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mongooseblues · 3 years

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Bless You Father for I Have Sinned (Fleabag, Hot Priest) 1/1

Did anyone watch Fleabag and/or want to read about a hot priest sneezing?

This works just fine as a standalone if u haven’t seen the show but for context: Hot Irish prob alcoholic “cool swear-y” priest and recovering sex addict and all-around hot mess main character (who doesn’t have a name) strike up a “friendship” that is just a poorly veiled excuse for spending time with someone they want very badly to fuck but can’t bc priesthood vow of celibacy and whatnot.

Here’s ~2k words in which I continuously get off on the idea of blessing a priest and unresolved sexual tension I also don’t resolve.

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“Fuck you, calling me Father like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it…”

It happens for maybe ten minutes before it starts to stick out to her. Because it’s cold, as it always is on early-spring nights in London, and while they’re both fully dressed (unfortunately), neither is probably quite dressed enough to be out in a garden at this hour. And they’re a bit drunk—not that drunk, they’re both pretty practiced—on the G&Ts he’s so fond of for whatever reason. He specifically likes the kind you get already mixed in a can, which are especially shit, but it’s almost endearing that he likes those in particular. Well, very endearing actually. Goddamn this man—or… hmm, poor choice of words.

It doesn’t really grab her attention until he combines the sniffling with pinching his nostrils together.

“You alright, you’re quite sniffly?”

“I know, I dunno what’s going on,” he says, and punctuates it with a harsher sniffle than the ones previously unacknowledged, “Think ‘m just cold.” He zips his sweatshirt up a bit as if to illustrate.

“We could get you a blanket and swaddle you up like baby Jesus.”

He laughs. She extracts from her coat pocket a pack of cigarettes, takes one herself and angles the carton toward him in offering. Mostly because she wants him to scoot closer to her on the bench as she flicks the lighter for him. The flame illuminates the angles of his face in orange, the back of his fingers grazing her hand by happy accident, and yes, it’s a little pathetic that this momentary skin-to-skin contact is as erotic as it is to her, but that’s what you get when you fancy a priest isn’t it?

“They’re always describing him as being swaddled. Odd word, swaddled. Sounds kind of violent.”

“It does kind of,” he agrees, leaning back against the bench and exhaling a stream of smoke into the night air. Her plan worked, he’s ever so slightly closer to her now, post cigarette exchange, close enough that when he sniffles she can feel the slight vibration of his shoulders through the loose fabric on her coat sleeve. It unites them like an accidental spark of electricity she can sense just faintly enough to feel jumpy. Or turned on. Or both.

She really shouldn’t be this shameless about trying desperately to corrupt a man of the cloth she wants to get under. Maybe she’d feel properly guilty if she wasn’t quite so fucking horny.

“So you did read more than just the passages I marked for you?” He asks, at once surprised and pleased and maybe nervous, grinning but also looking away for a moment as if he could disguise all of that.

“Not really, just the birth of the ol’ lord and savior. It seemed like it’d be climactic.”

“Was it?”

“Can’t say I climaxed reading it, no,” she says with a cheeky look that elicits the laughter she’s looking for, “No offense but it’s really quite boring, this book you love so much.”

“Yeah… that’s a tragically common sentiment among reviewers.” He’s scratching at his nose with the back of one wrist with such intensity it’s unmistakeable how much it’s bothering him.

“Don’t care much for the writing style either, I have to say.”

If the irritation could be resolved with a mouse-like scrunch of the nose he’d have figured it out by now, and clearly he hasn’t because he still has to shrink into his crossed arms like an accordion with a fairly high-pitched, vocal and thus somehow Irish-accented, “Hehh-ishhYUE!”

“Bless. The only way I was able to get through it was by imagining you in every speaking role.”

It’s a sentence meant to provoke him, not unlike most of her sentences, and for a minute as her eyes are on her own exhaled smoke and he fails to respond, she wonders whether it sounded even weirder than she meant it, but as it turns out he’s just about to sneeze again — squinting into the distance and bringing an arm to his face in slow motion.

“Mmff-SHOO!” He blinks in surprise as he resumes his previous position on the bench, now shifted just a bit farther away from her. Damn.

“Ugh, sorry. Every speaking role?? Ohfuck— ahh-ishSHEU!”

“Jesus.”

“You imagined me as Jesus??”

“No I mean Jesus, are you okay, did you catch something?” Of course she imagined him as Jesus.

“Ooh I hope not,” he says with a nervous look, “that’d be lousy timing.”

“The lord works in mysterious ways.”

“Thuh-that he does—” A sudden inhale, a crooked arm rising at a much hastened speed. It begins in a manageable way, somewhat controlled, but then it seems to get away from him.

“Hh… hehd’SHHUE!”

“Bless you, Father."

He mumbles a thank you bookended by soft snuffling.

“Maybe he’s sent you a plague of sneezing. He does that sometimes doesn’t he? Send plagues?”

