#oh hell yeah this is so cool

[mccromy]

In regards to why Yue Qingyuan is like that when it comes to Shen Jiu, I have some thoughts.

To begin with, I always interpreted their relationship as purely platonic/familial (though perhaps with potential to turn into something else had things been different. I think their personalities are compatible in that way.)

Because of that, I empathize with Yue Qingyuan from my place as the oldest sibling, and because of it I think I can understand him when it comes to his behavior regarding Shen Qingqiu. (Because of that, I admit I'm not objective, so don't take this as a serious analysis and just my thoughts)

And for this I feel that Yue Qingyuan, more than allowing Shen Qingqiu to do what he pleases because he feels guilty, feels responsible for Shen Qingqiu's actions. He doesn't let Shen Qingqiu abuse his disciples, be hostile towards their fellow peak lords, and "engage in debauchery" just because he doesn't want to further strain their relationship, but because all of this is his fault.

When Shen Yuan first transmigrated and Yue Qingyuan asked him to stop punishing Luo Binghe, it didn't feel like he was making an attempt to stop Shen Qingqiu from further abusing the boy, but like the admonishment of an older sibling telling their little brother to stop acting a certain way. A "why are you doing this? You are not getting anything out of it, there's no reason for this other than you being cruel, stop it." Had Yue Qingyuan been making an attempt to stop him from harming his disciple, he would've actually put an end to it. He's the sect leader, he could just take Luo Binghe to another peak if not outright order Shen Qingqiu to stop.

There was a time my younger sister started bullying a classmate, she didn't see it as such, and I know she's not purposely cruel but she was young and thoughtless. In that situation I didn't take the other kid's side and reprimanded her harshly, yelled at her for being mean, ordered her to stop. I asked her why she did that (boy was annoying/everybody else was doing it too (and so it couldn't be wrong)) and told her that what she was doing was cruel, that everybody was being cruel to that boy, explained to her how bullying works, asked her how would she feel if she was annoying and everybody made fun of her, and asked her if she wanted to be a bully.

Yue Qingyuan said something along the lines of ''that boy hasn't done anything wrong, he tries so hard, aren't you tired? Hasn't it been enough?" He didn't take Luo Binghe's side like he should have, but he appealed to Shen Qingqiu's logic. He knew Shen Qingqiu and had an idea of why he was doing it, and addressed it calmly, tried to convince him to stop because there was no point, he was only making himself angry. He wasn't assertive either, only coaxing, because he also felt all of this was his fault. And not only that;

I believe Yue Qingyuan genuinely loved Shen Qingqiu, but he didn't like him anymore, and he felt terrible for it. He cared so much for him, yes, Shen Qingqiu was the only person he actually cared about and he couldn't be objective when it came to Shen Qingqiu. But he was constantly exasperated by him, he was so disappointed, and he knew he could like him again if Shen Qingqiu just stopped acting so caustically. But what right did he have to dislike Shen Qingqiu after how he failed him? If Shen Qingqiu acted like this it was because he was hurt, and whose fault was that?

Love and like do not always go hand in hand.

Think about a parent, a friend, a sibling, an aunt or an uncle. Someone you loved so much as a child and who was good to you. Someone who gave you gifts and played with you and heard you ramble and rant for hours, who defended you from others, who always had a smile for you. Now think about the time you realized they were a bigot, or that they yell to waiters, are cruel to animals. That they hit their partners or their children. You felt disappointed (and even betrayed) but you still loved them, you just didn't like them anymore, and you could no longer trust them, but if something happened to them, you'd be inconsolable. And you just know that if they just stopped you would like them again, you'd be so proud, you'd be so happy. In many cases like this what actually happens is that people feel guilty for loving someone so awful. In Yue Qingyuan's case, he felt guilty for not liking him.

Shen Jiu was not a good man, but he was hurt and the world had never been kind to him, so Yue Qingyuan took it upon himself to be unconditionally kind to him (even if he didn't realize that the way he chose to be kind also hurt Shen Qingqiu) and Yue Qingyuan was also the reason why Shen Qingqiu was so hurt, if Shen Qingqiu was cruel or violent, the blame fell on Yue Qingyuan's shoulders. How could he even dare to side eye Shen Qingqiu for how he behaved, when he wouldn't be like this if it weren't for Yue Qingyuan?

