#pajama drive setlist

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter fourteen: "Love, hate, love"

Word count: 8,8K

Summary: The band is decided to take care of Joey, and for once, she is ok with that. Gerard is trying to find a way to get closer to her while Matthew... gets drunk again.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, cheating, angst, a lot of crying.

A/N: I want a friend like Mikey in my life. Do you guys think Joey will forgive Matthew? Would you do it? also, I love how honest Frank is with Joey. Gerard really hates him at this point hehehe.

Not my gif, and all this shit is fiction.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

::: Valencia, March 11th, 2011 :::

Joey's eyes were wide opened as she laid on her bed. She hadn't slept at all. Mikey was snoring next to her. He had stayed over to take care of her after everybody left. But he fell asleep, and the girl stayed up the whole night, not able to move or to do anything but to stare at the heart locket on her bedside table. It felt like bullshit to her now. What seemed to be so romantic was now nothing but a pile of lies.

Memories kept coming to her head. All of the times together with Matthew, their whole happiness. All the days they spent working on the house he had bought for them, and all the nights they sat in their new back yard to look at the stars, drink some wine and sleep in an inflatable mattress they had put in their bedroom. But what she remembered the most was the day they met. The day their whole story together had started, and how now Joey wished to go back in time and change it all. Ignore him, never talking to him, not even being in that studio that day. Anything that might keep her from the pain she was feeling now.

She had reached the studio early that morning. She had a meeting with a band at ten to record a demo. They needed a studio drummer, and Billy, the producer, contacted her. She had learned the songs; there were just three on the setlist. That shouldn't take more than three days in the whole process, including production.

Joey went through her warm-up and stretching before Billy walked in with two cups of coffee.

- "Thank you."

- "You are gonna need it,"- he said and cut her a short smile- "As far as I can tell, these guys are hyper"- the girl smiled and nodded.

- "Noted, hyper kids."

The drummer already had a lot of practice recording with random bands and some pretty known bands too. Yet, she wasn't ready for the tornado of energy that was about to go through the door that day.

The band was pretty funny and easy-going. Their music wasn't really in Joey's favorite playlist, but she was professional enough to give her best no matter what. Their friend, though, that guy was driving her insane. This very tall thin guy with light brown hair kept jumping with every song they played. He was sugar rushed or in coke. There was no way anyone would be that energetic on his own. And he had an opinion for every part of every song. Their friends loved him, it was clear, that's why they brought him along, but Joey was trying to do her work.

- "Hey,"- he said to her at the end of the session. He hadn't talked to her in the whole day- "That was pretty cool what you did back there."

- "Thanks"- she simply answered and looked for her backpack.

- "I mean, you played amazing, but the way you managed not to kill me through the whole day, though it was clear I was driving you insane, that was outstanding"- and the girl chuckled, she hated it 'cos she didn't want to, but that had been funny indeed.

- "It took a lot of will and mental strength, I must confess, you were pretty annoying,"- she answered with a snarky smile.

- "I'm sorry in advance for the next three or four days then"- the girl sighed and nodded.

- "Thanks, I guess."

- "Hey, can I try to make it up to you?"

- "By not to eat anything with sugar or take any coffee before coming tomorrow? Because that would be awesome"- and Matthew laughed. An honest big, and sincere laugher.

- "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get a coffee now with me..."

- "How much coffee do you have during the day?"- the drummer asked, raising an eyebrow.

- "A lot"- he simply answered- "So, what do you say? I promise I won't be annoying, or at least just the decent amount of annoying to be tolerable."

Joey didn't know what to reply. It had been ages since anyone had asked her out, and that guy was breathtakingly hot. Was it a prank? Why would he want to go out with her?

- "How are you planning not to be annoying?"- she asked and narrowed her eyes.

- "You can pinch me every time I get annoying,"- Gubler grinned, looking pretty excited to go out with her- "I know you want to pinch me."

Joey smiled and kept her eyes on his. He gave her the most adorable puppy eyes, and not even thinking about it, she accepted.

And that was the first of a thousand coffees they shared in almost a year together. They had even talked about getting married around the same date they had started dating. But now, none of that mattered anymore.

- "Mother fucker"- she whispered and slowly got out of bed. Mikey was still asleep. She wondered around the room, not knowing what to do. She went through all the things the guys had left upon a dresser: chocolate bars, filled chocolate, M&M, fun-size Snickers, all of her favorites candies. Frank's whiskey bottle, even a Pride and Prejudice Bluray.

- "You guys are awesome,"- she whispered and grabbed a bunch of candy. She looked through her things as she ate. It felt nothing was hers anymore. It felt that wasn't her life or her clothing. Not even her mind. She was out of herself. Her phone was nowhere to be seen. Probably Mikey had it hidden, just like she had done for him when he broke up with his wife. Now the tables had turned. And it felt weird. Wrong. Bad.

Joey had a knot in her stomach as she kept eating Snicker after Snicker. Still, she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. She found Matthew's shirts among her clothes, and her body shivered at the smell of his perfume still in the fabric. She could almost see his face, hear his voice, feel his hands on her skin. The same hands that had cheated.

Tears started falling right away. Still, she couldn't stop smelling the shirt. She couldn't stop thinking about him, about his face, his kisses, everything. But yet, she was so mad, so sad, so confused. Her stomach started aching, and the girl started retching. She ran to the bathroom and puked the few candies she had eaten. That was all that was left in her stomach.

- "Bug, hey..."- Mikey appeared running and kneeled next to her.

- "I'm ok, I just... I'm still..."- the girl sighed and wiped off the tears from her face, flushing. Mikey reached the mouthwash for her- "Thank you"- Joey clumsy stood up and spat in the sink.

- "Did you get any sleep?"

- "Not really"- the honesty of her answer surprised him. He was ready to deal with a girl in denial of her state. Instead, somehow, she just answered the truth. He decided to take another shot.

- "Are you hungry?"

- "Of course not. I just puked."

- "What do you wanna do today?"

- "Stay in here, in my pajamas, and watch shitty tv. How is your schedule for today? What do you have to do?"

- "Stay here in my pajama watching shitty tv with you,"- she cut him a sweet smile as she crawled into bed again.

- "You don't have to do that, Mikey. You have to work."

- "I know I don't have to, I want to do it for you"- he made a pause, grabbed the phone, and called room service.

- "Thank you,"- she whispered and heard him asking for two breakfasts.

- "Besides,"- Mikey added, after hanging up and getting into bed with her- "It's not like I have to show up and answer questions I've answered a million times before. That's why Gerard's the lead singer. He loves the attention."

Joey smiled and hugged Mikey, resting her head on his chest as he surfed channels.

- "Yeah, he is a little diva sometimes."

- "A little? Sometimes?"- Mikey chuckled- "Oh Bug, you have no idea..."

Gerard was walking on his own after the first interview. He asked for a few minutes to get something, and Worm came along to make sure he made it alive.

- "Dude, help, what can I give Joey?"

- "Is her birthday again or something?"

- "No, she broke up with Gubler, and I need something that might cheer her up."

- "Fuck! How is she?"

- "Locked in her room... what can I give her?"

- "Chocolates."- Worm answered right away.

- "Mikey got her a million of her favorites."

- "Booze."

- "Frank got her favorite whiskey."

- "Shit... movies to kill time?"- the man looked at Gerard and nodded- "So Ray got her movies?"

- "They had like a "break up kit" in their fucking bags or something. They know what to do, what to say to her, how to comfort her. And I ended up looking at her from a distance like... awkward and out of place."- Gerard was opening himself up at his friend.

- "Well, think of something that might help her use her time and mind to refocus her into something other than the breakup. Maybe a book"- Gerard nodded and kept looking at the window glazes. Instinctively he stood outside a stationery shop. He thought about it as he looked inside. To draw was an excellent way to kill time. Would she like that?

- "Why not?"- he said and walked in. After a few minutes, he stepped out with not two but three bags filled with art supplies.

- "Did you leave anything left in the store?"- Frank asked when he saw his friend carrying so many notebooks and pencils, you could think he was starting a store of his own. The two of them, plus Ray, got into the van to go to their following interview.

- "Funny. I just got Joey a few things to help her think of something else."

- "Cool man, good idea"- Ray smiled and took a look inside- "I just checked with Mikey. They were watching a movie."

- "How is she?"- Gerard asked as the van traveled through Valencia.

- "She didn't sleep, she hasn't eaten, Mikey was fighting to get her to eat some cereal... she was crying and puking when he woke up."

Gerard's heart ached in his chest as he heard Ray's words. He needed to find a way to make her feel better. But how? How if he never got to talk to her?

- "Any news from the asshole?"- Gerard asked, and Frank nodded.

- "Mikey has her phone off, so no one knows anything about him."

- "Do you think he is gonna show up?"- the singer asked, and both Ray and Frank looked at each other.

- "I think so,"- Toro said- "He is in love with her after all."

- "After all?"- Iero turned to him and frowned- "The fucker broke her heart! I don't want him near my little Bug in a thousand years."

Gerard wanted to hit Frank after calling her "his little Bug."

- "What the fuck is his problem? She ain't his. She is mine."

- "Frank, we are her friends, and we have to support her, but if she ever decides to get back with him again, even when we both know that's nearly impossible, we have to respect her. Ok?"- Ray was very rational about it, mostly 'cos he had lived it with other friends before- "So if he gets here, we can't do anything."

- "What do you mean "we can't do anything"?"- Frank frowned right away, frustrated- "I'm not gonna let that asshole near her."

- "Me neither, man"- Gerard adds- "And I can't believe you are saying this amount of shit after how she was yesterday."

- "It's called experience, Gerard. So remember, this whole shit ain't about how mad we are with Gubler, but about how much we want our friend to be happy, no matter what!"

Ray used his "dad" voice, and his friends couldn't argue with that. That was Raymond Toro's superpower: Super Dad.

Matthew looked at his mom and sighed. He still had three more days of shooting, and he was about to quit. Gubler barely had the strength to get out of bed that morning. He hadn't eaten. He looked like shit. He didn't want to be in the movie anymore. He gave a fuck about everything. So his mother came along to work with him and sat closely, reading a book, trying to comfort him in any way. Yes, that's how much Matthew loved his mother. And he cared shit if anyone made fun of him.

- "I can't do this, mom,"- he said as he walked to her by the end of a scene, he had some time to wait for things to be ready at the following location- "I mean, what the fuck am I doing here? I have to go to her! I have to tell her that I'm sorry"- he grabbed his phone and dialed- "Still off... Yami, please listen to me. I need to talk to you. This can't be it. I need you to listen to me."

- "Voicemail full"- a computer voice warned and finished the call.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- the young man hit the wall next to him a couple of times as his face turned red in anger and desperation.

- "Matthew, please calm down, you are gonna go, but you need to be calm when you meet her. You have to put yourself together first. What are you going to tell her? How are you going to approach her?"- he sighed and walked around in front of his mother.

- "I just need to talk to her now!"- he whispered, pouting. He had never needed anyone as much as he needed Joey at that moment.

- "She has to make her process too. If you run to her now, you are both going to be still hyperventilated with what happened, you are going to be irrational, you know you will, and she is going to be still so hurt and mad she won't think straight"- Matthew sighed and looked at the ground- "Let the things cool down for a few days."

- "I still need to talk to her. I have to call her."

- "Just make sure you don't sound like a madman when you get to talk to her, ok?"

- "Do I sound like a madman now?"- his mother smiled at held his chin for a second

- "As I had never heard you before... you are in love, baby, it's ok to be a madman... just... try to keep a mind straight when it comes to talking to her, don't scare her away."

Matthew nodded and sighed. His mother's words made sense, but how to calm himself down when he felt he was dying inside? He grabbed his phone and dialed. Still off.

- "Can you come over tonight?"- he wrote and sent the text to Paget, his best friend.

- "Sure, is everything ok?"

- "Tell you tonight."

The band reached Joey's room at lunchtime. They brought pizza and beer, but she didn't want either. They talked to her about their day, the interviews, and Gerard gave her his present. That was the one thing Joey was excited about. She loved drawing and coloring, though she sucked at it.

- "Thank you, Gerard!"- she said and cut him a shy smile- "I wanted to get some of these things for a while and never did"- and the singer smiled proudly. He had finally done one thing right.

- "Hey, if you want, I can teach you a few things so you can start your comic,"- he said and sat next to her.

- "Thanks..."- she nodded but didn't look into the idea. Gerard was probably pushing too hard. But he had gotten so excited with her reaction he thought it was the solution to the whole situation. Nothing was farther from the truth.

- "Come on, Bug, we brought your favorite pizza,"- Frank said and sat next to her- "It has all the bacon in Spain."

- "I'm not hungry,"- she whispered and didn't take her eyes from the art supplies.

- "You've barely eaten,"- Mikey said and held her hand, looking at her so worried, it made Joey feel guilty for having her friend like that. It wasn't fair.

- "Bróðir, I am ok. I ate that cereal you gave me."

- "You threw it up twenty minutes later"- she closed her eyes and sighed- "Do you always throw up when you are upset?"- and she nodded. She didn't want to say a word about it. When Joey was a kid, she had many anxiety problems; she always threw up when she felt stressed. It was the way her body worked to cope with whatever it was that she was feeling.

- "Just a slice, I don't care if you vomit it,"- Frank insisted. She held it and took the tiniest bite possible in a poor attempt to make her friend happy. He just kept looking at her, forcing her to take another bite.

- "Do you have to go to work after lunch?"- she whispered and looked at her fingers playing with the bacon on her pizza.

- "Yeah, Bug. Mikey should probably go shower, but I'm gonna stay with you."

- "I'm not a baby, Ray"- the girl frowned- "I can be alone."

- "I know you can, I just feel like staying here, watch a bunch of movies... maybe sleep a little, I don't wanna go to work,"- Ray simply replied.

- "Guys, I know you are being too cute and adorable right now, and from the bottom of my heart, I am forever grateful for it, but I can stay alone. Nothing is gonna happen."

Mikey moved closer to Joey in the bed and wrapped an arm around her.

- "Sure, you are gonna be ok, but right now, we just wanna be with you... just today, ok? Tomorrow you are on your own,"- she turned and raised an eyebrow at him- "I promise."

- "Fine..."

- "Now eat"- he commanded and moved her pizza closer to her.

- "When are you going to give me my phone back?"- she asked after a while.

- "Tomorrow"- Mikey simply replied.

- "What's the plan for tomorrow, by the way?"- Joey asked and looked at her friends- "Do we have to be at the festival the whole day?"

- "No, but we have to be there early,"- Gerard said and chewed his food- "We have to do some press there, and you should come along."

- "I'm good, thanks."

- "No, really, it was great when we did that radio with you, and you've been great all along this tour, so... it would be great if you were there with us... how many times did I just say "great"?"- Joey smiled at Gerard and looked back at her pizza.

- "Like a million times, dude,"- Frank answered- "Hey, where's the veggie pizza?"

It was very heartwarming and, at the very same time, very overwhelming for Joey to feel that amount of love from her friends. She didn't see it coming. That afternoon, she and Ray watched Pride and Prejudice together, and she even allowed herself to share a few tears during those 90 minutes. Ray pretended he never noticed, and that made her happy.

She picked a bunch of other chick flicks she liked, and her friend watched them all, sleeping a little bit from time to time. Joey wasn't able to close an eye. Every time she took her mind off the movie, she thought of Matthew and started crying again.

By the time the rest of the band arrived again, with more booze, more food, and a whole bag of candies, Ray had watched Clueless, 10 things I hate about you and Ever After. He was pretty surprised to know Joey could recite from memory most of the dialogues in those movies. He never thought she could be so... girly.

- "Hey Bug!"- Mikey practically ran to her- "What are you doing?"

- "Coloring this mandala book Gerard got me"- it felt like she was a little kid and Ray was her nanny- "I don't know why people say this is relaxing; I find it pretty stressful"- Mikey looked at it and smiled.

- "Looks pretty cool to me."

- "Let me see"- Gerard said and walked to her, sitting for the very first time, next to her- "Yeah, that looks stressful"- he whispered, and she smiled- "But there was another coloring book in the bag."

- "I feel like I'm five years old,"- she whispered and looked at the singer in the eyes. He cut her a big smile and grabbed a notebook from his bag.

- "I stopped to buy ten comic books today, so that would make two of us."

- "What did you get?"- that conversation kept going. Gerard couldn't believe it.

- "I saw a few X-Men issues in Spanish, and I thought it would be a nice addition to my collection."

- "Nice..."- Frank moved closer and messed with the girl's hair.

- "I brought you a Dr. Pepper,"- he whispered and kissed her cheek.

- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "I also got you fries"- he smiled and raised an eyebrow- "You can't say no to fries..."- and damn it, Frank was right- "Cheesy fries"- he added with a low sexy voice.

- "I hate you, Frank."

- "It's time for you to face it, Iceland, you love me, you can't live without my pretty face making you laugh"- he teased her and chuckled. She kept her eyes in his and cut him a short smile.

- "Fuck you, Jersey"- she whispered but smiled and snuggled closer to him- "I love you. You are a psycho brother with the ability to make me want to punch you."

- "You are that hot second cousin I would nail,"- Frank answered with a chuckle and a low voice. Joey giggled and hit him simultaneously. Gerard froze, thinking there was no way Iero could be so honest with her about his thoughts, not making her mad.

