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nerdyish · 1 year

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Book Review: Outlander - Diana Gabaldon

Published: 1991 Finished Reading: 29.12.2022 Star rating: ☆ ☆

Pffff…. Where to start. This is gunna be a long one.

This is my third attempt in about 7 years to read this book. This time round I finally managed to get through it all. And I’m so disappointed.

Trigger warnings: Rape…. A lot of it. Spoiler warnings: Loads. This is a rant.

Good Bits:

Other than the weird attempt at portraying a Scottish accent I thought the writing was entertaining, I enjoyed the pacing, it captured all the senses and did indeed transport me to another time. Between reading sessions, I found myself imagining a life in a rustic cottage in the Scottish Highlands, baking bread and gathering flowers, meeting a strong kilted man, wearing billowing gowns and wandering the countryside. Any book that can capture my imagination like that, making me see the world a bit softer and distracting me from the daily grind deserves some stars.

However…

Homophobia

In a really painful way. Not only was the main evil character gay in such a negative way, he used his homosexuality as a weapon… and also there was something about his brother… in some way? I think that’s what was happening. I don’t know, the editing/plot in the second half ended up getting me totally lost a few times.

The detail of Jamie’s eventual rape was a really intense difficult read, which was an issue in itself. But the fact that became so perverted and… insanely over the top… made it really unrealistic. I wanted to feel for Jamie when he was talking through it during his recovery, but it became a little bit laughable and awkward and just plain weird. The fact that the rape became more about Randall being gay, and less about him being a monster, felt so so so homophobic. And that was a recurring theme throughout the entire book and I hated it. It was such an awful and damaging perspective to take.

Gay people existed back then, that much was admitted in the book, but in Outlander it was in an evil terrorising way, not in the hidden, difficult, and judged way that it would have been. There was no sympathy for having to live a life like that? It just culminated in evil acts and terror?

This book could have been so much more. It could have actually explored the social differences between Claire’s time and Jamie’s time and talked about Claire’s shock of it? There was so much room to talk about how far things things has come since the 1700s. But the book never addressed any of it, at all. She was shocked by Jamie’s violence towards her for a total of about 5 minutes, then just moved on and accept society as it was.

Can I forgive this opinion because it was published in 1991? No.

Jamie

How can one man go through that much??? Like??? It ended up feeling so over the top and unrealistic. The man would be suffering from some severe PTSD after all the absolutely insane trauma he experienced. His entire personality was that he was a broken, young, strong, and might have been good in bed. A himbo. I need more than that in my romances, I need some complexity. Especially if we’re doing “rough”… there needs to be something morally grey about him. Not just written off as “oh things were different back then”.

It Got Weird In the Second Half

She suddenly found God in a really intense way?

She suddenly knew how to bring about really intense hallucinations using opium? Honestly that entire scene was so uncomfortable to read. I couldn’t really follow what was happening, was it a re-enactment? Somehow it involved her ‘other husband’ and Jamie was kind of making love to what he thought was his mother by the end?!

And why was there so much conversation about wombs and men wanting their mothers by the end? Where did that come from?!

She was absolved of sins – why are we even talking about sins anyway? That was not something she’d ever mentioned, she barely struggled with the decision for the previous 700 pages.

There was a really sexualised breastfeeding scene and a scene where they made love in front of a child and death by cows and a woman killing a wolf with her bare hands???

We were introduced to a new clan in the closing stages of the book? Why? And why were so many people in love with Jamie’s mum?

And is Randall actually dead? Is the reason why we didn’t get a Jamie/Claire/Randall stand off resulting in Randall’s death because he’s actually going to pop up again later? So he just got trampled by cows and is presumed dead so we’ll have a shock reveal and further confrontation later? Because if that’s the case, then I don’t care. I just don’t care.

Uninteresting Romance And Rape As Porn

What connects Claire and Jamie in anyway other than forced marriage, “good” sex, and constantly saving each other from villains? [I say good very lightly because I only actually personally enjoyed the very last sex scene … I’ve enjoyed way better smut by much worse writers.] All of their conversations seemed to be about his traumatic past, neither of them seemed to have a personality outside of that. Claire had more of a personality back when she was in the 1940s. They connect over him saving her, then her saving him through healing, and they have some sex, and then they talk about Jamie’s tortured past, and then that’s kind of it? They don’t talk about life or love or their interests outside of running from the law, it just didn’t feel real and I didn’t fall in love with Jamie at all.

I’m not going to talk too much about the marital rape, almost rape, actual rape, abuse etc, other reviewers have done it to death. I will just add that forced sex can be an interesting kink to explore in romance books, there can be good smut from it, but there has to still be a level of consent. Both from the MC, and from the reader’s perspective. You have to hear the MC want it to be that way, and enjoy it completely. That never happened. Maybe during the “punish you for running away” scene, there could have been a moment where Claire realised that this was actually kind of good, internally, so that the reader was aware that she started to enjoy it and wanted to explore that more? Or maybe when she was saying “no” out loud to Jamie in later scenes, we read internally that she was saying no, but didn’t actually mean no and was saying it because it felt kinda hot to do so? I don’t know, anything else really, just… not this.

The concept of forced sex in Outlander then bled into so many other facets of the book – the villains, the clan, the climax of the book etc – that at no point did it actually feel like a bit of a kink being explored through the female gaze, it simply felt like torture porn and I’m not actually down for that.

Frank Deserved Better

Honestly, while some people may love a sexy Scottish man who’s a bit of a brute and is broken from all his trauma, but very occasionally shows softness, and you may get your kicks from torture porn, I’d rather take the spontaneous but actually soft and kind Frank. Unless you’re all forgetting, he did randomly have sex with her in a field. That’s fun! And it was with… yes you guessed it… consent. He was tentative, and passionate about something other than sex, which in itself is sexy. And I do not doubt at all that if Claire asked for something a bit rougher in the bedroom on occasion, he would have done it, and enjoyed it himself. By making Randall look almost exactly like Frank, we end up not wanting to end up back with Frank. It’s character assassination in order to excuse the cheating that Claire did. And I hate character assassination to justify romance switches – i.e. Jacob/Edward, Tamlin/Rhysand. What’s funny about those examples though is that I actually love Twilight and ACOTAR, so Diana Gabaldon clearly messed something up here.

