#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onlyplatonicirl · 3 years

Text

please read the whole thing.

Hi guys i don’t know what the fuck happened but let’s just take a moment to breathe.

Remember that Drama is only drama if enough people care. The more it’s passed around and talked about and the more people it scares, the more the fire becomes lit and flames run rampant causes havoc.

Address it, and then put it to the side. Ignore it. It’s not worth completely ruining our fun.

I looked through the “evidence” folder. Evidence is put in quotes because I don’t really know what the objective was there. Some of the screenshots were me venting about COMPLETELY unrelated things, which was private and meant for friends only. There was one screenshot in there venting about how the synni drama was affecting me. It was unbelievably rude and childish to make that public.

Also, I made everyone from blucci gang swear to not leak messages. Not because we were being nasty, but because I would often vent there, because I trusted the people who I was talking to, and sometimes when I was having an awful day I just wanted to talk to the people closest to me. I wanted a place where people could feel comfortable that what they are saying will not be public to strangers, as my server was open to anyone.

If anything, the “evidence” doc is just a sign of how little my trust meant.

Blucci Gang is not an exclusive VIP club for shit talking. It’s just a role on discord. That I give to people who are my friends. The role was blue, and we called it blucci gang because it sounds funny.

My little brother is in blucci gang, Synni is in blucci gang, my friends from SCHOOL are in blucci gang. Because I love them. That’s all it is. They aren’t even active.

I am not responsible for the behavior of everyone 6 months ago. I’m sorry that happened.

I am also not interested in causing problems where none exist. There was absolutely no reason this had to happen, other than to cause chaos and start fights.

If you want to make someone take accountability and apologize, that’s not how you do it. Writing a 10 page call out doc like a 10 year old on twitter with no hobbies is not really the way to go.

This is a lesson for everyone reading this. If you get into friend drama, and you get into a fight, unless the person is racist/homophobic/a groomer/a manipulator/someone with genuinely bad intentions, then do not make it fucking public. End of story, period, full stop. You just make a bad situation ten thousand times worse. If anyone has any questions or concerns, feel free to DM me. I will answer everything as honestly as possibly.

But I do know one thing:

This drama was immature, pointing fingers, unecessary, and disruptive to all. it was uncessisarily hostile, and made people who are not bad people look like toxic monsters. No body was “celebrating” anyone’s leave. Don’t paint a false picture, you look like a child.

Not to mention the mass anxiety and paranoia. We have put all of our friend event plans on hold. The majority of my friends are taking tomorrow off from the internet due to the hysteria. I personally felt physically sick during this whole ordeal. I try my hardest to be the best I can be and take the most logical outcome, yet I’ve learned that no matter what I do, no matter how good I try to be, there will always be someone who dislikes me for it.

It’s just part of life.

Let’s all move on.

If you still hold beef with us after 6 months, just DNI, block, and move on. I’m sorry you were wronged. I hope that you find wonderful friends in the future that uplift you and you find a community where you belong. Not everyone is meant to click and be besties.

“Showing my true colors” lmao what is this, taking the mask off a scooby-doo criminal? I’m a teenage girl who does writes lame fanfiction about sans undertale and you’re making it seem like I love manipulating people and tricking them into liking me or something so I can make them cry????? Lol I like making people cry because of angst reasons, but if someone’s even genuinely mildly disappointed in me I literally will have trouble sleeping for the next week. Maybe in the future don’t make weird baseless claims like that for the sole purpose of causing chaos and dragging my face thru the mud lol. It spreads weird nasty rumors.

And no I’m not “apologizing because I got called out” lmao, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

I’m apologizing because I mean it. I was not part of any of this drama because I don’t give a single damn, and conflict with others makes me nervous. I have a bad habit of putting myself so deeply in other people’s shoes I get second hand stress. During the synni drama, I went many sleepless nights because all the insults and mockery she was recieving felt like it was directly on me. The blucci gang can literally back me up when I say I HAVE fought them on how they behave around those they criticize. The criticism is never baseless, we’re not making fun of random people because we’re dickheads. It’s usually that we have repeated incidents of disruptive behavior over and over and over again, but I AGREE that people’s annoyance with them was over the top. In all of those “evidence” screenshots which were inappropriately leaked, I was never hopping on some sort of band wagon and making fun of people like a dick.

I love my friends. Are they perfect? No. Do they get over-emotional sometimes? Sure. Do I get over emotional sometimes? Of course. Because we’re people.

I will not post anything else relating to this drama, and I am blocking those involved. I do not want negativity in the online space I come to be happy when my irl life is falling apart.

I love you all and I’m sorry you had to witness this trainwreck. We will be arriving at the anime AU shortly <3

45 notes · View notes

kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

Text

August 21: 3x04 And the Children Shall Lead

Okay, I’m finally going to write up my thoughts on And the Children Shall Lead. I think I’m (mostly) over all of my excessively-strong emotions about this ep lol. Maybe going through my notes will bring them back. Or maybe not. I’ve felt very tired and uninterested in everything today so it’s hard to tell. So far the process is not going well: tumblr ate my first attempt at a post, like literally I wrote a few lines, clicked to a new tab, and when I clicked back the post was empty so thanks for that, and I keep on just generally not being interested in the task. So, we’ll see.

The tl;dr is that I don’t see why this ep is considered one of the worst. I actually really liked it!

Single-color jumpsuits: the fashion of the future.

Another old Kirk friend! (This isn’t even important lol; it never comes up again or matters that Kirk knew this guy, but we must always be reminded that he is the best networker in Starfleet.)

“He’s dead, Captain.” Not “he’s dead, Jim”?? Sounds wrong.

“The enemy within.” I thought that was a S1 ep?

Ah, another bunch of creepy kids. In pajamas this time, apparently.

Kirk is not having fun being the center of their creepy little rhyme.

RIP to McCoy but my diagnosis is “alien shenanigans.”

“I’m sorry, Captain Kirk.” Such a polite little alien.

McCoy corralling the kids

This sounds a lot like Miri, except purposeful—something targeted all the adults but left the kids, just like the virus in Miri affected all the adults, but not the kids.

…A disturbance in the cave!

Lol at Kirk’s anxiety face. I feel you, man.

Spock’s never experienced anxiety? My first thought is ‘sounds fake’ but actually… maybe he really hasn’t.

“There has to be an explanation.” This is the MOST Jim line.

I like these kids. They’re actually pretty cute. Also love Kirk trying to relate to the kids.

Where are they? Is this Sulu’s greenhouse lol? I love it. They should have used this set more.

“That place is for adults.” Gotta say, I wrote this down but now have no recollection what it actually refers to. The bridge? I think it’s the bridge.

Are they performing witchcraft? Intriguing.

“Friendly angel”—nothing creepy about that at all.

Got a little alien cult going on here. Every time I feel anxiety from now on I’m going to assume it’s an alien cultist nearby.

“We’ll pursue this in my quarters.” Wink wink.

Can’t fool Uhura.

Never mind. Yes you can.

For someone who wanted the kids guarded all the time, Kirk sure was ok with them just traipsing around the bridge. I mean the guards are at the door but like…they’re only at the door.

Never really thought about how there’s apparently an…engineering component... to flying the ship? I don’t know, I don’t really get it but it’s cool.

"Evil does seek to maintain power by suppressing the truth." Damn. Great line.

BAND OF MARAUDES. That’s a cool backstory for the dead alien society. Basically, they’re ghosts. Greedy ghosts. Alien ghost pirates.

Great triumvirate scene. McCoy want to protect the kids and Kirk’s like “…but the ship, though?” Which is fair!!

What does the ghost want? Um, a ship to maraud in, were you not listening to Spock’s exposition of the back story?

No don’t beam anyone down!!

Love any time Spock pushes someone else out of the way so he can man the transporter. He’s somehow the second-best expert on it on the entire ship.

Eeek, low-key gruesome death there. Look, I know that this is one of the scenes that haters love to point out as a reason to despise the episode but I personally don’t think deeply enough into the transporter situation to wonder how much information they have or assume before they beam people anywhere. Also…weird alien stuff is happening, guys. Just attribute it to that. Also also, if you’re gonna nitpick like that, be prepared to hate all of TOS.

THE KIDS STOLE THE CAR.

“Sulu, what did you to do my ship?”

Uhura’s watching this little witchcraft scene from the background like ‘aw, so cute.’

“Call upon their beasts.” Metal.

“Go to your stations.” This little kid is a future Captain in the making.

SPACE KNIVES

Kirk's like "Oh no, my crew is deserting me, I'm gonna have to fly the whole ship by myself AGAIN.”

“Captain, why are we bothering Starfleet?” Et tu, Spock?s

How did they get to Spock? He doesn’t seem scared of anything…more like he’s under the influence of a general hallucination, like the others seeing the planet on the screen even after they left orbit.

I remember this part, with Kirk freaking out. Spock doesn’t like it one bit.

He’s just being a littttle Dramatique.

Cannot believe that all Spock has to do is say “Jim” in a quiet, intimate voice and Kirk is immediately okay. Just let it out of his system, grabbed onto his friend, heard his own name, and the beast is defeated.

“My Vulcan friend”? Lol.

Kirk’s face when he realizes they’ve got Scotty too…

“Go away or we’ll kill you.” That was legitimately creepy. Scotty gone rogue.

Aw, Spock was worried about him again.

“Without followers, evil cannot spread.”

“Where did you hear this order, Chekov?” / “The voices in my head.”

It’s interesting that Kirk and Spock can’t be manipulated—perhaps because they have each other?

Enough of this—fight time!

That guard sounded like he really liked that nerve pinch; he was kinda moaning as he went down.

“Spock, corral them to their rooms.”

Outta the chair, brat.

Is Kirk going to defeat the alien evil using logic?

Summoning the “angel” by using the old recording is very clever.

When did they decide to start calling him the Gorgon?

“It lost its power in the light of reality” = “I looked into Spock’s eyes and knew myself again.”

HE IS GENTLE. It’s true and you should say it.

And he doesn’t even dispute it. “AND we are ALSO very strong.”

"You are full of goodness. Such as you cannot be changed."

So the girl is Jankowski.

This is very Candyman. The alien needs their belief to live. When they cease to follow him, he literally disappears.

Honestly, this whole alien scheme starts to look equal parts silly and sad, trying to call the crying children "generals.” They’re babies!

McCoy loves to see children in tears lol.

Kirk just hands them all off to McCoy, like ‘well, my work here is done.’

Okay, now we reverse course to pick up those stranded security guards still on the planet, right? Right? No? Okay, guess not.

Uhura, immediately ready with the paperwork lol. Now IS the time.

The end!

Now to try to interpret all of my other, more general notes.

The way I interpreted Spock being able to defy the mind control was that he was affected by Kirk. Because he clearly was affected, but then when he saw Kirk starting to freak out, he looked concerned, and then got them both off the bridge—he had a breakthrough of clarity long enough to understand he needed to get off the bridge. Then he’d be away from the kids, and they wouldn’t have as much control, and he could snap Jim out of it, too.

Like I’m sure his Vulcan resilience could easily have been part of it, too, but that resilience wasn’t enough to keep him from being affected at all—and of course they could have easily written it that way—and it seems obvious that his moment of clarity was caused specifically by watching Kirk starting to lose it. There are so many shots of him specifically watching Kirk and the guard.

The K/S vibes were so strong. Spock was so protective, then they get in the lift and Kirk basically clings to him. All he has to do is say Kirk’s name and Kirk is fine, which is basically the power of true love. And then even outside of that scene… for the whole rest of the ep, they’re a duo. It’s not just Kirk against the Evil of the Week, it’s Kirk and Spock, working together at every turn. Neither of them could have done it alone.

it's a pretty classic trope, in fact, especially in s1, to have Kirk all alone, abandoned by all...where he's the last man standing, the one who has to run the whole ship and save the whole day. Naked Time, This Side of Paradise, and Trouble with Tribbles (kinda) all come to mind. But this time he has Spock! You see the progression of their relationship in that.

I really enjoyed this episode in general. Lots of classic tropes: creepy children; surprise alien; old alien society not as dead as we thought; Kirk has to run the whole ship by himself (with Spock); heroic!Kirk saving the day… It has it all. It’s clearly revisiting some older themes and ideas, but in a sufficiently unique way that it doesn’t just seem like a rehash of an older plot. In some ways, it felt like a Classic S1 episode to me. It has some Miri elements, some Charlie X elements, some Naked Time elements…

I literally don’t understand why it’s so disliked.

Skimmed the wiki and the only specific criticism in there is that Kirk shows an “unmistakable hostility to the children.” Well first of all, he doesn’t. He might not have the best manner with them, but why should he? He’s certainly not mean or cruel to them. He recognizes they’re a danger to his ship, and to the whole planet of Marcos-12, which by the way is objectively true, but that’s not being hostile. McCoy is the one who represents ‘exclusive care for the children’s welfare’ in this ep, but he CAN do that, because he’s not the Captain. He represents that perspective, he gives his opinion, which is both his job on the ship and his role on the show, and then Kirk takes that into account while doing HIS job, which is running the ship. McCoy would have literally let the kids take over their ship and conquer the galaxy as part of their grieving process lol. Kirk was right and I should say it. (Also btw he understands that killing the kids might be an option—but he obviously doesn’t actually do it.)

I actually think this ep is a great example of the triumvirate functioning--McCoy reminds Kirk that the children are just traumatized children, and Spock reminds him that he's responsible for 400+ people on the ship, and Kirk makes the decisions that vanquish the evil, save the ship, and free the kids.

And look, even if you don’t like this episode, you’d have to argue very hard to convince me it’s the WORST, as in worse than Spock’s Brain, worse than The Alternative Factor, worse than Assignment Earth (not even a real TOS ep!), worse than The Omega Glory.

Some stuff I actively liked: the concept of the alien taking over the children specifically (both creepy and…kinda makes sense? That they’d be vulnerable); the message that the followers of demagogues can be both truly dangerous and objects of sympathy; the backstory of the evil empire of pirate aliens—and how greed doesn’t die; the witchcraft aesthetic, ESPECIALLY when paired with the kid antagonists, since kids are so into that like chanting, incantations, rituals thing; that the ep used every single main character (when was the last time a TOS ep did that?). Also I thought the kid actors did a good job!

The theme about the authoritarian and the cult followers was actually quite resonant, I thought; inevitably made me think of Tr/ump and his Tr/umpies. Just like in this episode, you must have some kind of… if not sympathy, at least willingness to do the hard work of deprograming and then bringing them back to the fold, or else the country is never going to heal and it’s never going to be able to go forward in a positive way. It might not go forward at all! But fuck it’s hard to have that sympathy; they’re so abhorrent. Here, you see the terrible things the kids do, and yet sympathy isn’t so hard, because they’re kids. You see how much they are victims/pawns also. And so in that sense, Kirk’s ability to deprogram them is comfortingly optimistic—a little bittersweet, as TOS often is, because the kids have done horrible things and seen horrible things and now they’ll have to live with it, but comforting nonetheless.

