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discluded · 2 years

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https://youtu.be/fipafHfc650 have you watched this video? I think it's really interesting and the analysis is spot on especially when they talk about mileapo's chemistry (and the difference between kinnporsche and vegaspete scenes)

Anon, are you trying to get me in trouble with the VP fans?! 🤣🤣🤣

I have watched this. I will say in general it's good, and I recommend everyone give it a watch if you have the chance.

youtube

But if you don't, I'm going to highlight the key points from the essay in order to respond and also some minor points of contention I have.

Mile and Apo set a new standard for chemistry in BL, and fans are not going to be satisfied with the same dead fish kisses they've been seeing in a lot of BLs. (Agreed, this point has been iterated before by other bloggers on tumblr too)

Their kisses are exceptional acting. (The thesis of this post, and I'm guessing why you linked me to the video.) The essayist highlights three items as what makes a great kiss scene: the physical, the emotional, and the lexical.

VP's sex scene is a combination of multiple takes and B-roll likely because they couldn't get one shot that was cohesive enough to use. (this is a fact, I can't dispute it and other people in VP fandom too have noted it). This is in contrast to KP's NC scenes which are usually one take. The video essayist theorizes the BDSM element could have caused more elements for the actors to be uncomfortable and recommends that they work on their chemistry between seasons, provided there is an S2.

I'm gonna focus on chemistry as the subject of this ask.

First of all: What is chemistry?

Chemistry such a vague concept people talk about and never define that you can really only talk about it as "you know it when you see it." But it's so innately recognizable that it's something you can see on video and in still photos.

I would define it as a function of who the people (actors) are to each other. Let me highlight one (extreme) example with MileApo at the Dream Salon Farger event.

This is what I would consider reasonably neutral friendly body language. They're seated in two different chairs, but they are looking at each other and engaging.

Then Mile gets asked a question about confessing and they literally start leaning into each other even though Mile is supposedly talking to the audience.

Then he finishes answering the question with direct eye contact with Apo. Now he's answering the question only for Apo at this point. They're in their own little world, we're just witnessing it.

Also something that's haunted me the longest time... what the hell Apo, why are you shy about Mile answering a question about flirting in private. I mean we all know why but. GOd.

??? what the hell.

ANYWAY. The point is, the chemistry between them is so visible they're literally like magnets pulling towards each other. These are all stills from the video. Even though they started out from a fairly neutral position, their bodies and eyes are innately drawn into each other.

If you have an example this obvious you can tell it's happening even though not everyone might be able to verbalize why you can see the chemistry.

My opinion on actor chemistry is that you can't fake it and you can't really make it happen. It's also not a function of how good the actor is at acting.

Let me give you an example of that. I would consider one of the gold standards of cinematic chemistry to be Daniel Craig as James Bond meeting Eva Green's Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale. And while I haven't watched Blue is the Warmest Color, Léa Seydoux and Adèle Exarchopoulos's chemistry in the film is what has made it one of the great recent queer cult classics.

Yet Daniel Craig and Léa Seydoux have absolutely no chemistry. I was kind of shocked when they got together because their lack of chemistry was so palpable I couldn't see it coming. Two actors who have previously displayed incredible chemistry with other costars and are great actors in my opinion just don't...click.

That's why you cast for chemistry.

So my criticism of the essayist's point they need to work on it is, I don't think they can... I will say, Daniel and Lea's chemistry in No Time to Die was slightly better, but it's not a function of familiarity. If it's not there, then it's not there.

I don't think Bible and Build "lack" chemistry to the same extent as Daniel and Lea above... I actually think it's not terrible, but it doesn't come off at the same explosive level as Mile and Apo's. I would say they operate on a good level we see in a lot of normal-level romantically cast pairings. As for why the NC scene came off as awkward, I do think it's familiarity with each other in the context of that kind of storytelling. Remember that Mile and Apo also spent a year making out with each other for practice too 🤪

What is chemistry in the context of storytelling?

For me, in good storytelling, actor chemistry is usually used in opposition to the events of the story. The chemistry is what glues the characters together while the events unfolding pull them apart. The visible chemistry is the "why" that keeps them coming back together and fighting for a relationship even though intellectually it doesn't make sense.