Claire

She is emotionless. She has next to no reaction to anything that happens to her, even some of the most traumatic moments. There is no internal monologue of any struggle or upset or confusion or hatred or fear, like, at all. Everything she does is so clinical and for the plot, it didn’t even ever feel like we got to understand her deep emotional connection with Jamie, she just decided she loved him and told us so, that was it.

Her decisions and actions also made no sense. She was an academic, with a background in nursing and horticulture, and thoroughly enjoyed her tour of Loch Ness. She was brought up by a travelling archaeologist surrounded by books and artifacts, and met Frank through those adventures. So… why did she hate listening to Frank talk about genealogy and Scottish folklore so much?!?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?! She screamed something crazy when she saw the chicken’s (??) blood at the beginning and was so so scared that a murder had taken place, but never once got spooked when out and about with a scottish clan in the 1740s?! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?! She’d just been through a very traumatic war as a nurse, and then willingly stayed to go through another one? Why? Because Jamie was kind and made her see the world differently?! Can’t be! Because that never happened. I DON’T GET IT?!

The “choice” moment that was built up for so long was not made clear, why did she actually choose Jamie?????? Like???? It was never made clear???? Was it just because she loved him so much more than Frank? And didn’t care at all for her previously life anymore? And wanted to be in the Highlands in the 1700s because it was a better life for her?!? Like??? What was the thing that actually made her stay??? It was never, ever, ever made clear, emotionally, why Claire wanted to be with Jamie or stay, never.

I just don’t get any of it. I loved the Scottish historical vibes, the fairies and folklore and mysterious henge, I enjoyed the Loch Ness monster being real, and the concept of elderly women in post-war Scotland still doing pagan rituals, and never really knowing whether Geilie was actually a witch, but I can get that from other books where the MC’s decisions make sense and where their entire plot isn’t based on how much torture their main characters can go through. And even if it is, is done with actual consequences and urgency and discussion. I do not understand why this book was so popular.

#books #reading #book review #book recap #outlander #diana gabaldon

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rainofaugustsith · 5 months

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Bad SWTOR choices

I accidentally reblogged and replied on a post I didn't mean to, but I did want to talk about this - how many times the LS/DS choices in SWTOR and particularly KOTFE and KOTET seem completely off base. Top four: The reactor in KOTFE chapter 3.

Okay, to recap: the Outlander has just been freed from carbonite, where they were slowly being poisoned to death. They are doing so poorly that Lana has to help them walk at some points. They are on a planet they know nothing about. There's a nuclear reactor Vaylin has ripped from its moorings, and the actual nuclear physicists who tend to the thing have given up on it. So of course it's perfectly reasonable to expect the half-dead Outlander to fix it, and to treat them like a monster if they make the sound decision to not try to learn nuclear physics in two seconds.

Better decision: give the Outlander a choice to try to help people evacuate and make that LS/DS. That would still fit with Koth's desire to help people and could still be used to influence his opinion of the Outlander, but would be more realistically and logically in line with what could be done. Since nobody knows what the Outlander looks like at this point it could also be used to create more conflict/nuance for Zakuulans. They've been told the Outlander is a monster but - this person who looks just like the Outlander saved them. Could Arcann be lying to them?

Senya in KOTET chapter 1.

So the planet of Voss is being bombed to pieces, and Senya doesn't give a single fuck about that. She just wants you to save her son, the dictator. Who has shown zero remorse and has literally run the Outlander through with a lightsaber. Your two choices: let Genocidal Dictator Boy join the Alliance and work right alongside the people he's actively tried to murder, or refuse and be considered a monster. Choices, choices.

Better decision: Refuse to save, imprison for war crimes, save, save without joining Alliance. All of which should be neutral. They could have even branched this off further - does Arcann go off to atone through his actions of trying to help rebuild? Do you just let him flee and become a ghost? Is he turned over to the factions and put in jail? Or do you execute him?

SCORPIO in KOTET chapter 5. HOW many times has SCORPIO lied to you, tried to do away with you and otherwise caused extensive trouble? Bonus for Imperial Agents, how many times in the class story did she casually mention she eventually wants to murder you? Of course, by all means, let her merge her consciousness with the homicidal cyberplanet who has just tried to murder you and has horrific weapons at its disposal. I'm sure no harm could come from that. After all she promised she won't bother you. It's not personal.

Better choices: - Let SCORPIO merge with the promise of helping you destroy the faction of your choice later (DS - hey, I SAID it's a dark side choice so let's go for the goalpost with it) - Kill SCORPIO (neutral), - oho, what's this? You've been able to completely neutralize SCORPIO and contain her in the Gravestone with the super special top secret program Doctor Oggurobb has been working tirelessly on for months since you learned SCORPIO wasn't dead?? Whoohoo! Victory without death! (LS).

Dramath in KOTET chapter 7.

Because you haven't been subjected to Valkorion's family enough, here comes Daddy Dramath. Who is imprisoned in a holocron in a max-security basement crypt and swears, up and down, that he will go away and not bother you if he's set free. I mean, you have so many reasons to take Family Valkorion/Tenebrae at their word, right? It's not like this could be a malicious Force ghost. You've never run into any of those, nope. And it's not like you're on a planet that has been corrupted into something terrible in the Force (or lack thereof) which might make it even more dangerous to release ghosties you meet.

Better decision: - Free (LS), - Keep - but swear to release after you've defeated Valkorion and keep that promise(LS), - Imprison and tell Dramath he's your servant forever, mwahahaha (DS). Let that be the differentiating factor in whether he helps you or not in KOTET 9.

#swtor #anti Arcann #rain talks swtor #kotet spoilers #kotfe spoilers

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outlanderanatomy · 9 months

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Mini Anatomy Lesson – William’s Wound!

Hello, anatomy students!

Good to see you again so soon. 😉

Today’s lesson explores the horrific circumstances leading to an intended amputation of William’s forearm.

Just so you know what to expect, this lesson does contain a number of rather gruesome images!

William’s wound appears in Outlander episode 704, “A Most Uncomfortable Woman.”

A short recap: William hastily rides through the Great Dismal Swamp. His steed, Jupiter, is startled by a snake, which looks very much like a copperhead to me!