I can’t even think of that many things I didn’t like in the ep. Mostly just nitpicky things. Like, was McCoy a little inconsistent in what he thought should be done with the kids? Yeah, but we get the general idea. Did Kirk drop the ball when he let them hang out on the bridge? Yes, especially as he knew how dangerous they were at that point, but I actually don’t mind it so much because they’re kids—it’s understandable that their true dangerousness didn’t fully compute to him. I don’t see that as a mistake or sloppy writing tbh. And was it an amateur hour mistake to beam two people into space? Yes, but it made up for it in being creepy and upping the stakes of the ep.

I guess I could see how the fist gesture could be seen as a little silly. But the other option, having them speak rhymes each time, would have been distracting—and probably also looked silly! Also, as my mom pointed out, it looks like a kid’s game (sorta like the start of rock paper scissors) so it fits appropriately with the theme.

I really liked how they wove in the aesthetic of kids’ games, kids’ manners of playing, into the narrative. Kids can be really creepy! They like creepy things! So the ring around the rosy rhyme at the beginning—a quite disturbing chant, of course, about the Plague, that is also very commonly sung by actual kids—foreshadows the summoning chant that brings the alien to them. It’s all of a piece. And just like the rhyme is just a rhyme, and they don’t know the real meaning behind it, they probably also don’t fully understand the meaning of the summoning chant or the alien that comes with it. It’s all one big game to them.

It’s interesting that the alien seemed to play off their desire both to punish their parents for working too much ("they like the planet, they're always busy") and to have freedom from parental rules (how they react to any instructions from adults, the alien's promise that the whole universe will be their playground, etc.). He really picks their sore spots as kids specifically and turns them into his “generals” accordingly. Like all kids, they don’t think too much about the larger consequences of their game because in some ways, it really is all just a game to them.

I liked how the episode characterized Kirk’s ability to interact with kids. He’s not bad with them at all, but he’s not like McCoy or Chapel either. He “wants to communicate with the future adult in the kid,” as my mom put it, which is perfect. He doesn’t exactly treat them as mini-adults—he doesn’t say inappropriate things to them, and he does simplify his language and his ideas for them—but he does treat them very seriously. And he’s probably best at one-on-one interactions like with Tommy. I think this makes total sense for his character: he doesn’t have kids (David aside lol), he doesn’t have younger siblings, he doesn’t work in a place where he’d see other people’s kids, he doesn’t get to see his nephew much, etc.

…Okay those were all my notes. I know I had other thoughts that were a little less scattered later, but… I’m tired. And most of it is probably in here in some form or another. I also found a list of, like, actual critiques of the episode, and I was considering going through them and addressing them all, and I might still do that. But I think that’s for another day.

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #2021: fandom thoughts #star trek tos

2 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 3 years

Text

1006

(found at xxbieberburnham)

“The rest of your life”

Are you independent or dependent? Dependent as all hell. I’ll put my foot down on very certain things, but most of the time I prefer hearing input or suggestions from people I trust. I definitely think it’s something I still have to work on because I know I’ll have to be mostly independent at some point.

If you could put your life into a category, where would it go? I feel like this would be easier to answer if you gave a list of categories. I don’t know what kind of insight you’re looking for.

How many animals do you have? I have two, but I call them pets.

Are you popular? Idk and I don’t care. All I know is I don’t actively seek to be so.

What time were you born? 9:11 in the evening.

Have you had any candy this week? Yeah, I had a gummy worm this morning. Mom bought a box of Halloween-themed sweets and there were cupcakes had gummy worms on them alongside marshmallows designed to look like a tombstone.

Are you more afraid of tornadoes or hurricanes? Hurricanes are terrifying, but I’m used to them. We don’t get tornadoes at all so I’ll not only be unprepared for those, but would definitely be more afraid of them too.

Do you like those nerd glasses? Sure, I still think they’re cute and look good on people but I never called them nerd glasses lol. Mine are kinda shaped like one.

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Nah, I’d be wiped out pretty fast.

What color is your house? A light shade of beige.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? More than a year ago, I’m sure. It was during our ride back home from a journalism workshop, which if I remember correctly was all the way in Cavite. Goddamn we traveled a lot for those workshops.

Have you ever ate a crayon? I’ve never bitten off a piece but I’m not ruling out at least licking.

Ever rode in a helicopter? Nope. Would love to.

Do you like rabbits? Sure.

Do you like mushrooms? For the most part I don’t even think they taste like anything, so I never really had a problem with mushrooms.

“It’s like you step into the room and just press play”

What was the last movie you cried at? That Thing Called Tadhana. I had watched it five years ago after my first breakup; I got to go to Sagada shortly after that breakup, so that movie was actually very therapeutic for me at the time because it allowed me to release my feelings the way Mace did, also in Sagada. Now I’m stuck at home and can’t travel and that movie just hurt too much to finish.

What ice cream flavor best describes your personality? I don’t really...pair ice cream flavors with types of personalities.

Would you rather work for a small or large company? Large, because I feel like I’d be challenged more in those and thus learn more. Also it just looks nicer on resumés, if I’m being honest. Smaller companies are ok too but I prefer those that already have a rep for churning excellent results and having a good track record for workplace culture, like the company I’m currently working with.

Where's your favorite place to buy clothes? Ukays. I used to not like them, but my mom and sister did a great job reeling me in and making me see the appeal.

How many languages do you speak? Two.

What was the worst movie you've ever seen? Me Before You was such a waste of my time. Predictable, cheesy, and typical asshole-guy-softens-up-over-time-oh-and-just-as-you-start-to-root-for-him-we’re-gonna-kill-him-off. But idk, I was with friends who were into movies like those and I wanted to support them, so I went along to watch.

What video game have you played the most? Cumulatively, pretty sure it’s Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

What was your favorite TV show as a child? I was a Nickelodeon girl and Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, and My Life as a Teenage Robot were my top 3, with Jimmy Neutron closely trailing at #4. I loved Disney shows too but wasn’t really able to appreciate them as much until I got a little older and could understand their humor better.

What's your favorite sport? My answer won’t change - if it counts, pro wrestling. If it doesn’t, my next favorite is table tennis.

If you were given a brand new yacht, what would you name it? Nothing creative is coming to me at the moment.

Do you believe there’s life on other planets? Yes. Maybe not the ones in our solar system, but those out in the distant universe for sure.

What was the worst place you ever traveled to? Can’t say I’ve truly disliked a particular place we’ve been to. I will say that Chinese people have a...culture that I’m not used to, and I did not enjoy touring with a bunch of them during my cruise. They had buffet habits that I would consider unhygienic, they would sit at the same table my mom and I were eating at if there were available seats(??????? imagine if I just sat beside you at a diner while you’re having lunch?), and apparently it’s acceptable for them to actually look you in the eyes and point directly at you if they’re talking about you with other people. It was honestly a lot to put up with for six days, and the only reason I didn’t lose my temper was because my dad works in the ship and I didn’t want to cause him any trouble.

What is one thing you’re really bad at? Making art.

Do you believe in angels? No. I like referring to my grandpa as my guardian angel, but I don’t actually believe in angels.

Would you rather be a famous actor or musician? I know I’m awful at either, but I’d much rather act.

“where have you been all my life?”

If you could have invented one thing, what would it have been? It’d be cool to come up with something that ends up being widely popular and/or beneficial to society, but do it accidentally; like how popsicles came to be. Imagine building a legacy from your own oopsie lmao sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

What's your favorite exercise workout? I don’t do workouts.

What's your favorite thing to do? Wow, very straightforward. Hmm these days I’m slowly inching back to wrestling, so I’ve been watching compilations and documentaries and doing some catching-up here and there. Lately I’d say that’s my favorite thing to do, but that can always change.

What did you do for your 17th birthday? Gab and I went to Pinto and she brought me to Filio after. Then I got back home to see what Athenna had done to my room while I was out, which was to cover the floor with balloons and the walls with printed photos of Zayn Malik.

Does your local Wal Mart have benches in them to rest? First, we’ll need to have local Wal-Mart stores here.

Was your favorite stuffed animal really a teddy bear growing up? I never liked stuffed animals, so I didn’t even have a teddy bear.

If your house was haunted, what would you do? Not fuck with the ghosts/spirits.

Are you crazy in love currently? Not crazily, but in love.

Are you good at swimming? I can tread and do several strokes, but I also tend to panic so I think that eliminates the concept of me being a good swimmer.

What's worse: Slow internet or slow walkers? Slow internet. I can get around slow walkers; but unless I have mobile data, slow internet is out of my control for the most part.

What is the rudest thing a guy has ever done to you? I can’t pick between whistling at me, catcalling me, lunging at me, or flirtatiously harass me in front of his friends while I was minding my goddamn business carrying a goddamn box of cake at the mall. Yeah, not a very big fan of men.

Do you sleep with the sheets tucked in or out? Out.

What do you do to fall asleep faster? Put on a YouTube video and let autoplay take over.

Do you carry a bottle of water wherever you go? Yeah I used to, until I lost it.

Ae you afraid that one day you might get cancer? The fear of the possibility is there, but it’s not predominantly in our family history and so I’m more afraid of other issues I have a higher chance of getting, like high blood pressure.

“Letters to Juliet”

Are you a fast or slow walker? Fast if I’m running errands, slow-ish if I’m out for leisure.

Do you usually have to wear a belt with your pants? No.

Does it bother you when people's underwear hangs out? Kinda. Even more when their crack decides to show up too.

Are you usually the person to try new things with your hair? No, I am one of the last people in line when it comes to that.

When's your birthday? April 21st.

Do you own a bobble-head toy? Nopes.

What color was the towel you used to dry off with today after a shower? Turquoise.

Has anyone ever walked you home? I’ve had someone drive me home. Walking isn’t really applicable here.

Have you ever liked someone and they were taken? That’s never happened to me.

When was the last time you went fishing? In my past life, maybe.

True or false: You've read the book Lord of the Flies? False.

Have you heard of the band Yellowcard? Yes.

Have you ever seen the show Teen Wolf? I’ve seen an episode and oh my god it was so boring.

Do you have any quotes, lyrics etc on your walls? I used to until my mom took it down while I was in school. I made it myself, so it stung.

Are you a fan of Star Wars? No.

“Our parents never let us cross the street, but we did it anyway”

Has anyone ever told you that you have nice hair? Whenever it was actually nice, yeah. It was never my best feature though.

What brand of camera do you own? I have...an iPhone, if it counts, ha. My old DSLR was a Nikon.

Is there something you're not looking forward to? The next day. Having to go through rounds of anxiety is not enjoyable.

Have you ever read the book Thirteen Reasons Why? Have not read the book nor seen the show, but have read enough of the premise to know I am not a fan.

Do you wear white pants? Sure, I have a pair of white jeans that I absolutely love.

When was the last time you were really angry? Yesterday. My sister and I were ordering KFC from a food delivery app and no driver was taking it because drivers in that company are notoriously picky bitches about their destinations. They kept canceling our orders and at some point I had enough and proposed that we just get Pizza Hut, this time straight from the Pizza Hut website, which has always worked out for us before. So Pizza Hut confirms the order, calls me up and says the ETA, so far so good. Around 15 minutes later the doorbell rings and it’s...KFC? With our original orders? Apparently that stupid ass app took our order anyway after repeatedly canceling it, and I never got one fucking notification that our order was received. Tried to cancel Pizza Hut but they said they had already started making the pizzas, so in the end we had to pay for both meals. I had never been so angry.

Have you ever made a 3 pointer in a basketball game? Hah, of course not. I’ve barely made one of those free throws that are worth one point.

Do you think you look better with your hair up or down? I’ve gotten more compliments whenever it’s up, so that must look better on me even if I personally don’t necessarily agree.

Do you warm up before you hardcore exercise? I don’t exercise, but isn’t warming up recommended anyway?

Do you want a pair of Converse shoes? Not really; I suppose they’re alright. It’s not my favorite brand in the world, but I wouldn’t turn down a free pair either.

Are you more of a studs or hoops type of person when it comes to earrings? Hoooooooooops for days.

How many shirts do you have of your favorite band? Just one. I’m not a band shirt person.

Turn on the TV. What channel are you on? There’s no TV in this room.

Have you ever wore a tie before? Yeah, as a kid my mom sometimes made me wear neckties. They made me SO uncomfortable I was having internal breakdowns about being seen in public. I was 7 years old. Neckties to me were a boy thing and I felt 0% boy; and so it gave me such serious dysphoria. It’s like making a boy wear a pink tutu even if he’s already visibly distressed. Whenever I told my mom I felt uncomfortable, she would just tell me it “looks good.” Jesus Christ. Why did no one ever drag my mom to a parenting seminar? Did no one seriously see the signs???

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Garlic rice, bacon strips, and glazed ham.

“For the Krusty Krab”

Are you good at art? Of course not.

How many times have you read your favorite book? I don’t have one.

Name one thing that you really hate. Raisins, on their own and incorporated in a dish.

Have you ever tried walking on stilts? I haven’t.

Is there a war that you find interesting? Eh, not really. So many of historical accounts are bombarded with war narratives as it is, and I’ve just never really found disputes or tensions among countries to be the most interesting part about history. Plus women were mostly absent, and that makes it even more boring.

Would you rather live in the city or country? City.

Do you think $7 is too much for a movie ticket? Not always. $7 or ₱350 is actually pretty reasonable if you wanna see a movie at an upscale mall; people who watch movies in places like that shouldn’t be complaining about movie tickets that cost that much. But all movie theaters are the same anyway - pitch black, freezing, comfy chairs - so I just go to midscale malls where tickets would be like a hundred bucks cheaper since it’s gonna give me the same experience anyway.

Would you like to be a newscast person? For a long time I thought I wanted to be one because that’s what my entire family was rooting me to become. Eventually I realized reading from a teleprompter, interviewing guests, and asking questions to reporters is not a career I want.

Do you like word searches, coloring or crosswords better? Word searches, then coloring, then crosswords.

Close your eyes and press a random key on the keyboard. U.

How many William’s do you know? I don’t think I know anyone. It’s too foreign-sounding a name.

What time did you wake up this morning? I woke up at around 6 AM, but I fell back asleep immediately and woke up again around 30 minutes later.

Do you enjoy crutches? ...No? That seems a little insensitive for people who actually need them.

