#my body tells me to eat 15 Oreos in a sitting so fuck you

[javaberrychip1998]

I am not beating the internalized fatphobia allegations

#tw body negativity #anyway yeah I’m back to calorie counting because that’s literally the only thing that’s ever worked for me #‘calorie counting is unhealthy you just need to listen to your body’ #my body tells me to eat 15 Oreos in a sitting so fuck you

[borkingbarnes]

50 questions!

Thank you for the tag @buckyland! You are literally the softest angel and I have mega amounts of love for you. 💗💗

Putting a Keep Reading bar bc its a lil long aha 

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush?  Black and red. Though I can't really brush my hair bc brushed out wavy/curly hair = hella frizz :/ 

2. Name a food you never ever eat.  Olives, bell peppers, Brussel sprouts. 

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too cold. Always too cold, considering I live in a barren wasteland. 

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?  jamming out in the shower lol 

5. What is your favourite candy bar?  Hershey’s cookies and cream 😍

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game?  I think a professional hockey game when I was in elementary?? 

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “what the fuck is this shit?” (directed at my final exam review) 

8. What is your favourite ice cream?  Vanilla or oreo! 

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?  Cofy. 💜

10. Do you like your wallet?  Yes!! It was a gift from Christmas! 

11. What was the last thing you ate?  a singular sunflower seed that was on my desk lol

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?  No, I’m not a huge fan of buying clothes if I can't try it on first. However... this hoodie from UO is speaking to me but its so. frickin. expensive.  

13. The last sporting event you watched?  I think a men’s semi-finals volleyball match against UBC that hosted at my uni years ago? I had a huge crush on our setter at the time LOL 

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?  butter or caramel.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?  A text to my bf ranting about how the government will only allow me to get 1 month of BC at a time (before you could get 3-6 months worth at a time), which is fucked bc it just means more trips out?? 

16. Ever go camping?  Yes!! Hoping to go this summer if everything clears up by then.

17. Do you take vitamins?  Occasionally, if I open the cupboard and see it. But only the fruity chewable ones bc they're yummy lol 

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?  No. But my one of my friends does and he was supposed to send in a video of him playing some song for his church’s Easter service bc he’s got a degree in music and just overall v good at his instrument. His brother streaked through in the background of said video. He still sent it in. The church played it for the service. akljsldkj 

19. Do you have a tan?  No, she long faded :(

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?  yes. 100% yes. gimme some of that good good sweet and sour pork ANY day. 

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?  I don't drink soda lol 

22. What color socks do you usually wear?  Those multicoloured Puma ones which everyone has that you can get in a bundle from Costco are all I wear 😂

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit?  I usually go like 5 km/h above?

24. What terrifies you?  Failure, not getting anywhere in life, being trapped, losing my mom and grandparents, got reaching my goals. 

25. Look to your left, what do you see?  The disarray that is my unmade bed 

26. What chore do you hate most?  Dishes. 

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?  lol its terrible but they could literally be saying anything but my brain will immediately go “DEOWN UNDAHH” 

28. What’s your favorite soda?  I don't like soda, but will on a rare occasion take a sip of coke or sprite if my bf is drinking it. 

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive?  Drive-thru 100%. I will avoid humans as much as possible lol that and im too lazy to get out of the car most of the time 😅

30. What is your favourite number?  8, 38! 

31. Who’s the last person you talked to?  Like face to face? I guess me mum? 

32. Favourite cut of beef?  T-bone 😍

33. Last song you listened to?  Atlas - Luke Christopher (very fitting for the current times if you ask me, and just overall one of my all time favs.) 

34. Last book you read?  The mind-numbing bullshit that is my textbook. 

35. Favourite day of the week?  Saturdaze

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?  No. I have 1 braincell, and she is not able to complete such an extensive task. 

37. How do you like your coffee?  A good old double double if hot, but I quite enjoy a vanilla iced cofy.

38. Favourite pair of shoes?  My black Nike running shoes in general, my black Timberlands in winter, and my black suede Chelsea boots for a more dressy look! (I enjoy wearing the colour black if you couldn't tell😂)

39. The time you normally get up?  If I don't have any obligations: 10:30-11:30 😅

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Give me ALL the sunsets. 

41. How many blankets on your bed?  3. I am a cold, cold child. 

42. Describe your kitchen plates.  White, square ones? 

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment?  Littered with papers and writing utensils because my brother does his homework at the dinner table

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?  Caesars with Walter’s caesar mix 😍😍 Daiquiris are also yum! AND PINA COLADAS. 

