#not without its problems. i really dont like its depiction of mental health

[bixels]

Now that Ghibli's new movie is coming out soon, I've been thinking about anime films and wanna talk about my favorite animated movie ever, Tokyo Godfathers.

TG is a 2003 tragicomedy by Satoshi Kon, following three unhoused people––an alcoholic, a runaway girl, an a trans woman––who find a baby in a dumpster and set off across Tokyo to reunite her with her parents.

If you like the sound of that, go watch it because the rest of this post is spoilers and I have FEELINGS about this movie.

URGHH, the fact that only two moments of true kindness, generosity, and care given to the three protagonists without any expectation of reciprocity are given by a Latin-American immigrant couple and a drag show club full of trans women. The fact that, despite her loud and dramatic personality, Hana is the glue that holds the team together and the heart of the whole movie. The fact that this movie pulls no punches at showing the violence and inhumanity committed by "civilized Japanese society" against the unhoused. The fact that Miyuki craves to be loved by her parents and ends up seeing Hana as her true mother. The fact that Miyuki starts off accidentally using transphobic language against Hana, but slowly begins calling her "Miss Hana" out of respect. The fact that, according to Kon, Hana's role in the story is as a mythological trickster god and "disturb the morality and order of society, but also play a role in revitalizing culture." The fact that Hana so desperately wants to be part of a true family, yet is willing to sacrifice her found family so they can be with their own, and is rewarded for her good deeds in the end by becoming a godmother. The fact that, throughout the movie, wind and light have been used to signify the presence of god's hand/influence (this movie's about nondenominational faith––faith in yourself, faith in others, faith in a higher power. Lots of religious are referenced, such as Buddhism/Hinduism, Christianity, and Shintoism), and in the climax of the film, as Hana jumps off a building to save a baby that isn't hers, a gust of wind and a shower of light save her from death. The fact that god saves a trans woman's life because she proved herself a mother, and that shit makes me CRY.

#ramblings #long post #not art #personal #it's the ultimate found family movie #not without its problems. i really dont like its depiction of mental health #for a movie that does an otherwise great job spotlighting the unhoused crisis in japan and its society's oppressive distain towards women #and queer people. it really drops the ball on depicting one of the biggest contributors to the crisis #but otherwise this movie is so fucking full of love and kindness and second chances and how fucking good queer folks and poc are #it blows my mind that this film came out in 2003 and the main protagonist is a trans woman who's just the fucking best #the recent gkids dub is REALLY good by the way! they got shakina nayfack; a trans va; to voice Hana! #the dub made great strides to undo a lot of the original misgendering and mistranslations #also its a christmas movie #also the ost was done by the band that did earthbound's ost

[pinkandpurple360]

[leaked storyboard spoilers from last year]

bro i havent seen any leaks other than the ghostf*ckers millie and the sinsmas octavia tantrum one. iirc nothing has been leaked for blitzfizz although fizz and robo fizz are both confirmed to return for season three. we know alex brightman recording at least twice for season 3 (one of them being a session with james iglehart so we’re prob getting more fizzarozzie) and the only audio released was in his solo session using his fizz voice to loud yell “fuck.”

honestly based on the way brandon and viv talk it sounds like the remainder of fizz’s story (at least in helluva) is going to be him and ozzie facing the aftermath of mammon (but it’s unclear what that entails), and something involving the robo fizzes that may or may not be tied into that (evil robo fizzes fnaf style? or some clone wars individuality arc?). there hasnt been anything said on how/if blitz fits into this, but my guess is he’d be less directly interacting with fizz and more watching him (the problem that comes with blitz being the stephen universe protag who needs to be the main in every episode even if he dors nothing for its plot)

this sounds bleak but considering how brandon said blitz is done reconciling with fizz and they’re amicably parting ways while still supporting each other, i honestly dont think there’s much left for blitzfizz. other than those eps where fizz is a guest star i think the remainder of helluva will be the Stolas Show with fizz being segregated to the Fozzie show.

Are you sure Octavias sing isn’t mastermind? That’s make more sense. And anon it’s hardly a tantrum but a mental breakdown….

That is all really sad and tragic news. I’ll never recover. Lol. Honestly…ships aside, I haven’t seen anything that’s making me want to keep watching. IMP aren’t a thing anymore. My favourite characters get hurt (Via, Blitz, Millie) over and over for angst bait, there’s zero over arching plot left. Any development is just angst and very bad depictions of mental health. Or some amatonormative nonsense…IMP has abandoned their premise for good. Honestly? If something isn’t changing soon.

Shows dead.

