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valentineforlemonandcherry · 2 years

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Foxtail & Wolfsbane Part 20

Summary: Your lifelong obsession to hunt down the Nine-Tailed Fox has not gone as expected, and seventeen years later, you find yourself coming back to the place where it all started: Hogwarts. However, with Sirius Black’s escape from Azkaban and Headmaster Dumbledore’s hire of a certain Professor R. J. Lupin, you suddenly find yourself intertwined in the fates of those with whom you thought you had parted ways with long ago. [Multi-Post Story] [Rowan Scamander x Reader] [Remus Lupin x Reader] [Young Sirius Black x Reader] [Tristan Graves x Reader] [Severus Snape x Reader] [Warning: Story Contains Explicit Smut.] [Warning: Rough Sex.] [Warning: Light Degradation.] [Warning: Light Spanking.] [Warning: Nonconsent.] *Note: Rowan Scamander, Tristan Graves, Susana Holmes, Cas Carneirus, Henrietta Weiss, and Thomas Picquery are OC characters. *Please do not repost or copy my work without my permission. Thank You!

☾ Click Here for Foxtail & Wolfsbane Home Page (All Chapter Links) ☾

After that conversation with the Nine-Tailed Fox, the two of you were far more understanding of each other, and you shared the space of your soul much more willingly with her.

Severus made you Disguising Potions every month, and you usually relied on those. But every once in a while, even the Potion would fail to disguise the Fox peeking out of your appearance as her hunger grew to an uncontrollable state. Then, Severus would grudgingly let you into his room, and he’d let you share the bed for the night – though never to sleep in and never to make love in. It was an odd alliance between the two of you, and the growing familiarity between the two of you made it even more uncomfortable.

After spending the night together, you once accidentally called Severus “Sev” in front of all of the other professors. “Excuse me, you let your papers behind! Don’t you need them for class, Sev?” All of the professors witnessed this little slip-up. You’d blushed, and Severus had positively glared at you as he swiped the papers from your hands – and the two of you avoided each other like the plague for the next couple of months.

But then, something happened that forced the two of you together much more often: Harry James Potter arrived at Hogwarts. A bewildered little boy of eleven who looked exactly like his father, except for his bright green eyes and of course, that bizarre lightning-shaped scar on his head - you felt an immediate fondness for him.

So, at the end of Harry’s first year, when you suddenly received a message from Dumbledore, in the form of a silver phoenix Patronus, begging you to go down the trapdoor to protect Harry, with assurances that Dumbledore himself would soon be there, you rushed down to Harry’s aid without a second thought.

* * * * * * * * * *

You arrived just in time to see Harry reaching up to boldly grab Quirrell’s face, and Quirrell screaming in agony. You watched in terror as a dark cloud burst out of Quirrell’s chest.

The Nine-Tailed Fox within you let out a roar such as you had never seen before. That’s a broken soul! Such evil… It shouldn’t exist.

It’s Voldemort, you realized, and a terrible feeling of fear sprouted in your heart.

No time to feel afraid. It’s going for the boy! The Fox warned.

Sure enough, the dark, swirling cloud raced towards Harry.

“Harry!” you screamed. You rushed forward as fast as you could – but not fast enough.

Please! you prayed in your head. I can’t let Voldemort get to Harry! I have to protect Harry!

Hearing your desperate cries, the Nine-Tailed Fox took over, with her form bursting out of you. Your hands and feet lengthened into her strong paws, enabling you to bound forward with incredible agility. With a hard push off of your paws, you leapt into the air – and managed to land atop the dark cloud swirling over Harry. Clawing and biting ferociously, you managed to pull it off of Harry. The dark cloud – or rather, what was left of Voldemort’s mangled spirit, swirled around at you, hissing angrily.

With a loud, menacing snarl, you swiped at it with your paws, forcing it backwards. Then, you stationed yourself in front of Harry and paced before him, effectively shielding him from Voldemort.

Voldemort’s spirit leapt forwards, anyways, hoping to get the best of you.

You lifted your head and roared, fangs showing ferociously. Magical blue fire spurted from your mouth. Then, suddenly, all eight of your tails waved brilliantly in the air behind you.

Flash! A second later, a jolt of blue lightning flashed around the room, until it landed squarely on the dark cloud.

Voldemort screamed, in terrible pain as the lightning captured and tormented him. Finally, the dark cloud rushed off, up the stairs and away, out of the castle.

At that moment, Dumbledore appeared. He rushed gracefully down the stairs, with Fawkes the Phoenix flying low, just over his shoulder.

You instinctively turned and bared your teeth at Dumbledore, too, warning him to stay away. “Grrr…” The low rumble erupted menacingly from your chest.

Dumbledore paused. Then, his eyes flashed in understanding and he murmured quietly, “Professor?”

At this, the human part of your mind woke up just enough for the Nine-Tailed Fox to recognize that Dumbledore was not a threat. You softened your stance and you moved aside, allowing Dumbledore to approach Harry.

Dumbledore knelt over Harry, examining the young boy.

“Is he all right?” you asked. Only, it wasn’t your voice that spoke, but a voice as clear as the fresh winter air and as magical as the sound of wind chimes tinkling lightly.

Dumbledore glanced over at you. His half-moon glasses glinted, reflecting the fire that was still lighting up the room. “Yes, thankfully, he will be all right. You came just in time, Professor.” Then, Dumbledore turned and murmured, “Now, Fawkes, if you would, please…”

Fawkes let out a low, soft cry. The phoenix reached out and wrapped his beautiful tail around Harry’s wrist. Carrying Harry as easily as though he were but a feather or leaf, Fawkes lifted him up gently in the air and then flew out of the room, taking Harry to the Hospital Wing.

Dumbledore turned back to you. His bright blue eyes continued to sparkle with curiosity as he examined your form. “Will you return to your human self, Professor?”

“Yes. Eventually, the girl will overtake me again. Rest assured.”

“Ah, so it is spiritual possession,” Dumbledore confirmed. “I see. And if I may be so bold as to ask, what are the aftereffects of such external, full-bodied control?”

“Oh, she’ll be fine. Don’t worry your head so much, young man.”

“Am I young to you?”

“Of course you are. A mere sapling, seeing the sunlight for the first time.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “I must say, it’s refreshing to meet one who considers me young.” But his expression turned serious as he continued, “However, I must ask that you be careful with the girl whose body you are currently possessing. No matter how lively she is – and I assure you, she is very lively – her capacity to take on the physical form of an inherently spiritual creature must be limited and it must traumatize her body.”

You paused, cocking your head in surprise. “Do you think so? I have been trying to keep her as healthy as possible, but perhaps you are right. I have never possessed a human before.”

A frown deepened the lines on Dumbledore’s face. “We shall have to see. I have seen other creatures possess human bodies before but…” In his mind, the fate of Credence Barebone, overtaken by the Obscurial, as well as of Remus Lupin, who, despite his education at Hogwarts, could not overcome the physical stress and societal stigma of being a werewolf, played out.

With a deep and regretful sigh, Dumbledore gestured to the body of the now-dead Quirrell, lying in a crumpled heap before the Mirror of Erised. “Alas, this is the only fate that I am familiar with. That is why I worry.”

Your tails flickered uneasily behind you. The Fox thought, I only considered my starvation up until now. I considered it a guarantee that her soul would outlast mine because once she had healed, she would force me out. As such, I never considered the effects of my possession on her…

“I will take my leave,” Dumbledore informed you, interrupting your thoughts. “I had best make my way to Poppy as well, so that she doesn’t faint of shock herself upon seeing Harry.”

You nodded once.

“Once you are able, please take care of yourself – and of her,” Dumbledore said quietly. Then, he turned and walked back up the steps; his brilliant mind already pondering the many possible futures of Voldemort’s return.

* * * * * * * * * *

Three days ago, you had finally transformed back into your human self. Since then, the explosive use of the Nine-Tailed Fox’s power you had relied upon to save Harry caught up to you in full measure. The Fox was hungrier than ever, and you needed to refill her energy. The sheer want of some form of sensual energy made you feverish and barely able to stand up.

“Professor, you’re looking awfully pale,” Fred greeted you, while jauntily placing his textbook on his shoulder.

“Fred, that’s not a nice thing to say,” Angelina Johnson berated him, as she walked by him.

“And you know, you can take your cloak off. You are inside,” George pointed out.

“In your own classroom, mind you,” Lee Jordan added.

By now, the entire class was staring at you.

Unable to help himself, Fred asked you excitedly, “Are you a vampire?”

“Fred!” Angelina chided him.

You stared at your class. Sweat began to gather at your forehead. You felt so feverish. Finally, you mumbled, “Um, yes, something like that, I s’pse. Anyways, if you could all turn to – to page two hundred and twelve, we’ll start learning about – uh – baby ghouls today.”

“Baby ghouls?” Angelina said, wrinkling her nose in confusion. “S’ that really a thing?”

“‘Course it is,” Fred sniped back. “After all, you’re a baby ghoul, Angelina.”

Angelina threw her textbook at Fred.

“Class!” you called desperately. “Class, please! It’s just a name I made up for the little ghouls – I mean, the little ghosts, I mean, the – the imp poltergeists!”

* * * * * * * * * *

Later that evening, you found yourself hobbling down to the dungeons, searching for a certain Potions Master.

When you knocked on his office door, Severus opened the door using wandless magic.

“Come in.”

You stumbled in. “Severus… Severus, please…”

Severus, who was calmly sitting in his seat and reading a Potions book, merely turned a page of the book.

“Severus?” you croaked out.

“What?”

“I need your help…”

“Yes, we’ve established this,” Severus said peevishly. “You always need my help.”

You swallowed hard. “I need it more than ever. Please.”

“Yes, I heard of your little stint,” Severus sneered. “You not only saved the Potter boy’s life, but you helped him to earn points for Gryffindor – points which then gave an excuse for Dumbledore to rob us of the House Cup.”

“House Cup? S’ not important,” you mumbled, shifting dizzily on your feet. “Sev, please - ”

“I told you never to call me that again,” Severus corrected you. “After your foolish mistake in the conference room, all of the other teachers have -”

Fwump.

“What in Merlin’s name are you doing?” Severus snapped, as you suddenly collapsed on top of him. The book fell out of Severus’ hands and onto the floor, falling messily and crumpling several of the pages.

Severus growled impatiently at you. He meant to push you off, but then he noticed how labored your breathing was and how sweaty your face was. He paused. “You’re… You’re feverish. You’re not all right, are you?”

You shook your head a little.

“What happened? I’ve never seen you quite so - ”

“She had to take over,” you explained. “The Fox had to take over my body for me to save Harry in time.”

“And if she takes over, this is what happens to you?”

You didn’t reply. Instead, too distracted by Severus’ comforting scent and the warmth of his body against yours, you reached over, grasped his wrist, pulled his hand over to you, and then greedily sucked on his fingers.

Severus started. “Don’t -!” He made to push you off of his lap, but all you did was nestle yourself against him tighter, almost curling yourself around his middle.

Severus sighed. “I already can’t stand you. When you’re needy like this, it makes me want to - ” He fell quiet, however, and that sentence remained unfinished. For the way that you had curled up around Severus had made the hood of your cloak fall down and the bottom of your cloak and dress scrunch up around your waist. Severus could see your long, silver hair, and the fox ears peeking out of them, and what was more – you were sporting tails, just above your already soaked-through panties. It all made for quite a strange sight on Severus’ lap.

“Fuck,” Severus cursed harshly under his breath.

Meanwhile, you kept sucking at his fingers. You had your eyes closed and you hummed softly as you let your tongue slip between his fingers and your lips wrapped softly around his fingers.

“You’re such a strange thing,” Severus murmured. “I don’t know what on earth possesses you to do the things you do.”

“Mmm, me either,” you agreed easily, still content with his fingers – for now. You’d been so deprived of this energy for the past three days that just having his fingers to suck on brought an extraordinary sense of relief. But of course, the little thrumming going on between your legs was still going, and you were going to need that filled, somehow. Well, lying here on Severus’ lap, you thought – or rather, you hoped – that you knew exactly how you were going to get yourself filled.

Finally, you opened your eyes and pulled yourself up by holding onto Severus’ shoulders. Sitting in his lap and staring into his eyes, you whispered, “Severus, please.” To your surprise, you found that the Fox did not attempt to help you charm your plea. In fact, the voice and words that left your mouth were entirely your own. There was no enticement in there. Only a bare, naked plea…

“What is it you want from me this time?”

Your eyes dropped to his chest. “Whatever you’ll give me…”

Severus lifted his eyebrow at you. “Oh, and since when have you been so modest?” He ran his fingers down your thigh and then just grazed the outside of your soaked panties.

You shivered in his lap.

“Is it because of how very desperate you are for my touch?” Severus whispered.

Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment. But you couldn’t hide it any longer. You whispered back, “…Yes.”

“Ah!” You gasped as Severus had suddenly lifted you up off of his lap and threw you over the arm of the chair.

With one swift yank, he had your panties down to your knees.

“Always getting yourself in trouble. Look at you. You’re already soaking wet,” Severus told you.

You paused, wondering if he was scolding you. “But it couldn’t be helped. I had to save Harry,” you said, trying to explain what had happened and justify the feverish, desperate state you were in. “The Nine-Tailed Fox within me had the power to protect Harry, so I asked her to help me… But I had to, Severus. Don’t you see?”

“I don’t care if you saved the Potter boy’s life. And I don’t care how powerful this Fox of yours supposedly is,” Severus replied curtly. “To me, you are nothing but a nuisance and a troublemaker. Do you understand me?”

“But…” You bit your lower lip for a second before you mumbled, still trying to justify yourself, “… I did a good thing.”

Severus snorted, deeply unimpressed with your shy argument. “So, what, did you come running over to me for your reward?”

“If I say yes, will you give it to me?” you asked softly. Normally, you wouldn’t play along like this; you would stand your ground and argue with Severus. But you were burning up between your legs right now, and you needed Severus’ touch. You so badly wanted to feel his hands on you.

And the next moment, you got your wish – Severus’ warm, broad hand was slotted comfortably between your thighs. You shivered as competing waves of relief and anticipation crashed inside of you.

“Oh, Sev,” you whispered. “Sev… Thank you…”

“I told you not to call me that anymore,” Severus murmured back, his voice low and daunting.

“But I – it’s – your name,” you mumbled. Meanwhile, your hands snuck up and clutched onto the arm of the chair, on either side of you. Your head dipped down lazily, almost lolling in pleasure, as you let Severus touch you like this.

“Mmm,” you murmured out. “Feels so good. Oh, Sev...”

“Stop saying that,” Severus told you. “It’s not my name. My name is ‘Severus.’” He managed to keep his voice cold, even as he noticed how your cute tails were shivering as he touched your soaking wet cunt.

“Sever-rus,” you stuttered out, your voice catching as his hand pushed up against your pussy, catching your little clit and rubbing up against it.

“No. One ‘r.’ ‘Severus.”

“S-Sever-rus,” you bleated out. You swore Severus was rubbing your cunt harder now, as he tried to get you to say his name properly, almost as if he didn’t want you to say his name properly at all.

“Uhn…” you breathed out, as you felt his hand rubbing your little cunt so well.

Sure enough, Severus was teasing you. Since you weren’t looking at him, Severus allowed himself an arrogant smirk as he lazily flicked at your clit and watched your tails curl up a little against your rump as an expression of pleasure. “No, you stupid little thing. You can’t even say my name right.”

“‘S not fair when you’re – when you’re touching me like that.”

“Oh?” Severus suddenly pulled his hand away from you. “I suppose I should stop, then. For your sake.”

“No!” You desperately reached back. Your hand fumbled all over his chest as you sought his touch again.

Severus’ eyes glittered with pleasure as he saw the way you were reaching for him. Finally, you managed to grab onto his wrist.

“All right. Fine.” Severus let you guide his hand back to your needy little cunt. But before he touched your pussy again, he first pulled at one of your tails. He scoffed, “What the hell is this?”

“Ah!” you gasped, suddenly going stiff all over. “D-Don’t! That’s my tail!”

Severus laughed cruelly. “How pathetic. To think you’ve been teaching classes and tromping all over the castle with tails under your cloak.” He let his fingers roam over another of your fluffy tails before he grasped another one and pulled lightly at it.

You jolted, as a thrill of electricity ran through your body. “Nngh…”

“So sensitive,” Severus taunted you, giving your tail another soft yank. “And so strange. You don’t even know, do you, how very unnatural you are…” He kept stroking your tails, and even so often, his fingers would catch one and he’d tug on it.

“Stop it…” you moaned pitifully, now trying to pull away from him.

Severus paused. “You only have eight tails.”

You blearily opened your eyes. “S-So?” you huffed out. Then, you quickly begged, “‘S doesn’t matter. Just stop touching them, please.”

“Wait.” A cruel smile spread against Severus’ lips. “Are you telling me you didn’t even manage to capture a proper Nine-Tailed Fox?”

The Fox within you suddenly let out a displeased growl. You, too, clenched your teeth, and your hands formed little fists.

“You don’t understand,” you said angrily. “For your information, a Nine-Tailed Fox doesn’t come with nine tails. They gain another tail every hundred years.”

Severus let out a low chuckle. “A Nine-Tailed Fox doesn’t cum with nine tails?” As he spoke, he yanked harder at one of your tails.

“Ah!” You whipped your head around and glared angrily at Severus. “Stop yanking at my tails! And stop making fun of me!”

You tried to push yourself off of the couch. Fine, I’ll just find another way to get rid of my fox ears, you thought furiously. I don’t need to be teased by the likes of Severus Snape.

However, Severus, as smug as he’d ever been, easily pinned you against the arm of the chair by putting his other hand on the small of your back and pressing down. “You keep that wet little cunt of yours right here, or I will never touch you again,” he commanded.

A low, mournful cry left your lips. He’s so mean, taking advantage of me when I’m like this, you thought. And why isn’t the Nine-Tailed Fox helping like she usually does?

But the Fox made no reply.

Severus meanly stroked your cunt so that only his fingertips brushed up against you. He wanted to watch you whimper and to squirm for him.

At first, you did exactly as he anticipated, squirming against the chair and doing just about anything to push your hips out so that he would touch you more.

But when he kept pulling his hand further and further back, only lazily drifting his fingertips over your glistening pussy, you growled. Fed up, you said furiously, “God damn it, will you stop teasing me?”

But as you expressed your impatience at him, Severus noticed how more cum was leaking out of your pink little pussy. Shit, I’ve never seen pussy so wet, he thought.

Unable to help himself, for a moment, Severus slipped in his self-control, and he pushed his index finger against your little hole.

You gasped. For a moment, your heart lifted, as you thought Severus was going to fuck your cunt with his fingers.

Severus blinked. Snapping out of it, he pulled his hand away. But he could already feel his cock becoming entirely stiff for you. He swallowed hard. Such a needy little pussy, truly. It’s just asking for cock.

You moaned, as you realized he wasn’t going to fill up your tight cunt with his thick fingers. “Please… What are you doing to me?”

Severus ran his hands absent-mindedly over your thighs and ass for a moment, ignoring your desperate pleas as he took his time to think about you. There was no rush for him, for he already had you right where he wanted you – in his lap. Look at her, Severus was thinking to himself. She’s been walking around like this all day – only to come to me. Only to come find me and ask me to take care of her.

You paused, surprised at how tender he was being with you. “Severus?”

“Finally. You said my name right.” Severus gave you no warning as he carried on smoothly, “For that, I’ll give you a little reward, shall I?”

“Huh? Reward?”

Two thick fingers suddenly and unforgivingly plunged into your tight, wet hole.

“Uhn!”

Severus showed you no mercy, immediately scissoring you with his fingers, absolutely spreading you out as they pushed into you and spread apart without any respite. Then, pulling his fingers out just a little, Severus thrust his hand forward, burying himself into your cunt as far as they could go. He quickly became knuckle-deep inside of you – in a single thrust.

With just two thrusts of his fingers, Severus Snape had made you lose your mind. You were already a sobbing, melting puddle, with your pussy all stretched-out on Severus’ fingers. “S-Sev!” you bawled loudly. “Sev! Ah!”

“There you go,” Severus murmured. In contrast to his quiet, low voice, his fingers were violently pumping away at your pussy.

“S-Slow down!” you begged.

“Slow down? Like this?” Severus paused, only to slowly twist his fingers inside of you, turning his hand side-to-side, until he was tugging at your little pussy hole over and over again.

You cried out, and your cunt throbbed on his fingers.

“Mmm,” Severus breathed out. “All hot and pulsing… You’re so very warm.”

Meanwhile, you were panting your head off. “Hah… Ah… Ah…!”

“Your cunt’s twitching all over me already,” Severus whispered to you teasingly, his voice low and husky. “You needed this, didn’t you?”

Your thighs twitched. Severus snidely chuckled at you. “Look at what a fucking mess you are.”

“It’s because you didn’t warm me up,” you protested. “You’re s-supposed to be g-gentle with me.”

“How could I… When you were already such a mess?” Severus taunted you. “You came to me all wet and dripping. You came to me all ready to take my fingers in your dumb little cunt, didn’t you?”

Severus began to pump his fingers in and out of your tight hole again.

“Nngh…”

“Why else did you come find me?” Severus whispered. “You came here for exactly this, didn’t you?”

You couldn’t reply to that, for he spoke the truth.

Knowingly, he continued, “So stop pretending as if you aren’t getting exactly what you wanted.”

You let out an incoherent mumble. “W-Wanted… Yes, mm, wanted t-this…Wanted this s-so bad, you don’t even know…”

“Well, perhaps you do have a little self-control, after all,” Severus mused. “For not running up to me before tonight. With such a needy cunt, how did you keep yourself away before tonight?”

“It was hard,” you blurted out, before you could stop yourself.

Severus laughed meanly at you. “It was hard? You sound so foolish.”

Before you could retort, Severus continued smoothly, “By the way, you owe me a clean copy of Breakdown of Physical Reactions Between Magical Plants and Stones.” As he spoke, he continued to push his fingers deeper and harder into your cunt.

“You can s-still read it,” you choked out. “It’s not like the words are i-illegible or – nngh – anything like that.”

“Oh, really?” Severus sounded highly amused, which should have been your first warning for what was about to happen.

But, somewhat naively, you just mumbled, “Uh-huh” and nodded your little head.

Severus spoke his next words quite slowly and he suddenly stilled his hand, knowing he had you right where he wanted you, as he murmured, “Then. Read it for me.”

You paused. “What?”

“Read – it – for – me.”

Severus kept his fingers stuffed in your cunt, but he paused in finger-fucking you, as he raised his other hand. He beckoned with two fingers, and the book that had crumpled on the floor, lifted into the air and drifted in front of you.

“Go on. Take it,” Severus instructed you.

You frowned. What kind-of game is he playing at?

“Take it.”

You reached out and took the book, grasping it in both hands. You were still leaning over the arm of the chair, with your knees resting lightly in Severus’ lap.

“Read it.”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am. If you can’t read it, you owe me a new book.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“By the way,” Severus added silkily, “that book costs around thirty-seven Galleons.”

You hurriedly attempted to smooth out one of the crumpled pages that the book had landed on.

Severus smirked.

“Um, starting from where?” you asked, flustered.

“Page three hundred and ninety-four.”

“Okay. One hundred and – Um, two hundred and sixty – Three hundred! Three hundred and eighty…” You quickly rifled through the pages, but just before you got to the right page, Severus pushed his fingers deep into your cunt again. “Ah!”

Oh God, his fingers are so thick, you found yourself thinking.

“Are you there yet?” Severus’ voice pulled you back to reality.

“N-No.”

“Hurry up.”

“This is – Sev, you can’t – uhn!”

Your mind was starting to spin. Not only had you been exhausted ever since the altercation between the Nine-Tailed Fox and Voldemort, but now you were bent over the arm of Severus Snape’s chair, trying desperately to read from a high-level Potions book that made absolutely zero sense to you. Oh, and while you were doing that, Severus was pumping his thick fingers into your pussy repeatedly, making your wet little pussy even wetter. He made sure each stroke of his fingers went knuckle-deep, and then he’d curl up his fingers inside of you and rub the soft, hot insides of your little cunt. So, could anyone blame you for the stuttering mess that came out of your mouth?

“The p-physical reactions of – nngh, Sev – of the – the – ah…”

“Carry on, Professor,’ Severus whispered meanly. “Show me how you teach your students.”

“The, um, the – the – oh, God – the – uh – uh, uh, uhn!” Your eyes rolled back in your head as Severus gave you particularly rough thrusts of his fingers. Your head lolled for a moment and the book dipped down.

Severus suddenly pulled his fingers out of you and opted to give your pussy a sharp slap instead.

“Ah!” You gasped, and the book went tumbling to the floor.

“Pick it back up.”

You only moaned out loud, bowing your head down to the ground as the slap to your cunt made you jolt, and created a sharp bolt of electricity that ran all over your body.

Severus lifted an eyebrow. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No…” With a loud groan, you strained to reach the book and to pick it up off the floor. Your legs flailed in the air for a moment, and you nearly kicked Severus in the face as you reached forward.

Severus sighed. He used his other arm to anchor your thighs down against his. Then, he subtly used wandless magic again to help you pick up the book.

The pages were more crumpled than ever. Determined to get this ridiculous exercise over with so you could cum, you stuck your head in the book again and read out purposefully, “The hellebore ingredient is derived from a flowering or her - ”

Severus pushed his fingers back inside of you.

You clenched your teeth together for a moment, and then, exhaling sharply, you made to focus again. “- herbaceous plant. It – um – It is usually used in its s-syrup f-form, which – uhn – makes it - ”

Severus immediately picked up on your mistake. “Makes it?”

“F-Fine,” you groaned. “Um, where is it again? Oh, r-renders it non-toxic. For example, t-the – ah, Sev – Draught of P-Peace uses such a – a – a – Ah!”

“If the textbook author wrote a moan in there, I may ask for my money back, crumpled pages or not,” Severus said, highly amused.

“ – A form,” you finished weakly.

But Severus said, “Keep going.”

“I can’t,” you protested. “Not when you’re fingering me like that.”

“Finish the paragraph, and I’ll let you cum.”

You groaned. But you lifted the book again and read out, as fast as you possibly could, “Otherwiseitremainsinatoxicformthatisextremely – ex-extremely – um – um!”