- "Shut up. Why do you always ruin every single moment we've got together?"

- "'Cos... you laugh when I do, and I love to hear you laugh"- the girl chuckled and blushed.

- "Just give me the damn fries."

Gerard looked at his friend in shock. He had flirted, and she smiled. What the fuck was that? It was so clear everybody was closer to her than him... and she told him she loved him.

- "Damn it! You are not going anywhere tonight until you get fucking closer to this girl."

Around midnight, Ray and Frank stood up. Joey was still laid on her bed, wide awake, watching Lethal Weapon with Mikey.

- "Kids, you should go to bed"- Ray announced and put on his shoes- "We've got a big day tomorrow, and you should all rest, especially you, Bug. The dark rings under your eyes will not be covered with makeup, and we will be on tv tomorrow."

- "I'll sleep, I promise"- she whispered and nodded.

- "Are you going to be ok with these two?"- Frank asked after kissing the top of her head.

- "These two are leaving soon, so I'll be ok"- she made a pause and held Frank's hand- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "There is nothing to thank, Iceland. You are my friend, and I'll protect you no matter what."

- "Yeah... what you did yesterday when you yelled at... at him"- Joey couldn't even really say his name- "Well... thank you-" he smiled and winked.

- "Anytime"

- "I love you, dad,"- the girl said as Ray walked over. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him kiss her forehead.

- "Please, try to sleep."

- "I will ... and thank you for watching chick flicks with me."

- "Anytime you want."

- "Really? You won't get sick of the clichés?"- she smiled and wrinkled her nose.

- "No, maybe next time I'll pick a couple when we are on the bus."

- "Dad, it's a date."

- "Sleep tight."

Joey nodded and watched her friends walking out. Mikey kept his eyes on the tv as he ate a bag of M&Ms. Gerard was sitting at the other side of the bed, drawing in silence. The girl sighed and watched tv for a while, but her mind was somewhere else.

- "You should take a bath,"- Gerard whispered suddenly- "If you are going to try to sleep, maybe a hot shower can help you."

- "I thought I smelled so bad you were gonna force me"- Joey answered, not even looking at him.

- "Joey, I've lived with you for a lot of months so far, and I've been locked with you after playing shows covered in sweat"- Gee made a pause and smiled- "You've never smelled bad"- she rolled her eyes, but a slight smile appeared on her lips.

- "You've never been close enough to smell me."

- "She is right, she gets nasty"- and Mikey got smacked by a pillow after those words.

- "Fine, I'll shower..."- but before moving an inch, the girl looked at her friend and asked- "Can you give me my phone back?"

- "Tomorrow."

- "I want to call my parents"- Mikey took his phone from his pocket and gave it to her.

- "Use mine"- she huffed and dialed.

Gerard watched her walk around the room, speaking half in Spanish, half in English with her mother, and then half in Icelandic, half in English with her dad. It was a funny scene to see; he had never seen it. He had never seen a lot of her habits, and yet he had fallen in love with her. Why? How?

- "Dude, I'm talking to you"- Mikey said and threw him an empty bag of candy.

- "Sorry, what?"

- "Can you stay with her for a while? I have to go to my room and take the biggest dump on earth"- Gerard frowned, disgusted, and nodded.

- "Using the bathroom would have been enough, dude."

- "No, it wouldn't, you need to know the disgusting details of my organism..."- Mikey started gathering his things, and Joey frowned as she watched him.

- "Where are you going?"

- "To take a shit"

- "Please don't use my bathroom. You are gross. It's like there's a corpse coming out of you every time"- Joey simply says, and Gerard burst out laughing.

- "Best description ever!"

- "Here's your phone, bróðir."

- "Thank you, Bug"- he grabbed it, put on his shoes, his backpack, and hugged his friend tight- "I love you."

- "I know. I love you too."

- "I'll leave you with Gerard. Are you gonna be ok?"

- "I'll be fine,"- his older brother answered and never took his eyes from the paper, scared of looking at Joey under the circumstances. He was finally going to be alone with her. What was going to happen?

- "I was talking to her, dumbass"- Gerard flipped the bird to Mikey as Joey stayed hugged to his younger brother. He wished she could hug him like that one day. That night maybe...

- "You are the best brother on earth"- she whispered- "Now please go to your room and sleep."

- "Eat some chocolates, take a bath and fall asleep, ok?"- Joey nodded, and Mikey left the room.

Suddenly she realized it was just her and Gerard. For the first time in weeks. But her mind didn't have room to think about anything else but the pain she was feeling. She missed Matthew so much; watching Lethal Weapon was the best idea at the moment.

Gerard kept drawing in silence, and Joey watched the movie until it was over. She ate a few more Snickers and went through the pages of one of the mandala coloring books Gerard had given her.

- "Are you going to take that bath?"- he asked her. But she didn't answer. She had spaced out, staring at her hands in front of her- "Joey? Are you ok?"

- "Yes,"- she murmured and took a deep breath- "Yeah, I'm gonna shower."

- "Do you need me to run the shower for you?"- the singer asked, standing up, but the girl excused herself, moved out of the bed quickly, grabbed a clean pajama from her bag, and locked herself in the room.

Gee looked around and sighed. He knew she wasn't ok at all, so he cleaned the room a little, threw all of the empty bags of chocolates into the paper bin, called room service to take their dinner dishes away, and made the bed.

- "Hey babe"- he whispered as Lynz picked up the phone- "How are you?"

- "Good baby, you?"

- "So fucking tired"- he might have exaggerated that a little bit- "We had an eternal day today, doing a lot of press for the festival tomorrow."

- "My sweet baby, are you in the hotel?"

- "Yeah, already in bed "In Joey's bed, asshole."

- "And how's everybody?"

- "We are all exhausted. It's been forever since we've been home."

- "I know, honey, I miss you so."

- "I miss you more, baby."

Joey sat under the hot water of the shower, crying her eyes out. She held those tears for so long that day. She needed to get them out of her system when no one could see or hear her. Under the shower was good, with water running down her whole aching body.

She felt so much pain inside it seemed to be endless. She was never going to overcome it. Joey knew it. She actually thought she could die of sorrow. And her friends had been so nice to her. She felt she had to be better, so they were calmer. She didn't want to make them sick worry about her.

- "You to put out a show from the next day and start acting like you are getting over this whole deal"- she whispered to herself and whipped off her tears- "They deserve better than a broken drummer. You have to be professional, you are here to work, and you have to fucking do your best work."

But still, she looked at the ring that was still on her finger, and the tears came back. She didn't want to take it off. She wanted to hold onto the memory of the days she was happy. But it was so hard. She had been broken-hearted before, but not like that. It had never been like this. It felt like the end of her world, and she was sure she was never going to recover from it. She wouldn't be the same woman that she was before. She just didn't know how much of the old Joey was going to survive.

- "Joey, are you ok in there?"- Gerard asked from the other side of the door- "You've been in the shower for a long while."

- "Yeah, I'm coming out in a minute,"- she answered and cleared her throat- "You can go to your room if you want to, I'm ok."

- "I'm not leaving until you are tucked and asleep into that bed, Joey."

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He had brought this to her. She deserved him to be nice to her. Nice, he could do nice. He just had to turn his dick off, and everything was going to be ok.

Easier said than done, clearly.

Joey walked out of the shower in her pajamas, hair already dried, and night cream on her face, 'cos she had done nothing for herself in the whole day, and a part of her needed to feel a little human again.

- "You didn't have to stay,"- the girl said as soon as she saw Gerard sitting on her bed, his back resting on the headboard.

- "I didn't want to leave"- he simply answered and tapped the bed beside him- "Come here... "- she sighed and thought a few months ago she would have been shaking as jelly under those circumstances. Now it seemed Joey couldn't even think of Gerard in any way that wasn't a friend.

She crawled into the bed and looked at what he was doing. He had been working on a sketch for a long while now.

- "What are you doing?"

- "Not much, just trying to ease my mind, I think"- he answered and showed Joey his drawings- "I've been working on characters for the stories I wanna write, so I keep making sketches of random thoughts and ideas I've got for them"- Gerard opened another folder and showed Joey some more of his work- "These I've developed for a long while, but I still don't feel they are ready."

- "How do you know they are ready?"- he hesitated for a second before answering.

- "I guess they never really are. You are constantly changing little things about them with time."

- "Like songs?"

- "Yeah"- the girl looked at the drawings in silence for a few minutes. Gerard looked at her as she stared at each sheet with detention. He analyzed her eyes, her lips, and her cheeks. She was still very pale, black rings under her eyes. But yet, for him, she was gorgeous. He was dying to hold her.

- "They are pretty cool,"- she said and handed them back.

- "Hey, did you ever finish the song you were writing the other day?"

- "The other day, you mean five months ago?"- he nodded, thinking it felt it was just a few weeks ago- "Yeah, I did."

- "Can I hear it?"

- "Sure, one day you'll hear it, not today, dude. Today, I don't want anything"- he nodded and watched her sighing.

- "Another movie?"- and she nodded- "Do you wanna pick it?"

- "No... I don't care what's on the screen as long as I don't think"- Gerard grabbed the remote control as Joey kept playing with the ring on her finger- "Are you going to..."

- "I'm not talking about it,"- she answered right away.

- "Sorry..."- he muted and surfed through the pay-per-view options until he picked up "The Goonies." Joey didn't say a word. That was one of Matthew's favorite movies. But she wanted to watch it. She wanted to feel he was close. She was so mad and so in love that she didn't know what to do.

Gerard put all his art supplies in his bag and cuddled next to Joey. He did it just like Frank had done the night before: like it wasn't a big deal at all. He wrapped an arm around her neck and moved closer. She didn't do anything against that. Instead, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. Gerard felt triumphant. She was in his arms, finally. But Joey had cuddled for one reason only: it was the best position to hide the tears that started falling slowly as the movie began. She remembered clearly the first time Matthew "forced her" to watch "The Goonies." It was a Saturday. It was raining outside. They spent the whole day in bed, watching movies, making love, eating chocolate chip hotcakes, and s'mores. It was the perfect day. Now it was just a hurtful memory.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Gubler could feel the anger coming from Paget's eyes as he came clean and told her the whole story. They were at his house drinking beer and talking. Mostly Matthew was doing all the talking, while his best friend decided which was the best moment to hit him.

- "You are fucked"- Paget simply said as he kept talking. He stopped and frowned. But nothing came from his mouth- "I can't believe you did that! You are disgusting, Matthew!!"

Paget lost it for a second. She never, in all the years she had known her best friend, ever thought he could do such a thing.

- "I know"

- "I just... why did you do it?"

- "I was drunk!"

- "That's not an excuse!! You've been drunk before! And your cock hadn't ended up in your ex-girlfriend's mouth, so be honest with me and tell me what the fuck happened?"

- "I don't know! When I noticed it wasn't Joey, I stopped it all!"

- "You thought your girlfriend was sucking your cock?"

- "Yes!"

- "And why did you make out with those girls at the dancefloor?! Everybody saw you!"

- "I lost it for a second, 'cos I was scared Joey might cheat!"- Matthew murmured and looked at the floor, so ashamed of his own words.

- "And you did it 'cos you were scared she would?!"- Paget yelled and smacked his head- "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

- "I don't know!"- the boy rubbed his hands against his face feeling the anger filling his whole body- "Don't you think I regret it?! I hate myself! I was stupid!"

- "Yes! You were fucking stupid! Do you know what it takes to get someone to love you the way she does?! Do you know how hard it is to find someone as weird as you?!"

- "I know it's hard! I know it's fucking impossible, and I know I fucked it up! But I need you to help me fix this!"

- "You could start by going to see her and beg for forgiveness!"

- "That's what I want to do, but mom said I have to give her a few days to calm down."

- "She is right, and you have to calm down too."

- "She said I sound like a mad man."

- "Madder than usual, yes"- Paget nodded, still serious- "And where is she now?"

- "Spain, she has a huge festival show tomorrow, it's gonna be televised..."

- "So you get to see her live?"- he nodded- "And after that?"

- "Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, she is only staying one day at those places, she is traveling by bus, so she is going to be stuck with the band all the time. And those guys hate me."

- "Right now, I hate you too."

- "Please stop hating me and help me find a way to get to her 'cos I know they are not gonna let me."

- "They have nothing to do with this whole situation! What are you talking about?"

- "Well, they've always been very protective of her, which used to bother me a lot, until I realized they loved her like a little sister, and she is happy with that 'cos she doesn't have many friends."- Matthew was talking very fast, as the words kept coming nonstop- "Eventually, we got closer, especially with Mikey. He is like her older brother on the road, and he is so fucking nice to her for a moment, I thought he was in love with her. But it turns out he loves her as a sister, which made me happy 'cos it meant she wasn't alone in that tour."

- "To the point, Matthew."- Paget sighed, annoyed.

- "Yeah, sorry. What happened was I called her after our fight, and Frank picked up the phone and told me he is going to kill me if he ever sees me again, and threaten me to beat the shit out of me if I ever try to get near her."

- "What at asshole!"

- "I know!"

- "You completely deserved that!"

- "Paget!!"

- "You would do that for me if someone breaks my heart, so deal with it"- Gubler nodded and for a second, then chuckled.

- "A few months ago, Joey told me the same thing..."- he sighed and stayed in silence- "I miss her so much it hurts."

- "I know"

- "I need to get her back..."- his friend didn't say a word, just rubbed his arm gently and cut him a short smile.

Paget couldn't promise him he was going to get her back 'cos she knew how much it hurt being cheated on, and she had never forgiven a guy for that. And by everything Matthew had told her about Joey so far, she knew she wasn't going to do that either. But she couldn't tell him to give up either. She knew he wasn't going to.

Joey sighed. The movie was over, and she was starting to feel tired. She was afraid to sleep though, she knew she would dream with Matthew Gray, and it hurt to even think about it.

- "Ready to get some rest?"- Gerard whispered. She didn't move- "I know you are awake."

- "Are you a psychic?"- she whispered, and he just smiled.

- "I can see your reflex on the screen"- he caressed her hair softly- "Do you need anything?"

- "No... thanks."

- "Do you want me to stay over tonight?"- Gerard simply asked, making sure it sounded like no big deal, though he could hyperventilate if she ever said yes- "I wouldn't mind."

- "I think I could use some time on my own"- Joey answered and moved on the bed, sitting next to him

- "I get it..."

- "Thank you, though. Thank you for taking care of me today and for bringing me so many things."

- "Hey, don't thank me for it. I'm glad I could make you smile even a little bit"- Gerard murmured and tuck some hair behind Joey's ear softly- "I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be so happy."

She didn't move, mostly 'cos she had spaced out thinking about Matthew again. She didn't seem to have room in her head for any other thought but him.

Gerard saw this as a chance to move a little further. He kept his hand in her hair and moved it slowly down to the backside of her neck. The girl chilled and looked into his eyes. That look, it wasn't a friendly one, and she just noticed it.

- "Joey, you deserve so much better than what he did to you, and if it were for me, I would give you everything, my whole life."

- "Thank you, Gerard"- she whispered and smiled- "You are a good friend."

- "I wasn't saying that as a friend."

Way smiled and moved closer to her, his nose touching hers. She didn't move. She didn't know what to do, actually. She had always thought he was incredibly hot, but she never wanted to cheat on Matthew. But now, that didn't matter anymore.

Gerard moved a few centimeters closer, and his lips touched Joey's. Electricity ran down his back as he kissed her slowly, just to make sure she wasn't going to move away. She didn't. And slowly, she kissed him back.

His hands cupped her face carefully as Gerard increased the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips. They tasted like chocolate, and they felt warm against his. It was blissful. It was like all the months he had to wait to feel that kiss had been completely worthy. That was the best kiss he had ever given, and his heart was rising so much, he thought it was going to escape from his chest.

Joey wasn't thinking. She wasn't at all. She just went along with the kiss 'cos it felt nice. And it also felt like payback. Like if by kissing Gerard, she was getting sweet revenge for what Matthew had done to her.

Gerard increased the kiss a little more, biting her lower lip and moving her closer to him. He wrapped an arm tight around her and kept a hand playing from her cheek to her neck slowly. Joey was enjoying this, Way was a pretty good kisser, and it was honestly a kiss she had thought about a million times. But it felt empty, like the kind of kiss you give to a random guy when you are drunk at a party. And this wasn't a random guy. This was her colleague, her married colleague.

- "Stop"- she whispered and broke the kiss.

- "What is it?"- she landed her hands on Gerard's chest and pushed him away softly.

- "This is wrong."

- "Why?"- Joey frowned as he held her hands and looked confused.

- "Well, apart from the obvious"- she said and pointed at his wedding right- "I'm at the lowest point of my life, and we work together. I can't afford to lose my job right now, so kissing one of my colleagues seems like a pretty shitty idea to me."

- "Not to me."

- "Gerard... that's your cock talking,"- Joey stood up and looked at him.

- "I've longed to kiss you for a long while"- he confessed following her and standing right in front of her- "And I've got the feeling so did you."

- "That's not the point. This it's wrong."

- "But it felt good, and you know it."

Gerard leaned to her, held her face, and pressed his lips against her, this time in a passionate kiss that made Joey feel weak on her knees. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his hands on her waist, moving her closer. So close that she could feel his erection, rubbing against her body.

- "You should go"- Joey whispered, gasping for air as she moved from his lips.