His face just scarcely conveys amusement before it’s hijacked again by the same expectant expression, but he still attempts to talk through it, even as irritation becomes evident in every feature. “S-sometimes…”

She thinks about saying bless you in advance but decides instead to just wait for him to succumb to it. A flicker of lashes, a reveal of the very tips of canines, his entire face crinkles around his visibly twitching nose. It pulls him downward and then forward in that order, as he collapses into a crooked arm as if stumbling despite being seated.

An especially desperate, “hehhSCHOO!” that begins quietly but certainly doesn’t end that way.

“God bless you, Father, again.”

“Wow,” he says with a sniff, knuckles swiping under his nose in a single smooth motion, “Maybe I’m allergic to you. My body’s having a reaction.”

“Is it?”

An eyeroll and a grin, and then he goes back to scratching at his aggravated face in a manner that’s becoming aggressive.

“Well stop manhandling your nose that’s clearly not working.” Before she can think better of it, she takes his elbow to pull the offending arm away from his face. She can feel his muscles tense with the movement, but when she looks up at him there’s only a blurry-eyed smile chased by a nervous huff of a laugh. Another line she can’t uncross but doesn’t particularly want to.

The therapist hadn’t needed to point out that her all-consuming attraction to someone she couldn’t have was probably a healthy coping mechanism of her recently adopted abstinence. She hadn’t really expected this though — for her advances to not be rejected entirely. She hadn’t planned for hope to cease feeling like such a daft, one-sided notion.

“Should I even be blessing you or is that overkill? Or am I even qualified to bless you? Can one bless a priest if they’re not like, anointed or something?”

“You can bless me,” he confirms, looking like he’s barely got a handle on controlling his own eyebrows. Or lips for that matter. God, that mouth, those lips. Parting by accident the way she’d like to make them open on purpose.

“Little greedy of you. You’re not blessed enough as is?”

“Neh—neverhurts…” He pitches sidewards with a slurred, tellingly tipsy, “hehh-ESHHyoooo!”

“Bless you…”

“Thank you,” he sniffles with embarrassed necessity, bringing the back of a sleeve to his nose.

“Hold on, I think I have some tissues,” she says as she feels around in her bag in the darkness, “Well, cocktail napkins at least.” Another knuckle brush as she hands them to him. How arousing. How pitifully arousing. She really should come up with ways to hand him things more often.

“Ahh you were holding out on me,” he says, and then after a gentle blow, “Sorry.”

“You are coming down with something aren’t you?"

He thinks about it, bringing the napkin away from his nostrils with a final follow-up dab. “I dunno, maybe?”

“Do you feel ill?”

“Mostly just very itchy.”

How many other chances will she get… She reaches a hand to gingerly press the back of her fingers against his forehead. He blinks a few times in response, rapidly and reflexively, and swallows back a smile. There’s a burning in her stomach that’s neither pleasant nor unpleasant.

“Um, you feel okay I think?” She says, attention course-corrected back to the cigarette crumbling in her hand, but still glancing at him to measure the aftermath of the relatively bold gesture and they lock smiling eyes in the process.

If he really wanted to ward her off he’s doing a phenomenally shitty job of it. She knows he wants her. God if only that was enough, to know he wanted her.

“I think you’re right I’ve been sent a plague of sneezing. Probably trying to tell me something.”

“Something about how your new friend could take care of you?”

He grins with half of his mouth. “Or something about how I probably shouldn’t be drinking G&Ts in the middle of the night with my new friend who I like a little too much.”

Oh he… really shouldn’t have given her that.

“ExxSHHUE!!” He shakes the whole bench with this, then straightens back up, not looking entirely recovered, and says almost to himself, “And about how I probably shouldn’t tell my new friend that I like them a little too much.”

“But you did anyway and he hasn’t, I dunno, smote you down yet.”

Irritation is still etched into his features, his chest slowly swelling with air, hastily fiddling with the napkins.

“Are you actually going to sneeze again? You haven’t finished?”

He shakes his head as his eyes close and seizes into a rushed, “hehESHHyue!"

“It’s a plague I can’t stop! Snf, it’s out of my hands."

She knows the night’s over, she does. She gets the sense that she’d been invited to overstay her welcome, but it’s getting past that point now. Whenever she leaves after being around him her face hurts from smiling like an idiot the whole time and she comes away aching in more ways than one. That ache is starting already, another sign they’ve stretched this interaction too long once again.

However, alcohol. “If you tell me to leave and you sneeze again perhaps we’ll know whether or not it was divine intervention.”

“He might just be punishing me now anyway,” he sighs, remembering a cigarette he may not have taken a single drag from, neglected and foreshortening in his fingers.

“We haven’t done anything we’re just talking. I’m a—what is it, parishioner?”

“That is a word, yes. Snf! Though it implies someone who’s actually going to church to, you know, practice their faith."

“I’m a parishioner here to…” she’s not even sure what to say, she still doesn’t know shit about Catholicism aside from the fact that it’s a massive cockblock, “seek your… counsel? Guidance? Guidance counseling.”

He puts a hand over part of his face, tired but amused. “You can’t act innocent even when you’re trying your best, can you?"

She almost snorts. Is this what he thinks trying her best looks like?—No, don’t actually say— “Who said I was trying my best?”