Yue Qingyuan's guilt doesn't come solely from not getting Shen Qingqiu out of Qiu manor, but from every single consequence that followed his failure. He's at fault for any and all of Shen Qingqiu's sins. He is also the only person who will ever be good to Shen Qingqiu, who knows he isn't the monster he made himself to be. He has no right to be disappointed in Shen Qingqiu's actions because they are his fault, he would never dare impose his own will above Shen Jiu's because hasn't Shen Jiu been subjected enough to the whims of others? he will never use his authority to stop him, he's the only ally Shen Jiu has, and he's also the only person in the whole sect with power over Shen Qingqiu, not only because of his position as sect leader, but because of how well he knows Shen Qingqiu, his secrets, his past and weaknesses. This puts him in a position to hurt Shen Qingqiu in ways no other could, to damage beyond what any other would be able to.

Yue Qingyuan's regrets are way more complex than what people make them out to be. Yue Qingyuan is aware that his silence about the fact that he did come back but was too late wounds Shen Qingqiu deeply, and the longer he doesn't explain himself the more Shen Qingqiu hurts. But this is also the only way he has of punishing himself, and he also feels guilty about it.

Imagine how he must see his own situation, Yue Qingyuan is respected and well liked, rich and powerful, he will never have to submit to other's wishes, he is free, untouchable, his brother is alive and healthy and close by. He has it all and more than he ever dreamed of, and deserves none of it, how could he ever allow himself to be forgiven? When in the end he's the person who has hurt Shen Jiu the most.

There are more reasons why he keeps quiet about the Linxi caves, most stem from trauma, and I believe his own need for punishment is one of them.

So when I see his behavior being reduced to ''he doesn't want for sqq to hate him more'' or ''he's just ashamed and guilty'' I feel sad because, Shen Jiu might be the most misunderstood character by other characters in the story. But Yue Qingyuan is the most misunderstood character by the fandom.

#yqy loving hours continue #Yue Qingyuan #svsss #yqy #mip #i was like. if my sister acted like that and I had the same baggage as yqy. would i act any different? 🤔 #and the answer was: I don't think so #a consequence of shen jiu being so mischaracterized by fandom is that people mischaracterize everybody else as well tbh #''if Shen Jiu did nothing wrong but everybody acts like he did then everybody else must be wrong!'' ma'am he did some things wrong #the whole plot of pidw stems from the things he did wrong #did he do everything he was accused of? nope. did he do some of those things tho? oh hell yeah #not a huge fan of the whipping kids thing. but killing his abuser and burning down a manor was so cool of him. based

[51-queer-frogs]

#i wanna leave the image alone #which means alll my thoughts are in tags #:P #idunno #ive had this idea for a while now #and #ug #yeah i got it out #also note to self #fuck tropical shirts #never again #No #longest part #also #yes this is based of the 50 pound of butter giant crab post #or at least that's where the top image comes from #uhhh #oh! #valintin was based as hell about flannel #so yoink #nor's a bit more solid here to fit in with the styly #which! #lineless #i don't normally do that but #well i did jenny like it by accident and here we are #norm's supossed to be personified guy mc dude #so #he's boring #i'll do a good cool desing at some point but ehhh #opn fanart

[astral-schools]

proper ref now that orion finally has a permanent fit :] some fun facts below the cut

he's ambidexterous!

while Millie is the pet he brings to fights and such, he also has a whole collection of pet octopuses who stay at home

no seriously there's zero relation to grandmother raven, his wings were a gift from artemis. he needs to spend time around stars to be able to fly-- if he spends too long indoors/underground or in a world with permanent cloud cover they're basically useless

his freckles glow :]

sometimes he does artemis's job when she's busy with beastmoon, and uses his brush to paint the night sky

in terms of biological age, he's the oldest of my wizards! technically not immortal but he does age MUCH slower than the average human.

he keeps his hood/mask down most of the time, only putting it up when he's going to be flying for a long time. it gets cold up there!

#w101 #w101 fandom #wizard101 #wizard101 fandom #w101 oc #wizard101 oc #sal art #oc: orion #he is very dear to me <3 <3 he was my first guy #i have literally no idea where i got the artists armaments i dont even remember what event they were from #but im so glad i own them its such a cool wand #a little under halfway through lemuria with him #which is wild considering he spent about uhhhhhhhhhh ten years hard stuck in celestia #also find it really funny im using the hawkrider gear to stitch considering i originally got it aaages ago #i dont even have the mount anymore #or the weapon. or the hat for this gear set #i lost them at some point i have no idea how 😭😭😭 #its such a serve tho. and the darkmoor hood works so well!!! #oh yeah his wings are HEAVILY simplified here #theyre meant to look more like the in game raven wings. more stars and some color variety. i was just lazy as hell <3

[coconut530]

SERIOUSLY!? RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY PUMPKIN BREAD TRIFLE PT. 2