What's better: Snapple or Arizona tea? Arizona. It’s because I’ve never had the Snapple one, but tbh Arizona is already pretty delicious anyway.

Make a word out of the word: Dinosaur. Round.

“she said I love this song, I’ve heard it before”

When you were younger, did you play with legos? Yes. I was never a creative kid, but I liked playing with them anyway.

Do you like Trix cereal? It was only my absolute favorite cereal as a kid, no biggie.

Do you get nervous easily? Ugh, yes. My parents asked me to get water containers from our local water station last Saturday and I literally had to allot like two hours to brace myself and make a script in my head. I constantly rehearse shit nearly every time I have to go out of the house.

How long is your Facebook password? I’m not sharing that.

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? No, I didn’t find it funny the first time and that made me uninterested in giving it a second chance.

How do you want your wedding to be? Big, grand. Lots of friends, lots of food. Not Catholic/Christian.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Nope.

Do you hate it when you arrive to something early? Not usually. Being early is my goal in most situations, unless I’m headed to like a party.

Have you ever been on Omegle? A few times as a teenager.

Are you still in love with one of your exes? Yes. It’s not going away for a while.

Do you think it's attractive when guys wear beanies? I don’t necessarily seek out men with beanies lol but I don’t think it looks bad on them either.

What's something that makes you feel shy in public? Unfamiliar situations.

Do you like the shows on MTV? No.

If you could go back and relive one day, what day? That last Friday I was in school before the lockdown happened. If I knew what the next eight months were going to look like, I would’ve stayed much longer in school, dragged my friends out to drink, blew my money on food, had more fun basically.

What's one word you hate to be called? Exhausting. Like being told I’m exhausting to be with. How does that not hurt?

#survey #surveys

6 notes · View notes

stevewiththeweather · 4 years

Text

caution for longass post ahead. it’s my (summer of) 6th grade sketchbook

thank you, past me, very cool

theres a fuckton of deh in here and most of it makes me want to dump a bucket of cold water on my past self’s head, so be warned

chibi harry potter. this one’s not awful

this was also back when i liked mlp. i was a derpy stan

harry potter again. this one actually looks worse in the photo because i took it at a bad angle. i liked it at the time but noted the hand was a bit small. lmao

this was also the same year i rediscovered avpm! so many things happened in that year in terms of fandoms

lauren’s draco. the one on the bottom right (the actual screenshot, not the drawing) was my profile picture for the longest time

quirrelmort. the one ship i don’t hate now because it was like. canon

this was from like. a year later also @ past me you absolutely did not

i remember angrily drawing the line across her neck because it was a “good drawing” but the neck was too long. lol

i sort of wanted to be one of those kids that drew cats. as you might be able to tell, that didn’t happen

ah yes, the precious baby bean modern!john laurens

i don’t know. something to do with pride

some elf girl

attempted redesign of elf girl from a year later. i cut it out but it says “oh god no come back in 10 months” and i think it’s been about that so challenge accepted

hmaliton

lmao very cool. on the side it says “idkkk lol”

tfw you were chosen for the constitutional convention

john laurens stacking turtles. haha turtle boi

redraw from 2019 probably. iactuallykindoflikethisjgkfjbhsdvs

you will Literally never guess who this is

ham chart.

the top ones were drawn by a good friend.

we stan a problematic king. or something

HAMILSHARKS

expressions practice. fun fun fun

this one’s kind of good. there’s nothing too cringeworthy here so that’s a plus

foh doh doh dee doh

this is probably the best one. i used to think jared was funny hahahaaahahah g

dear evon handsin

masterpiece

sjskdfavf,,, i remember being super embarrassed of this at the time but i didn’t want to throw it away because i spent ages on it anyways rip eliza

uh.

thanks, i hate it

thanks, i really hate it. this used to be inside the plastic on the outside of the binder, which makes it even worse

ew ew ew but the backstory behind this is that my friends shipped me with jared kleinman. i drew this in response being like “nope i’m just a lesbian that fetishizes mlm relationships for some reason and also jared is gay”

haha seabury gay

haha modern!seabury gay

hahahah whatre you reading there pal

modern au kingsbury antics. what a couple

hahahahahahah more lams i drew myself and a friend poking our heads out on the side saying kinky kill me please

tried to draw a japanese schoolgirl and failed. i didn’t know references existed back then apparently

leggy best hamilton ship

modern kingsbury ref sheet

my friend’s old oc

vent. i shrunk it so you can’t really read it but it was all worries in the form of questions. i went back in 2019 (i guess) and highlighted the things that happened. a few more have also happened since then. i really hate the “LMAO OK Drama bitch” i wrote in 2019 though

this is from 2019 i guess. wow what a master comedian

ebon honschen

alana but shes blue daba dee daba die daba dee daba die

genderswapped gared gleinman

“nope” first of all, mood

this one was ok. modern teabury again

tried to do those aesthetic-looking doodles but ran out of Things

piss

haha cause it’s dEER EVAN HANDSEN GEDDIT D EER HAHAGAHGSDAHJ

deer evan hansen: good edition

anxiety is so adorable amirite

angel connor. in terms of drawing alone this one’s actually not bad. also WE’RE ALMOST AT THE END

some cool badass knight princess or something

im pretty sure i stole that phrase. also look at that hair haha

i thought i was a fucking genius for coming up with this

GEORGEFAYETTE OTP ALSO WE HAVE REACHED THE END!!! PRETTY SURE ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS GOING TO READ THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING BUT CONGRATS IF YOU DID I GUESS

4 notes · View notes

entriesfromangels · 4 years

Text

Journal Entry (#5) ~

Oh the times we are living in right now.

It’s crazy how a virus is changing our daily lives. How it affects people mentally and physically. But we have to do what we can to keep others safe. Stay home y’all. It’s the best we can do!

Staying home is ideal for anyone who is an introvert at heart. I am but I do like to go out from time to time and socialize with others. Its weird not being able to do that right now.

Lately I’ve been struggling. Not with the whole quarantine stuff but with family. As y’all know, I’m living with my fiancé and his family or my future in-laws.

My MIL (mother-in-law) and I are not in the best situation. Our relationship is complex. There is respect there but right now its not anything more than that.

We had a talk a few days ago about where we stand. I have had previous talks with her but it involved me writing things down that bothered me and after she told me to place myself in her shoes... i realized I’m going about this all wrong.

She felt i was ambushing her with all the negative things i don’t like that she does. After sitting down, hearing how she felt, it really hurt me to know i have been treating her so poorly. I also have a bad habit in venting about my issues with her to my fiance and my parents. My MIL sees it as talking s**t and obviously... that wasn’t my intention but i see where she is coming from.

I’m Hispanic. Our culture involves gossiping and venting thoughts and emotions to ones we are the closest to. All my life, i never saw it as an issue because I’ve always done it. My family does it. My friends do it. I was bound to pick it up.

My fiance is white. Obviously their culture is different and gossiping is seen as a harmful thing. After hearing what she felt about me doing this, potentially damaging her having a future relationship with my parents, painting her in a negative light and just overall not feeling good about herself and how she’s portrayed to others, has been a negative impact on her self-esteem.

Another issue that had been bothering her is when i vent about her to my fiance. Things she does that bothers me, things that annoys me and things that make me angry. She mentioned, in order to maintain a positive relationship, i need to go to her for any issue i may have with her. I don’t know why its taking me so long to understand and realize that's what i should be doing but I am doing that now.

There is also a lack of trust. I promised her i wouldn’t tell my fiance about our talks and continue to complain about her. After our last talk before our recent one, i did the opposite and told him everything we talked about. Big mistake.

She saw it as backstabbing and from then on, has slowly lost trust in me. After she explained that, while crying, i was starting to realize how my actions are affecting her.

Being from a different culture isn’t an excuse. Being used to how i handle things and express myself when it comes to difficult situations isn’t an excuse. I have been treating her basically like a piece of trash and i feel so f***ing terrible about it........

All my life, after coming out of treatment, i have embraced positivity and wanted to live my life with no negative people or negative thoughts. Since living here and getting to know my in-laws better, I have done the complete opposite to my MIL and i just feel like the worst person...

She told me it will take time before she can fully trust me again and i totally understand. I’m 24, going to be 25 in June and i am acting like a child tbh.

Sometimes when you go about things a certain way for so long and don’t think anything more about it, you don’t really realize how someone else, who might not be used to that, may feel.

I have so many positive people in my life, i do but we gossip. Not always but it does happen. That may not be positive to someone else and you know what? It really isn’t. I saw a normality behind it and didn’t think it would be harmful to someone else.

My MIL can get on my nerves and i know i get on hers. That is bound to happen. The way i have been handling our conflict has not been the best. I know i can do better. She said she was going to watch and see if i do hold up to what i said i was going to do and with time, slowly grow her trust back with me.

I have been so blessed to have a wonderful fiance and a great MIL. She has done so much for us and is a literal angel for her efforts. I just haven’t been showing it... my actions haven’t spoken for my words and that is a real problem.

I know deep down I’m not an awful person and i know she isn’t either. How can she know that if all i have done is gone behind her back and vent about all the things i think she is doing wrong. That isn’t right and it hurts to think i have affected someone else in this way.

Since our talk on Saturday (3/28), I haven’t spoken to anyone about what we specifically discussed. The most i have said is our talk was good and we are doing okay moving forward. I have not even mentioned it to my fiance and honestly, we have been more playful and loving without me spreading negative feelings towards his mom. If he gets annoyed with her on his own, i have just been comforting him and reminding him that she loves him and talk her up instead of agreeing and making him think worse about her.

I never in my whole life considered gossiping or venting as being a negative thing or impact on someone else. I’ve always done it. It may seem odd to someone else that it has taken me this long to understand the dangers of this. Especially when i have experienced it on the other end. Its not fun, it makes you feel helpless since you cant defend yourself when the gossiping takes place. So you may ask, “if you understand how this can be negative to someone else, why are you still engaging in it?” My answer is, i don’t know.

Gossiping is a very social thing. Your friend brings up something someone else did and complains. What do you do? Agree with your friend and comfort them. If its about a friend, we bring in what also bothers us about them and continue with that. It seems harmless but you might also think, what about the person you are talking about? What is this issue that annoys you so much that you can’t bring it up to the person being talked about? How would that make them feel if they knew you were talking about them in a negative light?

And you know what, that's true. How would that make the other person feel? The answer to that is, not very good. I saw it with how hurt my MIL was about it. How she tries so hard to please others and make others feel happy and comfortable. I was so heartbroken to see that i caused her to feel so bad about herself, made her cry and loose her trust with me.

She also mentioned if this is how i really am as a person, that she doesn’t want to be involved in that. The truth is, i am not that person. I love people. I love my family/friends and i want nothing but for them to be happy and feel loved. I just haven’t properly given my MIL the love and respect that she so greatly deserves and for that, i will always feel terrible; even when things get better.

Moving forward, she said she will watch to see if i fulfill my promise to not vent or complain about her and if there is an issue, i come directly to her instead of being a chismosa (gossip in Spanish). So far i haven’t complained, vented or talked about our whole conversation to ANYONE.

Instead, i’m writing it on here. My positivity blog where i feel the most safe with my thoughts. This is better than spreading gossip and bringing others into a situation when its just between the two people involved.

Everyday since our conversation, i have been feeling lighter and happier with my surroundings. One thing that won’t change is my mental health struggles with anxiety and depression; having thoughts and needing an outlet to let them out. Thanks Tumblr! Lol

I will continue to post how our relationship progresses and my feelings/mood since giving up gossiping. To tell you the truth, I feel so much better and understanding about the situation knowing what i did wrong and how that affected someone else I love/care about.

You are never to old or young to better yourself and improve relationships.

I hope for nothing but positive feelings and thoughts moving forward and if i do have something negative to say, its better to not say it at all.

#journal #journal entry #personal #my thoughts #moving forward #MIL #relationships #positive thoughts

1 note · View note

kyosohmastan · 5 years

Note

Please do ignore if you like because I want to vent my feeling a bit. My mind is quite mess up like because of environment I’m in and when someone said they’re disappointed in me because I’m negative person, I feel guilty😔 and I feel it’s better to be alone anyway even though I like fruits basket and I really hope to meet someone like Tohru who is understanding, considerate and don’t force anyone to what she want them to be.

I go through the same thing on a regular basis and it just sucks. In fact, most of my anxiety has been stemmed for the same reason: feeling like I disappoint everyone because I’m not like them. It’s funny because as a teenager, yeah, I went through similar things and it hurt, but I was also taken care of. But that period has nothing on my 20s. When you’re an adult and feel alone, it’s a horrible feeling.

I have a big problem with overthinking about negative things at night when I’m trying to get to sleep because it’s the time when I’m forced to be alone with my thoughts and usually I’ll just cry myself to sleep and it feels awful. This happened to me a few days ago. During that time, I got the idea to journal. Like, I literally jumped out of bed at 3 a.m, got an old journal that’s been laying around, and wrote about everything that’s been bothering me. I’ve been writing in it every night since just talking about how my day went and how I’m feeling. It’s already helped me so much. This way, I vent all my thoughts in a journal that no one is going to see (which is a good thing) and I’m able to sleep peacefully because I don’t have those thoughts engrained in my mind at least for the night. I would highly recommend journaling. It’s so therapeutic and it gives you an outlet to express your feelings.

And, of course, Fruits Basket has helped me so much as well. The reason it means so much to me is exactly because it tackles mental health in a comforting way. I’ve been ostracized from my family for the past few years because I don’t have as modest of a lifestyle as they would like…when I honestly do nothing bad. But religion causes rifts that’s all I’ll say. That’s the reason I’ve latched onto Kyo as hard as I have because we’re so similar in that regard. He seriously is my savior and his character arc inspires me so much.

So you are not alone! I’ve been going through the same thing for a looooong time and it still hurts, but I get a little more over it every day. At least I still have my parents and they accept me no matter what I do. As sad as it sounds, they’re my best friends. I’m seeing my family at the end of this month so I’ve been extremely anxious lately. I just have to hope that all goes well and they don’t go hard on me because I really can’t stand up for myself. I just take the blows and cry. Ugh.

We all need Tohru lol. But she heals me through Fruits Basket itself so even though she’s not a real person, her messages and comfort still come across to me. Please DM me if you ever need to talk some more. And that goes for everyone reading this. I will always listen. I have a huge passion for mental health and I absolutely love being that shoulder to cry on. I don’t want anyone to feel like this.Ever.

#fruits basket #furuba #ask #fruits basket ask

9 notes · View notes

surveyyyys · 4 years

Text

It’s 2020.

