Tumgik
#no like you really don’t understand I will hate stephen moffat forever for what he did to her
grandadtwelve · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the doctor and river song
moon song by phoebe bridgers
229 notes · View notes
ot3-watch · 3 years
Text
Episode 1: The Nigerian Job Rewatch
Nate is so far beyond done at this point it’s hilarious. “I want to hire you” “FUCK OFF MAN I’M BUSY DRINKING MYSELF TO AN EARLY GRAVE”
“I need you to steal them back…” WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN VICTOR? WHAT, DID YOU THINK THE BEST INSURANCE INVESTIGATOR WASN’T GOING TO FIGURE OUT YOU WERE GOING TO DOUBLE CROSS HIM? He’s so stupid I can’t. 
“Parker is insane.” No. She just has a little trouble. Don’t DO THIS to her Nate.
“They work alone,” not for looong.
And… there it is! IYS. The most overused villains and this coming from a doctor who fan who sat through the daleks coming back EVERY SINGLE SEASON after being destroyed
Why do they all sound so weird? Like the dialogue does NOT sound normal
How tf did Eliot win in that scene tho? We see how long it takes him to fight later on like I just do not get it. ANd the tea isn’t even scathed? How? Everyone talks about The Big Bang Job’s shootout scene as being super unrealistic, but honestly, it barely registers compared to this one.
“You’re precisely why I work alone.” Yeah, because you’re at risk of falling in love otherwise Mr. Heart Eyes.
I’m remembering how much I did NOT like Parker in the beginning and I don’t like that. I love Parker but early Parker was eh.
PARKER YOU CAN’T JUST THROW THE GLASS. THAT’S EVIDENCE PARKER. YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE PARKER. SOMEONE’S GOING TO KNOW PARKER. 
You expect me to believe that Parker is a world class thief who wouldn’t think to count the haircuts? They keep making everyone else look dumber to make Nate look smarter which makes NO SENSE because honestly, it makes it hard to believe that the other three survived on their own without Nate to guide them. WHICH THEY DID! AND THEY WERE THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT THEY DID. WTF
“That’s what I do.” AKA THE MOMENT ALEC HARDISON BECOMES AN ELIOT STAN
JENNY 8675309????
 “I know you children don’t play well with others” He’s already a dad i can’t.
If they knew about this plan and had the materials to pull it off, why did no one think of it? 
ALSO HOW TF DO THEY GET THE MAKE UP ON SO QUICKLY IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE
How did the burn scam even work? Like i get it, make him uncomfortable so he won’t ask questions but like… they thought no one was in the building? The elevators were shut down? Why did he not question it? How stupid????
The black king/white knight metaphor was honestly the worst part of the first episode like it bothers me so much and I cannot effectively come close to explaining why
Where does Nate live? Why is his place so fancy? HE’S UNEMPLOYED RIGHT NOW AND BANKRUPTED HIMSELF TRYING TO HELP SAM. “It’s a hotel,” my sister says. IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A HOTEL ROOM? ANd that doesn’t explain how he affords a hotel room that nice.
….Why didn’t Eliot just disarm Hardison? We know he can. I don’t get it.
If you knew the place was gonna blow, why didn’t you run Nate? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS NATE
Eliot’s already putting himself in danger to help Hardison up. YOUR HONOR THEY’RE IN LOVE. THEY’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND THEY’RE IN LOVE.
“Do you trust me?” NO. NO NATE. NO I FUCKING DON’T.
I feel like passing that phone through the grate should not have worked.
YEAH HARDISON. MUG IT FOR THE CAMERA
Eliot’s accent I LOVE HIM “Can you hold, son?” FOREVER FOR YOU.
How are the state police so fucking stupid i can’t
They literally… they just dumb everyone down to make Nate look smarter and it SUCKS
Ah, the first Hardison safe house. 
“You won’t get within 100 yards” HE’S ELIOT FUCKING SPENCER I BET YOU ANYTHING HE CAN
“He didn’t pay us… I take that personally.” I-- Parker if you’re dead you can’t make more money. Parker? It’s important to me that you know this, Parker.
The websites they’re looking at are so obviously fake. 
Nate? Nate it’s just a picture. DUbenich can’t hear you, Nate.
“He used my son” I cannot explain how much overexposure has made me NOT CARE ABOUT FUCKING SAM
“What the hecks a Sophie” That, Eliot. That’s a Sophie. 
Honestly? My favorite character introduction in this episode. 
WHY DO THEY ALL TALK SO WEIRD IN THIS EPISODE? THEIR VOICES ARE SO OFF WHAT THE FUCK?
“I’m a citizen now. Honest.” YEAH FUCKING RIGHT IN WHAT WORLD
Eliot with the snacks, he’s always bringing food to his fam it’s amazing
“That’s an odd thing for you to know” “That’s an odd place for you to be” ...why am i reading a sexy sort of tension in there???
