#ray's ramblings

[bookish-bi-mormon]

My Mormonism is colored by my queerness, but so too is my queerness colored by my Mormonism. I cannot be one without the other.

#ray's ramblings #queerstake #religion #mormon

[rayofmisfortune]

GUYS GUYS FRANK GOT BETTER AT TALKING

#sun and moon show #lunar and earth show #ray's ramblings #tsams frank #please give them a name already we can't just keep on calling them frank- #waiting for the day someone on the shows asks for forkie's prefered name now that they're getting better at talking

[samclownchester]

Happy Easter to Sam Winchester who literally died to save the world from Satan and then rose again

#sam winchester #supernatural #ray's ramblings #happy easter #christcoded character of all time

[lies-of-ray]

I think P would sit in the most unnatural positions known to mankind

#lies of p #ray's ramblings

[cfs-yogi]

I've been doing a qi gong routine, mostly in my head with bits of physical movements as I am able, not every day but reasonably often.

Anyways. Today's was nice in that I got a view of fluffy clouds. I also found it hard to stay focused because I had multiple insights as I went.

The second was about boredom, that boredom indicates a need, like thirst or the feeling of needing to use the bathroom, and the need that boredom signals is a need for challenge, to do something that is hard for you or that you could improve at. (I am bouncing off that post about the difference between distracting yourself from boredom, where the boredom comes back full force ones the distraction is removed, and sating the boredom, where the boredom stays away for a bit when you're done.) And I got this really intense flash of anger, because no one told me, I am learning so many things as an adult -- I'm over 40 ffs -- that no one ever told me and it feels like someone should have told me. Boredom means you need enrichment, something equivalent to a toy to chase for cats or frozen pumpkins or a tire swing for zoo animals. It's not something to be driven away with a wide enough range of distractions, it's not a sign it's time to fall as deeply into a video game as possible, it means you are missing a specific kind of "interesting" or "hard" that you need. It is a psychological hunger.

(Another thing I wish I had been told is any useful advice at all about how to get yourself to do things that you don't want to do. Basically all I got as a kid was "well you have to do it whether you like it or not," an attitude that has not served me particularly well in life. Compared to things like "if it's scary, you can get better at facing scary things by facing it" or "sometimes unpleasant things feel better if you think about how it benefits you or makes you a better person to do the thing". Granted I did pick up on "sometimes you can pair a thing you like with the thing you don't like", aka the spoon full of sugar approach.)

The earlier one had to do with happiness. I'd been fairly spiritually inclined as a teen and young adult (well, I still am) and definitely picked up on the idea that happiness doesn't come from having stuff or looking attractive or being popular. But none of that was really a challenge for me anyways, and what I don't think I got explicitly told is that happiness does not come from what you do either. There aren't intrinsically fun things you can do and intrinsically unpleasant things. Anything can feel good with the right mental framing, or at least can make you feel good about yourself for having done it anyways.

I don't know, maybe that seems obvious. But it's breaking my brain right now. I got too much work put on me in high school, and I got overly attached to having time free to do literally anything I felt like in the moment as a result, even though I've known for a long time that having long stretches of just doing whatever I feel like moment to moment does not reliably make me feel good and actually tends to make me feel worse than having work or school, unless it's for a limited period of time during a vacation or holiday.

Which makes sense if there's something about intentional effort that's sort of like, I don't know, protein? An emotional macronutrient, something you need a lot of, that should exist in balance with the macronutrient you get from leisure time. (Which probably has fuckall to do with paid work or doing what you're "supposed to" be doing. And does not necessarily have to be high spoons, like I said I got this insight doing mental qi gong, I wasn't moving and wasn't even concentrating especially hard.)

#Ray's personal journal #ray's ramblings #(tag for finding purposes it's ok to reblog)

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Was possessed by the headcanon gods on the verge of sleep last night so now I'm writing a super long Johnson/Matty fic, I wanted to see how much I could do today and I'm already 5 pages in with the first scenario of like 5+ just getting to the good stuff so if that isn't a good indication that this one is gunna be LONG then I dunno what is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#Ray's Ramblings #david dastmalchian #johnson reprisal

[seaweed-is-cool]

After what was an unexpected 3 year hiatus, I have decided to actually reuse Tumblr again. A lot has happened in that time but now I'm back with a whole new set of fandoms

#ray's ramblings

[rays-sitcom-place]

The fact that Jess's "I'm Both of Their Girlfriends" realization was not immediately followed by her getting into a polycule with Nick and Reagan is a crime

#Ray's ramblings #new girl #jess/nick/reagan

[cierv-o-robot-o]

hyper fixations are so embarrassing for me because I make every part of my life center around the thing I'm fixating on like I would get out of bed and serve myself a bowl of cereal and be like "just like my Best Friend Finn the Human would :)" and it's completely unironical

#Ray Rambles #Adventure Time #like I feel insane

[moonlightequin1]

✨💫 TWST JP "ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL" FULL 3D PERFORMANCE 💫✨

I needed to share this video because it was region locked for this year's April Fools, but we finally got the full performance of the VDC tribe in TWST FES last year....😭🫶

WE WON EVERYONE 🎉🎊

LOOK AT THEM!!! 😭🎉🎉

#twisted wonderland #TWST #twisted wonderland april fools #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmier #kalim al asim #jamil viper #ace trappola #deuce spade #twst jp content #BOOK 5 SPOILERS #Pomefiore Arc #just ray ~ ramblings #just ray ~ posts

[bookish-bi-mormon]

You can take the bitch out of Provo but you can't take Provo out of the bitch 😞

#ray's ramblings #spotify wrapped #this makes me look like the most basic mormon lmao #i do listen to lots of other stuff #david is the only one listed here in my top 5 #but I thought this was funny #queerward #queerstake #tumblrstake

[rayofmisfortune]

*me knocking at the tsams doors*

Hello? I'm here to ask again for a full Eclipse pov episode along with a breakdown with a withness pretty please and thank you :3

Or if not that, please just confirm if Ruin Eclipse's innocent or not so we can stop going in circles and losing our minds over it

Best regards,

Ray

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsam #sams #tsams eclipse #tsams ruin #ray's ramblings

[samclownchester]

Sams first witchy thing was season FIVE episode ONE!! Made some hex bags cause Ruby taught him. Witch!Sam supremacy

#ray's ramblings #sam winchester #5x01 #witch sam #hex bags

[lies-of-ray]

Plan for today:

Get home

Get on desktop

Boot up Lies of P

Figure out how to get good

Get to the cathedral

Die, many times

Get jumpscared by carcasses

Cry

Give up and go listen to records at the hotel

#lies of p #ray's ramblings

[pookapufferfish]

Deciding to do a poll for fun

I just like this things

#poll #rambling ray

[fandomsandflyingstingrays]

“I’d like to leave the Emperor’s Coven,

and never set foot in the throne room again.

I’d like to study wild magic,

and learn how to carve palismen.

I’d like to attend Hexside as a regular student, 

and play flyer derby with my friends.”

#he got it all take that belos you loser #the owl house #toh #toh hunter #the owl house spoilers #toh spoilers #ray rambles