1. What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before? I got really into fitness! I started lifting weights multiple times a week, and really taking care of my body. I put on a lot more muscle over the past year, and I finally actually like my body a lot! On a related note, I also went to a professional east coast bodybuilding competition. I didn't go for myself obviously, but I went to support my boyfriend.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Actually I did! I was one of those cheesy people who wanted to get in shape and start working out in the new year. I actually stuck to it, and working out became a really big part of my life.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope I don't think so!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit? I stayed in the US the whole year... but I think that's gonna change in 2020!

6. What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019? Complete personal and financial independence, and a fresh start. And it's going to happen! I'm starting my first real job in June, and I'm moving into NYC. I'm graduating college too. It's gonna be a big year for me.

7. What date from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 24, the day I got into a relationship with my current boyfriend.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Getting a solid full-time Equity Research analyst position in NYC for after graduation.

9. What was your biggest failure? I tried to stay single. I really did. I wasn't necessarily happier when I was single, but my head was clearer and I was always on top of my shit. But I couldn't stay truly single in 2019 for more than a month or more without being dragged into some stupid situationship with a guy that ended up expiring after 2 months. At the end of 2019, I ended up getting into a real relationship. I feel like I've spent a lot more of my young adult life in relationships or situationships rather than by myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I didn't actually!

11. What was the best thing you bought? This personal barbell pad. It makes hip thrusts and squats so much easier. I also got a couple hip circles for glute activation exercises. They changed my glute training because I finally started feeling exercises in my glutes... they're the reason I have a butt now!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? This is gonna sound conceited but... mine? My world-famous Career Anxiety got me a full-time job in the first month of my senior year. Plus I absolutely killed it at my last internship and I learned a ton.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My sister's on-again-off-again boyfriend... he's awful. The administration of the student organization I had to quit. The boy I dated during the entirety of Summer 2019 -- he sucked.

14. Where did most of your money go? Starbucks and Amazon hehe

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? A couple things: Finally making progress at the gym and seeing my body change Doing a good job on my final presentation during my internship That one time I went out with my intern friends and got shitfaced and had probably the most fun I had in all of 2019 Getting into a relationship with my current boyfriend; I didn't think it would end up being a real relationship. Getting my full-time job offer in NYC (by far the most exciting)

16. What song will always remind you of 2019? Evelyn by Kim Tillman! It's my theme song and I discovered it in 2019.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. ii. thinner or fatter? I would say bulkier. I look bigger, but I turned a lot of the "skinny fat" I had on me into muscle. iii. richer or poorer? Much richer for sure!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? LOL towards the end of 2019, I kinda let my grades fall by the wayside because I thought I had it all figured out. I wish I studied more at the end because I could've preserved my GPA and saved myself a lot of needless studying. This is out of my control but -- I wish I had a chance to drink and party more. 2019 was an almost entirely sober year... I only got really drunk once in the entire year. I think that actually contributed to how dry and sad I was for most of the year!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Listening to Ariana Grande LOL. This one is also out of my control -- I wish I spent less time alone. I spent the majority of last year sitting in my apartments at school and talking to my voice diary and trying to make sense of my personality and the reasons why I was alone. I did eventually become content with my alone time, but I wasn't really happy. I wish I had a more active social life. I also wish I spent less time with that boy over the summer. He was a waste of time.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I was at home for winter break on Christmas. I don't think I really did anything!

21. Did you fall in love in 2019? Yes! I fell in love with my current boyfriend. I also thought I loved the summer guy, but I really didn't.

22. What was the best holiday this year? Halloween! I think I had the most fun that day out of all the other holidays.

23. How many one-night stands? I don't think I had any one night stands this year! That was all 2018 me.

24. What was your favorite TV program? I don't know actually. I don't think I watched that much TV in 2019. I just binged the Good Place though, but idt that was my favorite.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My apartment-mate (not my roommate, she's great). I also hate her ex boyfriend. I also hate this toxic horrible friend I used to have. I cut her out in 2019.

26. What was the best book you read? LOL the only book I read was Tina Fey's autobiography. It was pretty good!

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Again, Evelyn by Kim Tillman.

28. What did you want and get? A job. And Gymshark clothes from my parents!

29. What did you want and not get? Honestly, fun memories and a social life. Also this one first-year teaching position at my university.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Joker! (Unpopular opinion, but it's the truth!)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? At midnight on my birthday, I was having really good sex. Then I went into work and had a pretty productive day! Then at night, I had sushi with my sister.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying? If my boyfriend had gotten into nursing school. It would've been perfect. But now he has a new career and new aspirations to work towards. Maybe it's for the best and maybe he'll be happier! We'll see.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019? I mean, I spent most of the year in sweatpants. I moved away from the bold makeup and the fashion choices I made in the past. But I did start buying a lot of athletic gym leggings and sports bras! My favorite Look TM of this year is my staple matching sports bra and leggings set that I wear to the gym.

34. What kept you sane? The gym, definitely. And my mom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Ariana Grande apparently LOL. Also Hanna Oberg!

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Trump's impeachment. But I think that stirred everyone. (I mean it in a good way, I'm glad Trump was impeached.)

37. Who did you miss? My ex boyfriend for a brief time. I still wasn't over him in the beginning of last year. I also missed all the friends I lost. I hated them and they sucked, but at least they kept me company.

38. Who was the best new person you met? My boyfriend!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019: I'll tell you a couple: - Anyone can be anything. Barriers to entry are minimal, and you can end up doing something you never thought you would. - You can tell yourself you're going to go out and chase your dreams, and you can tell yourself you're running away from a stable and boring life. But you have to truly want it and believe in it for it to happen. If you don't dedicate yourself 100% to that crazy dream inside and out, you will end up opting for the backup plan. - You are your best when you're making first impressions. - Just because you're not strong enough to follow your dreams doesn't mean you should discourage other people from doing what they want to do with their life (as long as it's within reason). If someone you love is willing to put in the effort to chase a dream they believe is worth it, you should support them, even if it seems risky. Try to minimize the risk, but don't knock down the plan altogether.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Every blue moon I get convinced that I can't ever make it happen by myself. I've been awake to see the day devour the night. I've seen decay give way to growth and make the most of nearly nothing, Till human voices break us and we drown, we drown, Seductive and impeccable abuse. You do it to yourself, I bet you know you do. I love you 'cause I do it to you too.

#2020 survey #survey

1 note · View note

nikatyler · 5 years

Photo

Oh hey, long time no replies. And these are the first ones of this year. I have a hard time replying now. It’s not like I don’t have time - I’m doing okay, actually. I mean, I wouldn’t complain if there was less homework, but still. Free time exists. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to replying to either comments or messages...I replied to asks quite quickly though, which is something unusual for me. Usually that’s where I’m slowest. I don’t know, is this another weird anxiety thing? Like I know I can reply, but I just...don’t?

Anyway...let’s get that done now I guess. There’s a lot of these, apologies if something got lost. Maybe it’s my fault, maybe it’s not, all I know is that sometimes my activity feed doesn’t show me everything.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Vlad the fashion icon strikes again.”

he's rocking that goth TM look lmao

I mean yeah.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “This brings back memories. Maybe he’s not evil, he just wants some...”

he's vv nice to his friends..... the problem is becoming his friend ��

I was going to reply with “if this ain’t me” but...actually once I get comfortable around people, irl especially, I’m awful to them D: (I can quite easily turn into the sarcastic asshole friend and no one believes me until I unleash it lmao) But anyway yeah I kinda can see Vlad to be that way, now that you mention it

#JusticeForVlad2k19

justkeeponsimming replied to your photo “End of the Year Tag 2 This time I was tagged by @justkeeponsimming....”

Ronnieeee!!! Your sims are SO gorgeous! Love love love this!

Aaaaah thank you so much! ♥

dandylion240 replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

When Ross and Caleb finally got together. I'm still hoping Caleb changes his mind and turns Ross.

If I had replied to this a week earlier, I could’ve used my favourite eye emoji. Oh well. Yeah, it’s good he changed his mind, isn’t it? :D I couldn’t stand the idea of separating them.

jackssims replied to your photo “I tweeted this last night but I want to share it here as well because...”

The birth of Miracle! Caleb, Ross, and Sunset! The high school story and when Miracle and Adam got together as well!

ghkjahfljhk lately (I mean for the past few months) I’ve been really disliking Miracle and Adam’s storyline but for some reason when people mention it, they always say they liked it, so I guess I didn’t do that bad of a job?

Same with the good old Zoey storyline. Everyone who has ever talked to me about it said they liked it and thought it was interesting, but I’m over here like “gjkfjgfjhg don’t mention that mess to me ever again”.

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset spent the New Year’s Eve by playing sims. This is very...”

I'M LITERALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW

I feel personally attacked

It’s fine, we’ve all been there :D

I think I played sims too this year. Well, first we played some board games with my parents, then there was midnight, I cried, went to see the fireworks (while finishing a bottle of wine but I swear I wasn’t drunk)...oooh and then I watched a stream and edited my sims screenshots! Okay so I didn’t actually play but I edited the pics and like...these are still fun new year’s eve plans, am I right?

melien replied to your photoset “Dawn came over and the two spent hours talking about space.”

I love their outfits! Totally would wear something like this

I like Sunset’s style especially. Well, sometimes she wears clothes I wouldn’t, but for most of the time, it’s just comfy fun stuff I wish I had. Especially considering my dark phase is over and colours are slowly coming back to my closet :D

melien replied to your post “I have some random sims I could share. Anyone interested?”

Ohhhh... on one hand I'd always want sims from you but on the other hand I fear I won't do them justice because idk where to use them rn. Dilemma

pls ask

I’m always down for creating sims for mutuals and friends (I just never talk about it), so just let me know when you want one. Also, I’m sure you would do them justice. I’m really not afraid you would fail there. You know I love everything you do, so... :D

melien replied to your photoset “This guy ♥”

Ending 2018 on a high note

The best note possible

simtress replied to your photoset “Caleb: Isn’t it sad that there are so many ways a vampire can live a...”

i love the name caleb...♥

Me too! I’ve liked it since the first time I had seen it in an English textbook years ago.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Oh god please tell me I didn’t accidentally have risky woohoo on or...”

It'd be fun to see what their kid would look like.

I agree and I’m surprised I’ve never played with their genetics. smh ron

cafeheart replied to your photo

okay he's hot but this also makes me uncomfy for some reason asfdlkjaj put him back

jackssims replied to your photo

I agree he’s got a hot vibe going, but this just feels wrong tbajfnakcn

It is kinda weird, I’ll admit that (but “reimagining” him was fun). It’s like...taking away Caleb Vatore’s weird emo hair. I admit I’ve done that once but it was just to mock myself anyway. I wouldn’t do it “for real”. Emo hair must stay. Yes it’s dumb, but also, it’s iconic. we stan dumb hair

I’d say this is something similar. I don’t want to say anything about Ross is iconic, but...you get my point, right?

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Okay, I don’t like this. I have a theory.” Caleb: “I know what...”

👀

The funny thing here is, when I was writing this dialogue, I had no idea what was going to happen later.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I don’t…I don’t ever want this to end.” Ross: “You’re the only...”

Way to dodge that, Caleb

Oh yeah. He’s good at that

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Sunset: I know I said I’d work out today but I really don’t want to…oh...”

mood

An everyday one

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Sim Download: Cara Meadows she/her, bisexual Another one. I imagine...”

ahh she's cute! might have to nab her for my private save ;)

Yay, I’m so happy to hear that! :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Everything about this picture is a big mood. You may tag yourself now.”

Tbh I’m both Caleb and Sunset

Relatable

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Relationships and love aren’t really for me, but attending...”

Ironically her name is ValentineXD

Yup. Exactly. I bet it must be annoying for a person who couldn’t care less about getting into a relationship.

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Sunset wasn’t born to follow the crowd.”

Seriously!?!? I would never know THEY can use an umbrellas clever way! LOL

Lol they sometimes open it inside. Doesn’t seem clever to me :D But yeah, I didn’t expect them to sit down like this.

solarmoodlet replied to your photo “Sim Download: Enric Noel he/him, gay Sometimes a miracle happens and I...”

hes so cute. added him to my save. Tyvm!

Ahhh thank youuu!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I join you with the last point�� I kinda defeated social anxiety irl but the online anxiety stays. And they say shy people can communicate better online!

melien replied to your post “Simblr 2019 Goals”

I third the online anxiety, glad to know I'm not alone

I wish I could say I defeated it irl as well...things got better (mainly because I just had to get used to it and grow a thicker skin) but I’m still an anxious trainwreck 99 % of the time :D It’s the same online.

Also, instead of actually starting a conversation with people, I’m always like “oh you know, if you feel like talking to me, just send me a message, I don’t bite” but the problem is I know there’s a lot of us like that here and I’m not the only one with this fear of communication so maybe I should be the one to find the courage once

Wow that didn’t make sense but I think that only proves my point that I’m an anxious trainwreck :D

penelope-and-wonders replied to your photoset “You can put the umbrellas away, guys.”

What fun would that be? ��

Oh right, I can’t have a normal wedding :D It’s a universal rule that I should finally accept. Something would be wrong if everything went right for once.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Leigh Smith she/her, pansexual A long long time ago I...”

Omg, I looove her! ❤️❤️

Thank youuu ♥

green-productivitea replied to your photoset “Sunset: “What can I say? Freaking finally. Took you long enough to...”

The fact that she call him dad :O

Yep, she did. I love the relationship these two have.

yamekamerainbows27 replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Damn Sunset! You tell her girl ��

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re the woman that said she didn’t want a child, and you...”

Go Sunset!

That’s what she deserves

sparkiemonkey replied to your photoset “I mean, Sunset was right. Dawn is adorable.”

she is totally adorable

Up until now I was always saying that this legacy has some Good Genes, now with Dawn it will be more like Cute Genes.

unstablesims replied to your photoset “Marcella: “What are you two doing?” Sunset: “Watching the clouds!...”

let them be dorks in peace!! lmao

Exactly!! No reasons to judge

cafeheart replied to your photoset “I would lie if I said I saw this coming.”

yknow if someone didnt have context for your legacy this kinda looks like caleb is murdering ross asdkfbbd

omg you’re right and I hate that you are right

vampcatsims replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

noooo he's going to leave him at the altar god this is going to hurt so much

omg wow this is where scrolling down and reading new ones before old ones causes reaction mistakes cuz omg this is for realsies isn't it?

kyveria replied to your photoset “Ross: “We’ve taken many risks already and now I’m taking another one,...”

@vampcatsims don’t worry, ross has already had someone leave him at the altar so Caleb is going to stay ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Haha yeah, they’re going to be fine. I think. Can’t promise anything.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “I…how can I say no to this? Yes, Ross. Yes, I will.” Ross:...”

