#portugal and spain: brothers in getting fucked over by the votes

[marciliedonato]

all the eurovision girlies (gn) after spain only got 5 points

#The meme that keeps on giving #Esc 2023 #esc #eurovision 2023 #eurovision #portugal and spain: brothers in getting fucked over by the votes #the moment we got the death spot in the order ik it was over but this SHOCKED me my mouth dropped #esc spain #spain #blanca paloma #eaea #wow anna said something #yes im still making esc posts im watching crack videos bc it was such a mess #anna's shitposts

[beauty-and-passion]

What Eurovision 2021 taught us

1. That a nice, enjoyable show was possible (even if 4 presenters are still too much)

Of course nothing can beat Love Love Peace Peace (even if Ja Ja Ding Dong does its best), but this year's intermissions were very enjoyable.

We expected something flashy and over the top because hey, The Netherlands. Sex, drugs, gays and all that jazz.

But instead Covid surprised us. And then The Netherlands surprised us even more, by making a very enjoyable show, despite the restrictions. My personal favourites were:

The water intermission of the first semi-final. I loved the mixed feelings, how water is both scary and respected, for being such a powerful, unstoppable force.

The rooftop concerts during the final. Social distancing? Sure, no problem, let's make the past winners sing on top of some roofs all over Rotterdam. That was pure genius, I loved it so much.

On the other hand, the presenters were basically all useless. We could've had just two of them instead of four. But hey, at least they weren't as cringy as the three scary ukranians from 2017 or the useless four ladies from Portugal. The true highlights of the show were the intermissions, the guests and especially the songs themselves and this is perfectly good for me.

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2. That we can live in a world without boring ass ballads

I’ve never been so proud of the Eurovision public, especially during the second semifinal: that evening was PACKED with ballads. Boring ballad after boring ballad, with just a couple more funny songs in between.

The ballads were all left behind. Even the two Amen. And I love the irony we chose El Diablo and the finnish band for the final, but no Amen. No saints allowed, only the norwegian angel. As it always should be.

And so we had the best final I've seen since I started following Eurovision in 2014. Catchy songs, dance songs, upbeat songs. And power ballads. Yes, ballads can still have a place, but only if they're good.

Because yes, Switzerland and France were good. Very good. Just not as good as the ones the public wanted.

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3. That we want Eurovision, not Englishvision

Every year, the same message blasts from all Europeans: send a song in your native language. This show is supposed to make other people from Europe (and the rest of the world) to know more about your own country, to enjoy its rhythm and to listen to something we don't usually hear. So why waste this huge opportunity, to bring a generic song in English?

Because the English song wins. Because we all understand English, so English has more chances.

Flash news: GUESS WHO WON THIS YEAR. No, it’s not the generic English song.

The public has been crystal clear, the final poll is even clearer: the top five includes an italian song, an ukraine song, two french songs and only one english song. We want different styles and rhythms, we want to listen to Europe.

So I want to give my full thank you to:

Albania: amazing song, great voice, wonderful language. Do it again.

Serbia: these ladies are fantastic, their song is great and they sang it in their language so I love them

Switzerland: thank you for leaving English to the side to give us some good french

Spain: the song wasn't as good as Universo, but it was in sexy spanish, so thank you for using it almost every year

Danemark: the song was terrible, but it was in your language and this alone deserves everything

France: I know we all make fun of you for being France, but your language is perfect for songs, so thank you for always using it

Ukraine: take note, Ukraine, because Europe is madly in love with your language and your rhythm

Italy: our language is beautiful, so thank you for delivering every year

While my biggest biases go to:

Greece: a generic pop song with no balkan rhythm and no greek either? An absolute shame, greek should always be used for songs.

Russia: russian language is very melodious and yes, we got something this year, but what about bringing a full russian song? We want it!

Germany: I may sound crazy, but I honestly think german language is good for songs. It's not like the mediterranean languages, but it still works. So please, do not be scared and show what you can do with it!

Scandinavian countries: why do you never want to bring your own language? Do it, don't be scared! Yes, Sweden, I'm talking with you: you still never tried to bring something in swedish, so do it.