45. Do you play cards? I play uno almost everyday on my phone LOL (hit me up if you wanna play together!!)

46. What colour is your car?  Gray 

47. Can you change a tire?  I don’t think so? Though I know the basics? 

48. Your favourite state? Tranquil. At peace. Basically how I feel when I’m floating on my back in water with the sun on my face.  If its US states then I haven't been too too many, but I absolutely adored Florida because of DisneyWorld. I also have some really good memories in Illinois 

49. Favourite job you’ve had?  I still have this job but a vet assistant! 

50. How did you get your biggest scar?  lol. ha im embarrassed. buckle up and prepare for story time. it’s kinda gory(?) so don't read if you don't like that stuff!! 

Box jumps in high school (we had a proper actual gym with weights and machines and stuff). I took my glasses off (idk why I decided to workout in glasses instead of contacts?) bc they kept sliding down every time I jumped. Mind you my prescription is like -5.50 and I have astigmatism so my depth perception is like non-existent without some sort of corrective lenses. But my half blind, non depth perceiving ass was like eh how bad can it be? Well it was VERY bad!! I completely misjudged how high I needed to jump (the box was on the highest side) and basically slammed my shin against the edge of the box (its wooden and very solid!!) and the weight of the rest of my body plus gravity caused my shin to dig and scrape against the edge of the box v deep on the way down. Idk if it was bone or what but there was definitely something flat and whitish in the deepest part?? Nothing broken luckily, but it hurt like a bitch. Found a first aid kit and bandaged myself up and limped around the whole day. Years later, there's still a longish scar and it’s indented along it. 

I also have a fading but quite large scar from road burn when my friend decided it would be funny to push me super fast just out of the blue while I was sitting on a skateboard and not stop me when I started teetering. I was wearing shorts and basically scraped my thigh and part of my butt against concrete. It was painful as fuck and didnt heal for a long time bc it was such a large surface area. I was P I S S E D. 

lol thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far! Tagging some beautiful peeps if y'all want: @evanstar @fightmewiatch @jalapenobarnes @buckthegrump @tropicalcap @sgtjbuccky 

#tag game

[fraink5-writes]

Human Qualification- Chapter 15

January 1

New year; new angst.

Happy (belated) birthday, Rika ( @leio13 )! I hope the second part of this fic counts as a sufficient gift!

Of course, I’d like to thank @missmizpah @gracieuxetoile and @deathly-oreos for reading this over!

Summary: To slowly lose all your functions until you are nothing but a trapped mind in a deteriorated shell, that’s what it means to be ‘No Longer Human.’

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

“Good morning, Dazai, and Happy New Year.”

“...Morning?” Dazai was aware that his reply was incomprehensible. He could have groaned and made the same sound. But, his mind was still groggy, so he let the unintelligible murmur slide.

“Yeah, you slept through the bells.” Chuuya was busying around the room, fully dressed up. “Sorry. You looked so tired I let you sleep.”

“It’s just some bells. It’s fine.” Dazai was too distracted by Chuuya’s clothes. “...Are you going somewhere?” On New Year’s?

“Yeah, I was going to visit the shrine. Do you want to come?”

“Do I have to?”

“No, I guess not. No one is going to force you. But you did miss the bells.”

“Then I’m going to sleep.” As if supporting his words, a yawn forced its way from Dazai’s lips. “I don’t believe in such superstitions, in any case.”

Chuuya raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to pray for you, anyway?”

“Sure. Please ask for a beautiful woman with whom I can commit double suicide.”

Chuuya pushed Dazai’s forehead. “Who the fuck am I?!”

“I don’t want you to die, Chuuya.” Dazai grinned sweetly, a hint of malice glimmering in his teeth.

“How thoughtful of you.” The irritated hand on Dazai’s head lightened its grip. “Get some rest, okay?” After brushing the bangs from Dazai’s face for one last look (a mixture of affection and concern), Chuuya turned towards the door. “When I return, I will make you regret those words.”

“Do your best...” Dazai had fallen back into sleep before he heard Chuuya exit the apartment.

Dazai reawoke at an uncertain hour in the afternoon. Judging from the silence, Chuuya was not home—not that Dazai was particularly concerned; he trusted Chuuya’s judgement. What was surprising was that Dazai was hungry. The feeling had become nearly alien to him—so much so that Dazai was startled by cavernous trembling. The accompanying pain was not as usual, but, nonetheless, Dazai was determined to quench his hunger. If anything, Dazai was grateful that he still had an appetite at all (even if it showed up only on rare occasions).