And by relationship I don't necessarily mean romantic, though sometimes actors get cast for romantic chemistry even when the relationship is meant to be read as platonic. An infamous example of that is Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy in the X-Men reboot.

Their chemistry isn't as intense as MA's (I mean, most people aren't unless if they're actively in a scene trying to bring that out), but if you watch a live video of them, they're magnets for each other too.

And the filmmakers used this kind of chemistry to build the story around why two people might have the type of friendship that crosses a turmulous multi-decade civil rights divide and explains why two people would continue to care about each deeply other despite all the history between them and how much space and time they spend apart.

So do BibleBuild cross that threshold for VegasPete? I would say... actually yeah. Despite all the fucked up things that happened between them, I personally could believe at the end that Pete would throw away all he knew to stand by a man who had kidnapped and tortured him and claimed he had nothing left to offer Pete.

I would actually say the problematic lack of chemistry is between Jeff and Barcode. I love Barcode as Chay, but the original cast Gameplay just had much more chemistry with Jeff. Actually it threw me off how much I felt when Kim found the photos Chay had left him because somehow Jeff created more KimChay chemistry with photos than when Barcode-as-Chay was in the room with him... 😥

It's Physics More Than Chemistry, Baby

Here's the thing, and what I think the essayist was trying to say. I don't think the problem with VegasPete's NC was BBB's lack of chemistry. I think it was the lack of familiarity and comfort. The BDSM elements might have thrown them off, but I do think it's a fundamental discomfort with the NC scenes for them. It comes off as inorganic.

I'm going to get so much shit for this but in for a penny, out for a pound I guess.

MaxTul is considered the king of BL chemistry, and watching manner of death, I would actually agree. They have great chemistry.

But this gifset I saw of them? 😬

This is not the body language of two people ready to get it on. There's so much intentional space between their bodies. There's no rhythm. They're deliberately trying to not have their groins touch. It's so inorganic. It's not a dance between two partners.

The "choreography" of this scene is a close match to Porsche seducing Kinn in episode 9, and yet the difference in authenticity between the two scenes is so vast.

A scene like this is not something you can't rely on just chemistry for, there needs to be comfort and coordination in what's happening between the two actors. That's why it's acting.

I think that's what the essayist and a lot of people see is lacking in VegasPete's NC scene. But this is fixable. It's not a chemistry problem, because that is not really fixable.

#chemistry #kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #mileapo and acting #mileapo #and that's what we call acting #not tagging this as the other couples to respectfully keep my opinion out of their tags

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matan4il · 2 years

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Kinnporsche 107 sex scene meta

Me: I am not going to fall down yet another hyperfixation rabbit hole, I am not.

My brain: Yes, but have you considered Kinnporsche’s bathroom sex scene at the end of ep 107?

(Below: going feral over why this is one of the best sex scenes ever)

This sex scene as a turning point

This scene tells a whole story, which is why it’s so emotionally evocative. It’s Kinn and Porsche’s turning point. Before it, they’ve done so many things together, they’ve felt attracted to the other man, they’ve felt anger, they’ve kissed, they’ve argued, they’ve fucked, and so often, they’ve pretended with each other. It isn’t easy for them to openly show what they feel and be vulnerable like that. Even after Kinn took a bullet for Porsche (!) at the end of 106, they still have moments when they pretend. Porsche tries to walk out of Kinn’s hospitalization room in the side story as if he didn’t nearly lose his damn mind at Khun making a joke about his brother’s condition, while Kinn in 107 tells Vegas he can do whatever he wants to with Porsche as if he won’t go apeshit crazy when he’ll think that’s happening... And this pretending takes place even after it’s already become so clear that they matter a lot to each other (for example, Porsche is staying as Kinn’s bodyguard despite them both knowing how much he hates certain inevitable parts of mafia life, and Kinn’s wishing for the first time in his life for the minor family’s success just so Porsche would return safely to him). They both have trust issues, and being that vulnerable with someone through honesty about their feelings and wants, it’s still just too damn much for them.