And Nate’s SMILING at it
Ok but how does Nate know about plane schematics? 
Sophie’s accent… none of them are that accurate but this one felt especially weird
Eliot playing the IT tech is everything
Also the reference to the IT Crowd by Parker is *chef’s kiss*
HE’S SO CUTE THOUGH
I’m just a simp for Eliot Spencer okay?
“I know you’re manipulating me, Anna.” Yeah but you’re still gonna fall for it, aren’t you? You stupid, stupid man.
Eliot’s so sweet though. He’s just trying to make friends. 
Like really though, he’s so standoffish and stoic, but the second he has the chance, he tries to bond and he’s so gregarious. Like, it makes so much sense that he has so many friends all over he place. 
“Eliot, we’re not friends,” STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE NATE. I HATE YOU NATE. HE’S JUST TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND NATE. 
Hardison gliding by in the wheelie chair… he’s such a goof and a mood and i love him.
...Hardison… Hardison you can hack anything… Hardison why didn’t you put them in the building directory? IT’S A DIGITAL DIRECTORY YOU COULD HAVE DONE IT THIS WAS SO UNNECESSARY
Nate, EVERYONE CAN SEE YOU!! hoW DOES HE NOT GET ARRESTED???
THERE”S A COP CAR RIGHT THERE HOW THE FUCK DID THAT WORK
...is there anyone Sophie doesn’t have sexual chemistry with in this episode? Like, seriously, i think it’s just Hardison. She and Nate are obvious, and she and Eliot have that moment, and then… did they not put them in the directory just to have Parker and Sophie make heart eyes at each other for a few seconds?
HOW DID ANYONE WATCH THIS SHOW AND EVER THINK SOPHIE AND PARKER WERE STRAIGHT THO
Dubenich sounds like Wallace Shawn and looks like Stephen Moffat and I HATE HIM. Wallace Shawn is great, and i love him but DUBENICH CAN DIE
This looks like such a boring party why would anyone want to be there. THERE’S DAY DRINKING FOR GOODNESS SAKE EWWW WHY (okay maybe i just hate alcohol. I hate it more in professional settings.)
“Sir, I can take your underpants.” OKAY HIGGINS. WEIRD FLEX BUT OKAY.
Parker and Hardison look so smug walking out of the building i love it. 
...why don’t you want the money Nate? YOU COULD GET A LOT MORE MONEY NATE. TAKE THE GODDAMNED MONEY NATE
And today on “I Will Never Understand the Way the Stock Market Works…” Like i get the basic idea but like… how do you make money if it’s gonna fall that much? HOw.. how does this work?
NO THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION TO EXPLAIN ECONOMICS TO ME I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE STOCK MARKET
“Somebody kiss this man so I don’t have to” you will. One day, Eliot, you will. 
So, fun fact. Supposedly, their score was $32,761,349.05 each. Which doesn’t really seem like a lot of money to me? Like, at least definitely not enough for Nate to do with it what he does? Like, maybe I just have a really difficult time fathoming that much money? Like, don’t get me wrong, I’d love just a taste of that but like, also? It really seems like not so much? … And further on “This blogger does not understand budgeting.”
ELIOT JUST ADMIT YOU WANT PART OF A TEAM
WHY DOES SOPHIE SOUND SO WEIRD??? WHAT THE FUCK
Okay, also, i have a question. These people, at the end, this is their first client, right? So why does it look like they haven’t seen each other since they took down Dubenich in the homecoming job? WHAT?
The SUITS THO
OKAY FINAL THOUGHTS: 6/10. Not the best Leverage episode, and certainly not the best character episode. There were a LOT of kinks to work out. Things got sorted too well. And I REALLY HATE NATE THIS EARLY ON. I’ve also never loved the “this guy is an asshole but he’s smarter than everyone else and really good at what he does so it’s fine” trope that you see in so many shows like Leverage. And they really really dumb people down early on to make him seem smarter. But like… there’s a reason I kept watching, you know? Also... I remember why it took me a while to warm up to Parker and Sophie. LIke, they’re badass but I still took a while and I remember why. 
73 notes · View notes
Text
Moffat Era Rewatch: The Husbands of River Song
Tumblr media
River Song needs help from her husband to murder her husband, except she doesn’t know he’s her husband...
Warning: Spoilers Sweetie 
This is my favourite festive special after ‘A Christmas Carol’. 
I think we can all agree that Twelve makes the best signs. 
Tumblr media
Nardole. I can say with certainty that I am not a member of the Nardole fanclub. I don’t detest him, but feel he’s not as funny as the show clearly thinks he is and was an unnecessary addition to season ten.  
Love how they got the biggest hood they could find to hide Alex’s enormous hair. 
Tumblr media
This is the face of someone who knows they are going to get lucky tonight. 