#Nevermore #Nevermore Webtoon #Webtoon #WOOOOOOOOOOOOO GO DUKE #HE OWNED THIS WHOLE EPISODE #FIRST OFF I LOVE HOW HIS TELEKINESIS LOOKS LIKE WATER IT’S SO ACCURATE TO HIS DEATH AND EVERYTHING #HA TAKING YOUR MACHETE IDIOT AND CUTTING YOU ON THE CHEST #INVISIBILITYYYYYY LET'S GO IT'S ALL PART OF THE DAMN TRICK #I LOVE HOW DUKE HIMSELF HATES SURPRISES BUT HE RELISHES THE CHANCE TO SURPRISE OTHERS #GAHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOK AT HIM AND HIS JESTER HAT AND TURQUOISE PURPLE BLUE AESTHETIC I CAN'T IT LOOKS SO FRICKIN' COOL #HIS EYES ARE SO ENCHANTING LIKE POLTERGEIST?!?! A NEUTRAL?!?! LEVITATION INVISIBILITY HYPNOSIS?!?!?!? #GOD LOOK AT HIS SMIRK I CAN'T I'M TOTALLY GOING TO REDRAW IT HE'S SO SWAG #GIVE 'IM HELL FRICK YEAH DUKE GO FOR IT HIS LITTLE WINK I CAN'TTTTTTTTT #GET ROASTED ADA YOU CAN'T SAVE HIM NOW #WOW DUKE IS JUST DANCING CIRCLES AROUND THIS GUY WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THAT TALK MONTRESOR HAHAH #HIT WITH A BRICK SLASHED IN THE SIDE SMACKED IN THE FACE ALL BEFORE BREAKFAST #“LET ME GET A LOOK AT YOU” DUKE YOU'RE SO COOL I CAN'T #“HOW QUICKLY THE TIDES CAN TURN” NOW FORTUNATO'S COMING BACK TO BITE YOU UNLIKE THE SHORT STORY NOW HUH HAHAHAHAHHAH #BOTH DUKE AND MONTRESOR'S EXPRESSIONS HERE ARE SO GOOD AND WICKED LIKE COME ON #OH STOP IT WITH YOUR FAKE SYMPATHY IT'S FRICKIN' FAKE #DUKE'S EYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS ARE SO DANG PRETTY #GET HIM DUKE GET HIMMMMMMMMMMMM #LOVED THIS EPISODE ONE OF THE BEST MANIFESTING EPISODES EVER -THANKS- REDNFLYNN FOR -GIVING- THIS TO US ON THANKSGIVING #REALLY LOVED IT I WILL HAVE REDRAWS SOON AND A SMALL ANIMATION NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HIS SPECTRE LOOKS LIKE SO STAY TUNEDDDDDDDD

[iknaenmal]

jade harley outfits that are terribly underappreciated

#and the dead shuffle as well but that might be because the skirt is HELL to draw #like !! eclecticas dress + squiddlejacket and squiddlesneaks are SO awesome #but the iron lass one is also sooo cool #look at bec. hes shining. whats not to love #and dont forget that it comes with super strength #anyways. drops mic #ikna talks #OH YEAH ALSO its not underappreciated but shout out to the three in the morning dress #its really important to prove that dave and jade friendship is true and real #also its really pretty #hm. homestuck has def done something to me i literally couldnt care less about clothes. whats happening

[kimbapisnotsushi]

sometimes a family is a twenty-year-old college student anxious about how to properly adult, an emotionally-stunted serious high school jock, a nineteen-year-old art major who lives by "live laugh love", and a twenty-seven-year-old office employee with an absolutely shitty memory

#IS THIS PROMO FOR COOL DOJI DANSHI #HELL YEAH IT IS #I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA #I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD #can't wait for igarashi to get in here #cool doji danshi #play it cool guys #ichikura hayate #futami shun #mima takayuki #shiki souma

[oceanwithouthermoon]

hi i NEED to know more abt your mermaid au (if you dont mind u.u)

HIIIII THANK U FOR ASKINGGHGG

so basically in this au, everything is prettyyy much the same except that aren is a merman..