Why can’t she stop herself from saying things like that to him? The only thing that’s going to stop her now is a ‘no’ that’s actually firm enough not to give way when she presses against it relentlessly. He honestly needs to just get it over with before he really gives her too much to hold onto. She’s not going to win out over God, the guy’s pretty fucking stiff competition.

Goddamnit, just break her heart already, what the fuck is he waiting for? This should have ended ages ago, and now it’s getting dangerously close to too late.

Was it unfair to assume he’d be stronger than her? Or is he trying to hurt himself too? A duetted exercise in masochism, mutually assured destruc—

“—ESSHHYUE!” He looks at her through wet lashes, bleary and sheepish and drunk and cute and fuck.

She sighs loudly, looks skyward and says, “Right, you’ve made your point! I’m leaving!”

#am i going to include the forehead feeling trope in every fic I ever write? ur goddamn right I am #to be fair I resisted the heightened temperature temptation aaand he’s not technically sick so I’m ‘doing something new’#I’ve done this platonic-but-not dynamic to death and I’ll 100% do it again in the future #i have absolutely no concept of how popular this show is or isn't #but hey hot priest is hot so here ya go #i am not even a little bit catholic but neither is fleabag so no research for meeeee #mongoose writes sometimes

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flamed-like-anything · 5 years

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Ineffable plans

Another Fleabag crossover fic that nobody asked for - this time, with Good Omens. 2100 words. Also on ao3.

"So, I, wow," started the priest, who at this point had recovered some of his wits. "So are you here- Is this- Do you have some kind of message for me, or...?"

"A message?" said Crowley, annoyed. "We're not the Microsoft Office paperclip, we don't just pop up with little hints for you every now and then."

It was a blistering day in mid-August and the priest was shuffling around between the pews in his church, trying to find a football that had rolled under a seat, when he was interrupted by a polite cough. In the light of the doorway were standing two men. One was placid-looking and beaming, in an immaculate cream suit with a shock of white hair. The other, serpentine and dark, seemed to be doing some kind of odd jerking movement with his feet, never leaving them on the floor for more than a moment at a time.

"Do excuse me," said the white-haired man politely, "we're looking for the father of this parish?"

"Hi! That's me," replied the priest, stumbling over a kneeler cushion to offer his hand.

"Ah, excellent," he said, shaking his hand warmly. "My name is Aziraphale and this is my fiancé Crowley."

"Lovely to meet you," said Crowley, continuing his strange dance, as though the soles of his shoes were on fire. "I won't shake hands. Bit of a cold, don't want to pass it on."

"Sure, sure," said the priest. "How can I help you both today?"

"Well, we're looking for a place for a wedding, and we do love old churches like this one," started Aziraphale.

"We had a bit of a romantic moment in one once," supplied Crowley. "It was fun, there were Nazis."

"He saved my books," said Aziraphale, with a tender, loving gaze at his partner.

"Oh wow, that sounds very- there were Nazis?"

"Oh, don't worry," said Crowley with a devilish grin, "they've been dealt with."

"Crowley!" his fiancé admonished. "Don't scare the poor man."

"No, no," the priest reassured them. "We don't like Nazis here either."

"Excellent," beamed Aziraphale, spreading his arms to hustle the priest out of the door and onto the pavement. "Let's talk about it over lunch."

"Where were you thinking, angel?" asked Crowley as they all stepped into the road.

"Ooh, well, there's this wonderful-"

A honking noise was the only warning they got before the lorry came barrelling into them.

In a flash, the priest's vision was filled with feathers, some brilliant white and blinding, some glossy, black as pitch. He blinked, and found himself shielded by two pairs of wings as the wind from the passing lorry whooshed around them, blowing up dust and debris from the road. The vehicle had miraculously swerved just at the last second to avoid them.

"Get out of the road!" Crowley shouted at the back of the lorry, with some rather descriptive hand gestures. The couple both shook their feathers a little, and Crowley picked some debris off the front of Aziraphale's lapels for him, examining it with a grimace.

"Do you think they noticed the old-" said Aziraphale, gesturing at his wings.

"They never notice anything, humans," snorted Crowley, picking a crisp packet out of his feathers.

The priest squeaked.

"Ah," said Aziraphale, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "That was the other thing that-"

"Fuck," said the priest, shaken. "I- You-" His eyes were bulging out of his head. The two angels - because that seemed the only logical explanation - both looked rather concerned as he wobbled over to the pavement.

Reverently, he dropped to his knees, head spinning. "He will cover you with his pinions," he breathed, "and under his wings you will find refuge."

"Yes, yes, that sort of thing," said the angel in a soothing voice, pulling him gently to his feet and patting his arm. "Let's get you a nice cup of tea and some lunch, hmm?"

"Do we have to do this?" asked Crowley in an undertone as they steered the mute priest towards a nearby restaurant. "Couldn't we just-"

Aziraphale wrinkled his nose and squirmed a little. "That doesn't seem right."

"But we could just-"

"No," he said more firmly, making up his mind. "We are not starting our marriage by wiping this poor man's memory. It sets a terrible precedent."

"Fine," huffed Crowley, "but if he gets all weird about it, I'm going home."