Is that what Brandon said? Because that doesn’t seem to be the case with all the plot setup in Oops. Who separated them, was Fizz setup to be with Mammon and even Ozzie? Does fizz have parents? They haven’t unpacked really…anything? And fizz doesn’t forgive him, yet, he just said he’ll tolerate him. Blitz played an important part to the continuity of the episode but he wasn’t allowed to do anything but parrot Asmodeus, and I feel like Oz was just kindve shoved in at the end as a romantic saviour.

Viv threw away such a great character, with so much in depth story, who could have connections and dynamics with pretty much all the main cast…just for stolas to cry some more. And we all know he’ll get what he wants. At the cost of the premise, and a good story.

I don’t know how blitz and fizz could possibly be finished. It seems cruel to pull him away from Fizz and force him with stolas instead because of someone else’s machinations. Idk where Barbie is. I’m almost more interested in Barb talking to Fizz than I am Blitz. I also have no idea what’s left for the stolas show, his contributions are mute, and his dynamics with the characters are mute.

Fizz just angrily screams a curse word. ok.

What do we think the robot fizz is about?

Also anon I disagree really hard, about the Steven thing. With Steven, he hogged screen time away from stories about Pearl garnet, amethyst etc, and they are also main character. Sad as it feels to admit, and all of his potential to the themes of helluva boss. Fizz isn’t a main character, without Blitz or at least one of the main characters there, Fizz has absolutely nothing to do with the main story. At all. His ship even less so.

Idgaf about fizzozzie (in canon) anymore either they’re just… so emptily written. The only interesting thing left is a breakup. Not a wedding. It feels like Fizz ditched imps to upgrade himself to royals and hellborn and now he’s a “royal imp” implicitly treated as superior to other imps, because of talent. They don’t have enough going on for a separate show, Fizz is fine where he is. When he’s away from Asmodeus he shines as a character. With him…he’s just empty.

I cant keep lying to myself. Within this overarching story—They bore me, they add nothing to it, unless the worst thing possible is true and they’re just stolitz fuel…which makes no sense…the two relationships have zero in opposite nor the same.

I think that’s why people preferred Oops to Mammons special…the latter is filler and nothing more. The protagonist wasn’t in it enough, and in Oops they introduced a brand new and interesting relationship, and potential to start a love triangle plot, hell even a love square or polyamory, but….it just doesn’t. They stick to the status quo. Very disappointing.

Lastly no offence but I hope the speculations don’t turn out to be true….I hate them ^^;

#helluva boss spoilers

[foulserpent]

what's your opinion on using words like pscyhotic, delusional, etc as insults?

is this like a hot topique right now i think ive seen a couple people posting on this

yeah with this and most ableist language, these phrases are integrated into the common vernacular in such a way that its usually not a hill worth dying on. people using these words isnt really the problem, its when these words are leveraged in certain ways that it starts to be the problem.

like the only ones i think its worth telling people to avoid are “psychopath” and “sociopath” since these terms have a deeply rooted criminalized element and like most ways you can use those words will carry those implications. also probably psychotic since that word is one and the same with the word for the mental illness and it would be nice to say ‘im psychotic’ without sounding like the ‘cute but psycho’ merchandise demographic. 

but with the rest its just like, you should consider how you use them. like seeing someone who is wildly out of touch with reality in a mundane way and going “this guy is fucking delusional” or “this guy is fucking insane” isnt Really hurting anyone, youre using common lingo for someone being at odds with the realities of life in a way that many people are regardless of mental health. while leveraging these words to attempt to depict someone AS mentally ill and therefore someone who cant be trusted or is lesser (ie “hes delusional dont listen to him”) is sketchy. being called stupid as a passing insult really carries no more weight then that, while being called stupid as a categorization and as an expectation of how people should treat you is dehumanizing. 

so the overall message is just think about how and when and why you want to use these words and who you want to use them against. most of the time its a nonissue, some of the time its not, all of the time you should be prioritizing like actual systemic violence and abuse of people with psychosis and personality disorders etc . in a world where people dont say words like “psycho” “insane” watever we’ll still be institutionalized and abused

#though you should be respecting peoples boundaries if theyre uncomfortable with any of this #also pretty much anything specific to autism should like. dont do that #like theres no normalized vernacular context for 'sperg' 'autist' what have ye #anon

[scripttorture]

hello. whats a way i can convey that something is a flashback without directly saying its a flashback? my oc has frequent flashbacks related to the story and i dont know how to convey it other than "this is his flashback"

Repetition.

 Let me give you a short example.

 One of the character’s I’m writing witnessed an attack and was left traumatised. During the attack one of the attackers approached him, talked to him. The attacker smelt of beer and he told the character that he was a ‘good boy’ for being out working so late and that he should keep walking, keep out of trouble.

 For him flashbacks look like the way he flinches when his father-figure praises him. The way he shakes when he serves beer. It’s the thoughts and experiences he returns to over and over again during his story and the way he returns to them in particular circumstances.