after his meeting with kusuo, it becomes painfully obvious that kusuo doesnt belong there but aren still thinks hes just a cool foreign mermaid.. but he keeps asking so many questions about where hes from and kusuo is already in so much shock he cant keep up the act anymore and tells him hes from the land.. (he probably couldve just told him to leave him alone, but truth be told he had a hot merman right in front of him and he literally just found out mermaids exist ??? so why would he do that)

so after learning kusuos secret (which wasnt explained in full, he really just said he has powers and aren thinks its some sort of secret human magic) he begs him to give him human legs, and kusuo has to explain that he cant use his shapeshifting ability on other people, and the only similar thing is hypnosis, which wouldnt work.. SO kuboyasu introduces him to mermaid magic !! which isnt all that powerful at all.. they just have certain minor spells, charms, and incantations that can have small effects.. so they work together and find a way to make his shapeshifting ability work on kuboyasu!! maybe its a thing similar to saikis limiters, but its like a pendant or a pair of earrings infused with a combination of magic+kusuos powers+technology

and soooooo he transfers to PK!! (with kusuos genius+mind control, its easy to cook up a fake ID+birth certificate and all) and everything else is pretty much the same, including even how kusuo attempts to ignore him at school at first+then spies on him without his knowledge.. but theyre also secretly romancing each other outside of school hours in the literal ocean..

it definitely took a while for kusuo to trust him enough to take him on land btw so they also spent a lot of time in arens home but i havent put much thought into what/where exactly that is or about his family and mermaid friends and such..

either way, even when he trusts him, aren still messes up and almost spills various secrets a lot lmao.. it shouldn't be that hard because hes been told his whole life that humans were dangerous because they couldnt handle things they didnt understand (like.. magic) but somehow he still manages to slip up many times on BOTH of their secrets (good thing their friends are DUMB)

"so aren, where do you live??" "in the sea-" gets elbowed by kusuo "sea.. outh.. district??" "huh??"

#kubosai mermaids!!! #hell yeah!! #i havent decided if aren was still in a gang or not or if hes just naturally aggressive #but mermaid gang would be really cool lmao #maybe thats part of why he wants to escape the ocean so bad #for the fresh start hes been looking for #omg imagine that he WAS in a gang and they use that as a cover up to why they act weird and secretive #sinceee it isnt teeechnically a lie #'i know your secret..' 'what?!?' 'that you used to be in a gang..' 'oh! oh that..' #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #kusuo saiki #saiki kusuo #aren kuboyasu #kuboyasu aren #kubosai #meows post

[marc--chilton]

(mgv) OAUUGHHH lawrence and adam rooming together out of the hospital because it's made VERY CLEAR that they need each other close and safe after the trap. like @lucradiss said, they had to be moved into the same room because even after the smell of blood and shit and fear were cleaned off of them, their distress scent -- raw and unfiltered "NEED, COME BACK, DON'T LEAVE, WHERE ARE YOU, NEED YOU" -- was palpable enough to send their respective floors into a state of unease. and adam's being evicted, and tensions are high between lawrence and alison right now, so....

their new place doesn't scream "doctor's salary" but it's not a shithole either. one floor, too. at first they're in separate rooms but..... lawrence hasn't slept alone in years, and not having adam as close as possible still gives him some unease (if he can't see him how can he be sure he ever came back for him, got him out of there, let him live). he doesn't even get a chance to wheel by adam's room before the man himself is slipping into his. "keep seein' shit in the shadows. think i gotta take the door off my closet."

lawrence grants him half his bed easily. he also learns fairly quickly that adam is a funny sleeper. he burrows and squirms relentlessly in his sleep until he's nearly sideways with his head on lawrence's ribs. one time he woke up to adam sprawled bonelessly across his middle, slightly crushing him but mostly just endearing himself to lawrence.

the point of no return for Feeling Something More for adam was when diana stayed for the weekend. they hit it off well in the hospital already, so he wasn't worried about that. no, it was simply how much adam worried about making her feel safe there, because it might be her dad's place, but her dad has a roommate now and they didn't meet under fantastic circumstances. he doesn't want her to see him like zep, like some stranger in a home that isn't his.

(it is his home, though.)

he's trying so hard for this eight year old who's been through some shit, he wants her to like him, to be okay with him being there, and it chokes lawrence up if he thinks about it too hard. it feels a lot like a binding point between his old life and his new one. he loves them. he loves him.

diana learns what a 'pup pile' is that night. she has no siblings to pile up with, so she never got to learn, which just Isn't Right in adam's eyes. so that night adam stuffs them into their bed with the pillows and blankets from his old room they'll convert to be diana's, says, "three's not much a pile, but we'll work with what we got, right?" and hustles them into something comfortable, twined and piled on each other.

and if lawrence cries a few happy tears that night, well, he's allowed some by now, isn't he?