Luckily, a table for three just happened to become available the moment they walked into the restaurant, and they were soon ensconced in a comfortable booth with a bottle of rather nice Merlot and a pot of tea.

"So, I, wow," started the priest, who at this point had recovered some of his wits. "So are you here- Is this- Do you have some kind of message for me, or...?"

"A message?" said Crowley, annoyed. "We're not the Microsoft Office paperclip, we don't just pop up with little hints for you every now and then."

"Paperclip?" said Aziraphale, bemused. "I'm afraid you've lost me there."

"It's a," Crowley gestured vaguely, "computery thing."

Aziraphale shuddered delicately. "Oh. Well, regardless, no. We're not exactly on... active duty these days."

"Angels can retire?" asked the priest, racking his brain for what he could remember from seminary school. Nothing sprang to mind, but he would be the first to admit that he wasn't at his sharpest at this particular moment.

"Not strictly," said the angel, "but I think Heaven is currently, ah, a little busy with other matters."

"I'm not technically an angel, either," said Crowley, tipping down his sunglasses to reveal his eyes, deep orange with snakelike pupils. "There was a bit of a disciplinary... kerfuffle, and I'm more what you might call your actual demon... type... thing, really."

"So why did you come to my church?" said the priest, taking a large and restorative sip of his wine. "Can you even, how did you cross the threshold?"

"Bit hard on the feet, consecrated ground," agreed Crowley, grinning widely, "but it'll be worth it to see their faces."

"Whose faces?"

"I've had a bit of a bust-up with Hell over this whole Apocalypse fiasco - long story, you don't need to know - but this is going to piss off Beelzebub and the other arseholes to no end."

Aziraphale gave a happy wiggle. "They'll be jolly upset," he agreed. "Gabriel too, the bastard."

Sprawled over his seat, Crowley gave the angel a magnificently adoring look.

"So you really are getting married?" the priest asked, for clarification.

"Oh yes," said Aziraphale.

"And not just out of spite," said Crowley.

"No. Although there is some spite," conceded the angel. "I hope that's not a problem for you."

"I've seen people get married for worse reasons," he said absently. "What did you mean when you said Heaven is busy?"

"Busy playing silly buggers," muttered the demon.

"There was this sort of Apocalypse type thing that we rather, ah, got in the way of a bit - it was all terribly ineffable, you understand - and so they'll probably be off gearing up to do it all over again for a while. They seem to have left us alone, at any rate."

"Is it allowed, the two of you being together?"

"Oh, not at all," said the angel, gripping his fiancé's hand firmly. "They made a terrible fuss."

"I'll note that the Almighty hasn't smited us down, though," observed Crowley. He cocked his head, a little frown wrinkling his brow. "Smited. Smitten. Smoted?"

"Sorry," said the priest, his brain catching up with him. "Did you say that you stopped the Apocalypse?"

"For now, yes."

The priest poured himself another, very large, glass of wine.

"Fuck me. Well, fuck." He took a meditative gulp. "If it comes up again, I'm happy to help, if you need," he offered weakly. He wasn't entirely sure what help, exactly, he could offer, but he could probably do something.

Maybe he could design the uniforms.

"That's very kind of you," said the angel. "You seem like a very nice young man. Are you married?"

"No, not really allowed in the Catholic..." he trailed off, thinking. "Fuck, is any of that true? How does God feel about priests falling in love?"

"It's always difficult to know exactly what the ineffable plan is," hemmed Aziraphale.

The priest frowned. "You can't talk directly to God?"

"Not without being put on hold for hours. It's worse than telephoning the gas company. No, I'm afraid I don't know."

"Probably doesn't give a fuck, to be honest," interjected Crowley. "Compared to our forbidden love, yours is... mildly hinted against."

"Breaking a couple of by-laws, punishable by a fine, kind of thing," supplied Aziraphale.

"Probably not even that! I mean look at us, walking around un-smitten."

"I must protest, Crowley!" said Aziraphale indulgently. "I am entirely smitten." They shared a long, loving look.

The priest, busy having an existential crisis, paid no notice.

"I'm afraid there's really no way to know the Almighty's plan for you," Aziraphale said to him gently, "but that's not so bad, is it? That means you get to decide for yourself."

"Jesus fucking Christ," said the priest, just as the waiter stopped at their table to deliver their food. This being the kind of establishment that insisted on the highest level of discretion and politeness from their staff, he merely raised an eyebrow at the priest's collar and turned away without comment, smiling to himself.

"You don't have to fall in love if you don't want to," the angel continued in a delicate tone, "but equally, if there's someone who..."

The two celestial beings locked eyes with each other again, and Crowley brought Aziraphale's hand to his lips to give it a soft, affectionate kiss.

"Look, it's just not worth putting it off, all right?" said the angel. "Believe me."

The priest hunched down in his chair. "How do you know you've done the right thing?" he said in a small voice.

"Don't ask me about the right thing," said Crowley, "I've been trying to do the opposite for 6,000 years, I couldn't tell you anything about doing the right thing, but I can tell you this: whenever I look at him, all I can see is hope."

