#makes me feel absolutely old LOL

[officialyasen]

Bôa releasing their 2023 MV version of Duvet is truly unexpected

#makes me feel absolutely old LOL #yasenposting

[yardsards]

laios when his party needed more members:

#eliot posts #dunme #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #though i suppose this samurai was less hired and more just dragged along lmao #toshiro (and his team's) existence within this setting absolutely tickles me #bc the setting is so like. Standard Ambiguously Old Timey European Fantasy Setting #and then there just. is a samurai there. #it makes absolute logical sense if you think about it #like yeah of course a world that includes many continents will have more than just Fantasy Europe #but nonetheless seeing a samurai and a knight side by side in the same story is such a genre twist #(i hope no one has made this joke before lol it feels too obvious)

[orcelito]

It is Now

My birthday 😌

I am now 27 💃

#speculation nation #i'll update my bio later bcus i gotta b on my computer to not wreck my html #but the age old 'it's my birthday which means it's time to tick that age up one more year' #been doing this ever since i was 15 lol. and so it shall continue for the foreseeable future. #anyways im feeling better than i was earlier. my girlfriend came over & that helped a Lot #just chatted and cuddled as i waited for my birthday to hit. #it is now may 13th. my 27th birthday. and i have absolutely nothing written for ITNL chapter 19 😭 #i'm working on getting there tho. making good progress in my reread. just having to be more thorough than expected. #i'll still make it my birthday chapter. just in a 'hey my birthday was a few days ago. if u guys wanna wish me happy birthday :]' way #anyways yea if anyone wants to be oh so niceys to me in my comments or asks i would enjoy that very much 🥺

[puppyeared]

save me old flipnote studio MVs.......

#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones #is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme......... #its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid #i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over #theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later #especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure #interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries.. #god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and #cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE #CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus #on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with #and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR #i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with #strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid #someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from #the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors #ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK #lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too #now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here #UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS #yapping #nostalgia

[notetaeker]

Wow I was so unappreciative of my own accomplishments when I was in college. I'm trying to put together a portfolio and it turns out I wrote 5 whole news articles for the school paper ???

#I thought it was around 2 honestly #and also there was an article abt some event I came up with ?? that I had forgotten abt #nah ppl rlly need to find themselves on the floor to appreciate things they did before #I rlly saw myself as such a failure... I remember crying infront of one of the office counselors when they asked me if- #-i was excited abt graduating and I literally was like I feel like I don't deserve it because I've accomplished nothing #what a horrible way to be feeling #I'm sorry to my old self for living like that. man. 'gifted' kid struggles tbh. it makes u so. ungrateful and also feel miserable abt ursel #for absolutely no reason while everyone is telling you that you're fine and you're doing great #and instead of being comforted by that like a normal person. it starts giving u some bad imposter syndrome and need to live up to expectati #anyway. alhamdulillah that I am not like that anymore. Alhamdulillah Allah gas given me some peace #I often get nostalgic abt those times but it's also good to rmember the bad parts of those times too lol so we don't live in the past #💭.txt

[weirdgirlbymommylonglegs]

there’s being a teenage girl in your 20s then there’s whatever the fuck the babyface by sorry mom experience is

#i absolutely hate the phrase ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea it’s infantilising and will only stunt yr mental + emotional development #because if you keep doing that you’ll be 30 something saying shit like ‘i’m a 21 year old in my 30s’ which just sounds worse lol #and so on #and it’s not exactly a new phenomenon either bc women (mainly) will say they’re 21 with x amount of years extra experience #it’s just. idk. the obsession with perpetual yourh looks worse on people who are already young i guess #anyway back to babyface sorry mom. the album of all time; resonates with the ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea #(which for me has always been about being directionless and lost in life and feeling younger because you can see all your other 20-something #friends grow up and get jobs and finish their degrees n shit. and that makes you feel younger; almost teenager like) #(whereas i see a lot of people saying ‘teenage girl in my 20s’ as a way of almost bragging about being immature?? #like not knowing how to do things or speak on certain subjects #stuff like ‘when he talks to me about the economy but i’m #literally a teenage girl in my 20s’ LIKE DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?? #and of course i’m not shaming people for not knowing shit i mean look at me. i can’t drive i have no job and i dropped out of uni #but the REFUSAL to learn is astounding. like people think they can get away with being deliberately oblivious because they have #the self-proclaimed mentality of a teenage girl. and how do you think Actual Teenage Girls feel about people assigning their demographic as #being oblivious and vapid and lacking awareness #you know. traits that have historically been assigned to teenage girls that I Can Actively Remember trying to not associate with. #and my female peers were also arguing against as teenagers. #i dunno. in the words of tame impala it feels like we only go backwards) #long tags #kaycore #(fuck it. putting this in the sorry mom tag) #sorry mom band #babyface sorry mom