You jolted again, as Severus managed to squeeze a third finger into your tight cunt, stretching you out even more.

“Read.” Severus’ voice betrayed none of the pleasure he felt at feeling how tightly your cunt was gripping at his fingers.

But you had had enough. “ – I can’t!” you burst out. “I can’t read anymore!”

You meant to put the book down, but your hands were trembling, and you accidentally half-dropped it. You tried to catch it again, but all you managed to do was yank a page out of the book altogether.

Severus tsked at you.

“I’ll – I’ll get you a new one!” you cried out.

“It’ll take a month, at least,” Severus said knowingly.

“Well, c-clearly it’s not a popular book, then,” you shot back at him, frustrated beyond belief with this ridiculous game Severus was making you play. “M-Maybe you should take a hint and move on to more r-relevant things, Professor.”

With a soft snarl, Severus tugged his three fingers out of your clenching little cunt, and then he proceeded to spank the living daylights out of you.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

“Ah! Ah, ah, ah! S-Sever – Sev!” you choked out. Your eyes welled with tears. “Please!”

Another smack! rang out on your bum. Your soft little tails (which, in actuality, were a mere baby version of the Fox’s actual, far more impressive tails) were going haywire, flurrying in the air before curling up as the tension overwhelmed you. Your fox ears, too, curled up, as you were completely overstimulated by what Severus was doing to you, smacking your bright pink rump and your dripping wet pussy mercilessly.

Severus finally stopped.

“Sev, please, be g-gentle,” you moaned out. Your little tails went limp, and you sniffled slightly as you mumbled out, “I – I said I’d buy you a new book. I’m s-sorry.”

At this, Severus ran his hand soothingly over your bum. “You speak as if you don’t like to be spanked. But look at how wet you are.”

Severus pushed his fingertips lightly against your pussy. Then, he put his hand out in front of you. You blinked, surprised to see his fingertips glistening all over with your cum.

You lowered your head shyly as you confessed, “I don’t really like the spanking. But… it does make me want – want you to touch me more.”

“Touch you more?”

“Yes. I want your fingers again. Please.”

“You want my fingers again?” Severus murmured, not even realizing that he was repeating you in a soft, adoring tone that he had never used before in his life. What is this soft voice of hers now? This isn’t the Fox, is it? Yet, I’ve never heard her like this before. He watched the back of your head as you nodded. She’s different with me today. It makes me want to… It makes me want to please her.

“Like this?” His fingers sloppily went in and out of your soft, wet little hole.

“Oh,” you moaned, nearly purring. “Yes, please.”

“This is what you want?”

“Yes,” you breathed out. “This is exactly what I want. Oh, Sev, it feels so good. So very good.”

Severus watched you, entranced. “I see that you can be a good girl,” he whispered lowly, “but just between your legs. Your head gets you in trouble. It’s very obvious to me now. You can’t help but run straight into anything and everything you’re curious about. You don’t remember regret; you experience it as a new emotion every time it hits you, like some silly little child. But here, you’re rather unexpectedly… sweet.”

Eyes closed and taken off guard by the things that Severus, of all people, were saying, you murmured aloud, “Well, then, y-you should p-put your mouth there.”

“What?”

Realizing what you said, you clapped your hand over your mouth.

But Severus pressed, “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just – I remember you once said that you wanted to taste me, that’s all. But it was – just in the – the heat of the moment, Severus. I didn’t mean it.”

Severus glanced down at your flushed little cunt, all pinkened from the many spanks and fingers it had taken today. He bent his head down and he pressed his lips up against your pussy.

For a moment, he felt your knees dig into his thighs as you jerked in response to his warm lips touching your wet cunt.

Then, Severus kissed your pussy hotly, opening his mouth to let his tongue wash over your little cunt, and then pressing his lips against your folds.

O-Oh. Oh God, oh Merlin, oh, oh, oh… Your mind melted. You drooped over the edge of the seat.

A moment later, warm, sweet cum gushed out of your pussy.

Severus paused, surprised by the sudden flood of cum. It was a simple kiss… That was all.

“So much cum,” he murmured, while keeping his mouth on you. “You’re so very wet…”

His words alerted you to the fact that you were cumming right on his face. You tried to shift forward, but Severus’ hands snaked up the front of your thighs and he held you there, keeping you flush against him as he roughly lapped up your cum into his mouth.

“Severus, you don’t have to - ”

“Shush.” His own voice came out muffled, as his face was buried against your pussy. Then, he whispered, “Rub your clit for me. Cum on my face again.”

“What? Again?”

“Yes. Now.”

You hesitantly reached down. Feeling Severus’ tongue pressed flush to your pussyhole, you fingered your clit, making yourself cum again.

When you did, Severus groaned heavily, and he drank in all of your cum. Once you had finished cumming, pulled you up by his thighs, until you were sitting in his lap again.

You stared at him in shock. “I – I can’t believe you just did that,” you huffed out.

Severus didn’t say anything, merely gazed at you with his unfathomable eyes.

“Um, most of the men I’ve been with tell me that I don’t taste too sweet,” you admitted.

“You don’t taste sweet,” Severus agreed bluntly.

“Oh,” you said, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s nothing to apologize for.”

You paused. Then, cocking your head to the side, you asked Severus, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Um… Don’t you also want to…?”

Severus sighed. “Will you please finish your sentences, for once?”

Flustered, you mumbled, “Don’t you want me to do something for you? I could go down on you if you want – I mean, I can suck your cock, Severus - ”

Your fox ears began to twitch on top of your head, and Severus stared at you, half-mesmerized by how beautiful you looked and half-exasperated by how ridiculous you looked.

But you kept going on, and all kinds of offers were spilling from your mouth, “Or – don’t you want me to let you use my pussy? You can take me and, um, you know you can even cum in me if you want. I promise, as many times as you - ”

“All right, that’s quite enough,” Severus cut you off suddenly.

You gave him a somewhat accusing and baleful look. “I was just trying to finish my sentences.”

Severus sighed.

The moment dipped into a rather strange and electric silence. You watched Severus for a moment. Then, letting your guard down just a little, you whispered to him, “You don’t have to pretend to be indifferent, you know. I can feel how hard you are, Severus.”

It was true. Sitting in his lap, it was impossible not to feel his bulge.

But Severus locked eyes with you and insisted, “I will never make love to you.”

You started to look away, both annoyed and disappointed with such a straightforward rejection, when Severus reminded you, “Because of the Fox.”

“Oh. Right.” You hesitated, chewing on your lower lip, as you thought to yourself, But she’s silent tonight, though I can’t imagine why.

“What?”

“Hm?”

“You’re thinking. That’s rare.”

You shot him a glare. “Is not.”

“What are you thinking about, then?”

“Well, I was thinking that there’s something you should understand about the Fox. Something that took me a while to understand, too.” You slowly began to slide off of Severus’ lap and onto the floor. “The Fox doesn’t like to just take advantage of people. She likes to return the favor. Both sides have to feel… pleasure…” You slid your hands up Severus’ thighs and then reached for the buckle on his belt. “…For the Fox to get her energy back.”

“Are you lying to me?” Severus asked you, narrowing his eyes. He still did not trust you one bit.

“No, I’m not.” You frowned thoughtfully.

“Prove it.”

“Prove it?” you repeated. Severus watched as your fox ears flopped to the side, as you cocked your head in thought. He gazed at you as you murmured to yourself, “How? How can I convince you that I’m not lying?”

Despite his stalwart resistance to the Fox and his inherent mistrust of you, a certain warmth began to blossom in Severus’ chest, as he watched you earnestly thinking and trying to prove yourself to him. She doesn’t need to do that, he thought to himself. It wasn’t intended as quite so serious a question. So, why does she humor me?

Severus finally reached down and he straightened out your ridiculous-looking fox ears for you. Then, he grasped your chin in his hand. He tugged your face up, just enough so that he could gaze into your eyes. He watched for that flicker of silver that he knew indicated the Fox within you, but tonight, he found no such glimmer. (In fact, Severus was tempted to use Legilimency, but he knew that that would be unacceptable to you.) Finally, Severus decided to trust the fact that the Fox was quiet tonight and he also swore to himself that he would pull back if any indication arose that the Fox was manipulating the both of you.

Having made that decision, Severus leaned back in his chair. Looking down at you with those intelligent, yet extremely distant black eyes, he resolved, “Very well. Pleasure me. Give me your mouth, then.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Giving Severus Snape your mouth meant giving him your mouth, you learned.

You’d started off very much in control, slipping down from his lap until you were kneeling on the chair before him. Tugging his zipper down, you’d proceeded to put your mouth on the tip of his cock, doing your best to suck and kiss his cock all over.

Severus watched your head bob up and down. He found himself wishing you would look up at him at least once, but you never did. You were too focused on working away at his cock, using your warm little mouth to lavish him with attention.

Once you’d gotten a bit more comfortable, you got up on your knees, put your hands on his thighs, and then, since you were a little taller now, you endeavored to take another half-inch or so of Severus’ cock.

Severus let out a low hiss. His hands clenched at the chair arms on either side of him.

Not noticing, you dutifully held your hair back with one hand (and with the other still placed atop Severus’ thigh, to help keep yourself propped up), you kept going, moving your head up and down.

Severus held his breath for as long as he could, but finally, a low grunt escaped his lips and he suddenly shifted. As his thighs tensed and moved, your hand slipped and you accidentally fell forward.

With a soft “ah,” you fell, face-first, right into his lap. After a bit of a scramble, you managed to push yourself up and you found yourself looking up at Severus. Severus noticed at once how flushed your pink little mouth was now, because of how hard you had worked at pleasing him.

Severus stared down at you with impassive eyes. A rather pitiful attempt. She could barely fit the head of my cock in her mouth. And yet, look at her, look at how much effort that look her. Her face is all soft and blushing, and her mouth is all pink and looks so very warm. I would rather enjoy kissing that mouth, I think, but then, if that’s what I wish, there are even better ways to use that pretty mouth of hers.

“Um,” you said uncertainly, messily tucking your long, silver hair back from your face. “Was that not good?”

Severus’ only reply was to reach down and grab your chin, in a rather unyielding grip, and to make you look at him. His black eyes glittered maliciously.

You swallowed. “Severus?”

“Come with me.”

“Where?”

“To the bed.” Severus’ voice was low and held a promise as he murmured, “Let’s use that mouth properly, shall we?”

* * * * * * * * * *

Ten minutes later, and Severus had you lying back on the bed, with your head propped up against the headboard. He was holding your hair back for you. He was the one on his knees now, thrusting his cock into your mouth and your throat.

At first, you had gagged, and Severus had paused, taking his time with you, making sure you could breathe and were all right.

But as you learned to open up your throat for him, Severus went increasingly rougher and deeper with you. He finally grasped your ears in his hands and he held your head in place as he snapped his hips forward, making you take and swallow his cock as much as you possibly could. Your hands flew up to his thighs in surprise and then even further up, until you were clutching desperately at the ends of his black button-up shirt. Your own legs shivered and twitched as Severus’ thrusts pushed you up against the headboard repeatedly, making you shift back-and-forth on the bed that you were half-sitting and half-lying on.

Your eyes were misty now, and you were trying your best to breathe, but essentially, you were just panting on his cock, trying to take what breath you could before Severus’ thick, swollen cock filled up your mouth and entered your throat again.

“Relax,” Severus growled at you.

You tried to nod, but you choked as you did. You gave Severus a little push on his hips, and he immediately backed away. You coughed loudly.

I just – He has such a thick cock, you thought dizzily, still coughing. So… thick… When he pushes his cock deep into my throat, I can’t draw any breath whatsoever.

Severus grimaced. “You’re terrible at this.”

“Sorry,” you croaked out.

“Never mind. Just stay still.” Severus pushed a pillow under your hips and then, holding your thighs together, he pushed his throbbing cock between your plush thighs. The length of his cock rubbed up against your pussyhole, too, making your eyes widen in anticipation - but he never actually entered you.

Still, the friction that the two of you were sharing was enough to make you both cum – you came on his cock, and Severus, groaning deeply as he felt your thighs clench around his cock and your warm cum start to leak out onto his cock, also came all over your tummy. You whimpered in surprise as he covered your tummy with ropes of his cum, for Severus had gotten into the habit of squeezing your hips as hard as he could in his hands whenever he came, and the sensation was such that you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself, feeling the way he held onto you while he painted your tummy and thighs with his cum… There was something about the way his grasp tightened on your body that made you… well, it made you go weak in the knees, if you were honest, as you caught a glimpse of the vulnerability locked away something deep inside of Severus’ soul.

Lying back on the bed, with your tummy warm from being covered with his cum, you stared up at Severus, noticing the way his hair had fallen in front of his face and the way he was panting as he tried to reclaim his self-control. You reached up, and with some effort, managed to brush his hair out of his face. Severus stiffened.

Then, your hand dropped to his chest, and your fingertips gently danced across his broad chest. You noticed, “Severus, you’ve healed…”

Severus took a deep breath. Sitting up and pulling away from you, he said gruffly, “Yes. The bruise went away after you allowed me to touch you that very same day.”

You paused. The Fox must have used her power to heal Severus, through our connection, you realized. The same way she used her power to save Tristan from the Obscurial residing in his eye.

The Fox’s voice rang out in your head: I am not a parasite.

* * * * * * * * * *

You slid off of the pillow and sat up in Severus’ bed. There was a towel there, waiting for you, as it had become habit for Severus to leave out a towel for you to clean yourself with after you spent the night in his bed.

As you cleaned yourself up, you ventured to inquire, “Severus, may I ask you something?”

Severus was quiet, which you now understood as his waiting for your question.

“Why are you angry about my saving Potter? And why are you so ill-tempered with him?”

“Why do you dote on him unnecessarily?” Severus shot back, immediately defensive.

“I don’t know. Probably because he reminds me of James.”

A deep, unpleasant scowl rippled through Severus’ face. “James Potter,” he sneered. “That arrogant prick.”

“Was he so bad?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Well, no, but he was nice to me.”

“He made my life hell,” Severus said curtly. “And he married - ” Suddenly, Severus cut himself off. “Never mind,” he muttered.

But you’d already caught on. “Wait. Did you have a thing for Lily?”

Severus’ eyes flashed. But he answered in a subdued voice, “No.”

“It’s fine if you did, you know.”

“I said that I didn’t.”

“You didn’t think she was pretty?”

“That’s – That’s - ” Severus fumbled over his words.

Your eyes twinkled, as you realized, “So, you and Lily…”

“I said, ‘no.’”

But your realizations didn’t stop there. You continued musing, “If you just had a simple crush on her, it wouldn’t be so hard for you to say.” You looked up at Severus. “You loved her, didn’t you?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Severus said grumpily. “Stop guessing when you don’t know anything.”

“I’m not just guessing,” you replied honestly. “I know the feeling of what it’s like… Being unable to say aloud the name of the person you miss the most… loved the most…” You suddenly fell quiet, as your own memories pulled you into a fog of difficult emotions.

Severus felt deeply uncomfortable with this conversation. Refusing to look at you, he said in a cold voice, “If you’ve cleaned up, dress yourself and leave.”

“Okay,” you said quietly. You got up and pulled on your robes. Your tails and ears were gone now. Hm, you thought, Severus was able to take care of the Fox without having to make love to me.

You headed for the door, but just before you left, you glanced over your shoulder and murmured, “Sev, you’re a halfway decent person, you know. I wish you wouldn’t hide it so.”

With that, you began to close the door behind you, when you heard Severus muttering after you, “Is that supposed to be praise?”

You smiled to yourself as you walked away. As you did, you felt the Fox’s presence slowly begin to appear in your soul again, and you could feel that she was smiling, too.

Tagged User(s): @areomalfoy @saltstacks

#fanfic #fanfiction #marauders #marauders era #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #severus snape #severus snape x reader #severus snape smut #foxtail and wolfsbane

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veryjanewatson · 2 years

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“Wasson.” His assistant’s name was slurred on his currently quite clumsy tongue. Normally a weapon of both bluntness and sophistication, it was as incapacitated as the rest of him right now. The culprit, the cause, was clear to anyone with the most rudimentary of deductive sense: the large and empty bottle on the small carved table beside him which had only just recently contained something both potent enough to sedate a gorilla (or Shaw, same thing) and expensive enough to fund several college grants. Shaw often had a glass in his hand in public, but when he was going to actually be drunk, he drank alone, enclosing himself somewhere comfortable that he wouldn’t be interrupted. Such as the cozy, plush sitting room he was in now, opulent and ornate while also almost claustrophobic compared to most of the Club’s spaces. It was very dimly lit as well, with only just enough antique lighting here and there to allow him to see the bottle, at least until his vision blurred. A more Freudian person might even call it womblike, but it was unlikely that was what Shaw was seeking to return to, considering he had, in all likelihood, not come from a womb so much as sprung fully-formed from a briefcase like Athena rising from Zeus’s broken brow, ready conquer the corporate world from his first breath. But from Julius Caesar to Genghis Khan, even the greatest of conquerors needed. . .much as he hated the word. . .a break. And he did not wish to be seen on his, did not want his weakness and repose beholden by anyone. Not even his highly competent assistant; he had not called for her, and not expected her entry. In a more sober state, he’d have sent her away. But with his mind dimmed, the typical sharpness of his countenance dulled, and he instead regarded her, outlined in the comparatively bright doorway. The gears in his brain seemed to be trying to whirr, but they were jammed, halted to a crawl. Whatever he wanted to say to her next, it took several moments for him to remember. He gestured to her with two fingers to come in, come to him. If she did, he’d speak, leaning his elbow on the chair’s arm and the side of his unshaven face on the curled knuckles of the attached hand, his gaze uncharacteristically relaxed, “Wasson. . .you’ve wor...been woring....been worin....working for me how long?” Again, a Freudian might have said that was a very significant slip, but in fact, it was just a very ordinary difficulty with diction while drunk. Shaw was a creature of great carnality, but also great professionalism---he didn’t fuck the staff, unless fucking him was explicitly what they’d been hired for. And that was NOT what “Wasson” was here for. Had he checked out her hot little body many times? Yes, of course, he just didn’t say or do anything externally. But that wasn’t want he was doing now. No, his expression was shifting to something far stranger for the likes of him than lust. He looked. . .sad. He lifted his opposite hand, and touched the back of it, very lightly, to MJ’s cheek, while lifting his own from his hand so that he could tilt his face up more directly at her. “You have a boyfrien’, don you?” The words were a little jumbled, but very comprehensible. He brought his hand down from her face, and grasped it around her hand. His other hand joined them, her small white paw sandwiched for a long moment between his larger, tanner, hirsute ones, his palms calloused and his veins prominent under the hair. He looked at the stack a long time. He was thinking about assistants he had before, or rather, on in particular. One who had been on the very, very short list of people he trusted. And about redheads he’d had before, or rather, on in particular. One who had been on the very, very short list of people he had cared about. And how both had betrayed him. It is the nature of animals, when they are sick or wounded, to instinctively hide this. Shaw was no exception. He did not announce these thoughts. He could not have had them seduced or threatened out of him had anyone cared to try. Not even in this weakened state where he allowed himself to think them in the first place. He released her, leaned back, and rested his head again against his hand. “Be good to him.” And then he closed his eyes.

#submission

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writteninsunshine · 2 years

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All That Glitters (And The Thorns That Bind Them) - Stan Marsh/Gregory Of Yardale - SFW

Title: All That Glitters (And The Thorns That Bind Them)

Author: Keith

Fandom: South Park

Setting: Hollywood, CA; Various

Pairing: Stan Marsh/Gregory of Yardale

Characters: Stan Marsh, Gregory of Yardale

Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Rating: T

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: 1000

Type Of Work: One-Shot, Part Three of the Writer’s Month 2022 Collection

Status: Complete

Warnings: Preslash, Slash, Gay, Yaoi, MLM, AU - Actor AU, AU - Canon Divergent, Alcohol, Alcoholic

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything but the premise.

Summary: It wasn't really a surprise that nobody wanted to celebrate him, but that didn't stop Stan's heart from aching for him.

AN: Hey guys, it’s me again! Just thought I ought to say, if you want vague updates and to talk to me more, I have a writing Tumblr, too! Twitter is Sunshinecackle, and Tumblr is Writteninsunshine! I also have a writing Discord that is currently pretty dead. xD If you want it, please contact me on Tumblr/Twitter!

I’m trying to do Writer’s Month this month and to keep myself working on these to hopefully get all of them done, I’m going to aim for 500 words or less.

I’m really happy with how these are coming along, honestly. I think that they’re doing pretty good and I’m getting enough of them done ahead of time that I might have a chance to have them edited and posted on the day! Though the week’s worth of leeway will probably help, too. I’m surprised I don’t write more Stagory, to be honest with you. I always thought I’d write a bunch of them and then I don’t think that I have.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy it!

Writer’s Month Fic Masterlist

All That Glitters (And The Thorns That Bind Them)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A loud shriek set Stan to panic mode, and once he was finished leaping out of his skin, he jumped into action. Wrenching the trailer door open, he was prepared to find Gregory injured or otherwise threatened, but found nothing at all, not a sign of danger. No blood, no broken bones, not even the evidence of a mouse in the prim man’s on-set abode, and his brows furrowed.

“Gregory?” The larger man had learned early on that it was ‘Gregory’ and not ‘Greg,’ as he’d gotten a rather stern explanation as to why ‘Greg’ was an abborhent shortening of his name, “You okay?”

“I absolutely am not!” Gregory assured him with a soft moan of despair, “Do you see something wrong with these?”

Holding out a gargantuan bouquet of gold-tipped red roses that obscured his face with numbers alone, Gregory huffed and sighed dramatically. Stan rose a brow, confused, as he tried to spot any that were the wrong color, or some that were more wilted than others. When he came up with nothing, he shook his head, only to figure that the blond couldn’t see him for all the flowers.

“Uh… No, I don’t think–”

“You’re right, you don’t think. These are meant to be gold dipped.” Gregory hefted them back onto his well-lit white vanity, careful not to knock into any of his glassware on top. This close, Stan could already smell the sweet red wine on Gregory’s breath, and he sighed through his nose. Taking Stan’s silence as aquiescence to continue, Gregory whined, “These are gold tipped.”

Was that really a good reason for a full-grown man half made-up with his hair in proper curlers to help foster his natural ringlets to throw a tantrum? Evidently Gregory sure seemed to think so.

“So… You’re okay…?” Stan asked finally, dumbstruck by the incredulous hurt on Gregory’s face.

“I am not okay, Stanley, I am devastated.” Gregory sobbed, but Stan was sure that a single tear wouldn’t fall, lest Gregory have to start his makeup over again, “These were meant to be gold dipped, they are bound to die far too soon, and they were a gift for my birthday. I should have checked the shop I ordered them from…”

“Wait, you ordered it?” And for his birthday? Some part of Stan knew that Gregory’s private life, what he had of one, was rough, but he didn’t realize it was ‘lying about an expensive gift he bought himself’ rough. No wonder why he was drinking at eleven in the morning. On his birthday.

“I… Yes,” Gregory let his loose robe fall around his shoulders, cleared his throat, and pointedly lifted his wine glass. Stan watched his Adam’s apple bob with each gulp until the glass was thoroughly drained in awe. When he pulled it back from his lips, Gregory’s face held the most genuine emotion he’d ever seen there; Disappointment. “Is it so strange to buy something nice for yourself?” His voice was quiet and Stan’s heart ached.

He’d heard Gregory going on about how he’d been tipped off that he would receive a nice gift for his birthday from an admirer later in the morning to a few people on the crew. Maybe Gregory didn’t know he’d heard him, but he had… And it softened his eyes, and his heart, even more.

“It’s really not.” There was no way that Stan could wrestle those things away from Gregory like this, but he was at least able to catch the company that had messed them up. Luckily, it looked like they were in town.

He had no clue what it took to dip roses in gold, how long it would have to dry, but he suddenly was very invested in it. When he’d managed to duck out on Gregory and his sulking after a few hasty excuses, Stan knew where he was going for his lunch break. Except that, upon arriving at the flower shop and making his inquiry, Stan was met with the unfortunate news that gold-dipped roses would take up to three days to complete due to the drying process.

At a loss for what to do, Stan left the flower shop dismayed, only for an idea to come as he was driving back towards the studio. His job was literally welding, roses could be welded, and it would only take three hours. It would be fairly simple, and he was more than fine with making the effort for someone on their birthday.

The petals, once they were cut, looked like they belonged in the background of a Spongebob episode, but they formed into the proper shape with heat and twisting. Much as it ate into his afternoon, he was thankful that a couple of his friends in production were willing to cover him when he explained that he was making a last-minute birthday gift. Nobody questioned his intentions.

“Gregory?” Stan finally called out as he saw the actor leaving his trailer that evening once shooting had wrapped up for the day. The blond turned around, adjusting his orange polo shirt and smoothing back his still bouncy, flamboyant curls.

“Yes, Stanley?” He asked, voice tired, eyes tired, everything about him looked tired, bereaved.

“I, uh. Made you this.” Producing the gold rose from behind his back, Stan held it out to a sudden squeal and shine in Gregory’s eyes, “It’s no four dozen, but I couldn’t just watch you–”

Gregory pulled Stan into an uncharacteristic hug, holding him close for nearly a minute with one arm, his other hand curled between them as he held onto his present.

“Oh, I love it.” He whispered, “Thank you, love.” It may have been the most thoughtful present he’d ever received. Without a thought, he pecked the other’s cheek, still smelling of the expensive, sweet wine he drank, “Accompany me to my birthday dinner. I won’t accept ‘no’ for an answer, our reservation is for eight, at Yamashiro Hollywood. Don’t be late.”

Gregory was gone before Stan could protest.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

AN: I miss writing for these two, I don’t know if I’ve written much for them in public before. But I absolutely adore these boys, they were my first OTP for one another. I had a lot of fun with this, actually, and I may be convinced to write some more based off of this fic if anyone wants to see it.

Prompt: word: gold | setting: actor AU

#South Park Fanfic #South Park Fanfiction #Writersmonth2022 #Stan Marsh #Gregory Of Yardale #Stagory #South Park Stagory #Stan Marsh x Gregory of Yardale #cw alcohol #cw alcoholic

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bing-bang-bingo · 3 years

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- 4x3: c. 40:00 Cas comforts Dean after Mary makes a deal w/ Azazel

- 4x7: 15:50 Dean stops Sam from shooting Cas, then Sam mentions that he’s “heard a lot about him”

- 4x7: 39:00 Cas tells Dean he prayed he’d save the town, then he tells him about his doubts and Deans future troubles

- 4x10 & ???: Dean calls “last night on Earth” his best line. He uses this line on Cas

- 4x10: 27:15 “Castiel has this weakness. He likes you.”

