#quite honestly with what's going on in my life rn i can't be half assed to care about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

borahaerhy · 1 year

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D-Day is an absolute masterpiece; let's discuss.

Obscenely long description of each of the songs under the cut

TL;DR: I'm an emotional wreck and this is the best album I've ever heard for so many reasons.

Haegeum??? That MV??? Never wanted to quit my job and start a gang that bullied the rich and steals their money more in my life (and trust me, that's something I've wanted to do since I was like 13). Yoongi is the only rich man I'd ever let lecture me about capitalism. He can do it all day every day. This is a fucked system, but thank you for turning me on while lecturing me about it and murdering people with some dirty chopsticks 🥴

D-Day is absolutely sick, 100% exactly what I'd expect from him. How a song can go so hard and still be so poetic to me is just insane. The beat is SICKENING. The chorus? CATCHY. 10/10 song, perfect opener to the album and set's the tone for the rest that's coming in an amazing way.

HUH?! killed me. We open the song with "what the shit do you know about me" and bro? Nothing, ion know shit about fuck, but you got me all the way fucked up with that attitude. Hoseok?? THE "HUH"S EVERYWHERE?? dead. deceased. The beat? Would literally sell my soul to be able to be in the studio when that man makes anything. I went to school to be an audio engineer, I've seen the way people put music together and create these catchy ass beats and have even made a few of my own, but FUCK BRO THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS MAN IN THE STUDIO.

^^That goes for every song, not just Huh, but I just thought that it was important for EVERYONE to know that I'd sacrifice my firstborn child just to watch this man work.

AMYGDALA had me in tears. I was literally sobbing reading the lyrics. There are no words I can say that will accurately express how I feel about this song. This song has been out for less than 24 hours and I already feel so close to it, I can't even begin to describe it. The way most of the instruments fall out in the pre-chorus just so they can all come back in the chorus for that intensity with him basically yelling the lyrics is just *chef's kiss*.

SDL Is so cute and heartbreaking at the same time. The chorus is everything, so beautiful. Talk about bitter sweet lyrics, I'm eating that shit up. His vocals are absolutely outstanding, that "I'm thinking 'bout you" is making me so delulu you have no idea.

People Pt. 2 has already been out, but man that song is gorgeous. IU's vocals are such a great contrast to Yoongi's rap, and when they harmonize I wanna start crying whY DO THEY SOUND SO GOOD??!

I'M NOT KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WAS CRYING, LEGIT SOBBING THE FIRST TIME I HEARD POLAR NIGHT. The instrumental is so uniquely Yoongi, and makes you feel so much. Yoongi is one of the only artists whos music makes me feel what they feel; and this song is the best representation of that. Everytime i listen to it I have to stop myself from crying and it has nothing to do with the lyrics. I cried before I even knew what the song was about, just because that's how good of a composer and producer he is. Genuinly one of the best songs I've ever heard.

I've never had an interlude make me feel so much. He's perfected the art of making his music invoke the emotions of his listeners and there's nothing more perfect than a minute-and-a-half-long interlude with no words in it that's still able to do that. Incredible.

Snooze is honestly one of the best thing's to have ever graced this planet if i'm being 100% rn. I know I keep talking about the emotion of the music but broooo. And the Woosung feature? His voice is amazing and is already so raw and emotional and paired with this song I just cannot. The lyrics make me want to sob, which I will probably do later when I get off work. And the the reference back to So Far Away? I'm on the floor someone please hug me.

Yoongi's vocals go fucking crazy in Life Goes On. If this was my introduction to Yoongi I would 100% believe that he's a singer and has been his whole life. The pure raw talent of this man will never cease to amaze me.

In conclusion, I love Min Yoongi with my whole chest and I hope he knows how much his music helps people, because it really, really helps. I can never even fully express just how this album alone helps me, that's not even speaking about all his other solo projects and the hundreds of songs he's worked on throughout his career.

If you read all of that I love u and I hope u have a spectacular day.

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pokefanbri · 4 years

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1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

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myvelouri · 5 years

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Omg I have such a thing for the optometrist that works with my mom at the vision source here. She’s so godamn fine it makes me get feelings. She has this skinny lean fit body, tall, gorgeous fucking face. Shit I met her like twice, I looked beautiful a few years ago when I met her the first time…

So she was running late and she came into the office and said sorry Mir! I’ll try to do this fast!! I told her lol no worries, I’m in no rush, I work late tonight

She asked where I work. I said at Ross, I’m a cashier, lol yeah that’s what I’m doing at 30. And she said hey no judgement here. Her hands and arms are so fucking pretty too. She kept talking to me and putting her hand near me like she wants to put it on me but she was holding back. It felt like she was attracted to me but since she’s married she isn’t going to go that far. Um. I told her yeah I turn 30 tomorrow. And she said oh wow dirty thirty. And I’m like lmao yeah. She asked what I’m doing or what plans I have for it. I said nothing lmao. And I said you’re younger than me aren’t you? And she said noo “I’m 33” and I said oh what! So what did you do for your dirty thirty! And she said “lol actually… I think I just went to dinner” I’m like SEE, SAME. LOL. and she said it’s such a big birthday. I said I know.