But not after this sex scene. They’ll still have their trials and issues, but this scene is what marks the end of them pretending to care less about each other than they do. Everything that will follow, even when there will be stuff that they keep from the other one, will still be so much more honest in terms of how they feel about each other and wanting to be together.

Which is why this scene is built as an emotional journey, signalling the change from the primal phase they were in during the first part of the season, to a new, deeper relationship in the second part. It’s why the scene starts with conflicted sex (which they’ve had before) and transitions into sweet, even joyful lovemaking (which they will have again afterwards). This scene encompasses a summary of their journey, while also being one of the most pivotal points in it. It is a mini reflection of the whole play. It’s brilliance.

That transition is why it has to start with anger, with a sense of betrayal (Kinn’s when he sees Porsche with Vegas, Porsche’s when he realizes Kinn blames him for Vegas’ unwanted advances), then passes through regret to reach the point where they both choose each other, not because they’re unaware of their points of conflict, but with a new understanding that they care enough about each other to be able to surpass them.

Defiant anger is built into what allowed them to happen in the first place. A part of why Kinn falls for Porsche to begin with is the fact that this man does NOT accept any of Kinn’s bullshit. We see it in 101 already. Porsche has the audacity to insist on getting paid for his help to the point of deciding he’s taking Kinn’s watch, the one right next to Kinn’s infamous mafia family ring (we have a clear shot of both in the same frame), and even as Kinn shows interest, Porsche doesn’t want to give him a phone number, and barely even gives him a first name (which Kinn will quickly discover is not the real one anyway). To truly emphasize how completely out of the ordinary this experience is for Kinn, right after Porsche rides away, we see a car pulling up next to Kinn and a stream of bodyguards pours out of it and bows in perfect sync to our mafia prince. This serves to highlight right away just how unique Porsche is and why Kinn HAS to take note of him.

So it’s no wonder that Porsche’s first time confessing his love to Kinn plays out along these lines. It’s not a sweet and docile confession. It’s a storm powered by Porsche’s anger. Which may not sound very romantic, except consider Kinn for a second. At the point where Porsche first meets him, he trusts no one. He’s guarded and closed, and surrounded by people who bow to his every wish. And he’s been deeply wounded by a man he did have feelings for. IDK if he was in love with Tawan, but Kinn felt enough for him that even after Tawan’s betrayal, Kinn kept Tawan’s picture in his bedroom. We only get a small glimpse at what Kinn and Tawan’s relationship was like, whether it was fake from the start or if at first Tawan did feel something for Kinn, but the lying and manipulating had to have started back then, and in the present we see Tawan doing that by being extra available and seemingly very sweet and docile for Kinn. It must have been a very convincing act at the time, yet Kinn managed to realize that it was a lie, that while Tawan claimed to love him, his ex never did.

So imagine how meaningful it was to Kinn that Porsche is nothing like Tawan. That he doesn’t try to appease and be subservient. That he stands up to Kinn, and gets angry, and shouts, and pushes Kinn away. The manipulative Tawan probably never did any of those things, he surely didn’t want to risk what he had with Kinn. Which is why it matters so much that Porsche’s first love confession is so angry and ready to call it quits. Because the tragedy of what Tawan did is that Kinn has trouble believing in soft love confessions. But Porsche getting angry, Porsche calling Kinn shitty in the very same sentence in which he admits his love? That’s honest. That Kinn can believe. And all of the softness we’re going to see between them after 107 is made possible because of that very HONEST anger. In that moment, Kinn can feel that Porsche is telling him the truth, which is why Kinn himself can apologize, because he really does grasp in that moment that he was wrong, that Porsche wouldn’t play with and manipulate him the way Tawan did.

And the second Kinn realizes his mistake, he apologizes right away. I wanna point out how this also connects to 101. We don’t know why Porsche is so insistent on getting 50,000 baht from Kinn until later on, when we meet Uncle Thee and realize Porsche needs the money to cover up this man’s debts. Despite everything that Thee puts Porsche and Porchay through, he never truly apologizes, he never sees how deeply his actions hurt these two orphaned brothers, or feels any genuine remorse for that, never mind attempt to compensate the two for what they’d gone through because of him. Worse, at first he actually spins things around in such a way that Porsche actually ends up apologizing himself to Thee, even though Porsche did nothing wrong. He just wanted to see to his brother’s education, which is valid and right, and a much better use of the money than covering Thee’s debts. Even when he does eventually apologize, it’s clear that his apology is of the “I’m sorry I got caught, still need you to bail me out of this” variety.