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4. That we don't want Americans to play with us

For reasons we still have to understand, Flo Rida was competing this year. And he was competing for San Marino, the smallest European country.

I'm pretty sure they took some time to explain to him what was going on, where he was, where San Marino is, wtf was happening, why there were sexy italians and ukranian witches and a norwegian angel and loads of beautiful women everywhere.

And I loved how we all send memes about this, about ahahah why is Flo Rida here, what if San Marino wins where would they host Eurovision, all while enjoying an actual catchy song.

And then, in the end, Flo Rida basically disappeared. Who remembers Flo Rida, when we got Ukraine, Italy, Finland, Iceland, and the UK? And Germany being wholesome? And the love story between Norway and Azerbaijan? We collectively forgot about him and I think it's very sexy from Europe to just say "nope" and push America away, even if for just one week.

And this isn't the first time: we basically showed Madonna in a corner in 2019, thanks to Mans, Eleni, Verka and Conchita. Once again, Europeans knows what they want: we don't want Americans. Australia can because they're like that little brother we took under our wing for no reason and now it's part of us. But not Americans.

The rest of the year is all yours, but one week is ours.

________________________

5. That we can lose like bosses

This year, the voting results have been absolutely insane and FOUR COUNTRIES got zero points from the public, while the UK got both zero points from the public AND the jury.

Don't get me wrong, the song was bad. And yes, Brexit played a role in this. And yes, hating England is Europe’s favourite sport.

But can we please all take a moment and appreciate how James Newman reacted? The public gave him a round of applause and he celebrated this achievement like a boss.

And he had all the reasons! He achieved something incredible, he unlocked something that this new voting system was supposed to never lead to. But he did it. So hats off to you, my boy: My Last Breath was better.

Germany is also used to the bottom of the chart, but this year I really thought Jendrik could have a chance to achieve a higher position. The song was funny, carefree, lively, the hand costume was the kind of trash we need and the message was nice as well. But he still got 3 points.

Despite that, Jendrik celebrated like a maniac and seeing his this happy made me happy as well. I really wish him the best.

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6. That FUCK YOU JURY

Again, same message every year: the jury vote should be eliminated. It's a fucking farce and their votes have nothing to do with what the public want.

The jury focuses on the voices, except when they don't, and clearly giving points to your neighbours is because you like the song, not because they're your neighbours.

I usually make fun of Greece and Cyprus showing eternal love to each other, by giving 12 points to each other every year, but this time, it sounded even more stupid than usual. It really looked like a farce. Why should we see this farce? Why can't we just choose what the public wants? So at least we would blame ourselves for our shitty musical tastes.

Even if I'm pretty sure we all have great musical tastes. Let's not forget that in 2019 the public's winner was Norway, with a song that mixed english, a catchy rhythm and an amazing part in yoik language. Arcade is good as well, but we cannot deny the norwegian entry was a lot more interesting.

And this year, the public's taste was flawless:

Look at this beauty: italian glam rock, ukranian techno folk, french powerful ballad, finnish hard rock and whatever that thing was with Iceland.

There's variety, there's everything for everyone. And there are native languages. Italian, Ukranian, and French on top three, followed by English.

Moral of the story: the public is great and the jury should be abolished forever.

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7. That Ukranian technofolk is all we needed in our lives

I didn’t see enough love for Go_A, so as italian, I think it's my sworn duty to give my appreciation to them and their amazing entry, because this band is awesome and Shum is currently on top of the Spotify top 50 - as it should be, because everyone should listen to it and join this slavic rave party.

I already liked their entry for 2020, Solovey. But I also liked My Last Breath from the UK and Universo from Spain. And this year they brought two of the worst songs. So I was very wary of Go_A.

But Shum is an absolute blast. Katerina Pavlenko's voice is unique and the song is even more, because based on ukranian folklore and traditional dances to summon the spirit of spring. They managed to teach something to all Europe in a three minute song and I think that’s incredibly sexy of them.

And so, I searched for other songs and OMG, I don’t know how it’s possible, but they are all great. Rano-Ranenko, Zhalmenina, Tanula, they all are perfect and I’m in love with this band.

