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kingneptunesthinninghead · 3 years

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How much do you weigh? what a weirdly personal question

If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? sitting in the shade reading a book

Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? yes but not in a way that will ever be truly fulfilling

What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? i live in a very rural area so i grew up with hunting for sport extremely normalized but once i actually developed and used my critical thinking skills i realized how morally reprehensible it is. literally just begging these people to use their brains.

Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? eh its pretty fast

Have you ever been someplace tropical? florida lmao

Are you sensitive to caffeine? somewhat. i dont really consume it that much

How do you usually get around? driving myself

Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? no bc i’m generally pretty independent unless i reallyyyy like someone

What do you think about Kim Kardashian? neutral

Can you speak any French? je parle un peu français

Favorite yogurt flavor? i’m lactose intolerant so i recently tried dairy free yogurt and i hated it sooo i guess none

How much money do you have in your wallet right now? i dont have any cash in my wallet rn lol

What bottled water brand do you like? deer park or aquafina

Your favorite way to eat chocolate? brownies

How often do you listen to country music? sometimes.

Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? neither

Last surgery you had? my wisdom teeth surgery

Have you ever played guitar? no but i wish i could

Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? um i dont think so

What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? a little more confidence

Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? maybe

Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? i dont have very many online friends anymore but when i had a bunch i loved talking to them

Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? only for something i really like.

Do you have any stickers on your laptop? a bunch

Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? early in the morning so then i have the rest of the day to myself when i get off

Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? i have a workout app but that’s it.

Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? my mom, sister, and my 2 best friends

If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? probably the women’s suffrage movement or the civil rights movement

Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it?i want to tell him how i feel but i’m afraid i’ll ruin the friendship

What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? wear a tampon i’m sorry but i can’t do it

Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? no

Are you well-known by people in your area? eh somewhat

Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no and i dont want to

What's your favourite type of bird? owls!!

What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? i’m watching loki, hsmtmts, planning to watch s2 of never have i ever, and i started one piece but i haven’t watched in a while

Have you ever dated a smoker? no but that might change😳

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? no

Have you ever been a member in a band? No.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No.

Do you have separate emails for personal and business? i have my school email and personal email

Have you ever missed a flight? no

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? i think so.

Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? i literally rode in my best friend’s convertible last night lmao

Why did you last need to use a band-aid? i dont remember

What fruit do you eat most often? bananas and clementines

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? maybe my great uncle?

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? no but i’ve been in a few on insta and twitter.

Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? i don’t straight up drink milk but i love things made with almond milk.

If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? elsa i want ice powers

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? sometimes but normally during the day i’m in the living room with my family

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Yep.

Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em.

What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? i’ve looked up a few people’s houses on zillow in my day.

Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? absolutely, you shouldn’t hit anyone

What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? my top 3 are princess and the frog, tangled, and frozen 2. i also love the little mermaid

Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. idrk

“Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? it depends on what it is. it should also be mixed with some loving or praise talk imo

What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? i LOVE italian food specifically fettuccine alfredo and i also love asian food such as general tso’s, sweet and sour chicken, lo mein, shrimp fried rice, LUMPIA 🤤

How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? i’ve always liked my hair color and thickness. i always go back and forth between growing it out long and cutting it short bc i can never choose which i like more also it has lots of red undertones so i’m thinking about dyeing it a deep red

How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? hypothetically it would be a red flag to me. a clear sign they haven’t moved on from the past

Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? a good smelling cologne on a man will quite literally make me bust a nut.

Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? i’d want them to unless it didnt fit or something

What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? i’m very close with my family so i’ve always loved the idea of having one of my own with my future spouse

Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? i definitely have ideas for my wedding and i would want it to go a certain way according to our plan but in the end if things go wrong or plans change it wouldn’t matter as long as i’m marrying the loml.

Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? i wouldn’t consider it cheating if he was just watching but i would be angry that he hid it from me

How old is too old for trick-or-treating? i dont think it matters unless ur posing a danger to little children

Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? depends but mostly under

Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? i have nsync and harry styles shirts but thats it

Fries or onion rings? Fries.

True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. all the time but most of the time i forget them right after i wake up

Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? depends

Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah.