So once again, just think about how different it is for Porsche, seeing Kinn realize that he had mistaken Porsche’s intents with Vegas, that he had spoken too harshly, and witnessing how Kinn actually cares enough that he's ready and willing to do whatever it takes to fix things. He sincerely apologizes and then proceeds to show Porsche that he knows he got it wrong, that unlike the hurtful things he said, he actually adores Porsche, and that Kinn will expresses that by physically worshipping him. By taking the time and making Porsche feel good and profoundly appreciated. There is no evasion of responsibility or manipulation on Kinn’s side. And for a man as proud and stubborn as him (characteristics Porsche is already aware of by 107), admitting he was wrong and apologizing is no small thing. Porsche must know this because at the end of the day, he chooses not to walk away from Kinn.

We all know he could. Sure, Kinn’s strong, can fight and has a gun, but we’ve seen Porsche able to fight off even people with guns who seem stronger than him. We’ve even seen him and Kinn face off in 101, and Porsche being completely undaunted by the gun Kinn was carrying, being ferocious enough that he managed to get himself out of there despite Kinn’s skills, his gun, or his bodyguards’ weapons all pointed at Porsche. So if he managed to get out of that one, he could def get out of that bathroom if he wanted to.

But he doesn’t get out. He doesn’t want to, because on some level, he can feel the change in Kinn, the realization he was wrong, the regret, the willingness to make it up to Porsche. It’s their turning point. And maybe my most fave part about an entire scene full of beauty and emotion perfectly captured, is the way Porsche physically turns around towards Kinn. It’s their turning point, literally.

This isn’t just some bathroom quickie. This is the beginning of Kinn and Porsche being on the same page, trusting each other, because they finally grasp that there is real love there. The foundation for everything we’re going to see them building together in the second half of the season.

At the end of the day, this trust is going to be so crucial for them. It’s what they both are missing at the start of the show. Kinn, as a mafia prince, trusts no one, especially not after Tawan’s betrayal. But Porsche is really suspicious of people as well. Like Kinn he has a small circle of people around him that he cares about and trusts, mostly family, but not a lot beyond that. When he meets women at Yuk’s bar, he’s not interested in anything other than sex. That requires too much of him, including trust. And when Kinn wants his phone number and his name, Porsche doesn’t trust him with either. As much as we can understand Kinn’s lack of trust in terms of the mafia world he was born into, Porsche has a somewhat similar experience in terms of the world being an untrustworthy place. He lost both his parents at a young age, the people who should be there to protect him most of all. And then he had one parental figure in his life, Thee. But that man kept amassing debts, which Porsche had to regularly pay off, risking him, his brother, Porchay’s education, their house... In 103, Porsche explicitly talks about the violence and brutality he has experienced at the hands of debt collectors, even Porchay was used to it enough that we saw him in 101 taking care of Thee’s bruises without batting an eye. Add to this that Porsche has also been involved in street fighting, a world in which we saw the “ring master” cheating Porsche out of some of the money he was owed. So trust is a crucial element that neither of them get to have beyond a very small circle of immediate family and a couple of lifelong friends.

That’s why the real test for their love is trust. Where love confessions and the realization those feelings are mutual, those are often the climax of a love story, for Kinnporsche that happens to a great degree in the 107 sex scene. Porsche admits to loving Kinn, while Kinn shows his love through his apology, and the sex being so consensual and equal-footed, that’s in a sense them coming together and realizing they’re on the same page. But that’s not enough, because the real question is, is what they feel for each other enough to build the trust they both lack and desperately need?

In the second half of the season, they’re going to come across two huge tests of trust. And not just any tests, these are going to be grounded in a shift in reality, the kind that makes people doubt themselves, let alone others.