And if all of this is not enough, THEY DID A COVER OF DANCING LASHA TUMBAI. The most iconic Eurovision song, sang by our god Verka. And this is the coolest, most badass cover ever in the whole universe. Please listen to it HERE everyone needs to hear this.

So thank you, Ukraine, for giving us Go_A. We all had a small empty place in our hearts and this place has ben perfectly filled by them.

And yif you think you don’t need ukranian technofolk, is only because you still haven’t listened to it. Please listen and enjoy Shum. You’re welcome.

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8. That rock and roll never dies (and Italy’s well deserved victory)

The last time Italy won was in 19-fucking-90. 31 years ago. I was just born.

And now, they finally won again. And what a song! Despite being italian, I've never listened to Maneskin before, but oh damn, this song is good. Not all their songs are, but this one is. And also Morirò da re.

Their show was perfect as well. This post is really eye-opening about how well they put on their show. The use of the stage, the movements, everything has been part of a great performance, even their clothes. Damiano's voice never faltered, despite having an entire continent watching him. They handled the stage like bosses, despite being only in their twenties. And they gave us some good fucking rock.

And so the public said a loud "FUCK YOU" to the jury and chose its winners. The sassy, sexy italians.

And yes, I know that there has been a lot of petty polemics because those youngsters are having drugs!1!! as if they were a bunch of idiots who used drugs on international TV, with their manager sitting next to them.

Of course it was a pointless accusation and honestly I don't care if some people are sore losers. The drug results were negative anyway, what a shocker.

What we should truly think about is how strong the Maneskin's bladders are, because they spent the whole evening of the final drinking the entire alcohol supply of the Eurovision and, at the end, they were still happy and cool. Hats off to you, you sexy people.

This man is just iconic, why did I miss him before.

Also, have some more Maneskin. You know, as a treat.

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9. That solidarity and wholesomeness are the biggest winners

It's just beautiful to see these nice people, from all over Europe, bonding, having fun, taking photos together and being friends.

The true winner of this, is probably Norway: Tix wanted to have a good time and he had a good time. The video of him vibing with Ukraine and Germany while listening Hard Rock Hallelujah is the best (HERE). His love story with Efendi from Azerbaijan is even better (please, check the video on his youtube channel, it's hilarious). I don't like his song, but he's a great guy and deserves everything.

The italian and finnish rock relationship is also great. Maneskin and Dark Sides found each other, considering they were the only two rock bands in the competition, so mutual appreciation was inevitable.

But Damiano is also a man of culture and he appreciates Ukraine's entry. And Ukraine appreciates both Finland and Italy. Is this what world peace looks like? Because I love it.

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10. That Italians will be Europe's clowns again (and you're all allowed to make fun of us)

Beware, Europe: we Italians are messy and chaotic, our presenters don’t know a single word in English, we are homoerotic AND homophobic at the same time, our musical competitions are so fucking sloooow... let’s say next year’s Eurovision is going to be interesting.

And yes, you’re allowed to make fun of us. We don’t care, we won, so we deserve to be Europe’s clowns once again.

And I don’t know who the presenters will be (my bets are on everyone’s favourites: Fiorello, Amadeus and Malgioglio), I don’t know how we will ridicule ourselves once again, I don’t know where will we find the money to put on the show, I don’t know how ungodly long it will be... but I know that Mans Zelmerlow will be part of it. This man loves Eurovision just like all of us, so I can already see him packing his suitcase and planning his flight to Italy. Come to us, Mans, we will wait for you. We actually need an English presenter, so if you have nothing else to do...

#beauty talks about stuff #eurovision #eurovision 2021 #italy #ukraine #uk #maneskin #go_a #europe #I bet you all forgot again about san marino #and flo rida #why was he here #we might never know #uk stop being sore losers and take yourself less seriously #france you did great #but ukraine did better #go_a my beloved #thank you maneskin for delivering some good music #finland was awesome #some good rock heck yes #such good songs #thank you europe for giving us such amazing show #and now back to my regular scheduling

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 105 - 101

105. Mariya Yaremchuk - “Tick tock” Ukraine 2014

Conform with the “GODDESSES ONLY” clause of their Eurovision contract, Ukraine once again have blessed us with an amazing opener (Seriously. First Melovin, then Eduard, now this? WE WERE ROBBED OF MARUV OPENING THE FINALE). 