#saw #chainshipping #LUCAAAA YOUR TAGS GOT ME THINKINGGG #lawrence and alison probably were bondmates before but over time as the passion died it just faded #and they never got it back enough to renew the bites #and then adam starts being nervously domestic when diana comes around #even when adam starts being a bad influence (term used loosely) lawrence is like Wow #lawrence also isn't an alpha who can purr but if he could it wouldn't take much to get him going with adam around #smitten. that's the word. smitten with him #best part is that when adam is with diana he doesn't even realize he's showing desirable traits #alison's a FANTASTIC mother but she's a little detached from her instincts #(she strikes me as the type who doesn't like the whole sort of primal thing that comes with being in mgv) #(maybe she'd be a beta then idk!! that might be cool actually) #so when adam gets to teach diana something she doesn't know regarding them he gets jazzed #“oh hell yeah i can deal with this!” (displays traits incredibly attractive to prospective mates) #lawrence never stood a chance and that is my decree #mgv

[hauntingblue]

making a collection

making another collection with a threatening aura

#davy back fightbpart 3 letsgo #HOW do the three big guns get wasted on the eating contest... horrible plan.... luffy is fine bc well... but not sanji and zoro like damn. #luffy DOESNT WANNA EAT??? CALL THE NAVY!!!! #what was i saying.... bad idea putting the three beasts there #FRANKY FRANKY FRANKY!!!! they captured the two princesses :( #one sided beef squashed between luffy and foxy. friendship ended with random ex marine guy. now luffy is my best friend #usopp and franky bonding time hell yeah. throw usopp by the head once more pelase #nami with zoros swords just like holding them looks so cool like she should get a few swords too... nami three sword style oda drawing pls #i think this man underestimates nami and luffys power together he doesnt know about shiki #luffy saying he knows its a trap and sorry for being late.... lets go on an adventure all nine of us.... usopp yes anding his lie..... omg #cant believe nami isnt there yet. she could take this guy. oh there she is!!!!! she does look cool with the swords and jumping to get luffy #zoro screaming in agony from luffy getting shot omg THIS FUCKING GUY OF COURSE!!! this looks like its so over #zoro and sanji must feel so useless rn. they didnt even get the chance to fight like damn #komei-kakka??? more like come caca. boom #luffy face down dead on the floor akdjkaa chopper have you tried looking at the wound to see if it harmed him idk #it hit the face akdjskn usopp that was coom also #was robin flirting with the other guy and zoro caught her and she told hum to shut up??? #'your friends got the best of me but you are still in my arms an-' 'HEAT EGG!! ALSO YOU'RE ON FIRE!' #flare maneauver that was so slay also luffy and nami in the same frame so twins of them. my children. birthed them one right after the othe #zoro and sanji fighting back to back. back to back to back to you i dont wanna fall right back to us maybe you should run right back to her #that is such a bop song. also post wano zosan. and post wci. see the recurrent theme #fighting in water.... being on top of the sword that was a slay... red hawk ace i will never forget you it seems #foxy liking his jolly roger omg nami fooled him ahdhsjs i think they should have pirate game event every year they yearn for contests #now since this experience foxy should make monthly multitudinary pirate games olympics hoping the strawhats join them a la gatsby #the faces at the mushroom akdhaksjs #talking tag #watching one piece #watching one piece movies #kinda loved how robin betted on franky against usopp.... i will take the crumbs

[scopophobia-polaris]

the way your ww link and oot link interacted in that comic is non to me. couldn't even kill ganon lewser

Oh my god I forgot to post this because I wanted to draw something for it but I don't remmeber now and YEAH TIMIE IS A LOSER but they were also 9

#pua'a is a troublemaker but honestly thinks Timie is kinda cool once they get to know them #honesyly Timie would probbaly like them as just OH YOURE FUNNY #AND YOURE A PIRATE? #YOU JUST DID ALL OF THAT? #YOU CAPTAIN A BIGASS BOAT TELL ME MORE!!! #pua'a probably having the best time boasting to this dude being like hell yeah im first mate on the boat and i speak for the captain when #she cant do so im very important #pua'a is not first mate #hes barely the swabbie #hes lower then Niko #hes not about to tell that to timie lest this dude thinks he not cool #timie wouldnt mind though being a pirate of any rank sounds very cool regardless

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

#CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO ADD “I AM SALLY JACKSONS SON” #percy jackson #IS TRENDING #HELL YEAH #in my annabeth stan era #oh my god leah plays her so cool shes SO COOL AND SO LAYERED AND MY FAV #walker is adorable hes so LITTLE GUY HES MY CHILD HES MY SON #ARYAN. ARYAN. ARYAN. #pjo <3

[front-facing-pokemon]

#again not QUITE sure what counts as front-facing here? i could've chosen like three different angles for this one #i might actually go grab those and add them as bonuses. yeah sure why not #bonus angles under the cut bc what not #clamperl #who else forgot this pokémon exiiiiists! me. i did. does it even evolve? is this pokémon relevant for *anything*? #i guess it has two different evolutions. better not be a gender thing i swear #oh hell it's a trade evolution. arguably worse. and it just depends on the item it's holding. that's boring as hell and also trade evos suck #booooo we hate trade evolutions. legends arceus did it way betterrrrr. UGH! this pokémon is IRRELEVANT #i don't mean to be mean i'm sorry clamperl fans and also clamperl reading this. if you are either of the above then i am sorry #but this is sort of my reminder that this pokémon exists. I GUESS i'm a land creature and so i don't think about water pokémon that often #y'all got a whole ecosystem down there i *guess*. kinda cool ngl #i should come visit some time

[doodleodds]

July random art dump!