Kinn’s test is gonna come first, when Tawan shows up, “back from the dead”. Just think about how mind boggling that had to be for Kinn. Porsche didn’t know Tawan, he wasn’t there when Tawan was shot, and he was so certain the guy was dead that he was convinced he was being haunted by his boyfriend’s dead ex. So just imagine how much Kinn’s sense of reality must have been challenged when he was there and convinced he killed Tawan himself... It’s not simple to still have faith in yourself or in your new boyfriend after being so deeply betrayed by your ex and when things you thought you knew for a fact get challenged. And yet, we’ll come to find out Kinn did, that he never lost his trust in Porsche, not even when it looked like he did. Kinn’s real challenge wasn’t in whether or not to believe Porsche over the “resurrected” Tawan. It was in trusting him enough to let him go when Porsche escaped imprisonment in 110.

Yes, we’ve seen Kinn letting Porsche go at the end of 106, which was an incredibly important step for him. But it’s one thing to do that when they never got to be together as a couple, when Kinn never got to experience how happy they could be sharing their lives, and when he thought he was letting Porsche go in favor of pursuing his dream of opening a bar on the beach, getting away from the darkness of the mafia world. It’s a different thing to know how happy they can both be if Porsche doesn’t go, and that if he does, they may never get that. Because by now, Porsche is tangled too deeply in the webs of this dark world, if he leaves, it’s not in order to pursue freedom and lifelong dreams. It’s to get away from Kinn. And all along, Kinn knows it can all be resolved so easily if Porsche just stays and hears the explanation regarding Tawan. But Kinn understands that if he insists, if when Porsche is asking for Kinn’s trust he won’t get it, it may be over in any case. Letting him go at this point must have been hard enough considering how at the end of 105 we saw Kinn still being that man who insists on getting everything and everyone he wants. He had to really struggle not to express himself in that way. So just imagine how hard it had to be, how much trust it actually took for Kinn to let Porsche go at that moment, especially when he probably knew Vegas, the man Kinn already suspected of being behind Tawan’s betrayal, was most likely the guy behind breaking Porsche out of that prison cell.

Then it’s Porsche’s turn to have his trust tested. And if Kinn experienced a revelation that would put a dent in his sense of reality, this is even more true for Porsche. His parents dying in an accident is one of the most forming experiences of his life, and then he first discovers that’s not how they were killed, then later he finds out his mom is still alive, though in a sense she’s still out of his reach. Everything he knew collapses. His own memories turn out to be untrustworthy. We see him physically experience discomfort as he struggles with that. Thee was supposedly his uncle, the man who raised him and Porchay since they were little and orphaned, but he turns out to be some stranger inserted into their lives, while a man Porsche thought was a stranger turns out to be his uncle through adoption. All of that together, it’s so destabilizing, but remember Porsche had trust issues to begin with. So to now find out all of this, to know he can’t even trust his own mind... How does one even handle something like that? It could make anyone fall apart. Yet, before the end of 114, we get the answer. Porsche isn’t okay, his trust in Korn has been shaken up seemingly for good, yet there he is, choosing to put his trust in Kinn. Eventually even pledging Porsche’s own life to him.

Kinn himself, in a sense, is tested during that final battle, too. He has been raised his whole life to believe that only those who are loyal to Korn can be trusted. Even after all of the lies and manipulations, Kinn is still extremely loyal to his father, we never even see him getting to express any upset over Korn faking his death and all the turmoil, death and destruction that brought about. Kinn's whole identity has always revolved around being his father’s son, to the degree that he still asks for Porsche to declare his loyalty to the main family, meaning to Korn, at the big battle. And he doesn’t get what he’s asking for. Porsche refuses to pledge his allegiance to this mafia family. Yet despite that, he states he is loyal to Kinn. And that is maybe the first thing Kinn has ever had that is truly his, not something he got thanks to being a mafia prince. Porsche’s love and trust is actually something Kinn has earned despite his family. That’s not something Kinn is supposed to want or accept. Yet Kinn trusts Porsche, so that Porsche is loyal to him, despite not being loyal to the family or Korn? That’s good enough. That’s another small trust test they pass.