What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? i think raccoons are adorable but its kindaaaa hard to domesticate them

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? no bc my parents let me drink in the house and i’ve told them abt every time i’ve drank at college

How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? i would absolutely piss and shit on myself.

Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? no

The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? i would stop it even if i want to bc i don’t want them to regret anything and i wouldn’t want them to kiss me if they don’t like me bc it would hurt too much.

What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? i would love them all but something abt a guy taking the time to write a poem for me makes me melt

Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? no.

Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? halloween

What was the first website you had an email account on? gmail

Have you ever written a fanfic? YES AHSHDH.

Tattoos or piercings? tats for sure.

What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? the scene where alexei breaks the inmate’s wrist in black widow is SO GROSS i cringe every time

Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? definitely a little cozy one

Do you have a tutor for anything? No.

Who’s the best kisser you know? i’ve only kissed one person.

Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way.

(If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? no and i hope they dont

Do you have a deep voice? not really

Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? no thats dumb

Is there a Sonic where you live? yes i’m a whore for sonic

What do you like on your pizza? pepperoni or sausage

#surveys #survey

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hymn2000 · 4 years

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Ideal Confusion - MCU AU Fanfic - C1

(Title subject to change)

Story summary: Giving into the constant pressure from the press, Tony decides to put a rest to the rumours that Peter is his biological son - once and for all.

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series

Warnings/themes: family, family stuff, adoption, DNA test(s), pressure, peer pressure, social issues, mentions of alcoholism, mental health problems, potentially some minor medical inaccuracies

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 1 - Disturbing The Peace I've Found

Tony picked up the phone.

“Hello, Tony Stark speaking”

“Mr Stark! I’m a representative of Hardcastle DNA Testing, and we’d like to offer you a free-”

Tony slammed the phone down. Almost as soon as he did, his mobile started ringing. Tony answered it. It was his press manager, Marco.

“Hi”

“Hi Tony. Listen, I’ve had people on the phone all morning because of that story last week. You know forty-five different DNA companies have offered you free or discounted tests now. Forty-five! I’m surprised there’s that many around”

“There’s probably hundreds” Tony grumbled. “I’m not interested”

“Yeah, I know; that’s what I’ve been telling them all. I still thought you should know about it”

“Just hang up on the next one. Or tell them to piss off”

Marco laughed. “Duly noted”

“Are you any closer to figuring out who’s responsible for the story?”

“Nope. I think it’s just something some apprentice in the news room came up with, trying to break into the industry. You know, dragging up an old rumour and bigging it up. I’ll keep you posted”

“Thanks”

“Hey, dad?” Peter said, coming into the kitchen. “Can I-”

“Hold on, kiddo. Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Tony sighed. “Listen, Marco, I’ve gotta go: family stuff”

“Sure. Talk to you later, Tony”

“Talk to you later”

Tony hung up and put his phone down.

“Alright kiddo, what’s up?”

“Can I go out with Flo and Millie tonight? Macy’s in trouble so she can’t go out but there’s this fair on tonight that the rest of us wanna go to. It opens at like, five, so I’m not gonna be back super later or anything. So, can I go?”

Tony sighed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, sweetheart”

“Well, why not?”

“Because the press are all over us at the moment, you especially”

“Yeah, but they’re not gonna try anything at the fair, are they?”

“They might” Tony said. “Remember what I said? There’s no such thing as an off-duty journalist. If one sees you, chances are they’ll chase you for comments or confirmation or whatever. It’s a current story, cos of that article that came out last week”

“That article’s pure slander though!” Peter said. “Come on dad; let me go! It’s not like I’m gonna say anything to any reporters. Little Miss Selective-Mutism, remember?”

“Since when have you been Little Miss?” Tony shook his head and sighed. “I’m not sure, kiddo. I don’t want you getting hounded”

“...Please?”

Tony looked at him sorrowfully. He reached out, touching the boys face gently.

“Don’t look at me like that, sweetheart”

Peter looked up at him, trying to look as little and sad as possible. He could see Tony dithering.

“Stop with the puppy dog eyes!”

Tony tried not to crack.

“Tony?” Loki appeared in the doorway. “Is everything ok?”

Tony looked at him. “Yeah. Yeah. Peter wants to go out tonight, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. He’ll just get hounded by the press if they see him”

“That’s sensible” Loki said.