- 4x10: 32:50 Cas looking jealous and sad when Dean kisses Anna

- 4x16: 7:30 Cas tells Dean he got in trouble for showing emotion and getting to close to Dean. 8:20 “I would give anything not to have you do this”

- 4x16: 39:00 Cas warns Dean to be careful while Dean is in the hospital, they discuss the first seal and saving Dean from hell

- 4x18: 31:30 Cas tells Dean how to save Sam from Lilith even though he’s not allowed to interfere

- 4x20: 38:00 Deans face when Cas tells him he “learned his lesson when he was in heaven”

- 4x22: 30:40 Cas considers rebelling for Dean. 33:00 He does. 35:20 He fights multiple Archangels for Dean

- 5x1: 5:45 Dean denies Cas’ death 8:25 “I learned that from my friend Cas you son of a bitch”

- 5x1: 31:00 Cas saves Sam and Dean from Zach

- 5x3: 6:10 Cas-“I need your help because your the only one who will help me”

- 5x3: 10:20 Dean fixes Cas’ tie and jacket

- 5x4: 38:50 “Don’t Ever Change”

- 5x8: 38:20 Dean makes Gabriel bring Cas back, then makes sure he’s okay

- 5x13: ?:?? Cas won’t let Dean meet with Anna because it’s not safe

- 5x17: 30:30 Cas and Dean discuss what it’s like to have a deadbeat dad

- 5x18: 25:15 Cas kicks Deans ass for trying to sacrifice himself

- 5x21: 3:50 Cas and Dean bickering like and old married couple then Cas gives Dean a heartfelt apology.

- 6x17: 18:55 “No you’re confusing me with the other angel, the one in the dirty trench coat who is in love with you.”

- 6x17: 38:00 Sam: “So you killed 50,000 people for us?” Cas: *looks at Dean*

- 6x19: 25:20 Bobby reassures Cas that they’ll be back soon, Cas acts like a worried and disappointed wife.

- 6x19: 36:25 Cas yelling “Dean!” when Eve bites him

- 6x19: 40:00 Dean is the only one who doesn’t think Cas is working with Crowley (he’s wrong but it’s sweet)

- 6x20: 4:50 Dean v v worried, “But Cas you’ll call right? If you get into real trouble?”

- 6:30 Crowley implies that Cas is distracted by Dean and tells him he reeks of the Impala.

- 7:20 Cas says that Dean taught him how to care and what to care about. Then Cas saves Sam (for Dean)

- 13:15 Cas says that the worst part of working with Crowley (basically his sworn natural enemy) is that it hurt Dean and that he hated lying to him.

- 25:20 Cas refuses to ask Dean for help because he has “sacrificed too much” even though it means Cas could die.

- 26:00 Crowley tells Cas he has a way for everyone to get a happy ending “with all possible entendres intended” while Cas stares longingly at Dean.

- 33:00 Dean is close to tears when he learns that Cas is working with Crowley, Cas says he did it to protect Dean.

- 35:25 “Dammit Cas we can fix this!” “Dean it’s not broken!” He then tells the boys to run from the demon cloud and Dean gives him the saddest look in the world before being forced to leave him behind.

- 38:00 Cas watches Dean sleep. “I’m doing this for you Dean. I’m doing this because of you!”

- 6x21: 22:40 “I do everything you ask. I always come when you call and I am your friend. Still despite your lack of faith in me and now your threats I’ve just saved you yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you?”

- 6x22: Dean to Cas- “Don’t make me lose you, too.”

- 7x2: 5:35 Dean nearly cries on screen when he thinks Cas is dead

- 7x17: Cas says “I remember ~you~” as soon as he regains his memories.

- 7x17: Cas ask why Dean didn’t tell him all the horrible things Cas did. Parallels the conversation Karen and Dean had about telling Bobby she remembered him killing her and her telling Dean that he had never been on love before.

- 7x21: The face Dean makes when he sees Cas again plus the prolonged eye contact when Cas says Deans name.

- 7x21: Hester telling Dean that when Cas first saved him from Hell he was lost- parallels- Lucifer/Jess saying she was dead the moment she met Sam.

- 7x23: 8:50 “Go ask him. He was your boyfriend first.” Meg to Dean about Cas

- 7x23: 32:45 “I’m sorry but I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”

- 7x23: 36:50 Cas steps in to protect Dean despite spending the whole season avoiding fighting and saying he won’t fight.

- 8x2: 25:00 Cas ran away to keep the Leviathans away from Dean. Dean refuses to leave purgatory without Cas.

- 8x7: 20:30 Deans reaction to seeing Cas all cleaned up.

- 8x7: Dean convinced himself that it was his fault Cas was still in purgatory because he’s a sweet idiot boy who hates himself

- 8x7: 35:00 The whole Dean and Cas conversation about purgatory and Cas doing stuff that puts him in danger.

- 8x8: 12:30 Cas just casually going through Deans stuff and Dean not saying anything.

- 8x8: 13:00 Cas offering to watch over Dean while he slept

- 8x8: 15:15 Dean talks to Cas about feelings and heaven even though Dean hates talking about feelings.

- 8x17: Cas fights Naomi’s mind control for Dean

- 8x23: 22:50 Dean and Cas sadly discuss Cas closing the doors of heaven and say goodbye

- 9x1: Dean prays to Cas and tells him he isn’t mad about the angels falling.

- 9x1: Cas’ first instinct is to explain himself to Dean then to come help him.

- 9x1: Dean begs Cas to “for once, look out for yourself.”

- 9x3: 36:45 Dean to Cas after Cas came back from the dead “Don’t you ever do that again!”

- 9x6: Literally just Dean trying desperately the whole episode to hang out with Cas

- 9x10: 26:00 Dean and Cas talk about how Cas is doing and Dean offers him a rare sincere apology. Plus the “I prefer the term ‘trusting’. Less dumb, less ass.” dialogue

- 9x18: Cas’ little smile when Dean makes a joke about Honor Bars and Cas is just so happy to hear his voice.

- 9x18: Metatron’s illusion of Gabriel calls Cas Dean’s boy-toy

- 9x18: Cas can tell something is wrong with Dean, then Cas yells at Dean about getting the Mark of Cain

- 9x22: Cas chooses Dean over all of Heaven once again

- 9x22: The Cas and Dean conversation about the three of them being enough when an army wasn’t and Cas giving up an army all for Dean

- 9x23: “I’m blaming you for taking Cas’ grace.”

- 10x1: 5:00 Cas about Dean- “I miss him.”

- 10x2: 9:00 Cas’ reaction to learning that Dean is a demon

- 10x3: The conversation between Dean and Cas at the end of the episode. “You look terrible” “You on the other hand, your looking good.”

- 10x5: Deans reaction to Cas and Dean actors hugging and holding hands

- 10x5: “Put as much sub into that text as you possibly can.” *looks directly at fake Cas*

- 10x9: 15:00 Cas tells Dean he’s a good role model. Then asks him if he’s okay and when Dean lies and says he is he pushes it further. Dean makes Cas promise to kill him if he goes Dark

- 10x22: Dean and Cas fight and parallel Cain and his Wife.

- 10x23: Dean sees Cas’ bloody face in the mirror

- 11x1: Cas being more worried about Dean than himself even though Cas is under a spell that will kill him.

- 11x2: Dean calling Cas and stressing out when he doesn’t answer

- 11x3: Dean trying to coax Cas out of the attack dog spell, refusing to fight back when Cas was attacking, freaking out when Cas took a minute to wake up, refusing to let Cas heal him (because he “had it coming”), and refusing to let Cas apologize (because “there’s nothing to apologize for”).

- 11x10: “Dean, I came as soon as you called.” Also: “Stick your tongue out.” Dean-*does*

- 11x11: Dean realizing that something is wrong with Cas (while he is possessed by Lucifer)

- 11x11: Mildred says that Dean is pining for someone else(probably meant to be a reference to Amara, but she told him this after he had seen Cas for the first time in a few days.)

- 11x14: The sadness on Deans face when he realizes Cas is Lucifer and then his determination to save Cas

- 11x15: Dean getting kinda dark when he talks about what he’s willing to do to save Cas and he prioritizes saving Cas over bearing Amara.

- 11x17: Dean once again prioritizing saving Cas over saving the world. Sam reassuring Dean that they’ll save Cas (even though Dean didn’t say anything about what was upsetting him)

- 11x17: The camera zooming in on Dean after Michelle says that there is no normal after losing the man you love.

- 11x18: Dean refuses to put Lucifer in the cage or let him fight Amara while using Cas as his vessel.

- 11x18: The difference in the way Dean looks at Lucifer vs at Cas

- 11x18: Dean about Cas: “Lets go find that idiot and bring him home.”

- 11x19: Dean has been looking for leads non stop for a week since Amara took Cas

- 11x21: Amara uses Cas’s heart to find Dean, then shows Dean images of Cas beaten and bloodied to convince him to turn against Chuck

- 11x23: Dean’s face when he realizes Cas is back and Lucifer is gone.

- 11x23: Dean tells Cas he isn’t stupid and that he always helps

- 11x23: Cas: “Dean are you okay? How do you feel?”

- 11x23: Cas hugging Dean super tight before he goes off to die. Dean entrusting his life’s purpose (look after Sam) then thanking him for everything.

- 12x1: Cas seeing that Dean is alive and hugging him while his voice breaks.

- 12x1: Cas taking the job Dean have him very seriously

- 12x2: Dean adorably venting to Cas about his mommy-issues

- 12x3: Dean- “Morning sunshine want some coffee.” Cas- “No thank you.”

- 12x7: “Well at least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” They are such husbands

- 12x7: “Engaged in what Cas? killing you?”

- 12x8: Cas being so worried about what happened to Sam and DEAN that Kelly escaped.

- 12x9: Mary-“You left them!” Cas- *voice breaking* “Dean told me to go!” Also, just Cas looking so hard for them.

- 12x9: Cas blaming himself for Sam and Dean being taken

- 12x9 Cas knowing how long the boys have been gone down to the hour.

- 12x9: Cas’s voice and eyes when he hears Dean’s voice on the phone.

- 12x9: Cas killing Billie because “You mean too much to me” and “The world needs as many Winchesters as it can get.”

- 12x10: Poor Sam having to deal with Cas and Dean while they fight like an old married couple.

- 12x10: Dean immediately telling Ishim to go to hell when he insults Cas

- 12x10: Sam telling Dean to go to Cas when Dean thought Cas was in trouble

- 12x10: Cas immediately believing Dean about Ishim even though they’re mad at each other. Dean about to let Ishim kill him to save Cas.

- 12x10: Ishim comparing Dean and Cas’s relationship to Ishims relationship with his human lover, then saying he was going to cut Cas’s human weakness

- 12x11: “And Cas is my best friend.”

- 12x12: Dean about Cas- “My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here...”

- 12x12: Dean stressing out and voice breaking as he tries to comfort poisoned Cas

- 12x12: LITERALLY TOLD DEAN THAT HE LOVED HIM WHILE CAS WAS DYING

- 12x12: *looking at Dean* “I love you.” Then adds “I love all of you”

- 12x12: Cas- “Run.” Dean- “Cas, no.”

- 12x12: The look Dean gives Cas when he won’t stop staring at him after he’s healed.

- 12x14: Dean says some very harsh stuff to Mary after finding out the reason they Cas almost died at the lake house was because Mary was working for the British Men of Letters

- 12x15: Dean could tell something was up with Cas after talking to him for less than a minute, over the phone.

- 12x18: Sam trying to make Dean feel better about not hearing from Cas.

- 12x19: Dean literally always acting like a scorned wife when Cas comes back after long periods of time

- 12x19: Dean made Cas a mixtape

- 12x19: Cas- “I ~needed~ to came back here with a win for you.”

- 12x19: Cas- *gesturing between Dean and himself* “You mean... we?” Dean- “Yes, dumbass, we.”

- 12x23: Dean screaming for Cas when he attacks Lucifer and trying to chase after him forcing Sam to drag Dean back through the rift. A direct parallel to Dean pulling Sam away from Jess and the fire in Pilot

- 12x23: Dean kneeling next to Cas’s dead body looking up at the sky completely devastated.

- 13x1: Dean couldn’t bring himself to say dead when referring to Cas

- 13x1: Dean PRAYED to GOD to bring Cas back

- 13x1: “We just lost ~everything~. And now you’re gonna bring ~him~ back.”

- 13x1: Dean personally wrapping Cas’s body and giving him a hunters funeral.

- 13x1: The look of complete devastation on Dean’s face when he burns Cas’s body.

- 13x3: Dean refusing to help save Jack because he blames him for manipulating Cas and getting him killed.

- 13x4: The Empty to Cas: “I know what you love, what you fear. There is nothing for you back there.” He loves Dean and Cas fears that Dean doesn’t love him back.

- 13x5: Sam being worried about Dean who has given up all hope since Cas died.

- 13x5: Dean being so distressed thinking Cas is gone forever that he tries to kill himself

- 13x5: Dean seeing Cas alive again and they both have tears in their eyes.

- 13x6: Dean hugging Cas and saying he’s been gone for “too damn long”

- 13x6: Dean being immediately happier and nicer to everyone once Cas is back

- 13x6: Cas saying “Yes. Yes, he does” (in response to Jack saying Dean really likes cowboys) with the tone of an exhausted spouse.

- 13x6: “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper. Like a bear.”

- 13x6: Dean made Cas watch Tombstone with him.

- 13x6: Dean and Cas dresses like cowboy husbands.

- 13x6: Cas saying “I’m your huckleberry” to Dean in a deep accent and Dean looking away.

- 13x6: Their undercover names are Russel and Kilmer

- 13x14: The whole scene where Cas and Dean fight Gog/Magog and act like an old married couple.

- 13x14: The angry, dark look Cas gives Donatello when he tries to kill Dean

- 13x16: “Dean has him by the thigh!” Cas, jealously: “He ~what~?”

- 13x16: “and that includes the Cartwright twins.” Cas, again jealously: “what did you do with the Cartwright twins?”

- 13x19: Cas angrily confronting Naomi about forcing him to kill a bunch of Dean clones.

- 13x21: Cas secretly sliding Dean more pizza when Mary and Sam left the room.

- 13x21: Cas having to hold Dean back from going after Sam. Dean would have beat the shit out of anyone else who tried to stop him.

- 13x23: Cas trying to stop Dean from giving himself to Michael even if it meant losing Sam AND Jack

- 13x23: Cas sitting alone in the bum jet with tears in his eyes after Dean left

- 14x1: Demon: “How is it you lost Dean. I thought you two were joined at the... everything.”

- 14x1: Dean trying to save Cas from Lucifer then vs Cas trying to save Dean from Michael now

- 14x3: The look that Dean and Cas give each other when Dean comes home.

- 14x9: Cas almost being happy seeing Dean happy. And then having to force himself to not be happy so he doesn’t die.

- 14x12: Cas being phased at Dean for wanting to put himself in the box with Michael forever

- 14x14: Cas is the only Dean will let talk to him about Michael and be honest about how Dean feels

- 14x14: “No, it’s on us.”

- 14x14: Cas’s voice breaking when he talks about the possibility of Dean dying one day.

- 14x18: The pure self loathing in Cas’s eyes when he feels like he failed Dean by not telling him about Jack’s soul.

- 15x2: “You asked ‘what about all of this is real?’ We are.” THE MOST ROMANTIC LINE EVER. (Plus later Eileen and Sam have the same conversation but they get to kiss because homophobia)

- 15x9- 20:00 Dean said that they lost everyone they cared about, then added Cas specifically. Then he says “I had to bury him” not “we”

- 15x9- 23:00 Dean cries when he can’t find Cas. Then he prays to him and apologizes for letting him go. He falls to his knees praying to him and fully crying

- 15x12: “I created the world.” *shows Destiel*

- 15x15: This time when Dean sees Cas leaving the bunker, he stops him. (In reference to Cas saying “you didn’t stop me” when Dean got mad at him for leaving)

- 15x16: This is the the only version of Cas that rebelled for Dean. This universe is literally being saved repeatedly because of Cas’s love for Dean

- 15x18: CAS CONFESSES HIS LOVE TO DEAN then goes to mega hell for being gay

Anyway, Cas loves Dean and Dean LOVES HIM BACK, OKAY?!?!? Feel free to add more

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thekingslover · 2 years

Text

“So that’s it then,” Cas says, voice crackling through the phone.

“I don’t know.” Dean wishes he had a better answer, but everything has happened so fast, he doesn’t know which way’s up anymore. A step back, that’s all he needs, to reclaim his bearings. It doesn’t have to be final, but he doesn’t know how to say that. He’s never been good at this kind of thing. And what kind of asshole asks an angel to wait?

But with the way Cas’s breath catches on his inhale, damp, Dean thinks he might just be an asshole anyway.

“I understand,” Cas says, a tiny, broken whisper of words that slices Dean down to the core.

This was his idea, but he doesn’t feel less lost. If anything, he feels worse, cast out into the ocean without a direction home.

Cas’s love is a whirlwind, but it always set him on the right course.

“Cas -”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

“Cas, wait -”

“I hope you find what you are looking for.”

“Don’t!” Dean pulls the phone from his ear. ‘Call ended’ is written across the screen. A moment later, it returns to his home screen, almost like none of this ever happened.

Except it did.

Dean just threw away the best part of his life. Because he was scared. Because he...

He didn’t know this is what love would feel like. Wild and reckless. Like holding onto a lighthouse in a storm.

Cas was the lighthouse, and the storm’s still here. Without Cas, Dean’s just standing, getting wet in the wind.

Dean pushes Cas’s number. It rings, but Cas doesn’t pick up. He tries again, but his bad luck holds.

So he runs instead, letting his feet follow his heart. He runs, and he doesn’t stop running until he’s across town and standing at the hotel he left - where he’d been too afraid to tell Cas in person that he loved him, so he ruined everything on a phone call instead.

Dean pushes through the door he knows, not expecting anyone to still be waiting on the other side, but hoping - hoping with everything he has.

Cas stands in the middle of the room, overcoat on, shoulders slouched. He glances up when Dean enters, and the sad eyes stop Dean in the doorway.

Cas watches and Dean waits... until he remembers he’s the one who needs to speak. He’s the one who botched this.

“I didn’t mean it,” Dean says.

Cas looks no less sad. He knows Dean is lying.

“I mean,” Dean shakes his head, “I thought I meant it, but I didn’t know what I meant. I didn’t know... I’m bad at this love thing, Cas. You have to know that. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Cas stands still as a statue, and though Dean’s worried Cas’s about to flap his wings and vanish, he’s so, so grateful that he hasn’t yet.

Dean takes a breath. “I got scared.”

Cas’s eyes narrow. “You are afraid of me?”

“No, man.” Dean pushes his hand through his hair. “No.” He pauses. “And yeah, kinda. A lot.”

Cas blinks and his eyes widen. He stands up straighter.

“Not in a bad way,” Dean says. “Not really. More like... I don’t know. You’re an angel. I’m just some guy. What the hell are you doing with me?”

Cas turns toward Dean. He tilts his head.

Dean says, “You could have anyone, and they’d be damn lucky to have you. Wouldn’t you rather be with a movie star? Or like, James Dean, or someone?”

“Dean,” Cas says, not sounding angry or sad anymore. Instead, there’s a soft confusion there. “Why would I want anyone but you?”

“I don’t know.” Dean shrugs, helpless. “Cause you’re perfect.”

“I’m far from perfect,” Cas says. “As you well know.”

“So you’ve made some mistakes...”

“I’m barely an angel anymore.”

“Once an angel, always an angel,” Dean says.

Cas starts to smile, and a heavy weight slowly lifts from Dean’s chest.

“I don’t want anyone but you, Dean.”

“Not a movie star?”

“No.”

“Not James Dean?”

Cas steps closer, and Dean does too, finally stepping in from the doorway. He lets the door close behind him.

“I love you,” Cas says, and Dean knows he does. He feels it. It’s big, too big for three little words. His inner walls push against it, and he wants to run again. But he doesn’t. He won’t. Cas is his lighthouse, and he’s tired of standing in the rain.

“I love you too, Cas,” Dean says at last. “So much I don’t know what to do with it.”

Another step from them both and they are very near. Cas reaches toward Dean, palm up in invitation. “We’ll figure it out.”

Dean ignores Cas’s hand and pulls him into a hug instead. Cas is warm and steady, and Dean relaxes for the first time since he walked out that door an hour ago. “I can’t believe I almost screwed this up.”

“We can fix it,” Cas says, and makes it sound like a promise. That other screwups might happen but they’ll always find their way back.

“I don’t deserve you,” Dean says into Cas’s shoulder as he holds on tight.

Cas holds him right back. “Dean, you deserve everything.”

#i wrote something #destiel #deancas #break up and make up

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ciramaris · 2 years

Text

Hut'uun

Mereel Skirata x fem!Reader

Summary: Reader- You are one of the Coruscant Guards Medics and treat all kind of People. For example the Skiratas, more specific Mereel. He is a flirt and has laid eyes on you. You did so too.😉

Wordcount: ca. 3'600

⚠️Warnings⚠️ Injuries🩹, Canon Typical Violence⚔ Reader gets hurt 🤕, Mention of Sex- if you read carefully max 2 Sentences🔞

Pls tell me, if I forgot to tag something

This is for you @carodealmeida for the Request💟

Working in the Coruscant Guard Medbay was interesting in many ways. You got to learn new techniques way before the regular Hospitals on Coruscant did. And your equipment was always the best. One of the Reasons was that Senators like Padme Amidala and Riyo Chuchi as well as blue blooded ones like the Duchess of Mandalore were prone to Injuries. They preferred to be treated by Humans rather than Droids.

Padme was a known Patient of yours, she called you by your name, as if you would a friend and the banter between the two of you, Anakin would never admit it, but he was jealous sometimes.

Senators and the Coruscant Guard were not the only ones you treated regularly, if Troopers got hurt while on Leave they were brought to you. The RC’s and ARC’s that were stationed on Coruscant had their Check ups with you and your fellow Medics. Klan Skirata, as Lina, your Nurse referred to them were outright hostile to everyone but Lina and you.

Lina often called you, when you had a longer break because Kal’s Boys got hurt again. You had only treated Kall once and you were glad he was unarmed, because you were just as nice to him as he was to you. Which was really rude and distant but since then, he called you Ad’ika and has a high regard for you. Which also brings us back to the Situation at hand.

Since Kal trusted you now, his Boys were sent to you, if they got hurt on one of their super secret Missions. But none of them were such a flirt as Mereel.

,,Heeey, Baar’ur’ika.” He laughed as he entered and winced when he laughed. ,,You, my little Princess are stunning.” He breathed out and leaned against your current Patients Bed.

When Hound heared him, he groaned and rolled his eyes. ,,Easy there Lover boy, she’s working on me now. Could you wait until I can not hear you anymore?”

You laughed at their behavior. ,,Now, now. Hound be nice. And you Mereel, sit on that Bed over there, I’ll be with you shortly.”

Mereel grinned. ,,What ever you say Mesh’la.” He winked and walked over to the Bed.

You shook your head while you grin.

Hound laughed. ,,Don’t you get tired from pretty boy’s flirtations?”

Shrugging you sowed him up. ,,No, it’s different, funny even. And I know it’s just the nerves. If he’d saw me outside of this Medbay he would react different. I’m sure of it.”

Hound looked at you disbelieving. ,,Right and Grizzer is a Loath cat.”

You slapped his Shoulder. ,,Hey you. Be nice. I’m right a lot of times. And I’m sure. Mereel is a Ladies Boy. He can have all of them. The pretty ones, the ones with a small Waist, the ones who got clearly helped to their beauty and the rich girls, so why should he settle for me?”

Hound shook his head. ,,I know this look. He’s looking at you like Skywalker looks at Amidala.”

You ruffled his slightly longer hair. ,,Oh, you mean when he’s messing with her? Yeah I know that look. Thire wears it often.” You got up, replaced your Dirty Gloves, Materials and looked after Mereel. His distinctive blue Mandalorian Armor shined bright in the Medbay lights. ,,Mereel? Are you visiting or do you have an Injury?”

He grin at you, he sat on the Bed but since he was tall he could just look straight at you. ,,Aww Cyare, do I really need an Injury to visit you?” he asked and pulled you closer by your Stethoscope, which you wore around your neck.

You smirked, clearly unimpressed. ,,No, but that’s the only time I see you. So, where is it? Left or right?”

He looked confused. ,,Where is what, left or right?”

You sighed. ,,You probably have broken or at least bruised Rips. Left side of the Thorax or right side? And what else?”

He grinned. ,,You are so intelligent, Cyar’ika and so beautiful. How can you do that.” He asked and bit his lower lip as he looked you up and down.

,,I don’t know dear. It just happened, guess I’m lucky.” You shrugged and caressed his cheek. ,,Since were talking about luck. If you delay me any longer you need to be lucky with Kal. He won’t stand for you delaying me.”

Mereel swallowed. ,,Alright ner mesh’la Baar’ur’ika. I’ll be good.” He took off his armor and stocked it next to the Bed. ,,A Bountyhunter got me.” Was his only explanation to his bruised left side.

You sighed and glared at him. ,,How can you joke around like this, if you’re obviously in so much pain?” you shook your head and took out your scanners. It showed you that 3 of those Rips were fractured and the Spleen was bruised too. ,,Mereel you are on strict Bedrest. If you do not comply, your Spleen might rupture and you need to be operated on. Do you understand? No unnecessary moving around and you will stay here for the time being. We wouldn’t want my favorite Patient get seriously hurt for no reason, would we?”

Mereel looked unsure. ,,No definitely not, since I have a reputation to uphold as your favorite Patient.” He winked.

,,Good, I’ll send Lina over to you and she’ll give you a Bactainfusion. For now, you do not need to go in a Tank but you might be placed in one. Depending on how you’re healing.” You wanted to walk away but Mereel was holding your Scrubs Shirt on the end.

,,Do I at least get a Kiss for being good?” he whispered to you.