Aziraphale visibly melted, cradling Crowley's face in one hand. "And I you, dear boy," he said sincerely, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

After a moment, he turned back to the priest, who was picking at a plate of mussels without enthusiasm, reconsidering his life choices.

"I really don't mean to pry," said Aziraphale hesitantly, "but she's working at that café today, you know."

The priest gave a breathless laugh, shaking his head. "Fucking angels."

"Like I said, I don't like to be too forward, but it really does seem a shame."

Crowley, busily wrapping himself around Aziraphale like ivy, hummed his assent.

Giving a lopsided half-smile, the priest looked down at his hands. "I'm supposed to love one thing."

"Love isn't finite, Father," said the angel patiently. "When you find someone you love... you fall in love with the whole world, through them. There's enough to go around."

"Best to be on the safe side, though." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Don't want to mess up any divine plans."

"Listen," said Crowley, taking an interest. "How about this - you go ahead and get this girl and be happy, and if we see any divine wrath headed your way we'll just sort of... head it off at the pass."

"Yes!" beamed Aziraphale, bouncing in his seat. "We'll keep an eye out for locusts and hellfire and so forth, then you won't have to worry."

"Provided you agree to do our wedding, of course," added the demon with a cocked eyebrow.

"That seems fair," said the priest. "Fuck. OK." He let out a huff of air. He fought the urge to giggle, feeling infinite promise crackling around the edge of his vision. Maybe this could work. It was a celestial being-approved plan. "OK."

"If you start running now, you could get to her in ten minutes," said Crowley casually, pouring himself another drink.

"Fuck," said the priest again, for good measure, and drained his glass. "Right, fuck it." He bounded to his feet and sprinted for the door.

"You could have offered him a lift, you scoundrel," he heard Aziraphale saying to Crowley, but he didn't have space in his brain to think about it.

A few minutes later, he arrived at the door to Hillary's out of breath, dishevelled and panting, sweat beading on his forehead in the midday sun. Pushing open the door, he burst ungracefully into the room and stopped short.

She was standing at the counter, looking alarmed, amused, and pleased in equal measures.

"I-" he started, then stopped. With a couple of strides, he crossed the room and took her face in his hands.

"I have had the weirdest fucking day," he said, and kissed her.

#Fleabag #Good omens #fanfiction #ineffable husbands #fleabag/priest

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lunellumcas · 7 years

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Sheep references in the Bible

This is a listing of all the sheep references in the bible, in honor of the three sheep in 13x02. Also, the bible was literally thrown in, so..

(There are a lot, but guys I gotta go all out on the religion meta, I have a need to give my religious upbringing purpose) So I’m gonna put it all under a cut. I’m also tagging a few meta writers that might be interested in seeing them all laid out, in case any of this is relevant to things they’re thinking about. (Hope that’s alright. You don’t have to respond, just thought it might be handy to have a list.)

I’m gonna start with old testament because that’s where the Song of Solomon is, which is the most direct reference to the bible in the episode. This is probably gonna be tainted by my religion, and other religions may have wildly different interpretations of some of these passages, I don’t know. I tried to just go with exactly what is in the KJV and not interpret too much for that reason. I am, however, going to give some possible show interpretation, just to get some discussion down and started

Genesis 4:2 “And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.”

Woah. So, Dean has already been massively tied to Cain, which obviously casts Sam as Abel. Here, Sam is shepherding little Jack while Dean is over there being “very wroth” (verse 5). It should be noted that in verse 8 Cain has a talk with his brother and then kills him. Sure Dean and Sam are having a disagreement, but hopefully it won’t come to that…

Numbers 27:17 Here Moses is asking God to set a leader over the congregation so that they won’t be “as sheep which have no shepherd.” God tells him to put his honor on Joshua so that the congregation will obey Joshua as their leader.

Well.. Moses just found out he’s never gonna enter the promised land—so the people need someone else to lead them. He chooses Joshua. In this story, Kelly knew she was never going to get to lead Jack, so she chose Castiel. But then Cas died, and now Jack is lost. Poor little sheep.

1 Kings 22:17 This prophet named Micaiah is prophesying; “And he said, I saw all Israel scattered upon the hills, as sheep that have not a shepherd: and the Lord said, These have no master: let them return every man to his house in peace.”

Ok so this phrase comes up a few times. (In fact this exact story is repeated in 2 Chronicles 18 and verse 16 is nearly identical to this one, with an added “scattered upon the mountains.”) But.. Israel is God’s chosen, and in Kings it’s referring to how the present king will die if he goes to war (which he does) and the new king will lead the people to do evil and then they will be lost. So that’s foreboding and relevant. Also, our team of chosen is literally scattered too: God left Sam and Dean (and Cas (and Mary)) in charge and now they’re all scattered, by being gone in two cases, and by disagreeing in the others; And now they’re on the mountain seeking revelation? And God’s like “nah”?

Psalms 44:22 “Yea, for thy sake are we killed all the day long; we are counted as sheep for the slaughter.”

Uh oh

This is a prayer to God from his followers, saying such things as 23 “Awake, why sleepest thou, O Lord?” 24 “Wherefore hidest thou thy face, and forgettest our affliction and our oppression?” and 26 “Arise for our help.”

