was going to take a shower, but I heard you..” you shifted on your feet uncomfortably, knuckles gripping a plush towel around yourself. You had heard almost everything but didn’t have the energy to say anything about it. You were too drunk and queasy.
Before you knew it he was guiding you down the hall and you were stumbling on your own two legs. His arm was suddenly on your back and he was scooping you up into his arms. You relaxed in his arms, face burying into his neck. You whimpered quietly. This time, not from the pain, but because you had missed him. It had been a long and terrible day. “I’m sorry.” He whispered against your head, lips pressing kiss after kiss against the top of your head. “I love you.” He carried you into the bathroom where you just stared at him wide eyed and silent. Timothée started the shower, wanting to fulfill your wish and help you feel better. He figured he had done enough to hurt you today.
He had a planned PR stunt. It was arranged by his team and hers. He never once had to confer with her. The images were a stunt and someone had leaked them as clickbait. Even if it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t help but feel responsible. Maybe he shouldn’t have said yes to it. But for him, it was a great career opportunity, and it felt good to gush about you to someone who was a far distant part of his life. There wasn’t a single bone in his body that cared about her anymore, and you knew that. After hearing his side of the story.
Timothée folded your towel when it dropped to the floor and followed after you into the shower. He helped guide you to the shower floor as you started to sink down to your knees. The liquor helped you not notice the pain of the hard surface. He sat behind you as you fell into his chest, coming undone immediately. “I’m so sorry.” He repeated again, not expecting a response. He held your trembling body against him, his fingers tangling in your soaked hair.
“I really thought you had abandoned me for her,” you heaved gently against his skin, tears almost invisible against the shower water that was pounding against your skin. “Oh god that was so terrible. I really thought you chose her.”
“I would never chose her over you. Not in a million years, not in any lifetime.” His own heart broke for the first time that evening as he listened to you, fingertips ghosting against your side, attempting to sooth you. “I thought you had gotten kidnapped, I thought someone had snatched you up, baby. You scared me so bad.” His eyes were now squeezed shut and he rubbed his cheek against the top of your head. “I thought I lost you forever.”
You didn’t answer, a quiet belch rising up your throat. You felt better but still nauseas. He continued, cupping your face now in his hands. “You are,” Timothée started, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose, “the best thing to ever fucking happen to me. You’re the only one I want. If I hadn’t found you tonight, I would have searched for the rest of my life for you. I would have never ever recovered.” You knew he was being honest and you leaned into his touch.
“I love you,” you murmured, body now leaning against him, resting against his chest, head tucked into his neck “I’m sorry for scaring you.”
“Don’t mention it, mon amour.” He leaned back in the tub, moving to lay against the edge, allowing the water to fall on your hurting stomach. “You never have to apologize to me.”
You stayed silent and your eyes fluttered closed, the warm water helping you to forget about the sick feeling.
“I’m so sorry about all of this, I really am.” He whispered against your hair, arms wrapping around your shoulders. “I love you so much, you never have to worry about me wanting anyone else. You’re it. You’re the one.”
He wasn’t sure if you would remember that in the morning, but he didn’t care. He wanted to spend the rest of his life reminding you of that.
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Hi,
I make period drama style gifs for free. If you use gif packs, please like and reblog them. Most of my projects are already ready, but every day I post no more than 190 gifs. Because that was the reason why my previous account was blocked.
I tried to make gif packs in a format more familiar to you with a link to a separate page. However, unfortunately, I did not succeed because of the large format of high-quality gifs.
I want to explain about color processing. Usually, I improve the contrast, brightness and saturation, but leave the naturalness of the film. I don't make the contours too sharp because I like the aesthetic of it looking like a natural image.