Dazai’s body was not on his side, putting up a sluggish (but effective) resistance. His legs cried out in pain when he shifted his weight, and worst yet, the world rocked back and forward—or was that he? Nevertheless, clinging to the hope that food would give him strength, Dazai pulled himself to the kitchen. Each piece of furniture became a prop for Dazai to lean against as he scaled the walls.

Perhaps Dazai wouldn’t be able to cook something, but he could still heat up leftovers.

Or not. Dazai didn’t make it to the refrigerator. Sliding against the counter, Dazai’s foot got snagged, his grip disappeared, and he hit the ground with a thud. A low moan slipped from his lips as sparks ran down his nervous system. His vision filtered in and out of focus before Dazai registered the state he was in. The stinging pain froze his limbs, so he decided to wait a few minutes before standing up again.

In the meanwhile, Dazai didn’t want to waste time. What would he have for lunch? Eyeing the refrigerator, he tried to run through a list of the food inside. His head was scrambled, and items didn’t come easily to mind. After a slow minute, he finally recalled one of the leftovers—the KFC—it was shameful that was still there. He had told Chuuya he would eat it, but shortly after, his appetite had vanished. Putting aside his guilt, what else was in there? Once again, his brain failed him. It was a broken tape recorder, playing the same track again and again and again. KFC. KFC. KFC. Evidently, that was Dazai’s fate, to eat the fried chicken.

Of course, Dazai’s fate was much worse than he presumed. A few minutes had passed, but, physically, Dazai was the same as before: lying on the floor, pain shaking his limbs. A fog had settled into his skull, making coordination difficult. He kicked out one leg—it felt oddly distant, except the pain which flared up. And his arm—although he could feel the cold tiles below his palm and the ache which ran up and down, his arm did not feel like his own, and, either way, it couldn’t lift Dazai. All of Dazai’s strength had been knocked out of his body upon his impact with the floor. Not satisfied with his current situation, Dazai jerked his remote limbs several to no avail. Instead, whatever remaining energy he had seeped from his body into the floor. The Earth was a giant sponge, absorbing Dazai’s strength, energy, hunger, pain, and finally consciousness.

In the kitchen, time was frozen. The tick of a distant clock had slurred until it blended away into the white noise. Through the window, sunlight streamed so consistently not even shadows danced on the floor. Nothing moved. And yet, when Dazai was awake, time moved so unbearably slowly, although it was impossible to measure. Seconds were confounded with minutes, and minutes with hours. The only certain marker of time was the dreadful pounding of Dazai’s heart banging against his eardrums. Sometimes its beating would rouse Dazai, throwing itself into a frenzy. Sometimes it would lull Dazai back into sleep. Awake or asleep, nothing changed. Nothing moved. The only difference Dazai could find when opening his eyes was that everything was subtly more blurry until there was no point of opening them at all.

Dazai’s eyes shot open, and his vision came into focus. The sunlight was now a distinct golden yellow, pooling over him on the floor. It was the click of a lock which had stirred Dazai.

Chuuya.

“Tsuuya…!” Dazai’s calls started as low groans, growing in volume with increased desperation. Dazai hated the sound of his voice, the way he consistently failed to say his partner’s name. He could hear it distinctly in his head, “Chuuya,” but it never carried over to his lips. Somewhere along the way, it had become distorted—ugly. Without any regard to Dazai’s opinions, his body kept shouting, as though the words weren’t words at all but primal calls.

“Dazai?!” Chuuya raced over to Dazai’s side. “What happened?!”

“Tsuua.” That incoherence was all Dazai could sigh out. His throat burned.

“Dazai… what happened?” Chuuya inspected Dazai and must have realized that he wasn’t going to an answer because he swiftly disregarded his question. “I’m here, okay?” He gently scooped up Dazai. “Is this okay?”

There was a persistent ache, but Dazai figured that wouldn’t go away regardless. He nodded.

“Anyway, I’m sorry for being away for so long. Can you fucking believe that bastard, Mori Ougai, had a mission for me to do? On New Year’s?”

“Bastard,” Dazai spat. It was easier to talk about Chuuya’s experience than his own, which was still a haze of confusion and dread.

Chuuya softly lowered Dazai onto his bed. “So, how long were you on the fucking floor?”

“I don’t know...”

“You don’t fucking know?” Picking at his gloves, Chuuya paced in a small circle in front of Dazai. “What. Happened. Dazai?”

“I fell. That’s it.”

“‘That’s it?’ Nothing else happened?”

“No...” Anything else which may have happened had blurred into oblivion.

Chuuya inhaled sharply, bringing his hand to his forehead in frustration. “Sorry,” he exhaled. “Can I sit down?”

“Be my guest.”