"Tick tock” is a bit too elementary to put into my top 100, HOWEVER that is also why it’s such an easy song to get into. High (production-)quality Ukranian trashpop 😍 Which won Vidbir as an unintentional incest anthem 😍 (if you don’t know, the original version opened with “We belonged to each other, like a sister to a brother” Cersei Lannister is quaking.) 

Naturally, the main reason why Mariya ranks this high is, of course, the staging. THE HAMSTER WHEEL IS LEGENDARY:

Mariya casually flinging herself on top of that giant spinning contraption and torturing her poor hot dancer. 😍 I’d say the staging makes no sense, but then I realized Ukraine probably went with this act because it’s DIRT CHEAP <3 (which is funny as long as you don’t think about why they went with a lowbudget act 😭). It’s just so... honorarily Moldovan? 😍 Ukraine and Moldova using each other as horcruxes <3 Name a more epic ESC alliance, I will wait. Until then,

________________________________________________________________

104. Sanja Vucic - “Goodbye (Shelter)” Serbia 2016

... let us celebrate this glorious cross-over between “Molitva”, “Running” and “l’Amore è femmina”. 😍 “Shelter” takes the best aspects from these three entries and combines them into a increasedly shouty mess. As you can imagine, I LOVE this witches’ cabal of hackneyed hand choreos, shredded leather and facial gymnastics. Most ESC performers would keep their miming to the precise amount of what they need, but Sanja is (and has always been) so UNPLUGGED with her irate facial expressions. A reel:

Which, in a song with such a HEAVY topic as spousal abuse is actually quite appropriate. You show those awful shit husbands, girl!!! 

And you’d think that would be *IT*, but nope you’re wrong because :TEEHEE: I also think “Shelter” is a great song even without the messy misandry. The song is catchy, moody and highly relistenable. It’s one of the better mid-tier bops of this ranking. No wonder it got televotes from all over Euro-

oh. (🤣)

CONGRATZ BOJANA ON BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED SERBIAN ENTRY.

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103. Alyona Lanskaya - “Solayoh” Belarus 2013

HI 🙂 MY NAME IS ALYONA LANSKAYA 🙂 I AM FROM BELARUS 🙂 MY SONG SOLAYOH.  🙂

2013 is mostly remembered as the year of ‘splicing unnecessary dubstep into your song’, but there is another recurring trend which was even better. The ‘female performer enters the stage with STYLE’ and as far as stylistic entrances go, Alyona’s is one of the best. This emissary  from the planet Solayoh emerged immediately from her discoball-shaped Escape pod upon landing to tell us all the love and joys of her homeworld 😍

What follows is a lametastic banality anthem, riddled with ESL sentences (”We can make it into hot night” 😍.) and of course, a few iconic hand choreographies:

Topping off the hilarity is the idea of a well-off socialite such as Alyona Lanskaya singing about how “she had work hard all day :lip pout:” while wiggling her dress’s cerulean bossom fringes. 😍😂 Bribing juror being such hard work. <3 We stan lazy queens. 😍

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102. Sofi Marinova - “Love unlimited” Bulgaria 2012

DO REN DEM DEM DEI 

Speaking of lazy queens, remember when Bulgaria send an act that consisted entirely of a haggard ponytailed garuda wiggling her diddeys around like-a-so: 

I’m only a recent convert to the Church of Marinova, only seeing the light during my last rewatch and I mean, how could I not fall in love eventually? “Love unlimited” is such a lowbudget afair, a basic dance track whose sole gimmick is saying “I love you” in like 46 different languages. 😍 

As such, "Love unlimited” totally shouldn’t work... and yet it absolutely does? It’s a similar deal to Jurij, except the person taking the stage here is a lovably dimwitted middle-aged hagress who is completely oblivious to the fact that she has no chance to qualify and is giving still giving it her damn’ all, in doing so ALMOST reaching the final from a lost position. WHAT A TROOPER. I LOVE *YOU* SO MUCH, Sofi-Trophy. 😍

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101. Conan Osiris - “Telemóveis” Portugal 2019

A lot of people blame several artistic decisions behinds Conan’s NQ, but I’ve had my doubts even before the rehearsals began: this is what I wrote a full month before the semi: 

Conan’s main problems rise from the fact that he tries to be artistic and humorous at the same time, and the two cancel each other out somewhat.