Good! I was scared he was going to say no for a second ��

Imagine if he left him and I’d introduce a new spouse now. Or bring back Jordan. Or Marika.

Omg imagine I’d bring her back and she’d get her “happy little family” she claims she wishes for now.

myopiccc replied to your post “ - fave types of movies?”

Such a tense era! I'm a historic nerd too:)

Yeah, I love it! I mean, I don’t actually love it, there were some bad things happening, no freedom of speech and such, but for me, it’s an interesting era to learn about. I also think it’s important to know about these times because in a way, they’re still so similar to where we are now, we really should look back at them and try to not make the same mistakes...sadly, when I look at the situation in my country...sometimes it feels like people forget. Not just people like me who didn’t experience it and have only learned about it in History classes...feels like even people who have been there forget and it’s sad and frustrating and I wish I could do something about it. Okay rant over.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “Tell me honestly. Did you expect me to change my mind with...”

Nice! But I swear if this somehow backfires and Ross ends up dying...

👀

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

Ross you better not have died!!

jackssims replied to your photoset “This doesn’t even need a caption.”

/ROSS/

ajkfaglafkghlahgfk I didn’t realize this would seem like he’s dying I’m sorry for causing panic fjaklflk

I just thought it was funny he set himself on fire and Caleb is over there like “nooo I agreed to marry this freak I have made a grave mistake”

princessdejamars replied to your photoset “Ummmm”

oh no not again

Yes. Yes again. And yeah, I could’ve left without saving. I didn’t. I was shocked when it happened and once I realized he’s pregnant again...you should’ve heard my hysterical laughter. Something is wrong with me and I don’t like it.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Dawn: “Not a chance.”

sunset looks scared shitless asdkfjdbdb

"fhlakhfalklahkjjkij she’s kissing me I wasn’t prepared for this what do I do jgljfkjhlaafkgl”

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: Nothing happened…I’m fine…I’m just gonna give this dog a bath...”

That's totally not going to lead to more problems later, Caleb, if anything *did* happen (/sarcasm)

Yup. It’s totally okay to do that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Oh fuck

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “oh shit”

wow

this is wild haha

Basically my reaction

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Dad, you’re home alone?” Caleb: “I think so.” Stella: “Aw,...”

jlkfdzsjlkfadg She's pregnant, he's pregnant, truly amazing

ikr

That’s a twist I truly didn’t expect at the end of this generation. Not that I’m complaining

jackssims replied to your photoset “Stella: “Anything else?” Caleb: “What? Is there supposed to be...”

/Caleb/

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “And that’s not all…” Ross: “Huh?” Caleb: “Nothing. Forget it.”

//Caleb//

See Ross and Caleb were made for each other because they both have a hard time learning from their mistakes lol

dandylion240 replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

There's a way to bend the rules. Since Ross will become a vampire. He and Caleb have forever to have a child together. So once Sunset takes over as heir I say anything goes for Ross after that �� but that's just me lol

Ooh, technically that could work! I didn’t even think about that. Good point. I don’t think they’ll have children together but I really do like this idea.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Is there anything you would like to tell me?” Caleb: “I was...”

Good! Caleb got the courage to tell Ross

I mean he didn’t really have another option at this point

jackssims replied to your photoset “Caleb: “You’re not going to leave me now, are you?” Ross: “I’m...”

Wholesome Ross (he’s really come full circle tbh)

I kept saying he would get better and no one believed me. There you have it guys, he’s a changed person. Character development! :D

simtress replied to your photo “™¥ â™¥”

*eeps! she's too cute1

ikr, I miss her ;-;

melien replied to your photoset “Stella: I can’t believe it’s actually raining on my wedding day. We...”

It's a free riiiiide when you've already paid

Is this a reference I am supposed to get

Because I’m dumb and don’t get it lmao

melien replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Say cheese hair!”

So don't ask how I remember it because I'm probably too invested lol but your theme with red hair/blonde(yellow) hair in gen 3 of every legacy? It continues

Omg I didn’t even realize! Sebastian and Lynn started it obviously, then in my Raven Legacy it was a little “easter egg” but this time, it’s a coincidence (a nice coincidence). I guess I just can’t have too many redheads!

melien replied to your photoset “oh shit”

The ultimate plot twist

The plot twist I normally would’ve welcomed but this time, I actually felt sorry for him. He didn’t deserve it the first time (aka the time I was petty and did it on purpose) and he didn’t deserve it this time either. But still. Aliens. I can’t just quit the game without saving when it has to do something with them, can I?

melien replied to your post “I WAS HOPING HE WAS PREGNANT WITH HIS FIANCE'S BABY NOT GETTING...”

Maybe babies for them perhaps?

Y’all really want them to have kids huh

melien replied to your photoset “Nooooo Rocket :( He’s old now!”

Can Caleb also turn Rocket? Vampire doggo would be fun

Man I’d love if that was possible (even though...I just imagined him biting the poor dog and that’s kinda weird). Buuuut...there’s something else that I did and it’s almost as good.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Sim Download: Minako Ito she/her, lesbian Traits: Good, Loner,...”

All of the Sims you put for download are so pretty! I'm grabbing them all!

Thank you so much ;-;

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “i was enchanted to meet you”

Aaahh nostalgia!

I knoooow ;-; I love them and I miss them and I want to play with them again

I mean I could, first I’d just have to finish the high school story and that’s...highly unlikely lol

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “oh shit”

Aliens are in love with him that's true

New otp: Caleb/Aliens. Oh that's weird

They have a weird thing for Calebs

If you guys know a Caleb irl protect them

If you are a Caleb, well...I’m sorry

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Rocket: Hey I’m old, just thought you should know…oh nevermind what...”

This is somehow sad=((

Yeah. I love this little dog so much :(

#replies #unstablesims #justkeeponsimming #dandylion240 #jackssims #melien #simtress #cafeheart #alfalfalegacy #myopiccc #solarmoodlet #tiny-tany-thaanos #penelope-and-wonders #green-productivitea #yamekamerainbows27 #sparkiemonkey #vampcatsims #kyveria #princessdejamars

16 notes · View notes

alterlifes-a · 6 years

Text

tag muns you want to know better; repost - don’t reblog.

What inspired you to try/create that muse/s: well , if you’ve been with me long enough then you know that tooru started out as an AU ! o.ikawa t.ooru, where instead of attending s.eijou , he went to s.hiratorizawa ! to be honest , i kind of just wanted to try my hand at writing that kind of thing ? it was the very first time i had made a tumblr rp blog , so i had no idea that people rp different verses of the same character on one blog !! i originally rp’d on deviantart , and it was very commonplace to have different blogs for different verses ... i had over 70 rp blogs on there and most of them were literally the same 2 characters but in different AUs LMAO ... so imagine my surprise when i saw people rp’ing different AUs on one blog ... RP’ing multiple muses on one blog ... !! but i kinda just stayed with my iteration instead of playing canon ! kawa anyway , since i didn’t really see the point in starting over . as tooru developed more , though , i began to use him as a venting tool because this was a part of my life where i was really depressed . but as time grew on and i eventually made him into an OC , he became a much happier character . he really is my best friend ; he’s been there for me through it all , and even though he’s just fictional , i really owe him a lot for helping me out during rough times .

What is inspiration for that muse/s: well , currently , a lot of things ... lots of music , japanese culture + religion , and also my own experiences . in general , i have a p.interest board for him , so ... maybe you could say i draw inspiration from that , too ! i also rly enjoy the band MILI . their songs really fit tooru , like ‘ bathtub mermaid ’ . i’ve also been listening to hello , again and am planning on drawing something based on it for him ( + the song’s prequel , “ goodbye ” ) . i mainly tend to daydream while listening to songs , so ... yeah . as for characters who serve as inspiration for tooru ... well , i think that’s an artist meme , so i might just fill it in in lieu of answering this properly lol ... but two i can think of off the top of my head are leon from f.ire e.mblem e.choes and n.eferpitou from h.xh !

Thread/AU that made you really happy: B.NHA AU ... !! i’m hyperfixating sm on that one ... idk , a lot of planning and plotting goes into it , esp since a lot of my mutuals are in the fandom . in particular , i love love love the story i’ve created with @noquirk . i literally cannot envision a more perfect plot for tooru in this verse . heck , it’s literally my main go - to timeline when i draw / write for it . tooru is , quite literally , not very much in this AU without deck .

Something really special on your wishlist: sh ... more ships ... ships to draw and animate and make animatics to ... also i need to get my butt into gear and finish my JRPG AU group lol .

Something you are looking for in short future for your muse: blease tooru help me get thru the school year ... also i have some animatics in the back burner so i’m looking forward to getting those done !

Share something related to your muse!: his canon story , in parallel motion , deals with existentialism and alternate universes . ultimately , it’s a story that serves as a physical manifestation of my own struggle with depression , and while it’s sombre in tone , i want it to tell whoever’s reading it , “ you matter . ” it’s why tooru is placed into so many marginalized groups ; he’s fat and trans and biracial and bi and suffers from bpd + depression + anxiety but he’s a good person through it all ... his story is tragic because he’s not allowed to exist and will be forgotten when he dies , but his existence impacts so many other characters’ lives ... it’s a butterfly effect kind of thing . because you exist , you’ve made so many peoples’ lives better . and i understand it’s rough and i understand depression + sucky real life aspects try to convince you otherwise , but just ... think about it . there’s an alternate universe where , because you don’t exist , something huge was probably impacted . and even on a smaller , more intimate scale --- if you hadn’t existed in another life , then one of your friends might not be here . they might not be as happy as they are now , because you make them happy . life can be awful . but it’s wonderful and beautiful , too . that’s what i want tooru to be to others . someone to look up to and relate to , and someone who tells you , “ it’s okay ! ”

What do you think about character’s design/how do you came up with this: he’s ... kinda generic LOL mainly cause he’s based off of o.ikawa looks - wise due to his origin ... but part of his looks also derivate from an old ask blog muse i had :

i just really like that bangs - over - one - eye hairstyle ngl ... also i have no idea how / when his hair became maroon - brown since o.ikawa’s hair is chestnut brown , but ... yeah . also have no idea when he gained red eyes HDKJSFS,,,, i find fangs appealing on a character though , so that’s why he has fangs and does the :3c ... honestly i think i kinda just slapped together what i like in a design and put it on him , so even though he may look like an NPC ( lol ) , he’s still appealing in my eyes .

What your muse taught you: how to love being alive ... ( i’ve actually written an essay for a class about how he’s helped me through depression haha ... he means a lot to me , can you tell ? )

What is roleplay for you: all of you are awful and yet here i am anyway so really this says more about me than anything else .

Just say something nice about other mun!: @onfaith you are my ANGEL you mean sm to me and i wish u all the best with your studies / @tikkvn i love u sm cass ur an amazing person n a wonderful existence never forget that / @juuheart notay is my fave bleach chara also ur art is so cute / @wuvlite if i die all my money goes to u so u can keep drawing holy SHIZ ur art is #inspiration / @queznak ur very interesting and charismatic as a person !!! / @uzvisen idk how to spell ur url this took me 3 tries but also ilysm / @conhnhaketon i also cant spell ur url but i hope ur doing well n ur eid was good , ik we’ve both been busy but i would live for u / @quirkthief ur one of my fave ppl i will forever tag u in shibes also i’ve supported u in u saying afo was hot even when he looked ugly n now i get to watch everyone who made fun of u writhe bc he is rly rly hot hahaha / @noquirk you’re so talented pls never stop what ur doing / @aerve you’re rly cool !!! 100% support u in everything u do ! >:0 / @starbooms aries ur so creative ugh ... ur mind !!!!!! ik we don’t talk much but ur v fun / @bendsair i forget what other blogs ur on but chris ur the coolest #TalkRomania2Me / @creatied we don’t talk much either but ur graphics r so aesthetically appealing wowzers !! / @daimnas i’m wuv you amari !! also my french sucks but uhhh comment ca va ( i’m too lazy to find the accented ‘c’ dsfhi ) ?? / @soarsun i’ve only known u for a few weeks but if anything happened to u i would kill everyone on this website n then myself / @quirkgifter nanners is the coolest n nana is the best grandma in town / @natsutodoroki im so jealous u got a canon url as ur rp url LMAO but also ur rly cool n fun even tho we dont talk too frequently ! / @lechors LINNEA I WILL DIE FOR U RIGHT HERE RIGHT N--- / @ YOU READING THIS BC I’M ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP : YOU’RE AWESOME AND GREAT !

Tagged by: stole it from @queznak Tagging: whomstever

#no formatting im heading 2 bed bye bye shkfjs #long post /#long post #meme .#what’s up —– i’m ru ‚ i’m 19 ‚ and i never h*ckin’ learned how to read . / ooc.

18 notes · View notes

rynne311 · 6 years

Text

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

Tagged by @an-all-write-life, thank you lovely!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I think I may have answered this one before, but basically no.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1, maybe 1.5. I really don’t mind the dark, but sometimes it’s the unexplained sounds that will get me.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

I don’t know if any of you watched Community, but Troy loved LeVar Burton, he was his favorite celebrity. Even though Troy loved LeVar Burton, the most he ever wanted was a picture/autograph, he explicitly told Pierce that he never wanted to meet him. When Pierce brought LeVar Burton in as a way to mess with Troy, he was completely starstruck and could not speak, he just sat there wide eyed and terrified of disappointing his hero, until he ran away from dinner screaming. Long story short, any sort of media hero I have I wouldn’t want to meet because I’d probably make Troy look like a normal person with how starstruck I got.

4. What is your favorite word?

Oh boy, this is a lot of pressure! I don’t want to offend all the other words. I’ll go with onomatopoeia because it’s kind of fun!

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

An oak, I guess. They look pretty as they change, and dropping the acorns can cause mild annoyance, which I seem to be able to do pretty easily for the friends and family around me.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Why does it have to be Monday??(I answered this when I started working on these yesterday)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

Simple pink and gray stripes.

8. What do you label yourself as?

Nerd

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark, it just feels kind of relaxing and like it’s time to unwind.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping - I’m kind of boring and go to bed by 10:30 (usually earlier) every night, so I’m definitely dead asleep at midnight.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

I actually really enjoyed ages 18-20, and 23 was pretty good too. I’m sure I’ll hit a good stride of ages again, but until I hit that sweet spot, I’m just going to roll with it and have the most fun I can.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Umm, probably my friend Alex telling me she loves me more after I had sent her a second reminder in a night that I love her. Or my mom.

