#my stuff dazatsu vamps

[chouetteffraie]

the art of decadence [dazatsu] {vampire au}

read it on ao3!

---

Decadence

dec·a·dence

/ˈdekədəns/

noun

moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury.

-

Brown strands dangled lightly over his bare shoulders as he tilted his head, grinning invitingly. Atsushi watched them tickle his pale skin as they swayed ever so slightly, muscles wound so tight he felt like a spring. He mustn’t ponce...he mustn’t pounce...he mustn’t.

Every part of Dazai was beckoning for him to come closer. Atsushi wanted to run his fingers over Dazai’s skin, play with his hair, just touch Dazai without hurting him. He wondered how Dazai would react to his lips running down his neck and shoulders gently without expecting the sharp bite of his fangs. A pang of guilt shot through Atsushi’s stomach, eliciting a grimace. He desperately wished that Dazai didn’t have to associate his touch with pain. As adept at putting on masks as the man was, he couldn’t hide the few tears that fell after a particularly harsh bite from Atsushi. In the seconds before the pain, when Atsushi placed gentle kisses on his neck as if he were a doctor cleaning the area for a shot, he could practically smell his fear, punctuated by the sudden increase in his blood flow at Atsushi’s ear. Every time Atsushi pulled away, wiping his lips after drinking his fill, Atsushi always wondered why Dazai so eagerly volunteered himself for Atsushi’s feeding. After all, Dazai hated pain- why did he so willingly face it for Atsushi?

Even in the dimly lit room, Dazai could see how apprehensive Atsushi seemed, unease apparent on his features in the grayish early morning light. He physically beckoned him closer, holding his hand out curling one finger like an inchworm. “Atsushi-kun, you look so tired~” he mused. “And thirsty. Could you not find enough strays to sate your bloodlust?”

Atsushi cringed at that word, another reminder at the monstrosity he was. Though he knew Dazai was only teasing him in good fun, after the tiring night of hunting with little reward, everything felt like a blow. Head bowed, Atsushi trudged over to Dazai’s spot on the edge of the bed and collapsed in his arms, itching to feel his familiar warmth. He missed the calming heat of blood rushing through his veins, a sensation the monster that turned him robbed from him. Feeling so cold all the time, topped with how empty his stomach was, made Atsushi feel like little more than a hollow shell.

Dazai wrapped his arms around Atsushi and placed one hand on the back of his head, stroking his hair before slowly pushing Atsushi’s nose into his pulse point. His bandages had been loosened and he was shirtless- it was a hot, summer night, Atsushi noted- leaving his skin exposed for Atsushi. Without really meaning to, Atsushi took a sharp inhale of Dazai’s scent: the remnant of cologne he neglected to wash off, his shampoo from his barely-damp hair, and the most intoxicating of them, his blood. 

Dazai felt Atsushi clutch at his shoulders, fingers digging in so tightly they might leave a mark, and responded by loosening his grip on his head. “Atsushi, go ahead and bite me. You need it. I’ll be okay.”

“N-no,” Atsushi stammered, trying to pull further away from Dazai. He hated that Dazai was so willing to be used with little regard for his own well being. Atsushi wanted to care for him, protect him from everything he could. Yet Dazai seemed dead set on being Atsushi’s own personal food bank with an eagerness that sent Atsushi’s dreams of normalcy crashing down. He shouldn’t get his hopes up, anyway. He was a vampire, a monster. There was no salvation for those like him, no paradise to retire to. Even a relationship they managed to find solace in came with the price of hurting their partner when in need of blood. Surely starving to death must be a better end than draining your lover of life. “What if I hurt you? What if I accidentally turn you? What if I drain you completely?”

“You won’t, Atsushi,” Dazai reassured, rubbing circles on Atsushi’s back. “Besides, I rather like being useful.”

