#not that i recall. usually it's smthg like 'are you ok? no? that's rough buddy. shove it down.' bc that's what he was taught

[spnintheyearofourlord]

Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.

#destiel #deancas #dean winchester #supernatural #just thinking my little thoughts #don’t look at me I’m having a moment #something something no greater devotion than that to his brother who he’s praying for in the former yet this implies #the same love and desperation fueling that must apply to Cas too #do y'all see what I'm saying? does the connection make sense? #especially s8 going forward Dean often takes the cake for toxicity I’m sorry it’s just true. HOWEVER. we need to talk about the softness #that man shows to Cas in this season specifically. #for ex: after Cas sternly shuts him down in 8x08 he doesn't get defensive and snap back like Dean often does #he goes over and sits on the bed across from cas and softly says 'talk to me.' like i'm sorry? has dean ever said that?? #not that i recall. usually it's smthg like 'are you ok? no? that's rough buddy. shove it down.' bc that's what he was taught #and mid-end of the prior season though his ‘don’t tell Cas the truth’ plan was not great it was pretty clear imo how deeply happy he was #just to have cas back. broken or not he’d rather have him. . #I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say that's why we're in the tags but it's just something about how Cas deeply betrayed them and we #know how intensely Dean can hold a grudge yet when they get Cas back Dean's softer with him than he ever was before. #and then searches monster land high and low for him even after Cas abandons him #and connecting the former and latter quotes up there it's pretty clear how deep that devotion runs #(platonically or romantically. to each their own reading. and not always healthily.) #because he's as well as admitted he begged for Cas in purgatory. every. night. #Dean 'I don't pray bc i don't beg and I'm not weak' #Dean 'I would do anything for sam so i'll beg for help' #Dean 'I prayed to you. I killed my way to you. did you hear my prayers?' #it's just really somethin'. #I have to wonder if Cas knows how big that is. He must right? #(for my own tags) #dean #spn s8