Read more! https://www.outlanderanatomy.com/mini-anatomy-lesson-williams-wound/

#outlander #diana gabaldon #scotland #starz

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outlander-online · 4 months

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#Outlander #Outlander Cast

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cajon-desastre · 10 months

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#Outlander #season 7 #7x02

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seerofmike · 1 year

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yo. not sure if ure the right person to ask but idk where else to go. i recently came back to apex and am trying to catch up w the lore except im a bit confused. i knew octane hated his dad and was working under him to fuck him over later but now he fell for his dads BS? or am i missing something? and i heard his dad isnt even his dad but his grandpa and im just confused.

also, before i took a break from apex i used to read ur cryptane fics a lot. i found u still into apex and still writing for it as well which is why im asking u. rly like ur fics, tyvm for them :) ty in advance if tumblr doesnt eat this ask.

im glad u like my fics thank you!!!

okay so, not entirely sure when you left or how much you know of the current storyline but quick recap, octane's abusive POS father does some terrorist shit and continuously ridicules him and disowns him in that one season 9 comic, then starts running for Syndicate Head Honcho in season 12 after some fuckery framing maggie for the destruction of olympus.

obviously concerned about his father who is uhhh an evil terrorist (not like maggie, the cool terrorist <3) octane tells lifeline he'll break into his father's safe to gather some info. duardo catches him, but basically like. bribes octane into 'working' for him and octane agrees because he's like teehee!!! i'm gonna screw him over!! che will be sooooooo impressed

then over the course of the quest duardo continuously praises octane and convinces him that he's doing good things by donating to the Frontier Corps. the climax of the quest is lifeline managing to break into duardo's safe while octane finds a video on his computer from a press conference where duardo seems to confess that he loves his family more than anything and that his son is very important to him.

the secret in duardo's safe is his own death certificate. lifeline wants to expose him. octane wants to wait it out and see what happens and might be a little emotionally vulnerable from the whole shebang (as is lifeline tbh cuz she likes to take the whole weight of the outlands on her shoulders), so some petty arguing ensues but it escalates until octane grabs the certificate from her and burns it. they break up as friends officially and both remark that their friendship has been dead for a long long time.

fast forward, octane apparently helps 'duardo' campaign but doesn't question him until the night of the election where he wins, and duardo announces he's taking over lifeline's organization and installing her mother as the new head. octane confronts him after the election, devastated and angry at the idea that duardo had played him. his 'father' insists he hasn't, so when octane demands to know his true identity he tells him: torres silva, his grandfather, and continues to gaslight octane into thinking he's doing it For The Family. in the epilogue, lifeline teams up with maggie to do some terrorist girl shit herself.

so the quest ends with lifeline and octane on opposite sides, and also the reveal that the video that made octane think his father actually cared about him was in fact his grandfather talking about his father LMAAAAAO

how eager / thrilled / willing he is to work with torres seems to fluctuate a little and hasn't really been explored since. on the one hand, he shows moments of anxiety about the whole situation like in this image in the newcastle teasers where the description explicitly says he's nervous about the whole thing;

and in the final chapter he seems genuinely upset and freaked out about the fact that lifeline's mom has taken over the frontier corps, who he thinks is 'not cool' (so true bestie)

he also seems to occasionally be suspicious of torres, right now when you drop in certain areas of the new map (Broken Moon), if he's alone (and notably, *only* if he's alone) he will ask himself what torres wants with the place.

on the other hand, he seems...Fine with engaging with torres still? and maybe even helps him do shitty things? it's implied in this interview between seer and lisa stone that torres paid her to pin the blame of boreas's turbulance on seer, and the way octane reacts after the interview seems to imply that either a.) he knew what torres was planning and is amused or b.) he didn't know, but regardless, was very amused by what torres did to him.

in a loading screen torres also says this (context: they are filming a PR video apologizing for the giant sea monster attacking the legends)

it's not outright confirmed octane still helps him do his political shit after campaigning with him, but it's likely. he also helped pitch boreas as a new apex map to torres with seer and still seems very engaged with him despite the bombs dropped at the end of s12. given that he helped seer pitch boreas, and questions (alone) on cleo about what torres wants with the moon, he seems to suspect something is up, but he isn't as open about it as others and seems kind of hesitant to say anything.

so. the verdict;

i get what apex was trying to do in the season 12 quest. torres DOES start love-bombing octane all of a sudden, which makes octane give literal pause like Twice because "what?? he called me son???? he's never done that before ??????" (<- transgender btw) and i think they were hoping to give the impression that octane is gaslit and manipulated into siding with torres. the narrative also acknowledges that octane's actions are Extremely selfish here and driven entirely by emotion and wanting to feel loved than any sort of logical reasoning or 'greater good' like he insists.

that being said, it really needed more time in the oven. he goes REALLY quickly from "i'm gonna trick him!! teehee!" to burning one of the very few bridges he has and possibly throwing the entire outlands into turmoil because daddy said he loved him once. then it goes very quickly again from "octane unconditionally supports his (grand)father because he is desperate for his approval" to now "octane may in fact regret this and be very suspicious of him" but the latter thing is kind of up in the air given that octane still actively works for him and seems to do a little bit of villainous shit himself.

right now, i think they are intentionally going with a rather messy narrative because like...abuse is messy. family is messy. being manipulated and gaslit and you yourself manipulating and gaslighting your friends and repeating this cycle of abuse because your abuser suddenly pretends he cares about you because he wants to USE you for political gain is a very messy story and it always would have been.

i don't think octane 100% is onboard with torres or fell entirely for his BS, but i don't think he hates him either or what he's doing. it seems like there *IS* a part of him that cares for people Other than himself, but octane's focus is kind of on Me Me Me and right now what matters to Me Me Me is the fact that HE feels loved and gets what HE wants, outlands be damned, and admitting he was wrong means that torres does not love him, and that che was right. and since he also happens to be very petty he doesn't want to admit she was right since they're fighting rn LMAO

i think the story suffers from the main problem with All of apex's storytelling which is just that there wasn't enough time to sit with what it presents but overall i think this is like. fine. almost good, even. one of the better characters arcs apex has going for it right now.

