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janusdeceit-sanders · 6 years

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Radioactive (Part 2)

hey stranger. it’s been a while but we got there in the end. I know this took like,,,, 3 weeks??? but hey, it’s double the amount I usually write soo,,, enjoy ur dose of angst

AU: Punk, highschool AU

Pairings: One-sided prinxiety, mentioned logicality, princeit

Warnings: Deceit’s still in this, description of anxiety, vomitting, suicidal thoughts, mentioned underage drinking, suggestive language, just a lot of really dark depression humour

Part 1

:+:+:+:

Logan didn’t leave for too long, however. He came back with Patton half-asleep in his arms moments later. Patton looked absolutely smattered drunk.

Virgil unlocked the door for them and Logan sat Patton down on the backseat and fastened his seat belt for him before he hopped into the drivers’ seat. Virgil looked over his shoulder at Patton who had already collapsed on the backseats, fast asleep. Logan turned the engine on.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Virgil said hurriedly, “what about Roman?”

“Deceit will take him home.” Logan replied simply.

Virgil’s eyes widened. “What?! But- uh- what if Deceit tries something?!” He panicked. He did not trust Deceit.

Logan began driving away from the house despite his friend’s protests. “Virgil,” he said softly, “You have to know something.”

Virgil’s voice cracked. “Wh-what..?”

“...Deceit and Roman have been dating for months.”

And just like that, the world around Virgil was sent into orbit. The information just didn’t register. “What?”

“They’ve been dating for exactly five months now.”

Virgil stared ahead as he tried to process this situation. Then it hit him. All negative emotions known to man began eating him alive from within. He was angry, frustrated, embarrassed, disappointed, anxious, depressed. He felt his face burn and his heart sting. “And nobody told me?!”

“We didn’t find out until recently either,” Logan said calmly, yet there was helplessness in his voice, “Roman had only told Patton last month, and Patton had told me last Tuesday and-”

Virgil didn’t want to believe it. This felt like a nightmare. This was definitely a nightmare. He was going to wake up on Logan’s couch to find out that this had all been a dream and he had fallen fast asleep when they were watching those documentaries late at night. He was going to wake up and find out his friends are coming back from a shit, uneventful party safely and that nothing that just happened was real. But he did not wake up, because it was not a dream.

“They had kept their relationship a secret all this time.” Logan explained, “Patton and I didn’t think it would be benefitial for you to know this information considering your… affection towards Roman.”

Virgil felt like he wasn’t breathing in oxygen. It felt like straight up carbon dioxide was clogging up his lungs. He couldn’t think.

“We didn’t want to lie to you, Virgil,” Logan said, “I’m sorry. We should have told you sooner.”

Virgil’s vision was blurry and his heart was pounding hard in his chest. He was crying. Thick streams of tears rolled down his cheeks and he couldn’t think properly.

“I don’t… understand...” Virgil choked out. How could Roman do that? How was Virgil stupid enough to fall for that idiot?

Logan nodded and reached over to touch his shoulder. “It’s okay, Virgil. I know that you are anxious but just breathe; it will pass.”

Virgil didn’t think so. He was anxious and sweating and crying and breathing and things were shaky. He wanted to die so bad so that he could just get out of this shitty situation.

“I’m so fucking scared, Lo.” he said. He was so upset right now, all he could think about was death and dying.

“Just breathe,” Logan instructed, “the way we’ve practiced.”

Virgil did as he was told.

:+:+:+:

Roman had expected the night to go way better than it did.

First of all, his memory was shit so, don’t quote him on what happened that night but it was something along the lines of this:

Somebody outed him and Deceit. He didn’t know who it had been, but somebody did it anyway, and so when he met up with Deceit at the party, people lost their shit. Roman didn’t know what was going. Everybody was asking him questions and shouting things at them. Then somebody told them to prove that they were really dating - basically they yelled “kiss him!” until he was forced to give in - so they did.

He saw Virgil in the crowd afterwards, and thought he looked really upset, and Roman, being drunk and confused and worried, followed after him. Virgil had said he would stay home that night, so Roman was terribly confused by why the boy decided to show up anyway, and then leave in such a hurry. He asked Logan and Patton about it (Logan was there too for some reason) but they didn’t know much, or at least Roman didn’t remember shit they said.

Deceit soon found him again though and, hand around his waist, guided him back into the crowd to enjoy the night by dancing and drinking (well, Deceit didn’t drink, he was driving home, but Roman was drinking). Basically, Roman got hammered drunk.