You grinned and turned back to him. ,, I’ll send Kal for the Kiss.” You said and walked away.

-------------------×----------------------×-----------------------×

After your Shift you had a Week of Vacation but your treacherous mind kept on replaying what Mereel said and what Hound explained. After your Vacation you got sent off with a relief mission to Ryloth and arrived back at the GAR Coruscant Guard Base 3 Weeks after.

Mereel was discharged while you were on the Relief Mission but you read his chart. He was healing nicely. You absently stroke his chart with your thumb while you starred out at Coruscant's busy night sky.

,,I knew you liked him.”

You spun around to find Hound leaning against your Office door. Grizzer laying next to him on the floor.

,,Who?”

He grin. ,,The Null-ARC, Mereel. You had a faraway look while you stroke his chart lovingly.”

You furrowed your brows. ,, Stroke lovingly?” you sighed. ,,Hound, I just care for my Patients, that is all.”

,,Mhm.” He moved towards you and pointed at the Chart and to your desk. ,,And why is my Chart no where here? Or did you already read it?”

You sighed. ,,Stop investigating, I know what this is about and no. I have not. It is still with Lina.”

Hound grin triumphant. ,,And why?”

You sighed hating where this was going. ,,Because my treacherous mind wandered off to a place where I would actually believe what he said.”

Hound applauded you. ,,So, you finally see it.”

You sighed, feeling that you did this way too often lately for such a Joyful Person. ,,No Hound. My Mind wandered off, I admit that, but I am also being honest with you, when I tell you, that I saw them with enough pretty and beautiful and rich girls surrounding them and him, last time I went to 79ˋs with Thire.”

Hounds face fell. ,,So, that is why you don’t believe him.”

Again you sighed and grew frustrated with your sighing. ,,Yes, that is why. Could you now please drop this?”

He nodded. ,,But whatever happens Vod’ika, you know Grizzer and I will always love you, right?”

You chuckled and hugged him tight. ,,I know you do, otherwise you would stop calling me Vod’ika.”

--------------------×-------------------×------------------×

As you walked away from his Bed he felt lost. And you said you would send his father for the kiss? Please no. He loved Kal truly, but kisses from his father was not what he wanted.

Your Nurse, Lina she later helped Sergeant Spawn to place him in a Tank, so he would heal faster. But the dull throbbing in his Chest whenever he thought of you and then again the Joyful leaps his heart would take when he saw you. It was not easy to live with that, if he would give fully into those feelings, he would kiss you on sight. But he didn’t want to ruin what you had together, but he didn’t want to stay like this either. So whenever he had an evening off or a morning he went to 79ˋs.

Once, he thought he had seen you but thought again. You were on Vacation, you would not stay here on Coruscant, would you? So he turned back to the pretty Togruta in his Lap, who seemed to like him rather much, with how she purred. He tried to distract himself from you but when he kissed another Girl, he thought of you. Whenever he touched a females Body he thought of how you would feel under his touch or react to his touch. He closed his eyes as he felt a certain type of bliss and wished he would be doing this with you, instead of this other woman.

Mereel tried not to get hurt, even his brothers commented on it. He hadn’t seen you in 4 Months, but he got hurt badly again. He was not conscious when he arrived at your Medbay. The next thing he saw, was one of his Girls, the Pantoran lean over him and kiss his Forehead. ,,There you are, handsome.” She chuckled. ,,Thought you would let me wait longer, like you usually do.” She winked.

He grinned at the memory. ,,Jakala, where am I?”

She looked around. ,,The Army Medical Bay. Looks like you will stay here longer than I thought.” She pointed to his Chart in his Hands. ,,Fractured Clavicle and Fibia and Tibia. Laser shot wound Medial, Anterior and Proximal Medial. Whatever that means. Plus here it says something about second grade burns on your left leg, Distal posterior and a Concussion.”

,,Dear, please leave the Chart. The Doctor will come as soon as she got time to explain everything to you two.” Lina said politely. She took the Chart back but Mereel caught her Hand.

,,Give me Spawn, Lina. I want to be treated by one of mine.”

Lina seemed taken aback. ,,Are- are you sure? I’m sure-“

,,I am sure, Lina. Please.”

She nodded sharp. ,,As you wish.” She walked towards Spawn who seemed equally confused.

,,Vod, what seems to be the Problem? Don’t like the good Doctor anymore?” he half joked.

,,That’s not it. I just feel more comfortable with you looking me through than the good Doctor, Vod.” Mereel tried to avoid why he didn’t wanted to be treated by you.

Spawn sensed something like that. ,,Okay Vod, but you remember that I don’t allow visitors here. It is the GAR Base after all, means your Girlfriend will have to leave.”

He looked apologetic to Jakala.

,,It’s okay, Honey. I understand. I’ll see you out there again.” She said and captured his Lips with hers, right as you entered the Medbay.

Lina had the decency to call you so you would turn to the wall, like you always did. ,, Hound is waiting for you, in the Messhall.” she lied so you would not see Mereel kiss his Girlfriend without a corner to gather yourself after.

Mereel saw you go, as he looked after Jakala. He was so stupid, why would he allow Jakala to kiss him, if you were right there? Only Lina’s quick thinking saved him. He looked at her and nodded her thanks.

She sighed and shook her head.

Spawn cleared his throat. ,,Care to explain why you lied to your Friend? We both know Hound is in the Messhall at this time but he did not ask for her. So?”

Lina shrugged. ,,He didn’t ask you.”

Spawn gave her a stern look. ,, Nor you, Lina? Has this something to do with Mereel and his Girlfriend?”

Lina looked to the floor. ,,You will have to ask Mereel about that.” With that she left.

Spawn crossed his arms. ,,I guess this also explains why you wanted me as your Doc and not her? What are you afraid of, Mereel?”

Mereel shook his head. ,,No I’m not scared. I just.” He sighed and winced. ,,I didn’t want to hurt her. I think she likes me and letting her see Jakala would be mean.”

Spawn looked not convinced. ,,If you say so. Bactatank for you.” He said and rolled up the I.V stopper so it could flow into his bloodstream.

--------------×---------×-----------×

You received a call from Lina, that Hound would be waiting for you in the Messhall, so you run off.

You arrived at Hounds table and excused yourself for being late.

,,Late? Vod’ika we did not have a date today. Why, who said that?”

Perplexed you glanced at your Commlink. ,,Lina.” You said slowly.

Hounds confused features softened. He had seen Mereel enter with his Girlfriend. ,,Maybe, she thought you could use a break with me?” he winked.

You laughed. ,,Oh you.” You rolled your eyes. ,,I can’t. I don’t have Lunch break just yet. But I’ll join you an other day.” You got up again, kissed his cheek and went back to the Medbay.

Lina looked obviously nervous. So you approached her. ,,Lina, do you think I look hungry?” you said with mirth.

She relaxed as she realized you were not mad. ,,Just a bit, why?”

You held your Commlink high. ,,You called me, remember?”

She nodded and with no reason hugged you. You accepted the hug but were curious as to why she behaved like that. The Day Mereel got out of the Bactatank you understood. He had a Girlfriend. You tried to look calm, joyful, even but your eyes gave you away.

Hurt was all you felt. Pain in your heart and your soul. Overpowering hurt, making it difficult to breathe because everything hurt. As you saw her so happy to see him, your little world shattered. He really did not mean any of what he said. Hound was wrong. Mereel did not love you, like he claimed he did. You turned and steady walked into your office. There you called one of your Friends.

,,Padme?”

,,So good to see you, love.” The Senator smiled at you but then her smile fell. ,,Somethings wrong. What is it?”

You shook your hear tears slowly filling your vision. ,, Nothing, really. I just heared you needed an emergency meeting with me. Here in my Office, where you can take your Datapad with you?” you pleaded her.

She nodded. ,,Yes you are right, I am not feeling well. I’ll need that meeting now. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Padme said and 2 Minutes later she knocked at your door.

You explained everything to her and she sat there on the Couch with you, holding you while you cried.

Time heals all wounds, is a saying that not always is true to every situation.

After that Day you took a leave of absence, Padme let you stay in one of her Houses on Naboo. But when you closed your eyes, you could still see him and her.

----------×-----------×-------------×------------×---

Mereel saw how much this hurt you. But what could he do? The damage was done and with how Jakala behaved, it gave off the impression that he loved her too. But he only loved you, how could he be so stupid? Jakala could never replace you and here he tried and only hurt the Woman he truly loved.

Later that Day his Father came to visit him. He did not say anything beyond. ,,You are my Son and I will always love you and be proud of you, but here you are a coward, Son.”

Hound had to be forcefully stopped by Spawn and Thire, so he would not hurt Mereel.

He did not see you again, not until one night in 79’s where the owner gave the dress code for Girls as ,,Maskerade.” They gave free Eye Masks to the women who did not know, so everyone would be concealed. He would recognize you everywhere. He glanced next to you Padme Amidala was in a tight fitting purple dress and she had a Purple Mask on. Her Lips red. And you? You looked absolutely ravishing. Your blue dress, with cutouts highlighted all that he loved so much about you. Your Waist and Breasts, it ended a hand over the knee. And even the shoes you wore, highlighted your legs. The most beautiful was your Smile, it was carefree and Joyful as he remembered you to be. He did not catch your eyes but the glittery Mask suited you perfect.

Hound circled around you, like a guard dog, expecting trouble.

Mereel sighed, he still loved you but could he just go to you and tell you so? Or should he pretend not to know you and feign first interests in you? He didn’t know what he should do, but his Father was right, he was a coward. And he hated cowards.

Mereel took a deep breath and walked towards you. You seemed too concentrated into the Conversation to see him.

Mereel took your Hand and slowly pulled you to him. First you laughed until you saw who it was, that pulled. You looked at him, as if he had slapped you. ,,Cyare, please let me explain.”

But you shook your head. Padme next to you looked ready to explode.

------------×-----------×---------×

As a Celebration to your leave finished Padme took you to 79’s, only because of the dress code it had today evening.

You were so happy to go out with your friend and into the Clone bar, where Commanders like Cody and Wolffe would be armored up and armed, nonetheless. It was save for Padme. You danced with her and she talked about how Bail helped her in certain occasions. And then someone pulled your Hand. You laughed until you saw Mereel. All the Pain you went through returned with one big BANG! In your heart.

You felt Padme ready to fight to your right. ,,Cyare, please let me explain”. He asked. But the Tears already started to roll down your Cheek, without you noticing.

He carefully reached up with his freehand and gently wiped the tears away. ,, I am so sorry, Cyar’ika. Please let me explain.”

His touch was something you wished for many times, whether it was as gentle as this or rough grabbing your Hand because he helped you up somewhere. But now you couldn’t stop yourself, you flinched.

You saw his heart break there and then as you flinched. But his touch hurt in your heart. You took your Hand out of his. And wiped your tears away. You took a steady breath. ,,Why should I let you explain what looks clear to me?”

He sighed. ,,I know I am a Coward and I am sorry that I am. But Cyar’ika please listen to me.” He looked so unsure and sad. His Voice carried over the loud upbeat Music but you heared perfectly what he said.

,,Make it quick then, your Girlfriend just arrived. I bet she would not like you calling me what you did, when you should be calling her that.”

He nodded. ,,I broke up with her, I never was with her, she was just there and gave the Title to herself. I always wanted you, Cyare. I just went with her so I wouldn’t hurt you.”

You laughed humorless. ,,So you wouldn’t hurt me? How did that go?!” You asked seething.

He looked to the floor. ,,I am sorry Cyar’ika. When I was with her, when I kissed her, I thought of you. She was just a substitute for you. I love you, Cyare.”

Your heart hurt so much with what he said, but you hoped that he meant it. It was not up to you any longer whether you listened to him or not, your legs sagged away and you landed in his arms, the last thing you remember was Pain. Unforgiving, harsh and dark pain.

You woke up in one of your Med beds, I.V. placed as well as an EKG on you chest. Padme was on your left side and Mereel on your right side.

Spawn rounded the corner. ,,There you are, you scared us for a minute, little one.”

You smiler weekly. ,,Why, though?”

He set his Lips in a thin line. ,,Broken heart Syndrome, ever heared of that one?”

You nodded.

,,You got something similar. Instead of staying away, Mereel should stay close to you for now. I could say, dear. Your heart has chosen him and you really need to listen to it. Some of your heart strings ripped due to emotional trauma.”

You looked over at Mereel, he looked unsure of this. He got up and leaned over you. He took a deep breath and without a warning, kissed you. Your EKG beeped furiously warnings out. Spawn was seconds away from pulling Mereel away and then it normalized.

As he pulled back you slapped him across his Face. Then you reached out and pulled him down for another kiss. After the first shook he kissed you back.

He let go of you again. ,,Cyar’ika?” he asked unsure, he looked to Padma who was squirming with glee, then back down at you.

Your heart did not hurt that much anymore. It’s as if Mereel’s kiss healed something inside of you. ,,Hmm?”

,,I love you and I’m sorry for hurting you. Can you forgive me?”

You nodded. ,,I think I can, pretty boy.”

He kissed you again and Padme hugged Spawn enthusiastically.

Translation from Mando’a :

Baar’ur’ika from Baar’ur ->Doctor/Medic

‘ika -> little, added to a name as a very familiar or childhood form: Vodˋika, little Vod

Vod-> sibling /brother/ sister

Cyare-> beloved

Mesh’la-> Beautiful

My Stories:

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bloodycassian · 3 years

Text

A FEAST - Azriel x readder. Prompt - Reader is injured and knocked out for days. Cassian gets him to finally leave your side for one meal and Nyx brings a guest with him...

"The Dragons Song is the best one, hands down." Nesta argued, hacking through the brush. "That one is full of the same scenes every time." You judged, pushing a branch out of the way. The jungle was a mess of twists and turns to work through, but thankfully one of the fishermen on the dock had sold you a compass at a descent price. "A little more right for a few more miles and we'll be there." You steered her on course. "At least it dosent say 'honeydew' every scene." She made a fake gagging noise and you laughed. The sound was muffled in the crowded forest. She hacked her way through the brush, one vine at a time. Until you finally reached the clearing. It was hot in the direct sun, a few degrees different than what the shade of the forest had been. You paced the perimiter, meeting her at the other side. "You mean Cassian dosen't like honeydew?" You wiggled your eyebrows at her. "Az does?" She challenged, earning a laugh from you. "The ones that you like are predictable beyond measure." You countered, earning a quick smile before your attention snapped across the meadow. To a giant hog serpent with venomous tusks that gleamed with their clear liquid. You swore and you and Nesta both drew swords at the same time. + Nesta ended the hog, but not before it had the chance for those razor sharp tusks to marr your legs with deep wounds. The venom stung, flowing into your bloodstream and paralyzing you slowly. You gasped at the sheer blinding pain it brought. "Nes-" You choked out between sobs. "Tell Az... Tell Az I love him." You smiled to her, putting a hand on her cheek. "No, no way. You're gonna tell him yourself. Stay awake. We're on the way." She reached deep to that bond to Cassian, and a flare of alertness greeted her. Then, a thrill of fire. "On the way. Rhys will be there in a few. Are you okay?" "Fine, she's delirious. She needs a healer and a detox for the venom." She thought back, sighing when she felt Rhys' presence. "Wheres Az?" You managed out of your chattering teeth. You were losing the fight against the venom quickly. It would have you under in a few minutes if Rhys didn't hurry to a healer. He placed a hand on you and darkness surrounded. "Cassian will-" He started to Nesta, "I know, get her safe." She rushed, urging him to winnow you already. When Cassian saw the amount of blood spilled, he cursed. "Most of it was the beast." Nesta cleaned her sword on an overgrown leaf that jutted down into the meadow. Her hands shook when she sheathed it. "Nes." He stopped her when she turned. "Nes..." He repeated, giving her a long look. She tried to hide her face, the terror there. "Lets go." He pulled her to his side and took off, holding her close to him. He said nothing about the tears that flowed to his shoulder. He just gripped her tighter. + Azriel had nearly broken the door when he stormed in. And he hadn't left your side since. Nesta stayed when she could, letting Azriel relax enough to sleep now and again. He trusted her to wake him if anything changed in your status. When he woke, he heard his brother's voice first. Quiet an hurried in tone, him and Nesta argued by the door. "He wont leave. You've already tried, just leave him alone." Nesta was scolding. Cassian gripped her hands, then whipped his head over to his brother when he saw him stretching on the bench. "Hey Az-" Cassian smiled, bounding over to his brother like a puppy. "You remmeber Madja saying it may take up to a week, right? How about you come to dinner up at the house with us." "I dont want to miss if she-" "Come on, Nyx will be there. Mor's coming back from the continent tonight too." Cassian tempted, poking at the old flame Azriel carried for the female. She was still incredible, and one of Azriels best friends, but he no longer felt that flame towards her. You had come along and crushed it with a bat of your eyelashes and a few quick witted insults at Cas. Nesta started pulling him away, giving you an apologetic smile. "It would be nice for you to be there is all he means." She began pushing him out the door, despite his protests. "Think about it! She wouldn't want you to be mourning while she's alive!" Cassian shouted, earning a smack from Nesta. Azriel smiled despite the dark nature of the situation. He pulled a chair up beside your resting body. It had been three days. How would he know if you were awake or not? He tugged on that dark link you shared together, and came up with the same unresponsiveness as before. He sighed, but took your hand anyway, falling asleep again to the sound of your soft breathing. + He decided to stay for just an hour. He would spare his family that much. He kissed you goodbye and tried his best to ignore the guilt he felt for leaving you behind. But Cassian was right. He knew that when you woke up you'd be upset about him not going. So he put on his brave face and flew up to the house of wind, to the joy of everyone. They clapped upon his arrival, making his cheeks burn. Mor gave him a hug and promised to catch up. But she hovered around a fae you hadn't met yet. A female that she watched with wide sparkling eyes. Azriel's chest bloomed with pride at the sight of them being so close, so full of life for each other. He looked away from the two, and sent his shadows out to Rhys. And found what he was seeking. He darted over to the end of the table where the high lord and lady sat across from each other. The head table was empty, and filthy. "That's a small monster if I've ever seen one." He bent and scooped Nyx up from under the table. He wriggled and laughed. "No monster Azzy." Nyx babbled, pulling on his uncle's hair. "No pulling hair!" Rhys scolded, making Nyx laugh even more. Feyre sighed. "You're just having fun. How about we go for a fly down to-" "Don't say it, Az." Rhy's tone went from scolding to pleading. Even though the baby couldn't fly yet, it was one of his favorite things to do. He could see how Rhys' son would be skilled at flying with just the way he angled his head when accompanying. Az poked at Nyx's belly and they fought like that for a few moments, Nyx eventually winnowing away with the joy only a child could have. Azriel froze, looking to the high lord and lady for comfort. Having a baby disappear in your arms was strange, even for Fae babies. "When'd he start doing that?" "Four days ago." Feyre sighed. She looked utterly exhausted. "We've been having to take turns staying up with him." Rhys held her hand across the table, they shared a sweet look together then they both whipped their heads to Nyx in unison. "Dont-" Feyre warned, giving her son a stern look as he pulled at the tablecloth. Amren gave the boy a look of discouragement as well when he looked around for someone to be laughing with him. He stopped after those silver eyes met his. Nesta gave Az a smile from across the room where she and Cassian welcomed the toddoling boy. "Let's start training, Nyxie. Come on, show me what you got." Cassian got on his knees to the floor and the two began wrestling together. Azriel took a seat beside Rhys, picking at the crackers and cheese platter before him. "When were we planning on going back to the Island?" Rhys asked, voice low. Cassian rolled with Nyx on the ground, making Nesta laugh when the boy pulled at Cas' hair. "I'm not going until my mate is healed. Maybe you should send them, see how much trouble they can get in." Az asked, trying to keep the hinting out of his voice. He wanted to go take care of it on his own. The mission on the Island was not complete and he didn't want to risk anyone again. He'd rather do it and make sure it was a finished job. He couldn't bare to see you be hurt over a fellow Valkyrie getting hurt either. "You know they would kill each other.... or themselves trying to protect the other." Feyre smiled despite herself. She knew it was the truth. Her sister being happy for once was a joy like no other. "Mom and Dad need to eat, Az you too." Cassian ordered. He bounced the boy on his legs, making him pretend fly. Azriel picked at the plate that appeared before him. The warm meat and stew looked incredible, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. The guilt was the only thing that weighed in his stomach. "I should go check on-" He began to say, folding his napkin back on the table. "How is she?" Cassian interrupted from the floor. Nesta was playing with Nyx now, rattling a toy around for him. Azriel kept his calm mask on, trying to fight the urge to check on you. The black haired boy looked to her with upset eyes. "Auntie?" He said, voice a bit whiny. "Auntie is napping, she'll be back in a little while." Nes assured. Azriel's heart squeezed at the love Nyx showed. Then, the boy was gone. The parents were digging into their plates. It was likely the only meal they'd shared together in the four days of taking turns watching Nyx. "Rhys-" Az began, terror sweeping his gut. Nyx was no where in sight. Nesta and Cassian both shot to their feet when they didn't spot him. Then, the plates in front of Azriel clattered and shot food everywhere. Mor and her date yelped and fled their chairs, mor pushing the other female behind her. Azriel's shadows coiled, siphons glared ready to fight. And Rhys didnt move as he observed the waking fae before him. The tug on Azriel's bond went taut. "Auntie here!" Nyx celebrated, patting your chest. You groaned and cracked open your eyes to see Azriel's shadows swirling about you. "Are you okay?!" Azriel gripped your shoulders, his warm hands seeping into your thin shirt. The sweats you wore were now stained with whatever food had been on the table. Rhys put down his fork slowly. "I wasn't expecting to be this kind of snack Az..." You said softly. Rhy's cheeks went red. Mor laughed first, her date looked to her with bewilderment and worry. Cassian rushed over and picked Nyx up from your stomach. "I think there's a fork in my back." You said, voice gruff. A hysterical laugh bubbled from Azriel, then the rest of them were cracking up. "Nyx... Thanks." Azriel breathed, and the boy began clapping. + Once you were back on your feet and Madja had given you the go ahead to take it easy, you asked Azriel to go on a walk with you. The stretch of your legs was sore, but the good kind of sore that left you feeling better and better with each step. The cool wind from the Sidra whipped around you. He wrapped a wing around both of you as you reached the apex of a bridge. "I owe that baby everything." He laughed, squeezing your hand tighter. The city was quiet, only soft music coming from the Rainbow and the calm trickle of the Sidra sounding out. "Nyx the Valkyrie deliverer." You laughed together, leaning against the railing on the bridge. The streetlights above cast a wonderful color over you, illuminating you both in a silvery shade that matched the moonlight. "I love you." You said, resting your head against his shoulder. It had been a long night, and who knew how long of sleeping... but you were tired. "Love you." He nudged you away so he could hook his finger under your chin and angle you up to kiss him. You wrapped your arms around him and compiled, letting the bond hum through you like a song.

#azriel x reader #acotar fic #azriel #perfect-peach-bouquet

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slipper007 · 3 years

Text

I can't imagine the pain.

Word Count: 3,262

TW: child loss, grief and grieving, discussion of death. See AO3 for complete tags.

Special thanks to @angelfishofthelord and @shirtlesscastiel who both asked for a part 2, as well as @featherasscas , who's reblogged part 1 more times than I can count

Companion to this, + also on AO3. [Masterpost]

Castiel stayed on the ground, broken, for what felt like hours, lacking the strength to look away from the devastation of his grief.

He stayed there so long that the Winchesters gave up hope. They mumbled something about Chuck and the end of all things, of the ghosts that Cas’ total grief had obliterated and how they might not have been all that was released. Castiel didn’t care. He didn’t have it in him to, and maybe the Winchesters saw that. Dean tried to touch his shoulder, maybe even offer an apology, but Castiel shot him a look that ended the conversation they had been dancing around for years. They left him in that graveyard with what was left of his son.

He almost prayed, but what could an angel do to reverse God’s will? No, he needed to do something else. He was desperate enough to try anything he thought would work.

Bargaining. Maybe he could strike up another deal. Whatever the price was, he would pay it happily. He would give his life in a heartbeat, just like before, if it would bring Jack back.

He reached out to Death directly.

He felt Billie’s presence before he saw them and slowly turned as they offered a laid back “Hey.”

“Bring him back.”

“Can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both,” Billie replied. They raised a brow as Castiel drew his blade. “Killing me again? That seems a little redundant.”

“If you won’t bring him back then maybe your replacement will.”

“Everything has its time, Castiel and everything dies.”

“And it wasn’t his time! His story isn’t done!”

“God said otherwise.”

“You’re going to let God do your job? Kill Jack and wreck the order?”

“God isn’t wrecking anything. Every story has different endings. This was one.”

“Then change it.”

“It’s already happened. It can’t be undone.” Billie’s voice was gentler than Castiel expected when they continued. “It’s not fair, or kind, or right, but it’s life. You need to make your peace with that.”

“No.” Billie’s brows drew together and if Castiel didn’t know better, he would think that it was from pity. Even as he spoke, he felt the tip of his angel blade drop. “I can’t accept this, he can’t be...”

“He is. And nothing you do will change that, regardless of what your time with the Winchesters has taught you.”

Castiel felt the lurching ill sensation rise up again.

“What if I go to the Empty directly?”

“Then you die. It keeps both you and Jack. But you know how the Empty works.”

“I still won’t get to see him...say anything...”

Billie touched his shoulder, a rare gesture of remorse from Death incarcerate. “He’s gone, Castiel, but he can live on in you.”

Castiel didn’t answer, and Death left him to grieve.

Even as time ticked by, Castiel was at a loss for what to do. In the dust, he drew the Enochian sigil to create a portal to Heaven, paid it enough attention that for a moment he could pretend Jack was sitting in the truck playing on his phone.

Castiel almost called his brothers and sisters down to open the portal, to take both Jack and him from the Earth, to let them rest for the first time in years. He wanted Jack to know the peace that used to exist in Heaven, the safety of the place he had once called home. More than that, he wanted to be at peace, to quell the anguish and anger writhing in his chest. It would be easier to go back to proper angelhood, forget what it was to feel.

Emotions had never brought him anything but trouble. They’d lost him his family, his home, his friends, his life…

Still, his tongue wouldn’t speak the words to bring his siblings down. He remembered how they’d treated Jack, and him. The angels had manipulated Jack just as the Winchesters had, and they would do so again if given the chance.