I can’t say enough about how powerful I think that is, which is why I also believe no matter what’s gonna come their way if we ever see a season 2, Kinnporsche can overcome it. Korn is still a very dubious figure, these love birds are still deep within the brutal mafia world, so challenges are bound to rise sooner or later. But they love and trust each other, so I feel no doubt they will come out on the other side of such challenges stronger than ever.

Yeah, basically the epicness of Kinnporsche’s love story is their trust and the way it manages to hold on and help them win even in the face of a reality bent out of shape. No matter what, by the end of 114, they know they can trust each other. And the moment when we first really see them committing to this trust, when they’re in sync for the first time and choose this trust (choose to trust the other man’s love confession and apologetic expression of love) is during this brilliant sex scene. There’s a reason I’m never gonna be over that scene, and it’s not just how hot it is. Which, for the record, is VERY.

This sex scene as a dance

It’s not just the idea behind the scene that’s powerful, or the meaning of it, its power is also in the way it was filmed. It is a dance. We can feel its rhythm. Half a step forward, one step back, sideways glide, turn and coming back together for the big, climactic jump.

When Kinn barges in there and kicks Vegas out, you can see Porsche is happy about it. Not only did Kinn just stop Vegas from continuing with those unwanted sexual advances, he was also damn sexy while doing it. Porsche is smiling at Kinn (the same hooded smile he had when they were on the balcony earlier in the ep, flirtingly discussing using Kinn’s “other gun”).

You can tell that Kinn’s anger takes Porsche by surprise, see the joy draining out of him. In fact, this is so not what he expected that at first he doesn’t even know how to react to it, he just searches Kinn’s face for answers. Porsche knows he did nothing wrong, so how is he even in a situation to have to defend himself? It’s only when Kinn keeps pushing and even gives him a small slap that Porsche is moved into action. He gives Kinn a shove that mirrors the slap. It’s an expression of Porsche’s anger, but also puts them back on equal ground. He’s making it clear he will not be pushed around.

Porsche protests that he didn’t do anything, to which Kinn responds with a bitter, cynical smile, a physical sign of his hardship in believing this. And then trust comes up explicitly. That’s what was truly jarring for Porsche, not the slap, but realizing that Kinn still doesn’t trust him. “Shoot me already,” he says, because in this very ep he heard (from Vegas, who omitted Tawan’s betrayal) that Kinn’s paranoia led to him killing ex. That’s a freaking scary thought, to know the guy you’re into might kill you, because he’s done it before. But Porsche didn’t run away, instead he was still smiling when Kinn first leaned over him after getting Vegas out of that bathroom. He doesn’t run away now either. No, instead he challenges Kinn to shoot him. For a second, it’s as if he demands, “You will love me, and with that trust me for real, or I will die right here.”

But then he adds, “Just like how you shot your ex.” There. If the shove balanced off Kinn’s slap, it’s these words that balance his hurtful accusation. This is exactly when we see Kinn’s bitter smile slips off, just as Porsche’s genuine one disappeared earlier. These words hurt him so much, Kinn leans in closer, ready to hand out the real blow with deliberation. But it’s not a physical one, it’s the accusation that Porsche is sluttier than he thought.

And it lands. That was crossing the line. Which is ironic, because before Kinn came along, based on everything we see in 101 and hear Porsche tell Yuk in 108, Porsche was a bit of a slut (affectionate). He flirted with the women at the bar, if they were interested he slept with them right there at his work place, he never went on dates, we saw him going from zero to hot and heavy sex in no time, he showed no interest in seeing these women again, and had zero attachment to anyone. He was perfectly happy that way. Obviously, he had every right to be. But Kinn is clearly different for Porsche. Kinn was someone he was attracted to and grew emotionally attached to even before they first kissed. He felt enough that after they had sex, despite the murky circumstances, Porsche couldn’t get Kinn out of his head, he couldn’t sleep with someone else despite trying to, instead he kept flashing back to the way Kinn touched him, evidently wanting that over anything else he’s ever experienced with any of those other women. Kinn ruined Porsche by getting under his skin. Which is why this accusation is so deeply devastating. It completely erases Porsche’s love and how it affected him. If Kinn can’t see that, how can he possibly be convinced that he’s wrong?