As the night began coming to a close, Deceit suggested that they should go back to his place. Roman was all flustered and delighted because he thought they’d actually do... something... you know... but they didn’t. The second they got to Deceit’s house, Deceit sat him down on the couch and told him to stay there while he got him stuff to sleep on for the night. Even though Roman hinted and hinted, he was just really underwhelmed when Deceit told him goodnight and turned off the lights in the living room and left him to sleep on the couch alone. Well, Roman had hoped to lose something that night, but it turns out that all he had lost that night was his dignity.

The next morning greeted Roman with a pounding headache, which he deserved for all his wishful thinking. Roman found that sleeping on the couch had not been that bad considering that he woke up in one of the most uncomfortable positions he had ever woken up in due to tossing and turning, which would’ve really annoyed his boyfriend. He was sweaty and his hair was an absolute bird’s nest and everything was sore. He was thankful that Deceit had at least been considerate enough to leave him painkillers and a glass of water on the coffee table.

So here he was now, chugging some water.

Underneath the glass of water he had found a little yellow post-it note with a message in black marker.

“Didn’t want to wake you up

make yourself at home

I’ll be working all day sorry :(

keys are on the fridge”

Roman smiled to himself.

Then he made the mistake of standing up which was very painful and made his headache ten times worse. He even blacked out a bit but it was cool. He just waited it out, suffering. Once the Devil stopped beating his head with a brick, he went to the bathroom to get himself cleaned up.

He took all of his slept-in makeup off and washed his face and brushed his hair to look somewhat decent. He didn’t have a change of clothes, and his smelled of sweat and beer and just generally felt really gross, so he stole some of Deceit’s clothes. He wouldn’t mind, right? They’re boyfriends.

You know, he probably should have showered instead of putting on Deceit’s clean clothes over his dirty self but, you know, Roman doesn’t have that kind of common sense so he didn’t.

He took one of Deceit’s jackets off a coat hanger and put his shoes on. Then he took the keys and went out.

Roman was going to grab some coffee.

:+:+:+:

Virgil was going to fucking die this morning. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but he really needed coffee. He didn’t sleep all night.

When they got to Logan’s house, he couldn’t sleep. The couch was uncomfortable and the lights outside the windows kept spooking him. Logan came into the room twice during the night to get water.

And then Patton started getting sick. Logan and Virgil had to take turns looking after him as he threw up into the toilet. Patton was really upset and cried after almost every time he threw up. Virgil, naturally, immediately thought Patton might have alcohol poisoning and had a panic attack in the bathroom because that’s just how much of inconvenience he had to be.

And once Patton was okay, even then Virgil couldn’t go to sleep. The second he did start to drift off, the sun began shining in through the gaps between the curtains. He tried to ignore it, and did finally get to sleep a bit, but he woke up less than forty minutes later.

He walked around Logan’s living room and kitchen for what seemed like an hour before he knocked on Logan’s bedroom door. He opened it to find Logan and Patton tangled up in bed, Patton drooling onto the pillow and Logan laying contently and stroking his hair while scrolling through his phone.

“Ah, uhm-” Virgil didn’t expect Logan to be awake so he didn’t prepare anything to say other than ‘I’m going out’, so... “Hey, Logan.”

“Yes?” Logan looked up at Virgil standing awkwardly in his doorway.

“I’m going out to grab a coffee.” Virgil said.

Logan checked his watch. “At six in the morning?” He raised his eyebrow at Virgil.

“Yeah...”

“Okay. That’s fine. Go buy yourself some food too.” Logan turned back to his phone.

A weight lifted off Virgil’s chest, the way a child’s would when they asked their mother if they were allowed to go get an ice cream and she said they could. Logan was basically his mom.

“Okay, bye.” He closed the door behind himself.

He put on a jacket over his hoodie and left.

:+:+:+:

Virgil got to the coffee shop in one piece, somehow. He walked all the way there without throwing himself under a bus, so that was a great start.

However, he did circle the entire street about four times before going in because he got there sooner than he expected and he didn’t have his order rehearsed and then his mind wandered off to the worst scenarios and then he had to rehearse again and yeah, it was a wreck. But hey, he got there in the end.

Usually, he wasn’t this bad about ordering his coffee, but today? One fuck up and he might just go back to that bus station from earlier.

Virgil walked into the coffee shop and prayed that nobody paid attention to the stressed out emo kid in all black that just walked in. He made his order, and it went good which was a relief (why does he constantly have to stress about little thiiiiinnngssss?). He sat at a table in the corner with his drink and tried his best to blend into the wall.