“I’m sorry. If you say you don’t know what happened, I believe you. I just have no fucking way of knowing. How can I do anything...”

“Tsuuya. It’s fine. I just fell. That’s all.” How could Dazai tell Chuuya of the way his limbs abandoned him, the way he drifted in and out of consciousness, thinking—hoping—each time he closed his eyes it would be the last?

“I should have been there. This didn’t need to happen—if I had been fucking there.” Chuuya sighed, watching Dazai with regretful eyes.

“What? Tsuuya, I don’t like that look.”

“I’m going to stop working.”

“What?” Dazai lurched upward, but the pain quickly pushed him back down. “Tsuuya, don’t make any rash decisions.” He laughed, hoping that the idea would quickly be dismissed as a joke.

“It’s not a fucking rash decision. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. We have enough money to last us indefinitely.”

“I’m not worried about the money. What about you, Tsuuya? Can you do it?”

“I can fucking do it. Who do you think I am?”

“But, do you want to do it?”

Chuuya averted his gaze. “I… I can’t stand this. I can’t stand being so fucking powerless. I want to help you.” He grabbed Dazai’s hand and made eye contact again. His blue eyes were pools of sorrow and desperation—this time, Dazai was the one to look away. “Please. Let me help you.”

“The last thing I want is to be a burden. As soon as I become a burden to you, Tsuuya, please...” please let me die. Dazai couldn’t ask Chuuya to kill him, and so the words remained unspoken.

“That won’t fucking happen, asshole.” Beneath Chuuya’s tough facade, his sympathetic eyes trembled, threatening to burst. It was unbearable to see Chuuya struggle with a problem that should have been Dazai’s alone. How Dazai wished for Chuuya to give up on him—but Chuuya would never do that. Even as Dazai deteriorated physically, and stress ate away at Chuuya, Chuuya would probably be by Dazai’s side. How Dazai longed for Chuuya to stay with him—but he could never ask for that.

Dazai swiftly changed the topic of discussion. “Oh yeah, Tsuuya, did you remember to pray for me earlier?”

“Yeah, I said ‘I hope this year Dazai can stop overthinking things in the distant future.’”

How did Chuuya read his mind? Dazai grinned sheepishly. “What about the pretty lady?”

“You’re going to have to find her yourself.”

“Well, until then, I have Tsuuya!” For better or for worse, Dazai would always have Chuuya.

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#Bungou Stray Dogs #Soukoku #Human Qualification #Dazai Osamu #Nakahara Chuuya

[littlemunchkitty]

Bloody Story Time.

I am a senior in highschool. I want a red cord. You get the red cord by donating blood twice. First time around in and out no problems. Second time was a fiasco. So i get there and they say my iron levels check out and i can go on over to donate. I sit down. They see my veins because they are highly pronounced. The needle goes in my arm. They start taking blood. i have pretty good blood flow. Doesn’t take long. However the first time around i had an experienced worker who know not to take the entire bag full. The second time around my worker didn’t know better so i had to go call her across the gymnasium when I started feeling bad. She was talking to other people. Okay not a problem she unhooks me (after i’ve filled the bag). So i feel dizzy. They kept telling me to eat their sugar filled junk snacks like oreos and nutter butters. That didn’t help. It made things worse. I had to take what I believed was a dump and so a worker assisted me. We get to the bathroom and suddenly. The worst cramps i’ve ever had and the worst pain i’ve ever felt started. It wasn’t that i had to defecate. It was my body saying “hey honey I thought i’d warn you 5 seconds in advance” For some ungodly reason, my irregular, nowhere to be seen in months period decided to show up while im losing blood. Wtf. Alright so i need to go home. Forget the excessive blood loss, these cramps did me in. FFS. So i called my mom and im in luck. She was dropping my sister off at school. Yay me. So im being wheeled to the nurse and literally 50 meters down the hall im sitting there projectile vomiting all the sugary shit they had me injest and about 2 bottles worth of water. So they wheel me back and im practically on the verge of losing consciousness from these cramps combined with severe blood loss and now water loss. I gave the last of my midol to a girl who needed it a few weeks prior. Fuck me right. Anyway so im sitting in a reclining bed until my culinary teacher walks in from across the hall and tells me that they called for me. Thank god. So they get a wheel chair with feet holsters. (The first one i vomited in didn’t have them.) And they wheel me to my car. They put ice packs all over me. It felt so nice. Yessiree bob im finally going home. So i limp my way upstairs and curl into a ball and attempt to sleep a bit on the floor. I never made it to the bed and I still had a full face of makeup and my contacts both still on. I will NOT under any circumstances sleep with makeup on or my contacts on in a bed. Not going to happen. Ever. So i need to actually shit this time so i hobble to the bathroom next door and try to make it to my toilet where im vomiting and defecating at the same time. So i take my washcloth off of the rack and scrub my face. I go to take out my contacts and guess what? Raccoon eyes. Who the hell cares at this point tho? So i grab a pad and underwear. I hurry that junction up and curl into my bed and cry. The cramps are getting worse and my body is in full panic mode. I try to fall asleep to recover but these cramps are miserable. Thank god i keep midol in a nightstand within arms reach of my bed. So that happens. And i take it with some lukewarm water that had been sitting around. Lucky me. Well this story isn’t over yet. I get a bit sleepy but 15 minutes later im jolted awake with the overwhelming need to vomit. Thank god they provided me with vomit bags. So i vomited in that. More water and worse than that, the midol i was tying to have dissolve in my stomach. Oh well it was plenty disolved enough. Eventually I went to sleep for around 4-5 hours and i didn’t die in my sleep which was a very real fear for me. I was feeling the coldness that happens when a victim loses too much blood. That was terrifying. So now im sitting here retelling my story. Guess what? I totally got my red cord still. It’s like the only cord i get so it’s super important to me. Plus i like the color red that it is. Also i just helped quite a few people with my A positive blood.