Verse 22 of this psalm is referenced in Romans 8:36, but put in a more hopeful light. Paul writes: 37 “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” He has faith that 38 “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Psalms 78:52 This chapter is talking about how God got mad at the Israelites for being rude to Him while wandering in the desert (read: asking for too much), and forgetting how much He had helped them, how God delivered Israel from Egypt, how He sent plagues and smote the firstborn of Egypt and sent evil angels among them, 52 “But made his own people to go forth like sheep, and guided them in the wilderness like a flock.” 53 “And he led them on safely, so that they feared not: but the sea overwhelmed their enemies.” 54 “And he brought them to the border of his sanctuary, even to this mountain, which his right hand had purchased.”

Well.. our heroes are sort of wandering the metaphorical desert right now (with Mary (and possibly Cas) wandering a real one). Here’s to hoping they find the promised land.

(Here being sheep is a good thing, but only if you’ve got a shepherd.)

Psalms 95:7 is similar. Let’s worship the Lord our maker “For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. Today if ye will hear his voice, 8 harden not your heart.”

And Psalm 100:3 “we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”

Psalms 119:176 “I have gone astray like a lost sheep.”

Another prayer to God, basically saying I’ll do anything for you, pls help

This phrase is also pretty common, it turns up again in 1 Peter 2:25 “For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.” (by the atonement).

Isaiah 53:6-7 “All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.”

This is about Christ atoning for the sins of all mankind. Sounds like someone’s gonna let himself die to save the world………….

This scripture is read by a Eunuch in Acts 8:32. In verse 29 “the Spirit said unto Phillip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.” And Phillip did, and came upon this “eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians,” who was reading that scripture. Phillip explained it to him and started preaching, and then they came to some water, where the eunuch asked him to baptize him, which he did. Then 39 “the Spirit of the Lord caught away Phillip, that the eunuch saw him no more” and it turns out Phillip was just going around preaching in all the cities

Sounds a little like Jack converting people to his cause even in the womb, idk, like a lightning-fast conversion rate

Side note, Phillip had been told by “an angel of the Lord” (26) to go down there in the first place

Ezekiel 34 This whole chapter is about Jesus berating the shepherds of Israel for not taking care of the flock. It’s long and I don’t feel like quoting it all but it’s all about how He’s gonna take away the sheep from the shepherds so they can’t eat them anymore, and he’s gonna gather up all the sheep that are scattered and lost so they won’t be prey anymore, and he’s gonna feed them and give them pastures and cause them to lie down, and make them safe, and fix the sick and broken, and then he’s gonna make David their shepherd, and oh yeah, sheep = house of Israel

Micah 5:8 “And the remnant of Jacob shall be among the Gentiles in the midst of many people as a lion among the beasts of the forest, as a young lion among the flocks of sheep: who, if he go through, both treadeth down, and teareth in pieces, and none can deliver.”

Uh, in this instance, it is NOT GOOD to be sheep

Zechariah 13:7 “Awake, O sword, against my shepherd, and against the man that is my fellow, saith the Lord of hosts: smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered: and I will turn my hand upon the little ones.”

So, when Jesus comes again 2/3 of the people will “be cut off and die” (8) and the last third will be refined in fire and when they call upon him he will hear them and say “It is my people.” (9).

Jesus references this in Matthew 26:31, right before going to Gethsemane, but he seems to be talking in terms of, when he dies, the disciples will be scattered, but.. he’s gonna be resurrected so… (This is word-for-word repeated in Mark 14:27).

Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”

Pretty obvious Asmodeus-as-Donatello thing, weirdly literal too

The next verse is “ye shall know them by their fruits,” which if that isn’t spot on for Dean and Sam arguing about Jack’s nature based on tallying up the things he does… well… worryingly, this part culminates in the assertion that “every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.” (verse 19).

This is part of the Sermon on the Mount which is basically a guide to goodness and how to get into Heaven instead of being destroyed, so you know, not relevant to Jack at all.

Matthew 9:36 is about Jesus having compassion on the multitudes because they “were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.” And so he sends his apostles to go “to the lost sheep of the house of Israel” (Matt 10:6) with instruction to “heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils.” (Matt 10:8).

Raise the dead? YUP

Matthew 15:24 Christ says he can’t cast out a devil from a Canaan woman’s daughter because he was “not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But then he does it anyway because of her great faith.

Matthew 12:11-12 when the Pharisees get mad at Jesus for healing a man on the Sabbath, he comes back at them with this: “What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out?” 12 “How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do good on the sabbath days.”

So this is about saving people even when your methods are questioned, cuz it’s good, and also cuz you’re the savior and you are “greater than the [priests in the] temple” (12:6).

Matthew 18:12 “How think ye? If a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?” 13 “And if it so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.”