#first art dump in a while lol. hi y’all :) #me? posting at a regular hour? never. 2:24 am or bust #in other fun and exciting news: recently got myself an iPad to see if it would inspire me to draw more often! so that’s been cool #and yeah! kinda! I still prefer the computer obviously but it DID give me the will to animate for the first time in ages! #and like. me? actually DRAWING my own ocs??? more likely than you'd think nowadays! lol #(this post featuring a yiga oc based on a dream i had based on the crit role zelda campaign; a mermaid shopkeep from my own campaign; #a spidersona; and an oc who's slowly become more bitter as i too slowly grow more disillusioned with life!) #anyway thanks for stopping by! hope yall have been well since we last spoke :) have a lovely rest of your day/night! #also oh my GOD i hate this new post editor. holy shit. what fresh hell is this #and to be safe: #tw: flashing #tw flashing #flashing

[skrunksthatwunk]

went back to the sketchbooks around when i was going through yyh for the first time in 2019 and found a pile of near-yearly sticky note updates about my relationship with the series next to my first yyh doodles, a page full of kuwabaras. thought it'd be fun to share

+ more thoughts and old yyh art below

(it's crazy i didn't find any kurama-centric pages for months bc i think he's the one i doodled in the margins of class notes and stuff the most. his hair's pwetty and he gives me the least trouble outta any of the main 4)

something i noticed while skimming the two sketchbooks i took these from was how mean i was to myself at the time about my art. i guess it hit me more because i don't really spend hours going through my old sketchbooks over and over to track my progress and growth like i used to quite often. i guess it was only a little after when my self esteem was lowest (8th grade, tale as old as time), but... idk. i knew back then that i'd grown a lot in the few years since i started drawing more seriously (that's why i looked through my art so much), but like... i guess that never translated into being nice to myself about it. i ended up going back through about ten more sketchbooks to find more yyh art, and in the coming years i'm glad to say that negativity in the margins went away. hell yeah

but even so, my love for yyh was a constant and effusive thing, as it is now. it's probably the oldest of my current media interests. i watched myself get into rgg and develop my ocs and watched others fade in and out, watched my style loop back on itself and go all over the place, passed by pages of writing about crushes and album releases and gender discoveries and my grandparents dying, all surrounded by little drawings of the characters i love. including kuwabara in a maid dress right next to my dead grandma grief rambling that one time (no i'm not kidding. my grandma died in like late 2020 and the page where i poured my heart out after finding out she was gone just trying to process everything had one with catboy maid dress kuwabara directly opposite it, who i'd drawn like the evening before she died in her sleep. he killed my grandma from like 100 miles away he was that powerful. that wasn't even the last time i drew him like that and i don't even care about catboys or maid dresses much. i think it was just a bigger meme and he was the guy i most associated with cats. i put that man in a situation and he fucking got her because the book couldn't contain him. some victor frankenstein shit. anyway)

i took about 150 pictures, most with multiple sketches. i decided not to add any more though bc 1) i posted some of them on old accounts but i don't remember which ones, and tbh i value my anonymity a little too much 2) All Of The Pictures Turned Out Bad in ways i don't feel like getting into but just trust me it's like 6 layers of fucked up illegible image bullshit 3) i found it hard to narrow it down to things i felt were indicative of the development or interesting or anything like that. idk. i figured it was an interesting exercise for me and it probably wouldn't really mean anything to anyone else. and that's ok :) it was nice anyway. i mostly mention it to be like Oh My God i've drawn these guys a lot and i STILL don't know what i'm doing... :| it's fun

however i did transcribe the notes i left:

7/9/19: yo it's been less than a week & i'm on ep. 80 wtf i love this show

8/14/20: 1/2way thru my 3rd watch (first dub, first [with older sibling]) & honestly still love it & kuwabara being the first one i drew makes me happy

7/28/21: i'm watching it w/ [younger sibling] now! 4th(ish) watch, 2nd time through the dub, which is so much better than the sub really elevates the text. we're at the semifinals of the DT, which means this is technically my 5th time through yyh up until that point but eh semantics anyway i still love & obsess over yyh! <3