- "But I wanna stay"- she shook her head immediately.

- "You have to go, Gerard."

- "But, Sugar"- he murmured and rubbed his lips against her. She let him go slowly and looked at him, shaking her head again- "Ok..."- he grabbed his jacket and his shoes and landed a soft kiss on Joey's cheek- "Good night, sugar."

- "Bye, Gerard."

The singer walked out of that room and sighed. That had been the best kiss of his life. But Joey was right; it had been a mistake. However, it was a mistake he wanted to make ever since he first saw her. Still, he had just cheated on his wife. But that was a thought he needed to ignore at the moment. He had kissed the girl he loved. And he was in heaven.

Joey was in hell. She hated herself so much she wanted to die. She brushed her teeth over and over again, tears falling from her eyes. Her head hurt after so many days of crying. She had kissed another guy. And though Matthew had done the same to her, she still felt guilty and dirty. She was so sorry for what she had done; she knew it had been a terrible mistake. She didn't even want to face Gerard after that.

He was so eager for her, he had been holding that kiss for a long time, and he simply confessed it, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It meant Matthew had been right all along; Gerard had a thing on her, something that had ended up being a hot kiss. A very hot kiss. And if she hadn't stopped him, it was clear where Gerard wanted to go.

- "He had a boner for Christ Sakes!"- the girl argued, walking back to bed- "A fucking boner!"- she got under the covers, wrapping her arms around her legs, biting her lips so hard she nearly drawn blood.

Kissing someone else while still in love with Matthew didn't feel right. She didn't want to do it again. No matter how hot Gerard was. She missed her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. How was she ever going to get over him? She knew it was impossible. You don't love someone that much and successfully take him from your heart.

It was a good thing that Mikey had her phone, 'cos she felt the urge to call Matthew at the moment. That would have been stupid, and she knew it. But still, it physically hurt to miss him so much. She needed to talk to him. But Mikey had her phone... he didn't have her computer, though.

She looked for it in her backpack and started it on right away.

- "What the fuck are you doing?"- she asked herself out loud as she stared at the screen- "You can't talk to him... you are going to cave in."

Joey brushed her hands against her face and closed the computer. But after a few minutes, she poured herself a glass of whiskey and opened it again. She had decided to check her mail, and maybe Twitter, nothing related to her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

But her inbox was filled with emails from Matthew. At least twenty. Her stomach tightened as soon as she saw them. She took a sip of whiskey and opened the first one. It was sent the night before, probably after Frank had yelled at him and turned off her phone.

"I'm so sorry Yami, I know I was stupid and drunk, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. But I need you to know you are the only woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much it hurts to think of a day without even hearing your voice."

Joey was already crying. This wasn't healthy. Why was she doing it? She needed to sleep. She needed to get her mind from Matthew. But the memory of Gerard's kisses was right there hunting her too. She poured herself another whiskey and walked around the room. Maybe she could drink herself to sleep. But, she had a huge gig the next day, and she had to be professional.

- "Fuck! I wanna die..."- she sobbed and opened the next mail.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, and I get it. I just need you to understand how much I love you and that I'm willing to do anything to fix this, anything you want, everything you ask; I'll do it, but please, please don't leave me."

- "I have to stop this..."- she took another sip of her whiskey and whipped off her tears. She walked to the phone and talked to the front desk.

- "Hello, sorry to bother you, but can you please connect me with room 1201? Thank you"- the girl waited in line for what felt like ages until she heard Mikey's half-asleep.

- "Joey, are you ok?"

- "No, I'm not ok. Can you come and sleep with me, please?"

- "I'll be right there"- Joey stayed still, eyes glued on the screen, reading over and over again the last mail she had opened.

Mikey didn't even knock. He still had her key, so he just walked into the room in boxers and shirt, shoeless and with his hair made a huge mess. Mikey didn't say a word either; he just took the computer away from her and closed it, grabbed the glass, drank what was left of her whiskey, and got Joey under the covers of the bed. She was shaking and crying quietly.

- "You are gonna be ok Bug, I swear, please try to get some sleep"- he said and held her tight, spooning her- "I'm right here, I'm going to take care of you, ok?"- she nodded and sighed- "Now close your eyes and sleep, I've got you, ok? I've got you."

Joey sniffed and sobbed a little, feeling how her brother's arms tightened around her.

- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You did the same for me. I owe you my life at this point. I'm never going to leave you."

Back in Los Angeles, Matthew was drunk, calling and calling Joey without any result. Her phone was off, her voicemail was full. So he continued writing emails. At least he could put his heart out in a way, though he had no idea if she was ever going to read them.

Paget, next to him, tried to stop him. But it was useless. The boy wanted to write and ignored everything else.

- "Matthew, Matthew"- she said and shook her arm- "Buy the fucking plane ticket to see her!"

- "Yes!!"- he kind of shouted and took a paper from his pocket- "This is Yami's tour schedule... the movie ends in two days, I can go take a plane straight from the set... so I have to go to Oslo if I wanna catch her."

- "Nice! Bring souvenirs"- his friend smiled, trying to cheer him up

- "Deal"- the boy grabbed his credit card and booked the first flight he found to Norway- "You know it is our anniversary next 17th, if everything goes right, we could actually celebrate our first year together."

- "Please, Matthew, and I need you to listen to me"- Paget said seriously and looked into her best friend's eyes, making sure he would understand her, though he was wasted- "Please, whatever you do, don't fuck it up! ok?"

- "Yes."

- "'Cos this is going to be the only chance you'll get to talk to her and fix everything. Trust me."

Gubler nodded with widened eyes. He was drunk, tired, and devastated, but still, he got how serious and honest Paget was with him. He knew he wasn't going to get many chances to get Joey back. And maybe that was going to be the only one.

**

taglist @all-tings-diego @worryd0ll

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#mcr #matthew gray gubler #gerard way #mikey way #frank iero #matthew gray gubler x oc #ray toro #three cheers for sweet revenge #babymetaldoll writes

[xtrashmammalstefx]

Asshole (A Nikki Sixx x Reader Smut)

Requested by: @xcazzax

Warnings: Smut, cussing, honestly it’s Motley Crue what did you expect?

If there’s one universal fact I’ve learned since agreeing to be a personal assistant to my older brother’s band it’s this: Nikki Sixx is a fucking asshole!

I swear the dick had had it out for me since day one, and for no fucking reason too. Mick had just introduced us when he first came at me like a fucking nut job.

“Get out,” he said. We were gathered at his place, the guys needing to work on new music. I was ready to help out in any way that I could but, um, well…

“Why?” I asked.

“Because you’re fucking distracting everybody,” Nikki snapped at me. “In case you haven’t noticed sweetheart we’re a rock band and your employers. We’re not your friends, free dicks that you can fuck, and we’re no fucking babysitters. So do us all a favor and let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.”

“Do you get off on being such an asshole?”

“Almost as much as you get off on being a bitch!” He said lighting a cigarette.

“EXCUSE ME?!”

“You’re excused,” he said blowing smoke in my direction.

I balled up my fists fuming, but before I could start throwing punches Mick was pulling me towards the kitchen. “NOT FUCKING COOL MAN!” He snapped at Nikki. Once in the kitchen, he let me go and turned to me. “Look, Y/N, I can bullshit you and say he’s an absolute fucking peach when you get to know him. But since you’re my little sister and I love you and all that I’m gonna tell you the truth. Being an asshole comes easy to Nikki. It’s the only way he really knows how to be.”

“And that’s supposed to make it okay?”

“Fuck no! We have a hard time trying not to kill the son of a bitch on most days,” Mick laughed. “The trick is not letting him get to you.”

“You know we’re talking about Nikki right?” I said, “How the fuck am I supposed to NOT let him get to me when he’s proven himself able to press my fucking buttons?!”

“By not losing your head for one,” he said. “Keep in mind, Y/N, just because his shell is tougher than a fucking turtle’s don’t mean it won’t crack.”

“When did you get all wise old man?” I teased.

“Ha ha,” he rolled his eyes. “By the way, you can stick around today fuck what Nikki says.”

We then stepped back into the living room. “The hell are you still doing here?”

“Earning a paycheck shithead,” I said. “By the way the fact that you thought you could scare me off is adorable.”

He let out what sounded like a hushed angry growl. “You could’ve at least gotten me a beer.” I threw a pillow at his head. “Bitch.”

“Asshole,” I muttered.

Time passed as they continued to work on their album. During that time I started to realize that if Nikki did have a shell it was going to take a moment with the power of a fucking nuke to crack it. He was ruthless but I persisted.

Every now and then I would give the guys my input on their songs (which Nikki took with a grain of salt). One song, in particular, hit me really fucking hard. It was called ‘Home Sweet Home’ and it was a fucking masterpiece.

“Guys that was fucking beautiful!” I exclaimed one day after they finished recording it.

“Yeah?!” Tommy said smiling from ear to ear. Aside from my brother he was my favorite member of the band; mostly because he never failed to make me laugh with his stupidity.

“Yeah,” I said. “It has a lot of heart and just fucks you up in all the right ways. Which one of you wrote it?”

“I did,” Tommy said proudly. “With, uh, a little help.”

“Who from?” I asked noticing how nervous he got. In fact, Tommy, Mick, and Vince all had a look of ‘oh shit’ on their faces.

Vince was the one who lifted his hand and pointed his thumb in Nikki’s direction.

“You’re shitting me!” I said stunned. “You mean to tell me that this son of a bitch has a fucking heart?!”

“When convenient,” he huffed. “Otherwise it’s a big fucking black hole like yours sugar.”

“Don’t call me that,” I cringed. He just laughed and walked out to have a smoke.

After the recording came the tour and fuck did things get worse.

According to the bunk assignments I was situated in the middle between my brother and Vince. Nikki had the bunk across from me beneath Tommy, and he damn well knew that.

I lost count on how many times I came back onto the bus to find Nikki fucking some groupie on my bunk. “FOR FUCKS SAKE NIKKI!” I snapped on one occasion after the millionth time I caught him.

“FUCK OFF Y/N!” He snapped on me.

“IT’S MY FUCKING BUNK ASSHOLE! YOURS IS THE ONE THAT SMELLS LIKE ASS!”

“Actually that smell might be from mine,” Tommy laughed.

From behind my curtain, I could hear Nikki growl in frustration. “WILL YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?!”

“GOD NIKKI JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP ALREADY!” said the female voice joining him.

“Oh, I see,” I laughed. “You have a limp dick and that’s why you’re so bitchy all the time!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“No thanks,” I walked away laughing my ass off.

Finally, after months on the road, the time came when we were able to crash at a hotel. Being a lady I got my own room and could only pray Nikki would keep his fucking groupies out of it.

One night after Mick and I had gotten back from dinner their manager approached me claiming there was a change in the setlist (thanks to Vince who thought the original order wasn’t as fantastic as it could have been) and that he wanted me to deliver copies of them to Tommy and Nikki.

I could hear noises from the other side of Tommy’s door so I slipped the setlist in the crack underneath and moved on to the rat. I didn’t hear much from his room so I let myself in. He was in the process of stripping a bottle blond from her clothes. “What the fuck Y/N?!”

“Sorry to intrude but Vince changed the setlist,” I said tossing him the paper. “Good damn night.”

“Fucking knock next time!”

“I don’t use manners on assholes!” I said making my way out the door.

“BITCH!”

“DAMN PROUD OF IT!” I snapped back closing the door.

I went back to my room, took a long hot shower, and changed into my pajamas; an Iron Maiden t-shirt and plaid shorts. I’d been tossing and turning for what felt like a long time when…

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Nikki burst into my room slamming the door behind him.

“What the fuck?!” I nearly jumped. “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!”

“YEAH! YEAH, I AM! THANKS TO FUCKING YOU!”

“What the fuck did I do?!”

“YOU FUCKED ME UP!” he snapped at me. “I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO BANG A SINGLE PIECE OF ASS THANKS TO YOU!”

“Are you serious blaming me for your limp dick?!”

“YOU’RE THE REASON IT’S FUCKING LIMP!” he shouted. “AND KRISTA JUST FUCKING LEFT AND YOU KNOW WHY SHE FUCKING LEFT?!”

“‘Cause you couldn’t get it up?” I teased.

“Because she said I changed when you entered my fucking room!” Nikki said glaring at me. “She said I looked at you differently than I did her. I told her she was fucking nuts!”

“Charming,” I said my voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Then she told me why I looked at you differently,” he said gritting his teeth. “You wanna know what she said before she walked out on me?! WHY I FUCKING LOOKED AT YOU DIFFERENTLY?!”

He was on my bed crashing his lips to mine before I had a chance to say anything. And to my great surprise, I fucking liked it. Nikki pulled back when I didn’t kiss him back. “Fuck!” He started walking away but I caught his hand before he could get too far. He looked back on me confused.

I reached up and pulled him by his shirt bringing his mouth back down to mine. He kissed me hungrily; his body trembling. I inched my hands up his shirt until he got the hint and took it off. He then lifted mine off over my head. “Fuck I love Iron Maiden...but I think I love you more.”

Nikki became an entirely different man then. He was sweet and vulnerable and not the tough asshole he always appeared to be.

“Asshole,” I muttered.

“Bitch,” he smiled.

We continued to kiss and rid each other of clothing until there was nothing left.  Nikki kissed me sensually as his limp dick finally became harder than the neck of his guitar. He pulled back. “God I fucking love you,” he whispered before pushing himself in. We both moaned at the thrust as though getting a release we both desperately needed.

Nikki moved in me differently than he had with the groupies. With them, he was wild (and that’s just based on the sounds) but with me, he was gentle...passionate.

I would run my hand up his back only to feel him tremble at my touch. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.”

After a while, he began thrusting faster and harder. “Nikki,” I moaned. “Fuck baby…” He then found my sweet spot and started using it to his advantage. “OH FUCK!” I clung to him as he continued to hit that spot with his length. A familiar tension began to build within me. “NIKKI!”

My toes curled up and my spine arched as I came. Nikki’s thrusts grew sloppy after that until…

“FUCK!” he growled painting the inside of me with his seed. He held onto me until he was completely empty. Breathing heavily he pulled himself out and laid down beside me. I turned and placed my head on his chest.

“H-How long?” I asked.

“How long what?” he asked.

“How long have you loved me?”

He sighed. “Since the second you walked into my door.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“Then why act like I was the worst person you knew?”

“Because love is the most foreign emotion I have ever felt. Hate I was used to; I got plenty of it from my parents and vice versa. But love..?” he shook his head. “I’ve never felt that before or had anyone feel that for me. So when I felt it for you I freaked out. I thought… fuck here we go again another person for me to care about only to have her break me into a million pieces. I didn’t want to go through that so I avoided it and tried to get you to be as distant as possible. You’re perfect Y/N. Too perfect to have an asshole like me fuck everything up.”

“Nikki shut up,” I said shaking my head. “You’re not the only one who tried to avoid the inevitable. I’ve had my heart broken so many times by assholes I thought I loved that I didn’t know if I could go through it again. I didn’t know you would be so different.”

“So will you be mine?” Nikki said brushing my cheek with his hand.

I smiled up at him and nodded. “So does this mean you’ll stop being an asshole?”

“To you yeah. The other’s are still fucked.”

“Really?” I laughed.

He laughed with me. “Babe the day I stop being an asshole is the day you stop being a bitch.”

“So never?”

“Exactly.”

Nikki and I were together for a long time after that and eventually, he asked one big fucking question.

“Y/N will you be Mrs. Asshole?”

#nikki sixx #The Dirt #Douglas Booth #Smut

[razgriz2520]

Announcements from JKT48 8th Anniversary Concert

1. There will be Handshake Event once a month

These events will be held at JKT48 Theater. The usual bigger handshake event (Handshake Festival) will still be held every 3 months.

2. Live Streaming for Theater Show

3. Songs from Theater shows will be released to Spotify and other streaming services

4. JKT48 Camping

Members will do special camping event alongside fans.

5. Boku no Taiyou as Academy A’s new theater setlist

Boku no Taiyou will replace Pajama Drive as Academy A’s setlist.

6. New theater setlist for Team KIII

The new setlist will replace Saka Agari which have been performed for more than a year.

7. Viny as Team KIII’s Temporary Captain 

Viny will fill KIII’s Captain position temporarily until her graduation show at JKT48 Theater. Team KIII was captain-less after their previous captain, Yona, graduated.

8. JKT48 Janken Competition 2020

9. JKT48 x SKE48 collaboration

The project is a way for JKT48 to have close relationship with 48 Groups in Japan, especially SKE48. First activity will be both members from respective groups to go and promote their city. 

10. Team Reshuffle (Effective 1 January 2020)

The remaining 11 members of Team T are shuffled into Team J & Team KIII. This also became Team T’s second disbandment after the first original Team T.

- Concurrent

Anin : J & KIII 

- Moved to J

Lala . Celine . Melati . Lisa . Brielle

- Moved to KIII 

Jinan . Aby . Pucchi . Fia . Nanda 

11. Senshūraku for Seifuku no Me (Team T)

The setlist will have its final show in late December after the reshuffle which also became Team T’s disbandment. A new Team T (probably from promoted Academy A members) will be formed.

12. Beby announced her graduation

Gaby appointed as the new overall captain after Beby’s announcement.