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse #like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont #ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean #i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun #lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly #oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well #the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that #oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour #as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little #so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends! #ha ha. this is agony. #i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone #which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one #also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse #i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy #its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking #yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much #im also just really snappy sometimes #I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine #they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them #i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents #they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them #sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone #i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it #sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay #I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor #again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon #if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed #personal rambles #vent tag

[broke-on-books]

I think the universe just hates me personally (can't find my scooby doo comics)

#WHERE ARE THEY #i own like 5 individual issues split between SD WAY and SD & batman adventures and i cant find like 4 of them #this is important bc i just got this new app where you track which comics youve read and i need to be accurate bc yay lists and just aaaggh #also sidenote i think ive found my soulmate this one person leaves a review on each and every WAY comic and they EVEN AGREE WITH ME #literally they said they hated over the boardwalk and i was literally like 'i think im in love' #also i know you guys almost certainly dont know what that is. i have an insanely unporportional hatred of that story especially compared to #its relevancy to scooby comics much less scooby doo as a whole #however i hate it so fucking much its unreal. like pure rage. its worse than scooby apocalypse to me <<<<absolutely nonsensical opinion #anyways feel free to ask me about it (i dare you. i dare you to do it) because i WILL fume with rage and i think that must be heard #but i will not go into a scooby comics rant unprompted. because before i subject you to that i need to know that at least 1 person is #remotely interested lol #also to properly form my rant id have to make myself read over the boardwalk again 🤢🤢🤢 <<<again nonsensical response #and i wont do that for me but id do it for any of you in an instant #ANYWAYS WHERE ARE MY COMICS. LITERALLY ONLY MY SCOOBY ONES (minus one sd & batman issue) ARE MISSING #my far sector tpb? got it! the historical civil war comic i think my grandfather gave me in 5th grade? have that! the scooby doo comics? #gone. vanished from this plane of existence #actually i do know where they are. i have too many books to fit in my bookcase so theres a huge stack that takes up like part of a wall of #books and notebooks and folders and old school binders and other junk #................ #goddamn it im going to go through that aren't i #this is gonna be a total mess dear lord #if i die know that i got crushed by a huge tower of books btw #anyways now time to go thru a bunch of trouble to track down like 3 single issues i KNOW i own #blah

[icewindandboringhorror]

I downloaded an app that I think is meant to be used for like, detailed food tracking or something, but I instead really just wanted something with this format (color coded calendar days) so I could put in one single simple entry a day to kind of rate my day overall (based on physical health symptoms).. which..... looking back over it for the new year since when I first started tracking.. 9 "good" days in about 9 months, so roughly one good day a month LOL...

#A neutral/yellow day is if I felt sick or had any symptoms (nausea. joint pains. headahces. etc.) #to a distracting degree for at least an hour or more at any point in the day - YET it was not so severe or so distracting #that i was completely unable to get anything done. An orange day is if I was so sick or felt so bad #that I completed absolutely nothing that day because my primary focus was basically spending the entire day on whatever #was wrong with me or recovering from that. And a green day is a day that - even if maybe i had a few aches or pains - I was never any #noticable or distracting amount of sick - PLUS - i also got a reasonable amount of things done. #If I don't feel very sick yet I also lack the energy or mental wellness to complete daily tasks then it still counts as a yellow day. #So I guess like.. Yellow is if health was ok but focus was bad OR focus was okay but health was distracting. Green is BOTH focus and #health were mostly okay for a majority of the day with no major setbacks. And Orange is zero focus whatsoever because health is too bad. #There are also 5 categories. the worst is a super dark red and then best is a super bright green but I don't like using them #You have to select a bright red (x_x) emoji face to classify your day as dark red. and I dont like the implication of a 'dead' person face #because of my ocd lmao... it makes me afraid it's some habringer of death (if I select it for that day then somehting terrible will happen #the next day or whatever lol) *** *** *** - so I never use that one. I also feel like the MOST extreme categories should be reserved for #super extreme circumstance like.. I would only do a dark red day if I was literally hospitlaized or something. And same with the bright #green days like.. that would imply I guess that i was both suuuuper productive ANd had basically no symptoms at all all day. like a #Very Very Good day. and I just think that's not even possible. no day ever goes by without me feeling at least a little sick or achey at #SOME point lol... A day with NO headahces or issues or etc would be.... wow... mythical occurence.. #I have definitely gotten worse as I got older but even at like 15 or 16 years old I used to take ibuprophen a ton (I dont anymore of course #for stomach reasons lol) and remember having various minor problems here and there I was bothered by a lot #AAANYWAY.. also I count 44 'bad' days ghb... that's losing like.. at least one entire month of time a year.. maybe this is why I have so mu #much trouble getting things done and finishing my projects. BUT thats the point and why I wanted to track that. to like.. see it all laid #out at the end of the year. Maybe I could even compare years. Even though I started late in 2023. It'd be interesting to have a #yearly record of how many good vs. bad vs. neutral days I had in any given year. #(app is called 'Moodflow' on android phones. in case anyone sees this and asks. though I cant vouch for it or any of the features or anythi #ng since.. again. i literally ONLY use the one single feature of rating calendar days. I look at nothing else on there. And I keep my data #off and phone in airplane mode basically at all times so I never get ads on apps. Sometimes i'll mention liking some puzzle game or somethi #and then someone else is like 'yeah i love it but OMG so many ads' and I'm just like.. yeagh.... not for me lol.. but sorry to you. that #sounds annoying certainly..) ANYWAY.. auuugh... a sea of yellow neutrality. better than a sea of orange though. so :'3c