(...) There’s a very high chance “Telemóveis” highbrow message will  fly over the heads of the audience and there’s an equally high chance it will backfire on Conan when it does. 

Portugal faces severe competition from the other acts. They compete with Slovenia for the “This Is High Quality” value-seeking vote, with Iceland and Australia for the novely vote and with Czech Republic and Greece for the “yeah this is actually really fucking clever” highbrow vote. He even competes with Serhat somehwat, both being OTT acts that are on later in the semi. 

It could very well mean death by a thousand cuts for Portugal.

SURPRISE, I actually got it right for once!! 

Of course, “Telemóveis” was less good in Tel Aviv than it was during FdC (people incorrecly blame the dress. I personally thought it was a combination of nerves, João spraining his knee and technical difficulties, much more than the dress). 

Anyway, even if he wasn’t as good in Tel Aviv, a lesser “Telemóveis” is still pretty damn great so idk why everyone was is tripping? The song was still a disarmingly weird acid trip of fado funk, snappy vocals and a bonkers choreography that left the average viewer utterly GOBSMACKED. 😍 It’s one of those entries where, when looking back in a few years, everyone will say was way AHEAD of the curve and that’s never a bad demograph to be a part of. 

CONGRATZ SUZY ON WINNING PORTUGAL!!! But moreover,

CONGRATULATIONS TOP 100!!!! K time for a little recap of who is still in this ranking:

Albania: 2 (Juliana, Eugent) Armenia: 2 (Aram, Iveta) Australia: 1 (KMH) Austria: 2 (Conchita, Zoë) Azerbaijan: 2 (Farid, DiHaj) Belarus: 3 (Litesound, IVAN, NAVIBAND) Belgium: 4 (Tom Dice, Loic, Laura Tesoro, Blanche) Bosnia & Herzegovina: 1 (Dino Merlin) Bulgaria: 3 (Elitsa & Stoyan, both Poli’s) Croatia: 0 Cyprus: 2 (Minus One, Eleni) Czech Republic: 1 (Lake Malawi) Denmark: 1 (Rasmussen) Estonia: 5 (Malcolm Lincoln, Ott, Birgit, Stigelina, Elina Netchayeva) Finland: 4 (Kuukuiskaajat, Krista, Softengine, Norma John) France: 3 (Jessy, Madame Monsieur, Amir) Georgia: 4 (Sopho N., Shin&Mariko, Nina S., Nika) Germany: 2 (Lena 2.0, Michael) Greece: 2 (Giorgos, Koza Mostra) Hungary: 4 (Kati, Andras, Joci 1.0, AWS) Iceland: 3 (Hera, Greta 2.0, Hatari) Ireland: 1 (Molly) Israel: 3 (Nadav, Hovi, Imri) Italy: 4 (Emma, Francesca, Francesco, Mahmood) Latvia: 3 (Aarzemnieki, Aminata, Justs) Lithuania: 2 (Fusedmarc, Ieva) Macedonia: 1 (Jana) Malta 2: (Gianluca, Michela) Moldova: 4 (Pasha, Aliona, Sunstroke 2.0, DoReDoS) Montenegro: 1 (Who See & Nina Z.) the Netherlands: 4 (Joan, Anouk, Common Linnets, Duncan) Norway: 2 (JOWST, KEiiNO) Poland: 1 (Cleo) Portugal: 1 (Suzy) Romania: 1 (Paula & Ovi 1.0) Russia: 1 (Polina) San Marino: 1 (Crisalide) Serbia: 1 (Bojana) Slovakia: 0 Slovenia: 5 (Maja, Tinkara, Maraaya, Lea, ZalaGasper) Spain: 2 (Ruth, Miki) Sweden: 2 (Loreen, Måns) Switzerland: 3 (Sebalter, ZiBBZ, Luca) Turkey: 1 (maNga) Ukraine: 2 (Zlata, Jamala) United Kingdom: 1 (Lucie)