Actors in alphabetical order: part 1(A-D), part 2, part 3
Navigation
The arrangement of names may not be alphabetical
▶Page 1
Anne Hathaway
Anya Taylor-Joy
Asia Argento
Astrid Berges-Frisbey
Boran Kuzum
Camille Rutherford
▶Page 2
Carla Juri
César Domboy
Cate Blanchett
Charity Wakefield
Charlie Rowe
Chiara Mastroianni
Christian Bale
Christoph Waltz
Ethan Erickson
▶Page 3
Dagmara Dominczyk
Dan Stevens
Ella Purnell
Emily Blunt
Ezra Miller
Raffey Cassidy
Rebecca Emilie Sattrup
Rose Byrne
Roxane Duran
▶Page 4
Frances O'Connor
Gemma Arterton
Hannah Taylor-Gordon
Hattie Morahan
Hugh Dancy
Isabelle Adjani
▶Page 5
Izzy Meikle-Small
James Norton
Jane Birkin
Joanne Whalley
Lucy Boynton
Léa Seydoux
Monica Keena
Nicolas Duvauchelle
Sally Hawkins
▶Page 6
Adriana Tarábková
Dakota Fanning
Gaia Weiss
Kirsten Dunst
Pia Degermark
Roxane Mesquida
Rosamund Pike
Samantha Gates
Sophia Myles
▶Page 7
Annabelle Wallis
Carey Mulligan
Guy Pearce
James Frain
Olivia Cooke
Rachel Hurd-Wood
Soko
Sujaya Dasgupta
Tom Cruise
▶Page 8
Adèle Exarchopoulos
Anna Maxwell Martin
Charles Dance
Emma Williams
Gillian Anderson
Natalie Press
▶Page 9
María Valverde
Paz Vega
Frédéric Noaille
Catherine Mouchet
Déborah François
Joséphine Japy
▶Page 10
Ben Whishaw
Clémence Poésy
Elliot Grihault
Emilia Fox
Joseph Morgan
Lambert Wilson
Michelle Dockery
Phoebe Fox
Sophie Okonedo
Tom Hiddleston
Tom Hughes
Tom Sturridge
▶Page 11
Charlotte Gainsbourg
Felicity Jones
Fu'ad Aït Aattou
Greta Scacchi
Helena Bonham Carter
Holliday Grainger
Michelle Pfeiffer
Rupert Friend
Christina Giannelli
▶Page 12
Danylo Kolomiiets
Katie McGrath
Keeley Hawes
Maria Bonnevie
Marta Gastini
Miriam Giovanelli
Olivia Hussey
Oscar Isaac
Peter Plaugborg
▶Page 13
Ben Barnes
Ben Chaplin
Bill Skarsgård
Iben Akerlie
Jakob Oftebro
Jo Woodcock
Lily-Rose Depp
Reese Witherspoon
Ruth Wilson
Samantha Soule
Tess Frazer
Virginie Ledoyen
▶Page 14
Cary Elwes
Colin Firth
Daniel Day-Lewis
Emilia Verginelli
Hannah James
Jonah Hauer-King
Loli Bahia
Lorenzo Balducci
Rebecca Hall
Robin Wright
Rupert Everett
Willa Fitzgerald
▶Page 15
Annes Elwy
Claire Danes
Eliza Scanlen
Kathryn Newton
Maya Hawke
Romola Garai
Samantha Mathis
Trini Alvarado
Winona Ryder
▶Page 16
Douglas Smith
Eric Bana
Gizem Karaca
Jessica Brown Findlay
Kenneth Branagh
Millie Brady
Natalie Dormer
Poppy Delevingne
Rachel Weisz
Rosy McEwen
Sam Claflin
▶Page 17
Aubri Ibrag
Christina Hendricks
Connie Jenkins-Greig
Guy Remmers
Henry Cavill
Imogen Waterhouse
Josie Totah
Mia Threapleton
Olivia Hallinan
▶Page 18
Fahriye Evcen
Jim Caviezel
Justine Waddell
Penelope Cruz
▶Page 19
Emma Stone
Francesca Annis
Jasmine Blackborow
Louis Cunningham
Mélanie Thierry
▶Page 20
To do list:
Léa Seydoux - under development (Roses à crédit 2010, Belle Épine 2010, Mistérios de Lisboa 2010, The Beast 2023, Dune: Part Two)
Kelly Macdonald - under development (Elizabeth1998, Nanny McPhee 2005, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 2011, Boardwalk Empire)
Emily Mortimer - under development (Elizabeth1998, The Glass Virgin 1995, Leonie 2010)
All of these gifs were made from scratch by me for roleplaying purposes. Feel free to use them as sidebars and reaction gifs. PLEASE DON’T CLAIM THEM AS YOUR OWN.
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Mwf that you’d like to see around?
ready with this !
honestly , i'd love to see anyone you'd love to bring as having muse is the most important . i always check out the gif pack tag to see what resources are out there and pick who gives me a muse idea ! however , here are some suggestions ! joy , irene , gemma chan , shuhua , yuqi , joy sunday , jordan alexander , jessica aleander , ming xi , esther yu , halle bailey , zion moreno , seo jihye , angelica ross , simone ashley , ryan destiny , coco jones , hwang yeji , lia ( choi jisu ) , ozge yagiz , araian debose , precious lee , lashana lynch , jessica chastain , ayo adebiri , ara snook , florence pugh , chuu , margot robbie , havanna rose liu , michaela jaé rodriguez , nakamura yurika , shay mitchell , ambika mod , renée rapp, bebe wood, avantika vandanapu, lily rose depp , rachel sennott , cchristina ricci , cierra ramirez , hunter shafer , josie totah , freema agyeman , melanie lynskey , nicole maines , riele downs , priscilla quintana , salma hayek , michelle pfeiffer , jennifer aniston , madelyn cline , zoe soul , maddison bailey , cho miyeon , song yuqi , wawwa nicha , jihane almira chedid , courtney eaton , michelle yeoh , lucy liu , charithra chandran , zendaya , wakeema hollis , jung hoyeon , park minyoung , mookda narinrak , anya taylor - joy , annabelle wallis , shay mitchell , brenda song , jasmine tookes , han sohee , lisa yamada , nadine lustre , lee dahee , kylie verzosa , ni ni , yang hyeji , angela yeung win , poorna jagannathan , kiki layne & namtan tipnaree ! we'll love any face claim u choose !
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