#JKT48 #JKT48 Anniversary #JKT48 8th Anniversary #Announcements #48G #48 Group #48 Family #48 Members #AKB48 Group #AKB48 #BNK48 #MNL48 #SGO48 #AKB48 Team TP #AKB48 Team SH #CGM48

[queen-rogah]

Chasing Dreams - Part 9

A Queen Series AU

Series summary: In the year of 1971, you dreamed to be the best musician/performer that you'll ever be. And upon achieving your dream, you have met the four musicians that would surprisingly help you to chase your dreams. The story of you and the rising band is deeply life-changing, and even finding love would get in the way, but all you have to do in chasing those dreams is to always face the consequences...

In this chapter: Freddie took you to his parents house as you've met his sister and his mother. You called your family back home and told them the good news that you're finally performing on the pub at Friday nights. Freddie showed you the new name of Smile that he's been working on for months then you all celebrated Victoria's birthday in Brighton. Brian told you about a job which made you think about accepting it.

Wanings: fluffy goodies, language

Word Count: 4.8k+ words

*MASTERLIST*

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8

♡♡♡ PART NINE: "THE OUTRAGEOUS BAND" ♡♡♡

You put an X on the calendar where your's and Smile's first performance in Crown & Anchor yesterday. It's already Tuesday today and you fixed your setlist in the most awaited performance of your beginning life here in Kensington. Vicky's birthday will be tomorrow, that's why she's planning on celebrating with us through a small, simple party in Brighton beach. You remember her last night calling up her boss if they want her to give that day off tomorrow for her birthday celebration. Well, after an hour of begging for it. She got the permission and will be celebrating her birthday tomorrow. Freddie also listed some foods and phoned his mother if there are still extra rugs at their house just blocks away from his place.

Now, he just asked you if you want to tag along to go get the vintage rugs at his family house, since Vicky is still unavailable for her work.

Of course you didn't say no.

You both change up and took the cab to his place, your eyes wandering around this neighborhood. Freddie kept sharing his memories around this place, telling how he met Brian since they just live close before. And also shared how he met Tim Staffel, the original lead singer of Smile, in his university back in the day. He said that they both take the same courses of arts that's why he met him there. And then the rest is history.

"Actually, you're the second woman I brought home to meet my family. And don't worry darling, my parents are good just like yours too." He said to you because he's noticing that you're a tad bit tense while sitting here in the moving vehicle.

"Piss off Fred, I'm not tensed," You blow raspberries and rolled your eyes. "I'm just nervous for my own self that I'm meeting new people again. Maybe I'll mess up in introducing myself."

"No, you won't." He pats your shoulder and just in time he puts his hand down on his lap again. The cab stopped right in front of this small house--just a cute family house with plenty of plants outside. You both thanked the cab driver and gave the fare before stepping out of the vehicle. Standing in front of this house that holds Freddie's memories.

Freddie fixed his clothes and walk towards the front door, slowly knocking on the wooden door. Just a few seconds later, someone opened the door to see a beautiful looking teenager in front of us with this long black hair cascading down her back.

"Hello Freddie." She smiles at him.

"Kash, great to see you again." Freddie laughs and pull her in a sweet hug. You watch them hug like there's no tomorrow as a smile slowly crept in your face. When they pull away, Freddie motions to your direction beside him, "This is Y/N actually. Y/N, Kashmira, Kashmira, Y/N."

"Nice to meet you." You said, holding out your hand as she happily shook it.

"Nice to meet you too. I'm this bastard's sister." Kash giggles as you heard Freddie chuckled beside you. Now grinning on what his little sister have said. They don't look nothing alike but you felt Kash's personality just as her own brother here. "Well, I'm sorry for keeping you guys there. You may come in."

"Where's mum and papa?." Freddie asked as you both stepped inside the house. Your eyes quickly found some pictures of the family where you've seen little Freddie and Kash, and then some pictures of Freddie as a child which made you smile while you're looking at it. Especially the picture of him as a baby with the most beautiful smile while laying on his stomach.

"Beta?."

You turn your head towards the hallway leading to the living room to see a middle-aged woman, wearing eyeglasses and a dress. Your heart skipped a beat when you are now standing before Freddie's mother.

"Mum." Freddie approaches his mother and hugged her tightly, leaving a sweet kiss on her cheek. Then her eyes soon found yours. "Mum, this is Y/N. My friend."

"Hello, nice to finally meet you." You shyly said, shaking hands with her.

Jer is a very gentle soul, like Freddie himself. She's so glad that Freddie is surely making more friends like you. She let you sit in their living room for a bit and wait for Freddie to get the rugs from their basement. And then Kashmira sat beside you on the couch.

"How did you meet Fred?." Kash asked, flashing you a small smile when you turn to look at her.

"I--uh, me and Freddie actually met back in my hometown, in West Hampstead--"

"--West Hampstead? That's a long way. Why is he there?." Kash questioned again, cutting you off.

"He and the band went there to perform in my father's pub. Well, I also performed in the same night with them and I--"

"You're also a musician dear?." Jer also asked away. A smile forming on her lips that she finally met a friend of her son who's a musician too, other than the boys in Smile.

"I...guess I am, yeah." You dryly chuckled, tucking in the loose strand of your hair in the back of your ear.

Freddie soon came back with the two rugs in his hands, it's not that big so it's easy to carry. You stood up from the couch to help him there.

"What did you talked about while I'm gone upstairs?." Freddie puts his hand on his hips.

"We just knew that she's a musician, just like you beta. And...your father won't be coming home until sundown. I think you won't be waiting on him anymore..." Jer said, approaching Freddie and cup his face. "I miss you dearly my son, ever since you moved out." She smiled.

Your heart skipped a beat to see this mother-son moment which is the sweetest thing.

Kash is also smiling down on her brother.

"Even though I moved out, I always visit you right? I'm never abandoning you mum. You, Kash and Papa." Freddie mumbled under his breath as he puts the rug down on the floor and hugged his mother.

"And we better get going. Y/N will be having her first performance in Crown & Anchor this Friday and we need to go down the grocery to buy some foods to eat at Victoria's birthday tomorrow." Freddie said, picking up the rag again from the floor.

"Good for you my dear! I'm hoping for success in your performance." Jer softly holds your hand as you nod your head.

"Thank you so much Jer. That means a lot to me." You beamed.

"And greet Victoria for us Fred!." Kash said and Freddie nod his head. He quickly put a kiss on his mother's cheek and tell your goodbyes. You followed Freddie out of the house to get some cab.

You looked back at Jer and Kash, two of the most nicest people you've met today wave goodbye to the both of you. When Freddie finally got a cab, he opened the car door for you first as you hop inside. Waving goodbye to them again before the car starts to drive away. Their house soon disappearing from the far distance. You and Freddie shared stories on the way to the groceries to buy some foods and some needs to the picnic.

...

It's Wednesday. It's Victoria's 25th birthday and now she's listening to the records of The Beatles in the living room early in the morning as your groggy self sat up from the pull-out bed. She's already cooking some breakfast while blasting off the music.

"Happy Birthday Vicky, but please...turn down the volume please?." You asked with your hoarse tone, still in the sleepy state.

She didn't hear you through the music as she still flipping those pancakes she made--with her own batter.

"Vicky--"

"Good morning darling and Happy Birthday my love!." Freddie soon shouted from the door way of their room. Still in his pajamas, you look over to the clock to see it's still 7AM and you regret on sleeping so late last night because you're finishing this song that's inside your head for the whole day.

You plop yourself back down the bed and stare at the ceiling. You can totally feel the dark bags underneath your eyes.

"Hey, you're already up." Freddie soon sat on the sofa, looking down at you from the floor.

"Yeah, not until you both came in with that noise you made." You murmured, now standing up from the bed and fixed it before sitting with him on the sofa.

Victoria soon came in the room, wearing that apron and a spatula in her hand. She lower down the volume of the record player, "Hey you two, breakfast is ready. I know Y/N is the master of making breakfast but I did my best in the pancakes." She chuckles.

You smiled at Victoria, "You're the master of making pancakes Vicky, and...Happy Birthday!." You exclaim, approaching her and give her a huge hug which she happily hugged you back too.

It's been almost two weeks since you're living with these people in this small place, but full of huge memories. Now, you're celebrating one of Vicky's special day, on Brighton, over-viewing the Palace Pier and hearing the waves of the sea.

...

It's now 4PM, in an hour, Roger will come over with his van together with the others and finally leave for Brighton so that the view of the sunset will be perfect. Victoria is already in the shower, you just finished dressing up and Freddie is in their room, probably dressing up too. You soon phoned your father again, asking what's happening back home and how's their life there without his daughters with him. At the third ring, your father finally picked up.

"Hello?." You finally heard his voice that made you smile.

"Dad, it's Y/N."

"Y/N! I'm so glad you called again dear! How are you?." He exclaims.

You chuckled, "I was about to ask the same thing. But I'm good back here, we're about to take off in an hour to Brighton to celebrate the birthday of Freddie's girlfriend, Victoria." You stated.

"Well then, take care of yourselves to Brighton. That will take...maybe 2 hours on the road from there. And I'm fine back home, your mother actually have a week off on Christmas, hoping you and your sister will come home by that time so that we'll do the dinner tradition again. Just like old times." He said.

"I'll tell Rosalie about that and convince her to come home with me. She's working and I never see her that much since she's too busy..." You sighed. Freddie soon came out of the room, shooting you a smile. "And I have good news Dad."

Freddie sat on the sofa while looking at you, smiling as he knew what you're going to say. You took a deep breath before saying, "I am performing in a local pub this Friday night." You exclaimed.

"You're performing?! In a local pub?! The people will finally know you there darling! I'm so proud of you!." He said in so much joy.

And now, you can't help but to cry in so much happiness.

"I wish you guys will be there at my first performance in a pub where nobody else knew me. All of you back there, you and mom, Jonathan, all my friends..." You said. Clutching the phone closer to your ear since it's slipping out of your slightly shaky hands.

"I wish too dear that we'll be there, but your sister will be there, together with Brian and the others. You have friends back there who will watch you. Motivate you in some way." Your father said, trying to cheer you up.

Then you brought up a smile on your face again, "Okay. Just tell Jonathan I called, tell him everything Dad." You sniffle, wiping the small tears away.

You just realized that Freddie wasn't in the living room already, maybe he went to the kitchen for something. When you look at the clock again, you see it's already 4:15 and you still have to help Freddie to fix the food you'll bring with in the kitchen.

"Dad, I have to go. We still have more stuffs to do. Say hi to Jonathan and the others. I love you and I miss you." You mumbled.

"Take care of yourself back there Y/N okay? I'll tell Jonathan you called. Love you so much and I miss you dearly." He answered. You said your last goodbyes before hanging up.

You went in the kitchen, seeing Freddie already putting the foods on the basket as you quickly help him put the others in it.

"I already left the living room when you opened those water gates. You know, give you some privacy." Freddie spoke in the silence between you and him. A soft laugh came from your lips as you look at him through your lashes.

"I'm sorry I'm too emotional. I just miss them so much." You mumbled. When you both finished your work, you just waited for Victoria to get ready. You're leaning against the counter while Freddie is silently sitting across you, on his usual seat on the dining table.

"How's...Roger by the way?." You asked out of the blue. That made the singer smirk at you and lay his chin on his hand, his elbows supporting it.

"Out of any topic we want to discuss dear, you want to ask about our owm gorgeous blond drummer?." Freddie teased. That smug smirk still displayed on his face.

You blushed as you bite down your lip. "I just want you to answer my question Fred. I never heard of him in days." You chuckled.

"Well, Roger is still actually studying with his biology thingy. He mentions about...uh, horti--something..."

"Horticulture, you say?." You laughed, got amused about him not being able to pronounce the word.

"Yes, that or whatever it is." Freddie laughs at himself as he waves off his hand.

"Where is he studying though?." You asked, arms crossing in front of your chest.

"In Kew Gardens. I can't believe that one hell of a rising rockstar drummer is studying in cultivating plants." Freddie chuckles, reaching in his pockets to pull out a cig, lighting it up and took a drag.

"Gardening is cute though." You grinned. Still had that blush plastered on your face.

"Darling, if you're still silent about your feelings to him, well you're a coward. You need to say that you like our blondie." Freddie responds, raising his brows at you.

You sighed then a laugh escaped your lips, "It's...it's not that easy Fred. I can't find the right words when I will do that." You stifled a laugh while shaking your head. Not agreeing on what he's saying.

"Tough girl like you can do it Y/N." He said, still pushing through.

When you saw his familiar sketch book on the dining table again, you pointed at it, "Mind showing me some new artworks?." You asked, completely subsiding the topic earlier into a new one again.

Freddie sighed, "Well uh, actually darling, I want to ask you something..." He said, reaching over to the sketch book and opened it, scanning a few pages before stopping on a certain page. It's the same drawing you saw from before, but now it's done. You finally see the full phoenix drawing, the detailed lions, a crab and two fairies. Then you look over to the page beside it, where you see the word Queen with the most stylish lettering you've ever seen.

"Queen? Are you a royalty fan...or something?." You asked him. Feeling so clueless.

"No darling, this is it. This is the new name of Smile." Freddie said as he smiled at you. You processed his words in your mind as you blinked your eyes, feeling lost about it.

"You want to change the name of the band? That's really a tough decision." You murmured.

Freddie lift up the book in the level of his face as he still studies it, looking for mistakes in the drawing. "The boys already saw this drawing before, I planned on replacing the name into something...you know, outrageous. Like the Queen, or...actually me." Freddie smirked to himself.

You chuckled in his statement about himself.

"And what did the boys say?." You raised your brows at him.

"They love it." He smirks. Closing his sketch book.

...

You sat on the passenger seat just beside Roger who's driving the van on the way to Brighton. It's been an hour, already keeping up on the second hour since he's driving, the others are sitting in the back. Freddie is with the birthday girl, Victoria while they are talking about something. His arms were around her, which is the sweetest thing. Brian and your sister, Rosalie are sitting together too, hands intertwined. And John, this cutie John found his own girl days ago as they start dating by now, her name is Genevieve. She had this beautiful ginger curly locks and she's actually the nicest girl you've ever met.

They all have their own dates, while you're here all alone and single and you don't know if Roger is actually seeing someone in his life since he's always alone while the others have their own love ones. Maybe he's hiding a secret someone, maybe he met her in studying Horticulture.

"In deep thought?." You suddenly heard the blond drummer speak up, but his eyes are focused on the road.

"Oh," You chuckled, "Actually yes, because we're going in Brighton. We all have our friends, they brought their own dates while you are a one-man standing tonight Mr. Taylor." You said to him, like an act of a tease.

He let out a soft chuckle, "I guess the women I've been with are scared of commitment. These people have found the right person who are really willing in commiting themselves. I'm still finding the right girl." He said.

You just have to respond to him but Freddie came in your conversation with him, "I think Y/N has something important to say." Freddie said, fake coughing to signal you to tell what you feel about Roger. Ever since his flirty ass came into your life, you shouldn't be scared in telling the truth to him because what if he feels the same way?

But, "Fuck off Freddie. There's nothing important..." You look back at him, glaring at the singer.

Freddie just bites down his lip as he teases you. You also heard Victoria asking what's happening as he whispered it in her ear. Now, the couple is smirking behind your back.

The drive soon went crazy when The Kinks came playing in the radio. Your hands tapping together with the beat, Freddie was banging his head while Victoria is singing the lyrics. You also sang the rest of the lyrics.

"Girl, you really got me goin', You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' now. Yeah, you really got me now. You got me so I can't sleep at night..." You sang, bobbing your head up and down.

You all enjoyed the song through the end of it as more artists came playing. The heavy riff soon came in from the radio where one of your favorite songs from your favorite band, a gasp escaped your lips.

"Turn it up!." You exclaimed, reaching over to the radio as you turn the volume up. Roger grinned at you with your enthusiastic side when you hear your favorite musics. "It's The Beatles, the volume of the radio needs to be turned up." You chuckled.

"He shoot Coca-Cola. He say I know you, you know me. One thing I can tell you is, You got to be free. Come together, right now. Over me." You sang again the lyrics. The smile on your face never stopped fading as you're hearing each iconic songs you've listened to through the years.

Then Roger suddenly said, "I won't get tired looking at you smiling Y/N." He smiles, sighing deeply as he slightly blushed, looking away from you.

You're surprised with this man beside you as you also hide the fact that you're screaming on the inside. Probably dancing in joy inside your mind. You just blushed and look out of the window, letting the song flow through the last remaining minutes in the drive to Brighton.

...

After four more songs on the radio, you all finally arrived in Brighton. Roger found a parking space just close to the beach, already looking over the pier. You hop off the car, breathing in the salty air of the Brighton atmosphere. You heard the waves crashing on the shore nearby, which is the most relaxing tone in the world.

You helped Freddie in carrying the food baskets, the others carried the rugs and their own things. You've found this spot only meters away from the shore and the view is close to the pier.

John placed down the rugs together with the help of Genevieve. You put down the food basket, preparing the foods while Freddie already took out the cake from the basket, taking it out from the container as he put on the candle. Victoria is clapping her hands when Freddie was trying to light up the candle, since it's windy, you helped him by covering the candle wick as it lights up.

"Okay, now everybody. Let's sing to my love here in celebrating another year of life again." Freddie announced. Counting on three, and now you all started to sing happy birthday to her as she claps her hands. Trying to stop the happy tears from falling down her eyes.