“But dad! Dads! I can look after myself. I won’t talk to anyone other than my friends and customer service staff, ok? And I won’t mention to article at all, I promise. Come on, please let me go!”

“No, your father’s right” Loki said. “It’s not a good idea for you to go out unaccompanied, not when we’re in the public eye this much”

“Well, why don’t one of you come with us then, if being unaccompanied is the big problem?”

“I’m too busy, sweetheart” Tony said. “I’ve got too much to do tonight”

Peter looked at Loki.

“I’m seeing Pepper tonight” Loki said. “It’s been on the calendar for too long for me to cancel now. We’ve already had to rearrange it twice”

Peter sighed heavily. “How about we make a deal? If I-”

“Peter, no” Tony said. “The answer’s no, and that’s that. I’m sorry, chick”

“What if I can find a chaperone?”

“Peter, stop it” Tony said. “I’m sorry, but you’re not going out. Not until everything calms down in the news”

Peter knew when it was a waste of breath arguing a point. He sighed heavily, and swallowed hard.

“Fine. I’m gonna go and text Flo”

“...I hate having to say no to him” Tony said once Peter was out of earshot. “He was gonna cry just then, did you notice?”

“It’s for the best” Loki said, quickly turning to switch the kettle on. “It’s safer this way”

“Mm...” Tony sighed heavily. “Poor little Peter. I’ve never known anything other than being famous, but since I’ve been a dad, I’ve really hated this part of it. Why can’t they just leave my family alone?”

“Easy: it makes for a good story” Loki said. “That’s all they care about. Even if every word of an article is fake, people will still read it if it’s got someone high-profile in it”

“Marco rang a minute ago” Tony said. “Said we’ve had forty-five different companies offering DNA tests for free or for cheap”

“They need to wind their necks in. How do they find the numbers?”

“I guess people have enough inside sources to find what they’re looking for” Tony checked his watch. “I’m behind schedule again because of this bloody thing. It’s incredible how much impact that bloody article has had”

“It was essentially just photos, wasn’t it?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, mainly. Photos comparing me and the kid, and a few comments about the adoption being a front”

“Just ignore it”

“I’m trying to, but it’s getting harder: we have this sort of ‘scandal’ far too often. Basically every interview I go to now, I get asked if he’s my biological child. It’s getting tiring”

“Why not just do the test to shut them up? There’s nothing to lose, especially since so many places are offering them for free” Loki suggested.

“What, and give them the satisfaction? No way!” Tony scoffed. “Besides, they’d probably fiddle the results just to get a big newspaper scandal going”

Loki shook his head slightly, pouring boiling water into his mug. “Well, we’ll just have to continue to ignore it then. Soon enough some other celebrity will do something outrageous like go out wearing make up or fall over on stage, and everyone will forget about it”

“I hope so. I’d pay the Kardashians to leak another sex tape just to get the press off my back at this point. I don’t want to have to keep letting the kid down. He’s fed up enough as it is without this kind of thing going on”

“He’ll be ok. He’s a resilient little thing; he’ll bounce back soon enough”

“Mm, I hope so” Tony sighed. “What time are you meeting Pepper?”

“Seven” Loki said. “So I’ve got plenty of time to catch up on that mountain of washing down in the laundry room”

“Yeah... Well, I’d better get on with all these emails. It’s got really out of hand recently”

“I’m not surprised. Well” Loki went and got the milk out of the fridge. “Good luck with it. I’d better be getting on too”

Tony nodded slightly. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by his phone going off. It was Marco again. He sighed heavily. It was going to be a long afternoon.

Peter wasn’t in a great mood that evening. Flo and Millie were going to the fair without him, which he supposed was fine, but it still made him feel a bit upset and left out. He was annoyed with Loki for going out, and annoyed with Tony for being busy, and at both of them for saying no. He knew he was being unreasonable, but he couldn’t help what he felt. His parents had totally freaked at the latest article. Peter didn’t really get it, because it wasn’t too unlike what they’d seen before. But something about it had really shaken them. It wasn’t just them either:- Peter’s aunts and uncles seemed to be in a bit of a spin about it too, and the phone had barely stopped ringing since it was published. Plus, the news was discussing it a lot now too, both on the television and the radio, and it was all over social media too. Peter wasn’t entirely sure why this particular article had blown up in the way it had, but it was a little confusing.