13. Your worst enemy?

Honestly, I’m probably my own worst enemy.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s the generic blue design that came with the laptop

15. Do you like someone?

In any way other than platonically, no not right now.

16. The last song you listened to?

Either “Rich” by Maren Morris or “Hotel Key” by Old Dominion on my way into work.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

If I dislike someone that much, shouldn’t they just be left to suffer...like forever.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

It would be too easy to say some of those politicians that I think are awful and spewing hate, but that’s probably who I’d want to hit the most. But then I’m putting hate and violence out there and I aspire to be better than those I wish to punch in the face.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Yeah, people shouldn’t own people. What I would be more interested

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

Probably my eyes or smile.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

Umm, I sure hope that would mean I would be tall! At least considerably taller than 5’2” and then I’d go and reach stuff on the top shelf...without a step-stool.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

If I do, it’s news to me.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

My fears are pretty run of the mill.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

I might just be pretty boring and say a really good grilled cheese with like a good kind of cheese like pepperjack or something.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

If only that would cover all my loans! I’d probably treat myself to something like a new pair of heels or just save it for a bit and maybe put it towards Christmas presents.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Probably back to Spain. I loved the four months I lived in Salamanca and want to go back! Also, my host family was amazing, and I’d love to visit them again.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I’d probably get some Barefoot Pink Bubbly, but I’d be a little suspicious of some greater ulterior motive.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Everybody has to be left-handed lol, actually establishing some sort of guidance for rights and behavior, making sure that all groups are treated equally and fairly.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Shit. As much as I curse in real life, I try to avoid it in my writing, instead opting to find other words to express the sentiment, although that isn’t always possible.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

Probably one of my mom’s jewelry or memory boxes that has mementos from my late grandma in them. It would mean the world to her and I was close with my grandma too, so I’d still be able to preserve a piece of her.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

As much as I’d love to erase any bouts of poor mental health I’ve had in the past, I’ve learned from them and without that experience, I wouldn’t be prepared to tackle my next big challenge whatever it may be.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Just like in question 26, I’d probably move to Spain!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

As much as I would love to bring my godfather back, it wouldn’t be fair to take him from the afterlife, or to put his wife, kids and the rest of us who love him through that pain again. If I could open some sort of communication between this life and the next, I would absolutely offer it to him. At least being able to communicate would probably be able to heal some wounds for a lot of us here, and I’d love for his 10 year old son to get to know him outside of the stories he hears from me and the rest of his family.

34. What was your last dream about?

Selling houses and moving...just all around kind of odd.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? - Are you a good listener?

I’d like to think I am, yes. Recently at my weekend job, I was clocking out for the day and finished one of my purchases and the woman in front of me had a bag that was just a little too heavy for her to carry, so I brought her bag out to the car for her. I ended up spending another 20 minutes out there with her talking, well she was doing most of the talking, and before we went separate ways she kept thanking me for listening to her. So if that is any indication, yes I am a good listener, also it broke my heart that she felt the need to thank me for listening to her because it tells me that she really isn’t getting much of that in her life.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

I’ve been to the emergency room twice, but never admitted to the actual hospital. And both of those visits were within three days.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Grew up in New England, it’s kind of a mandatory part of childhood here.

38. What is the color of your socks?

Gray and teal

39. What type of music do you like?

Country, plus some pop and rock

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

I’m rarely up for sunrises, but when I was in college, I was pulling an all nighter in our computer/printer room and I got the most spectacular view of the sun rising over the mountains in Vermont. It made up for the severe lack of sleep I was experiencing.

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

I don’t sport. As far as American football goes, I suppose the NY Giants, but in reality it’s more of anyone who isn’t the Patriots.

43. Do you have any scars?

A few on my arms from stupid stuff while growing up, like fighting with my sister.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

I graduated from college 3 years ago and still don’t know. Maybe to know and be happy and secure.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Physically - the list is kind of long and pretty personal. Otherwise, I’d get rid of those nasty things like my anxiety and depression.

46. Are you reliable?

Almost to a fault where some people have tried to take advantage of it so they could slack off.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Have you found the happy path you want to be on?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Yes, but it’s something I’ve been trying to work on. I’ll stop and think what did this event/person impact my life and is it still important? That’s been pretty helpful for letting things go. I doubt I’ll ever be able to move on from things immediately, but being able to step away after I’ve had some time and choose forgiveness really does help.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

CatDog

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

Probably once when talking about childhoods and one girl brought up how she got sent to water therapy because she would insist that she was a mermaid and didn’t have legs to walk. If I remember correctly, they thought this was her way of manifesting her fear of water, but really with her red hair, she just wanted to be Ariel from Little Mermaid. It was definitely a wild ride of a conversation.

51. Are you a good liar?

Yes and no. I’ve got some tells, but over the past few years, I’ve gotten much better at hiding them.

52. How long could you go without talking?

If I’m not talking because I’m mad, at least a few days. I love talking, so if there isn’t much of a reason to be silent, I’m probably going to be talking. There have been a few times I’ve been home alone and will just begin talking to the dogs or the cat as I’m going about my business.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

As much as I like them every time I get them, bangs! Within a few months I’m done with wanting to deal with the maintenance and they never looks as good as when I first get them done. Some folks look absolutely amazing with bangs, but as a long term thing, they are just not for me.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Yes! I love to bake.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

A little bit. With practice I can start to imitate other regions of the US and with enough drinks, I’ve tried an Irish accent.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter with a bit of cinnamon sugar.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

If painting counts, and I’m going to say it does for this, then a nice riverbank landscape I did at a paint and wine studio near me.

58. What would be you dream car?

Jeep Wrangler - like Lorelai’s in Gilmore Girls

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

Not really, I’m mostly focused on getting what I need to done and getting out. I might go through an argument in the shower while I’m washing my hair, but that’s about it.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I guess so, but that’s more of the universe is so expansive and I think it’s a little narcissistic to think that we are the only ones occupying it. Besides, if there are no aliens, how will Superman exist to come and save us some day??

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

I don’t, and most of the reason is I don’t believe in them. It’ll pop up in other stuff I’ll be reading, but it always frustrates me that pisces are put at the end of the list so I don’t even try.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

R! Yes, it is my initial, but I also like doing the sign for it in my sign language class. The sign is like you’re crossing your fingers, so it’s like R has some mystery and is keeping a secret.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies?

They are really cute and I like getting to spend some time with them. It can be really fun to watch someone experience so many things for the first time, especially things we take for granted.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. - Worst movie you’ve ever watched?

Leprechaun in the Hood without a doubt!

I’ll tag anyone else who wants to do this! :)

#tagged #tag game

3 notes · View notes

sp00kymulderr · 6 years

Note

dO THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL /EVIL LAUGH (??)/ uhm from the "let's talk about" post úwù 💗 I'm sorry I'm making you write so much but i really wanna know!!! ILYSM

ANYTHING FOR YOOOU!

There is a lot here, I’m apparently feeling very chatty tonight so sorry about some of the long ramble-y answers again:

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.

Itwas 2005, and 15 year old me had dragged my dad and brother to thecinema to see a movie that looked really interesting to me – itfeatured several badass women in the main cast at a time when Iwasn’t seeing much with actually strong, well written femalecharacters in. So I had to see this, and it was sci-fi which my wholefamily enjoys, so off we went to watch it. At the beginning, therewas a filmed intro of Joss Whedon talking about the movie and aboutthe TV series it came from, which I knew nothing about and thatworried me. But then the film started and I swear my heart stoppedfor a moment, I fell so deeply in love with the setting, thecharacters, the cast. The film was Serenity, and it started a lot forme

2: Talk about your first kiss.

Myfirst kiss wasn’t special like I wish it had been. I was about 14and it was with my best friend at the time, a guy who I had nofeelings towards whatsoever. I regret the kiss a lot, and the kissesthat followed. I wish I hadn’t felt pressured in to it the way Idid.

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.

Idon’t really get intense feelings for people that often, especiallynot now I’m older. There was a guy when I was in secondary schoolthough, who I genuinely thought I loved (I didn’t). It was veryunrequited and took over my life for too long, and was a catalyst tothe depression I later suffered with.

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.

Partof me regrets going to uni, but then I think about all theexperiences I had at uni and I would never have had those, or madethose friends, or enjoyed myself that much anywhere else. I can’tthink of much that I really really regret, I tend to think thingsthrough a lot before I do them.

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.

Iam the queen of good birthdays, istg! I ALWAYS go on holiday for mybirthday, have ever since I was young, so I have so many good ones.But I think it has to be between going to New York for my 21stor Berlin for my 23rd (my favourite place in the wholeworld), or this past birthday which I spent on my own in New Zealandand got to go to Hobbiton for the first time!

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.

Ihave genuinely not had a bad birthday yet. This year would’ve beensad if I hadn’t gone to Hobbiton, as I was completely on my own forthe first birthday ever.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.

I’ma total mess of insecurities tbh. I wouldn’t know where to start.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.

In2012, when I left uni and moved to London on my own, I started a blogcalled The Theatre Tourist where I wrote about two of my biggestpassions; theatre and travel. A year after I started it, I got myfirst invite to review a theatre production which I accepted havingnever written a review. Once I wrote it, I knew this was what Iwanted to be doing, I fell completely in love with it. And to thisday I still run that blog, I have a fair few readers and connectionswith theatre PR’S all around the world. Currently I’m writing atleast a review a month for New Zealand theatre but when I was back inLondon I was being invited to at least 4 a week every week. I am soproud of that blog.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.

Mytattoos. They make me feel better about myself because I find thembeautiful and they mean a lot to me.

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.

Thatbest friend I mentioned earlier. He accused me of all sorts andcaused so much stupid drama in my life. We had a massive argument inthe hallway at school once, I ended up in tears in the bathroom andwe stopped talking to each other. He was a massive fucking jerk andI’m glad he’s not in my life any more.

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.

Ihad a lot of great dreams just before I moved to New Zealand, aboutwhat a great time I was going to have out here, and they havedefinitely come true

12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.

Istress dream quite a lot, the most recent one was losing my family ina natural disaster and it was awful.

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.

Iwaited quite a while, so I was 18 when I lost it. It wasn’t perfectbut it was nice and with someone I liked at the time. It was, however, in a single bed which was AWFUL god. But other than that, there’s not much to talk about.

14: Talk about a vacation.

Whichone to choose though??? I love travelling and have been so lucky totravel a lot, I studied tourism and it’s always been a huge part ofmy life. That’s why I’m out here on this beautiful island in themiddle of nowhere right now.

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.

Idon’t feel content a lot, but my first and subsequent 6 visits toBerlin have been the best I’ve ever felt in my whole life. Berlinis the one place I feel completely at home and know I belong.

16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

Idon’t go to a lot of parties! And the ones I went to when I wasyounger, I don’t remember a lot of them… I went to a really funfoam party in my first year of uni that I always remember fondly iffuzzily.

18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.

Whichone is elementary? Primary I think? Jesus, who remembers primaryschool? I don’t think much exciting happened when I was that young!

19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.

Waitwhat’s middle school if the next question is high school? Do theyhave a school between primary and secondary in America? I’mCONFUSED

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.

Ohall sorts of shit.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.

Therewas this guy in college who I became pretty close friends with thenlater told me he really liked me. He was sweet but so not my type soI just said no and then he never spoke to me again lol

22: Talk about your worst fear.

Interms of an actual phobia, I’m really afraid of dogs. Which ispretty inconvenient, they make me panic.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.

Ugh,I got drunk at a work party and asked out a guy from IT I had beeneyeing up and he turned me down which is fair enough I was a messback then. But then I had to see him at work all the time and it wasso embarrassing for me.

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.

Justrecently I’ve been having a crisis about what I’m going to dowith my life once I get back to the UK next year, I want to get a jobI actually love as opposed to ending up in a shitty call centre jobhating my life again. But the other day my manager told me that shegenuinely believes I can do absolutely anything and be brilliant atit, and that just boosted my confidence so much.

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

Iusually try and just get on with things and don’t admit I’m sickunless it’s really bad. I hate sitting still, I need to be doingsomething all the time even when ill.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.

Scary?Death scares me, I can’t lie. I try not to think about it.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.

TheatreRoyal Bath, I associate so many good memories with this building.When I was a kid and first expressed an interest in Shakespeare mymum used to sometimes take me to see plays there. I started a massivething in me and it’s always a place that makes me feel happy.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.

Iput on music. Loud. Usually Bowie, because I know he will make mefeel better, he always does.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.

Ireally hope this doesn’t tempt fate, but as of yet I’ve onlyexperienced self inflicted pain. Never broken a bone or sprainedanything. Uhm so probably my first tattoo but even then that was a good pain for the most part.

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.

Beinganxious. Seriously, if I could control my anxiety or make itdissapear things would be so different.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.

Meand my dad share a fairly similar musical taste, and he was the onewho introduced me to all the musicians I love so deeply now.Specifically listening to Delilah by The Sensational Alex Harvey Bandmakes me think of him. With my mum, we both love Alice Cooper so anytime I hear him I think of her.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.

Iwish I’d known earlier that there’s no shame in ‘sleeping around’.I felt ashamed for a long time about my sexual habits, and got shamedfor them. I know now that it’s all bullshit and me being in controlof my sexuality is a good thing.

Ialso wish someone had told me that you’re allowed to have stops andstarts in your career, for years after uni I tried so hard to followa career path that wasn’t working for me but I thought I would be afailure if I gave up, or if I ended up doing something that didn’trelate to my degree. Even though I still struggle with the idea of acareer, I at least do know now that I am allowed to do whatever thehell I want whether I studied for it or not.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.

In 2016 the West Endmusical Sunny Afternoon closed. By the time it closed I had seen it150 times, literally seeing it at the very least once a week for twowhole years. It changed me a lot – I became more confident, I madea group of the best friends I’ve ever had, I started a fan groupfor it and worked with the marketing team for the show on a socialmedia campaign. It was a HUGE part of my life. When the show closedit felt like the end of an era, I really didn’t know what I wasgoing to do without it. It meant so much to me. But now I have allthese great friends who still talk and hang out and I have two castsof actors whose careers I’ll be following for the rest of my life.