LINK TO THE FULL LIST SO FAR (IMGUR)

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Top 100 #Portugal #Conan Osiris #Telemoveis #Bulgaria #Belarus #Ukraine #Serbia #Sanja Vucic #Goodbye (Shelter) #Mariya Yaremchuk #Tick Tock #Alyona Lanskaya #Solayoh #Sofi Marinova #Love unlimited

[salistenandreview]

My thoughts on Eurovision 2018--reviews by country

So, I consider myself metal, or at the very least, rock n roll. I don’t really fit the stereotype, but it’s the music I grew up on and it has been my one everlasting love my whole life.

That being said, I have a sort of annual tradition that I started sometime in the past 10 years. One summer I visited Germany and learned of Eurovision, a song contest held in the European countries as a way to promote peace yet give the natives of each country a sense of pride in their country competing through music. (I guess soccer isn’t enough, or isn’t peaceful enough.)

Anyway, since then, I’ve always made it a point to go to https://eurovision.tv/ and see what songs and what countries are in the contest each year. I’m doing my reviews of these songs/videos pretty much at the last minute this year, since the contest is going to be over come Saturday.

So I crammed and watched all the videos tonight. My notes for my impressions of each country are listed below, in alphabetical order. The majority of these songs are generic pop, which I find rather disappointing. Last year had much better submissions overall.

My TOP 5 favorites this year are: 1--Hungary 2--Czech Republic 3--Switzerland 4--Denmark and 5--Iceland If I hadn't heard Switzerland and been impressed, Norway and Moldova would have been on here tied for #5 for me, but Switzerland jumped up there and bumped them

NOW, without further ado:

Albania--As it’s not in English I don’t know what this song is about (reading the lyrics translation tells me it’s a standard love song), BUT I really like the sound of it. The performance art looking stuff for the video is pretty neat too.

Armenia--OK, I’m digging this too. It’s definitely not dancey pop. It’s more intense. It could be mistaken for a metal band’s ballad. The visuals from the video are pretty decent too.

Australia--This lady has a nice voice, but the song overall is generic pop and not really grabbing me.

Austria--More radio friendly generic pop. But I’m betting the dance remix to this would be interesting at raves

Azerbaijan--And here comes the dancey pop. Nothing really to say about this song. It’s radio friendly, it works for background sound, but nothing that really grabs me.

Belarus--This video has some visual elements that make me cringe. The song overall flows pretty well. This song makes me think of Panic! At the Disco, but without Brendan Urie’s edginess to it

Belgium--This song is boring. It basically sounds like it belongs on a movie soundtrack as a song that is playing softly in the background while some low-key action is going on to take us into the next scene. *yawen*

Bulgaria--This song makes me think of Enigma. It’s synthesizers and airy fairy sounds.

Croatia--Croatian Mariah Carey does a sort of lounge act type song. But it’s all sizzle and no steak.

Cyprus--Definitely dancey dance pop, and the lyrics are kinda silly, but the song overall has a good sound to it, and this lady knows what she’s doing. No wonder in her country she is the “Queen of Pop”

Czech Republic--This guy is so dorky cute. I’m liking the jazz elements and he seems to know his way around how to rap and keep a good rhythm. As I’m doing these in alpha order, so far this one is BY FAR my favorite.

Denmark--Hello sexy vikings. This song belongs in an epic movie about viking heroes. Currently liking this one in spot #2 after Czech Republic

Estonia--This lady has a very beautiful operatic voice. The song overall is kinda meh though.

FYR Macedonia--First part of the song I keep thinking “This lady is singing pop music over the beat to one of the levels of Super Mario World”. Then after that, generic dancey pop.

Finland--Quick! Someone get Tobi Sammet to fix this song and make it more metal, the lyrics/melody are too good to be some weird ass pop song. The visuals have some good edginess to it. But for real, make this song metal and it will seriously kick some ass. If Tobi isn’t available, see what Devin and Andy Oliver of I See Stars can do with it.

France--As is often the case, the French somehow manage to be disappointing and lofty at the same time. The French participant last year was so much better.

Georgia-These men have very lovely voices, and the song is pretty. However, this sounds like a glorified college a cappella group.