But even so, he didn’t see why he had to essentially be grounded because of it. He’d long since learnt not to talk to reporters, and due to his selective mutism, he physically couldn’t a lot of the time anyway. Which begged the question; why didn’t his parents trust him? Or, why were they so worried? Maybe they were just stressed. Or maybe they were just being overprotective. Tony had been a bit funny with him over the festive season, but they were back to being close now, mostly. Peter knew they were still upset about Loki’s infertility and the subsequent loss of any IVF baby. Maybe that’s why they were being overprotective and trying to protect him from something that wasn’t really a threat, because he was probably the only ‘baby’ they’d ever have. He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He didn’t suppose it made a difference anyway.

Peter gave Tony a shake, and Tony jumped awake.

“Sorry” Peter said, taking a step back.

“It’s ok, it’s ok” Tony mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I fell asleep”

“Yeah...”

“I haven’t been sleeping too well lately” Tony said.

He tapped his laptop, waking it up and unlocking it. He looked at the list of emails still to be read, and sighed. He closed the laptop and moved it onto the side table.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Um, I was just wondering what we were gonna do for tea?”

Tony checked his watch. “Oh god, is it that time already? You should’ve woken me up earlier, kiddo”

“I’ve been distracted”

“Oh right. Homework?”

“No, just... Other stuff”

Tony gave him a look. “Nothing dodgy, right?”

Peter gave him a look. Tony laughed slightly and shook his head.

“Alright kiddo. Come here”

Peter stepped closer, and Tony pulled him down onto the sofa, giving him a hug.

“So, what do you fancy for tea?”

“Uh-”

Tony’s phone starting ringing, interrupting them. Tony sighed and answered it.

“Hi, Marco” he monotoned.

“You need to turn on your TV” Marco said firmly.

“What?” Tony almost squeaked. “Why?”

“Just do it, now. Channel six”

Marco hung up. Tony looked at Peter, and Peter looked at him. Tony reached for the remote and turned the telly on. The news was on, and Tony’s heart started thumping when he saw the photo of himself and Peter behind the presenters.

“Dad-?”

“Sh, Peter”

Tony stared at the TV, listening hard.

“...It would hardly be a surprise” one presenter said. “Tony Stark’s reputation precedes him. For years he was known as a Playboy first and everything else second. Even now he’s married, he’s still known as the ex-womaniser, a man who’s probably been to bed with most every woman in the city, if not the state-”

“Dad, why are we watch-?”

“Sshhh!” Tony hissed, clapping a hand down over Peter’s mouth.

Peter twitched a bit, annoyed, but he couldn’t really pull away as his head was resting on Tony’s shoulder, not really leaving any room for movement. He scowled and looked back at the telly. He didn’t usually watch anything to do with the family on the news, but he supposed he didn’t really have a choice now.

“... People can call it a rumour as much as they want” the other presenter was saying. “But we all know there’s no smoke without fire”

“I’ve heard people argue that there are times people look like complete strangers” the first presenter said. “But I’m more inclined to listen to all those who have seen the similarities between Tony Stark and his ‘adopted’ son and thought them a little too similar for it to just be coincidence”

Presenter two laughed slightly. “Ha! Coincidence! Don’t they say the world is rarely so lazy? There’s a little too much ‘coincidence’ here for my liking. We know the story, don’t we? Stark’s son, he started out as an apprentice at Stark Industries, right? Sure, it’s said that he’s a clever kid, but how did he get picked? There’s no records of public applications, and if Stark was choosing from Midtown, the school Peter was attending at the time, why was he the one to get chosen? He lived in Queens, didn’t he? Nothing special by all accounts. He wouldn’t have been the only eligible candidate at the school, would he?”