(sorry for how long this is btw i think i went off topic <////3)

(btw cryptane enjoyer. they have voicelines now. they're shite but by god do they have them)

#apex legends #octane

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bcacstuff · 10 months

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hello hello! Ok it's Monday it's hot and I'm bored. Outlander episode was good but I need Outakes news and updates. Let's recap up to Ratingen. What do you think about that "reunion"? Is it so strange? after years do they meet again? You must care a lot to travel so far to visit her? Is there a kiss photo? hugging MC style? I think the candid athlete has broken up with her boyfriend Pierce and our SH is a wild card for a race weekend. And on the other hand, there is our friend Puff suggesting that Cinderella is linked to SH because omg they coincide in London, a city so little visited, I hope sarcasm is understood. So what do you think GE girlfriend or CM? both? Thanks and happy monday Hello hello! Okay, it's Monday, it's hot and I'm bored. Outlander episode was good but I need Outakes news and updates. Let's recap up to Ratingen. What do you think of that "reunion"? It's so strange? After years do they meet again? Should you care a lot about traveling so far to visit her? Is there a kiss photo? embracing the MC style? I think the guileless athlete has broken up with her boyfriend Pierce and our SH is a wild card for a race weekend. And on the other hand, there is our friend Puff suggesting that Cinderella is linked to SH because omg they happen to be in London, such a rarely visited city, I hope the sarcasm is understood. So how about GE or CM? is GE his girlfriend? Do you think that after so many women, GE is the chosen one? Is our King Waldo in love? Both? thank you and happy monday

hello hello!

Do you always repeat your messages? 😂 (sorry couldn't resist)

Well it's already passed midnight here, so already Tuesday. Anyway my recap of last week is not about Ratingen or a reunion. Not even about any suggestions of Cinderella being linked to him in a city so little visited.... as if that was any news he was there for those days. If anyone would have taken a look at the timelines I post regularly anybody could have seen he was in London. Busy days, spotted about every day, and all the time no Cinderella in sight... (nor a Cait).

My 'Outakes news' would be more about these bloggers all seems to watch this space quite closely. Any side, minions rushing out to tell how I just posted about the running video being posted on 8 March so Pinnuendo (yes that's the category name I file this under) could be created. On the other side, the posts I file under Shinnuendo, how a song and their guts is more proof to them than a video or pics showing where the Captain is really at and what he is doing.

The most intriguing thing is how they all carefully try to avoid calling my blogger name! From blackening out to inventing the most hilarious names and descriptions. I've yet to decide on which name would take the cake. they've come up with so many... it's hard to make a choice. And oh, even more intriguing, they tell their followers, if they follow me, they will be blocked! Yet, surprisingly they don't block me themselves... now why would that be 🤔 Anybody having thoughts about that?

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drunklander · 9 months

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Ep. 708 Recaps & Interviews

[Updating as new ones post.]

Outlander Recap: Stupid Hero Complex (Vulture)

Outlander Finale Recap: A Pivotal Death Sends Jamie and Claire Back to Where It All Began — Plus, Grade It! (TVLine)

Outlander midseason finale recap: Jamie and Claire return home (EW)

Outlander producer on midseason finale, what's to come after that journey: 'You can never go home again' (EW)

Outlander Season 7 Mid-Season Finale Recap: Jamie & Claire Barely Escape the War & Return to Scotland (SheKnows)

‘Outlander’: The True Story Behind Benedict Arnold and the Battle of Saratoga (Decider)

‘Outlander’ Season 7 Episode 8 Recap: “Turning Points” (Decider)

‘Outlander’ Season 7 Episode 8 Ending Explained: Who Kills Simon Fraser? Will Mr. Bug Kill Rachel? Where Did Roger and Buck MacKenzie Go? (Decider)

What Song Plays at the End of ‘Outlander’ Season 7 Episode 8? Lyrics and Meaning of “Tha mi sigith ‘n fhogar seo” (Decider)

‘Outlander’: I Adore Rachel and Ian’s Tragically Horny Romance (Decider)

'Outlander' Author Diana Gabaldon on the 'Amazingly Successful' Season 7 Midseason-Finale (Parade)

All Your Questions About Outlander's Mid-Season Finale, Answered (Glamour)

Outlander Season 7: EP Maril Davis Previews the Show’s Midseason Finale (Glamour)

#outlander starz #outlander recaps #outlander 7x08 #*

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easays · 11 months

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show notes for ep 5 of the ravening wars

anything below the cut may contain spoilers! here's my nerdy thoughts on this episode as it's happening

okay, so the immediate launch into initiative while raphaniel is possibly, maybe, still naked is the kind of body humor that this intense episode is going to need -- I can already tell the sound design time is putting in work with this low-level tone that keeps merging in and out of combat!

deli climbing over colin is the meat n' cheese moment we absolutely deserve -- it's like outlander but the homoeroticism is text not subtext

also amangeaux continuing to want to send this mothering comfort is absolutely in the same weird level as seeing karna through a maternal light and karna being like "absolutely not"

raphaniel: if I just connect to them on a deeper level, I can make them UNDERSTAND me, I ca-

deli: TIME TO SLAM IT DOWN AND I DON'T MEAN BIG STYLE

karna: did he start it? yes. am I ending it? also yes

C'EST MOI is brilliant and please aabria iyengar doing more French accents

wow the 1-2 punch for colin provolone while he's trying to show off for his ex is very funny and matt mercer taking pity and saying "yes the 13 counts" so colin can in fact show off and THEN amangeaux saying "I don't like it but goddamnit I have trained for this and I will help"

also, we know, we KNOW brennan will make capitalism the villain, but the way he's been able to capture the horrors of church power, and how it's distilled in his outburst as "you know where they go?! my study!" while holding a bloody skull is honestly inspired

okay the telepathy freak out is such good improv from zac -- like it is fucking WEIRD to just suddenly have someone in your head!

AARON GODDAMN FONTINA EVERYONE -- and yeah I'd def swing on my dad too if I was zac

as someone who grew up playing theatre of the mind dnd, I've never really understood the fascination with minis, but being able to just whip out three-dimensional versions of a map as the party proceeds is kind of bad ass

[I will not recap combat turn by turn because it is inherently outside my wheelhouse but I will scream about the parts that make me go 'ah!']

brennan lee mulligan with the "raphaniel now understands physical arousal" line is mvp line of the episode

deli "is Colin watching me" katzon everyone, the level of interpersonal horniness/conflict that the cast can manage in an incredibly combat heavy episode is impressive as fuck

the necromancy closure bit, as Colin finally kills his dad, is fucking wild and Brennan's ability to play unhinged religiosity never ceases to amaze me

and it seems like we're finally getting some answers about raphaniel's visions? and the answer is...deus pa'zuul....?

an elder saprophus apparently made a deal with those above -- the saprophians PRE-EXISTED calcorum, and the bulbian elders have used them for their own advantage. when the bill comes due, it seems that the death from the ravening war is the "payment" to the sapophorians...? I'm not one hundred percent on it but this is great dramatic acting from all involved

the seventh kingdom of calorum! saprophus!