Even dead, Jack could still be used as a weapon. His body harbored the remains of not only nephil grace, but also that of the archangel Michael. Those were both cosmic; they would endure longer than his body.

As much as it sickened him, Castiel realized a hard truth.

Not only was Jack unable to come back, but it wasn’t enough to simply lay him to rest. His body needed to be destroyed so completely that he could never be manipulated again.

He only knew one person he could even start to trust with something like that.

“Hello, tweetie pie,” Rowena answered. “Is this a social call?”

“No, I need your help.”

“Now as much as I’d like to, I’m busy. Tell the Winchesters—”

“This isn’t for them,” he said, words coming out harsher than intended. He took a breath and added a gentler, “Please, this is important.”

“More important than—”

“Yes. Can you meet me at...” Castiel faltered. The Bunker wasn’t an option, and he certainly wasn’t going to stay where he was, surrounded by death, destruction, and his son’s wings scorched into the earth. “Uh…”

“I’ll need some time to tie things up in Nevada. Could you perhaps meet me halfway?

“Yes.” Castiel breathed a sigh of relief. “In Colorado? Grand Junction?”

“Alright,” Rowena agreed. “Now tell me what it is you need so I can prepare.”

“I need you to help me burn a body.” He risked a glance to Jack, feeling bile rise up. “So completely that he can’t come back.”

“Dearie—”

“I can’t talk more; I’ll see you tomorrow,” Castiel blurted, hanging up before what little control he had over his emotions could slip.

The drive was even harder than watching him die.

He talked and played music, anything to avoid the screaming silence, the way Jack was growing cold and stiff beside him. It didn’t work. His mind still repeated the horrified knowledge of “this was your child,” a broken record he feared would never stop.

Neither of them would recover from this.

He arrived after Rowena and nearly cried as she offered him a smile in her prim and proper way and asked if Jack would be joining them or staying in the car.

He didn’t know what gave it away. The unnatural stillness and silence of the car, one that he’d grappled with for hundreds of miles, perhaps. Maybe it was a witch’s intuition, since she’d seen enough over the last several hundred years. Maybe it was because he couldn’t answer her, or even look her in the eyes.

“Oh,” was all she said before embracing him. He couldn’t return it. He couldn’t tear his mind from the hug he had given Jack in the graveyard, how he hadn’t hugged back, how he’d kneeled rather than fight, and how he’d died even when Dean couldn’t go through with it. How it felt to hold Jack, limp and soundless in his arms.

The dam broke, and all that pain and grief and anger nearly brought him to his knees.

Rowena saw it: how broken he was, how broken he’d always been. He didn’t know who he was anymore if he wasn’t a father or an angel, yet he was neither anymore. What was he supposed to do now?

Maybe she understood that. She had suffered the loss of a loved one, too. She knew what it was to watch the world die around her, to lose herself for a time.

When Castiel was able to collect himself, pull the broken shards of his being back together, Rowena asked something that almost tore him apart again.

“Dearie, are you sure you want to…”

“I can’t bring him back. I talked to Death, and I can’t bring him back,” Castiel said softly. “I can’t have someone take advantage of what’s… left.”

“But something so permanent…”

“I would do it myself,” he offered, “but I seem to have fallen.”

Rowena gave him a strange look, the likes of which he hadn’t received in years, so he explained.

“I felt it. Something in me breaking. The emotion growing stronger. I don’t know how to describe it… It felt like when the angels fell. The same kind of desperation.”

“My dear, you’re still an angel. You still have your powers.” She looked him up and down. “Maybe you’re not as powerful as you once were, and you’re a smidge weaker than last we saw each other, but you’re far from powerless.”

Castiel looked away, lost.

“Maybe you can’t do it because you don’t want to,” she offered gently.

“What I want is for him to come back. But he needs to be….” He couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Rowena nodded, understanding.

They found somewhere private, somewhere quiet outside the city. The trees stood tall and proud and vibrantly alive. A felled one became the pyre.

Castiel placed Jack on it, still wrapped in the trenchcoat.

The flames that swallowed him were brilliantly red, orange, and gold like the ochre rocks on the horizon.

It took hours, even with the help of magic. Castiel stood by Jack’s side for all of it, even long after the embers had cooled and all that was left was a small pile of ash and smudges of soot. Rowena collected it up in a jar as the sun rose, and Castiel took it in his hands.

It never should have ended like this.

The day carried on as if Castiel’s world hadn’t ended hours ago. He was grateful to Rowena for what she had done, but even sitting in her kitchen he was too lost in grief to thank her.

Standing by a whistling teapot, she finally asked, “Would you like to talk about the wee boy?”

“It hurts too much.” Castiel bit into his lip, hard. What did it say about him, that he could hardly even say Jack’s name? Shame bubbled up, hatred of himself swift to follow.

“It hurts because of how much you loved him.”

“I still love him.”

“Yes.”

The pair fell silent for a long while and Rowena set a cup of hot tea in front of Cas before settling into her own seat.

“Rowena…”

“Yes, tweetie pie?”

“When did losing Oscar stop hurting?”

Rowena bowed her head, and Castiel knew the answer.

“It didn’t,” she finally said. “Just as losing Fergus hasn’t stopped hurting.”

Castiel’s instinct was right. This was something he would never recover from, would he?

“It’s a different kind of hurt, with time,” Rowena offered. “It stops being so keen. You survive and you try to carry on without them, because that’s what they would have wanted.” She stared deep into her tea. “You learn to talk about them, and to them, even though they’re gone.”

Castiel nodded and held his tea closer. He couldn’t see that happening, not with how much it hurt, but she was right: he would survive. With Jack gone, his deal would never come due. Happiness wouldn’t kill him because he would never feel it again.

Rowena offered him a place to stay for a few weeks, but Castiel declined. He couldn’t stay there, not where the earth was scorched and the air still smelled faintly of smoke. Instead, Castiel drove for hours, not paying much attention to where he was going until he found himself parked outside of the Bunker.

It wasn’t where he wanted to be, not by a longshot, but he had something he needed to do. The door creaked as loudly as it always had, and Castiel was halfway across the library before a voice called out to him.

“Cas.”

Dean.

“I’m here for his things. Then I’ll be on my way.”

“Cas, hey. Stop for a moment, would you?”

Castiel did.

“Look, alright.” Dean walked over until they could look each other in the eye. “I’m not proud of how everything went down. And I’ve given what you said some thought. You’re right. It is our fault, but it’s Chuck’s, too, man. You gotta see that.”

“What I see is that you’re finding any excuse you can to get the blame off yourself.”

Dean’s eyes darkened.

“Chuck has been toying with us—”

“No, you made the decision to kill him, just as I made the decision not to. You told me to get onboard or walk away, and I left you and Chuck both of my own choice. Because you taught me that people and families and love are worth fighting for, and I was going to fight for him!” Castiel tried to keep the waver out of his voice as tears brimmed in his eyes. “Chuck couldn’t have changed that even if he’d tried.”

“Maybe he didn’t want to, huh? You think of that? Maybe he wants us divided.”

“You should have thought about that before you tried to execute him in front of me.”

“Cas—”

“You had a choice and you made the wrong one.”

Castiel left him there in the library and locked himself in Jack’s room. Almost instantly, it proved to be too much, and he slumped down against the door, sobbing.

The room was holding its breath, waiting for Jack to come home. A half-read book sat on the desk, a few stray papers underneath. A pile of clothes waited patiently to be returned to a drawer. The nightstand was bare save for a pencil. One good deed….

Castiel packed it all away. He hated himself for destroying the illusion, for leaving the room as empty as his chest felt, but what he was waiting for would never happen. Jack would never walk through that door again. The decoder ring in the drawer would never be used. Everything had fallen into ruin.

He managed to get the first box into his truck with no issues, no run-ins or confrontations. The second box was smaller, and he rested it on a hip as he closed the bedroom door for the last time.

This time, he wasn’t so lucky. Dean watched him cross the room and quietly said, “You’re not the only one grieving him.”

“It’s not the same, Dean. You never felt his soul. You never took the time to know him: you spent your time trying to make up for wanting him dead. Well, you got what you wanted.”

Dean flinched at that, but Castiel didn’t care. His son was nothing but ash and a box and a half of belongings. Anger flared again.

“You think angels can’t feel.” He laughed bitterly. “Even though I’ve proven that wrong. Did you think killing him wouldn’t kill me, too? As if I haven’t given more for him than you could possibly imagine. As much as you’ve given for Sam. My life. My happiness… I signed away my future in a heartbeat so that he could come back and I would do it again. I tried to do it again.”

If only it would have worked.

“Wait, what?”

“I made a deal to save him. When I’m happy, the Empty will take me forever.”

Dean gaped at him in horror.

“Cas, what’ve you done?”

“What I had to. What any father would do. Don’t give me that look. You’ve done worse for Sam.”

“And it’s always come back to bite me in the ass.”

“Well, I haven’t been happy in years, so don’t worry about the deal.”

“You shouldn’t have made it in the first place.”

“Oh, so now only you get to make deals to save the people you love? Only you get to cheat death time and time again while the rest of us suffer?” Castiel looked at him incredulously, anger seeping through him. “Do you know how many brothers I’ve lost? Sisters? Friends? Now Jack. Why can’t I save them? Why should they stay dead when you and your brother have been raised so many times?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. We would have figured it out without making the deal!”

“We didn’t have the time! If I hadn’t made the deal I would have lost him forever, right then and there. I couldn’t stand by and watch him die!”

It would have killed him. And it had.

“We would have figured it out,” Dean maintained. “Like we always do!”

Castiel shook his head. “Then you figure it out. If you bring him back, I’ll be back, but until then…” Castiel looked around the wide expanse of the Bunker with a strange longing. This had never been home, but it could have been, just as his friendship with the Winchesters could have been more. He was leaving behind an almost.

“Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

“Cas, wait.”

As angry and tired as he was—as they both were—Castiel wanted to. A decade of comradeship, of camaraderie and pining, did that, made him reluctant to leave. Then he remembered standing between Dean and Jack, realizing that if that gun went off, he’d lose them both. He knew now that he’d lost them both long before that.

“Goodbye, Dean.”

It was years before they saw each other again.

It took longer than Castiel could ever admit to find peace.

He still ached for Jack to come back, felt the pain in every drawn breath, but Rowena was right. Billie was right. The anger lessened and the pain dulled. He missed his son but Jack would have wanted him to try to move on. He would have wanted Cas to be happy, despite the deal still hanging over his head even if Castiel couldn’t see it ever coming to fruition now. He owed it to Jack to try to be happy.

And he would. He had to. No matter how much it hurt, even if he still wanted nothing more than to bring him back or follow him in death. Jack survived through him, in his memories and his love. He couldn’t let what was left of his son go like that.

He’d moved to Washington, made a home of where Jack had been born and Kelly had died. Where he had burned. It was a little too empty, full of broken promises and loss and regret, as if it, too, struggled to let go. One day it would. Another family would come and clean it out, fill this home with love as it always should have been. Children would run out to the sand, oblivious of the ash mixed in, while their parents painted over Kelly’s mural and took down the pale yellow curtains that had reminded Cas of honey.

One day, all memory of Jack and the world his parents had tried to give him would be gone. But it wouldn’t be today.

Castiel made his way outside, stood where the rift had first appeared. If he looked closely, he could still see the imprint of wings in the earth. This was where he and Kelly had both burned.

Cautiously, Castiel looked to the sky, the twinkling lights of stars against an unpolluted sky. Jack loved space. He would have loved it here, able to see the stars every night without fail.

It was time to let go.

Gently, Castiel let the ash catch in the breeze, wander everywhere it liked and more until it was gone. Jack was gone.

Castiel swallowed hard and tilted his head back up to the sky, to the light of a thousand stars. If he looked hard enough, he could see the golden twinkle of Jack’s grace reflecting back, his eyes glowing against a sea of blue.

“Hello, Jack.”

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tamakiuwwdweeb · 2 years

Text

Real Smooth ~ Hitoshi Shinso 🌺☁️

TW; jokes about being kitty :>

Summary; Monoma can be an ass. Shinso finally had enough after picking on his crush.

Having a quirk that gives cat ears and a tail wasn’t exactly the type of one they’d expected to want to become a pro hero that saves people. But y/n decided to fight back, she knew her capabilities were of those worthy of being a pro in the hero industry. Yet daily y/n was faced with criticism and torment everyday by the one and only Monoma, the one guy she’d made a habit now of disliking to the full extent.

“What happens if you see a feather while on a job, gotta be irresistible to a little kitty.” Monoma joked while the rest of class just sighed with a blind eye to the girl with her ears down and tail curled.

All but one at least.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s just an idiot anyways.” The purple headed shy boy sat down in the seat beside y/n who watched him curiously.

“It’s okay, I’m use to it now.” Y/n quickly looked away when she accidentally seen he caught her starring at him.

“What’s your quirk?” Upon the question, Monoma just smirked thinking he was about to put y/n under his quirk.

“She’s just a stupid ca-” Monoma was cut off as his eyes went foggy.

“Apologize.” Shinso ordered Monoma with anger lacing his tone.

“I’m very sorry y/n for what I’ve done and said, you’re quirk is much stronger than mine and so I was intimidated. Please forgive me.” Monoma begged as shinso just kept his focus on sending Monoma daggers with his eyes.

“I think that’ll be good enough.” Shinso smirked to y/n who hid behind her hand to cover the laughs wanting to escape her mouth. “Wouldn’t you say so?”

“Pfft, yeah I think that’s perfect.” Her broken giggles made Shinso smile and feel warm inside, basking in the brightness her expression gave to the room.

“Eh? The hell did you do to me!? That not a-” On que kendo swiftly knocked Monoma out somewhat.

“Sorry about him, y/n. You’re amazing, just ignore him.” Kendo dragged Monoma away, leaving shi so and y/n at the back of the class together.

“You okay?” His voice was quiet as he questioned y/n.

“Yeah, thank you for that shinso, you’re too kind.” Y/n’s ears twitched as her face turned pink shortly after realizing he was looking at her with a gaze that made her stomach do flips.

“I’d do it a thousand times over. I really like your quirk by the way, it’s amazing…” shinso smiled as her tail brushed past him.

“Oh, thank you!” She jumped when her tail accidentally brushed him. “I like yours a lot too , you’re crazy strong.”

“Heh, that’s a first. Usually people reactions aren’t that… positive.” He laughed slightly, watching her tail move slowly side to side.

“Well people don’t usually see mine as a hero’s quirk, they think like Monoma that I’m just gonna get short minded like actual cat.” Her fists balled up with irritation remembering what he was saying before.

“Hey…” Shinso placed his hand on top of her balled fists. “It’s okay, don’t let him upset you. You’re amazing, I mean it.” He spoke with such sincerity that it made her face turn red rather than pink.

“Thanks…” y/n tried her best to turn away and hide from her own embarrassment, but shinso just smirked and held her hands tighter.

“I don’t think you understand fully how amazing you are, y/n.” He spoke, using his index finger to pull her face towards him to look in his eyes. “How about we go to that new café and study for the next test?”

“So a-”

“A study date, yeah. If you’re down of course.” Shinso seemed to doubt himself for a second, wondering if he should just use his quirk and make her forget.

“Okay, I’d like that actually.” Y/n’s tail picked up in pace, looping around his arm with excitement. “That sounds perfect.” Her smile seemed to block out all other voices and anyone nearby them.

“I-great! Okay, that’s great.” Shinso let out a deep breath he’d been unconsciously holding the entire time. “Today after classes?”

“Okay, I’ll meet you out front?” She began to gather her items for lunch.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you outside.” They both stood up at the same time, their faces accidentally ended up extremely near each other.

“Great.” Shinso held his breath, glancing down at her lips before back up to her eyes again.

“Perfect…” she mumbled, doing just the same.

“I’ll catch you later, cute little kitty.” He smirked and kissed her cheek quickly before retreating out to lunch, leaving y/n smiling widely with her tail wrapped around her torso.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hi! So of course characters rights are to MHA, if you have inspiration from any of my stories you’re welcome to write your own short/normal stories, just please give credit where it’s due! Copyrights of story line is my own, so again if you create something from inspiration this posts gives, just please tag and credit me <3

☁️ Much love to everyone. Stay healthy and safe out there bby ☁️

Also if you know me, you don’t. ;-;

#mha shinsou #shinsou x you #shinsou fluff #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinsou best boy #hitoshi shinso x y/n #shinsou x reader #shinsou x y/n #mha x y/n #bnha fluff #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia

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angelfishofthelord · 3 years

Text

"This isn't you"

Whumptober Day 12: begging (also on a03)

Based on my reverse Lebanon idea where the boys forget who Cas is and think he's one of Michael's angels spying on them. Only Mary remembers who Cas is.

When Castiel opens his eyes light comes streaming into his face, momentarily blinding him. All he can make out is the silhouette of Dean Winchester towering over him.

“Get up,” comes the brittle command.

Castiel makes no move, trying to remember how and why he’s stuffed into this small space as his eyes blink and notice the darkness around him. The back of his head is throbbing, but before he can piece his thoughts together he feels himself being yanked out of the trunk of the car. The sound of silver rattling pulls at his attention and he notices the Enochian cuffs around his wrists. He lifts his head he comes face to face with the copper muzzle of a rifle. It’s one of Bobby’s weapons, brought back from the Apocalypse World. Filled with angel-killing bullets.

It comes back to him now. The pearl. The spell. Sam and Dean. John. Mary. He feels the ache of cuts on his neck and arms, most likely from the fight back at the Bunker. They don’t seem too serious, but with the cuffs on he can’t heal them.

Dean’s finger lightly grazes the trigger. “Walk.” He nods towards the wooded area behind them.

One careless move on Dean’s part and Castiel will try to stop him with something non-lethal like knocking him unconscious; one wrong move on Castiel’s part, though, and he’ll be dead. Or dead faster than he’s already going to be.

So he walks. The gun digs into the back of his neck as Dean follows behind him. Low-hanging leaves slap against Castiel’s face and branches scratch at his cheeks but he keeps moving and hoping that Mary isn’t also marching to her death with the younger Winchester. He hopes she managed to overpower Sam and recite the undoing spell. Back at the Bunker he had reached for her when she’d fallen down, and it was that moment of taking his eyes off Dean that had lead to the blow on the back of his head.

After walking for about a mile Dean issues another command: “Stop.” He pivots Castiel roughly with a hand on his shoulder and levels an icy glare on him. “You know, I should have killed you back at the Bunker. You come after my brother, you tell me my dad doesn’t belong here--my own father--and then try to brainwash my mom into thinking you’re part of our family?”

“Dean, it’s not--”

A hand slams over his mouth and Castiel finds himself being shoved up against the nearest tree, rough bark scraping against his spine. “But then I realized my dad was right,” Dean goes on, hot breath in his face. “He always is, you know. Creatures like you never learn. I need to send them a warning message. I want them to find you here and know what we do to monsters like you.”

Dean reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys for the cuffs. For a second Castiel is foolish enough to think the spell is broken, but as soon as Dean tosses them aside he steps back and points the gun towards the ground at their feet. “Dig.”

“Dean, just listen to me--dig what?”

A slow smile snakes up one side of Dean’s face. “Your grave.”

Castiel stares at him, disbelieving.

The gun slants downward and Dean fires. Pain rips up Castiel’s lower left leg and he collapses to the ground, biting back a yelp of agony.

“Dig,” Dean repeats. “Now.”

The dirt gets stuck in clumps under his fingernails; orange and black beetles scurry between the ruptured earth and sharp pieces of rock cut into his fingertips but Castiel digs and digs and tries not to pray. It takes every ounce of control inside him not to think of Jack, not to think I’m so sorry Jack please don’t hate him. If Jack comes here to his rescue Castiel is going to have to watch his son be murdered and he’d rather die a hundred times than witness that. So he focuses his thoughts towards those he knows cannot hear him: Sam. Mary. Dean, even. You mustn’t blame yourself, he thinks as the earth caves under his fingers. You didn’t know it was me.

“Enough,” Dean finally says, kicking his hand aside.

Castiel starts to stand up. It’s a wobbly ascent with the wound in his leg but he manages to get upright by leaning a hand on the tree beside him. “Dean, please, think about it, you don’t--”

Dean cocks the gun. “Kneel.” His voice is rigid, absolute; his green eyes bright as a blade.

Castiel studies Dean carefully. He can see the gleam of an angle blade tucked in the back of his pants and the distinct outline of another inside his jacket. The Winchester is armed to kill a whole horde of angels. If Castiel did manage to knock the gun out of his hand he would still be killed immediately. With his injured leg running away isn’t even an option.

His knees bend slowly. When he hits the ground the wet grass soaks into his pants legs. “Dean.” He looks up, putting all his hope behind that word. “Just stop and listen to me. You have to believe--”

The flash of brass knuckles fills his vision before they connect against his cheek violently. The taste of blood floods his mouth.

“Don’t you fucking look at me,” Dean spits. “Scum.”

Castiel bows his head. He’s said everything he could think of, begged in every language of the heart, and nothing has been able to get through to Dean. This is going to be the end, and the knowledge of that almost takes his breath away. “Dean,” he gasps, keeping his head down. “Wait. One last thing, and it’s not about me. There’s a boy named Jack. You might meet him and not remember him, but he’s just a child.” A sob breaks over his lips. “Please, please don’t hurt him. He’s not human but he’s not evil. He’s your family.”

“Liar.” Dean crouches down and tips Castiel’s chin up with the tip of the gun. “I already have my family right with me, and I’ll get rid of anything and anyone that tries to get between them.”

“I forgive you,” Castiel whispers hoarsely. If Dean gets out from under this spell and realizes what’s he’s done Castiel wants him to remember that, more than anything.

Dean laughs, a sharp, cruel sound. “I thought only God can forgive sins.” His finger moves to the trigger. “Not that I want His mercy anyways.”

Castiel shuts his eyes. He doesn’t want the bitter disgust in Dean’s eyes to be the last thing he sees. He thinks of Jack, of the boy’s young soft smile, and prays. Jack. I’m sorry. I love you so much.

A heavy sound echoes through the woods, but it’s not a gunshot. Castiel opens his eyes to see the tall blurry form of Sam at the side. He's pinning a shouting Dean to the ground and reciting a string of words.

The undoing spell.

Then there’s movement to his left and before he can turn around Mary is kneeling in front of Castiel, her hands grazing over his leg and then the lump of her jacket presses over the gushing wound.

“Cas? Cas, oh my god, are you alright?”

“Mary.” He gazes into her eyes, bright with worry and not a trace of hate. “Mary.” His lungs finally release a breath of air and he leans forward and buries his face in her shoulder.

Mary gathers him into her arms. “I’m here. I'm here,” she repeats, rocking slightly back and forth. “It’s over.” She keeps her arms tightly wrapped around him, a promise to never let go.

#i might be thinking of expanding this idea into a multichapter fic #with a different plot and waaay more angst #my spn fic #whumptober 2021 #slipper007 #seraphcastiel #rambleoncas #userbon #plantdadcas #thisisapaige #offbeattraxx #playedwright #spn fanfic #dean winchester #castiel #spn 14x13

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kissingchoso · 3 years

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Adoration - Tooru Oikawa

Pairing: Tooru Oikawa x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: A very self indulgent piece about softdom!Oikawa.

Warnings: 18+ content, d/s relations, softdom!oikawa, subspace reader, consent asking, covering in cum, OOC oikawa (???? idk its my first time writing for him), it’s actually pretty soft.

A/N: lmao if you ever saw me say i’m not an oikawa fucker in my tags before, no you didn’t. that’s not me. wrong bitch. you can all thank the bestie cas ( @karasunosimp ) for encouraging this. i know she was waiting for me to finally convert, as well as other besties who wanted me to experiment with this fic. 🖤

You think you’re living in a pleasant dream once your boyfriend comes home. His heavy duffel bag is perched upon his shoulder, thick viens running down the lengths of his arms as well as muscles protruding through his skin. He looked pretty, even when the lines of exhaustion contorted his face. Still, he was considerate enough to greet you with a gentle, “Hey baby,” and a kiss to your forehead.

It’s not much, but he promises to show you some more loving post shower. It’s hard to deny when his breath ghosts your ear and he chuckles when your body goes slightly rigid from his close proximity.

It’s a short endeavor, regardless. Oikawa finishes his shower with just enough time before your eyes close for the night. It doesn’t matter that his hair is still damp or is the fact the steam from the shower clings to his bare chest when he looms over you.

He’s already rock hard by the time he’s on top of you, hardened dick rubbing against the exposed skin of your thigh. A gentle grumble sounds from a deep part of his chest before his lips are pressed against yours.

Sometimes you think its not fair to have such a pretty man like this. For you to be the only one to bear witness in his most vulnerable state while the rest of the world gets to watch him grow higher than ever. For you to be the only person to center him back to reality, to ease his worries, to let him fuck you silly as he exerts the remaining bits of his energy for the day. It’s poetic, really.

It doesn’t take long for him to have you naked, reluctantly pulling away from your warmth so he can strip you bare. There’s a slight sense of urgency as he’s taking off your clothes, hands heavily pawing at your thighs to spread them open for him.

“C’mon pretty, let me taste you. Think you can let me do that?” He waits, as always, for your consent. There’s always a mixture of light and darkness in his eyes whenever you two get intimate. As easy as it could be for him to take what he wants, he’d rather hear those filthy words leave your lips and watch as you bashfully turn away from his gaze.

Nonverbal answers are simply unacceptable, and you know this.

So why do you get choked up every time he looks at you like this?

All you could muster is a faint whimper, gently knocking your knee against his shoulder but the hold on your hips tighten, almost punishingly. “Ah ah ah. C’mon, y’know the rules. Don’t make me repeat myself,” the warning was clear, yet you know he had no fight left in him to punish you at all tonight. Despite the hardness in his voice, you can tell all he was looking forward to is hearing you cry out his name tonight.

“P-Please,” the kisses on your inner thighs are encouraging, hinting to what you desire most but denying you that bit of pleasure you so desperately desire. He can’t keep spoiling you forever. “Tooru, please eat me out! Wanna cum for you! Wanna be your good girl.”