Mountains in the bible are often shorthand for revelation, or seeking god. So… praying to god to find the lost sheep maybe? WINk wiNK? Also, maybe now Dean will learn to appreciate Cas more after having lost him or something idk I’m just spitballing here

Also in verse 11 Christ says he came to “save that which is lost,” so he’s also saying that he plans to save those who can be brought to repentance, ie. It’s ok if you have made mistakes as long as you repent; also, he’s talking about children immediately before and after these verses, and while I’m not exactly sure what it’s about, he’s definitely saying that the will of god is that children go to heaven, and don’t “despise” children, whatever that’s supposed to mean.

FYI this story is retold in Luke 15

Matthew 25 This chapter is all about how Christ is going to come again, ie. End of days, and no one knows when so you better be prepared. Starting in verse 32 it’s about how in the end, He will separate the souls “as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats” with the sheep being those that get to go to heaven and the goats being “cursed” “into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.” Because the sheep fed and clothed their brethren and the goats did not.

Sooo the Winchesters will be rewarded for feeding and clothing Jack and taking him in? (25:35 “I was a stranger, and ye took me in: 36 “Naked and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.”

Again, also about how to be good, and why it’s important

John 10 This is another long one. Basically it’s a parable about sheep, but Jesus actually explains the parable pretty right out for once. Basically Jesus is the shepherd (sheep will follow him, and they won’t follow the “thieves and robbers” (false prophets?) that tried to sneak. Christ is also the “sheep door” and if you come into the fold through him you’ll be saved.

This is where the phrase “good shepherd” comes from: 11 “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep” and 14 “I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.”

This makes it sound like Dean is the good shepherd, since he seems to be the only one seeing the sheep…

Also, after Jesus said all this stuff the people thought he had a devil and wanted to stone him for blasphemy

John 21:15-17 Jesus asks Simon Peter three times “lovest thou me?” and Jesus tells him three times “feed my sheep”.. here, I’ll just quote you 17: “He said unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.”

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. If you love Cas… feed his nephilim man-baby?

Then there are even more if you are looking at “lamb”

Genesis 22:7-8 Abraham was getting all ready to sacrifice his son Isaac. They’re ready to go and Isaac is like… “where is the lamb?” (7) and Abraham says “My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together” (8) Of course, as soon as Abraham is about to kill his son, an ANGEL turns up and tells him not to. And then they find “a ram caught in a thicket by his horns” (13) and sacrifice it instead. And then the angel blesses Abraham for being willing to kill his son, and the blessing is that his seed will be amazing

Exodus 12 describes how to keep firstborn sons safe from smiting during the Passover. Basically they were to eat one lamb per household on a specific night (with very specific instructions, including wearing their shoes and not leaving any of it til morning and then they were supposed to put the blood on the sides and tops of their doors so that their houses would get passed over during the smiting. The lamb had to be “without blemish, a male of the first year” (12:5).

Exodus 29:33-42 another specific set of rituals for sacrificing lambs, supposed to go on for generations at the door of the tabernacle, so that the Lord will “meet with the children of Israel” there. It’s supposed to be one lamb cooked in the morning with oils and wine and one cooked at night, the same.

This recipe is also laid out in Numbers 28

Leviticus 14:10 pretty much the same as above, only this sacrifice is to cleanse lepers and their leprous stuff (interestingly, verse 21 has a slightly modified recipe for those who are too poor)

Isaiah 11:6 “The wolf shall also dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fattling together; and a little child shall lead them.” When Jesus comes again. This is reiterated in Isaiah 65:25. Basically, everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt

Lol ya right, not in this show

Isaiah 40:11 This chapter is more of the same. It’s actually pretty beautiful sounding. But the relevant verse says “He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” I suppose it’s unclear if this is referring to actual lambs, but most churches probably interpret this as being, well, them

I like to think verse 12 could apply to Cas: “Who hath measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, and meted out heaven with the span, and comprehended the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance?”

Luke 10: 3 Christ appoints seventy more disciples, saying “Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves”

Kinda what Chuck did with Sam and Dean (/shrugs)

And then there’s “flock.” Most of these are pretty much the same and even occur in the same set of verse as “sheep” and “lamb.” But I listed the new ones

Genesis 30 Jacob tends Laban’s flocks; in Genesis 36 Jacob’s sons (except Joseph) tend to Jacob’s flocks. In Exodus 3, Moses keeps the flocks of Jethro

Leviticus 1:10 sheep or goats used as burnt offerings to atone for sins should be male and without blemish, also kill it on the north side of the altar and sprinkle the blood around

Deuteronomy 8:13 Don’t forget God even when “thy flocks multiply” i.e when things are good

Probably not relevant then

Proverbs 27:23 “Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds.”

This chapter is just like a lot of advice, including such gems as “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (6) and “The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.” (7) but this is probably all too far removed to be relevant anyway

Jeremiah 10:21 “For the pastors are become brutish, and have not sought the Lord: therefore they shall not prosper, and their flocks shall be scattered.”

Jeremiah 13:17 “…my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the Lord’s flock is carried away captive.”

Juicy

Jeremiah 31:10 “Hear the word of the Lord, O ye nations, and declare it in the isles afar off, and say, He that scattered Israel will gather him, and keep him, as a shepherd doth his flock.”

Luke 2:8 “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.” 9 “And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.” 10 “And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.”