1/14/24 (present day): hey, i'm rewatching yyh for the.. idk 5th or 6th time. still love it & never stopped. now i'm writing fic & drawing & posting about it. i have friends i talk to about it. [both siblings] have seen it. so much has changed, and so little, but it made me sad seeing how much i insulted my own art. i love you 2019 me. god knows you needed it

[+ this drawing]:

anyway. forever fornever. if you even care

#that's all. just kind of a personal post i thought was neat. skrunklore #skrunkart #yyh #yu yu hakusho #you can really feel the 14 y/o in a lot of the little notes and stuff but that too is part of the growth and change im trying to celebrate. #ripping my fingernails off about it but it needs to be done #also the hearts are because they love each other. and also me in like a cheering you on kinda way #ok more lore but around jr year i started feeling like my art was getting worse or at least stagnating and i kind of wished i could go back #to the era where a lot of that art is from bc there were little things i was better at and also bc i was much more prolific and adventurous #and while i'm sympathetic to it looking back after another couple of years it's like nah. no i was still growing i was just too close to se #like i'll be like oughh i haven't grown at all in years >:(( and then i'll look at the art i made over the course of 2023 and go oh nvm lol #some of it was more 'getting back into the swing of things' + traditional and tech issues being resolved but there was also growth #there is also stuff to be proud of and there always is and there always will be. that goes for you too reader #no matter what your art does or does not look like. i guess that's part of why im posting this too #part of what got me into visual art was seeing how people's art changed (sketchbook tours). it's cool and seeing that learning process so #well preserved and so easily analyzed kinda activated something in my brain. i think it got me past a lot of the 'im just not talented' #stuff a lotta ppl have that keeps them from drawing or sharing it or whatever. anyway art's cool i love art. gonna go draw now probably :D #ALSO really funny watching the way i drew myself change. all in ways that make sense but still funny to me. long hair glasses girl you'd #probably keel over if you saw what we look like now. hell yeah

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Good morning I had a dream that for some reason, Fazbear decided to give Roxy therapy. She never spoke during their sessions except to insult the therapist, but the therapist felt like they were finally making progress when shit happened and Roxy shut down all conversation. What happened? I think it was the team going and dying to the Mimic but it could have been something else it was only mentioned after a time skip.

Weirdly though, the therapist assumed she'd gone silent again because of an altercation with Freddy. So they called Freddy and Monty in (maybe Chica too) and tried to convince Freddy to stick around for a session with Roxy who isn't there at the moment. Freddy was just pissed off that he's being expected to apologise for shit he hasn't done and Monty was there trying to convince him that it's not that bad what's his problem man

EXCEPT Roxy has left. She fucked off. Left the Plex and is now wandering the outside world. The others are in a panic looking for her, and find her standing outside of a hospital. I think it was a children's one specifically but I don't remember. She'd been entertaining a lil bit but she's just kinda silently stood there with a blanket around her and a hot chocolate looking at it. For some reason when they're trying to talk to her, Chica says she knows why she came here and it's because she thinks she's better off dead, which is when my brain quickly adds a morgue to this location lmao anyway

Roxy leaves them again cause she doesn't want to talk. She explores on her own, finding Foxy, an old friend presumably from the last times she's snuck out. She cries, happy to see him and he tells her everything is gonna be okay while he hugs her, then takes her back to this tall tree building. She asks to stay with him and he's hesitant cause where he lives is some kind of... I guess a strip club? Kind of? Wasn't graphic or anything but my brain supplied that sex happens there and that's why she wouldn't want to stay. Vaguely saw poles for dancers but it's literally inside a cool tree thing so it was super out of place. Also Tails from Sonic is there with Balloon Boy. This place has the aesthetic of a rainforest cafe btw.

They go up onto the roof where some turtle looking guy that's really long acts as the spiral staircase or slide I guess for the building is talking to them. They ask if she wants to hang out and ride the stair/slide thing down to the ground floor and she cries cause she doesn't want to stay here. The turtle also gets sad cause he likes when they play on the slide that makes up it's body I guess.

The manager joins them and is talking like she's going to stay, goes to grab her tail I think and she fuckin' bails. Foxy goes with her, but a clay looking Bonnie (like from the JRs games but a bit bigger than Foxy) chases after them. Foxy isn't sure he wants to leave his friends but does in order to protect Roxy, and leads Bonnie away from her.

