#meanwhile a lot of comics outside of gotham go more like. hey this is bruce. he's a cool superhero who's really smart and competent

[autisticcassandracain]

is it just me or is batman like. significantly more tolerable outside of gotham comics than in

#my laptop's still letting me use tumblr without major issues and i'll make that everyone else's problem #anyway. i'm not saying batman outside of gotham is never insufferable to read bc he absolutely can be #when they write him like a gary sue and pretend that he's the most powerful member of a justice league that includes you know #superman and wonder woman #but also from the admittedly limited justice league comics i've read so far as well as the cameos i've seen of bats in other comics #he's just like. 200% more likeable #this post is about wonder woman issue 293 btw #he's out there doing a group hug without major blackmail and not protesting when clark announces bats and he both love diana #he's also engaging in casual conversation and treating clark and diana as on equal footing with him #and he didn't even have to go through a 12 issue arc or have an emotional breakdown about any of it #it's like. gotham comics are almost 100% guaranteed to work their reality around him and make sure you know he's the bestest ever #and all the energy goes towards making him grim and serious and traumatized while also being cool in an action figure kinda way #meanwhile a lot of comics outside of gotham go more like. hey this is bruce. he's a cool superhero who's really smart and competent #he's also kind of a loser who takes himself way too seriously and like maybe two people in this building like him #and the rest are not afraid to make fun of him either to his face or the moment he turns around #i know this is not the case for all comics and there's still a very very good chunk of them that make him the Coolest Boy Ever #but like. even just. seeing him treat other people as being on equal footing with him or even better than him #just makes him SO much more tolerable #like tower of babel or whatever that arc was called had a bunch of rlly dumb takes on how bruce could 'outplay' the justice league #but like. bruce still treated the rest of the justice league as on his level or better. it's why he bothered to MAKE those plans #you just don't rlly get that in gotham. the closest we get is if nightwing shows up bc then we might get an 'oh he's the best of us' #inner monolgue about how proud bruce is of dick. sometimes we'll get an inner monolgue about the other heroes too #but those monologues are the exception not the rule and they are almost never said out loud to anyone #and if they ARE it's only after an arc of bruce being a fucking ass as an apology and it's. insufferable. #idk maybe it's just bc i read more batman comics than justice league comics but still. #bruce is usually just. SO much more likeable in basically any comic not set in gotham to me #i bet if you made him spend a few weeks in metropolis or something his mental health issues would go away actually #he's just vitamin d deficient and it's making him cranky #my posts #bruce wayne

[codenamed-queenie]

Batman Movie Idea

I’ve been thinking a lot about the Matt Reeves movie, and how we might actually finally get a Robin on the big screen (I don’t know Batman and Robin(1997), who’s she?). 

At first, I was thinking it would be amazing to get Tim Drake. I think we can all agree that he’s the least represented of the Batbros in the media, and seeing him debut in the DCEU along Battinson would be epic, to say the least.

But then I got to thinking--you know who we see even less of? You know who’s got just as much (if not more) quipping power as Dick Grayson? And a dubious, unprivileged past like Jason Todd? And the desperate need to prove themselves like Damian Wayne? That’s right, ladies and gentleman, I’m talking about--

--Stephanie Brown.

In the comics, Batman is just as reluctant to have a female Robin at his side as I’m sure a lot of rabid fanboys are to see one up on screen. (And that’s reason enough, honestly, but I’m not done)

But can you imagine? A Stephanie Brown origin story that doesn’t revolve around Tim Drake?

Picture this:

The movie opens with Batman going about his business--crushing it in the board room by day, and kicking butt by night. He’s tired, and lonely, and thinking about his other partner(s), who left. (Setting up that Nightwing movie people keep talking about, and possibly allowing for Jason and/or Tim to come in)

Alfred can tell Bruce is struggling, and continues to hound him about maybe possibly considering dating around? Maybe getting a dog? Just so that he’s not so alone. Bruce shrugs off all of these with the ‘No, I’m Batman, I’ll work and live and die alone, justice not happiness’ schpeel we all know and recognize. 

But then one night, he’s out on patrol. And he comes across another person fighting crime in a cape:

Spoiler. 

She’s in a laughably cheap homemade costume, and is basically just a tiny little five-foot-nothing child. A kid who saw superheroes on the news and decided ‘hey, looks like I’ve found my calling in life’. But even so, she’s...doing a decent job? She seems to know what she’s doing, but Batman swoops in and tells her to beat it. 

And Stephanie, our stubborn Stephanie, says ‘screw that’ and stealthily follows him home. 

Bruce goes about his everyday business, crushing it in the board room and handling CEOmanship like a Boss. But when he comes home, Alfred is missing and the secret door to his cave is hanging wide open. 

So he makes his way down, and stops short to see Stephanie Brown with her feet on his desktop, eating a plain Eggo waffle and watching anime on the computer’s giant monitors. She wheels around slowly, like a supervillain reveal but with more waffles and less ‘actual threat’.

Alfred is tied up nearby and is giving Bruce a Look.

And Stephanie’s all, ‘Hey, Bats, I followed you to your secret lair. Toldja I knew what I was doing. Anyway, I raided your fridge, but I caught this intruder for you, so I guess we’re even?’ 