So Porsche slaps Kinn, bigger this time, and angrily states he should have never loved such a shitty guy. This is his angry love confession and it comes from a wound, from a place of hopelessness. It’s so hurt and so raw, Kinn doesn’t doubt it. He can’t. But in that very moment, Porsche already turns to leave. He’s had it. This is their dance, perfect synched opposite movements. Porsche is ready to walk out precisely when Kinn realizes that he really does have this man’s love. That he can trust it. He’s ready to fight for it by making amends exactly when Porsche is ready to give up on it.

So Kinn has to stop him from leaving, but Porsche is in no place to hear him out. The result is they’re backed up against the wall. Kinn is so desperate to apologize and make things right. Porsche is physically surrounded by him. But something shifts in that moment. It doesn’t change completely, Porsche is still angry and hurt. But he’s also looking into Kinn’s eyes, and he sees there something that’s enough to stop from Porsche from fully trying to walk out. Like I mentioned, he could have fought Kinn, he could have gotten out of that bathroom. He chooses to let Kinn back him into the wall. Porsche is still upset, he turns his own back and raises his shoulders like another wall between them, but he’s not completely closed off. He doesn’t talk, but he’s there. He can hear whatever Kinn has to say.

What does he say? He just experienced sincere anger, indicating sincere love, and now he’s awash with sincere guilt. He’s searching for the right words, he’s straining, you can see it in the way the vein in his temple stands out, he’s hovering his lips, his breath, over Porsche’s skin. Then he finally settles for something that isn’t an explanation, and it isn’t some grand speech. It’s an honest apology. And he echoes it with every following adoring gesture ghosting over the nape of the man he loves.

And Porsche? He knows it doesn’t have to be some grand speech. He’s familiar with the actual rarity of an honest apology and a willingness to work to make things right. He lets Kinn kiss his nape. Just think about how vulnerable that area is. How sensitive. How many physical sensations can be evoked there. Porsche chooses to allow it. His head started out down, in a self-protective angle, but now it’s rising slightly. We still can’t quite see him, but the expression on his face is more visible than a moment ago.

All along, the camera dances with them too, moving from a greater focus on Kinn (he was the center of the frame in the moment when he backed Porsche into the wall), to both of them, to them with their reflections in the mirror, then backing away from the reflections to being once more just them.

This is so important. Reflections in art are where people meet themselves, where they can reflect back on who they are, what they want, where their true self or happiness lies and how they can get there. Kinn has to look all of his doubts and shed them for his apology to be real. Porsche has to make a decision on whether he can trust Kinn enough to forgive him. But while reflections are an opening for insight and self-inspection, they’re also dangerous in art. Those who look at their reflections and fail to find the right insight, to act on it, to find their way from that reflection to their true self, might get caught in the unreal reflection. The horror genre is especially notorious for this (mirrors, doppelgangers, etc). So it matters that the camera pans over to the mirror, to give them that ability to form their insights, but then withdraws from their reflections back to Kinn and Porsche. And when does the camera start its movement back? Precisely when Kinn says he’s sorry. Precisely when the camera’s angle does lower, catches a better glimpse of Porsche’s eyes. They’re being honest. They could make it.

It’s then that Porsche begins to turn towards Kinn. Hesitantly. But this is a part of their dance. Porsche turns as the camera moves back from the mirror, turns as Kinn moves with him and backs away a bit to give him space, turns as there’s now just enough space for the background light to flood in from behind, take up the space between them and break into a thin, faint rainbow at the edge.

They just look at each other. This is so fragile. Kinn is apologizing, Porsche is willing to give it a chance, but this is still so uncertain. They clearly have the power to hurt each other deeply. That’s a reason to walk away. But they have that power because they love each other so much. That’s a reason to stay. They look at one another, and they see all that. They have to decide whether they want this with all of the risks attached.