[pigeonclaw]

I forgot to make a post about it til now, but in Onestar's Confession, Tallstar going to the Moonstone to confirm Crowpaw's story and being told by StarClan "yeah he's right, you'll never get your home back so you need to leave" makes me even more exasperated at the plot of Midnight. Already that book baffles me in hindsight because I misremembered it for years — I believed that the journey to Midnight was to not only strengthen bonds between cats of each Clan to help everyone work together, but also to point them in the right direction of a new home because the lake was so far outside StarClan's sight that the Clans needed an outside source of information.

Turns out I was wrong. The whole journey was just so Midnight could tell them to leave their home, and they had to figure out where to go entirely on their own. (Sure they had a shooting star help them out but it's not like StarClan couldn't have predicted that too.) But if we have confirmation by this point (also confirmed in Shadowstar's Life) that StarClan already knew they had to leave, then what was the point of all that??? All they really accomplished was stalling the great journey for multiple books and letting a bunch of cats suffer and die needlessly. I don't agree with the idea a lot of people have that StarClan and all these characters should simply (and uncharacteristically) work together and flawlessly avoid conflict, I like conflict, but I want a reason for it. The case of Midnight is just so unfortunate. It's such a mess that could have so easily been streamlined into something that makes more sense, but it just... wasn't.

#anyway i have such complicated feelings about tnp. i enjoy the concept but the execution of the first half wasn't great #dawn is one of my least favorite main series books bc the vast majority of it is spent finding excuses to stall the journey #only for the journey to take place over a few chapters at the end #i would have absolutely loved the journey portion to be longer and actually showcase the clans bonding and working together #instead of basically just telling us later after speeding through the whole thing #anyway my impression of onestar's confession so far is that it's just meh #it's not as bad as i was expecting but it does feel like someone looked up all the scenes of him on the wiki and stitched them together #i'm extremely baffled at them making ashfoot and morningflower his littermates #while looking for something else recently i found an old facebook post of vicky's #and one thing she said is that ashfoot and morningflower were onestar's siblings from an older litter #and if they have to be siblings then that makes a lot more sense to me #considering that morningflower at least is supposed to be getting old by the beginning of the series and onewhisker is not #but of course nothing in this book is especially well thought out. on the plus side it's not as bad as leopardstar's honor lol

[fingertipsmp3]

I feel like I’ve lived through at least a month just in the past 3 days. I checked the date just now and damn near had an out of body experience when I realised Monday was only two days ago