"Happy Birthday Vicky!." You all greeted her as she made a wish then ready to blow out the candle, but the wind did her work as you all laugh in unison when the candle was put out by the wind. You gave her a hug again after that, then Freddie kissed her passionately as you all clap for them.

"Best couple ever!." You shouted, sending wolf whistles at them. Freddie pull away as he still kisses her cheek before sitting on the rug again.

The sun began to set when you're getting your foods, while stories are being passed. Rosalie also talked to you about your father calling for Christmas and she said she can't promise in coming back home by Christmas. Which is the most possible answer you'll ever receive from her.

You also shared stories with Genevieve, asking how he met John and said she met him in Kensington Market. The cutest thing is that John was this shy man who just wants to talk to a girl and then he finally boosts his confidence and found himself a girl.

By the time the view of the sun is so perfect, you reach over to your bag and protrude the polaroid out to take some pictures. You took a picture of the sunset together with the waves of the sea, you also took a picture of Vicky holding out her cake while smiling widely at the camera.

A picture of her and Freddie cuddling up which is the sweetest things you've ever seen in a picture.

John and Genevieve standing by the shore, only seeing their backs while looking out in the sea. His arms around her.

Rosalie her head on Brian's shoulder, only Brian was looking at the camera. You looked at their picture, blushing in your thoughts that Brian was your first crush in the band, and then Roger came through, that changes your lane.

Then you tilt the camera at Roger, who immediately caught you taking a candid picture as he smiled at the camera by the time the flash came off. You laughed at the developed photograph to see him showing off his teeth in that smile, unruly blond waves cascading down his collarbones.

"I'll take a picture of you too, your dress will be such a waste when there isn't a single photograph of you." Roger said as he took the polaroid from you. You wore the best smile of your face then took the picture.

You look over at the picture to see yourself, happily smiling. Freddie was in the background too, smiling at Vicky. Your hair was being blown by the wind a little bit that's why some strands are on your face. The ruffles on your dress flew too, covering your neck.

"You look lovely." Roger compliments. You looked at him through your lashes as you blushed again.

"Thank you Rog." You mumbled under your breath as you took your picture from him. Putting it inside your bag with the other pictures.

Memories in this place are definitely sealed with those photos.

...

Yesterday at Brighton, you all ended the birthday celebration with Freddie pushing Vicky into the water. Together with all of you coming in the cold water, soaked in your clothes but still enjoyed throughout the night. You all came back home last night shaking in the cold breeze, even Roger lend you his coat which made your cheeks became red again. Brian also talked about his friend in a record store finding a new cashier back there since the last one just quit. He asked the boys if they want to take it, until now the vacant job is still there and you've been thinking about working here in Kensington, save some money and even help Freddie and Vicky in buying some needs.

Tomorrow will be your big day, and you've been thinking about that if you'll take the job on the record store, you'll ask if you will take the daytime shifts since you'll be taking turns with the other employee.

You suddenly came running towards the phone to call Brian, tapping your foot on the floor in an impatient manner. A few rings later, he finally picked up.

"Brian May speaking--"

"Brian! Thank goodness you finally picked up, I need to ask you if the job on the record store is still available?." You all said that in one breath.

"Y/N? Is that you?." He asked. You rolled your eyes when he just said that.

"Yes, it's me Brian and I need your answer. I want that job." You replied to him. He didn't said another word as you just heard shuffling in the background, even hearing Rosalie speaking too, asking who is he talking to in the phone. He didn't said that you're the one who's calling him.

"Okay. Take a pen and paper and write down these number, it's from my friend in that record shop, his name is Tommy. Tell him that I told you about the job offering." Brian said.

"Hold on a sec," You respond, putting the phone down as you took your journal and your pen, getting it ready. "Okay. Go on."

He told you the numbers, you wrote it down. He also told you about Tommy, he's been Brian's friend since college because they're taking the same course before. Brian said that Tommy is a very respectful man, nice, smart and kind. And the way Brian introduced him to you made you feel a little bit excited if you'll ever be accepted in the record shop.

All that you have to do is make a resume.

____________________

reader's dress in Vicky's birthday:

*TAGLIST:

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#queen band #queen imagines #queen fic #queenrogah's fic #queen fanfiction #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #freddie mercury #freddie mercury imagine #brian may #brian may imagines #John Deacon #John deacon imagine

[andreleoo]

You are the One in 7.5 Billion

16 April 2019.

Enam setengah tahun sudah sejak pertama kali member Generasi ke-2 JKT48 terpilih. Saat itu, semua terasa begitu cerah. Si gadis kecil itu sepertinya mendapat perhatian dari banyak orang. Tingkahnya yang lucu dan kekanak-kanakan membuat orang-orang jatuh cinta padanya. Belum lagi ia memiliki suara merdu yang membuat hati bergetar. Posisi utama di Pajama Drive dan Boku no Taiyou pun berhasil diamankan.

 Namun, alih-alih semakin bersinar, justru sinarmu semakin meredup. Kata mereka, setiap orang berlari dengan tempo yang berbeda-beda. Awalnya aku berpikir, mungkin kamu seperti itu. Tempomu mungkin tidak secepat yang lain. Tapi setelah aku perhatikan lebih lama lagi, sepertinya kamu punya tempo yang tidak kalah dengan teman-temanmu, bahkan adik-adikmu. Tapi, mengapa perjuanganmu menjadi lebih berat dari mereka, sih?

 Aku ingat betul, saat itu di perayaan ulang tahunmu yang ke-18, kamu berkata bahwa hal yang paling kamu suka sebagai member JKT48 adalah perform di panggung Theater. Karena ketika perform, kamu bisa bertemu fansmu secara reguler. Tapi saat itu, kamu bahkan tidak termasuk dalam formasi utama setlist itu. Kamu menolak menyerah, hingga akhirnya terjadilah lima belas dari enam belas blockingan yang melegenda itu. Menghafal satu blockingan di setlist sekelas Saishu Bell ga Naru saja sudah susah, apalagi lima belas. Dasar kamu memang keras kepala dan pekerja keras, kamu menyelesaikan semuanya dengan sempurna.

 Kamu sadar, kamu harus menunjukkan kemampuanmu lebih jauh lagi. Gitar pun mulai kamu pelajari. Pilihanmu untuk belajar gitar, sungguh berbuah manis. Berawal dari project iseng, JKT48 Akustik lahir dan berhasil membuahkan sebuah lagu berjudul “Lantang”. Banyak yang menyebut itu adalah lagu orisinal pertama JKT48. Tapi, semua itu tetap masih belum cukup untuk membawamu ke  formasi enam besar, formasi yang selalu kamu inginkan.

 Sepertinya kamu sudah cukup kebal, ya? Berapa kali, sih kamu sudah dihempaskan? Rasanya kamu selalu bangkit dan terus berjuang. Akhirnya kamu tidak mau berhenti begitu saja, setidaknya hingga impianmu  untuk berada di formasi utama yang selalu kamu inginkan itu terwujud. Kalau aku ada di posisimu, mungkin aku sudah mundur dan menyerah saja. Toh, banyak hal lain yang bisa aku lakukan di luar sana. Tapi hal itu tidak berlaku buatmu.

 Tapi di tengah semua itu, Nadila tidak pernah berhenti membuat banyak orang kagum. Tidak hanya satu dua orang yang bercerita kalau Nadila, benar-benar memperhatikan orang yang peduli padanya. Nadila sosok yang perhatian, bahkan ketika dia berada di masa sulit sekalipun. Dia masih sempat memberikan dorongan semangat untuk kita yang juga tengah berjuang dengan masalah kita masing-masing. Si gadis kecil ini sekarang sudah beranjak dewasa. Dia memiliki caranya sendiri untuk menunjukkan ke banyak orang, bagaimana cara berjuang. Bagaimana caranya agar tidak kalah dengan situasi sulit. Daripada menggerutu, dia memilih bangkit dan tetap berusaha melakukan semuanya dengan sebaik mungkin. Lebih dari itu, ia tetap menjadi pribadi yang disukai dan dicintai semua orang.

 Ada tujuh miliar manusia di dunia ini. Masing masing saling memberi dan menerima rasa cinta. Dan setiap orang bisa mencintai dengan caranya sendiri. Bahkan dengan cinta yang tidak masuk akal, kita tetap melakukannya. Karena cinta tidak harus selalu masuk akal – kita tidak bisa menggunakan logika untuk memulai atau mengakhiri cinta. Meskipun cinta tidak masuk akal, tapi kita harus terus melakukannya, atau kita akan selesai. Cinta akan mati, perbuatan baik akan berakhir, karena cinta adalah hal terbaik yang kita lakukan. Cinta tidak perlu masuk akal, untuk masuk akal.

#jpop idols #idol #jkt48 #nadila cindi

[putrisheila]

A Fan Letter: Selamat Lulus Hai Jendral Kagami!

Dear Devi Kinal Putri, Hai Oshimen, pertama...dan masih satu satunya Perjalanan ngidol saya mungkin hampir sama lamanya dgn masa km jadi idola itu sendiri. Pertama kali lihat kalian manggung di 100% ampuh, lagu 'heavy rotation' kalian nyantol banget di kuping...dan image keroyokannya,suda pasti bikin heran. Dulu saya ngga ngerti apa itu idol grup...48 group..yah whatever lah ya...yg saya tau mah artis jepang cuma si ganteng Yamappi. Krn penampilan singkat kalian di acara itu,saya mulai cari tahu apa itu JKT48, mulai tertarik dgn konsepnya, membernya, fandomnya, dan karyanya. Saya ingat, pertama kali lihat kalian live waktu itu di musium satwa. Saya datang bawa2 lightstick bersama pacar dan adik2 saya. Pertama kali ikut mengayunkan lightstick dan memanggil nama kalian. Rasanya aneh, sungguh...tapi senang. Dulu kalian blum secantik sekarang...mukanya masih lugu2...narinya ada yg tubrukan...mc-nya kaya mc classmeeting sekolahan...tapi waktu itu saya benar2 suka sekali melihat kalian. Walaupun waktu itu saya ngga bisa bedakan 16 member yg datang, tapi saya tau, Kinal. Giginya yg lucu bikin saya ingat, gaya narinya yg sedikit gahar selalu bikin saya pengen ketawa. Tapi kamu kelihatan semangat. Sampai akhirnya kalian punya pertunjukan theater. Setlist pertama Pajama Drive dan saya menemukan fotomu yg lagi jadi jendral sambil bawa2 bendera. Bagi saya itulah pertama kalinya saya 'jatuh cinta' sama kamu. Ngga ada level kekerenan yg lebih tinggi, dibanding kamu dengan seragam Jendralmu. Waktu itu saya pertama kali merasakan punya seorang Oshimen, Devi Kinal Putri. Saya ingat keliling malang dari satu kios ke kios lain,cuma krn nyari majalah Hai! Yg saat itu berbonus CD single limited edition itu. Ada 4 jenis CD...yg akhirnya saya dapatkan setelah pergi dari ujung ke ujung, dan sebar nomor hp ke para pegawai Gramedia. Ya, sesusah itu dulu jadi Fans Far kalian. Akhirnya Album pertama kalian rilis, Heavy Rotation! Album itu yg akhirnya membawaku ke pertemuan kita yg pertama. Direct Selling di Surabaya...apa mungkin kamu ingat?pasti nggak lah ya...aku cuma satu diantara sekian ribu penggemar-mu. Pertama kali mau ketemu rasanya deg2an. Bingung mau pakai baju apa, bingung krn lg jerawatan, bingung mau bilang apa. Sehari sebelumnya saya latihan didepan kaca...latihan mau bicara apa. Waktu ketemu kamu saya sampe ngga ngerti lagi muka saya gimana. Saya ingat sampai beli beberapa cd utk ketemu lagi sama kamu. Dan waktu itu saya janji untuk nonton kamu jadi jendral di Jakarta, sebelum kamu lulus SMA. Dan kmu sempat mendoakan saya waktu itu, sayangnya doamu ngga terkabul sih nal...^^ *tapi kami tetap berteman baik kok Nal Janji saya hampir ngga terpenuhi, setlist kamu keburu ganti, tapi saya berhasil memenuhi janji untuk ke theater sebelum kelulusanmu di SMA. Saya datang nonton kamu di manatsu, tepat dengan rilisnya single river kalian. Berbekal duit pas pasan...naik kereta matarmaja...ambil cuti kantor beberapa hari....nginap di rumah mantan mahasiswa, sungguh perjalanan yg seru, hanya utk sekedar bertemu. Gift pertamaku adalah jepitan rambut, entah kamu pakai atau tidak. Tapi aku pikir itu pasti lucu buatmu. Aku sempat bersyukur, Surabaya dan Malang menjadi kota langganan kalian mampir, entah DS ataupun konser. Tahun berganti tahun, dulu saya tidak pernah absen melewatkan kegiatan kalian. Nonton theater tiap ada Dinas Luar di Jakarta, bahkan konser bergandengan tangan dengan kakak pun sempat kudatangi. Thanks, that was a memorable moment for me! Ngga terasa sekarang sudah 6 tahunan kamu jadi idola, begitu juga saya jadi penggemar. Walau 2 tahun belakangan saya sudah tak lagi aktif mengikuti kegiatan kalian atau membeli karya kalian. Maaf, tapi kadang prioritas hidup-pun berganti. Hari ini saya mendengar speech kelulusan kamu, Kinal. Hanya melalui instagram. Sebagian diri saya merasa wajar, sudah waktunya buat kamu untuk lulus dan mengejar impian lain. Kinal yg sekarang sudah jauh berkembang dan punya bekal lebih...Devi Kinal Putri, S.Hum, idola yg punya banyak pendukung, langganan senbatsu...cukup membanggakan. Tapi sebagian diri saya sendiri juga masih tidak rela. Karena bagi saya, kamu masih 'jendral' saya. Sosok yang saya ingat waktu saya merasa capek dan pengen udahan di semua lini hidup saya, ada sosokmu dalam ingatan yang terus jadi pengingat untuk berdiri lagi. Terima kasih Devi Kinal Putri, sang Jendral Kagami-ku sepanjang masa ^^ -A mommies with 1 children-

#kinal devikinalputri jkt48

[thelostneverland]

18!

Next chapter, shall we?

Babak 7 -Photopack-

Selama...hhmmm...6? 7? Ya pokoknya sekian tahun gw mengidolakan JKT48, ga pernah sekalipun secara sadar gw membeli photopack karena gw punya prinsip untuk tidak membeli photo pack (PP). Kenapa? Karena gw bingung kalo udah beli trus mau diapain, taro di mana, males ditanyain macem-macem sama nyokap, dll. Makanya gw ga pernah secara sadar membeli PP. Kalopun pun gw punya PP, itu karena bonus dari event atau hadiah dari orang.

Hingga akhirnya pada suatu ketika muncullah PP Shonichi Academy Class A. Awalnya biasa saja namun begitu ku lihat PPnya langsung bibir ini berucap, "tolong cariin PPnya Dey", ke temen gw yang suka koleksi PP. Ga pake lama itu PP ketemu, deal harga, dan beberapa hari kemudian PP sudah di tangan. Wow, prinsipku terpatahkan...

https://twitter.com/little_nandya/status/1129823858578546688?s=19

Babak 8 -Shnch dmc-

Terjadi pada 19-7-19. Astaga, tanggal cantik! Aku malu... Ga lagi-lagi deh (T_T)

Babak 9 -Vvotubir & Go Public-

Keseringan menjelajah akun ngidol dan juga keadaan fandom yang kurang bersahabat membuat gw berasa toxic sehingga berpikir untuk "mundur sedikit" hingga tiba waktunya HS Top 3 SSK 2018. Membuat perjanjian beserta hukumannya dengan teman, lalu tiba hari pelaksanaan. Sampai hari ketiga aman, di hari keempat bubar jalan.

Kali itu pertama kalinya gw tubir dengan fans lain. Gw ga terima karena menurut gw dia sudah terlalu sering menjatuhkan Dey sehingga akhirnya harus gw konfrontasi. Tubir dengan fans yang berakhir dengan gw berasa gila. Anjirlah... Sejujurnya harusnya gpp karena tubir ke fans itu ga menyalahi aturan, tapi karena setelahnya gw mention Dey jadi ya bubar jalan. Hhaha.

Pesan moral dari kejadian ini adalah ngefans boleh tapi jangan sampai bikin gelap mata lalu gila. Idol juga manusia, ga selalu benar. Jangan sampai fanatisme menutup mata hingga kamu tidak dapat membedakan mana yang salah dan mana yang benar.

Gw ini fans cinta damai, adem ayem, ga suka keributan. Ngidol gw hanya berkisar ke datang-senang-pulang, casual fans aja gitu. Gw ga pernah beli PP, ga pernah dmc, ga tertarik tubir. Tapi ternyata belakangan prinsip ngidol gw terpatahkan ketika gw mengidolakan Dey. Kalo dengan Gracia gw menjadi Re:boost, dengan Dey gw menjadi Re:boot alias seperti memiliki kepribadian ngidol yang baru yang berbeda dari sebelumnya. Karena tubir ini gw jadi berpikir dan mendapatkan satu kesimpulan, per 13 Juli 2019 Anandya go public ngoshiin Dey JKT48.