The birth of a savior, heralded by an angel. I feel it’s pretty self-explanatory how this might fit in

Acts 20:28-29 “Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. 29 For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. 30 Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them.”

Well.. God left Sam and Dean as overseers to the whole world, so it’s all in danger. Also, they’re totally infighting, so…

1 Peter 5:2-4 “Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; 3 Neither as being lords over god’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock. 4 And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.”

Okay so here we have Dean and Sam feeding the flock of god aka Jack, who is literally god’s heritage.. and they may or may not be doing it to lord over his power. My guess is Sam kind of is tbh. And Jack was straight up copying Dean, so he was an example.. hmm.. So… this could be referring to Dean…

if Cas is the chief Shepherd, I can only hope that crown is a euphemism

BTW I think Dean would love that “filthy lucre” line. Or feel betrayed that it came from the bible

And then, finally, there’s the Song of Solomon itself

Song of Solomon 1:7-8 “Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thy maketh thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions?” 8 “If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds’ tents.”

Song of Solomon 4:2 “Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them.” (repeated in SS 6:6)

So anyway, Tldr: sheep could easily mean followers, chosen, or sacrifices, or be a reference to any one of these passages. Who knows.

@mittensmorgul, @tinkdw, @elizabethrobertajones, @postmodernmulticoloredcloak

#spn 13x02 #the rising son #my spn meta #spn season 13 spec #religious imagery #this is the longest. it's so long im sorry

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stevejehovahbible · 7 years

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Genesis 14

1 And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations; 2 That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar. 3 All these were joined together in the vale of Siddim, which is the salt sea. 4 Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.

5 And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emims in Shaveh Kiriathaim,

6 And the Horites in their mount Seir, unto El–paran, which is by the wilderness. 7 And they returned, and came to En–mishpat, which is Kadesh, and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazezon–tamar. 8 And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (the same is Zoar;) and they joined battle with them in the vale of Siddim; 9 With Chedorlaomer the king of Elam, and with Tidal king of nations, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings with five. 10 And the vale of Siddim was full of slimepits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and fell there; and they that remained fled to the mountain. 11 And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way. Just when you thought the Bible couldn’t get any more Middle-Earthy Dungeons and Dragons, we come to a rousing tale straight out of something from JRR Tolkien. A bunch of armies coming together to do battle, with the most anti-climactic ending you could ask for. The kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fell into a slime pit, which apparently meant that their men could no longer fight and they had to give up. The rules were very clear. No fighting with dirty armor. Let’s also take a moment to notice that the Amalekites are mentioned here, even though they don’t exist yet. The person for which they are named isn’t even born until Genesis 36. So that’s fun. I’m also going to say, I love the word “victuals”. Let’s use that more. 12 And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed. Everyone else: no big deal. Who cares? But Lot is captured, and his goods are stolen? Oh, it’s on bro. 13 And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram. Fun trivia here for anyone who doesn’t know: this is the first use of the title “Hebrew” in the bible. People commonly incorrectly equate it with Judaism, but actually it just means “descended from Eber”. *The More You Know!* 14 And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan. 15 And he divided himself against them, he and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus. 16 And he brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people. His 318 personal trained servants (which, seriously, screw this guy! No one needs that many servants. That’s disgusting) defeated four ENTIRE armies. With NO explanation! How big were these armies? Is Abram such a big shot that he has more slaves than the combined armies of four separate cities? That are better trained? You’d think that even if he had more people, he’d still be at a disadvantage because his men are not professional fighters. But the Bible doesn’t care about any of that. 17 And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king's dale. 18 And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God. 19 And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth: 20 And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all. 21 And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself. The king got out of the slime pit and managed to clean off his armor. So he goes to meat Abram, and brings a priest/king that has bread and wine (Jesus foreshadowing you guys!) who’s name literally means “righteous king”. Now, there’s no biographical or genealogical information available for this ruler, which is weird because he’s treated with reverence by Abram AND the king of Sodom in this story. It is pretty Jesus-y to have very little accurate information surrounding your life though, so.... yeah. Anyway, magic priest king man is all like: “Congrats on being rich and being able to compel over 300 people to fight for you. It’s amazing how rich you are, and how much god favors you and your richness. Just so you know, that had nothing to do with it though. God made you win. Because God Gody God God Jesus God. Reasons reasons, Jesus God reasons. Give me the slaves, and you can keep all the other stuff.” 22 And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the Lord, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth, 23 That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich: 24 Save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their portion. So Abram needs to show off how much he loves God to the magic priest king man, so he tries to out-god him by being like: “ Hey Mr. King, you’re right. I am rich. But not because of YOU. God made me so rich that I don’t need any of this stuff. In fact, I’m so crazy stinking rich from God Jesus Magic that you can keep all of this stuff, AND the slaves. You can’t rub any of them in my face. I made my own money by whoring my wife out in Egypt, so I don’t need your charity sir! Good day!” and then I picture him doing the Tim Tebow “Yay God” touchdown kneel in celebration.

#Steve Jehovah #bible #bible study #logic #atheism #newer testament #god #religion

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