#dimension 20 #dimension twenty #thane delissandro katzon #colin provolone #karna solara #lady amangeaux epicée du peche #bishop raphaniel charlock #actual play

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iamanartichoke · 9 months

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Apropos of nothing, does anyone know where I can go to read in-depth recaps of what's been happening on Outlander, preferably on a site where I don't have to disable my ad-blocker or register for an account?

#outlander #i made it through season 5 until i couldn't really sit through it anymore #like i was interested in the characters/story but there were too many new characters #and too much filler in between juicy plot/character progress #so i'd like to know what's been happening with the main ones #ya feel?

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kcyars189 · 10 months

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#outlander 7x03

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patwrites · 1 year

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I have come to the conclusion that every episode of Outlander is going to dehydrate me to some extent. I must now drink a full bottle of water between each closing credits and the recap that Netflix always skips over

#outlander

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fae-fucker · 2 years

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Breaking Time: Part 1

After more moral deliberation than what is probalby justified, I've decided to snark this book after all. You see, I’ve sort of realized that what I have to say would make for a ridiculously long book review, so I might as well do this. But because the horse I'll be kicking is half-dead already, I figured I'd go easier on it, and this snark will be shorter and speedier than my usual ones, going at about five chapters per post, or 5 ch/p. This means I'll be mostly recapping the events and cutting back on my line-by-line nitpicking, only adding quotes when they're extra bad or when they're funny bad. If recap-heavy isn't your vibe, feel free to skip this snark.

So, a few important disclaimers before we get into this:

I don't follow Sasha on anywhere, never have, and never will. All I know about her personally is that she's got red hair and she's weaponized her awful taste in literatture to create a career for herself. She also seemingly can't write for shit, but got a publishing deal and became a New York Times bestseller off of her own fanbase. Gatekeep girlboss etc. I'm saying this to explain why I might not pick up on references to her own life or similarities between her and the main character, of which there are apparently many. Feel free to inform me of these if you like, but it's likely that I'll miss them in the text itself. However, that also means I'm not biased for or against Klara, so I'll be looking at her as her own character, as it should be tbh. Self-inserts are fine in fanfic but shouldn't be a thing in published lit.

I have an at best passing and at worst insufficient knowledge of the mythology and folklore that will be referenced in the book. Yes, I'm sorry, but I probably won't be able to know where Sasha fucks up, which means I'll fuck up by proxy. I know some very basic things, mostly stuff that overlaps with Nordic folklore, plus stuff I've picked up from other media, but I haven't done any in-depth research myself. So if you see something outrageously wrong and I don't pick up on it, feel free to inform me, just don't be a dick about it.

I have not read Outlander and I never will! However, I do have a good friend who has read it, so I might ask them about this stuff. This means I sadly won't be able to see just how close the similarities are (though I know Klara and Claire are basically the same name, shame on you Sasha), but I'm not about to read Outlander just for this snark, sorry huns. Some things even I won't read.

With all this in mind, what exactly will I be critquing if I can't talk about the most juicy stuff, you might ask? Well, everything else! The romance, the worldbuilding, the plot, the writing, the characters. I'd say there's plenty of stuff to look at aside from the most blatantly bad shit, and one could argue that this gives me sort of an unbiased and somewhat objective look at the work.

Okay, it's not fully unbiased of course. I'm doing a snark before I've even finished the book, meaning I fully assume it'll stay bad enough to talk about throughout. That's the definition of biased. But! I genuinely have no particular ill will toward Sasha or her work, and I want to see what she's cooked up for us, what she's been working on for so long. I thought Lindsay Cummings' standalone work wasn't phenomenal, but at least it was, I dunno, intriguing? I need to know for scientific reasons whether Sasha on her own can carry a novel, whether her solo projects will be any better than Zenith.

Now, you might wonder why I'm giving Breaking Time this treatment while The Murder Complex only got a review? For one, I didn't think TMC would be fun to snark, since it was just ... nothing. It woud just be me moaning about the stupid worldbuilding and edgy writing over and over. It was basically Zenith but on Earth, complete with another white-haired murderous waif.

But, if we have to be honest ... Who's the main person to blame for Zenith? Cummings didn't have any sort of audience before Zenith, and I don't know if she has one after. The only reason Zenith exists, and lbr, this book exists, is because Sasha already has a dedicated audience. (Though not dedicated enough anymore, judging by the GR ratings, oof.) So, in my opinion, if a YouTuber gets to coast off of their existing influence to sell their books while actually good authors have to scrape together what they can, then they deserve higher scrutiny from the public.

Because of her fanbase, she got to publish this book that genuinely reads like a first draft, something that wouldn’t have been published if the publisher didn’t know it would sell regardless of quality. I think that fucking uuuh sucks ass? So I’m here to tell you why that’s a bad practice and that publishing sucks and you shouldn’t buy Youtuber books.

Ahem. Well, that was long. Now let's get into it!

Chapter 1: Callum

The book opens in 1568, and we're in the POV of a man named Callum, who's staggering out of a pub in search of his friend Thomas.

We find out that Callum and Thomas are both pit fighters, and Thomas has recently been getting his entire ass handed to him, which is worrying. They both work for a man slash abusive father figure named Brice. They’re both orphans and Thomas is Callum’s older brother figure, so he’s very attached to Thomas as a role model, though Callum is especially bummed out about not having a mom.

Callum keeps wandering around looking for Thomas with no response, and he's extra worried because a while earlier, Thomas had given him his most prized and secret possession: a notebook. This would indeed be quite worrisome, Callum, I'm with you there.

Callum recalls that Thomas has been acting strange these last few months, disappearing at regular intervals and coming back weird and mean, talking about mystical creatures as if he'd met them. Thomas would also talk about mysterious men who leap between worlds, oooh.

They’re coming, Cal, you’ll see. It’s as simple as stepping through a veil.