Babak 10 -Hey, Dey-

Selain HS, salah satu yang gw tunggu adalah penampilan Dey saat stage activity. Kenapa gw tunggu? Karena pas H-1 ada teaser dari Dey dan beberapa member lainnya kalo mereka akan menunjukkan sesuatu pas HSF. Setelah menunggu lama, akhirnya di sesi terakhir muncul juga! Gils, lama banget oeeee nunggunya.... Tapi gpp! Soalnya keren banget \(>o<)/. Dey membawakan modern dance bersama beberapa member lainnya. Belum sempurna, tapi untuk yang katanya latihan baru H-1 penampilan mereka sudah memuaskan (^o^)

HS Sousenkyou Top 3 2018 - Sabtu, 20 Juli 2019. Hari itu akhirnya datang juga, hari di mana gw bisa berkenalan secara benar dengan salah satu 7agoan gw. HS pertama yang sangat berkesan, ga berasa kaku, ngalir aja gitu kayak udah sering HS. Tapi 2s sih terdeg-degan. Entah karena baru pertama kali 2s atau karena terciduk sama yang di sebrang. Hwahahaha.

Selesai HSF ini gw jadi makin yakin untuk mendukung Dey. Ga cuma karena interaksi yang super menyenangkan, tapi juga melihat dia selalu berusaha untuk menunjukkan kemampuan dia tuh membuat gw jadi makin-makin ingin mendukung. Sekali lagi kalimat itu tercetus, "ga salah pilih 7agoan". Sekilas info, gw suka banget sama performance modern dance ini. Ada kali seminggu gw nonton itu terus di youtube. Keren banget, ga ngerti lagi.

https://twitter.com/little_nandya/status/1152615206532501504

Babak 11 -Shonichi Saka Agari-

Sabtu, 10 Agustus 2018. Akhirnya saat yang ditunggu-tunggu itu tiba, Dey perform di Saka Agari! Wohoowww...

Dey gimana? Gw lihatnya shonichi ini adalah shonichi tertegang dari shonichi lainnya alias dari awal sampai akhir mukanya kenceng bener... Sepertinya pengaruh dari jadwal yang sibuk karena dia musti mengimbangi sekolah beserta latihan dan juga perform di 2 setlist InY (J) dan Pajama Drive (Academy A), nervous karena tampil di tim idola makanya eksekusinya jadi kurang maksimal. Tapi menurut gw dibandingkan dengan member Academy lainnya, performance shonichi Dey ini termasuk oke.

Kayaknya bener pas shonichi itu tegang to the max jadi hasilnya kurang maksimal, karena di penampilan kedua itu performancenya Dey udah sangat lebih baik dari yang pertama. Koreonya sudah lebih hafal, ekspresi mukanya juga ga tegang terus. Pokoknya makin mendekati standard K3 lah. Hhehe.

Btw, pas shonichi itu ada insiden yang entah karena apa jadi Dey sempat jatuh di stage. Sejujurnya gw ga lihat gimana karena tiba-tiba dia hilang dan muncul lagi. Yang gw sesalkan adalah bukan karena Dey yang jatuh di atas stage, tapi terlebih karena orang-orang overreacted terhadap kejadian itu. Jatuh memang bukan bagian dari koreo, lagian siapa sih yang mau jatuh di atas panggung? Dey si anak baik, banyak yang nyemangatin dia. Kebetulan di show ini ada yang MVP 200, di akhir dia bilang "buat Dey, gpp tadi jatoh. Orang sukses emang jatoh dulu." trus habis itu Dey bales dengan bilang "jangan digituin, nanti nangis", beneran nangis dong......baik Dey maupun gw. Jangan nangis :'(

Babak 12 -#Happ18estDey-

Jadi pada 18 Agustus 2019 ada yang ulang tahun dan dia perform di 2 show, show 1 Saka Agari dan show 2 Idol no Yoake. Gw penasaran, gimana perlakuan masing-masing tim terhadap birthday girl.

Saka Agari: Gw sangat mengapresiasi perlakuan K3 kepada Dey. Di show ini mereka mention 3x tentang Dey yang ulang tahun. Pertama, pas Shani pantun sebelum mulai M02. Kedua, pas Gracia monolog sebelum Fugiri. Ketiga, gw lupa di MC ke berapa tapi yang jelas ke mention Dey ulang tahun. Too bad, birthday projectnya (encore dsb) baru ada di show 2, jadi ga ada kesempatan dia ngomong di show ini.

Dey ini sebelumnya baru perform 2x di Saka Agari, tapi gw sangat mengapresi perlakuan K3 karena terlihat sangat menghargai dia. Terima kasih K3 🙏

Idol no Yoake: Birthday project encore, setelah itu Dey berkesempatan berbicara sepatah dua patah kata. Setelah melihat dia berbicara, jadi makin suka sama Dey. Terima kasih J karena Dey sudah diberi kesempatan untuk berbicara 🙏, walau sejujurnya gw kecewa.

Di hari ulang tahunnya, Dey perform 2x di setlist yang berbeda. Sedih kalau mengingat itu berarti dia belum masuk team sehingga perform di 2 setlist yang berbeda. Tapi mari ambil sisi positifnya, member mana yang berkesempatan perform di 2 setlist yang berbeda ketika dia ulang tahun. Memang ada? Seingat gw sih ga ada. Untuk kali ini Dey merayakan di 2 setlist menjadi backup team, semoga tahun depan sudah bisa merayakan ulang tahun dengan status barunya 🙂

Babak 13 - Siap 7enderal! -

Pajama Drive show 1, 24 Agustus 2019. Jadi hari ini ada 2x Pajama Drive. Gw penasaran dengan member listnya berhubung ada 3 member yang shonichi dan 3 member lainnya yang gw belum pernah lihat sebelumnya. Berhubung ga ada kakak gw, jadi gw pilih show 1 biar pulangnya ga kemaleman.

Blocking group ada yang berubah tapi untuk Dey masih sama kayak biasanya. Semua berjalan lancar seperti biasa sampai tiba saatnya Junjou Shugi, bukan Dey yang jadi Junjou merah 😱. Harap-harap cemas, apakah Dey perform di Temodemo no Namida? Karena kalo dari blocking group, member baru yang di blocking Azizi, bukan Dey. Tapi kalo dipikir-pikir, member baru lebih cocok di Temodemo. Setelah gelut sendiri, ternyata member barunya di Temodemo yang berarti.... DEY JADI JENDERAL KAGAMI!!!

Gimana Dey? Asli sih, suka banget gw lihat Dey jadi Jenderal Kagami. Masih ada yang kurang di beberapa bagian, tapi yang jelas dia ga tertinggal dari member lain yang telah terlebih dahulu membawakan unit song ini. She got that charismatic charm, fierce look, and strong attitude. Selama nonton Kagami, ga pernah gw sesuka ini sama centernya. Good job 7enderalnya akooohhhhh!!!!

Babak 14 - 50 -

Tepatnya pada tanggal 25 Agustus 2019, di show Saka Agari, Dey tepat 50 show! Wohoowww... Ga heran sih, regular di Pajama Drive trus backup di Idol no Yoake dan Saka Agari, pasti hitungannya naik cepat. Hhehe. Selamat 50 show. Semoga kedepannya masih semangat seperti pertama kali show. Pas lagi rekap 50 ini, gw makin kagum sama Dey. Baru sadar kalo Dey ini perform 3x Pajama Drive (diselingi sakit) trus abis itu di penampilan ke 4 dia shonichi Idol no Yoake. Wah gila sik, abis sakit malah makin keren.

Yang paling bikin kagum sih waktu itu antara tanggal 20-25 Agustus 2019 dia perform total 7x dari 5 show di 3 dari 4 setlist JKT48 yang sedang berjalan. Sebenernya sedih karena perform terus berarti waktu istirahat berkurang. Tapi seneng juga, karena walau perform di banyak show dan setlist, Dey bisa menyelesaikan minggu tersebut dengan baik. Bahkan di Pajama Drive shonichi Jenderal Kagami, di mana itu juga belajar beberapa blocking baru. Keren banget ga sih? 7agoan gw nih...

https://twitter.com/little_nandya/status/1165618252740886528?s=19

Babak 15 - Cikarang Digoyang-

Minggu, 1 September 2019, Dey untuk pertama kalinya perform off air di acara outdooor. Akhirnya mukanya muncul di fancam bareng anak-anak Academy lainnya. Abisan biasanya pas perform off air itu Dey kebagian jaga kandang alias perform di theater (T_T).

Sebenernya mau ngelive, beneran. Tapi berhubung moda transportasi terbatas dan itu malam jadi batal. Terima kasih kepada idolgrapher, jadi ada dokumentasi Dey perform live. Habis lihat fancam, Dey keren tapi ada yang kocak. Woy, yang bener aja lo...

https://twitter.com/little_nandya/status/1168197971621474305?s=19

Babak 16 - Pipi Ku Jadi Basah -

Setelah sebelumnya lihat Dey di Kagami, sebagai fans ku ingin lihat dia lagi disitu karena belum puas. Lalu tibalah jadwal Pajama Drive tanggal 5 September 2019 dan Dey ngetweet dia akan magang lagi. Mayoritas fans berekspektasi bahwa Dey akan tuker posisi sama Azizi; Dey jadi Jenderal Kagami sedangkan Azizi jadi Junjou merah.

Kenyataannya...Stefi yang jadi Junjou merah. Gw masih berpikir, "selow sih Dey bisa jadi Jenderal." Tapi abis itu mikir lagi kok kayaknya ga mungkin Azizi di Temodemo no Namida (walaupun skillnya juga mumpuni disitu). Masa iya Dey yang Temodemo? EH TERNYATA BENER DONG DEY TEMODEMO (T_T). Terbaik lah memang Dey ini, ditinggal meleng dikit udah nambah blocking baru lagi. Masih ada beberapa kekurangan, tapi secara keseluruhan performancenya oke. Good job, 7agoan!

Babak 17 - The Girl in Yukata -

Setiap tahun di weekend pertama di bulan September, JKT48 mengikuti event JakJapan Matsuri. Sayangnya event ini bertepatan dengan ulang tahun eyang gw, jadi auto skip deh.

Biasanya akan ada beberapa member dari masing-masing team yang berpartisipasi dalam acara 2s mengenakan yukata, ini nih paling ditunggu oleh fans JKT48. Nah, tahun 2019 ternyata lain dari biasanya, member team ga ikut 2s melainkan All Member dari Academy Class A yang kebagian 2s! Cihuy banget ga tuh? Ya gw sih cuma bisa nangis aja karena ga bisa 2s (T_T). Terima kasih kepada idolgrapher dan kemurahan hati Dey untuk mengabadikan moment di hari itu, jadi gw bisa lihat Dey pakai yukata. Cantik banget sih, cocok.

Babak 18 - 27 -

Ini lagi ngomongin umur gw? Oh, bukan. Ya sorriiiikkkkkk....... Lagian ngapain juga ngomongin umur gw di tulisan tentang Dey. Hhaha. Jadi, angka 27 ini adalah peringkat Dey di pengumuman tahap 1 Sousenkyo Pemilihan Member Single Original JKT48 saat Fajar Sang Idola HSF. Wow, congratulations! Sejujurnya, gw ga memiliki ekspektasi apapun. Tapi dengan disebutnya nama Dey pada pengumuman tahap 1 ini gw jadi berharap semoga namanya bisa disebut sampai pengumuman akhir nanti. Semoga ya :)

Sekian cerita yang bisa gw tuliskan kali ini. Ada beberapa babak yang sebenarnya ga terjadi interaksi langsung antara gw sama Dey, cuma karena adanya teknologi jadi gw bisa turut senang dan berbahagia dengan adanya kejadian tersebut. Gw kira setelah kelewatan lihat Dey shonichi junjou merah kedepannya gw ga akan kelewatan shonichi blocking lain lagi, ternyata pas 04-10-2019 gw kelewatan lihat Dey shonichi di blocking Garis Diagonal Cinta Searah di setlist Fajar Sang Idola. Hhuuu...so sad (T_T).

Gw sudah ngedraft tulisan ini dari lama, tapi berhubung bingung untuk memutus di bagian mana jadi gagal upload terus. Bingung bingung bingung, tau-tau udah sampai babak 18. Hhaha. Diputus di sini dulu, kalau kuota sudah tercukupi nanti di upload lagi. Yakin deh masih banyak babak yang akan tercipta kedepannya, maka dari itu, tulisannya disudahi dulu di sini...

Ciao~

-TbC-

#A_DeyJKT48 #DheaAngelia #AcademyClassA #JKT48 #DeyTheExplorer

[answersheet]

Tembang-tembang dari 48 Family tidak sekedar ditujukan untuk para wota yang tadinya anak kuliahan sekarang jadi om-om seram. Secara musikal juga luar biasa!!! • Kami akan memainkan satu setlist Pajama Drive full lengkap sama Cigul dengan balon hehe. • Beli tiketnya di @mbahmu.salto ya!!! • #BingoYK adalah sebuah eksperimen - alternatif gigs di mana penonton akan dibawa kepada sebuah pertunjukan musik dengan band dari kancah independen yang hadir dengan semangat JKT48. Karena pada dasarnya JKT48 dan pergerakan independen/underground mempunyai kesamaan antara lain: kesadaran untuk berani support setiap pertunjukan dengan membeli tiket, merchandise, dan menyaksikan setiap perubahan performer dari waktu ke waktu. Dengan adanya #BingoYK ini, Mbahmu Salto juga mengedukasi penonton untuk dapat menopang kehidupan sebuah band dengan cara menyaksikan dengan cara membeli tiket dan mendukung secara langsung dan saling bertukar semangat antara penonton dan performer. Tentunya kolaborasi dalam #BingoYK ini akan menghasilkan pengalaman tak terduga bagi para penonton dan para band penampil. Penampil pada #BingoYK: 1. Olski @olskitty (Band indie pop gemes dengan nuansa yang lucu dan imut) 2. Near @near.id (Idol Group berisikan 3 orang dan bandmates beraliran J-Pop yang akan memberikan menyanyi dan menari layaknya 48 family) 3. Answer Sheet @answersheet (Band folk/simple pop dengan musik loop dari ukulele yang membawa suasana yang tenang) 4. Muchos Libre @muchos_libre (Band Surf/Garage Rock dari Bandung dengan ciri khas topeng ala wrestler Rey Mysterio) 5. Tiger Paw @tigerpawrock (Band Heavy Metal dengan dandanan ala Glam Rock 80an dengan lengkingan dan distorsi gitar yang liar) 6. Lefty Fish @lefty_fish (Band avant-garde jazz/Noise Core dengan saxophone dengan improvisasi dan hentakan yang super cepat) Overture and Zenza Boy by Sabarbar @busterborr (Sabarbar adalah proyek solo gitar yang dimaikan oleh Akbar Adi Wibowo, memainkan musik dark folk/freak folk) MC: Gilchan (@gil.chandra) dan Ocacola (@ocacola_) https://www.instagram.com/p/By4q0Exhj21/?igshid=dfzfk4oqemjb

#bingoyk

[princezukohere]

Still Friends *Revisited *Part 11

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

part 6

part 7

part 8

part 9

part 10

Words 2805

"Hello, everyone! Shawn and I would like to thank you guys for choosing us to represent the three charities of our choice." You started, the camera in front of you.

"We will be at Madison Square Garden in one month with twenty songs for you guys, we will be taking suggestions for two weeks and we will announce the set list three days before the show," Shawn added.

"We want as many of you guys there as possible, the tickets are a lot cheaper than what our normal concerts are. We want you guy to know that the money doesn't go to us. All things bought at the concert goes to those charities." You told them.

"Also if you can't make it, it's okay because we will be live and you can donate next week when we announce the three charities."  Shawn Finished.

You and Shawn both continued touring but talked frequently about setlist ideas and the charities that you guys would be donating to. As promised you guys announced on your twitters that the money would be split between Food For The Poor, The Salvation Army and American Cancer Society. 

You and Shawn met in New York three days before the actual show so you could get used to the surrounding and practice together. Now it was the actual performance and you'd admit it, you were nervous to perform for charity, songs that meant something. You stood at the side of the stage with Shawn, you gave him a hug and you new he was surprised.

"Thank you for agreeing to this, I know you could have shut it down when they told you that majority chose you but thank you for agreeing to do this." You told him, for a moment you wanted to stay there and you did when you felt him wrap his arms around you.

"Of course, I'm glad that I could do this with you." He told you, you went to say something but you heard the awe from the crowd. Looking out to the stage you saw you and Shawn on the big screen hugging. 

"I'd say that's our cue." You told him pulling away from the hug. You both walked out on the stage waving at everyone, it was a big crowd and you were used to it for the most part but it was a new feeling as well. You chose to go for the mic that was around you, so you didn't have to walk with a microphone.

"How's everyone doing?" You asked, hearing everyone scream. "I like the sound of that." You added.

"N/Y and I have been working hard to make sure that you guys go home satisfied," Shawn told everyone as he walked up to his mic. "I'm so excited to be able to perform for you guys tonight." He added. 

"We want this first song to bring you all up so what we're going to do is start and then after this song we'll explain how the night is going to go. You've all heard of the chainsmokers right?" You asked them. Their cheers got louder once again. Shawn was handed his guitar.

"I'm glad otherwise this would have been weird. This is Paris." He said as the music played around the arena, him joining in on his guitar.