Why am i telling my story to this fandom. Well it involves blood draining and i thought of Yui and how much shit she takes considering the average adult male stomach can hold the same amount that you donate. Aka 16oz. Although, Yui is bigger than me. Im only 5’ even. I have a 50/50 chance of having an adverse reaction to our boys depending on how much they take. So if they engourge themselves to the point of pain. I might have a problem. But if they are just taking an average meal, we’ll be fine. The inital peirce (not a butterfly needle. A big ass needle.) was nothing to me though. But holy shit the after event was a painful experience. Don’t donate blood the day you are scheduled to have a period. Especially if you are known for blinding and debilitating cramps.

Maybe this will help my mom see the reason for birth control and stop saying i’ll be a slut if i start taking it.

Plus i get a shirt that says "blood donor premium quality." Poetic right? Especially when i displayed the most pitiful display of human strength any one has ever exhibited. Damnit that blood better save lives. It was too much damn work for it to go in the trash.

#diabolik lovers

[empresspilaf-blog]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

I’m answering all of these because as previously stated I have a real thing for filling stuff out. I like being asked questions it’s fun, keeps my brain workin’ :D

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk. And I never drink it at the end. I can’t, I’ll get sick. I can’t drink milk, and if I have cereal too often I’ll get sick. But it’s just not right if there isn’t lots of milk D’: 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NOOOOOOOOOOO DDDDD: 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Anything? I think there’s a Mythology book around here somewhere with a peanut M&M’s wrapper in it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t put anything in tea, and I’ll drink black coffee, but sometimes I put creamer in it. If it’s available. I like peppermint mocha best yum :D

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Nope! I think it’s pretty nice, actually. It’s one ofthe few things I actually like about myself lol. I hate my body and my acne but I think my nose, eyes, and smile are decent. I had braces so my teeth are straight. I didn’t wear my top retainer though so there’s a small gap, but it doesn’t bother me. Except when I eat apples. The skin always gets stuck >:( My teeth could be whiter, and they’re small and square looking, but I think my smile is alright.

6: do you keep plants? No, but I want to. I just can’t keep up with that stuff. And my room faces a very shaded yard so sunlight really doesn’t come in. 

7: do you name your plants? I totally would! 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I prefer to draw with pencil/colored pencil, charcoal, and I’m trying to use inking pens. I suck at painting lol. I did just get a tablet, though, and Autodesk Sketchbook. So that’s been fun to play with.  9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Oh yeah. I would love to be able to sing really well. So far I can do a decent Marilyn Monroe impression lol. My favorite thing to sing along to is No Doubt. I love Gwen’s voice. It’s a good exercise too, all the vibrato and crazy patterns she does. I also like to sing Heart, too. My boyfriend says I sound pretty good, but I still won’t let anyone else hear me lol. Even though he’s a musician and probably knows what he’s talking about, I still don’t think it’s that great haha 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Yes.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Hmm I can’t think of any that don’t require a long explanation lol. Well okay, how about this. I didn’t ever really drink until I turned 21 (almost exactly a year ago, January 17!), and then when we’d hag out with friends and I’d get drunk, I’d start going up to people whispering “Hey. I’ve never been drunk before” in their ear lol. Like ever time it happened (which wasn’t all that much, I’m still not a huge drinker). It got to the point that now if I drink, everyone goes “Watch out for Robyn, she’s getting drunk for the first time!” 