Who’s coming, Thomas? What veil? Callum asked, and Thomas would laugh.

What an asshole, lol. Ok but why wouldn't he explain to Callum who he's talking about? He's clearly willing to talk about his other experiences. So what in-universe reason does Thomas have for just laughing Callum off instead of telling him what's going on? I know we need to keep it mysterious for the reader but this just makes no sense.

Giving me Soyina laughing at Andi for asking how she brings people back to life with "science."

Callum hears a sound and finds Thomas, super-stabbed and bleeding out fast. Callum feels bad about stealing his dirk earlier, he'd done it because he was worried Thomas would hurt himself with it, but now he thinks he might have been able to defend himself if Callum hadn't taken it. We also get this:

He wished suddenly, ferociously, that he’d had a proper mother, one whose wisdom he could call upon to calmly guide his hands. However, Thomas was the only family he had.

Literally what. I get that we have to establish that Callum doesn't have a mother and Thomas is basically his older brother, but we have already established that. This just feels really jarring to me. Like his best friend and brother is bleeding out and Callum is bitter about how he doesn't have a mom? Anyway.

Someone attacks Callum, a mysterious man with white hair and amber eyes. He's holding the dagger that he presumably used to stab Thomas, so Callum loses his marbles and attacks him right back. It doesn't do much of anything, and it seems the stranger has some sort of supernatural powers, ooh.

“I’m going to have fun with you,” the stranger whispered. “I like a man with a bit of fight in him. It’s more fun to play with your prey, don’t you think?”

Gee, I wonder if he's the bad guy. (But also I'm internally cringing because this is basically how I wrote the bad guy in my book at first before betas pointed out he was too hammy. None of us are above bad writing, kids. Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.)

“I dinnae believe I’m going to Heaven,” Callum said, raising his fists once more, drawing strength from the familiar ache that radiated through his arms. “But I cannae wait to bring you to Hell with me.”

You couldn't add a little "hasta la vista" in there? Or mayhaps a "yippee ki-yay, motherfucker"? No? Too much? Cuz I swear it would've fit right in.

Man, even when he's getting his ass beat by a bad man, our hero simply must have his little epic badass moment and the shitty one-liner, huh?

Plus, it's so clunky and awkwardly written. If it's supposed to be badass, why does it sound like he rehearsed it in the shower for ages and still got it wrong? If I were the villain here I'd defo giggle.

Anyway, his big dick bonanza doesn't last very long and the bad man cuts him up like a shish kebab. Callum collapses next to Thomas all dramatic, and then the bad man collects some of Thomas's blood.

“If you’ll excuse me, there’s one last Pillar I must find.”

Pillar?

The unearthly amber eyes melted into darkness as his opponent backed away and turned, disappearing into the shadows once more. Softly hissed words echoed in the alley. Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh, Àiteachan dìomhair, fosgailte dhomh…

A bunch of spooky magic mist surrounds the bad man and Callum is bleeding out. Then he hears Thomas’ voice saying “Get up, scunner” and this is enough to push Callum to a final attack, and he manages to grab onto the bad man (noticing that he has knots tattooed around his collarbone, those will be important later I guess) and time seems to stop just as his blade connects with the bad dude's neck.

A bright glow burned against his lids. He closed his eyes tighter and welcomed whatever might follow, only hoping he’d find Thomas there. A wall of light had formed above, descending as if the sun were pulling him through the sky. His body rose into its searing embrace.

He waited for the long drop to the ground, but it never came.

Callum kept soaring.

Not just through the street.

Not to death’s embrace.

But somewhere else.

Leaping to another world, like the man in Thomas’s story, Callum thought.

So he leaped.

The previous descriptions all sound distinctly like Callum has no control over his movement, but sure, end the chapter on that note just for the drama of it.

Honestly, for a first chapter, it's not bad! The writing is a bit iffy in spots, but it sets up one of the main characters, his background, his relationships and connections, his motivations, and it introduces an antagonist and some intriguing lore as well! It’s a little too fast for my taste, but overall, not bad!

Chapter 2: Klara

We’re in “Present Day” now, with our second protagonist. Her chapter starts like this:

Klara usually thought of rain as Scotland’s natural lullaby, but right now it felt more like the bars of a prison cell.

Hell if I know.

We find out that Klara is in covering for her aunt Sorcha (of course) as receptionist of Kingshill Manor, an old Scottish inn that Klara’s family owns that’s filled with old Scottish stuff that I’m sure Sasha researched for a whole five minutes. We also find out that Klara’s mother died fairly recently of cancer, and that Klara moved back to Scotland so she could apply to college there instead of in the States.

Her father used to be a CFO of a “boutique hotel chain” in the US, and boy am I suddenly reminded of why I rarely read contemporary romance. It’s just very hard for me to relate or care about an affluent pretty white girl going on adventures. Red hair isn’t a personality trait, no matter how many booktubers want to convince you it is <3

Anyway, turns out that Klara doesn’t actually want to study astronomy in Edinburgh because it was her dead mother’s dream rather than hers, and she’s now received a confirmation letter in the mail saying that her withdrawal has been accepted.

Klara wanted more than to study the stars—she longed to discover new ones. New worlds.

Yeah I’m pretty sure you still need to study astronomy in order to do that. Unless she means she wants to get into crystal healing or crypto.

Her dad returns home and Klara explains (in narration) that she’s not yet ready to tell him about her college decision, because he’s a big softie and is still deeply affected by his wife’s death. He convinces Klara to go do something because she hasn’t been outside in 3 days. She decides to schedule a visit to her grandmother over the weekend. And then ... grabs the car keys to go ... somewhere? We don’t really get any destination or anything. It’s clearly just a super clumsy way of getting her out of the house and into the car. Why couldn’t she just go to her grandma’s now? Idk man.

Before you read this next quote, I want you to know that Klara previously mentioned a doorknob in the shape of a horse’s head. It comes back now like this:

“Okay,” [Klara’s dad] said. “Be safe.”

She turned back again, smiling, leaving one hand on the doorknob. The horse’s cool brass nose pressed into her palm. She met his eyes. Dark green, like hers. It was the only feature she’d inherited from him.

The ... horse? The only feature she inherited from the horse head doorknob?

Look, I know what this is supposed to refer to, but man is it awkwardly written. This is something even a cursory edit would’ve picked up. Did nobody read this before it got published?