He leads him into a small, cluttered, basement storage place that's kind of like a cavern, with a chain link fence blocking off an underground river with giant, plush Bonnie's that are groaning as if they're alive and all look dead on the rocks. Bonnie catches him but is like. On the floor or something in an almost Family Guy deathpose way for some reason and Foxy convinces him to let go so he can leave. He runs after Roxy, feeling guilty for what he's done and what he's leaving behind and catches up to her with Balloon Boy here now I guess. Roxy cries again for some reason and then I woke up

The Plex she left also didn't look like the Plex at all btw. I switched between Roxy's POV, a third person POV while Freddy and Monty were with the therapist, back to Roxy's POV and then Foxy's when he lures Bonnie away. I don't remember all the reasons Roxy was crying, I think she was internally wanting to go home but just not saying it but then just never went home. And Freddy was comically angry for some reason???

Oh and Roxy was swapped for Blaze the Cat for a bit of the conversation with the club manager, but then was swapped back to Roxy again after. I think this was third person POV and the manager pinched her leg? And it kicked off from there? I said grabbing her tail cause he might have been but I don't remember. Aside from that one action, he was a decent sounding guy though. Then he just did that and I lost all care for him lmao

Anyway. That was fun. A wild situation!

#pop rox talks #god imagine fazbear giving roxy an ACTUAL therapist #like wow i wouldn't have expected that lmao #foxy in a fucking strip club playing on a turtle themed slide with tails and balloon boy... #like oh yeah that's soooo sexy lmao djdjdjd #can you tell I'm ace as hell #my brain set it up as a club but it also wanted it to be cool and interesting to me i guess #so it ended up like that somehow ndjdjdk #anyway that's my fun dream for today!! #also they tried to calm freddy down with peanut butter and he refused it #monty just got a spoon and ate it himself as he was trying to call freddy down #for some reason i dunno man #weird #i LOVE dreams with a plot though #they're very fun #especially when i get to be the cahracters #I've had some amazing dream plots ngl #this one's a bit odd but hey whatever it's fun #BDJDBDIS WAIT A SEC #OH MY GOD CHICA REALLY LOOKED AT ROXY STARING FORLORNLY AT A CHILDRENS HOSPITAL #AND IMMEDIATELY SAID SHE WAS SUICIDAL???? WHAT????? HELLO????? #thats not the right word #she said EXACTLY 'I know why you came here. You feel like you're better off dead.' #like WHAT???? #BITCH SHE'S AT A HOSPITAL THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A HOSPITAL #WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT #YOU FORCED MY BRAIN TO STAPLE A SHITTY LOOKING MORGUE ONTO THE BACK OF A PRETTY WHITE AND RAINBOW BUIDLING #WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT????? #HUH???????? #maybe she doesn't know colour theory...

[frecklystars]

I love to imagine all of my Ryan F/Os sitting in a little room in my head and chilling out and hanging out with each other. Even the ones I haven't "met" yet (movies I haven't seen but will eventually)

You know that meme from the office "I love inside jokes. Would love to be a part of one someday"? Well it's Holland March and Jacob Palmer being impatient for me to finally enter their universe. "We love our girlfriend Keri. Would love to actually meet her someday"

#love notes #Holland tag TBA #💕♬♪ ♡ It feels different when you're with me - ̗̀☆🥂🖤✨☆ ̖́- #Ken saying to Colt 'COLT MY BRO you're SO SPECIAL' #'Keri must LOVE you since you're here in this room with us! you're her BF and she hasn't even been to ur dimension yet!!!!' #and Colt's like HAHA SO COOL BRO 👍 and Ken's like TOTALLY SO COOL 👍👍 #meanwhile Holland and Jacob are like WHERE IS MY GIRLFRIEND???? #I MISS MY WIFE I'VE NEVER MET????? WE KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS KERI GIRL #i like to think my F/Os feel connected to me/in love with me even before we meet. when they're in the room together #so they're like. i love her so much. but also i've never seen her face to face #i think holland is more patient tho he's just vibing. he's like wow free drinks and snacks in this room hell yeah bitch #or maybe he wouldnt say hell yeah bitch. sorry ive watched a lot of breaking bad im thinking of jesse #anyway jacob's checking his watch every 5 mins saying WHERE'S KERI? WHERE'S MY GIRL? MY STAR GIRL? #and ken is like :) she's been in my dimension 70 times bc im the most specialist boi. im her favorite everyone remember that #Driver and Luke and Six are all comparing their barcode tattoos #they're like wow we all have the same wrist tattoo. crazy random happenstance. #we also have similar voices and similar noses and eyes and height and build! #hahaha but let's not think about that too hard! :) #i have this scenario in my head where ken looks at colt #and he's like! oh god! keri's gonna forget all about me! look at THIS handsome guy! i cant compete!!!! #he looks like ryan gosling! #and then six turns to him and says quietly... 'ken we ALL look like ryan gosling'