She then had me run through the eye tests and everytime I had to look directly at her, I got these feelings, it must be lust, except this is a woman I’d totally date and want to be with. Um, yeah I asked her what her ethnicity was. She said her mom is Vietnamese and her dad is totally white. I said you have such a unique face. She does. See? I love half asian/half white women. It’s the best. Anyways. She laughed. So cute. Ugh. And I asked what she does for fun since she said she had two kids and I mentioned like, so what so you do for fun, you know, besides having to be with your kids. Hahaha. She said she likes to do photography. And I said oh nice! And uh, what else, I told her about my music and idk we talked so much. And she was, very engaging. There was a pic of my eyes on screen and I asked what it was, she said it was “just your optic nerve that connects to your brain” and then she laughed and said “I mean not JUST” hahahaha cause obviously that isn’t something so simple, it is quite amazing. I already had a thing for her back in 2015 when I met her. I believe she was flirty then too. But yes there was that pic of my eyes on screen, like a zoomed up pic and it’s green, and she sees my lashes in it and she says “omg look at all those lashes” and she waves her hands all over them. And she said share them. Hahahaha. I’m smiling as I type this, writing about it, thinking about it. I told her her lashes are just as nice! And she said “yea but I have to wear mascara” I’m like, I think your eyes are just as beautiful. Or something.

Maybe I didn’t say beautiful. Might as well have.

I need a haircut rn… I would have looked better… But I looked great enough anyway haha.

And so we went to the back to try on my new contacts. The girl that I met at my work that works here was there, lmao I flirted with her once and she was so shocked, I remember her, nothing serious though.

So back to optometrist bb. She’s so beautiful. At the end of it all she asked me if I had any questions for her. I asked if she had a Snapchat. She said she doesn’t. But she said she has an Instagram. And we sat there looking up each other’s Instagram lmao. We followed each other. I told her yeah my shit is emo but I post myself and yeah lol but that’s just me. And she said she posts her kids. And she had a photography page too, I followed it too. It was good. She’s so hot. Sorry. Lol. Anyway, she asked if I post my music there too! She was excited and I said yeah lil bits, but it’s with solo software so it isn’t as intricate as what I want to do really, with a band and all. And yeah. She’s so sweet. I followed her and it was private and she said I have to approve her, I said lol no, YOU have to approve me. Lmao. And she did.

We talked about music and how she used to be good at piano. She says she can read music but not play by ear. And then she said something like “well when you make it big” I could invite her..haha. she said that out of nowhere. It was like. Honestly, it felt flirty or filled with some kind of attraction. I remember it.

Or she’s just being nice. I don’t know, her body language and the way she nearly touches me, the way she engages with me and asks about me… I think she’s attracted to me.

Her husband looks like a small silly bald white man! How did he ever pull her? He must be nice and wealthy, but lol, she’s a optometrist, she makes bank dude.

I don’t know? I wish she was single.

Oh I said something else about the office she works in..I said oh yeah it must be fun working here… Where everyone is right wing… And she said “ugh yeah but most times I’m in the middle so it’s okay… But it’s the owner who is completely right wing, hardcore conservative” and I said lmao yeah he doesn’t like me. And she said omg really? And I said yeah lmao we would fight… If we kept talking, we would fight. Not physically, but you know.

And then I told her briefly about my horrible date few days ago and how I got kicked out of a club cause they thought I was gonna fight. I said it to illustrate that I don’t fight. Haha. She said “see, you just put yourself out of that position”

Lol maybe I overshared and I definitely dropped an F bomb, maybe I should not have been so unprofessional. But when I’m comfortable with someone, it happens. Especially someone I have a thing for.

I don’t really think I have a thing for anyone else. Its sad. I would love her. But I still don’t want to be with anyone. So it’s… Strange.

There was a lot more that happened but I can’t remember and I'ma go eat.

I wanted to get her snapchat because I’m more happy and day to day life… But she said instagram, so I gave it.. I usually don’t… Because my instagram is kinda emo and a bit too personal…

Damn

Oh right, as she gave me my new contacts and I put them on, she asked what else do I play besides guitar. I said vocals but ever since jaw surgery it’s been hard to sing. She was cute about it. And as soon as I could see after putting on the contacts, I looked right at her and said “there you are” and she said “here I am” …

…

GIRL DO NOT GIVE ME A FUCKING FULL ASS BONER IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS, OMFG.

I didn’t, but my god, the feels.

Oh yeah he said she was from Cali too. She can't go hiking here though

Especially cause of the heat

Omg that right, she said during college she worked at the gap and she loved the 50% discount.. I said omg that's a lot! And I said they were trying so hard to hire me! Idk why! And I said it's closed now and she said yeah they are closing now, maybe trying to focus on online sales. She said her discount went from Gap, to old Navy, and another joint company. It's all the same

I had so much fun talking to her

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