We were staying in Paris To get away from your parents And I thought, “Wow If I could take this in a shot right now I don't think that we could work this out” Out on the terrace I don't know if it's fair but I thought “How Could I let you fall by yourself While I'm wasted with someone else”

You and Shawn had always liked the idea of traveling and the idea of doing it together was even better. You remembered the first night of actually running away together. Getting in the passenger seat of his car and having the radio blasting, having your head out the window and the wind going through your hair. That moment was probably the best memory you had of him and he for you. Shawn's favorite part of that night was him sitting on top of his car and you standing in the street dancing. It wasn't much besides small movements but it made him love you, he was in love with you and watching you let loose and be free was amazing. He let you drive his car which he was a little worried he trusted you even as you sped down the abandoned road, in the middle of nowhere. 

It was a subconscious thing, you and Shawn had looked at each other so many times and you didn't even notice but they did. The song finished and you both looked out at everyone.

"Paris was an easy one to choose." Shawn told them after a moment, " I chose it because I felt that it explained us a lot, we're close and we keep that in mind when it comes to the choices we make. Though we haven't been to Paris together, we've gone to a lot of places just to get away and I think it's healthy for any relationship or friendship." Shawn finished watching the audience. 

"How Shawn and I decided we'd do this is every four songs we'd get on twitter and answer a few questions that way we can connect to you guys and then we'd talk about the charity a little bit in those breaks." You said into your mic. "The next song that we have coming up is Touch it by Ariana Grande." You spoke looking back at the Dj. "Which means Shawn take a seat because it's my time to shine." You joked motioning to the chairs that you two has set up.

How do I make the phone ring? Why do I even care? How are you all around me when you're not really there? When you're not really there? How do I feel you on me when you're not on my skin? Why do you say you want me, then tell me "I'm not coming in"? Baby, just come on in

You missed Shawn a lot and it showed when he was on tour or even when you guys broke up. You were always faithful when it came to Shawn and he was the same but the song was deeper than that. You and Shawn had gone to London together as you both had a photo shoot to do, Shawn wasn't in a rush to have sex but you, on the other hand, you were ready and of course as it was your first time you were extremely nervous. You were in his hotel room watching movies, he had gone to take a shower which left you to your own devices, you had taken your shower before joining him in his room, though you knew you weren't going to your room to sleep you didn't change into actual pajamas so you took it upon yourself to put on one of his shirts and get under his covers.

"Comfortable?" He asked you as he came out in his shorts, a towel to dry his hair, you nodded with a smile before looking back at the t.v. You knew your boyfriend was hot and you told him that almost every day but it was as if you were completely aware of it. He laid down next to you, his lips on yours for a second before he pulled back looking down at you.

"Have you ever thought about us having sex?" You asked out of the blue, you turned to look at him and you could tell that you caught him off guard.

"Yeah...unless that makes you uncomfortable then no, but if it doesn't then yes...I've thought about it a lot but though I'm a gentleman...my mind isn't sometimes." He told you, "Why?" He asked turning to look at you.

"Because I've wanted to for awhile now but I didn't know how to express it and now that I'm here and you're shirtless and so close...I really want to." You mumbled his lips once again on yours.

"You guys knowing the lyrics, I think is the best part of doing this." You told everyone as you walked around the stage. "It makes me feel better about singing someone else's song. Touch it by Ariana, I chose this one because, well I'm sure you all can use your imagination, but know a lot of these songs bring up memories and I think that as long as they're good then you should bring them up." You finished as the Dj said that Shawn was up.

"I decided to sing a few of my songs as well, the first one that has been decided is Kid In Love."

And I know that we just met And maybe this is dumb But it feels like there was something From the moment that we touched 'Cause, it's alright, it's alright I wanna make you mine

Shawn knew you were special when you first met, though he knew there was a two year age difference he didn't think it mattered. He took his time to get to know you and it meant a lot. Though he liked you a lot, you didn't feel that way right away, it took a while as you saw him as a mentor when you first met, as someone who knew what he was doing and he could help you. Though Shawn wanted you, he took it slow, you guys hung out and made music that you knew you would never release. Music that you knew would never go anywhere outside of the room that you two were in and that was okay. You made him feel different like he was still normal even though there were girls and guys that wanted his attention and that played a big part in how you two got together.

Shawn finished the last verse, his eyes going over to you for the fifth time in the song, you smiled as he finished, his smile getting big as well. "Kid In Love was written because a girl came into my life and changed it, she was only fifteen when we first met but she's worked for everything that she has and though a lot of people say that she owes me, I disagree, I'd say that I owe her. For being there for me when I couldn't be there for myself. For making me feel like I could do whatever I want with my music and encouraging me through my weakest moments." He finished before motioning for you to get up, you walked over to him, his arms once again wrapping around you.

Oh, there she goes again Every morning it's the same You walk on by my house I wanna call out your name

I want to tell you how beautiful you are from where I'm standing You got me thinking what we could because I keep craving, craving, you don't know it but it's true Can't get my mouth to say the words they want to say to you This is typical of love

writing imagination was slightly hard though neither of you would say it was. You and Shawn were at that point were playful songs could pass but an actual song was difficult but somehow you two created magic.  You two sat in the studio with blank paper, horrible notes being played.

"Look at me." You told him as you sat next to him. "I believe that when you try too hard you won't get where you're looking for." You started him. "What do you think about when you see me?" 

"That you're beautiful and talented and that you're going to do great things." He said looking down. You blushed as you looked at his guitar.

"Write about it."

"I love imagination." Shawn said after you two finished, "I love how it came out and it was hard. We went through so many different versions of it before we finally got to this one." He finished

I've been thinking 'bout you Yeah, I been missing you Where the hell are you, oh, when I need you? I could still hear your voice I ain't got no choice, cause I'm here all alone I know I can't wait 'til you get home

Thinking about you was when you first really started to miss Shawn.

Oh, I don't have you here with me But at least I have the memory I tried to make it through the night But I can't control my mind

You were used to him being around and then he was gone on tour and you had never thought you could miss someone so much. Then you broke up and you missed him more than you ever could, you had been broken up for seven months now and you hated not being with him. This was the song that you had to move around and sing and you did just that. Being close to your audience was something that you loved so the fact that they made the stage into a catwalk made you happy. Walking down in it, you poured your heart into a song because though it wasn't yours, it was how you felt in that moment.

Baby, I don't want no one, no one else So hurry, cause I need some, need some, need some help And I'll be waiting patient, patiently Cause I don't have you here with, here with, here with me But at least I have the memory

Heading back to the front of the stage, you made eye contact with Shawn. Your heart fluttered the way it used to when you saw him or heard his name or even when you got to talk to him. 

"Thinking about you by Ariana, I think this captures how I feel, I've felt lost for awhile and I think you've all noticed that...that sometimes I try to play off my feelings and  bottle them up and then the media gets a hold of it."

Maybe I came on too strong Maybe I waited too long Maybe I played my cards wrong Oh just a little bit wrong Baby I apologize for it

Shawn chose this song because it captured how he felt, where he was at this point in your relationship. He loved and cared about you more than he ever thought he could, but you were this mystery, you were this beautiful angel in his eyes but in some way a demon in disguise because you could put him through hell.

So don't call me baby Unless you mean it Don't tell me you need me If you don't believe it So let me know the truth Before I dive right into you

Shawn would drop anything if it meant he could have a chance with you and it was the sad truth, you were his drug in a way and though he wouldn't ruin his career for you, he would do a lot of things to prove to you that he was yours. He looked back at you as you sat there watching him sing, you tapped your foot to the beat, God he was so in love with you and you knew it. The thing is you were a mystery to him, he didn't know if you loved him the same way he loved you.

"I don't think I have to explain this one but, listen to the lyrics and you'll know." Shawn started, "I just got word that Shape Of You is the next song." He said with a smile knowing that this was one you guys had fun practicing together.

The club isn't the best place to find a lover So the bar is where I go Me and my friends at the table doing shots Drinking fast and then we talk slow Come over and start up a conversation with just me And trust me I'll give it a chance now Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox And then we start to dance, and now I'm singing like

Shawn had been practicing this on the guitar for awhile and it showed as he started playing the first few chords. You smiled as he started singing, you joined in looking over at him. You walked towards him, he faced you as you guys sung, the song ended faster than you thought it would but that didn't stop either of you from what happened next. Shawn let his guitar fall on his back, he took your arm in his hand pulling you towards him, his other hand went to your cheek, his lips pressing against yours. Your arm went around his neck, your other hand on his chest. 

#shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes imagine #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes

[bf1571681-blog]

JKT48 adalah Idol grup pertama yang berada di Indonesia. JKT48 sendiri memiliki sister grup yang berasal dari jepang yaitu AKB48, seperti namanya JKT48 idol grup ini berbasis di Jakarta. Idol grup ini di bentuk pada tahun 2011 dan diresmikan langsung oleh director serta pencipta lagu AKB48 Yasushi Akimoto pada tanggal 2 November 2011 dengan jumlah personil 28 anggota, karena menurut Yasushi Akomoto JKT48 akan menjadi jembatan persahabatan bagi Indonesia dan Jepang. Di JKT48 memiliki peraturan yang dimana salah satu peraturan tersebut adalah tidak memperbolehkan anggotanya untu memiliki hubungan spesial lebih dari teman atau pacaran. Dan peraturan itu di sebut Golden Rules. JKT48 pertama kali tampil di layar kaca pada acara music di salah satu stasiun tv swasta dan lagu yang pertama kali di bawakan adalah Heavy Rotation. Setalah tampil di salah satu stasiun tv swasta, stasiun tv yang lain pun ikut menghadirkan JKT48 dalam pertelevisian mereka. Selain karena masih fresh fans JKT48 juga memiliki ciri khusus untuk menyaksikan idol grup mereka tampil di panggung.Dengan chant atau tarian khusus para fans dapat mengikuti tiap lagu yang dibawakan oleh para member JKT48. Seiring berjalannya waktu ada beberapa member yang memilih untuk graduate atau keluar dari JKT48, namun itu tidak menyurutkan para penggemar JKT48 karena mereka masih memiliki idol yang mereka sukai. Dengan mengusung konsep “ Idol you can meet “ JKT48 mengadakan pertunjukan show hampir tiap hari di theater JKT48. Sebelum memiliki theater tetap, JKT48 debut pertama kali di teater sementara di Gedung Nyi Ageng Serang dan membawakan pertama kali setlist pajam drive dengan 16 lagu.JKT48 tampil sendiri pada acara mega konser yang ditayangkan di salah satu stasiun tv swasta dengan membawakan 10 lagu. Setelah setlist pajama drive berakhir, JKT48 mengumumkan setlist baru di ulang tahunnya yang menginjak satu tahun. Dan setlist terbaru nya itu berjudul Renai Kinshi Jourei ( Aturan anti cinta ).

[dian48]

Heii sorry baru berkabar karna baru ada kuota nih hehe, btw ini tgl 07 agustus ya wii dlu pertama kalinya perfom di setlist pajama drive 😆

#dian48 JKT48 48

[nurfaadhilah97-blog]

Makna lagu Futari nori no Jitensha (Bersepeda Berdua)

Futari nori no Jitensha (Bersepeda Berdua) merupakan lagu yang di bawahkan pada Setlist Pajama Drive Senshuuraku Di pentaskan JKT48 pada tahun 2013.Di bawakan oleh Generasi 1 dan Generasi 2 membawakan setlist ini untuk pertunjukan teater pertama mereka dengan lirik lagu dalam bahasa Indonesia.

Anggota pementasan :

Ayana Shahab, Beby Chaesara Anadila, Devi Kinal Putri, Gabriela Margareth Warouw, Ghaida Farisya, Jessica Vania, Jessica Veranda, Melody Nuramdhani Laksani, Nabilah Ratna Ayu Azalia, Rena Nozawa, Rezky Wiranti Dhike, Rica Leyona, Sendy Ariani, Shania Junianatha, Sonya Pandarmawan, Stella Cornelia.

Lagu bersama :

- “Shonichi” (“Hari Pertama”) - “Hissatsu Teleport” (“Jurus Rahasia Teleport”) - “Gokigen Naname na Mermaid” (“Putri Duyung yang Sedang Sedih”) - “Futari Nori no Jitensha” (“Bersepeda Berdua”) - “Two Years Later” - “Inochi no Tsukaimichi” (“Cara Menggunakan Hidup”) - “Kiss Shite Son Shichatta” (“Rugi Sudah Dicium”) - “Boku no Sakura” (“Bunga Sakuraku”) - “Wasshoi J!”

Lagu “Wasshoi B!” yang diganti judulnya menjadi “Wasshoi J!”, lirik lagu juga disesuaikan dengan nama anggota JKT48.

- “Suifu wa Arashi ni Yume o Miru” (“Pelaut yang Melihat Mimpi di Tengah Badai”) - “Shiroi Shirts” (“Baju Putih”)

dipentaskan oleh siswi Pelatihan Generasi 3 sejak 24 Mei 2014.

Namun dengan seiring berjalan waktu dan masing-masing team telah mendapatkan setlist tersendiri, maka Pajama Drive pun diberhentikan masa edarnya. Kini setlist ‘maut’ ini kembali dihidupkan lagi oleh team gabungan trainee (gen 4) dan kandidat trainee (gen 5) JKT48 sebagai show regular Theater JKT48 oke kalau begitu langsung kita bahas saja makna dari lagu ini

lirik : Don’t stop jangan hentikan my love selama-lamanya, tolong biarkan ku lewat seperti ini

makna : ini menceritakan seorang perempuan yang sedang diboncengin oleh laki laki yang disukainya sewaktu pulang sekolah.“tolong biarkan ku lewat” maksud dari lirik ini adalah si perempuan bilang ke teman-temannya yang ada di sekitar jalanan yang dia lewati “heii tolong berikan kami lewat yang sedang berduaan”

lirik : Go to kemana-mana heaven bila denganmu ku ingin terus berlari cause i’m loving you

makna : di lirik yang ini menggambarkan betapa bahagianya dia ( si perempuan ) dibonceng oleh laki laki yang disukainya, dan diantar pulang setelah sekolah

lirik : tanpa menoleh ke belakang ke bagian belakang sepeda yang kita naiki berdua aku diam-diam berbisik

makna : tetapi di balik kebahagiaan si perempuan, dia heran kenapa si laki-lakinya tidak pernah mengajak berbicara dengan dia ketika sedang boncengan, bahkan menoleh ke dia juga tidak

lirik : ah, mungkin bagi dirimu hanya teman sekelas saja yang jalan pulangnya searah keberadaan yang seperti angin

makna : akhirnya dia ( si perempuan )berpikir, mungkin laki laki itu hanya menganggap dia sebagi seorang teman sekelas yang jalan pulangnya searah sama dia. dia hanya dianggap seperti “angin” oleh laki laki itu)

lirik : ah, yang selalu bercanda padahal kita slalu saling bicara mengapa hari ini cinta tak abadi yang berputar jauh…

makna : sang perempuan merasa kecewa, padahal kalau di kelas, dia dan laki laki itu akrab, sering mengobrol, sering becanda, tetapi kenapa sewaktu boncengan mereka seperti orang yang belum akrab

lirik : don’t say jangan katakan why not jawaban itu hingga suatu hari jadi kenangan

makna : Dia berharap bahwa si laki laki itu tidak akan pernah mengatakan isi hatinya, karena pasti akan menyakitkan. Biarkan hal itu jadi kenangan saja

lirik : beloved sampai kapanpun one way dalam dadaku bersama dirimu saja i’m so satisfied

makna : Dia ( perempuan )akan mencintai Laki laki itu sampai kapanpun. Ia sudah merasa puas jika ia bisa bertemu si laki laki itu, tanpa dibalas cintanya

lirik : dengan pikiran seenaknya tidaklah perlu imbalan ku kayuh sepeda dan melaju karena di situ ada jalan..

makna : Di lirik yang ini pengibaratan. si perempuan perjuangan cintanya seperti mengayuh sepeda, ia harus terus melaju, move on, karena pasti akan ada jalan lain

lirik : ah, mungkin bagi diriku dirimu yang berarti tidak menyadari apapun cinta tak berbalas dari belakang…

makna : ia mengenang si laki laki. baginya ( perempuam ) laki laki itu sangat berarti untuknya, namun laki laki itu tidak menyadari perasaannya

lirik : ah langit di kala senja seperti mewarnai kota-kota terlalu sedih bayangan kita berdua menjadi satu

makna : si perempuan melihat langit senja saat dibonceng. suasana senja membuat dia semakin sedih, dan melihat bayangan tubuhnya yang terbentuk di aspal, bersatu dengan bayangan si laki laki.