He shushes you with a soft chuckle against your pelvic bone. “Music to my ears, baby girl. Don’t worry, daddy’ll take care of you~”

And he does! The same way he has you gripping the bedsheets with his tongue is the same when he’s finally fucking you on his dick. Bare chests against each other as he rocks his hips into you with a semi-steady beat. It’s raw, intense, and filled with broken versions of each other’s names.

He’s present the entire time, face buried deep into your neck as he loses himself in the feeling of your gummy and warm cunt. Dick drilling into you, using all eight inches to bury deep inside of you, hips angled at the perfect position so he is brushing against your womb with his tip. It’s absolutely intoxicating.

Oh, don’t be embarrassed when you cum too early. He’s kissing those pesky tears in the corners in your eyes, hips transfer to a gentle grind. “You’re good, sweetheart. You’re good. Hey, look at me.” It takes some coaxing, but when you finally manage to focus in on the chocolate eyes staring into yours, he’s greeting you with a smile. “There she is,” he cooes, rolling his hips against yours slowly.

“Hah, Tooru~”

“Think you can hold out for me, sweetheart?”

“Y-You didn’t-” it’s hard to focus on anything, what with the way his hips are involuntarily humping your heat. Control is slowly becoming harder for him to grasp, but he is doing his best. For you.

“I know baby, I know. I’m close though. Can I fuck you some more, hm? Just give me a couple more minutes” his question needs no begging. The response is immediate with the way you wrap your legs around his waist and start nodding that it nearly dizzies you. Another praise falls from his lips before he’s picking up his pace again.

For some reason, you’re more acutely aware of the balls slapping against your ass or the squelching sound that comes from between your legs whenever Tooru adjusts himself or the sounds of his moans getting louder the closer he got. The best part? It was all for you!

Pretty girl who he thinks about starting and ending his day. The one who puts all this trust in him, so much that he can freely do the things he wants with you with no hesitation. Even if it meant living with your dom with no issues or strings attached.

It’s true what he said, all he needed was a couple of minutes inside of your wet pussy before he was sitting up and pulling his hips back far enough so he could cover your lower body with his cum. It feels like fire against your skin, but you love it. All because it came from your special Tooru.

“Fuck, I love you so much Y/N,” he gently crooned to you.

“Love you too, Tooru~”

#🖤. thirst #🖤. oikawa #cw// d/s relations #oikawa x reader #oikawa smut #oikawa scenarios #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu smut #tooru oikawa #toru oikawa #toru oikawa x reader #oikawa x fem!reader #i’m so— sick #i’m just gonna accept this crush while i’m ahead of myself 🤡#goodnight

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sarah-bae-maas · 3 years

Text

Gwyn wants to explore, and Azriel needs a friend - a Gwynriel fic - Part 1

In honour of this blog turning five years old, I thought I would treat you all to a two part/chapter Gwynriel fic that has been wandering around in my brain throughout countless days of lockdown and tortuous university classes.

I’m already well underway with part 2 of this fic, but I do have some assignments coming up, so expect it within the fortnight!

So please do enjoy this nearly 15k words worth of Gwynriel goodness <3

Masterlist Ao3

_____________

She was staring at him.

Again.

Azriel had always paid special attention to Gwyn – not that he would tell her that, of course. It was a secret held deep in his shadows that she was his favourite Valkyrie, the one he thought the most brave and resilient. It would not be an unpopular opinion if he did share it, the other women looked at her with great admiration, and Nesta often sung her praises when the female wasn’t there to refute her words. But Azriel knew the presumptions people might make if they knew he thought it, and the last thing he wanted was for a misunderstanding to make Gwyn uncomfortable.

Gwyn was holding a bag for Emerie to kick, her stance strong enough that she didn’t flinch at all with each pummel. Her focus should have been on Emerie’s form, but rather her teal eyes were glued to him. Every time Azriel looked over at her, she quickly shifted her gaze to her friend, but his shadows constantly reminded him that Gwyn was once again paying her attention to him.

Cassian called the end of the session. Azriel was grateful, he was finding it harder and harder to train the women effectively when he knew Gwyn was right there.

He practically fled the scene, his cheeks brushed with red, barely nodding to the women who said their thanks to him as he passed. It’s not that he didn’t like her attention, but it made his stomach feel heavy, his hands shake, and he didn’t like how out of control he felt whenever she looked at him like that.

He settled in the dining room. Standing, he braced his hands on the table, a bead of sweat dripping off his forehead and tarnishing the wood. Nesta wouldn’t like if he got his sweat all over the table, even though her and Cassian had coated it in far more scandalous bodily fluids. He should do something productive, like work or eat or pester Rhys and Feyre to have Nyx for the afternoon, but instead he chose to close his eyes and picture the person who’d been haunting him.

He and Gwyn were friends. She was over nearly every night to eat with Nesta, their dinners a sort of lively Azriel hadn’t experienced since he’d lived in Illyria with Rhys and Cas. It was joyful to live in a space filled with such light, but also overwhelming. Azriel found that as much as he loved the time with the rag-tag team they’d made for themselves, his social timer still clicked in his mind as a constant reminder that sometimes dealing with people, even the ones you loved, could be utterly exhausting.

Not with Gwyn though, his shadows lamented, setting him straight. No, Azriel never felt tired with her.

“Az?”

As though his thoughts alone had summoned her, Gwyn’s voice startled him out of his reverie. He turned, his lips parting slightly at the sight of her.

She was still in her training gear – a shirt and pants lovingly stitched by Emerie with embroidered flowers decorating the seams – her neat braid falling around her face, framing her pearlescent skin in fire.

“Gwyneth. Do you need something?”

Her eyes were wide, her hands clasped in front of her as she wrung her fingers. It made Azriel tilt his head in confusion, not understanding why she was so nervous. They spoke every day, she mouthed off at him often, and her shift in confidence had him surprised.

“I have a proposition for you, but you must promise to not tell a soul.”

Azriel raised a brow, leaning back into the table. He spread his hands before him. “I’m listening.”

Gwyn swallowed, her cheeks turning the same shade of red as her hair.

“Imsturbalt,” she squeaked.

“What?”

“I masturbate a lot!” She smacked her hands over her mouth, as if betrayed at the words they spilled.

Azriel’s jaw went slack, his eyes near bugging from his skull. “Okay… that’s good? Self-exploration!” He half-heartedly waved a celebratory fist in the air, not sure what to say to her statement.

She groaned louder than a stabbing victim. “I was thinking that, I didn’t intend to say it aloud.” She rubbed her hands over her face, peeking at him through her fingers. “Please don’t tell anyone I said that.”

“Your secrets are safer with me than they are anyone else.” Azriel smiled, trying to diffuse the obvious tension in her body. “So, your proposition?”

She tensed her jaw, moving her arms behind and looking at the ground as she spoke. “I guess my previous statement that will never be mentioned again to anyone if you like having the functional use of your organsperhaps wasn’t entirely irrelevant to what I’m going to ask you. But I beg, please let me finish before you say anything, and also don’t feel pressured to say yes.”

“Okay.”

“Silence.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She grinned at him, her eyes finally meeting his again. “As you know, better than anyone really, I have a difficult past.”

Azriel wished he could burn the images of finding her on that table from his mind. He’d had to actively teach himself not to envision her crying and screaming for her sister when she’d first became a permanent fixture in House of Wind. He’s seen many horrific things in his time, was no stranger to the worst humanity had to offer, but it was different when it was someone so vulnerable, so selfless, so important to him. It might have made him a bad person that he didn’t equate people’s trauma accordingly, but how could he possibly care for a stranger as much as he cared for Gwyn?

“What happened to me made me fear my body. Fear the sexuality I see women like Nesta and Mor own. They’re so powerful, and the things that have happened to them… They’re not broken. They’re not less. They’re not afraid.” She paused, sighing deeply. “I would never look upon anyone in the library as lesser than because of the things that have happened to them. It wasn’t until I met Nesta and Emerie that I realised I didn’t give myself the same grace. I want to own the parts of me that were stolen. I want to feel like my body belongs to me. I didn’t even know where to begin, but then the House gave me this book, some fluffy romance novel, and the girl in it was just like me. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just felt so seen. Like the Mother herself had handed this smut piece into my lap to make me feel better.”

Gwyn moved to one of the lounge chairs that Cassian had haphazardly shoved into a corner one night when Nesta didn’t feel like moving from the dining room. Gwyn was effortlessly graceful as she sat and curled her legs up, her head resting on her fist.

“That’s where the masturbating comes in.” Her eyes avoided his again, focusing on patterns her fingers drew in the velvet material of the chair. “The girl in the book did it. She’d never had an orgasm either. So, I did too.” She laughed quietly. “It made me feel good. Not just the physical pleasure part, but the part where it was just me, empowering myself at a pace I was comfortable with.”

Azriel wished he could say something, but one, he knew to be silent and let her have this moment, and two, he didn’t know how to tell someone he was proud of them for touching themselves without it sounding weird. He was proud though, extremely so, at how strong she felt from acting on her wants. Her resilience had always astounded him.

“In the book, the girl meets this man.” Her voice lowered, barely more than a whisper. “He treats her so kindly, in a way that I’ve seen Cassian treat Nesta a million times, in a way I yearn to be treated. I’ve given myself a clean slate. This body, my body, has only been touched by me. I am whole. I was never broken, just healing. And I’m at a stage where I want more. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

Azriel wished her could say yes, please the eager note in her voice that hoped he was on the same page as her, but even his shadows were silent to her desires.

She glanced at him just long enough to see him shake his head. She tipped her head back. “When Nesta first started sleeping with Cassian, I was so curious. What were they doing? What was he doing to make her look so satisfied? But when I tried to picture it, my stomach would churn. And then time passed. I grew stronger. I became a Valkyrie. And like many others before me and many more in the centuries to come, I walked in on Cassian and Nesta fucking.”

Azriel inhaled sharply. To hear the vulgarity fucking from a mouth so pure sent a bolt through him, and he chided himself for his inappropriate thoughts during such a serious conversation.

“They don’t know I saw, not that I think they would have minded. I would bet good money that if I asked for a demonstration on pleasurable acts Cassian and Nesta would be more than happy to comply. Where I might have once felt sick from seeing them, instead I felt-”

She cut herself off, looking for the right words.

“I felt burning desire. I’ve never been so envious of someone in my life. I didn’t want to have sex with Cassian, but by the Cauldron I wanted to feel the way that Nesta did. I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t know you were such a good secret keeper. Or such a good friend.”

Azriel couldn’t bite his tongue any longer. “Gwyn, what do you want from me?”

“I want you to have sex with me.”

***

Azriel stared at his ceiling, his shadows dancing and rolling around him.

I want you to have sex with me.

He tested the words on his own lips. They tasted sweet. They also brought an uncomfortable amount of pressure to his cock. He refused to touch it though and kept both his hands firmly behind his head.

He’d told Gwyn he needed to think about it, and she understood. She said she didn’t expect an answer from him straight away.

Azriel had a lot to consider.

He was practically titillated that when Gwyn had decided she wanted to explore herself with a male, it was him who she thought of. She expressed that it was because she knew he’d care for her, that he’d respect her and because of how much she trusted him. There were not words to express how hearing such things felt to him. It made him want to do this for her, because his soul be damned he knew he would do right by her. Make her feel good, feel special, feel appreciated.

It would be amiss though not to acknowledge that if he did do this, let her warm his bed while he tasted her, it could ruin not just the friendship they had established but also the dynamic of the house. She had assured him that if his answer was no, they would continue their lives as if the conversation never happened.

Which brought a darker thought to his mind.

If not Azriel, then who? She would surely approach someone else. Someone not deserving of her, who might not treat her how she deserved to be treated. That was not to say Azriel thought that in all his bastardly ways he was what Gwyn should have – no, she deserved more than he could ever give – but at least he knew that she would be safe with him.

The thought of another male’s hands on her made him see red.

That was answer enough.

***

Nesta and Cassian were gone for the weekend, caring for Nyx while Feyre and Rhys had a romantic getaway for the weekend. Azriel secretly thought Nesta was using this as a trial to see if her and Cassian were ready for a baby.

It was the perfect opportunity to have Gwyn join him.

The day after she’d approached him, he’d slipped her a note after training to say that he was all in, and to meet him the next night. He tried not to watch her face as she read the note but couldn’t help it. She went bright pink, but she seemed exhilarated.

And now she was standing in his room.

They nervously looked at each other. Azriel wanted to give her the chance to speak first other than their obligatory greetings, but she was tongue-tied.

“I was thinking we should take this in steps,” Azriel said, sitting on the edge of his bed, watching her refrain from pacing back and forth.

“That seems logical. What sort of steps?”

“I was thinking tonight we take sex off the table.”

“What?” Her face fell, hurt evident in her expression.

“Just for tonight. Gwyn, have you had your first kiss?”

She shook her head no.

“Then maybe we do that. And anything beyond only what you want. I need you to know that you’re in control here. Whatever we do or don’t do is completely your decision.”

She nodded, a small smile gracing her lips. “That sounds reasonable. Like you’re my little puppet.” Her hands mimed using a marionette, and Azriel found it easy to reciprocate her smile.

She moved to his side, planting herself on the bed next to him. He couldn’t help but notice the how good she smelled, how carefully her hair had been arranged and how she’d worn her nicest dress. She had wanted to look good for him, and the thought made his heart squeeze.

He reached out and held the hands she clasped in her lap. It made her look at him, her teal eyes flashing in the room only lit by his fireplace.

“You’re a very good friend, Azriel.”

“Do you want me to kiss you, Gwyn?”

She nodded, turning her body to face him.

He brushed her cheek with his thumb, then her lips, before he settled on cradling her face. She leant her head into his hand, so trusting as she looked at him. His hand was so big that the fingers that lay on her neck could feel her hammering pulse.

She leant in the same time he did.

At first it was just a peck. Their lips brushing against each other’s so gently it made Azriel ache. He pressed his lips to her again, and again, getting her used to the feeling of his lips on hers. She enthusiastically reciprocated, her slender fingers running up his chest before meeting behind his head, tangling themselves in his hair. He smiled against her mouth, pleased at such a reaction when the real kissing had yet to even start.

His grazed his tongue along her lip, and she eagerly opened her mouth, letting his tongue slip inside her. The noise she made at the contact buzzed straight through him, and he was pleasantly surprised when Gwyn, in all her eagerness, took control of him.

She kissed him as though she had done it her whole life, like her mouth belonged on his, and the feel of her delicate tongue made him deepen their kiss, angling her head so they could better feel one another. She was practically leaning back, and if this had been a meaningless one night stand she’d have been on her back by now with Azriel’s mouth between her thighs.

She broke away from him, his mouth instinctively following hers as it wanted more, making her gleam in pride.

“I want to change positions,” she said, her hands still wired into his hair.

“Anything you want,” he replied breathlessly.

Azriel didn’t know what to expect, but it was not her getting up and crawling into his lap. She straddled his thighs, and there was no way she wouldn’t be able to feel his erection pressing against her. He did with his hands what any male would do in this situation, and her giggle was enough to know that she’d wanted him to do that.

“Your hands are on my ass,” she laughed.

“Is that okay?”

“Very much so.” She took a deep breath. “Take your shirt off. Please.”

He obliged.

“And you should – you should take off my dress too.”

“Are you sure?”

“I have a slip on underneath.”

His hands shook slightly as they ran up her sides and to her back, undoing each button on her dress. To give her a more authentic experience, he decided to lean in as he did, kissing a new spot on her neck with each button that came undone.

She raised her arms so that he could slip the dress over her head, and he averted his eyes when her slip rode up with it. He didn’t look back until she had adjusted herself. When he did, he nearly fainted.

She was divine in her beauty. He always saw lovely she was, anyone with eyes would. Her body was lean and tight. Her uniform may have hidden it, but she had the power of any warrior in her body. Azriel wondered if she purposefully hid her strength so that it was a secret part of her arsenal. Smart female.

He ran his hands up her spread legs before planting them back on her ass. Unable to resist, he squeezed his hands, making her groan.

“Your hands feel so good,” she gasped. “Do everyone’s hands feel like that, or is it just you?”

He snickered. “Anyone who is worth their weight knows how to make a female feel good.” He bumped her shoulder with his nose. “What would you like me to do now? Do you want to keep kissing?”

“Fuck yes I want to keep kissing.” She leaned forward, her breasts pressing against his chest as she playfully nipped at his bottom lip. “But maybe we could do other things. Even better things.”

“What do you have in mind?”

Gwyn reached behind her and grabbed one of the hands resting on her behind. For the first time since they’d started, she looked nervous. Her legs were shaking, and Azriel was unsure if it was anxiety or anticipation for whatever she had planned.

She guided his hand under his slip until he was cupping her sex.

“You aren’t.” He swallowed hard. “You aren’t wearing underwear.”

She shook her head playfully. “I didn’t think I would need to.”

She pressed his hand into her, and he moaned at the wetness he found. She was so slick for him already, and all they had done was kiss. He did an exploratory brush through her folds, and as at the tip of his finger grazed over her clit, she arched into him, holding on tight to his shoulders.

He started teasing her, obsessed with the little noises she was making at the back of her throat as he did, but he soon realised something.

Usually, when Azriel was with a female, they got progressively more… turned on. Their bodies would react to his touch, and his fingers would be coated in their juices before he even attempted to enter them with either his fingers or his cock.

Gwyn was not.

It seemed the more he touched her, the more it was like her body didn’t want this. For all intents and purposes, she was… drying up?

His hand went still, and he could feel her body instinctively relaxing as his hand left her pussy.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, clinging to him.

“You don’t enjoy this.” He made her look him in the eye, and his throat tightened at how she looked. There were tears lining her eyes and a deep furrow on her forehead.

“I do, I promise I do. I’m just nervous. If we – if we just overcome this one thing-”

“No, Gwyn.”

“Please Azriel,” she said desperately, trying to guide his hand back between her thighs.

As gently as he could, he lifted her from his lap and placed her beside him on the bed. Her breath shuddered, and he couldn’t bear the shattered look on her face.

She didn’t say a word, just stood up and tried to locate her dress. Azriel didn’t even know where he had thrown it, but he stood and stopped her from looking anyway.

“Gwyn…” He grasped her hands in his, towering over her as they faced each other. “I want to do this for you, please believe me when I say that. But maybe we just need to take a few more steps first. Do something else before that.”

“What else is there?” She was dejected, her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know what I’m doing Az. And I swear on the Cauldron I want this. Fuck, this is so embarrassing. I’m just so nervous, and I get in my head about everything I do-”

“Hey hey hey, stop that.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and the ropable tension in her body started to ease out. She slumped against him, his arms wrapping around her in an embrace. “This is fine. Great, even.”

“You are such a liar.” She sighed, but at least she returned his embrace, tucking herself into him so they were as close as possible.

He tried to think of ways to salvage the night for her, to give her at least a little bit of what she wanted.

An idea sprang to mind.

“Gwyn?”

“Mmm?”

“Get on the bed. Lie down.”

She looked up at him hopefully. She didn’t need to be told twice. She practically flung herself at the bed, laying down on her back and resting her arms above her head. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the way she clenched her thighs together than spread them apart like a silent invitation.

Azriel couldn’t help but brighten at her enthusiasm. He undid the buttons on his pants and kicked them down so he was naked before her.

“I thought we weren’t having sex!” She jolted to her side, holding herself up on her arms and staring at his penis, her eyes practically bulging out of her head at the sight of it.

There were many things Azriel did not like about himself. But he had a damn fine cock.

He laughed at the look on her face and shook his head. “We’re not having sex. I’m not even going to touch you.”

She deflated. “Really? Not even a little bit?”

He followed her to the bed, climbing over her without touching her and planting himself next to her so they were lying side to side. He turned his head to her, and she looked at him curiously.

“We’re not just going to lie here naked, are we? It’s a bit cold for that.”

It was a little chilly. Her nipples were hard under her slip, which had ridden up to her stomach.

“No, but we can get under the blanket if you want.”

Her gaze raked up and down his body. “I’m happy above the blanket.”

They laid in a comfortable silence for a moment, happily taking in each other’s bodies. She was the most exquisite thing he had ever seen, and he was glad to see that their kissing antics had left her dishevelled. He liked that look on her.

“Are you actually not going to touch me?”

“I’m not. I think you should touch yourself.”

“Pardon?”

“I’ll touch myself, too. It’ll be a way for us to be more comfortable with each other. For you to be in control of your pleasure.”

“Will you watch me?” she murmured.

“If that’s okay. You can watch me, too.”

She considered his words, and Azriel wondered if this was in fact not the good idea he’d thought he’d had. She pursed her lips, and he knew her answer when she grabbed the hem of her slip and pulled it off, leaving her naked before him.

They stared into each other’s eyes as her hand brushed over her exposed breasts, and Azriel had to hold himself back from taking them in his mouth, from pinching her perked nipples with his teeth. Maybe later, that could come; he thought she would quite like it.

Her right hand kneaded her breast and tweaked her nipple while her left dipped down between her legs. Two fingers ran over her core, and he studied the way she massaged herself so that he could do it to her in the future. At the sight, he tentatively grasped his cock, wanting to make sure that she was truly okay with him touching himself at the vision of her with her fingers dipping inside her, moistening herself before focusing on her clit.

Her eyes flickered to his stroking hand, and her response nearly made him finish then and there like a teenager exploring themselves for the first time. She’d seen him, and lifted her leg so that it was draped over one of his, giving her a better angle on her clit and twining them together.

“I’m used to being quiet,” she shuddered. “So that no one hears me.”

“Be as loud as you want. Scream for me.”

Her hand quickened, and his sack tightened as he matched her speed with his own hand, gripping himself tightly. He moaned so loudly that he was once again thankful that Cassian and Nesta weren’t in the house. Even the magic of the walls mightn’t contain the pleasure pulsing through him as he watched her.

Her legs started to shake, and the little noises she’d made before were no more. Her voice was loud as she no longer held herself back from feeling even ounce of her impending orgasm.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, her hips starting to gyrate against her hand.

“You. All I can think of is you,” Azriel moaned. He pumped himself quicker, his grip becoming harder.

“What about you,” he whispered in her ear. “Are you thinking about what you saw Cassian do to Nesta?”

Her toes curled at his words. “I’m thinking of what I saw them doing, but it’s you and me.”

“What are we doing, Gwyneth?”

Her eyes fluttered shut. Her tongue licked her lips before she bit down on them. “We’re in the library. You have me bent over one of the desks, and you’re taking me from behind. One of your arms is around me, and you’re flicking my clit as I scream your name. You’re so deep in me, Azriel, I can feel every inch of you as I clench around you. Cauldron, you feel so good. The best thing I’ve ever felt, Az.”

His breath hitched, and he felt himself on the brink of coming. What finally did him in was her teeth biting down on his shoulder as she screamed his name, her orgasm making her whole body shake as it overcame over.

When they had both come down from their highs, they laid trying to catch their breath, both their bodies covered in sweat.

“That was amazing,” she sighed, turning to face him.

He grabbed a corner of the unused blanket beneath them to wipe himself off, then turned to face her, an arm going around her waist and his lips pressing a kiss to her forehead and cheek.

He wanted to look at her body, finally relaxed and languid, but his shadows had another idea. They bathed over her like silk, dancing over her curves and crevices, making her laugh.

“I quite like them,” she said, her eyes starting to drift closed.

“Are you tired?”

“Mhmm.” She snuggled into him further, stealing his warmth. His cock responded to her touch, but it was too soon yet to do anything meaningful.

“Move up for a sec.”

“Is that you trying to hint that I should go?” Her voice was joking, but the look on her face said that she’d go if he wanted her too.

“Absolutely not, you’re staying here with me. I’m just grabbing the blanket.”

She moved away just long enough for him to pull the blankets over them and pull her to his chest again.

She made a content noise and closed her eyes to sleep, and Az thought to himself that he didn’t care if this one day ended their friendship, because it might very well be the best time of his life anyway.

***

The next two weeks were filled with them sneaking away and feverishly touching themselves in all sorts of ways. Once, Gwyn sat in his lap naked while they stroked themselves, kissing each other the entire time. Another time, she pleasured herself by grinding against his thigh and he palmed himself – they hadn’t even bothered to take their clothes off. A late-night training session had led to her using a particularly shaped massage tool on herself in very a scandalous way while he watched, near feral at the sight of her pumping into herself. He did not return that item to the training ring, instead he kept it in his bedside drawer for future use.

It wasn’t until sixteen days and countless orgasms into their agreement that Azriel was finally able to touch her.

It had been a busy night. Rhys, Feyre, Nyx, Mor and Emerie were over for dinner, and it had been the most fun Az had had in a group since last solstice. At the table, he’d had Feyre on one side and Gwyn on the other, and her little secret touches to his thigh made him feel warm all over.

It wasn’t necessarily an arousing touch, just an affectionate one. When the group had started to disperse to drink, Nesta the sober adult taking care of Nyx, Az noticed Gwyn sneak away. He promptly followed her, making sure everyone was distracted as he did so no one noticed what they were doing.

Within a few minutes he was between her thighs tasting her. She had mentioned the night before that she wanted his tongue on her, and by the Cauldron was he happy to oblige. She was sitting on the edge of desk in the library that she’d described to him all those weeks ago, and whilst on his knees before her, he jerked himself off as she crumbled beneath his mouth.

Thankfully, by the time they returned, people were far too tipsy to question where they’d been.

Except for Nesta, who looked suspiciously between the two of them. Whatever she was thinking, it was at Gwyn’s behest if she knew anything. It was her decision, always, what happened between them, and if she wanted people to know about their sneakiness, that was for her to decide.

Seven days later is when she first touched him. Until that point it had all been about her, which is what Azriel wanted. They were on his bed, his fingers deep inside her as they kissed, when her hand brushed against his cock. He moved his hips aside, and she broke their kiss off with a noise of indignation.

“Stop swatting my hands away!” She flicked his nose with her finger.

“Huh?” He was still dazed on the sound of his hand gliding through her dripping wet core.

“Do you not want me to touch you?” Her voice was curt.

“I just want this to be about you. I don’t want you to think that I’m only with you for my own sexual gratification. The only thing that matters to me is your happiness, my soul purpose is you. You’re my priority.” He kissed her neck. “My desires are your desires.” Another kiss. “I can’t focus if you’re anything less than panting and satisfied.”

She pursed her lips, a familiar expression at this point. It turned into a joyful smile, and she smacked a kiss to his lips. “That was actually very sweet. After I get you off, I’m going to sit on your face.”