“There’s never only one candidate” Presenter one said. “Surely there was a shortlist? But, like the applications, there’s no record of it - no physical record, anyway. Which of course leads us to the conclusion that Tony Stark was searching for an apprentice for S.I independently. Why? Well, I don’t suppose that’s important”

“Unless it was for himself, and not for the company. Personal gain as opposed to professional gain. Maybe the apprenticeship was a front”

“I see where you’re coming from! So perhaps Stark knew who the boy was. Maybe he’d always known the kid was his, and this was a way to get into his life”

Tony held tighter to Peter, so Peter could feel his pulse under Tony’s hand. He whined and struggled, and Tony moved his hand off his mouth and instead rested it on the side of Peter’s face. He rested his chin on his head too, holding him tight, eyes glued to the telly. Peter stayed quiet, watching too, wondering why Tony seemed so worried. Peter didn’t like hearing strangers talk about his life, but he accepted there was nothing he could do about it.

“It’s like a book storyline” Presenter two continued. “Wanting to connect with a long-lost child without uprooting everything the child had grown up to know”

“Of course, the boys parents were dead, weren’t they?” Presenter one said. “He’d been living with his aunt for most of his life. Which begs the question; did the boy know too?”

“Perhaps, and perhaps not. Of course when the aunt died, what was there to stop Stark taking his son? Yes, there’s the family friend story, which lead to the adoption story, but we know there’s been many articles saying it’s a front to try to keep the truth under wraps”

“That’s very true. Of course there’s the subject of names. The boy is Parker-Stark, not plain Stark. Is it an attempt to cover up-” Presenter one paused, a hand to his ear. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been told we’re going to have to stop there; we’re running out of time”

“Of course”

“So” Presenter one looked at the camera. “Is Peter ‘Parker’-Stark the biological child of Tony Stark? Tony Stark himself is yet to comment. Please Tweet or email us if you have anything to say on the matter. Coming up next, your local weather with Ian Macclesfield”

Tony turned off the television. There was a heavy silence. Peter dared wriggle, and Tony clamped an arm over the boys chest and picked up his phone.

“Marco, how the hell could you let this happen?!” he shouted as soon as the man answered. “I thought you were putting a stop to this!”

“I’m doing my best, but it’s not easy to overtake an entire media empire. Every single paper and station in New York is reporting slightly different versions of the same story, not to mention several national stations. I can’t control everyone, Tony” Marco shot back. “You need to think of what you want to stay in a statement. There’s no way anyone is going to let this go without a solid answer: it’s been going on for years now, and it’s a slow news month. Get that; slow news month. So you either need to suck it up or release a statement, because there’s only so much I can do for you”

Tony was quiet for a moment. He let go of Peter and stood up.

“I want my son out of the headlines. I don’t like having my family hassled like this! Why do people care so much anyway?!”

“People care about what the media tells people to care about. It’s a conspiracy; a family scandal; a secret - that’s what people like! It’s like with Elton John: no one really cared when he came out publicly, but when he started going bald, the press wouldn’t leave him alone. It’s low-rent, but that’s what people like. We both know the general public are as thick as two short planks”

“Well what can I do about it?! I’m not Elton John! And anyway, people don’t go on about his hair now! ...Do they?” he looked at Peter.

“No, they left him alone after he started wearing wigs and he told them so. Because then it wasn’t seen as a scandal or a cover up any more” Peter said.

Tony turned away from him. “Did you hear that?”

“Yes, I heard it” Marco said. “And he’s right”

“What’s so scandalous about this? It isn’t a scandal, and I’m not covering anything up!”

“Well, then you’ve got nothing to worry about, have you?” Marco paused, and sighed heavily. “Tony, I get it: it’s stressful and annoying. But so what? You’re used to this. Look, it’s late. I’m gonna call it a night on this matter, and you should too. Spend time with your kid or do your emails or something. I’ll call tomorrow and we’ll sort out the press release. Ok?”

Tony sighed in annoyance.

“Alright, fine” he huffed. “Goodnight”

“Night, Tony. Talk tomorrow. Bye now”

“Bye”

Tony ended the call. He went to throw his phone onto the sofa, but he wasn’t watching what he was doing, and he completely misjudged it, so instead of landing on the seat, it hit Peter hard on the forehead.

“Ow!”