Idk.

Her dad invites her to go to the pub later to see a band, and we get the obligatory not-like-other-girls rant.

At eighteen, she could legally drink in Scotland. It should have been every normal American teenager’s dream, but Klara had never felt normal—not even before they uprooted their lives to a country across the ocean. Going to a pub to socialize with strangers was the last thing on her mind. Cute mailman aside, she preferred the leading men of romance novels, who were hot and charming and broody and didn’t try to pull her into any awkward conversations.

This will sound cruel but um. I hope this isn’t Sasha’s actual thought process, because this is straight up baby logic. I love cringey romance novel heroes as much as the next lonely fuck, but to aspire to date someone who’s similar to them IRL? Bruv.

Is Sasha single? I hope she is, because if not, her SO now knows what she actually wants in a partner given that she wrote her ideal man into a self-insert romance novel.

Anyway, she goes out for a drive and then sees a Mysterious Man on the road. She swerves to avoid him but finds his crumpled body on the ground anyway.

Chapter 3: Klara

Klara’s panicking and inspects the stranger. He’s barely conscious and covered in blood. Kingshill Manor is closer than any other town and hospital, and she forgot her phone at home, so she gets the guy into her car and drives back to call an ambulance.

He keeps mumbling something about Thomas, so she assumes that’s his name. Once back in the manor, he falls over and she lands with her head on his muscled chest, because of course. She inspects his hot bod and finds that he’s got no actual wounds, and worries that he maybe murdered someone.

Though he was slim, there was muscle on him. She took in his dark, curly hair and sun-bronzed face. Even in his rain-soaked, filthy state, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive he was. He kind of resembled the guy on the cover of A Loch Ness Lass in Love.

Yeah, Sasha’s Pinterest board for this book has pictures of a wet Henry Cavill and several equally wet lookalikes, none of whom I would call slim. Unless she means “slim” as in “not fat” and not “skinny.”

Klara finds a dirk on him, the one we know he took from Thomas.

The blade was covered in dirt, but Klara could tell it was well taken care of, regularly sharpened and polished, free of rust. The studded handle was wound in leather, which was soft and worn. Cold crept up her spine. Like the dirk was used often.

Cold crept up her spine like the dirk was used often? Again, I get what this is supposed to say, but it’s so weird and awkward and reading it felt like getting smacked in the face. Just removing “like” would’ve saved it, IMO, which once again begs the question: who edited this?

Chapter 4: Callum

The chapter opens on a flashback of Thomas and Callum hiking up a mountain, which Callum hates but is doing for his bestie brother figure. Then it abruptly ends with Thomas telling Callum that he’s lost and it’s time to wake up. Very ominouse.

Callum wakes up in the now-times and is confused by everything. He thinks Klara is a bean-nighe and the paramedic inspecting him is holding some sort of weird metallic torch. Looking around, Callum seems to think he’s in some lavish mansion or something. Which I think he is, but even more lavish for him because he’s a 16th century peasant.

The doctor asks if Callum has been drinking, which Callum confirms and mentions The Black Heart, the same pub he had stumbled out of at the start of the novel that still exists in the present day. This, apparently, is enough to make the doctor believe he’s dealing with a drunk and recommend he takes aspirin and water and drinks a bit less.

So um ... Wasn’t Callum covered in blood? Like, not only that, but he’s likely concussed and seems confused by his surroundings? Wouldn’t a paramedic find all of this sort of alarming, even if the patient doesn’t have any visible wounds? This all seems very convenient to me.

Anyway, throughout all this, Callum is very aware of Klara becuase she’s just so pretty, and also because he thinks she might be a banshee.

“He’s lucky to not be dead.” The sound of her voice was strange, an accent unlike anything Callum had ever heard. Not Scottish—nor English, nor French—but spirited. Perhaps she was Scottish, after all.

There’s something deeply embarrassing and uncomfortably personal about this, like reading smut by a bad writer where you can tell this is specifically for them only and you’re just “lucky” to be along for the ride. The idea of an American author, obsessed with Scotland, thinking that a 16th century Scottish stud would find her modern American accent “spirited” enough to maybe be Scottish?

It’s embarrassing. You should be embarrassed.

Also, this has introduced my first major issue with this premise, but we’ll get there.

Callum thinks Klara was the one who had healed his fatal wound and begins sheepishly cleaning up the mess he caused. Two American tourists walk in and assume he’s the receptionist? I have to reiterate that my guy is covered in blood, but the tourists seem to think he’s in costume.

Callum knew the lairds of the lands lived different lives, but he could hardly understand this man.

But Klara’s accent is spirited, is it? (We find out later that the tourists are Texan, while Klara lived in New York. Weird vibe, if you ask me. Doesn’t seem to make any linguistic sense why Callum would find one appealing and the other incomprehensible, but what do I know.)

There’s some more comedic shenanigans that you can probably imagine a better version of, but Klara returns and Callum has the obligatory think on how hot and beautiful and ginger she is.

Her beauty reminded Callum of the stories sailors told as they passed through Rosemere on the way to the coast—of the beautiful mermaids that ensnared men’s hearts and dragged them to the depths of the sea. He had never understood why, if the men knew what fate lay before them, they didn’t turn away from the sea-devils before it was too late.

Now, looking at the lady before him, Callum understood.

Insta-love? In MY shitty shovelware equivalent of YA? Perish the thought.

Klara orders Callum to go wait in a different room -- the paramedic has left by now, btw -- and Callum goes off to have a survivor’s guilt trip about Thomas’s death and how he couldn’t save him and how he should’ve been the one to die. He rips off his shirt because it’s got Thomas’s blood on it (sigh) and then makes a vow on one knee to get revenge on the man who killed Thomas. It’s very dramatic.

Chapter 5: Klara

Of course, Klara walks in on Callum doing his little half-naked vow. And God forgive me for showing this to all of your virgin eyes.

Other than on TV, which didn’t really count, she hadn’t seen many men’s bodies in her eighteen years of life—except for Steven, her ex-boyfriend. She would’ve felt guilty for almost forgetting about him but then again, he was forgettable. And Steven seemed to have forgotten about her when he cheated on prom night...

Callum’s body was...not forgettable.