#personal #get to know me #weird because I dont like talking about myself IRL but on the internet SURE heres my whole life story #Sorry a lot of these are angsty I'm in a weird headspace

4 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #468

“recollect me, darling, raise me to your lips / two undernourished egos / four rotating hips”

Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I wouldn't know. What comes to mind first, when I say “indie”? The music genre. Have you ever used Duolingo? I have not. Do you think number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favourites. Through all the years in school and reading classic novels, we would usually watch the movie afterwards, so I've seen a good number and understand why they're classics, like The Outsiders, A Raisin in the Sun, Steel Magnolias... Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? I don't know enough, honestly. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. What radio station do you most often listen to? I don't listen to the radio. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes, because I was raised Roman Catholic, and it was routine to go occasionally. Those things are so awful. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? Oh wow, I don't know. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? HOCUS POCUS 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! :') What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? HAHAHA he's gonna fuckin hate me for this. He has black hair, but with a bit of gray throughout already. What letter does your last name begin with? D. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yep. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? You're talking like, a drink drink? In which case, my mother. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Girt. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Idk exactly how old Juan is, but he's probably the oldest? Of the ages I actually remember, that'd be Girt; he'll be 28 next month. Have you ever found a bug in your food? omg noooooo Do you ever read things you wrote as a kid? What were you like? Fuck no, I'd cringe into oblivion. Your boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and you’re totally broke. What do you do? ... Was this written directed at me??? lmao I'm thinking of just trying to draw 2B from Nier: Automata since she's to him what Pyramid Head is to me, ha ha. Would you be content to turn out just like your mom? In most ways, no. If you could pick one topic for everyone in your country to learn more about, what would you pick? Uhhh... Well, it'd be boring as all fuck hell, but I guess politics. Be actually educated on what's going on in the country and vote more wisely. How do you feel about people your age having children? I'm 25. It's normal, and advisable before 30 anyway before the risk of birth defects and problematic pregnancies rise. When was the last time you were at a park? Jeez... the very beginning of this year, I wanna say? I was taking family pictures for someone. Do you feel like going to funerals helps you in the grieving process? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Especially as an adult. How do you feel about the whole organic food craze? I'm not educated enough on this to have a proper opinion. Who was the last person you heard snore? My mom, at some point. Is there a TV show you’ve wanted to start watching but never gotten around to? Even though I don't really watch TV, there are some I'm interested in, like The Witcher. Have you ever worn something out in public that made other people stare at you? Oh god, I would avoid that so hard, so probably not. Do you ever make an effort to look stylish or fashionable? Or do you not care about that? I really don't care. I wear what's comfortable. When was the last time you were in denial about something? What about? Idk. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? If not, would you ever try wearing them? No, but I probably will for my hypothetical wedding. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Yeah; Roman, for one. I should be able to list far more, having taken Art History, where architecture played a big part... When’s the last time you made the best of a bad situation? Hm, I dunno. If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? N/A Do you listen to Fall Out Boy? Yeah, they're great. Have you ever been skiing or snowboarding? No. Have you ever forged a note for something at school? No. Are you a YouTube addict? Oh, for sure. I'm always on there. Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Many, actually! It's funny, at our old place, the day my father abandoned my family, I found an actual PATCH of four-leaf clovers right outside. I doubt it meant anything, but it was still cool. From that year on, that spot always had lots of four-leaf ones. Are you good at lighting fires? I wouldn't know. I'm scared to. Name someone who is an excellent listener? Sara. <3 Would you mind living to 100 years old if you were in semi-decent health? Define "semi-decent." If I could still care for myself fine, then sure, I guess? 100 still seems pretty... bold for me, though. How did your parents meet one another? They were co-workers. When's the last time you got heartburn? What do you think caused it? I haven't had it in a while because I have to take a prescription antacid. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's because of my weight; chronic heartburn is common for people of my size. I know for sure that it's the culprit in my case, because when I lost a load of weight? It went away and stayed gone until I started gaining weight back. What's your favorite red fruit? Strawberriessss. Do you enjoy sour candies? If so, which ones? omfg yesssss. Give me like ANY sour candy. Would you want a chance to visit Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? Ha, it's funny, the first thing that came to mind was hell yeah, so long as I could bring my camera. Can you imagine the photographs? Goddamn right I'd try some candy too, but I'm more interested in the art of it all, really. What is one quirk about each of your parents that you can't stand? Dad is easy: he repeats the FUCK out of himself. Like oh my god. He will cycle a conversation by saying the same exact thing so, so many times. As for Mom... I don't know about a quirk that I can't stand. Have you ever suffered from amnesia before? After I awoke from fainting and receiving a concussion, I did briefly. Like I couldn't remember what happened and was just crying, but it came back to me with time. Do you live with roommates? I live with my mother. Does your body feel older than it actually is? My body feels ancient. Were you always picked last in gym class? I wouldn't say last, but I wasn't a first pick, for sure. Has someone close to you ever passed away from cancer? Pets have. My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, but we were never close, I'd say. Which form of martial arts would you be most interested in trying? Ngl, I don't know almost any names and what moves they entail. Which type of shoe dominates your wardrobe? Converse. The last time you were high, what was it off of? Never been high. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? If they had no interest in getting one, I don't think I could. How would you react if your artwork became famous? Cry. A lot. But in a wonderful way. Have you ever seen an alligator in person? Yeah. I love those lil 'ole dinos. Most instances were at the zoo, but I actually very clearly remember seeing one in a watery ditch following Hurricane Floyd when the local zoo was destroyed. The alligators got out. What does the inside of your shower look like? It's a... normal tub/shower? What primary color is your Christmas tree? It's always green. When I have my own place, I reeeaaaally want a black one with faux snowy tips, white garland, and red ornaments. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to a friend’s pet? Nothing? Have you ever seen a snake in the road? I have. Have you ever been to the Kentucky Derby? No. Have you ever heard a wolf howl? Not in person, no. When in a race, do you usually win? Ya girl doesn't race. I don't remember if I did any as a kid. Do you get sleepy when you ride in the car? Yes. How is your credit rating? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who lives in Hawaii? Yeah, a cousin of mine. What was the last phone conversation you had about? I was giving someone permission to talk to my mother about some financial stuff. How spicy do you like your food? Spicy, but not as hot as I used to enjoy. I've come to a point where I want to focus more on enjoying the food than the adrenaline of fighting the heat of what I'm eating. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? Two days ago when my boyfriend came over and we were watching some shows together. Who is at your house right now? Just Mom and me. Have you faced any of your fears lately? I mean, it's nothing major at all, but signing myself in and out of doctor appointments gives me anxiety. My mom used to do it for me, but I've been doing it for awhile now. Have you slept next to the last person you kissed? No. We both needed a nap the other day, but we've agreed sleeping together while my nightmares are being figured out is a very bad idea in case I lash out in my sleep and hurt him because I would fucking sob. Has your father met the boy you currently love? Yeah. But not everyone loves boys, you know. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? Siblings. I barely ever see my cousins because my extended family doesn't live in NC. How many people have you really fell for? Three. Last thing to make you smile? Some stupid meme on Facebook lol. Does the person you like, like you too? Ye! Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Idk. Is there someone in your past you thought you’d never get over, and then did? Believe this shit or not... I haven't been thinking of Jason as much lately. I VERY much doubt I'll ever be totally over him, but I'm very much focused on and into my current boyfriend. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? We've actually never argued. Your girlfriend/boyfriend buys you flowers, you say? With our sense of humor, I'd probably say some shit like, "You killed them for me?" in an adoring voice, ha ha. Describe your life in one word? Dull. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No, but he wants a sleeve tattoo AND I AM SO FUCKING FOR IT Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? Nope.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''inertia creeps'' by massive attack

0 notes

psychotic-spectrum · 6 years

Text

I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MY OWN FRIENDS ANYMORE

Namaste ^^ So I have a question…is it a schizo thing to not be able to talk to your friends? Like we all be chilling, everything’s fine but after some time I just kind of forget how to have a conversation. It often happens when I “embarrass” myself by messing up words or even whole sentences, that upsets me so much my heart starts beating like crazy sometimes it’s so intense my vision starts to get blurry and i feel like I’m in slow motion. In that case it’s Level 100000 uncomfortable but like I said it happens as well when we just be chilling. Even in my own place where I feel really comfortable and everyone else also. At some point I just can’t think of anything to say and it makes me anxious ( if I’m not already anxious because I “embarrassed” myself). I’m then usually trying to force a conversation, which just leads to me asking dumb questions and realizing how dumb they are the second after they left my mouth. I also have bpd so I notice the slightest change in someone’s tone or their facial expressions so basically I just sit there, asking dumb questions and watching my friends first get irritated then bored and finally annoyed. They never laugh at me or make rude comments they’re literally so sweet and kind but idk I guess it’s the borderline that makes me realize all the details that show what they’re thinking and feeling. Like they be glancing at each other for 0.1 second after I just said some dumb shit and someone without mental illness probably wouldn’t notice. I, on the other hand, am waiting for shit like this to happen every second of every day. It’s like I have a seventh sense for stuff like that (thx bpd, I see what ya did there). After a while the whole vibe just dies and everyone starts getting uncomfortable and kinda bored. That, sadly it’s even possible, gives me even more anxiety and I’m one step from going bananas (one time I had to throw up and sometimes I even fucking dissociate in front of other people)!!!! So at this point there’s absolutely nothing I can do, I’m just a bundle of stress and anxiety, like there’s no calming down or getting over it, every attempt to do that is making it worse. My friends are now full on bored and confused and kind of having they’re own conversation, they’re just still there cuz once again they’re too kind and would never leave me sitting there feeling like shit ( little do they know I’m already on my bullshit and I wouldn’t be surprised if they just left lol) sometimes this state lasts up to 3 hours and you can probably imagine how awful that is. I’m constantly thinking about stuff to talk about and when I find something I rehearse it in my head a million times and guess what? I just end up talking shit again. Ok, so I accept the fact that I’m not able to bring up a topic or something so I’m just trying to drop a few comments here and there but nope, I suck at saying “oh” or “yeah I’ve heard about that”. It’s not in my head, like I see the way they look at me when I say something and at some point they even avoid eye contact, like I know I have bpd but ITS REAL IM NOT KIDDING. My anxiety is now on level 10000000000 ( and by that I mean I can’t even control my mimic I can literally feel it I DONT wanna know what it looks like) and my friends are obviously annoyed. Yup. That, I don’t know for a fact, but I’m always feeling like they start texting each other about how they wanna leave, cuz they happen to get a text from their mom or gotta catch the last subway home at the exact same time and the goodbye is like soooo awkward I’m just such a piece of shit I swear I sometimes even fucking apologize to them for being boring or weird or annoying like who the fuck does that omfg I’m 20 years old that’s hilarious. like it wasn’t enough i manage to make it even more uncomfortable and fucked up. When they leave I often start to cry, cut or burn myself or freak out like a little child and toss shit around and kick my Inventar it’s unreal. I think about it constantly for days sometimes weeks and the anxiety is also not leaving, in fact growing day by day because of my overthinking. I really don’t know what to do anymore, it’s making me sick and worst of all, really lonely…I’ve lost lots of friends because of this shit and the few close friends I still have (besides my 2 best friends, I can totally be myself around them, no anxiety whatsoever) will eventually get tired of me and my behavior soon too. I can’t blame them honestly. I think I wouldn’t like me If i met myself. I’m just creeped out, weird, awkward and psycho to the bone. Some of them even feel sorry for me I think. They always go like “sweetie you can always hit me up with whatever, that’s what friends are for” and they be the ones making fun of me in group chats later. Sad thing is they don’t do that because they’re assholes like that (well kind of maybe) they do it because there is basically nothing else you could do but LAUGH AT ME. The point I was trying to get to is: Is that a schizo thing ? I’ve been diagnosed a few months ago and I’m also bipolar and like i said i suffer bpd. I just wanna know if anyone with schizophrenia can relate or if I’m really fucking casually sliding into another goddamn mental illness???

This is one long ass text but I needed to get this off my chest and I have no one to talk about this. Also your blog has helped me so so so much with realizing that the things I do and feel are “normal” I guess when you’re mentally ill. I’ve found many people, who struggle with the same shit i do and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. Thank you for creating this little comfort zone where we can share our struggles, experiences and coping mechanisms. I’d be the happiest girl if you took some time to reply to me <3 Or maybe you could post it on your blog so that other people can share their opinions, Im pretty sure there are many people out there that experience similar situations. Even if you don’t share this or answer me I’m still very very thankful that your blog made me feel like it’s okay to just rant about my feelings. Who- and wherever you are I hope you’re doing okay and feel loved today and everyday!! Stay strong !!! Peace and Love, M

Hi, first of all, thanks for trusting me with your situation… look, I’m not sure if this is a schizo thing, in schizophrenia you have disorganized speech and that can cause problems in communication, but what you’re experiencing seems more like anxiety to me, or connected to bpd. I relate because for the longest time I had anxiety communicating with people, I think it’s only decreased in the last three years and I’m lot older than you, I also have bpd and I remember when I was 20 it was a torturte to communicate with people and the anxiety was through the roof, but I link that to my bpd more than my schizoaffective disorder. You’re still very young so you can work on this through therapy, therapy helped me alot to overcome this fear of not knowing what to say. A piece of advice a therapist told me is that, when I don’t know what to say, ask questions to the other person, people love talking about themselves, and you know what, it works!