#bro the absolute sodding emotional rollercoaster i have been through this past week should be studied by scientists #thursday: unsuccessful job interview. friday: found out that the job interview was unsuccessful. but one of the interviewers (actually a #former colleague of mine lol) gave me a piece of feedback that made me feel like i’d cracked the code for all future interviews #it was this: keep. talking. give as many details as humanly fucking possible. talk about policy. drop in words like safeguarding #list as many examples of stuff as you can. tell stories. bamboozle them #OH i forgot to even fucking mention we had builders at our house until friday. friday was the last day they woke me up with a cacophony #so the weekend was uneventful aside from there was a skip in the driveway and scaffolding all down the side of the house but zero men #monday: successful interview. found out it was successful 5 hours later. got off the phone having accepted the job…… and found a text from #my old boss (the boss i had at the job i really enjoyed. that old boss) inviting me to come back this summer #i had a bit of a mental breakdown but eventually decided to stick with the job i’d just got because it’s a permanent contract and they will #let me sit down #yesterday: found out that the foster doggy i applied for and really wanted is going to her forever home on thursday (which is now tomorrow) #obviously i love this for her but i was like ‘damn. okay’ #today: the foster co-ordinator was like ‘hey do you want to foster this rambunctious 3 year old unneutered terrier?’ #i was like ‘sure yeah what the fuck. that might as well happen’ #(they are neutering him beforehand. and he looks really cute. he’s not aggressive he’s just a young terrier with like 3 brain cells) #unless something finally kills me in the meantime i’m picking him up on monday. i cancelled therapy in order to do this. yes i’m well aware #that there’s a metaphor somewhere in there but it’s fine. i rescheduled therapy #i also have realised i do not know how and when i’m going to get my ssri prescription renewed… i know the pharmacy will call me in a couple #of weeks to make sure i haven’t died. but i think i was supposed to get a prescription renewal at therapy #the therapy i won’t be going to until like 5 days after my prescription runs out. that therapy. foook #honestly withdrawal symptoms would probably just spice up the situation at this point. they’d just make things interesting #i swear to god everything always gets crazy and stupid right before my birthday… remember when i turned 26 and couldn’t drink because i #was on antibiotics for a kidney infection. and when i turned 27 and one of my wisdom teeth tried to emerge #this is like that except with dogs and jobs. at least the skip and the scaffolding are gone now #i AM trying to sell a sofa on facebook marketplace so wish me luck with that ig #personal

[angelnumber27]

I am having very specific localized pain directly where my heart is

have mercy plz just let my body feel normal and not in pain for once. Just today

#this happens more than I care to admit #heart pain #it’s worrying but whatever everything else is in pain too so #I just consider it a normal occurrence #and I absolutely cannot afford to go get something like that (or any pain I have whatsoever) checked out by a professional #so if something serious happens it’s just going to get worse until I die probably lol #I overdosed from a suicide attempt and while mom was bawling telling me she loved me holding my hand #dad was standing in the doorway and all he could give a fuck about is how much money it was going to cost. so #he stared right at me and said ‘this is gonna cost so much fuckin money.’ and that’s ALL he said #now I don’t ask for medical help even if it’s horrible bc of that #who sees their 16 year old daughter convulsing shaking unable to control her facial muscles after an overdose suicide attempt #and sits there straight faced making her feel like shit about money. even though she physically cannot speak back to you #because her facial muscles are contorted and look like a fuckiNg scream mask #it’s just shitty like go say that shit somewhere else #made me feel like he does not care if I live or die #makes me feel like if I did die all he would do is complain about funeral costs #not grieve me or care #it all kinda messed w me a lot lol #anyways sorry for the rant

[marblerose-rue]

hii does anyone have any tips on helping a kitten wind down for the night?

#not art #meandering #got a kitten friday night and when i say she is an absolute angel i mean it #there are no issues i can even think of besides im not really sure how to help her wind down without making her think she has #designated playtime 12 am-1am .??? and even then i dont mind it but come september it will be an issue #she has a lil box in the corner of my room with a lil cat bed + an old hoodie of mine + a plush opossum and by the time she #tuckers out she'll stay put til late morning (there is also nothing physically keeping her in the box LOL its like her lil den) #she does like sleeping in my bed way more and i do let her nap on it during the day but i am too restless before i fall asleep #for me to feel comfortable enough letting her sleep on it at night. maybe when she's older #BUT YEAH tips or tricks..? if theres even anything i can do BAHA #i know cats are more active at night so if at the end of the day theres nothing i can do its no biggie. we play lots during the day #id put this on main but i know i have more reach here #OH YEAH her name is pasty :-) like from neko atsume HAHA