What was even better than the heavy petting and intense make out sessions was the talking. Sometimes for hours they would just tangle themselves together and divulge their life stories. Azriel knew all about her sister and mother – Gwyn confessing that she felt guilt when her twin wasn’t on the forefront of her mind, but sometimes she pushed her away because the memory of her was overwhelmingly devastating. Az wiped her tears away, desperate to see her smile again. But he also knew of all the good times she’d had growing up, and it made him feel alight inside to know how loved she was. Az told her mostly of Rhys and Cassian and the family they had made for themselves, about how it was so hard to be away from his mother, but he wouldn’t have survived another day in his father’s presence. Gwyn cried for him sometimes, and Azriel had never known such empathy from another.

When they were alone in the House, Nesta and Cassian off on one of their sexcations, Gwyn would spend her evenings and nights with him just as a friend, doing housework and menial tasks that she didn’t have to while humming various tunes. Az would tell her to stop working, but she would just grin and say she liked feeling like part of a home too much to not pretend that she lived there too. So he would just hum with her, his shadows dancing and swaying the way they always inevitably did around her. Then they would fall into bed together (or any surface really) until they were spent and exhausted.

Azriel had never known happiness like this.

***

Azriel was buzzing with excitement. He’d left Gwyn wrapped up in his bed, the sun not yet risen, and made sure to leave her some breakfast on his nightstand and the fire burning to keep her warm without his body next to hers. Usually he would wake her up early with his head between her thighs so she could go back to the library, but she had already told the acolytes she roomed with that she would be staying with Nesta, so no need to sneak around when no one was expecting her.

Before they’d gone to sleep the night before, Gwyn said something to him that left him smiling even now as he made his way to Rhys.

I want to have sex, Az. I’m sure. I know I’m safe with you.

Az didn’t know why Rhys needed him, but if it involved leaving Velaris, he would barter for a few more days so that he might be with Gwyn before he left. An odd feeling entered his chest at the thought. He couldn’t name the feeling; he just knew he didn’t want to leave Gwyn alone.

He landed on the doorstep of Feyre and Rhys’ home. Before he had the chance to let himself in, Feyre opened the door, a grave look on her face.

“Quick. Before they start yelling.” Feyre pinched her nose, the other hand holding Nyx on her hip.

Azriel pushed past her, and it wasn’t hard to find the source of Feyre’s frustration.

“Once again you fucking asshole, you need to back off. How dare you-”

“Nes, calm down-”

“Tell me to calm down again Cassian and I’m out of here. As I was saying, how fucking dare you accuse her of such things, Rhysand, High Lord of Shitting me up the Wall.”

“Nesta, for fuck’s sake you’re getting defensive for no reason!”

“No reason?!” she spat, Cassian holding her back before she lunged at Rhys.

“Too late,” Feyre muttered at him as she walked into the office, sitting at the desk to remain neutral in Nesta and Rhysand’s pissing match. Azriel would love to know what had riled them up so much that they were nearly screaming at each other, but any guidance from his brothers was not there.

“You have to admit that it’s suspicious, Nesta!”

Rhys threw his arm at Azriel as he approached, looking triumphant. “Azriel will agree with me.”

“He will not.”

“May I ask what I might need to agree to, or will it remain a mystery as to why you’re yelling so early in the morning?” Az crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for them to stop acting like children.

“Rhys accused Gwyn of being a spy,” Nesta growled.

“You’re twisting my words! I said I’d had reports of her acting strange, of her behaviour being completely different, and I suggested that it was worth looking into. We have to consider the safety of Velaris, and Gwyn would be the perfect plant.”

Azriel was sure Rhys was going to say more, but he was interrupted by Azriel’s uncontrollable fit of laughter. His laughs shook his whole body, and he felt tears in his eyes from how hard his fit was hitting him. He had to bend over to try and catch his breath, clutching at his chest as though his lungs might leap out of it.

“What’s so funny,” Rhys deadpanned.

Azriel shook his head and walked to Nesta, putting an arm around her shoulder.

“Are you serious, Rhys? Gwyn? Gwyenth Berdara?”

“Yes, I’m serious. Both Clotho and Merrill have approached me. Clotho, because she was worried, and Merrill, because she thought that Gwyn was being insubordinate. Clotho has had multiple girls come to her in fear for Gwyn, saying she’s been disappearing at night and coming back early in the morning. They she’s tired, unfocused, and that she’s exceeding every expectation they had for her in training and acting like a different person in the library. This has all been reported over the last month.” Rhys picked Nyx out of Feyre’s arms to calm himself before continuing. “Gwyn knows incredibly sensitive information about us. She helped us with the Trove, she treats the House of Wind like she bloody lives there. She’s awfully comfortable for a person who previous to knowing us refused to leave the library.”

Any humour Azriel felt had been leeched from his body. Nesta’s verbal beating of Rhys had been justified and then some.

“With all due respect, you can go fuck yourself,” he bit at his brother.

Feyre made a noise in the back of her throat and took Nyx back from Rhys before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

Too much swearing for such little ears! she said into their minds as she was leaving.

“What the fuck, Az?” Rhys looked startled.

“I knew he’d side with me,” Nesta said smugly.

“She’s ‘awfully comfortable?’ Yeah, she is, because she found a fucking family. Nesta is like a sister to her, and she’s over at the House a lot not because she’s entitled, but because we want her there. You might not make that much of an effort with Nesta’s friends because of your own personal shit, but Cassian and I consider her a close friend. Accusing her of anything unbecoming, to me, is as bad as if you’d dragged me in here to tell me Cassian was working against us. You sound ludicrous. Also, need I remind you, it’s not your fucking House anymore. Who we have over is none of your damned business.”

Rhys scoffed. “It’s not your House either.”

“Sorry, High Lord Rhysand, I’ll manage my expectations.” Az clenched his jaw at Rhys’ words. He was right. Azriel didn’t technically have any property, neither had Cassian until Rhys had given Nesta the House as a mating gift. Azriel didn’t technically have a home beyond the sky, nothing worth giving to or sharing with another person. Even now, Gwyn was waiting for him in a bedroom that technically wasn’t is. He wouldn’t dare leave though, not when he knew it was one of only two places that Gwyn felt safe in.

“Why are you getting so defensive? You know what I’m saying is reasonable.”

“It would be if we didn’t know her. She is… there are not words to describe her.”

“Yes, there is,” Nesta piqued. “She is competitive. She is feisty. She’s a Valkyrie. She is the kindest soul in Velaris. She is so brave, and strong, and the most selflessly loving person I’ve met in my entire life. If you weren’t so thick headed, you would see that she’s like Feyre in a lot of ways.” Nesta paused. She left Azriel’s side to stand in front of Rhys, her shoulders back and her head high. “If you accuse her of something it would break her heart. I won’t let you hurt her.”

“I would never hurt her, Nesta.” Rhys rubbed a hand over his face. “If you’re so convinced that nothing is going on, can you explain her strange behaviour.”

Nesta turned away from Rhys, so that he couldn’t see her face. When Nesta looked over at Azriel, she didn’t need to say a single word for him to know that she knew the exact reason Gwyn was acting different.

It was because of him.

“I don’t need to explain it because I trust her. I’m also with her nearly every minute of every day. Do you not think I would not notice if she was conniving against us? Or are you truly that foolish?”

“I agree with Nesta,” Cassian said. “She’s either with us training the Valkyries, or she’s working with Nesta in the library. Who cares if she’s a little distracted, we all are sometimes.”

“And you’re sure of this?” Rhys directed his question at Azriel, almost as if he couldn’t trust Cassian and Nesta to be impartial because of how close they were to Gwyn. Huh. If only he knew.

“I have never been surer of anything.”

***

“Azriel, wait.”

Azriel was stalking through the front gardens. He would walk until his head was clear, then he would go home – go to the House of Wind – and spend the morning with Gwyn. Nesta had other plans.

“What is it?”

“Gwyn-”

“-will be safe. I won’t let Rhys near her.”

“I’m not worried about that. What is going on between you two?”

“Nothing.”

“I’m not blind. All the things Rhys described? Sure, might be espionage, but it might also just be someone falling in love.”

“We’re not together.” Love? What a preposterous thought. Gwyn had been very clear from the beginning in what she wanted from him. She needed someone to fulfil her physical needs, and Azriel was happy to do so. All the other stuff, the talking and friendship, was just icing.

“Then what are you doing? Setting yourselves up to get hurt?”

“This is a conversation you should have with her.”

“She trusts you so much, Az. Please, don’t do anything that would hurt her. She’s come so far since we met.”

“Nesta, I promise you I couldn’t dream of hurting her. The thought alone makes me feel visceral pain. What we do, what we are, is just her making decisions and doing what she wants. How did you even know there was something going on?”

Nesta smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I guessed she had a flirtation with someone. I knew it was you from the way she started saying your name.”

Azriel felt his eyes burn, but he did not know why. “The way she says my name?”

“I’ve heard the way she says it a million times. From Cassian and I. From Rhys and Feyre. I can’t describe it beyond that.”

Azriel shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted where he stood. “Have you told Cas?”

“I don’t need to, he knows.”

“So you guys have talked about it?”

“No. I haven’t told him that I know. But I know he knows. And he also knows I know.”

“So he knows you know even though you haven’t told him you know and you know he knows even though he hasn’t said he knows?”

“Exactly,” she laughed. Her smile was more genuine now. It was a look she’d only had since her mating ceremony. It sung contentment, something she, like him, struggled to have.

She came to him and linked their arms, resting her head on his shoulder. Her friendship was invaluable to him, as much as it was a surprise when it first started to form.

“I have one other thing to say, and then I’ll let you go home to Gwyn.”

“Yes, Nesta?”

“The House of Wind is as much as your home as it is mine. You can stay there forever if you want. It is your home, Azriel, and I wouldn’t dream of it being anything else.”

***

Gwyn was awake when Azriel returned home. She was humming a song to herself in bed, wrapped in his blankets like it was a cocoon. She had the breakfast he made for her in her lap, and when he entered the room, she pulled the blanket aside and opened her arms for him to fall into to.

Maybe he still looked stormy after his talk with Rhys, or maybe she just wanted to hold him. Either way, he fell happily into her embrace.

***

Gwyn had set a date. She did not intend to be so clinical about it, she just wanted to give herself a chance to mentally prepare for what was about to happen, and she needed a few days to do so.

The month she’d had with Azriel had been… Cauldron, she did not know how to exactly describe it. When she had approached him, she honestly did not think that he would say yes to such a ridiculous idea. But he had, and he’d given her nothing short of the best month of her life. Her cheeks ached from how much she was smiling, and even if she was tired when she worked, she wouldn’t give up her restless nights for anything.

It would also be remiss for her to not acknowledge that perhaps what she had with him was more than an arranged bargain, but any time the thoughts propped up she promptly put them to the side.

She had not gone to see Az last night, needing the time to do extra work so that she could be missed for a day. Or two. Maybe even three.

Gwyn didn’t know how long this marathon might last, but if it were anything like Nesta and Cassian’s, it could be a while.

She had also warned Clotho and the females she shared her room with that she would be staying at the House of Wind for a few days. When asked why, she just said she was doing something with Emerie without going into any detail.

So, tonight it was. She was ready.

She was so fucking ready.

The moment dinner was served in the library she made a run for it, having to physically restrain herself from skipping out of the library. She was so excited, her body literally vibrating with energy, that she didn’t even see Nesta before their bodies slammed together.

They went to a ground in a tangled fumble, and Nesta was too busy laughing to listen to Gwyn’s repeated apologies. The brisk evening air greeted them, the stars starting to peek through the violet dusk as they laid on the path that took them from the library to the training area to the House.

“Well, you made looking for you much easier,” Nesta said, brushing off her dress as she stood. She offered Gwyn a hand, which she gladly took. Nesta started walking towards the House, their hands not dropping as they swung them between them like children.

“Why were you looking for me?”

“Emerie is here with Mor and Feyre. I wanted you to join us for dinner.”

“I have dinner with you every night.”

“I know, but I wanted you to know that you’re not just welcome but also invited.”

Gwyn smiled at Nesta, love for her friend filling her heart.

They approached the House, Nesta’s face falling as they walked in and saw Rhys standing in the middle of the room, confused looks on the faces of Mor and Emerie as everyone just looked uncomfortable.

Nesta’s hands squeezed Gwyn’s, and for just a second it felt like Nesta was about to pull Gwyn right back to the library.

“I’m not sure what the problem is,” Mor said slowly. “We go out in Velaris all the time, why can’t we tonight?”

“You’re more than welcome to, I would just rather stay here,” Azriel replied.

Gwyn knew the look on his face. It was the same look he’d had a few days ago when he’d returned from Mother knows where after Rhys summoned him. Gwyn assumed Azriel had just had to do one of the many hard tasks expected of a spymaster, but perhaps there was something else if his face was a mirror of that again now.

“What’s going on?” asked Nesta.

They all turned to look at them like they were surprised to see them. Not even Azriel had noticed their entrance, although Gwyn self-admitted that Azriel tended to be surprised by her sudden appearances quite often. She didn’t know for sure, but she thought maybe his shadows didn’t bother warning him when she was near. It’s not like she was a danger to the guy.

“Rhys came and said we should try the new restaurant on the Rainbow! The one near Feyre’s studio? I’ve heard really nice things about it, and the family that opened it are really beautiful.” Mor beamed at them all, trying to disperse the odd tension. “And then maybe we could go dancing.”

The idea sounded wonderful, and Gwyn wistfully wished she could join them. In reality, just the thought of going into the city set her heard racing. The only time she had ever left the library or the House, other than to go to Emerie’s house which landed them in the Bloodrite, was to officiate Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony. Although the memory was one of her most treasured ones, it was not something she thought she would be able to do again. Not yet.

“I’ve heard great things about that place,” Nesta replied, her stomach audibly grumbling at just hearing about the exquisite food it might receive.

“You are all more than welcome to go.” Azriel swept a hand out between them. “But I don’t want to.”

His gaze flickered to Gwyn, and suddenly the eyes of everyone were on her.

A blanket of understanding washed over the room. Most eyes were understanding, Mor’s held the pity that Gwyn hated, and Rhys looked indifferent, if not satisfied.

Azriel’s resistance became evident. It wasn’t just that it was the night, their night, but he didn’t want her to be left alone whilst everyone else galivanted through the city having the time of their lives when they knew she wouldn’t be able to join them.

“I don’t want to go either. It’s been a long week and I’m tired,” said Nesta.

Gwyn narrowed her eyes at her lying sister but couldn’t hold it in her heart to be angry. In face, she had to stop it from swelling with how loving their words felt. They didn’t want her to be alone. They wanted to stay with her.

“You know,” spoke Emerie softly, “I can’t imagine anywhere making food as well as the House.”

Mor’s eyes shot to Emerie, and Gwyn wondered if she was imagining the slight betrayed look in them.

“Guy’s, c’mon. Rhys and I made a reservation, they’re expecting us! It would be rude not to go,” Mor pleaded.

Azriel opened his mouth to snap back, but Gwyn interrupted. “She’s right. You should go enjoy yourselves.”

“But Gwyn-”

“It’s okay, Nesta. Please, I really think you should all go.” She made a point to look at Azriel. “It sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”

“It’s not fair to arrange activities that we can’t all participate in.” Azriel’s voice had softened as he looked at her, and if she didn’t have better self-control she would stride over and plant a kiss on his pouting lips.

“How could Mor have known that Gwyn would be here? It’s not her fault,” Rhys interjected.

“That’s the worst excuse I’ve ever heard-”

“Stop, just stop.” Gwyn clutched her hands in front of her and stepped away from Nesta. She needed them to see her as an adult, as someone who was strong and to be taken seriously. “It’s fine. Really, truly. I have a lot to do anyway.” She turned to Feyre and waved her fingers at Nyx. “If you would like, I can take care of him so you can enjoy some grown-up time.”

For a second Feyre looked hopeful, but then she schooled her face into neutrality. Rhys stepped between the two, and Feyre had to put an arm on his shoulder.

As if to stop him stepping any further.

Gywn blinked, feeling like she should blanch away but not sure as to why.

“That won’t be necessary,” Rhys said. She’d heard him use that voice before. It was his political voice. His I-have-an-agenda voice. Now it was her turn to look confused.

“No worries,” Gwyn whispered.

She looked away from the High Lord’s searing gaze and back to her friends. She hoped her face didn’t speak of her sadness.

“Please go. I would feel awful if any of you stayed on my part. If anything, by going and having a great time you’d be doing me a favour, because I wouldn’t feel guilty.”

“You could always just come with us,” Mor said, tucking her hair behind her ears in a way that was comically similar to how the ‘popular’ girls in her smutty books would behave.

Gwyn bit her lip, thinking about it. Of course, logically, she would be safe. They would all be there, Azriel would be there, but she genuinely felt like she might vomit at the thought. A bead of sweat dripped down her back, and she despised how her eyes stung with tears. She breathed the way her and Nesta had learnt from Valkyrie texts and pulled herself back to reality. Sometimes the logic of actions did not dictate how you would feel, or react, to a situation. Gwyn reminded herself once more to be kinder to herself.

“Thank you for the offer, Mor, but I am happy here.” Gwyn smiled brightly at them all, and they seemed to relax – all but Az and her sisters.

She shooed them out of the House, hoping that one day she would be able to join them.

***

It was odd. Gwyn had spent much time over the last few years alone, but it had never affected her. And although the House was quite good company – it had dinner and dessert ready for her with a box of tissues and chocolates even before Cassian had finally flown off with the resistant Nesta – it wasn’t the same as spending time with someone who could talk back to you.

She only just made it through her meal when she crawled into Azriel’s bed, hoping the scent of him would make her feel better.

It didn’t, but the sight of his room did. There were unlit candles lining the room, and flowers adorning every surface. The cheeky male had even installed a mirror on the ceiling above the bed, and she blushed profusely at the implications.

He had tried to make it romantic, and she adored him for it.

She had no idea when he would be back, and she scolded herself for wishing it would be sooner rather than later. She wanted him to be out and about with his family, even if it made her burn with envy that everyone would be able to enjoy him but her.

She rolled over, stuffing her face into his pillow and groaning. She should take off her day clothes and resign herself to pyjamas. Maybe she should sleep in a different bedroom so as to not torture herself with what this night could have been.

Her night with Az. The night with Az.

“That’s it. I am so over this,” she said aloud before springing up. She stomped out of the room and towards Nesta’s, flinging her closet open to inspect her clothes.

It was just a restaurant. It was safe. She would be fine. Besides, how could she overcome her fears if not to face them? She had gone to Emerie’s and survived. She had gone to Nesta’s mating ceremony and survived. She had won the bloody Bloodrite!

As she looked through the dresses, she quickly realised they wouldn’t fit. They would hang loose at her hips and chest, where Nesta was beautifully endowed and she was not.

“Not to worry, I’ll just take a coat then.” Taking the first one she saw, light but soft enough that warmth wouldn’t be an issue, Gwyn shoved her shoes on approached the door that led to the ten thousand steps that would take her to Velaris. She didn’t know where to go from there, but she knew in her heart of hearts that she would be able to find her friends with enough willpower. And since meeting Nesta and Emerie, since being empowered by the strongest females she knew and since empowering herself, she knew she had that willpower in abundance.

“Let’s fucking do this.”

***

She didn’t know at what point the House had left her, its omnipresence not connected to the stairs, but she was doing just fine even if she felt its absence. She counted in her head to keep track of where she was.

One thousand. Feeling good. Coat in arms.

Two thousand. Out of breath but in a good way.

Three thousand. Fucking shit.

Four thousand. Maybe she should turn around.

Five thousand.

Six thousand. How has Nesta done this multiple times?

Seven thousand. She had this! This was easier than Ramiel!

Eight thousand. If she died here no one would find her.

Nine thousand.

Ten. Fucking. Thousand.

Gwyn realised that there was no way she’d be able to eat with them. They would be having dessert if they hadn’t already moved on. She just needed to find them.

As Gwyn took the last step, her toes touched the streets of Velaris for the very first time.

It was so beautiful she thought she might cry. There was colour everywhere, the laughter of adults and children alike, and she could smell delicious food as the many restaurant’s wide-open doors let the scents pour into the streets. The faelights lining the streets reminded her of the stars she often gazed at with Azriel, the thought of him like a caress to her mind.

Azriel loved Velaris, would die for this city if he had to. How could she been afraid of something he loved so much?

She took one step. Then one more. She was sure to anyone that glanced her way she must have looked like a lunatic, her eyes wide in wonder as she moved at a snail’s pace, Nesta’s coat bundled in her arms because after all those steps she didn’t need it.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, equal parts fear and excitement, as she walked through the city. She got a few odd looks, but she could see it was out of curiosity for a newcomer in a city that had been locked down for centuries, and not for violence. She wasn’t leered at or bothered. In fact, the only time someone even talked to her was when a toddler sprinted from his mother’s side, his legs too quick for his body to keep up, and he fell into her.

The mother apologised profusely but Gwyn didn’t care at all. How could she be mad at the pudgy little baby?

It was easy to find her way to a district clearly dedicated to all things food. If possible, she slowed down even more. She peeked inside every restaurant looking for the four sets of wings that would set her friends apart from everyone else.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of searching but was probably closer to forty minutes, she saw them.

Azriel and Rhys were standing outside the restaurant Mor must’ve been talking about. Light and music drifted from its open windows, the streets still full of roaming people. Gwyn knew they wouldn’t be able to see her yet, and she wondered how she should approach them.

Azriel… did not look happy, and the tense set of Rhys’ shoulders and back let her know that his face likely looked the same, even if he was facing away from her.

Before she could think of a strategy, Azriel looked up, his eyes meeting hers.

Gwyn could not describe the feeling that filled her as they drunk in one another. Still standing twenty steps from him, his gaze made her feel like she was wrapped in his arms.

She raised one hand in a wave, and it was like Rhys didn’t exist at all.

Azriel shoved him to the side, Rhys making an indignant sound as he did. He ran to her, and she dropped Nesta’s coat so she could wrap her arms around him as they crashed together. People in the streets backed off at Azriel’s display, and in that moment she couldn’t have cared less about where she was, as long as she was with him.

His wings wrapped around her, creating a shield between them and the outside world.

“Gwyn.”

“Hey Az,” she whispered, her arms around his neck and his face tucked to her shoulder.

“What are you doing here? Is everything okay?” He straightened and brushed the hair from her face. It had stuck to her skin from how much she had sweat while taking the stairs, but she didn’t care how she looked. She knew he certainly never would.

He looked ready to fight an invisible threat, and it made her throb in unspeakable places.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just – I. Um.” She hadn’t rehearsed what she would say to him, but it’s not like she could blurt out Hey! Just wanted to near you at all times and rub my body against yours!

“Did something happen? What do you need me to do?”

She shook her head. “No, no, Az, really, I’m fine. I just regretted not coming out with you all.”

He must have been able to see the honesty on her face and smile, because he relaxed, his wings folding back.

The look on his face was adorable as the realisation dawned on him that she was here for him.

“Did I miss everything? Are you all done?”

He didn’t answer, but he did look behind him. Rhys was standing there with his mouth open, his face laced with something Gwyn couldn’t put a name to. Before she could greet him, Rhys stormed back into the restaurant.

Azriel turned back to her, and he didn’t hesitate when he lifted her chin and kissed her.

She gasped but reciprocated zealously. She pushed her body into his, and his arms went around her as he lifted her off her feet, cradling him to her as he kissed her like she was the wind that let him embrace the skies. He tasted like air, like gold, like this was his final breath and he was he was sharing it with just her.

***

Azriel sat with Gwyn while the rest of their friends danced. She hid it well, but he could tell that she was nervous being in this new environment.

She had been so good, so brave when she went into the restaurant and greeted Azriel’s family. Nesta and Emerie jumped up when they saw her, and Nesta held her tightly while Emerie rushed to get another chair. Nesta was trying to be subtle, but Azriel saw the happy tears she shed as she held Gwyn. Emerie then insisted that Gwyn sit and eat her strawberry and mango cheesecake with her, which earned an inexplicable scowl from Mor. Interesting.

Once Gwyn was satisfied and protesting the consumption of more food, they all walked together to one of the classier bars Nesta used to frequent so they could go dancing. Everyone was light as a feather, except Rhys, but life was hard as a fucking asshole, so Az wasn’t surprised he was feeling surly.

And now here they were. Azriel and Gwyn seated with the others dancing to their hearts content. Mor was spinning around with a giggling Nyx, Feyre and Rhys were swaying but it was obvious they were speaking to each other through their daemati bond, and Emerie and Nesta were terrorising Cassian in a three-way dance.

“How are you feeling?” Azriel asked, his shadows silent to her moods. If it had been anyone else, he would have known she was coming to the restaurant before she’d even left the House. But his shadows didn’t like to spy on her and revelled in him being surprised by her.

“I feel good.” Her gaze was focused on the dance floor, and Azriel glanced over to see what was so entrancing.

Nesta and Cassian were finally dancing alone, Emerie now with Nyx and Mor. The way Cassian and Nesta were grinding on each other was nothing short of pornographic as they moved into the shadows of the dance floor. Nesta’s back was to Cassian, his hands clasped on her hips as his lips were on her neck as she pushed her ass back against him.

Azriel snorted. They’d be fucking in an alley within the next fifteen minutes.

“Do you want to dance like that, Gwyneth?”

She turned to him, a lovely flush spreading from her face to her chest. “No,” she said unconvincingly. She slid her chair closer to his, the bar stool so high she had to hop onto it to sit. It was frightfully cute, and Azriel had to restrain from kissing her again.

He couldn’t help it in the street. The sight of her – rumpled, breathless, her face alight with joy – was too much for him.

She was beginning to be too much for him.

The longer he was with her, the more of her he was allowed to have, the more he feared he could never go back to just a simple friendship. This female would either be his salvation or his ruination, either of which he would happily accept if it meant he could savour every minute he had left with her.

Under the table, she linked their hands, and Azriel thought he might very well die from the touch.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to enjoy our plans.” He rubbed his thumb against her finger.

She smiled his way, her eyes crinkling at the sides. “It’s okay.” She looked down, biting her lip. “I went to your room. I saw what you had done.”

He swallowed hard. “Did you like it?”

She removed her hand from his and placed it on his thigh. “I loved it.”