It didn’t work. In fact, the universe must have a wild sense of humour because the person that walked in after he sat down was Roman. Perfect. You know what? This is fantastic.

Roman smiled when he saw him and waved. Shit.

He ordered himself a coffee so confidently, and then idled around the counter, waiting for it, and constantly looking at Virgil and smiling like he didn't just kill Virgil last night. Honestly, you’d have to be hammered to make out with Deceit, so Roman definitely didn’t remember it.

Or maybe he did and he was just taunting him.

Anyway, Roman got his coffee and, did what Virgil feared he would do; walked over and sat down with him.

“Hey, Virgil,” Roman greeted him casually, “How are you?”

‘Dead inside’, he thought, but decided against saying that out loud. It always concerned his friends when he talked like that. “Good.” Virgil looked down into his drink rather than at Roman.

“Were you at the party last night? I thought I saw you there.”

Roman definitely didn’t beat around the bush, did he? Virgil knew this question was coming yet he was still surprised by the directness yet casualness of the question. It was as if Roman wasn’t actually accusing him of anything, it was like he was asking to make sure.

“Yeah, momentarily.” Virgil sipped his coffee and avoided Roman’s eyes by trying to find something interesting to look at to his right. “I left as soon as we got Patton.”

“Oh,” Roman’s face moved but Virgil didn’t quite catch why because when he looked straight at Roman his smile was still there. “Okay.”

Virgil only now noticed that the jacket Roman was wearing wasn’t his, and then he remembered what Logan had told him last night. His heart dropped when he realised what probably happened, but he was still hoping nothing did happen, but he wasn’t going to pry.

Virgil’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Patton’s awake now, just to let you kno.” Logan’s message popped up on his screen, followed by another. “if you’re okay to get Patton something he wants a cupcake”

“Who’s that?” Roman asked. Nosy little shit.

“Just Logan.” Virgil replied curtly.

“bad day. i’ll see what i can do thou”

A loud ding rang from Roman’s pocket. Virgil watched Roman open up the message and his eyes go brighter and God damn it why is he so cute-

Roman turned to his right, to the window next to the cafe’s doors and let out a small excited gasp.

Virgil did not like the view when he looked up.

There was Deceit, standing outside the window, phone in hand, smirking as Roman got up from his seat and basically ran out the door to meet him.

Virgil couldn’t stand that guy. He got up from his seat abruptly and asked for cupcakes at the counter. He took the bagged cupcakes and whipped out his phone as he hurried outside. He said "sorry" when he brushed past Roman and "gotta go" in response to his confused face before shooting Deceit a glare and hurrying away. His coffee was long forgotten by now.

“i changed my mind i’ll be there in a moment”

:+:+:+:

@set-phasers-to-cuddle @astraastro @callboxkat

#princeit #punk sanders #punk sanders sides #sanders sides #roman sanders #ts deceit #deceit sanders #tw deceit #virgil sanders #prinxiety

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angelblumes · 3 years

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food ment. Helllooooooo ugh would you like me to beat her up perhaps end up like her namesake, og mischa?(jk im not a (cannibal)) time to bust out the therapy voice tho , you will find your people and they will love you. Ok. ok wtf is happening? are we like the same person or something? wellbutrin buddies ❤ my room needs to be clean and moved the whole sha bang but I cant😔 life needs to be lived and such. I hope you arrived safely and happily and that everything is slightly better for you than it was last message and that you didn't get too carsick. my power went out today for like 3 seconds everything turned off everything , it usually takes alot for that to happen for my house just because its old and other reasons that I dont actually know. I've had a jam out session yesterday, it was so relaxing 😌 🙌 danced my little heart out to them guys I told you about. There's something abt the murders in hannibal that just does it for me... the artistry of it all. I love it when we talk outside of the 5 daily things too!!! hey, did you get that 'you're so mature for your age' as a kid or 'you've got an old soul' ? whats ur thoughts on that? I personally cant really imagine saying that to a kid maybe its a generational thing? ok 🙄😁 I like commentary ive been watching reactions? on youtube its a guilty pleasure, also I've been getting into some reality tv. Wife swap is crazy I love it alot and then the dating ones because ofc. whats one of the 1st reality show you remember watching and not hating? Honey Boo Boo and I Am Jaz (I think?) were my top two choices of reality. maybe a rewatch is in order for me. ok daily things um a guitar got brought into my house today i... its very.. it made me weirdly happy I love music and its instruments. thank goodness tbh my med were just a little later than usual, the pharmacy gave me emergency 3 days for they can figure out whats up because this is the second time we are having the same problem 😅 I had the best brownie of my life, it was store bought but like from the bakery fav dessert. I got this "new" shirt on so comfy, its tie dyed splattered different blues with an astronaut and nasa logo in white, its cute but also like 3? sizes too big (its a hand me down) dont worry abt the guy if a next time happens ill be ready for it 💪 it will go down, I personally know the man's family I will ruin his life if it comes down to it (we live in a town idk if it's small)or realistically just sic my family onto him. I found out my cousin has a gf now and is apparently very much happier than she was with her ex man (who made awesome cheesecake btw off topic tho) gay people stay winning, I did not know she was not straight tho so happy little surprise 😁 jeez its a lot of words uh I hope you're doing good and you had a good sleep and other nice stuff happen to you and you had a good trip🌷🤟🤙❤