Bruce meanwhile is doing his Best not to have an aneurysm. 

He tries to convince her to hang up her cape, but after a lengthy argument and a lot of shouting down, Steph manages to wrangle a deal out of Bruce. Three weeks. If she can prove to him that she’s strong enough to fight on her own in three weeks, he’ll let her do the Spoiler thing without interference. 

Bruce has his own conditions, though. He has to keep an eye on her and make sure she’s keeping to their agreement. So she’ll do it wearing the Robin uniform, or not at all.

He and Alfred head upstairs, and Steph stews in her chair, proving that its totally possible to eat a waffle ‘angrily’. 

The first night on patrol doesn’t go as planned. Steph’s in Dick’s old uniform, and it doesn’t fit. She’s trying her hardest, but it seems like Bruce is out to let her fail. (Not because he’s malicious, but because he wants her to understand just how dangerous this life is, and he doesn’t want her to choose it.) They return at the end of the night battered and exhausted. Steph flops down and Bruce asks her ‘Are you sure you want to go through with this? I won’t blame you if you don’t’ for the millionth time. Steph tells him to eff off. 

As soon as he does just that, she takes off, still wearing the Robin suit. She climbs to the top of a building and looks out at the city. Then bursts into tears. 

Unbeknownst to her, someone else just stopped into Gotham to see some old friends and brush up with their old mentor to get his help on a tricky case. Someone who happened to be swinging around nearby.

Enter, Nightwing, stage left. 

He demands to know why there’s someone else wearing the uniform--and his uniform, to boot. At first, he’s confrontational and defensive, remembering what happened to Jason or/and Tim.

But then Steph explains that the Robin schtick is just so she can be Spoiler. All she wants is to stop people like her dad. Do some good.

And about five minutes into the argument, Dick melts. 

He goes into full-on Big Brother mode. Trains her behind Bruce’s back (cue epic training montages with acrobatic flips and so forth) and offers to get her a better costume, and be her real mentor. 

(The latter offer is one that Steph declines. She can handle the vigilante thing just fine on her own, thank you very much.)

Still, Steph spends her days with Dick--learning and hanging out, and doing the whole Sibling Thing (bonus points if Babs or Tim, or especially Cass make cameos) and spends her nights with Bruce. Who, though not for lack of trying, continuously fails to throw Steph off her game.

(Keep in mind that all of this is going on between the lines of the actual story--which of course has to be Bats looking into his own case. This is the Batman movie, after all, not a Robin movie. Sadly.)

But then Bruce cracks his case, and lands right into a trap set by the Main Baddie (tbd, but wouldn’t it be great if we got Cluemaster as a side-villain?), leaving it up to Robin and Nightwing to come to his rescue. (Bonus points if those aforementioned cameos suit up and join in).

After the boss fight ends and the dust settles, Batman nods and says something along the lines of “So Nightwing’s been training you. No wonder you improved so much.”

And Dick just shakes his head. “Are you kidding me? I barely had to do anything. We mostly hung out and talked. She’s a great sparring partner, though, B. You should give her more credit.”

Everyone turns on Steph. “Then how do you know what you’re doing?”

And she’s all “You’re kidding, right? My dad’s the Cluemaster. I’ve been training for this since I was seven years old.”

“Ohhhh. So your dad taught you to fight.”

“My dad didn’t teach me anything, guys. I saw what he was doing, and I saw the people who were getting hurt, and I decided to do something about it. Took a little inspiration from the flying Bat I saw outside my window at night, and made my own moniker.” 

Dick laughs. “Looks like you’re a role model, B.”

“Nah, not him.’ Stephanie smirks. “I’m talking about Batgirl.”

So in the end, Bruce lets Steph keep Spoiler, and gives her a new-and-improved suit as an apology. The Robin mantle sits empty, but everybody agrees that its for the best. Maybe someday, it’ll be used again, but for now, there’s enough capes in Gotham.

For now, they’ve got a city to run.

(cue end credit scene)

A little boy in a lavish room is watching TV on a luxurious bed. He’s transfixed by the image of Batman and Robin fighting side by side on the news. 

The screen turns off, and his mother stands in the doorway, remote outstretched. A disapproving frown marks her face. 

“And just what do you think you’re doing, habibi?”

The little boy sits up straight and says, “Is it true? He’s found another?”

The woman tsks and strides across the room. Deftly tucking her son into bed, and smoothing the sheets around him, she explains that, no, the girl has chosen not to be Robin. Their plans are still on track, so there isn’t cause for worry. 

The boy nestles into the pillow, but looks up at the ceiling. “Do you think he will recognize me? When the time comes?”

The woman, Talia Al Ghul, leans in and presses a gentle kiss to her son’s forehead. “Oh, habibi,” she whispers. 

“A father always knows his son.”

The camera pans up, following the boy’s gaze to the ceiling, where mosaics of bat-winged creatures fly in circles. 

#batfam #dc #dceu #batman movie #battinson #bruce wayne #stephanie brown #spoiler #robin #this is just me spitballing #i know it won't happen #and i know a lot of it isn't even plausible #this is just me playing around with a few ideas #thanks for your time #sorry its so long