12: what’s your favorite planet? Uranus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  Hehe uhm Jupiter, because it’s full of gas, like me? I’ve honestly never really thought about this. I think Neptune is the prettiest, and I like the idea that humans may be able to live on Mars.  ~Sailor Pluto is my favorite Sailor Scout. :D

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? A mess hahahahahahahahahaaha. She has three cats and I have a dog. We both have depression, anxiety, BPD, OCD, and ADHD. (fun fact, our diagnoses are identical. We both have PTSD as well). But we love doing crafts and not cleaning our rooms, so I imagine there would be glitter, scrap fabric, pencil shavings, and wadded up paper everywhere. Among the pet hair, of course! 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of the solar system’s mass is the sun! (shit!) 16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? S P A G H E T T I

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? Uhm well I’ve literally had every color lol. But right now, I’m having a lot of trouble getting red to stick to the lengths, it keeps fading to brown immediately. My hair is very damaged so it’s not too cooperative at this point :/

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. Uhm ok so I have IBS pretty bad, right? My friends and I went to Denny’s one night. We came back to one friend’s house, and I needed to fart (Sorry, this is gonna be gross lol). So as my friend Nick was coming up the stairs, I stuck my butt out and farted on his chest area. Only I didn’t fart. I pooped on him. HAHA and now everyone laughs at me because I shit on the bass player! The best part was I ran to the bathroom and I had my boyfriend get my spare undies from the car (gotta have those when you got that Irritable Bowel), and when I went back downstairs, Nick had no idea what had happened lololololol 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Nopeee 20: what’s your favorite eye color? I mean as far as what I find attractive, brown. Big brown eyes. On guys and girls. But especially guys. Girls with light eyes can still be cute but I think dark eyed men are just the best <3 That’s not to say there aren’t also some attractive men with light eyes (points to Bradley Cooper, Chris Hemsworth, Conrad Veidt, J o n a t h a n  J o e s t a r). 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My smiley backpack! I just started really using it about a year ago, but I got it when I was like 3. so it’s around 19 years old. I actually just ripped one of the straps out partially last night, and I gotta sew it (thanks for the reminder!). It’s about a foot in diameter, and it’s just a giant yellow circle with a simple black smile and eyes and two straps. 22: are you a morning person? If by morning person you mean I stay up all night and am awake still when morning comes. Though I was up from Thursday evening to last night with no sleep, so I slept all last night and have been up since 6:30 this morning. 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Well since I’m pathetic and I don’t have a job and the Kent State University won’t let me have Financial Aid (due to dropping my classes last semester because of HEALTH ISSUES, wtf), every day is like that. I hate it, actually. I do nothing but sleep. I stare at my computer for hours, scroll tumblr and Facebook, get out drawing supplies and then stare at the paper and cry, lay in bed and cry, cry and cry ;u; 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? My boyfriend, Mr. Alexander Tortorella. He’s been one of my best friends since 2010, and my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. Also my two closest friends, Taylor, who I’ve been best buds with for over ten years (we even got tattoos together) and my friend Ryanne who I mentioned before (the one with all the problems like me lol). 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? No where, I’ve never broken into anyplace. Other than my car once because I locked the keys in it lol. 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I actually have these flat slip on clogs that have like a brown sweater fabric that I got in 2006. I wear them pretty much all fall/winter if I’m just running to the store or to someone’s house. If there’s no snow, of course lol. I also have Converse I got in 2007 that have the British flag on them, and The Who’s logo on the tongue. there’s smiley faces drawn on the rubber at the toe, and along the side banding one one of them are lyrics to “What a Catch Donnie” by Fall Out Boy.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? I love regular bubblegum’s taste but it doesn’t last long enough to bother. 28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? Uhh…? My friends aren’t really “cute” people hahahahaha. I mean Taylor has called me “Bobert” for years and that’s funny lol 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Yeah this one time when I was little I floated too far on a raft in Lake Erie and thought I was gonna end up in dying lol. I mean compared to other things that have happened in my life that really isn’t anything too bad, but the fear I felt at the time was so immense. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love socks! Cool socks. I’ve got Marvel hero socks, whale socks, Star Wars socks, Sailor Moon socks, Winnie the Pooh sicks, sailboat socks, and funky pattern socks. I hate sleeping in socks though. I also have a collection of black dress socks from marching band haha 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I got naked and chased a friend down the street when I was 17. That was my one experience being drunk before I was 21 lol 33: what’s your fave pastry? Friggin Oreo Poptarts. They count. 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? Little Pooh! And Big Pooh! I have a like 2 and a half foot sitting Pooh Bear and a small one. I dragged them both everywhere when I was little. I still slept with the small one until I was like 16. But it’s so worn and falling apart, I needed to switch to a larger version to cuddle lol. Now I just kinda cuddle whatever teddy bear or stuffed animal I grab haha 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, but I don’t really have them. I do have some super cool Norman Rockwell notecards. And I have rainbow pens I use to color coordinate notes. I’’l freaking rip a page out and re-write everything if i mess up. 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Well I’m currently listening to “Fly” by Sugar Ray and I’d say that’s doin’ it pretty well :D 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Yeah so have you seen a tornado’s aftermath? 38: tell us about your pet peeves! People who chew their nails (Glares at Alex, even though he’s not here). Girls who talk all hood, and act dumb for attention, then get offended when you don’t take them seriously.  