[official-jkt48-blog]

Boku No Sakura

Memperbaiki garis putih di lapangan sekolah

Di bawah matahari aku berlari

Hari-hari masa muda

Jalan milik kamu terbentang lurus dan terus memanjang

Angin yang sesaat bersama dengan debu

Memori jauh di sana

Tidak ingin kalah dari siapapun

Dengan siapakah diriku telah saling bersaing

Sampai tujuan yang aku ingin

Terus jalan walau tak akan sampai

Di tengah mimpi air mata mengalir

Ku hapus dengan tangan ini

Kakak kelas yang berlari di depan

Menghantar bayangan yang panjang

Bunga sakura gugur dan meninggalkan ranting

Tahun depan bersemi lagi

Saat teriakan klub sepakbola telah berhenti

Aku memandang matahari senja yang terbenam

Kesepian musim panas

Pikiran yang bimbang di persimpangan mimpi yang berhenti

Pada saat itu dirimu menepuk pundakku

Dan pergi melewatiku

Sesuatu yang telah diajarkan punggung

Bahwa semua orang berlari dengan tempo yang berbeda

Pada tujuan yang aku ingin

Langit biru menunggu diriku

Mana yang lebih dulu memutuskan pita

Bagaimanapun juga boleh

Musim upacara kelulusan

Di dalam dada pun angin bertiup

Bunga sakura hari ini tercerai berai

Di tempat memikirkanmu

Sampai tujuan yang aku ingin

Terus jalan walau tak akan sampai

Di tengah mimpi air mata mengalir

Ku hapus dengan tangan ini

Kakak kelas yang berlari di depan

Menghantar bayangan yang panjang

Bunga sakura yang tertinggal 

Pasti suatu hari kan berkelana dari ranting

#boku no sakura #jkt48 #akb48 #pajama drive setlist #JKT48 theater #lirik

[thelostneverland]

Hey, Dey!

Per HS High Tension Sabtu, 30 Maret 2019 kalo ditanya oshimen gw siapa, maka dengan cepat gw akan menjawab Rachel, Gracia, dan Vanka. Waw, banyak ya? Iya nih, gw pun bingung tiba-tiba sebanyak ini. Hhaha. 

Tapi tapi tapi....selain oshimen gw juga punya member lain yang gw perhatikan, belum setinggi oshimen namun lebih tinggi dari memfav (member favorite). Gini nih, kalo suka JKT48 as a whole group, ga hanya sekedar suka member/ team tertentu, jadi yang ditandain banyak. Hhaha. Khusus untuk gen 7 gw menyebutnya 7agoan. Tulisan ini gw dedikasikan khusus untuk salah satu 7agoan yang sudah gw amati dari awal. Harapannya adalah ini bisa jadi pengingat bagaimana perjalanan "ga ketolong" gw terhadap 7agoan gw satu ini. Tulisan ini dibagi per babak, setiap babak mewakili interaksi yang berkesan atau yang pertama. Jadi...mulai aja yuk!

Babak 1 -Ujian Step 1- Saka Agari Kamis, 25 Oktober 2018 adalah pertama kali gw melihat anak ini. Gw yang di awal sempat bad mood karena keputusan sepihak JOT yang membuat gw harus WL padahal sampai theater pkl 18.22 karena bingo dimajukan, menjadi good mood setelah melihat dia. Waw, gampang banget ya menyenangkan hati gw :) Perkenalan member Gen 7 sekaligus ujian Step 1. Sekian banyak gen 7, ada 2 yang mencuri perhatian gw, ya salah satunya dia. Namanya gampang diingat, Dey. First impression? "Wah, cakep. Anak gaul Jakarta nih. Hebat juga scoutingnya JOT sekarang." Tapi menurut gw cakep doang ga cukup di JKT48 harus ada skillnya juga. Begitu test di mulai dan Dey menunjukkan kemampuannya langsung gelut sendiri dalam hati, "oke, harus objektif nih. Itu dancenya oke kan ya? Iya beneran oke. Paket lengkap juga nih semuanya ada. Sip, tandain trus kasih tau Anin nanti." Iya, gelut sendiri, pusing sendiri. Harus objektif soalnya kalo laporannya salah nanti dimarahin Anin (T.T). Melihat dari test yang diadakan, menurut gw performancenya Dey menyenangkan untuk dilihat, skillnya ada dan percaya dirinya juga ada. Pembawaannya pun ga berlebihan di atas panggung. Asik banget lah pokoknya. Dan sepertinya banyak yang setuju dengan gw, di akhir sesi Dey lulus ujian Step 1. Yeay!

Babak 2 -Ujian Step 2- Theater no Megami show 1 Minggu, 28 Oktober 2018. Untuk kali ini JOT sudah memberitahukan di web bahwa bingo maju karena ada ujian Step 2. Tapi dasar ya pagi-pagi masih bloon, bukannya cepet-cepet nuker bingo malah jalan santai sambil ngobrol, untung sempet nuker. Hhaha. Ujian kali ini lebih kompleks ketimbang ujian yang Step 1. Menurut gw ujian kali ini bisa lebih keliatan kemampuan member, tapi sayangnya ga semua bisa mendapatkan spotlight sama saat unjuk kemampuan. Untuk step 2 ini, Dey lolos dan jadi Academy Class A. Yeay! Ku tunggu tugas mu menjadi under setlist kakak kelas~ Btw, pas lagi MC 'tuk mengisi waktu luang, Kinal iseng nanya "mau ngebantu kakak tim mana". Jawabannya satu doang, ga berubah, mau ngebantu K3. Hhehe.

Babak 3 -Zenza Project- Tadaima Renaichu 29 November 2018. Selama beberapa tahun gw ngidol, gw adalah #hambaJ alias kalo ga ada moment khusus yang bikin harus nonton setlist team lain, mending nonton J aja. Karena satu dan lain hal gw beralih menjadi #BudaK3 di 2018. Sejujurnya mulai 2018 gw udah lebih bebas untuk nonton theater, tapi ya untuk theater K3 hampir no skip pasca Re:Boost, lalu kadang-kadang nonton T, dan surprisingly nonton J hanya seperlunya. Dari keengganan gw untuk menonton theater J, tiba-tiba muncul 1 alasan kuat bagi gw untuk menonton team J. Apa tuh? Dey kebagian perform jadi zenza girl di team J! Hhmmm....bisa aja JOT jebak-jebak buat nonton J. Tapi masalahnya, itu berhasil. Ketika Dey kode shonichi, gw seperti kebakaran jenggot. Pokoknya gimana caranya gw harus bisa lihat Dey shonichi. Sayangnya waktu itu semesta lagi kurang mendukung, hampir aja gw melewatkan shonichinya Dey. Semua karena  Zenza Project di J itu mulainya sebelum 19.00 (+_+). Waktu gw masuk lagu Party ga Hajimaru Yo! dan posisi Dey sudah ada di dermaga ijo. Ga berapa lama lagunya habis. Untungnya Zenza Project ini performnya 2 lagu, Party ga Hajimaru yo! dan JKT Festival, jadi masih bisa melihat satu lagu utuh. Sejujurnya, kurang begitu klik dengan performance Dey hari itu. Lagu pertama kayak cuma lihat 10 detik jadi ga bisa begitu merhatiin, lagu kedua bisa lihat full tapi masih belum dapet feelnya. Mungkin masih belum terbiasa sama genrenya JKT48, masih awkward-awkward gimana gitu. Postur badannya juga masih agak bungkuk, jadi terlihat kurang oke pas perform.

Babak 4  -Romance Kakurenbo- Petak Umpet Romansa, Theater no Megami 5 Januari 2019. First time solo performance. Gw ga bisa bilang dia sempurna dalam membawakan lagu ini, karena di beberapa bagian masih terlihat overexcited. Tapi gw bisa bilang kalo dia salah satu trainee yang membawakan lagu ini dengan sangat baik. Ekspresi dapet, penghayatan, pun open mic suaranya dia juga oke. Perbandingan dari seluruh performer untuk Petak Umpet Romansa yang pernah gw lihat, dia masuk top 5. Bangga banget sih gw sama Dey (^.^) Dey dapat kesempatan membawakan lagu ini 2x, namun sayangnya gw ga bisa melihat yang kedua. Tetapi berdasarkan pendapat teman-teman gw yang menonton, Dey bagus bawain Romance Kakurenbo-nya. Good job, Dey!

Babak 5 -Pajama Drive- Shonichi Pajama Drive hari ke-2 Minggu, 24 Maret 2019. Akhirnya, yang sudah ditunggu-tunggu dari akhir 2018. Gw nonton hari ke-2, karena kakak gw pas hari pertamanya pacaran jadi katanya bareng aja sekalian di 2. Untung nurut, soalnya semua trainee favorite termasuk 7agoan munculnya di hari ke-2. Hhaha. Lama banget kan nungguin shonichi Academy Class A ini, tapi gw lumayan puas pas lihat hasilnya di show ini. Bagaimana penampilan Dey? Beyond my expectation. Sejujurnya, ekspektasi gw ke dia tuh naik turun. Di awal perkenalan saat masih Academy Class B ekpektasi gw tinggi, lalu menurun pas lihat dia di Zenza Project, naik lagi habis dia solo Romance Kakurenbo, nah makanya di sini sengaja ga bikin ekspektasi apa-apa. Ternyata dia keren banget dong... Unit song Junjou Shugi blocking Veranda, oke ga ada masalah. Tapi gregetan, soalnya menurut gw dia bisa jadi junjou merah. Hhehe. Berhubung gw bukanlah fans dari zaman Pajama Drive, maka gw ga begitu tahu siapa blocking dimana kecuali Brielle blocking Melody, Azizi blocking Shanju, dan Christy blocking Kinal. Setelah lihat Dey di Junjou Shugi ya gw nonton santai aja gitu. Sampai tiba akhirnya lagu Inochi no Tsukaimichi, salah satu lagu JKT48 kesukaan gw, dan ternyata member yang kebagian solo opening "di dalam kereta sambil mendengarkan ipod" adalah Dey! Wah, gila ini sih, seneng banget gw. Kali ini ga membal-membal kayak pas Avocado Janeshi dibawain Gracia, tapi jaw drop saking amaze kalo Dey yang kebagian part awal. Wow... Overall, untuk shonichi hari 2 ini standard shownya tinggi banget, asli deh. Sayangnya standard tinggi ini susah dipertahankan oleh mereka. Karena yang terakhir gw lihat malah makin banyak tabrakan, ga hafal koreo, dan kesalahan lainnya yang seharusnya ga ada di show yang sudah berkali-kali dibawakan. Btw, apa yang gw tunggu akhirnya tercapai, Dey jadi junjou merah! Wah, senang campur sedih sih. Senang karena menurut gw dia mampu untuk mengisi posisi ini dan akhirnya tercapai, sedih karena gw ga lihat dia jadi junjou merah. Mana pas begini dia juga kebagian monolog inochi "apakah ini mimpi?" Double kill dong. Perasaan gw setelah mendapat laporan dari kakak gw yang kebetulan nonton ini sama seperti monolong yang disampaikan oleh Dey, "apakah ini mimpi? (T.T)"

Babak 6 -Idol no Yoake- Idol no Yoake Sabtu, 20 April 2019. Malam sebelumnya Dey udah kode akan perform di InY tapi masih ga jelas sebagai BD atau subs member team. Sampai kemudian akun twitter team J ngetweet kalo Dey bakalan shonichi. Ga pake lama, langsung apply dong gw. Setelah kelewatan dia shonichi jadi junjou merah, gw ga mau kelewatan shonichi dia lagi (T.T) Masuk dan bala, tapi untungnya bisa dapat row 1 di standing tengah dekat jalur masuk FOH. Untungnya posisi gw berdiri ini lumayan sesuai dengan blockingnya Dey, jadi ya gpp. Hhehe. Pas nonton dia tuh, mulai dari deg-degan, senyum-senyum sendiri kalo dia bikin salah, sampai netes dikit di bagian akhir saking bangganya gw. Pertama kali nonton InY dulu, gw ga begitu fokus pas nonton, giliran ini fokus banget. Gw cukup puas dengan performance Dey siang itu. Masih keliatan traineenya, tapi ga terlalu terlihat tertinggal daripada member lain yang sudah jauh lebih dulu shonichi di InY. Show ini kan 1 member doang (Dey) yang shonichi, tapi gw seperti melihat ada 3 member yang shonichi. Masih parah aja sih udah shonichi lama juga, bahkan Dey ga separah itu :( Overall, gw menikmati InY tanggal 20 April 2019 karena ada Dey di dalamnya. Gw yang biasanya biasa aja di Arigatou, hari itu akhirnya netes dikit. Kenapa coba? Mungkin karena gw lega Dey bisa perform dengan baik, bangga akutu sama dia. Masih ada yang salah? Masih dong. Ga hafal? Ada lah. Tapi bagusnya Dey ini, sekali lirik sebelah langsung ngerti gerakan apa yang harus dia lakukan setelahnya. Anaknya adaptif banget ya, cepat menyesuaikan dengan sekitar. Nabrak-nabrak? Ga beda jauh sama member J lainnya. Member lain pun banyak yang ganti blockingnya ga smooth. Kesalahan yang paling diingat? Ada 2. Satu, pas lagi di M01 itu kok gerakan tangan sama kaki ngangkatnya sama ya? Gugup banget apa makanya kaki sama tangannya pas lagi gerakan baris-berbaris ngangkatnya sama? Kocak. Wkwkwk. Kedua, pas di lagu yang agak akhir tapi lupa apa. Setau gw kalo pindah blocking tuh lewat belakang, ini Dey jalan depan member yang lagi kebagian nyanyi. Kocak lagi kan. Hhaha.

Jadi, segini dulu tulisan gw. Kali ini memang hanya sampai babak 6, tapi gw yakin masih akan banyak babak-babak selanjutnya. Hhehe. Semoga Dey bisa semakin berkembang, jago, dan menjadi idol yang membuat fansnya selalu bangga dan bahagia akan eksistensinya. Sehat-sehat terus, karena kayaknya udah beberapa kali ngedrop. Semoga bisa masuk tim sesuai dengan yang diinginkan. Bye.

-TbC-

#A_DeyJKT48 #DheaAngelia #Dey #JKT48TheaterExperience

[official-jkt48-blog]

Hissatsu Teleport

Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Lawanlah daya tarik dari cinta (Jump! Jump! Jump!)

Hatiku sedikit saja layangkanlah (Jump! Jump! Jump!)

Terbangkanlah orang yang kusuka

Tolonglah teleport

Tolonglah teleport

Hissatsu teleport

Jalan sekolah di pagi hari

Kalian yang di depanku (hey! boys!)

Good Morning aku ucapkan

Aku agak dicuekkin (masa sih!)

Aaah... jika semua melihat (uuuh)

Laki-laki itu pemalu (lucunya)

Selalu pasang tatapan keren (uuuh)

Hingga di angkasa sana 

Di kejauhan pertemuan antara kita berdua

Tempat yang tak ada siapapun

Hissatsu telepo-orto

Tolonglah teleport

Tolonglah teleport

Hissatsu teleport

Walau kucoba melewatimu

Kau tampak tidak tertarik (oh ya?)

Kau pun berpaling dan berbicara

Ayo lihat ke sini (lihat ke sini)

Ah jika saja aku bisa (bibibibibi)

Memakai satu kekuatan (hoii)

Dalam sekejap kau akan kuhapus

Dirimu yang selama ini ada di situ

Mengapa hanya dalam sesaat

Ke tempat diriku berada

Hissatsu telepo-orto

Hingga di angkasa sana

Di kejauhan pertemuan antara kita berdua

Tempat yang tak ada siapapun

Hissatsu telepo-orto

(puruppupparurudaddaddaddira)

Lawanlah daya tarik dari cinta 

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Hatiku sedikit saja layangkanlah 

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Terbangkanlah orang yang kusuka

Melanggar peraturan dari cinta

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Tak perlu pilih cara dapatkanlah 

Jump! Jump! Jump!

Kudapatkan orang yang kusuka

Jump! Jump! Jump!

#Hissatsu Teleport #JKT48 #JKT48 theater #pajama drive setlist #lirik

[official-jkt48-blog]

Shonichi (Hari Pertama)

Aku berdiri di atas

Panggung yang selalu ku dambakan

Di tengah eluan

Tepuk tangan dan juga semangat

Dengan latihan yang ketat

Ku lampaui dinding diriku

Sambut hari ini

Tirai kesempatan pun terbuka

Aku pun tidak menari sendiri

Ada hari ku nangis di jalan pulang

Aku bernyanyi tanpa berpikir

Ada hariku hilang percaya diri

Selalu sainganku terlihat seolah bersinar

Impian ada di tengah peluh

Bagai bunga yang mekar secara perlahan

Usaha keras itu tak akan mengkhianati

Impian ada di tengah peluh

Selalu menunggu agar ia menguncup

Suatu hari pasti sampai harapan terkabul

Lampu sorot yang ternyata

Begitu terang seperti ini

Bagai malam panjang

Menjadi fajar mentari pagi

Sudah pasti aku tidak

Mau kalah dari kakak kelasku

Kami ingin buat

Show diri kami sendiri

Ada hariku menangis sedih

Saat ku libur karena ku cedera

Ada hariku sudah menyerah

Imbangi sekolah beserta latihan

Tapiku mendengar encore dari suatu tempat

Impian setelah air mata

Bunga senyuman setelah tangis berhenti

Wujudkan terus usaha keras pun akan mekar

Impian setelah air mata

Ku percaya takkan kalah dari angin hujan

Sampai doaku mencapai langit cerah

Penuh semangat mari menari

Penuh semangat mari bernyanyi

Tanpa lupakan tujuan awal

Kerahkan seluruh tenaga... ooh...

Impian ada di tengah peluh

Bagai bunga yang mekar secara perlahan

Usaha keras itu tak akan mengkhianati

Impian ada di tengah peluh

Selalu menunggu agar ia menguncup

Suatu hari pasti sampai harapan terkabul

#shonichi #jkt48 #hari pertama #pajama drive setlist