 Now, you can just say it’s a flashback. Or have the character say it’s a flashback. There’s nothing wrong with that.

 But if you don’t want to outright say that- Then I think the aim is to capture the experience in a way that’s understandable for as many people as possible.

 You won’t get understanding from everyone. And not everyone who understands the experience you’re presenting will recognise it as a flashback without the label.

 I’ve seen people use that to argue that writers should always use a diagnostic label for mental health conditions they’re writing. But I’m not sure I agree. I think that it depends on who you want to reach. Who your ideal audience is.

 Diana Wynne Jones wrote eloquently about child abuse and neglect and didn’t refer to it as such in any of her books. And I think that strategy meant that she could depict things children experienced in a way that adults found palatable enough to publish.

 If you’ve had the problems an author is depicting and the author does a good job of depicting them- then I believe that most people will recognise the experience.

 I’ve found that in at least some of my stories I don’t attach a diagnosis to what I’m depicting, even though I know what the diagnosis is. Because communicating the experience is what I want to focus on. Because the character doesn’t know or recognise their diagnosis.

 Because sometimes the label provokes a strange, knee-jerk reaction. A ‘no that’s not right I can’t be experiencing mental health problems!’ Which- is sad in the sense that it’s sad we live in a society that produces that response. And it means that sometimes people do respond more to the experience presented then the experience labelled.

 I use diagnostic labels much less when the story is aimed at a younger audience. Or when the audience I’m writing for have a mental illness.

 That’s something we don’t really talk about or think about often enough isn’t it? Who we’re writing for. It’s easier to hide our assumptions that way.

 Going without a label isn’t always the right decision. Being ambiguous means risking being misread.

 But- I also believe that it can help. It can help people who don’t have a mental illness understand what it feels like. It can help people who have a mental illness accept that what they’re going through is real, is difficult. It can help people accept they deserve help and support. Just like that character they like.

 Of course this only works if you successfully capture the lived experience.

 Which is difficult if you’ve lived it and harder still if you haven’t.

 Repetition is part of the answer but it’s the easy part. Repeating it establishes it as a permanent problem. It shows the triggers. It shows a sort of shadowy outline of the trauma itself...

 But the harder part is hammering home the way it feels.

 Not just having your audience understand that this character responds badly to being called a ‘good boy’. But making them wince when they see those words. Making their guts twist up and their hands shake a little on the page.

 Getting that bit right takes time and practice. It often takes multiple attempts. Feedback helps, and I’d recommend if you’re going this route that you find a writing group or beta readers.

 I’d also recommend at the very least reading what people who experience flashbacks say about them. If you can talk to someone who has flashbacks about their experience.

 As a starting point I like to pick out elements to stress in a flashback. Things that, for whatever reason, stick in the character’s mind.

 I try to stress things that aren’t directly related to the trauma itself. Like the smell of beer. I do that partly because it’s something I see survivors talking about, odd little elements that stood out for them. I also do it because I feel like it ties the symptoms more firmly to the character and their individual experience.

 I also find it helpful to focus on the feelings the flashback brings up in the character.

 If your writing style doesn’t make your character’s thoughts explicit you can still communicate these feelings, triggers and ideas. Through body language, the social cues in the character’s culture or just verbal expression.

 A character can talk about having a flashback without having the knowledge or vocabulary to express it as ‘it was a flashback’.

 ‘Oh God I just felt like I was right back there-’

‘I just can’t stop thinking about it- I was just sitting here and then-’

‘My chest hurts- I can’t breathe- I can’t breathe-’

 It’s communicating extreme distress, essentially. The feeling of panic perhaps, throat tightening punch-in-the-chest-pain panic. Or helplessness, trembling, mind so blank it’s like staring into an ocean chasm, frozen in place. The expectation of hurt so strong that they don’t really register it hasn’t happened this time.

 I think I’d wrap this up with a little bit of general writing advice: don’t assume that ‘show don’t tell’ is automatically the best choice for your story.

 It’s a strategy that assumes the readers have the same background as the characters in the story. Across cultures, across experiences ‘show don’t tell’ often breaks down, especially if it’s taken to extremes.

 What I’d suggest instead is to think about when to show and when to tell. Think about why it’s the right thing to do at particular narrative points, what it adds, what it builds.

 I hope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#writing advice #tw torture #writing victims #memory #memory problems #flashbacks #effects of torture

[obsessed-fanatic]

I'm just a Dude!!!!!!!!

A fan. Who grew up with so much fun stuff. A kid who woke up at 6:00am every saturday morning to watch SONIC X.

Played Sonic adventure DX Director's Cut on an old gamecube.

I, at the time, had no intent of evil or anything crap or childish. Just watching cartoons, on my ANTENNA tv WITHOUT internet.