39: what color do you wear the most? Black lol 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I wear a ring everyday, I only take it off to shower. Alex has one too. They’re silver bands, and they have the coordinates to our high school engraved in them (that’s where we met). One has the latitude, one the longitude. Inside mine it says “Alex”, his says “Robyn”. 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? White Oleander by Janet Fitch. 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! I just like Starbucks. I’m a white girl. Sue me. 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Alex 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? əʇndɯoɔ ʇou səop 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Oh, no. I overthink everything 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I can’t just do this on the spot!!! The other day a friend asked if I was going into the medical field, because I was really nursing my beer lol 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BEANS. All beans. Fuck beans. 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Yep, spiders. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought I think was Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by My Chemical Romance. I’ve had every word of it memorized for like 10 years, but I never actually owned a hard copy. The last record I bought was probably Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin. *note; as I was moving on to the next question, the song “Houses of the Holy” came on my iTunes o.O (though let it be noted as well that the song “Houses of the Holy” is actually on the album “Physical Graffiti). 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Souls. And old empty bottles. Like empty pop bottles. Not so much anymore, but I have a ton of them in my room that I use as decoration 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Pretty much anything from Def Leppard’s Pyromania or Van Halen’s 1984 reminds me of my dad because those are his favorite albums (and 2 of mine) 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I mean the salt guy is funny? I’ve really been slacking in the dank meme area lately. I am truly ashamed. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I have only seen Beetlejuice of those (I knowwww), and I like it, but the heavy late 80′s asthetic creeps me out a bit. Not the stuff that’s supposed to be creepy, but all the black and white checkerboard and stripes, bright colors, and things like that lol 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog, because I wouldn’t let her have her bone back (it was bed time!) 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? We don’t need to discuss that. Once again; I have BPD. That should tell you plenty. 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Not being an asshole. That’s about it. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I mean I do sometimes, other times I just listen and enjoy it. My friend Nick did a project for school (he’s a music production major) where he mixed the original tracks differently, and he made the bass and snare more prevalent and now the original sounds empty to me hahaha 58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? Lol what??? I mean I drink wine more than anything, but I probably drink more vodka than anyone else too lol. Most of them just smoke that reefer to be honest. Alex and I don’t, he doesn’t drink either. And I rarely drink vodka. But no one else ever does lol 59: what’s your favorite myth? The brown sound lol. The idea that there is a decibel so low that if you hear it, you’ll poop yourself! They proved it to be false on Mythbusters, though. 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I used to write poetry a lot. I actually was published in a national anthology of selected student poets in 9th grade. I have trouble being creative anymore, though. I like Thoreau and Walt Whitman. We studied them in 11th grade. 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I’ve never really given a gag gift. Though one time I wrapped a robe I got my sister in a series of boxes and duct tape just to mess with her :D I wouldn’t say I’ve ever received anything “stupid”. 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope. I like apple juice, though. Orange juice makes me sick. Acid reflux issues. 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? OOOOHHHHHH Gotta be in alphabetical order. Though currently my books are strewn across my floor, mixed in with clothes, my Sailor Moon VHS collection, shoes, makeup, blah blah blah 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Really light grey. Ohio is bland and gross. 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My friend Taylor. she doesn’t live very close so I don’t ever see her anymore :’( 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? I have a few I made over the summer. My favorite is just a bunch of daisies. I love daisies <3 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Lol indifferent. That’s what today looks like, and pretty much everyday around here. 68: what’s winter like where you live? Well when I was younger, it was snowy and bright and fun. Now it barely snows, and it’s always gloomy and muddy and gross. My basement flooded a couple days ago because it rained so hard.  69: what are your favorite board games? MONOPOLYYYY. I got a Dogopoly for Christmas hehe. I like Sorry and Clue a lot too. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Green tea, and the youthberry/ wild orangeblosson tea from Teavanna 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yeah pretty much. And I still always tell myself I won’t forget shit, and then I do. 73: what are some of your worst habits? Smoking cigarettes, sleeping too much, drinking pop instead of water, picking my nose lol. I’m twitchy and fidgety but that’s just the OCD and ADHD. 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Uhhhhhhhhh “Big fat faggot”. (that’s actually how he would describe himself, he likes going up to people and saying “I’m REALLY gay”) 75: tell us about your pets! I have my darling baby Mae Mae, she’s around 9(??) she’a a black mutt that looks like a bear/wolf lol. I got her from the Humane Society. Then there’s Bellatrix, who my mom got from the HS. She’s a brindle boxer, almost 4 years old. We have a 7 month old kitten named Hosta. My mom found her in the hosta bushes outside this summer, so we named her after the flowers lol. We also have a guinea pig, of my sister’s, named Alfie. He’s about 2? 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? I could use a shower. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink <3