“Oh fuck! Sorry, chick, I’m sorry!” Tony grabbed hold of him, checking his head. “Ouch! I didn’t think I’d thrown it that hard. Maybe we should get you an ice pack: your father’ll kill me if he sees you all bumped and bruised”

“At least you didn’t do it on purpose”

Tony kissed him hard on the forehead.

“OW! Dad!”

“Sorry! Oh god, I-... Ok, come on; let’s go and get you an ice pack”

Peter sat at the breakfast bar, holding an ice pack against the bump on his head, and watching Tony pacing the kitchen.

“Dad, you’re kinda making me nervous”

“Well, I am nervous” Tony said, continuing to pace. “This is getting blown totally out of proportion. I know how this goes. They’ll start turning up everywhere I go, following Loki around, following you around, all that kind of scummy paparazzi stuff. I’ll have to keep you off school, and-”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?”

“No, I don’t! I don’t want you and Loki hounded for a stupid news story. It’s not fair on either of you - or me. They need to leave you alone”

“Well, why don’t we do a DNA test, then? Once they’ve got the proof that I literally am just an adopted son, not a biological son, then they’ll shut up, right?”

“And give them the satisfaction? Absolutely not!” Tony said. “I told your father earlier: I won’t be bullied into it. Besides, all these companies will probably fiddle the results to get whatever outcome they want - because they want a good story and a good way to get more business. I’m not having “As Used By Tony Stark” splattered all over some dodgy DNA testing website and all over the news along with fake results”

“Dad, can you stop? You’re really putting me on edge”

Tony stopped. He sighed and sat down opposite Peter at the breakfast bar.

“Sorry, kiddo. All this is just really getting to me. It’s pretty tough to deal with to be honest”

“Mm...”

They were quiet for a moment, until Peter’s stomach rumbling loudly broke the silence.

“Sounds like your whale is singing again” Tony said. “What do you want to eat?”

Peter shrugged. “Whatever’s easiest, I guess”

Tony paused. He pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“Oh”

“What?”

“Loki...” Tony opened the text. “He saw the news thing. And he says there’s probably gonna be another little headline cos a reporter recognised him and tried to question him and he told them to fu- to go away. But not in a nice way”

“Mm”

Tony sighed again. “Anyway, do you wanna order a takeaway?”

“It’s up to you”

“I’m not that hungry” Tony said. “You decide”

“I’m not that hungry either”

“Liar. I heard your stomach just now”

“Well...”

Tony sighed and put his phone away. “Give us a clue, chick”

“I don’t know. Anything, I guess”

Tony stood up. “...Cheese on toast?”

Peter nodded, and Tony nodded back. That was simple enough. He didn’t have the energy to do anything complicated. He needed to think.

Loki was surprised at how quiet the house was when he got home later that night. He found Tony in the living room, biting his thumb and staring at a blank Google search page on his laptop.

“Tony?”

Tony nodded slightly, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“Are you ok?”

“Mm”

Loki sat down beside him and closed his laptop.

“Where’s Peter?”

“Bed”

“I see” Loki sighed. “I’m sorry about my text. It just slipped out. He might ignore it; lots of reporters get told to fuck off - and worse. But I still thought you should know”

“Mm... You saw the news thing”

“Yes. It was on where we were” Loki said. “It’s all nonsense and clutching at straws, you know that”

“I know” Tony said, moving his laptop aside and finally looking at Loki. “It’s still getting to me though”

“I know” Loki sighed. “What’s different this time? Is it because of what happened last year?”

“Maybe. What do you think?”

“I think it might be. I’m not sure. Unless it’s a premonition of something to come”

“What kind of something?”

“I don’t know” Loki said. “Maybe something’s going to happen”

“Mm...”

“Something definitely feels different this time” Loki said. “We’ve had similar articles before”

“I know, but not like this. It’s so widespread. So insistent. It sounded so much more like gossip before”

“It’s still gossip now. People are inventing facts to suit their shows and articles. Have you sorted a press release yet?”

“No. Marco’s gonna ring again tomorrow and sort it with me”

“What has Peter had to say about all this?”

“Not much” Tony said. “He said what you said; that we should do a test just to shut them up. And I said to him what I said to you”

“I see. Is he bothered by it all?”