And Kinn does. He raises his hand to grasp the hair at the back of Porsche’s neck, like a signal of what he’s about to do. That’s time for Porsche to stop this if he doesn’t want it to happen. He doesn’t. Kinn’s got implicit permission, and he dives into it, into making things better by worshipping Porsche, by making him feel good. It’s still hesitant and cautious. He doesn’t dare kiss Porsche on the lips. He’s not worthy yet. He knows what that kind of kissing means, it’s why he avoided it with everyone else after Tawan. Everyone but Porsche. Yet now, Kinn is denying himself that, and instead he starts kissing Porsche everywhere else. Who doesn’t stop it. So Kinn keeps going, and going, and eventually he circles back, works his way up, physically, to kissing Porsche on the mouth. Once again, he’s allowed to. Porsche had closed his eyes when Kinn started kissing him, starting his surrender to how it made him feel. And now, he actively joins the kiss, opens his mouth for it. And Kinn practically devours Porsche at this point. This is where you can really feel the desperation he’s been reigning in since the second Porsche was ready to walk away from them.

But the kiss is stopped. Porsche pushes Kinn away, holds him by his neck at a small distance, and examines him. They’ve kissed and had sex and flirted in no uncertain terms before, but this will be the first time Porsche really chooses this. He looks at Kinn with the full understanding of what it means if he doesn’t stop them now. Kinn gives him a small nod, and Porsche’s hands are letting go of his throat, allowing the distance between them to dissipate, rising up to cup Kinn’s face, while his own go down to undo Porsche’s pants. It’s a dance. Synchronized timing, opposite motions, one final direction they’re both moving in. They’re finally moving with each other in perfect harmony.

Kinn pulls down Porsche’s pants like a revelatory act, feeling up his hips with so much reverie. The camera travels up and down their bodies to show us all that, in a similar manner to how Kinn’s hands were roaming over Porsche’s skin. There’s so much adoration in the gaze, as much as there is in the touch, and that’s amplified when the camera focuses back on their faces, intently focused on each other.

Kinn starts jerking Porsche off. They start moaning loudly, their bodies tense and stretch, and Porsche’s hand joins Kinn down there. The intensity on their faces makes way for something more. Porsche’s delight. He’s relishing this. This sex and this man that he chose. Their hands start stroking at exactly the same time, and Kinn grabs Porsche’s hair tightly while repeating his name. It’s the first time we see this mafia prince, whose lives and the lives of his men have always depended on him being fully in control, start to unravel. After Tawan, Kinn didn’t intend on ever loving again, and now he gets to, and this time, it’s the real thing, with someone who’s honest with him, and loves him right back. That’s so intense, no wonder he’s not quite in control.

Which is exactly when Porsche steps up, takes charge as they both start smiling at each other, basking in how good this is. Porsche even stops for a second, licks his hand, and brings it back down to bring them both to completion.

Because this is their dance: the sex in this scene, just like their relationship overall, starts out with Kinn being the active one, the initiator, the one in control, but soon Porsche joins him, at first with trepidation, but then with more and more enthusiasm, with more commitment and passion poured into it, eventually matching Kinn, and even taking control himself, bringing them back to an equal footing. The initial choice is Kinn’s and the final one is Porsche’s, just like in the show overall. It matters so much that the sex itself is implied to be an act of mutual masturbation, it’s maybe the most “egalitarian” of sex acts that two men can have.

And when it’s over, they don’t let go of each other. Skin against clothes, we see them holding on and kissing. Hugging, and burying their faces in the crook of each other’s neck. That must have been the first time they felt that this is truly theirs. That they can have this. A joy and togetherness and love and fulfilment neither one of them was even hoping for. This was the big jump, the real leap of faith, and they took it together, completely in sync. All of the trust we’ll see later that will get them through everything, that will get them to the moment where they have their symbolic “wedding,” letting us know their commitment to each other doesn’t fall short of any heteronormative marriage, we’d have none of that if it weren’t for this perfect moment.

Thank you so much to the wonderful @nattaphum for her permission to add the beauty of her gifs (which everyone should check out) to this post, and help put this meta together. Cris, you’re a gift to your fandom, so this is kind of a belated bday gift to you. Buon compleanno! xoxox

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kinn x porsche #kinn theerapanyakul #porsche pachara #porsche theerapanyakul #i am going to watch this casually my ass #or theirs #mileapo #because i have to salute mileapo for their extraordinary acting in this scene #and also i'm looking forward to the mileapo movie #mkp

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