Outside all of that, it was chaos.

Fights at home. Alcohol involved. But not me and my brother. Who do you think?

To the point things were smashed and broken and tears were running down me and my brothers faces. And lies were told.

Do you honestly think we lie about reasons for stress relief or methods of how we young ones blow off steam? Not even one coping mechanism.

Cause im just smoking cannabis, looking for a job, while getting stressed the hell out at home.

Cannabis at least for calming down, killing the fear and anxiety and pain. Emotional, Even and Especially physical.

Just had my 22nd birthday come and go recently and now im just starting to think this is very fucked up.

How can i forward that i just don't want, let alone EVER, hurt anybody and calmly follow my dreams without messing with, hurting, or offending people?

Is it really my life when i turn 18?

Cause i also remember hearing something about being your own person.

Why would I want to be a criminal or anything unpleasant or flat out negative?

Hell even the showoffs in cartoon episodes on many shows throughout the years have literally depicted that kind of person.

March 22nd 2013.

I got stuck in the bathroom for 25 mins to what felt like an hour.... Meanwhile on the outside EVERYBODY WAS FIGHTING.

This was screaming and honestly Hell.

I dreaded going outside of the bathroom.

So i stayed inside until everything was over eventually.

I told one of my guidance counselors at middle school this while she was taking me home after i missed the bus at school.

YEAH. you can miss the bus at school and if your parents have the whole night of work until 11pm and no one else to pick you up THEN YOU WERE HONESTLY FUCKED.

So my counselor at middle school took me home. She owned 11/22/63 by stephen king.

Let me read it for a bit.

Saw the series later on Hulu later in life.

Though, at least my brother got a bus ride. At least he didnt have to share the fear and little bit of hopelessness i was feeling.

But when i got a ride from a fellow stephen king fan, i was beyond caring of any distress.

And i was still a big Sonic fan at the time and also beginning to go into the brony fandom.

Now to tell you the truth nitty gritty, i first saw MindlessGonzos Tumblr dubs. One of the very first things that got me into the fandom. After that it was Quemdolum or JackTHerbert. They made me laugh and kept my head above water while i was also getting heavily bullied in 7th grade to 8th.

Then it was onto music from the fandom

Teithepony or AcidUsagi now -- Love me cheerilee. Tried to look and find that one but in time i got it. I think it was the first pony remix i ever heard. The rest of the iconic music/ songs like Winter Dance up from SimGretina, or Discord from Odyssey Eurobeat were just amazing.

But however just to bring things back to reality and TO BE HONEST 2013 sortve ruined that. On July 6th 2013, i was ultimately and just devastatingly disappointed after so much hope was built up even by my mom. Told it wasn't possible for a trip to BronyCon 2013. Mom was then telling my brother in the kitchen to NOT tell me "I told you so."

That's how shit that was. Even when my brother was telling me "No i wasnt going to bronycon".

Then for some reason my mom shouted

"Yes he is!"

This was before the disappointment.

This was a good shot of hope for a bit.

But yeah it was a stupid but inadvertent fake out. I know it wasnt all on purpose to hurt me. Well then mom why did you say Yes He Is like everything was going to be FINE AND DANDY???

I know it wasnt deliberate because she never showed hostility or a "fuck you deal with it" mentality.

If that happened i would've snapped. More than i would think or imagine.

I feel like Henry Creedlow off of George A Romero's Bruiser.

Now there's no more pony cons at all............................ . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . .i dont even know whats gonna happen with Gen 5. Lets just wait and see.

To be honest i hope its not gonna get worse where in one scenario:

No one will care or know to the point where i could be dying of cancer, and no one would know or know for sure if it was cancer cause i had no doctors visit/appointment let alone Diagnosis to prognosis.

I'm Just a fan of so many interests that made me and lots of others who probably went through shit i went through maybe even WORSE,

But it doesn't mean i have no life.

Been through shit and honestly don't even know if i can even do shit. Its hard living down here.

Went through all 12 grades

But got no diploma or didnt went to the graduation ceremony or kinda sadder, could not afford the cap and gown.

All the chaos at home and on the outside of home. Just got worse after that. Way way worse.

Im very scared of approaching 2018.

This year was a defining year of what i call

"Crazy heartless Bleakness" that just ignored mental health, human problems, and abandoned all consideration empathy and compassion. Thats what i felt in 2018. Let alone losing friends.

Later it became surreal and terrifying because this was the year i got arrested at a wawa for having a crazy mental breakdown.

This was the moment i snapped out of reality and it was probably vaporized out of my head as i would describe it.

They said i was talking crazy, something happened and that my family was looking for me. My mom put out missing posters/papers.

But what happened to me in the jail.

You wouldn't believe me.

After that things were very different.

Then.... Weird very coincidental things started to happen.

To be continued...