He shifted in his seat, glad that the tablecloth was long enough so that anyone around, if they looked, would only see their ankles. “You’re playing with fire right now,” he chucked under his breath as she continued to stroke his thigh.

“I especially liked the mirror on the ceiling. May I ask, what purpose does it serve?” Her smile may have been all innocent, but the way her hand was moving was anything but.

She leant against him so they were touching shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip.

“It was for your pleasure.”

“Is that right?”

He brushed his lips to her ear, grateful that the dim lights of the bar kept them in the shadows and that the dancing bodies kept their scents hidden. And over the live music, no one would hear them. “Mhm. It was so that, no matter what position I put you in, you could watch me.”

She tipped her head back, humming in acknowledgement. Her hand, already in dangerous territory, swept down his increasingly hard length.

He grunted, laying both his hands on the table and fisting the cloth.

“Is this okay?” she asked, breathless.

He nodded, taking a swig of his drink to distract him.

She brushed her hand down again, bolder this time, and he squirmed in his chair.

“I would take it out, but I fear it would be seen over the table. So inside it stays,” she sighed. “It must be hard being so large.” She put her lips to his ear, mimicking what he had done to her. “I do love it though. The size, the taste, I think about it constantly.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he choked out. “But at least I’d die happy.”

Her hand slipped inside his pants, and he couldn’t help but thrust up into her hand. He tilted his head back in pleasure as she worked him, getting the angles just right as she pumped him. He was unbelievably aroused by the public act, barely able to believe that she’d do something so audacious. But Cauldron have mercy, he would do anything if it meant she was touching him. She could ask to ride him right now in the middle of this bar and he would blissfully indulge.

“I’m going to finish soon,” he warned her.

“I can’t wait for you to finish in me.”

Her words were his undoing, and he felt the edge of the table splinter under his grip as he contained his moan of pleasure.

He stared at her as she pulled her hand from him, offering him a serviette to clean himself like she hadn’t just given him a mind-blowing orgasm where anyone could have seen.

“Az?” she asked after a few, content minutes of silence.

“Yes, Gwyneth?”

“Do you think we could go dance?”

***

Gwyn couldn’t remember the last time she had been this relentlessly happy. Azriel flew her and Emerie back to the House of Wind, the latter looking forlorn as they finally left the bar in the small hours of the morning.

Rhys and Feyre had left much earlier, Nyx too small to stay up that late, and if Gwyn was being honest she was surprised they lasted as long as they did. Feyre seemed fine, but Rhys was in a shocking mood. Every time she asked Azriel about it, he just muttered about Rhys being a jerk without elaborating. She could tell that whatever it was, it was sensitive, so she didn’t push him.

Her and Nesta put a very intoxicated Emerie to bed, stripping her and putting her into some pyjamas before tucking her in nice and tight with some herbs on her nightstand that would help her head in the morning. Azriel and Cassian had already gone to their respective bedrooms, and Gwyn contemplated how she was going to sneak into Azriel’s room when Nesta stopped her.

“Can we talk for a second?”

“Of course.”

Nesta led her to the library, and they plopped themselves onto one of the plush couches. Gwyn faced her as she sat, tucking her feet under Nesta’s thighs to keep them warm.

Two hot chocolates appeared to them on a table, a dish of marshmallows to the side. They whispered their thanks to the House, claiming the warm drinks. Gwyn pressed hers up against her face, liking the warmth on her skin.

“What do you want to talk about?” Gwyn asked, taking a sip.

“Azriel. You. You and Azriel.” Nesta patted her shin, and Gwyn put her drink down. This wasn’t a hot chocolate kind of conversation.

“I don’t know what you’re talk-”

“Do you love him, Gwyn? Because if you did, or even if you don’t, you don’t have to sneak around Cassian and I and pretend nothing is happening. You can live here, forever if you want. All four of us in the House.”

“Nesta-”

“Imagine if we both had our families and babies here. It’s a big place, we wouldn’t get in each other’s way. And maybe Emerie could come too and she could fall in love too and we’d all be so happy. Okay, I’m rambling and that was weird. What I’m trying to say is – is that you can Azriel are so obviously together and I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out why you’re keeping it a secret from us, not that I care that you have secrets you’re an adult and you don’t have to tell me everything, and I’m so fucking happy for you, Gwyn, and I want you to know that you can be publicly happy, if you want.”

“Nesta…”

“I just love this. You and him. I’ve never seen Azriel so happy and you just smile all the time. And, oh, it reminds me of Cassian. In the way that I can see ourselves reflected in you two, and I wonder if maybe if I hadn’t been so,” she gestured at her head, “you know, then I could have just been this happy from the start of us, with him, like you two. So I need you to know that if you want that, if you want him, I am so incredibly supportive and I will do anything you want if it means you get your happily ever after. Okay, I’m done.”

“Nesta.”

“And I also would just love to know how this all began. Like the secret little smiles and observations that I’ve had for as long as I’ve known you just changed one day. And I know you guys used to train alone sometimes and I know you were always here with him, and me and Cas but I can’t pinpoint when your friendship turned into this.” She paused and took a deep breath. “Sorry, I really am done now.”

“Are you sure?” Gwyn pinched her cheek lovingly, and Nesta swatted it away.

“Yes.”

Gwyn took a second to think about her words, and as nice and idyllic as they sounded, Gwyn wasn’t sure they were the truth.

“Nesta, we aren’t together.”

“What?”

“We have a…” Gwyn struggled to find the words. “Deal? Agreement?”

“A sexy agreement?”

Gwyn laughed. “No. Well, yes actually.” She launched into the story of how her and Azriel had started their bargain, detailing how Azriel had agreed to help her overcome her fear, and how much they practised towards her ultimate goal of sex. Gwyn also expressed how their closeness was something she treasured, as spending so much time together naturally led to a deepening in their friendship. Her face stained pink as she told her of some of the things they had done, but how, after over a month together, that hadn’t actually sealed the deal.

Nesta was silent the entire story, letting Gwyn speak her truth. She was contemplative over Gwyn’s words, not saying anything until she was done speaking.

“Before I say anything, I want to let you know how incredibly proud of you I am, and how much I support wanting to explore yourself and your sexuality. No matter what I say, I need you to know that.”

Well, that wasn’t a good start.

“I understand, Nesta.”

“Gwyn, do you love him?”

Gwyn took a deep breath. It was a topic she often pushed from her mind, unable or not wanting to broach the subject. “I don’t know.”

“It’s a yes or no, Gwyn.”

Gwyn shrugged her shoulders. “What if it’s a ‘I’m not sure because I so thoroughly blurred the lines between what was real and what I asked him to do to help me?’ What if it’s a ‘I don’t know if I could say it to him but if he said it to me, I would say it back in an instant?’”

“Do you know how he feels about you? Has he said anything?”

Gwyn shook her head. “I know we’re friends. I know he cares about me. I know he would do anything I asked of him. I know he must love me, in some way, but I don’t know if it’s love-love or platonic love.”

“And he’s never given any sort of indication of his intentions?”

Gwyn pondered how thoughtful he was, how detail oriented he was to her pleasure and how he was the best part of her day. And as she thought about it, about him, who was so caring and lovable and agreeable, and she realised that a lot of what he did for her – the comfort, the talking, the support – he would do for anyone.

“I’ve never asked.” Her breath shuddered, and Nesta put a hand to her cheek.

“Maybe you should.”

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way as I do? What if I’m just an obligation?”

“Oh, my love.” Nesta repositioned them so that Gwyn was lying down, her head in Nesta’s lap, as Nesta lovingly stroked her hair. It reminded Gwyn so much of what Catrin used to do that she couldn’t help the tears that started to shed.

“It’s better to know what you are to him. If it’s any consolation, I think he cares about you a great deal. Maybe even loves you. It’s hard to tell when he’s naturally so cold.”

He wasn’t cold, she wanted to say, he was the warmest person she knew. Instead, she cried, and she let Nesta comfort her like she always did.

***

A few days passed, and although Gwyn never left the House, her sexual relations with Az didn’t progress. Rather, they stopped altogether. He didn’t mind at all, he was just glad for her company. They talked and trained, and Azriel was surprised that somehow he could be even more impressed of her than before.

She also started doing what he called her ‘casual kisses.’

They would be doing something monotonous, like sorting weapons for training the next day, and she could kiss him as she walked by him. Or they would be sitting in bed reading, and she would lean over and brush her lips to his temple.

It became a game, who could casually kiss the other first if the opportunity arose, and it was the best game Az had ever played.

He felt himself looking forward to the nights even if the only touching they did was cuddling until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. Azriel wondered if this is what home felt like.

It was late, and Gwyn decided that she needed to return to the library before people started to question where she was. Az didn’t have the heart to tell her they already were.

“I had the most interesting conversation with Nesta the other day,” she said as they reached the door that would take her away.

“What about?”

Gwyn fiddled with her fingers, trepidation oozing from her.

“Are you okay?” he asked, worry starting to maw at him.

“I’m fine.” She turned to face him, and he took the opportunity to kiss her on her hairline. He loved the height different between them, it made him feel bigger than he was. “Nesta asked me about us. She has suspected for a while.”

He schooled his face into neutrality. As far as Gwyn knew, this was new information to him.

He hadn’t told her a word of what had happened between them and Rhys, and it would stay that way. All it would do was hurt her, and Azriel was serious when he said no harm would ever come her way from him. She did not need to know that Rhys was acting like a tool.

In more ways than one. Azriel didn’t need to read minds to know that Rhys was highly suspicious of them both. And more so, as much as it pained him to admit, how much Rhys disapproved. He wasn’t sure why, and he couldn’t bear to ask, but he had a good idea. Rhys, as much as he loved Az, must know that he would never be good enough for Gwyn. The idea had plagued him for days, and the only thing that drove away the dark thoughts were the casual kisses Gwyn would bestow upon him.

“How do you feel about that?” he asked her, snapping back to their conversation.

She shrugged. “At first I was worried, but now I’m actually kind of relieved.”

“Why were you worried?”

“You know, it’s weird. I had it in my head that if people knew I was on this mission to achieve some ultimate, empowering orgasm that they might judge me. But Nesta never would, and I felt like an idiot as soon as she looked at me and told me she knew we were,” she gestured between them, “touching.”

Az snickered. “Touching is one way to sum it up.”

“She asked me something I couldn’t answer.”

“What was that?”

“She asked me what we are.” She brushed her hands over his chest absentmindedly. “What I am to you.”

He clasped her hands and held them to his heart, trying to make her look at him when she was purposefully focusing on the floor.

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her the truth. That I don’t know what I am to you.”

“Gwyn…”

“I need to say something, and I beg you not to interrupt until I’m done.” She sniffled, and he hated the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.

She took a deep breath and wiped her tears away, facing him with steel. “I genuinely approached you with nothing but friendship in mind. I had a plan, to sleep with you once and then go back to how we always were before – me, as your overly competitive but absolute best student, and you as, as this God of a man that I could not believe even walked the same existence as me, let alone be someone I considered a friend. You were my ribbon Az. The thing I wanted to be as good as. And then you said yes to me. I didn’t expect you to. I half-thought you would laugh because you thought I was joking. But you didn’t, and you said yes, and I have made the grave mistake of developing feelings I swore to myself I wouldn’t.”

He opened his mouth to say something, but she put a hand over his mouth before he could.

“I had every intention of having sex with you until Nesta asked me what I was to you. And then I realised that if all I was to you was a proposition to uphold, I couldn’t do it. I can’t be with you just once. I can’t be just friends if we take that last step. So, Az, I’m asking you, and please don’t feel obligated to say anything you don’t feel, but what am I to you?”

He couldn’t breathe. His chest felt like his ribs were being ripped apart and then shoved back together until his lungs were caged too tightly. He knew what he wanted to say, that of course she was more than that, she was everything, but then he thought of her spirit being crushed by his inadequacies, and how she could do so much better now that she was ready to. She was pure, she was light, and she deserved more than his darkness.

He had been quiet too long.

Watching her was like watching a porcelain doll shatter after being dropped. Her face crumbled, and she pulled her hands away from him as she tried to contain herself.

“You’re my best friend.” He finally said, his own tears stinging at his eyes. “I can’t lose you.” Which he would, if she stayed with him and realised how truly broken he was.

A sob fractured her chest, and Az hated the way her voice sounded when she spoke. “You’re my best friend, too.”

And then they were kissing. It tasted like salt from their tears and was more passionate and heart-wrenching than any of the kisses they’d had before. They were drowning, their only hope at salvation one another as they clung to each other with all the strength they had.

Azriel didn’t want to let her go. He knew once he did that it would be over. His month of bliss, of final contentment, would be over. Part of him wished Nesta had never opened her mouth, or that he’d been able to tell the truth, but all of him wished that he was someone else, or that he was more like his brothers, so that he was good enough for her.

When they finally stopped kissing, it was not so she could leave. They still clung to each other, breathing in each other’s scents, well into the night.

When she whispered goodbye, part of his soul left with her as she walked away.

He lied to her by staying silent. He should have told her the truth, that what he was feeling went deeper than affection, maybe even deeper than love. But this lie protected her, and he would take it to his grave.

#acosf #fanfic #gwynriel #azriel #nessian #feysand #acotar #acomaf #acofas #acowar #sjm #sarahjmaas #tog #koa #emorie #mor x emerie

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suspicious-whumping-egg · 2 years

Text

Alec and Raina part 9

Sad boi pasta hours has finally come!! Tws for food, intimate/possessive whumper, abuse, and forced/faked relationship.

Masterlist here.

Alec was awoken by the sharp prick of a needle in his neck. Raina stood over him where he laid on the couch, gently combing her fingers through his hair. “Good afternoon, love,” she murmured. “That was the antidote to what I gave you earlier, you should be alright in a few minutes.”

He nodded, his eyes squeezed shut. The burns on his body and face still throbbed, he didn’t want to face Raina so soon after having been hurt. Yet he had no choice.

“Look at me, darling,” she commanded. Alec’s eyes snapped open automatically as he nervously met her gaze. Raina nodded her approval at his instant compliance. It was a pleasant surprise how quickly Alec had learned to obey her. “Do you feel up to making dinner today? I’ll take off your collar,” she goaded sweetly.

Alec shrugged. He was exhausted, his body battered and his wounds aching, but he nodded. The collar felt too tight for him to breathe, and cooking would at least be something familiar. Something Raina couldn’t ruin for him.

Raina reached behind him to unbuckle his collar, pressing a kiss to the top of his head while she was at it. “Thank you, love,” she said, as if Alec was a friend choosing to do her a favor rather than someone she had kidnapped and tortured. “I put most of the groceries away but left out everything you specifically asked for, so don’t worry about not being able to find any of that. I’ll be back with your crutches in a bit.”

Alec let out a soft sigh of relief hearing that he’d get his crutches back, curling up on the couch and burying his face in his hands once Raina was gone. He needed to rest, he needed a break. But he was just glad to be able to breathe without the constriction of leather around his throat.

Raina practically shoved his crutches at him when she returned, carelessly dumping the aids into his arms. “There are gloves in the bottom left cabinet, wear them in case anything reopens on your hands,” she instructed. She’d already removed anything from the kitchen that could be used as a weapon, so this would be a nice break for Raina to get some work done and for Alec to be alone and occupied.

Not to mention that Raina had been recently messaged by Dorian. How he’d managed to find her, she had no idea, but she was certain she could either negate whatever threat he posed or lure him into a trap of sorts. His love and loyalty for Alec was adorably blind and easily exploitable, she’d just have to keep up a decent act. He was clearly worried about Alec, she would just have to assure him that there was nothing to be concerned about. And if it didn’t work, she’d get a new plaything to hurt.

Alec limped off to the kitchen when it was evident that Raina had no other demands, pulling on a pair of disposable gloves before starting with the pasta. He opened and closed cabinets for what felt like hours before he found a strainer and measuring cups, spent just as long searching for the flour, and then sifted 2 cups of it with the same amount of semolina flour. The flour went straight onto the counter, he used his hands to form a well in the center of the pile. For a moment, he was back in Dorian’s apartment, making pasta for his boyfriend to surprise him after he got home from work.

But Raina’s voice cut through the silence, forcing Alec back to reality. “I’m gonna be heading outside for a moment, do you need anything?” she asked. She sounded almost loving, and Alec wanted to rip her throat out. This was the same person who’d branded him, the same person who’d stabbed him with a nail. How can she even act like any of this is okay?

But in spite of himself, he nodded. “Uh, can you get the eggs and some olive oil and a rolling pin?” He asked sheepishly. His broken leg sent sharp stabs of pain up his body every time he took a step, he didn’t want to walk any more than he had to.

Raina nodded, plucking the carton from the fridge and setting it in front of Alec before pulling a rolling pin out of a nearby drawer. “Of course, love.” She disappeared into the shockingly huge pantry for a moment and then set a bottle of olive oil next to the eggs, giving him a gentle smile. She’d make him see that she could be kind when he obeyed, one way or another. “I’ll be right back, okay? The house will be locked from the outside and inside so don’t think about trying to get out.”

“Right.” It was as if his captor couldn’t go a minute without reminding him he was trapped.

Alec waited until Raina was gone to continue, determined not to let her ruin this for him. He cracked a half dozen eggs into the flour well and added a splash of oil on top before whisking them together with a fork and slowly dragging bits of flour into the mixture. The process was surprisingly soothing, it allowed him to clear his mind and focus on the one thing he knew he was good at, and he began kneading the dough once he’d mixed in as much flour as possible. The movements stretched the burns on his hands, sending shocks of pain up his arms, but he didn’t stop. He didn’t want the collar back on, and he needed some kind of constant in his life. If he proved he could do a good job, Raina might let him cook more often. It would be his solace in the midst of the pain, his anchor. He needed the chance to prove he deserved it.

He worked the dough for a slow, painful ten minutes, glancing constantly at the clock on Raina’s oven. His healing stab wound hadn’t split open yet, although it felt like it had. Either way, he was glad for the gloves, just in case something did happen. He didn’t want to start over just because he was too damaged to even cook correctly.

He rolled the dough until it was flat and then cut it into strips which he shaped into logs. Usually, he’d use a knife to cut pieces off the little logs, but he pinched them off instead— he knew Raina wouldn’t trust him with a knife. He pressed his thumb into each piece to make domed shapes, setting them in a little pile when they were completed.

It felt like hours before the ball of dough had completely been converted into pieces of orecchiette. He leaned heavily on his crutches, wanting nothing more than to collapse to the floor and take a break. Instead, he limped to the stove and started boiling a pot of water. He was far from done.

Just as he’d added the pasta to the boiling water and started a timer, Raina returned. “I hope you’re making enough for three, love,” she said casually. “Dorian is joining us tonight.”

Alec froze, glancing up at her like a deer in headlights. “J-just for dinner, uh, right?” He couldn’t hide the terrified tremble in his voice. He didn’t want Dorian to see him this weakened, this helpless. He didn’t want Dorian to get hurt too.

Raina shrugged. “It depends on how much I like him. He’s already so adorably worried for you, he’d get suspicious if I didn’t have him over, so it also depends on how well you disprove his concerns. If you keep up a good act and I decide he’s not worthwhile enough to take, he’ll go home and nothing will come out of it. Except the fact that he’ll be assured you’re alright and hopefully will stop bothering us. Of course, I might just decide to keep him, and if you tell him anything’s up then I definitely will. It’s all up to you, darling. Be on your best behavior tonight.”

Alec nodded, barely able to process the load of information. He swallowed the terrified cry rising in his throat, clenching his hands into fists so she couldn’t see how he trembled. “I understand.”

~~~~

Nearly an hour later, the meal was finally done. The pasta was partitioned onto three plates and topped with a creamy lemon sauce, sautéed chickpeas, and bits of basil. Alec felt as if he might topple over any moment. Instead, he just limped off to look for Raina. Her house was so monstrously big that he might take weeks to find the dining room on his own.

“Raina? He checked the parlor first, a cozy room with too many plush chairs and fancy little tables. It was hardly ever used, but he heard voices coming from it, maybe she was still on the phone…

“I uh—” he stopped dead when he saw Dorian sitting across from her, his eyes widening. “I—” Raina gave him a pointed glance. Don’t fuck this up, her gaze clearly read.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly, giving a little two-fingered wave from the handle of his left crutch. “Dinner is ready, but I didn’t know where we were gonna eat so I left everything in the kitchen. I’m, uh, I’m going to change. I’m covered in flour and all that…”

He was gone before he could hear Dorian’s response, his eyes filling with tears as he stumbled up the stairs, his leg shooting with agony. He collapsed onto his bed when he made it to his room, giving himself a moment to unleash his despair. He cried into the mountain of pillows on his bed, until his head ached and he gasped for breath between sobs.

He heard footsteps approaching and fumbled for his crutches, forcing himself upright and flinging open the wardrobe door. His face was streaked with tears, but at least he wasn’t still crying.

“Alec, love? Everything alright?” Raina called into his room. Her words were clearly an act for Dorian, she would never be this kind to him otherwise.

Alec nodded weakly. “Yeah, I just, uh, need help deciding what to wear,” he mumbled.

Raina strode into the room, taking in his red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “He’s waiting on us downstairs, darling, you’d better compose yourself,” she said almost tauntingly as she set the new velvet pants and a lacy white shirt on the bed. “Wash your face before you come back down, but hurry,” she ordered before she disappeared from the room.

The shirt was beautiful, with a delicate bodice and sheer lacy sleeves that clung to his arms and draped over his hands to cover the scars, and Alec had to admit that he liked the pants. If nothing else was to go rightly this night, he would at least be dressed nicely to watch it all go down.

He stumbled to the en suite bathroom, ran his fingers through his hair, and splashed water on his face before limping out of the room and heading down the stairs. “Sorry about that!” he called out, trying to sound like a graceful boyfriend rather than a terrified captive. He found Raina and Dorian in the dining room, the table already set with food and utensils.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” he choked out with a forced grin as he slid into the seat across from Dorian. “I’m trying to rearrange my style and all that, Raina’s been helping me,” he explained. “How’s everything going for you? Sorry I never reached out, I, uh, I shattered my phone and haven’t gotten a new one yet.”

Dorian returned the shaky smile, eating a forkful of pasta with an approving nod. “Damn, darl— Alec, that’s really good,” he complimented. “As always, of course. And I’m sorry about your phone, that sucks.”

The terrified man from the grocery store was gone, replaced by someone beautiful— and most definitely not Alec. His words still rang clear in Dorian’s mind. Love, I’m in an abusive relationship. Raina seemed perfect, with her effortless beauty and elegance. But Alec had sounded so desperate, so broken… he couldn’t help but wonder if Raina had actually destroyed his phone. If Raina dictated how he dressed, how he acted. Alec had never been comfortable in the kinds of clothing Dorian had seen him wearing, especially not in public. And a collar? He’d looked lovely, but he knew Alec wasn’t into them, so Dorian had never forced him to wear one. If Raina didn’t even care about consent for those kinds of things, what other horrors had she done to him?

He didn’t even want to know, but he slid his phone from his pocket and discreetly typed 911 into the keypad under the table. He’d just have to hit enter if things got heated too fast.

~~~~

Hours later, Alec felt like he was barely holding on by a thread. The conversation between the three was awkward at best, and it felt like his broken bone had been replaced with pieces of molten lead. He hadn’t meant a word he’d said the entire night, and Raina had stayed too close to him for comfort. He was forced to cuddle up close to her, as if they were lovers. Her arm was constantly around his shoulders, she stroked his hair whenever he began to tense up— although the unwanted touches only served to make him more nervous.

Nonetheless, he made it through the evening. Dorian thankfully didn’t ask about his crutches, so Alec didn’t have to make a story about how his leg had been broken. He made himself quiet and polite, allowed Raina to fill the silence, and just hoped his performance was good enough for Dorian to go free.

In a way, some twisted part of him hoped the act might not be good enough. He wanted to have a real conversation without lies or fear so badly that it ached. He wanted to be alone with his lover, he wanted company that wasn’t his torturer— and he knew that would only happen if Dorian was forced to stay. He wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on anyone, let alone his lover, but it still felt like a slap in the face to watch him go.

Alec clenched his fists tight, nails digging into his palms, as Raina opened the door for Dorian to leave. He wanted to follow him out, to make a run for it that would surely end up with him on the floor in agony. He just wanted to try. But if that was the one mistake that got Dorian captured, he couldn’t risk it. Instead, he threw his arms around his lover, stifling a sob, and held him in a tight embrace.

Dorian returned the hug, surprised at its fierceness. Alec had been cuddling up with Raina the whole night, as if he’d never even loved Dorian, yet the embrace had such desperation. He reached into his pocket and felt for his phone, once again wondering if he should call for help. But Alec would surely be forced to keep up the lie if Dorian did try to help them. He didn’t know what kind of blackmail Raina was holding over him, nor did he want to know. But the least he could do was stay on polite terms with Raina and be allowed to visit enough that he’d know Alec was alright.

Raina took Alec by the shoulder and pulled him away from his boyfriend, her grip vicelike and relentless. “It was nice having you over,” she said to Dorian, giving a sweet smile before shutting the door almost abruptly. She had a taser concealed in her jacket, in case Alec managed to get out of the house, but using it would definitely ruin the facade. While exploiting the bond between the two was a tantalizing notion, another captive would be such a hassle, and she wanted Alec all to herself.

As soon as Raina had bolted the door, Alec dissolved into tears.

He let Raina take his aching, throbbing body into her arms; despite wanting nothing more than to thrash in her grip until he was left alone. Instead, he buried his face into her neck and cried harder. His breaths came in short, ragged gasps as he gulped in air through his tears. Raina sat down and let him curl close to her, pleased at his clinginess. Even as she was the one hurting him, she was the one he would go to for solace. “Let it out, darling,” she murmured, rubbing gentle circles into his back. I want to hear every sound I can get out of you. His anguish was a symphony, a delicate balance of the fragility and despair and terror that Raina loved so much.

And since he was given no privacy and no choice, Alec could at least allow himself to be comforted. He wrapped his arms around Raina’s neck and let her hold him as he shattered into a million pieces.

Tagging: @warm-my-whumpee-heart @hopepetal @painsandconfusion

Bonus: My own sad boi pasta can be found here!!

#blue writes #alec and raina #alec is a twink #raina is a girlboss #whump #intimate whumper #possessive whumper #whump writing #forced relationship

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