“Useful?” Atsushi all but scoffed in disgust, spitting the word out as if he hated how it tasted. His lips brushed gently against his skin, running across a scab from the last time he bit Dazai. “I don’t spend time with you because you’re useful.”

“Ah, of course not. But that doesn’t mean I can’t strive for it,” Dazai murmured. Atsushi made no signs of movement until Dazai gently urged him closer. Atsushi’s body followed gladly, desperate to be as close to Dazai as possible. All but his brain found comfort in the proximity. Dazai stopped him before he could form another sound argument with a firm, “Eat.”

“N-no, you don’t really-”

“Atsushi,” Finally Dazai leaned away from Atsushi to look him in the eyes, a stray moonbeam illuminating his face for a moment to show the determined look in his eye. “You’ve spent a long time hunting for your food and you’ve come up with nothing. You’re hungry. You deserve a break. Now, eat.”

There was a brief silence between the two of them, hollow and still. Atsushi’s hesitance sent a sharp pang through Dazai’s gut, akin to a wooden stake. It would figure the boy before him was one of the sweetest, most conscientious people he’d ever meet. Despite having no soul, Atsushi proved to have more heart than anybody in the city with how gently he treated everything. Maybe losing your life made you appreciate it that much more. You never know what you have until you lose it, Dazai supposed.

Still, Dazai wished that, when compared to a soulless, undead creature, he wasn’t the one that seemed like the monster.

“Are you sure?” Atsushi asked one final time, acquiescence clear on his features.

“Of course. You like human blood much more than animal blood, right? You’ve been such a good little vampire, Atsushi-kun. I think you deserve a treat.”  Dazai leaned with one hand on the bed, tilting his head away from Atsushi to provide easier access for his fangs. The other hand found itself tangled in his silvery hair again, distracting Atsushi from the words of admiration and trust he could’ve said. “Let me prove to you how useful I can be, Atsushi.” If you like my blood so much, surely I must be human. Let me prove how human I am. Let me use you to feel human.

Dazai let out a sharp gasp as he felt Atsushi’s fangs pierce his skin, the familiar tingling taking his mind off the pain almost immediately after. He felt Atsushi’s soft lips close around the wound and tightened his grip on the boy’s hair, which earned him a small grunt. How he wished he could enjoy being the target of Atsushi’s affections, indulging in the gentle smiles and soft kisses Atsushi seemed so fond of giving. He felt completely and utterly detached, however, a fact that hurt more than the boy’s fangs in his neck. No matter what he did, Dazai would never be able to truly receive a good gift, even when it was too stubborn to leave him. Dazai knew he didn’t deserve such a blessing, yet he took it and tainted it anyway. To keep Atsushi to himself and use him for his own selfish whims was decadent and monstrous, two words Dazai felt paired nicely with his own personality.

Atsushi pulled away suddenly, startling Dazai. Wiping his mouth of the blood with the back of his arm, he watched with wide eyes as Dazai gave him a loopy smile and fell back. Truth be told, Dazai wasn’t as lightheaded as he pretended to be- though his mind was blurry, he felt more like his head was cast iron with the degrading thoughts bouncing around his head. He allowed Atsushi to help him onto the bed correctly, ignoring his barrage of concerned questions. He merely pulled Atsushi down next to him and held him tightly, using him as an anchor to prevent his thoughts from straying too far. It normally didn’t work, but that didn’t stop Dazai from trying. 

“Thank you,” Atsushi murmured into Dazai’s shoulder once he seemed content that he was alright. “I hope I didn’t drink too much.” Dazai hummed in response, ignoring how he only felt less human after making Atsushi worry for him. As the sunlight started to trickle in the room, Atsushi closed his eyes and let love professions die on his tongue, trying to forget how the warm blood in his stomach seemed to only make him feel emptier.

#dazatsu #dazai x atsushi #dazushi #dazai osamu #atsushi nakajima #dazai #atsushi #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #vampire au #my stuff #my stuff dazatsu #my stuff dazatsu vamps #my stuff bsd