I wish you the best and I hope you can find the help you need

#submission #answered #bpd #bipolar #social anxiety #schizophrenia #psychosis #problems with communication #disorganized speech #s-parklingsoul

22 notes · View notes

infinitd · 3 years

Text

Guilty

This is the last one. I’m already hovering the delete button but I have to type this one out first. It’s been sitting stewing and now festering in the back of my mind for way too long now. I’m guilty of way too much all at the same time and all of them with the singular cause that is me. Maybe this blog is public in that secret shared way some thigns get and the whole squad has BEEN reading it and trying to give healing and support in their own way without really knowing. lol. NOT. Well.... Where to even begin? Weed? Lix? Lovers? Parents? Brain? Siblings? Art? Pretty cool how they present themselves like that once you open the double bolted, extra secured walled off and guarded door. So lets do the order they’re already in. Weed Is great and now it gives me anxiety and mild panic attacks. I get so paranoid I feel like the whole world is watching me and even now the primary craving is for fucking nicotine of all things and the association built between the 2 are too strong to break. Not that it would even be useful to. Weeds usefullness has run its course in my life and a dependancy I have spent the better part of a decade now has to go unsatisfied with a complete reversion to sobriety because alcohol was gotten over LONG ago. I’m still tending towards bingeing behaviour with that but its almsot always a reaction rather than an actual desire to get fuucked up. No more high nights floating just under my ceiling . Hours and hours of dota and that most NEET night time routines. No more weed first thing at parties or braais and hanging with friends too stoned to converse or just talking about weed like its the only thing in my life. Prepare for a million comments on how different I am and a tacit understanding that I probably wanna get high until everyone gets used to the idea of me just being and then aggresively EXISTING again. Along with all the negative attention that comes with that I have completely lost understanding and connection with. Well that’s weed I guess (Shit i got distracted and Imma have to read all this shit again )

Lix

The bestie thing is all fucked up and my (probably correct) suspicion is that he’s just good old tired of me. I nthat friend way. There is literally no value to my friendship. Not even material and he’s unemployed at the moment so you know it’s bad. That last cash send felt like paying rent on a friendship and I figure he must have also felt pretty gross taking it even though he needed it. Lol I wont be doing that again.I’m just intellectually and emotionally inferior at the moment, Fuck the complex. It’s just faxx now. The other one is at least figureing out (bizarre and mildly fucked up) shit for himself but Stormu no Kyodai really is just about over now. The bands broken up and all those successful bands breakups make sense now. You’ve just drawn every but of moisture and goodness out of a thing and it gets husky and weird to keep tending to it. I haven’t been a decent human being never mind friend for so long that I completely udnerstand and agree with how I’m being handled. It doesn’t even hurt that bad. It’s just weird and awkward for everyone involved and it does me no good to be catching shots. especialyl when i’m not really doing anything about it then and there. It’s only ever fun if I have a reply and this time I don’t. not even a little one. Just weak allusions to “progress” when it’s just good old fashioned laziness now. So this I deserve and I’m trying to cultivate my own friendships but my source material to work with now isn’t great and invariably I will probably find myself in a similar position to him before long. That weed addition is pretty rough on anything truly meaningful. All in all it is pretty sad that things can go this way especialyl with the newest addition of having productive and contributary friends in your life. Of course it’sa good thing but it did kinda eliminate me from the running and that makes me lame. Now it’s just navigating this kinda weird and uncomfortable space where he wont say shit to cause damage. I wotn say shit cos I have hope and in the meanwhile the relationship will circle the proverbial drain until distance, time or some other factor snaps the last frayed string. But it is what it is. Lovers

Is actualyl kinda good. The one thing i’ve reconciled at the seeming expense of everything else is love and relationships and my ways of dealing and itneracting with em. I don’t miss exes and I don’t pine over lost lovers other that the typical momentary lapses which is cool. My current love is great. She’s good to me and I’m trying to be to her and its just good, Good all round. All good. Goodness. I sometimes feel like im trying to convince my self of something when it coems to this but actions and results sort of show themselves and it’s just been a constant relief since I’ve surrendered to it really. I’m not even holding my breath for it to last or building foundation. I’m just doing and that seems to work out best when it comes to just about everything.( This does not Feel Good Inc). PRetty wild to me that the lvoers part of this is by far the shortest and best handled but its revelaton did come at the cost of everyting else so yeah...

Parents Is god fucking awful. I mean in truth it’s kind of incredible. I’ve got the best pair imaginable on my team but it’s the resignation that kills my heart of hearts. There is no more expectation of hope or action. No drive or threats. Just plain shoulder shrugs and even that i deserve but when I finally figred it out it floored me. I have no idea baout their intentions or plans anymore. I’m completely out of the loop for the whole family it seems and I’m jsut waiting for the announcement of the intervention or the move out order or the random cash giveaway to get rid of me, I don’t even know but if not for mom I’d have been kicked out long ago. That’s pretty much a certainty and that “mothering” thing is startign to show both it’s calue and its problems. It’s far too comfortable a place to give up easily especially when you don’t bother to be really self aware. But here we are typing the things out. That’s ...a thing.... That they’ll never read or know about and that’s ok.

Brain

Is poop cos I smoked too much but its Ok too. The regeneration process is gonna be a trip of its own. Really uncomfortable and loopy with unexplainable feelings and intuitions but that’s also OK. Better than Ok it’s recovery. The body will will be right there trhrough the process. I’m even interested in things again. Siblings is also a bit fucky. The disappointment is tangible but they’re not allowed to give up yet. We all inherited that one and it does help when i see the glimmers of hope. I don’t feel garbage but it normally starts with e being normal and not being in my head while interacting. Doing that assuming the best thing I used to be so good at. E is over me and kinda frustrated. Very Kev of him. Neez is trying but she has another baby to babysit and care about and I’m a tangential concern at best. The Suicide scare kind of reminded them of my existence in a weird but valuable way but it’s not an angle Im really trying to take. Especially now that I jsut realised what that anrrative ust look like to everyone it was shared withg hand it certainly was with khan which means by extension by the rest of the family. Probably explains strange interations now while i’ve been willfully poblivious and now I have to work to be cool again but it also wont ever be the same again unless someone else fucks up. But that’s a life long journey and doesn’t feel like it has the same urgency as the others. I’m alot more understood than I thought I was and that’s not a bad thing .

Art I’m going to go and make art and eat my girlfriends pussy and that’ll make me feel better and I’m excited for that.

Goodbye old complainy tumblr

0 notes

mosrael · 6 years

Text

Like...I’m frustrated in my job, like really extremely frustrated, but I love the kids I work with, I love the people on my team at my site, and I love the families that we work so hard for. These people make such a frustrating job really worthwhile...Working with kids is batshit bananas every single day, but somehow, despite all the weirdness, kid drama, and absolute inability to spell or multiply, they really grow on you...

Like, getting little notes from them and listening to their weird little stories...they feel like small things but the fact that they trust and like me enough to want to share those things with me is really heartwarming.

OK GUYS, WARNING THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST I AM SO SORRY - I HAD WAY MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS THAN I THOUGHT I DID, PHEW...

Yesterday I was at a doctors appointment for the first part of program so my boss covered for me till I got back and she could leave. When I got back, I just barely peeped my head in the door they LITERALLY screamed and ran and mobbed me at the door and nearly knocked me over trying to give me hugs and to tell me whatever crazy stories they had of things that had happened in the WHOLE two hours that I was gone, hahaha! And yes, it was chaotic, but it was just so sweet and heartwarming, I just....these students are my kIDS, MAN, MY KIDS. They did the same thing today when I left for like 20 minutes to go get more icing for their gingerbread houses and it just blows my mind every single time. This one little girl who ALWAYS has an attitude told me she’d miss me over break like five or six times before she left today, and gave me a bunch of hugs and kept waving as she walked out the door, and there are kids that do that every day, but this time with her, it was just kind of...a strange moment? because i could tell how much she was growing as a person, becoming more positive and confident and open and slower to catch an attitude like she was forever doing when i first started. I get the same warm fuzzies when they come to program all excited and out of breath waving around a crumply piece of paper that turns out to be a quiz or a test that they did so well on that they ad to RUN to program to show me. It’s nice to see them succeed, and be happy and proud of themselves, it’s just a really promising thing to see, and I can’t exactly explain it. Over the summer the kids who walked from a bus stop to program would bring me flowers (pretty sure they “found” them in someone’s garden so I had to shut that down hella fast but STILL). They tell new poop jokes literally every day like it’s the best shit on the planet (see what I did there HAH). I guess it’s refreshing that kids can be so...upfront and weird and honest... its endearing! lol they’re the weirdest little gremlins, but hey we’re a team of gremlins and i’m the gremlin queen so i guess i’m gonna lead these gremlin troops to their glory if it is the last thing i do lol.

I mean, there are just so many examples I could give and I have only worked here for a couple years....I can’t even imagine the weird, ridiculous, great and awful things that teachers that have been in the line of work for DECADES have seen. Jfc...

Like, interacting with kids so much though, and spending more time in the teacher role rather than a student role in a school environment, I really find myself wondering what is the norm, or even if there is one. Sucks that I can really only speak to my own experience and that’s all I can go by, especially because even my own memories of my own experiences aren’t entirely reliable. I definitely know that I don’t remember being like these kids are when I was a kid? Affectionate with teachers, or attached to them, I mean, specifically, because of course there’s a ton of similarity I can see in them compared to the way I was coming up, in some things here and there. But I’d never go out of my way to hang around a teacher, or to like...draw them a picture or write them a letter, or tell them a joke or ask to sit next to them on the bus rides to field trips and stuff. That’s where the greatest difference is, at least comparing to my own experience in school. I had a couple teachers that sort of inspired me, but I didn’t have casual conversations with them, and I didn’t like...want them to play tag or four square or anything with my friends and I, and I didn’t try and show them funny jokes or tell them what was going on in my little weird kid life. But the kids I work with do all those things. I know that there are probably loads of reasons why this is the case, and that it’s unrealistic for me to try and pinpoint what causes that kind of difference, especially since when it comes down to it all these kids are individuals and can’t be expected to behave like I did, or like my friends did at their age, because every individual’s experience is just that...individual. But I find myself wondering at the reasons why they are the way they are regardless. Maybe it’s different because really, I’m not a teacher, since this is a nonprofit after school program, no matter how closely integrated we are with the area schools. I guess in a way, that makes it easier to connect with families in a more personal way, but still...I know that’s probably a piece of it, but it isn’t the reason. I can’t imagine an entire group of 8 year olds would base their behaviors towards someone they consider a teacher on what exactly the status of the program is, especially when they have slime to make and fidget spinners and beyblades to trade and break and lose and argue about. There have got to be a lot of reasons, and no matter how much I know in my head that it’s unrealistic of me to try and pin down all the exact reasons, and that there’s really no point or value to trying to track them down, I still find myself heading down this train of thought pretty frequently. Not as frequently as I think about how shitty Ella from Ella Enchanted’s life would be if she lived in our society, but still pretty frequently nonetheless. I mean, some of these kids are like “Bye Gabby love you!” when they leave, even if I scolded them earlier that same day and dealt with the subsequent attitude that scolding a kid inevitably gets you sometimes. They’re always giving me hugs and trying to sit in my office with me and to organize my office (but NEVER the library or their own cubbies, that would be TOO MUCH TO ASK) or asking to try what I’m eating, or how my sister and her chinchilla are doing, or trying to make me try some food or other they brought me, or trying to force feed me broccoli because they know I hate it and they think that’s HILARIOUS, or telling me that we HAVE to get the class fish a gift for christmas and that his last name is the same as my last name and ew I’m married to the class fish and the list just goes on and on and on....Their candor extends to their families too, truthfully. The families for the most part are really warm and welcoming and kind, too...The parents bring me meals sometimes and even invite me and the team at my site to their get togethers...

I guess it just really surprises me how welcoming and open the people and kids I work with are. i don’t remember where i was going with this. I have been really irritated with my job lately, to the point where I’m really very seriously considering packing up and moving away to try something new elsewhere. It’s just....working with the kids and the great people on my team at my site really mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to leave them behind like that because we’re a team and the kids and families are a part of that...I don’t know. I’m just really torn. It’s absolutely no doubt that my job is fun sometimes, I mean, literally every day I’m positive that I hear at least one sentence from a kid or a coworker that is so strange that I’m POSITIVE I will never hear it again in my life. And in what other line of work could I experience the excitement and terror of organizing and attending an ice skating field trip with 80 8 - 12 year olds, and hoping and praying that no one gets a finger chopped off by a wayward skate on a kids foot? Where else would I be able to experience falling hard on my butt on the ice and having a bunch of kids try and help you get up just to slip and fall themselves while also trying to stop you laughing co-teachers from taking photos of the admittedly hilarious scenario? Is there another line of work where it’s an entirely reasonable occurance to turn around and see a pair of little kid legs sticking out from beneath your desk, telling him to come out from under there, and having him tell you he can’t because it’s his cucaracha cave and he’s just a cucaracha living in his cucaracha house? It’s really bananas, the whole thing is exhausting and exhilarating and fun and messy and frustrating and annoying but lovable and worthwhile, and I just have to remember all that when all the long hours, frustrating pay, and other awful things that dredge up all my anxieties and fears and concerns happen. It’s literally just like...a rollercoaster of terror. It’s exciting and terrifying at the same time, it’s great and it’s also literally killing me, sometimes moreso than others. It’s fun and the kids and families are sweet and my team and site are fabulous and the work we’re doing is always undoubtedly worthwhile, so for now at least, that’s enough to keep me invested for now, I guess. The people who make it worthwhile really do a great job at making it that way. I appreciate them a lot, honestly. My team does so much and I appreciate them like crazy, and my desire to make sure that I’m helping them as much as they help me outweighs my desire to branch out wholeheartedly to find something better because that would mean more work for them and they don’t deserve that, because they’ve been nothing but great. the kids don’t deserve that either, they’ve already had a lot of teachers and coordinators come and go every single year and they’ll feel abandoned and hurt, and that seeps into the families and breeds just...some really bad feelings that the kids don’t deserve and I don’t want to do anything that would cause any of them to even begin to wonder if it’s something that they did that made me leave, or if it’s something about them that makes people come and go so frequently, because that’s absolutely false. i don’t want to risk anything that would jeopardize all the hard work that the kids and the whole team has put into building their confidence in themselves along with their academics. And besides, I’d miss my team and I’d definitely miss the kids....

I don’t really know why I started going into all this, but I’m slowly getting the impression that I’m maybe trying to give myself some pros and cons so that I can have something to reference when I inevitably have to make a real decision about where I’m going to take this whole career thing. I didn’t plan to be where I am now, but now that I’m here, I’m invested and I really do need to think carefully about any moves I make since it’s impossible to ignore the fact that it’ll affect a lot of people, and people I care about and am actively working to build up at that. I think I just...needed to have all of this out in some kind of haphazard organized form and out of my cloudy excuse for a brain where all these things were just kind of frantically flailing around in little half-thoughts. and now I can’t find the read more button thing so it’s just gonna be this long annoying text post on your dash UPDATE: I FOUND THE READ MORE THING! phew, one problem solved at least! That’s the first time I have ever solved a problem, I think--anyways, i honestly would not fault someone for totally ignoring because WOW this got real long real fast...

if you did read this, thanks. C: it feels good to know that someone out there knows what I’m worrying about and is maybe expending a little bit of energy just thinking about the same thing I’m thinking about. just the possibility of that sort of makes me feel a little bit less alone in this situation. let me know what you think if you feel so inclined! I’ve gotta make a decision here and I know that I don’t really have time to just fool around and pretend that this doesn’t exist...I can’t afford to fuck around and be careless here when there are people I honestly care about (I KNOW! I hate admitting that I CARE about people. gross lol) involved. ugh. balance, what even is that? sounds like fake news, i don’t believe it exists.

uh....anyway, i guess this is the end. i’m sitting here typing away like i don’t have to be an adult and get my car inspected before taking a 3 hour road trip tomorrow. i should be responsible and go to sleep but whatever i’ve done enough responsible things for the day so getting to bed in a timely manner can wait for another day. baby steps, fam, baby steps

#besides im not done shitposting for the evening so i can't go to bed yet #thats an important and un-ignorable responsibility of mine #possibly my very top priority #at least i figured out the read more thing #damn it really has been awhile since i used that

34 notes · View notes