[kuiinncedes]

aksndbdhdhdhhd

#watch me fuckin scream lmfao bro #i’m on a trip sorta to a conference thing that my dad has kinda made me and my brother go to lol and #we’re sharing airbnb and ig the whole trip w a few ppl he knows that i don’t know at all #and i have to room w this 13 yr old girl in like not even a full bed 😭 #and like it’s partly a lot funny bc why am i so scared of this situation lmfaooooo like i’m absolutely more scared of her than she is of me #i keep thinking of that john m/uIaney bit abt 13 yr olds or whatever being the meanest ppl in the world LOL #she’s not mean afaik i’ve barely talked to her bc i am a fully functioning twenty fucking one year old 🤩💀 #idk bro i had a trip earlier this yr where like i could’ve shared a double bed w one of my best friends but we found out the sofa was a #sofa bed so we didn’t and i was highkey relieved jfchdhdhdbh #but here we are also apparently after we get back from this i have to share a bed at home w another near stranger who’s staying w us 🥳 #like it’s not that big of a deal i feel like i’m not super uncomfortable or anything i just feel like whining and i don’t want to do it #lmfaooooo 😭😭😭 #anyway 🫡 #it’s fine everything’s fine im just getting kinda annoyed on this trip by the two other strangers my dad knows #who idk are fine they’re fine i just wasn’t expecting any of it 😭 and i don’t like #new ppl apparently DNBCFJSBCHXNDB anyway #🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 <- waow it’s me #jeanne talks #but bro sharing a bed isn’t gonna make me alr not super great at falling asleep in new places fall asleep easier 🤩 #and we have to be up early lol not that that’s usually a problem for me anyway #rly the point is i just rly wanna whine and complain <3 #it’s rly not that serious #so sorry LOL 🤡🧍🏻‍♀️ ok lemme go to sleep bc i am actually tired sndbchhdjdhc

[apathyfairy]

.

#tonight or tomorrow morning actually is the 4 year anniversary of my dog dying and like surprise surprise lol im still not over it like. #i honest to god dont think i ever will. i honestly dont know how people move on and get other pets and just. keep on living like i #understand it like for some people it's part of the healing process but i just could never do it. like i just cant even fathom #i dont know that's not the point. the point is im having such a hard time because everytime i do anything tonight i keep thinking #4 years ago i still had my dog or 4 years ago in 5 hours i didnt know id be going to the vet at 1am and going home without my dog at 5am #and i just keep reliving it no matter how hard i try to not. and on one hand i want it hurt like i want to remember it just to punish myself #i just i just cant move on like it's just. i went 24 years of my life without ever experiencing death and then 4 years ago today my dog dies #in the most tragic possible way ever and then 11 months later my other dog who i had for 17 years since i was 8 dies and yeah still #not over that one either because i never let myself process that or truly grieve her because i had to shut that up real tight #or i would have lost it for real. and i have the most fucked up miserable tragic dreams about her so many nights a week #because she was old and had been u know. like old dogs do they just decline and that was impossibly hard to watch but at least i kind of #knew it was coming u know but like with my other dog. there was just absolutely no warning it was so sudden and it just ripped me apart and #i honest to god will never be okay again and then 6 months after all that i find out my ex died and only because after 6 years i finally #Finally decide to have the guts to talk to him again and apologize and explain and try to be friends and then nope he's dead #then in between all those deaths a super close family friend died and my grandpa my dad's dad died and like it's just #i had never even experienced death before and then all of a sudden i was engulfed in it and i just dont know how to come back from it. #but tonight is just. painful. like i havent even said his name out loud since it happened. i cant talk about him at all just writing this i #want to cry like it just fucking hurts forever. and it should i guess. #and i feel so stupid because so many times i wonder if my cat even remembers them and i wonder if she misses them too and idk #that makes me feel stupid and emotional and im just a wreck but i should be.

[the-kipsabian]

do you ever love so much you internally combust and just cry uncontrollably

#im sorry im thinking about kip (im actually not sorry and it will happen again) #i just need everyone to understand. how much he actually means to me. how much watching him perform and do his thing makes me feel #how happy it all makes me #its been almost to the date (+2) 8 months since he returned. i just looked at some old posts and im just #this was right after the weekend i met him so maybe i was riding on an ever more emotional high than usually but i had so much love to give #and i still do. like that hasnt changed. hell i might have more love to give now even #just. i cant explain it. just what he does and who he is means everything to me. i dont deep dive study this character and this man for #nothing. i dont talk about things to the extent i do for nothing (it is for fun but its also the one thing that keeps me going in this life #fr. as sad as that might be lol) hell i dont have him permanently inked on my skin for nothing #theres just. so much about this that mean the world to me. its ridiculous i know but it also gives me so much happiness and hope in #this world its the one thing i know i can count on without a doubt #just... yeah. i love him. theres no better way to say it #im emotional nobody look at me for a while #this post is a mess sorry #night is an absolute mess on main