“No more than usual. I think he still finds it a bit weird hearing facts about his life coming from people he’s never met. I mean, the fact he was orphaned and lived with May before coming here are common knowledge, even if the deeper facts aren’t”

“Yes, that’s true” Loki said. “Still...”

“He’s just a baby, little Peter. He shouldn’t have to worry about any of this kind of stuff”

“I don’t think he’s worrying, for what it’s worth” Loki said. “I think he’s more worried about you and your reaction - and me and mine - than he is about the thing itself”

“Maybe...”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“Tell people to stop their stupid fantasy tales and mind their own business” Tony said. “Maybe consider home-schooling again”

“You can’t take him out of school just because reporters are interested in the family” Loki said. “They’re hardly going to march into an elite secondary school to question him. They wouldn’t have the audacity - and besides, his selective mutism is as common knowledge as his last name nowadays. They’d be wasting their time even if they had the gall to do it”

“They’d better stay away from my kid” Tony put his arms around Loki and rested his head on his chest. “I really hope this blows over soon. It’s really playing with my anxiety. Plus I hate that I had to keep Peter in tonight. He’s more upset about that than he’s letting on”

“I can imagine...”

Tony lifted his head, looking at him. “What?”

“Is he still friends with Macy? He doesn’t really talk about her much”

“Well, apparently she’s grounded. That’s what he said today. I think she’s been grounded a lot lately. I can’t say I’m surprised. She’s a right little madam. I can imagine her being a nasty piece of work when she’s a bit older” Tony said. “Maybe that’s why they haven’t been seeing each other much lately. I can’t imagine Flo’s ever been in trouble in her life, and Millie’s a good girl, so they’re hardly likely to get grounded and miss out like Macy”

“So you think they’re still friends; they just don’t see each other outside school much because she’s bad?”

“Yeah, that’s my guess” Tony rested his head back against Loki’s chest. “Has anyone at the hospital asked you about this news thing?”

“Not really. A few patients have mentioned it, but of course I won’t discuss it with people. Jo Jo mentioned it too, but he mentions everything about us that ends up in the papers. He thinks this story is a load of rubbish too”

“Good. At least some people have got their heads screwed on... You’re right though; something does feel different this time” he sat up. “Maybe we’re just being paranoid. Are you going to bed?”

Loki paused for a moment. “...Yes, I think so. Are you?”

“Later. I’m gonna try to get through some more emails first. Night”

“Alright. I’m going to check in on the baby first”

“Good idea. He seemed a bit funny last time I checked on him, but he said he was just tired. Maybe he’ll be a bit more open with you”

“Maybe” Loki gave him a hug and a kiss. “See you in a bit”

“Night darling. See you in a bit”

Peter was awake when Loki checked in on him.

“Hello, you”

“Hi, daddy”

“What are you still doing up? I got the impression you went to bed ages ago”

“I did” Peter said. “I’ve slept a little bit, but not much, and now I can’t get back to sleep”

“What’s the matter?” Loki asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Are you just not tired, or is something bothering you?”

“Well...”

“You can tell me” Loki said gently.

“I just... This latest news thing is really bothering dad, isn’t it? It’s hardly a new rumour, so I don’t get why it’s bothering him so much this time”

“Well, it’s much more persistent and in depth than it has been in the past. It sounds so sure of itself, and it’s being presented as fact” Loki said. “It’s very different to the old ones, and it’s lasting longer as a top story too. Your dad doesn’t like it when the press get you involved at the best of times”

“He never has” Peter said. “Even back at the start when we were just getting to know each other. Although I think that might have been more about protecting the fact that I’m Spiderman. More than anything else, anyway”

“You might be right there, although he’s definitely cared about you for you and not for Spiderman since not that long after he found you. But since you became close to him, and especially since you came to live with us, it’s been much more about protecting his family. Do you understand?”

“I think so. He wants me to have as normal a life as possible, even though I’m Tony Stark’s son, so that includes keeping out of the press as much as possible”

Loki blinked at him. “Where did you hear that?”

“I overhead him talking to uncle Steve about it ages ago”

“I see” Loki said. “Well, it’s true. I think he wants to protect your feelings too”

“I wish he wouldn’t worry. I don’t like seeing him like this. He got really funny when we were watching that thing”

“Yes, he mentioned you were with him. I didn’t think you would have been”

“No?”