Germany--Germany decided to chance it on a Youtuber this year. He does have a very nice voice, and this song could probably get played on any station where they play Bruno Mars. So to me, it’s good but it’s not great.

Greece--The song at the visuals work well together. Running through the woods on the search for something. This is another song that sounds like it should be in some epic movie with vikings or knights or something like that in it.

Hungary--FINALLY! Someone decided to give something metal another shot. It’s low-key metal but the elements are there. This one just jumped to my #1

Iceland--aww, this boy is so precious. I want to hug him and protect him forever. He’s a beautiful singer and the song is pretty without being boring. He’s currently my #4

Ireland--Another angel-voiced boy singing about love in a sad way, so another song that could be played on the radio on a station that plays Bruno Mars. While this song doesn’t grab me, the gay-positive vibes from the video might be what wins Ireland the contest. But I personally put this on about the same level as the song from Germany, it’s good but not particularly great.

Israel--I have no clue what this lady is doing. This song is wtf? Did Desiigner write this song for her?  I”m very confused and a little scared.

Italy--Nope, just nope. These guys don’t even sound like they are singing, but just sort of chanting along in a rhythm that isn’t consistent, with some background music in. Way to flop, Italy.

Latvia--I mean, yeah, I see what you’re doing here...but hasn’t this been done a million times already? Very generic female vocalist pop.

Lithuania--If I liked this girl’s voice (something about it kind of annoys me), I’d probably like the song more. It’s kind of boring piano based pop though.

Malta--This song took over a third of the video’s time before it actually started, and then once it did it really went nowhere fast except to generic dancey-pop town. With the buildup of the visuals I was hoping for a bit more of something.

Moldova--I’m a little surprised but I actually rather like this song a lot. I think I’ll put it as #5 for me currently. Maybe it’s just a refreshing break from all the disappointment of the preceding songs with their overdone dancey pop.

Montenegro--Digging the visuals, the guy has a good voice. The song sounds like one a minor character would sing in an opera, where he whines that he’s not a major character because he isn’t loved enough to be anything more than a sidekick

Norway--OK, this is delightful. It hearkens back to 80’s videos on MTV. So cute. Tied with Moldova for #5 currently

Poland--more generic pop that sounds exactly the same as the other generic pop. They even have the same chords.

Portugal--I pretty much just skipped through this video on like 6 seconds intervals, and nothing EVER changed. Boring.

Romania--This song took forever to go somewhere. Lots of potential (once it finally picks up and starts doing something) but just doesn’t make it up there in the top 5 for me.

Russia--once again, boring generic pop. And I think Russia is trying to win a sympathy vote or something. *SMH*

San Marino--Generic pop, with a girl who raps, and robots. Um, ok.

Serbia--This song went all over the place. Epic, tribal, pop. I don’t hate it. But not entirely on board with it. Seems like it’s trying just a bit too hard

Slovenia--nice choreography. It’s a simple pop beat, but it’s not beating a dead horse like a lot of the other pop stuff above.

Spain--OK, it’s a sweet love song. But I’m not really digging either of their voices. Too whiney sounding

Sweden--OK Sweden, 2 things. 1--You did this before with Erik Saade, and frankly he was much better at it. 2--All these other countries are submitting Bruno Mars sounding boys, and if you’re not going to go metal (which you’re the best in the world at, btw), can’t you at least submit someone who is really fucking edgy like Tove Lo???  You make me sad Sweden. This boy is ok, he’s adorable, but the song is bland.

Switzerland--I honestly thought I was going to hate this, a brother/sister duo? But I am very pleasantly surprised and this song kicks some ass! I’m putting it at #3 between Czech Republic and Denmark

The Netherlands--I seriously appreciate that there’s some songs on here that’s not boring generic pop. But this sounds like country music. This would be in my top 10 but not my top 5.

Ukraine--This guy is sexy. The song is pretty good. Better than good, but still not great. It makes top 10 but not top 5.

The UK--More generic pop. I don’t know why I bothered, since the UK in particular never really even TRIES with this contest. They just phone it in.

#songs reviews Europe EU contest Eurovision 2018 popmusic