Muscled. Ripped. Svelte. Bonnie. Tan and lean, with a dusting of dark hair on his upper chest which also sprouted below his belly button and went lower than she cared to admit she had noticed. Definitely not forgettable.

HE CAN’T BE MUSCLED AND RIPPED WHILE ALSO BEING SVELTE AND LEAN. THIS IS NOT HOW DESCRIPTIONS WORK. It’s like she just threw on all the “hot” words without thinking of what her character actually looked like.

Sasha, I will be in your walls later this week, so clear out your fucking schedule.

(Also “cheated on prom night” makes it sound like he cheated on prom night. As in he was dating prom night and cheated on it.)

Klara hurries off to find Callum some clothes from the lost and found stash. When she returns, he makes fun of her being embarrassed by his nakedness.

He chuckled softly and took the bundle from her hands. “Dinnae fash, it’s just skin.”

She allowed her gaze to drift downward. He looked back at her, eyes sparkling.

He held her gaze. Time seemed to slow and stretch, like freshly made taffy.

God, what love potion did she accidentally take? She wasn’t the insta-love crush type, and she didn’t need to become one all of a sudden.

1) What a wild tone shift. How is this anywhere near how anybody would act in this situation?

2) Just because you shine a spotlight on your bad choices doesn’t make them not bad choices, Sasha. “Uhuhuhu, if I SAY it’s not insta-love, then its not insta-love!” Not how that works, hun.

3) Did you just use the word gaze twice in three sentences. Editing whomst?

Anyway, they introduce themselves and Callum goes to change into his new fit. He does ask about the dirk and notebook he had on him, but Klara lies and says she found nothing, because she’s still worried he’s a serial killer and doesn’t want him to have his knife. Fair enough.

She says she never found a phone on him but that he could use hers to call someone, then offers her dad to give him a ride home, but gets nothing in response. She offers him food and that gets him going. Then when Callum seems confused by his mishmash of new clothes, we get this:

“Yeah. Come on, [the clothes] scream vintage.”

She put the nuked breakfast burrito onto a plate and turned to see a bewildered Callum sitting at the other end of the table, staring at his hands.

“Acid wash? Scrunchies? Lots of hair spray?” Nothing. “Taylor Swift’s 1989?” He looked even more confused.

Hey Sasha, um, don’t mind my T-posing behind you at this very moment, but when do you think Taylor Swift’s 1989 was released? Just asking.

Klara suspects that maybe Callum comes from some isolated village, or that he suffered some sort of brain injury, which one would think the EMT would also wonder, but I guess the healthcare in Scotland is pure doggy doo-doo in this universe.

Klara slid the plate of food across the table.

“I hope you’re not a vegetarian.”

He gave her a questioning look. “I’m no Lutheran, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Uh...” Was that the famous dry Scottish humor she still didn’t get? “Do you like meat?”

He nodded, shaggy hair flopping with the movement. “Very much.”

Klara gave him a tight-lipped smile. His deep Scottish brogue was probably the thickest accent she had ever heard, which was saying a lot because a Glaswegian school group had once visited the manor.

Ah yes, the deep Scottish brogue of “very much.” Seriously though, why is his speech reduced to just having a thick accent? These people aren’t only thousands of miles apart in space, but nearly 500 years apart. They should not be able to communicate.

It feels like Sasha couldn’t even be bothered to look up those funny Scottish tweets that went viral a while ago, to make it seem at least slightly more authentic. Or ask any actual Scottish person to read through this mess.

Anyway, Callum thinks that Klara cooked his food, which she technically did, and is surprised by what he thinks is a noble lady doing the cooking herself.

“I thought the rich always employed a kitchen staff. You’re a...different sort of lady.”

“A different sort?” Was that a compliment or an insult? Klara laughed, mostly to hide a wince. Her family wasn’t rich—far from it—she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming. She did live in a massive, cool manor house brimming with antiques and oddities.

“Far from it”??? Didn’t you say your dad was a CFO of a boutique chain in the US? Babygirl just say you’re privileged and move on, you’re not fooling anybody with that “uhuhu we’re so HUMBLE and POOR in our MASSIVE HISTORIC MANSION FILLED WITH ANTIQUITIES.” This is why I can’t read contemporary romance written by pretty straight white women. I have to suffer through characters thinking that not being able to afford a fifth Live, Laugh, Love sign is oppression.

Also, if you remove “far from it,” the sentence becomes “Her family wasn’t rich, she couldn’t blame Callum for assuming.” This makes no sense, even with the aside. Did you miss a word somewhere? WHO EDITED THIS?! A little monkey???

They end up talking about Thomas being gone and Klara gets all sad about it because loss is tragic etc, and they bond over it. I’m not gonna say anything about this because I assume this is based on Sasha’s own life. Klara offers to help him find whoever took Thomas from him, but doesn’t know where Rosemere is, so instead they decide to go to The Black Hart.

She drives him there and thinks he’s about to kiss her before he gets out, which she doesn’t seem to mind, but this isn’t insta-love! It’s NOT insta-love! Shut up!

Callum gets out and heads for The Black Hart, but obviously it’s all modern and different now, so he chickens out and walks into the forest instead. Klara is compelled to follow him because of a Mysterious, Unexplained Feeling. Like, she’s physically pulled back into the plot by it. Watch the master Sasha at work, crafting her story for us to enjoy:

And yet, though she had only known him a few hours, she felt a tinge of sadness.

Well, less of a tinge...more like a pull.

[...] Deep in her chest, a knot formed. It was the strangest thing. Like nothing she had felt before. It wasn’t love, or empathy. It was a physical feeling, like a rope was tightening around her ribs. [...]

But the farther she drove from The Black Hart, the more the feeling intensified. It felt as if something was pulling her back. The longer she resisted, the tighter it became, until it was so tight, she felt like something would break inside her.

“What is this,” she choked, turning the wheel around. Her body moved of its own accord, but her brain was still trying to catch up.

To her relief, the feeling lessened as she got closer to the pub. [...]

Trust yourself.

Her mother’s words came to her, so loud and real in Klara’s mind that she actually looked to see if her mother was standing just outside the car, calling to her.

Yeah, excapt don’t trust yourself. Trust the plot literally pulling you back into it with mysterious feelings.

GOD. I said “mini snark” and then wrote this. So sorry, everyone. But also, no I’m not <3

#eff reads: breaking time

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