“No, so I was a little surprised when he told me. Are you ok about that?”

Peter shrugged. “He held me pretty tight, and that kinda hurt a bit. And I didn’t like seeing him getting all anxious and stuff. I think it would’ve been better if I hadn’t’ve been there”

Loki nodded. “And the news segment?”

“I still find it weird that people know who I am”

Loki stroked Peter’s hair gently. “Maybe you’d be better off just trying to ignore it all”

“Maybe. It’ll all blow over before too long anyway, won’t it?”

“I should think so” Loki said. “Now, do you need anything before I go to bed?”

Peter shook his head slightly. “No, I don’t think so”

“Alright darling” Loki gave him a quick kiss. “Goodnight sweetie”

“Night daddy. See you in the morning”

Loki tucked him in and left him, closing the door behind him. Peter waited until he was sure he was gone, and then reached under his pillow for his phone. He opened the website he’d been looking at.

As much as Peter knew what a DNA test was, it wasn’t something he’d really looked into before, but recent events had made him curious. Besides, the way Peter saw it, the easiest way to get the press off his families case was to do a DNA test - whether Tony agreed or not. It wasn’t like Peter couldn’t afford it himself, and he could be sneaky when he needed to be.

The information on the websites he’d found were informative without being overbearing or full of medical jargon. Basically, what he gathered was that you’d get results of 0% (excluded) or 99.99% (Paternity Practically Proven). It was simple: excluded meant they weren’t the father, and Paternity Practically Proven meant they were. Ignoring the sciencey bits, Peter concluded the ‘Practically Proven’ bit and the 99.99% were a back-covering measure. Still, simple enough. He didn’t read into that bit too much though, because he knew it would never be relevant to him.

He read the information for the home DNA test kit instead. The website he was on said you would get the results in 3-5 working days. Although it said it was recommended if available, you didn’t need to include a DNA sample from the mother, which was a great relief, as was the fact that the service was completely confidential. The website also stated results would be sent by email unless otherwise requested. This was good, because it meant intercepting the post wasn’t going to be an issue. Well, he’d have to intercept it for the actual post, but he could order it so that it would arrive on a Saturday, which would mean he’d definitely be about to get to the post before his parents. It said it was discreet packaging, but still.

The website was pretty reassuring, talking about its credibility and experience and accuracy and legality and everything else Peter needed to know about to put his mind as rest. It all seemed pretty simple. Collecting the samples was just oral swabs for cheek cells. Tony was a pretty heavy sleeper nowadays, so Peter was fairly confident that he’d be able to get Tony’s sample easily enough without him knowing.

Peter was starting to feel pretty confident about his idea, until he clicked onto the page about how to take samples, just to fact check. It listed everything that would be included in the kit, and he stopped short when he was a few lines down.

‘ - Consent form; this form will authorise laboratory testing. Without it properly filled out, we will not be able to analyse your samples’

Peter stopped for a minute. That would mean Tony would have to sign it as well. He hadn’t realised. From what he’d read on other websites (and checked on Wikipedia) it was only the UK where the Human Tissue Act meant you couldn’t DNA test someone without their written consent. He was certain he could just forge Tony’s signature, the way he did with some letters from school.

Peter shook his head and carried on reading, but it was hard to focus on the instructions. When he reached the bottom of the page, he felt uncomfortable, and guilty: guilty that he’d so easily considered not only doing a DNA test behind his parents back, but also potentially breaking the law and destroying the trust they had in him by forging a signature on said DNA test.

Peter closed the browser and shoved his phone under his pillow. He lay down and pulled the covers up over his shoulders, and hugged his toy seal close. No, he couldn’t do a DNA test behind his dad’s back. It was a silly idea anyway. Even if it was possible, Tony would never forgive him if he found out he’d deceived him. Peter sighed. Well, it wasn’t really his business anyway, and he knew that Tony wasn’t his biological father, but he was his father all the same. He’d adopted him, hadn’t he? So that made him family. He didn’t need any test to know that. Like Tony said; why give the paparazzi the satisfaction?

Peter snuggled down in bed. This would all blow over soon anyway.

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

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