Tumblr media
“RIVVVVAAAHHH!!!” He’s just so happy to see her. Assuming ‘The Name of the Doctor’ was the last time they were together, it’s been close to a thousands years since he last saw her. 
“How do you know me?” “Well, it's a tiny bit complicated. People usually need a flowchart.” Having River not know that Twelve is the Doctor is one of the best ideas Moffat has ever had. 
First and only time Alex Kingston’s name has been in the opening titles.
“Yes, that's who you're married to? Not anybody else?” Aww, he’s so jealous.  
“You have given me days of adventure and many nights of passion.” I’m not at all surprised to discover that River had sex with a giant robot body. 
Twelve’s reaction is priceless. This is the best episode for Capaldi reaction faces.  
Tumblr media
“There's something in his brain.” “You could have fooled me.”
“I basically married the diamond.” Do we count the diamond as one of her husbands?       
“You're talking about murdering someone.” "No, I'm not. I'm actually murdering someone.” 
Her second wife. Who was the first? 
Sonic trowel. Brian would be so proud. 
Tumblr media
“We're being threatened by a bag! By a head in a bag!” He’s having so much fun right now. After what he just went through he deserves this. 
I’m always amazed by how Alex has instant chemistry with whoever is playing the Doctor. This is the only time she and Peter have worked together on the show and yet it feels like they’ve been doing this forever. 
Tumblr media
Jealous Twelve is the best Twelve. 
Tumblr media
Damsel!
That look when you realise your wife has been going behind your back with your wife. 
Tumblr media
“Oh. My, God!” This is probably Peter Capaldi’s finest moment as the Doctor. 
Tumblr media
“My entire understanding of physical space has been transformed! Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, thrown in the air and snogged to death! My grasp of the universal constants of physical reality has been changed forever.  Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly.”  
Not only has she been stealing his TARDIS she’s installed a drinks cabinet! 
Tumblr media
He still can’t accept that River is a better driver than he is. 
“You're very quick.” "Yes. For a Doctor.” “Yes.” “Seriously?” Like I said, this is the best episode of Capaldi reaction faces.    
Tumblr media
“Does sarcasm help?” "Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did?”
“Is the gentleman here for dinner?” "Yes, he is.” "Excellent! I'll have the chef prepare him immediately.”
Only the Twelfth Doctor could look at River in that dress like this. 
Tumblr media
“The man who gave me this was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary you were going to need.” *shipper tears*
“We honour thee, we prostrate ourselves in your name, Hydroflax.” Awkward. 
I think River’s just met wife number three. 
Tumblr media
How dare he read her diary. 
“And you've just been to Manhattan.”  *heart breaks all over again*
“The Doctor does not and has never loved me. I'm not lying.” “Confirmed. The life form is not lying.” *shipper agony* 
“When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. And if I happen to find myself in danger, let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough, or sentimental enough, and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me!” This is mixture of strategy and confession. She telling them all this because she needs to keep them distracted until the escape plan kicks in, but part of her really wants to get all of this off her chest and what better time than when surrounded by strangers who are all going to be dead in a few minutes. 
“Hello, sweetie.” *shipper happy crying*
Tumblr media
“How could you know?” "I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.”
“What do you think, by the way?” "Of what?” “My new body.” "Oh, I'll let you know. I've only seen the face.”
“He had a bad day on the market....sorry, I appreciate that wasn't very funny, but I couldn't help saying it.”
River married Stephen Fry?
So was Cleo wife number one or two? 
“That's Darillium!” *shipper so not ready for this*
“This is my job!” "I've been doing it longer.” "I do it better.” That is true.    
“River, not one person on this ship, not one living thing, is worth you.” “Or you.” *shipper can’t handle these emotions* 
It wasn’t enough to just take her there, he made sure they built a restaurant right there, with a great view and made sure he got the best table in the house. 
“Now that, my dear, is a suit.” That’s because it has a tie and we know River loves ties. 
The sonic!!! 
He’s scanning her brain! He’s saving her! *shipper heart shattering* 
Tumblr media
They finally made it to the Singing Towers. 
“Spoilers” That word has never been said with more heartbreak. 
Tumblr media
“Every night is the last night for something. Every Christmas is the last Christmas.”   
“No, Doctor, you're wrong. Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. It just means time. A little time. But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it?” 
“They've been there for millions of years, through storms and floods and wars and time. Nobody really understands where the music comes from. It's probably something to do with the precise positions, the distance between both towers. Even the locals aren't sure. All anyone will ever tell you is that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect, when you least expect it but always when you need it the most there is a song.” *shipper blubbering*
24 years!!!
“I hate you.” "No, you don't.”
If Chibnall hadn’t been tied up with Broadchurch, this would’ve been how Moffat’s tenure as sowrunner ended and I honestly can’t think of a more perfect ending than this, bringing the Doctor and River’s story full circle in the most beautiful way possible.
Tumblr media
Next Time: The Return of Doctor Mysterio
59 notes · View notes