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? I thought they were cute in Despicable Me, but it’s gotten way out of hand. 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Alex once bought me ice cream and flowers and made a sign that said “sorry for being a douche”. I don’t even remember what he did wrong, it was cute :3 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Well a few months before we moved in, I painted them purple. Then I decided that was boring like a couple weeks before we moved, and I got tihs cool 70s-looking (or even 30s really) floral wallpaper with like gold and pewter flowers and I put it on two walls. I painted the one wall orange, the tiny bit around the closet sage green, and the area around the door with chalkboard paint. Then I got mad one day about a year later and went and bought light green and covered the orange. I still don’t really know why lol. 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Dude what? I don’t stare at anyone’s eyes?  82: are/were you good in school? HAHAHAHHA. I got suspended for mooning someone. That’s all you need to know. 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Queen’s News of the World has a sweet cover. Def Leppard’s High N’ Dry, Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” single, of course. Green Day’s Dookie, Dio’s Holy Diver. There are aa TON but you know. I’m getting sick of typing lol 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I’m planning on getting a lot lol. Currently a Ginger Rogers close-up on my forearm. I have a Pooh sketch on my side, “You’re braver than you believe” (Pooh quote) written in my friend’s handwriting on my right shoulder, and “There’s still time to change the road you’re on” on my right foot (”Stairways to Heaven” lyrics). 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Yes, Marvel, Infinity Gauntlet is my favorite. (not including manga because I’m ready to be done with this lol) 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yeah, they’re cool! Currently I’ve been listening to To Pimp a Butterfly a lot, actually. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Star Wars (original 3), Back to the Future, A Clockwork Orange, Metropolis 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? A R T  D E C O, art nouveau 89: are you close to your parents? My mother. I don’t talk to my father much. He was abusive to me, he’s an alcoholic. 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I don’t really have any? I don’t live cities very much. 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to North Carolina for a wedding, that’s about all I can think of. Probably going camping. 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE ME BABY 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Well I’m mostly just at home doing nothing so it’s just kinda down and pushed back out of my face. But when I go somewhere it’s usually something pinup-y or 2 buns on top of my head. 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Taylor’s was December 29. But mine is Tuesday! :DDD 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Alex has a show tonight, so there’s that. 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? ”Remind me tomorrow” 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Don’t know, I’ve never taken one of those tests. I’ve started to, but I can’t really answer the questions right. My answer can go either way, my mood is always changing. I don’t believe it’s easy to pin down a BPD patient’s type. I’m a Capricorn, and I’m not really into Harry Potter. My IQ is pretty high though, lol. I’m proud of that. It’s the one thing I have haha. 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? I don’t remember, but I know I whined the entire time because I’m out of shape lol 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Uhhhh. My brain isn’t functioning at a very deep emotional level right now lol I can’t think of any? I guess “Blown Away” by Carrie Underwood, it reminds me of my father.  100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Neither. I don’t want to change the way things are now. Sure, I’d love to tell myself “Don’t gain twice your body weight” and “don’t drop our of high school or college” but like, Butterfly Effect. I know somehow that would make it so I never reconnect with Alex, or I end up dating someone I wasn’t happy with, or what if somehow I got in a car wreck and died as a result of something stupid? And I don’t want to see the future. What happens happens and I don’t want to live in anticipation.

Feel free to talk to me about any of this stuff! I welcome friends, I’m lonely haha

#i did it #it's been two hours #TWO #HOURS #long ass post #oops #me #personal #someone please read this #lol #I doubt anyone will #but the sound of my keys is nice #long #read me #my life is boring