HELPPP u are an angel. thank u❤️. and right exactly. normalize thinking fictional murders are artistic or something . thinkin abt how i used to think criminal minds murders were interesting but never had the right words so i'd just be like "woah he *kills them weirdly*? cool"😭. BUT YEAH i did get that all the time omfg "ur so mature for ur age!!" like thanks it's because i have issues and problems 💀....hmm i hate reality tv HAHA. this gc i'm in was just talking abt wife swap the other day how crazy !! idk if i've EVER liked reality tv .... i like watching commentary abt it (like uhh cody ko's stuff) but watching it myself... nope😭. daily things lets see!!! i went to the baltimore aquarium:) i was exhausted tho. saw that a tiktoker i like (hello fem will graham cosplayers...) went there a few days before me. how funny! i wish we had met and fallen in love or something. i went to bed at 5pm yesterday and slept til 3am. then went back to sleep from 6am to 10am. i think my new adhd/anxiety meds are the cause. sadly. cuz they work! but by making me too tired to be nervous or start thinking too much🥲. i'm tired 24/7 already and thats not helping LOL! i had this fancy meal ok multiple fancy meals and it was really nice. i got chesapeake chicken (haha like chesapeake ripper am i right?!?) and it had crab but i'm crazy i'm crazy i didn't eat the crab. the texture was soooo bad. anyway at another place i got a burger bc i'm lame i don't eat seafood (besides shrimp. which i am allergic to.) and i ate almost the whole thing and my friends mom said she was proud of me😭❤️. i always feel so guilty after eating a lot and that made me feel good. i've started watching more vampire video game play throughs. what can i say. vampire masquerade: bloodlines did something to my brain where i like vampire games now. it's the same guy which is cool. i dont like finding new youtubers becuz i've never kept up w whose problematic or not... like what if i get really into someone and mention it and someone's like oh yeah he preys on women. wtf. like umm cry? is he a youtuber? is he evil? cuz i was looking for a pathologic gameplay and he had one and i was like hmm... he sounds familiar. he has probably done something ? maybe? mm lastly.... i read this hunger games hannibal crossover WEEKS AGO but it's just still on my mind. i don't particularly love the hunger games but it's only bc i don't really know a lot abt it. i enjoy it but i've only seen the movies and read the first book (until rue died. never picked it up again after that! i cried a lottttt) and there's like an absurd amount of hannibal crossovers. i guess bc hannibal would totally rule in the hunger games. like come on a CANNIBAL? the uh.. capitol? they'd go crazyyyy for that. the fic itself wasn't even that groundbreaking or anything i have a lot of criticism for it tbh but it opened my brain to the concept. i have another one opened in a tab but it's super long so i haven't made much headway. i want one where it's like.... the one where the old winners come back for a game! and then they escape😈. but in the one i read will and hannibal sort of just escape anyway in a normal hunger game. like ok cool but i don't think that's plausible. but then how would it work ? like could will win a game on his own? maybe i should write my own fic. but then i'd have to understand what happens in the hunger games /j. ugh ok i was thinking abt that one scene where idk they do the little hand signal thing and drag katniss away and go to shut the door like right as they shoot that guy in the head. THAT WAS SO CRAZY. or when katniss shoots the lady instead of president snow and then everyone just descends on him💀 i feel like there's a level of nuance and understanding that i just don't have so i say "woah! cool :)" i hope ur doing well too ily❤️❤️💗

#a 'guilty' pleasure of mine is watching hunger games amvs LMFAO #asks #5 daily things #long post

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