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the-hilda-librarians-wife · 8 months

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For every action, a reaction - Chapter 1 - Inertia

Pairing: Raven Scientist (Victoria Van Gale/The Raven Leader)

Summary: Taking a step back from our poetry nerds, this instalment focuses on academic research projects, less than legal shenanigans, and most importantly, two coworkers who are smart enough to be geniuses in their respective areas but apparently not enough to confess.

Over the span of two decades.

Seriously.

Somebody has to do something. Before all their students lose their minds.

Updates weekly.

Notes: Hey, you guys! Welcome to another part in the Carpe Diem series. This one diverges a bit from the previous content (as you may have guessed from the lack of latin motto title), but it was still planned alongside the other fics in the verse and was intended to be part of the story all along. I'd strongly reccomend reading the previous instalments in the verse before getting to this, however, in case sketchbook is not your jam, I guess I should just say that this is an University AU and release you into the wild. Hope you have fun, because I sure had a blast writing it!

You hear those cries for help? Yeah, I currently have @waddles-ex-machina locked in my basement. Only gonna let her out if I hear you all guys saying 'thank you, waddles'. Takes a real trooper to proof read this thing, let me tell you. Brb gotta go check if she's doing well inside the lil cage (which is to say, once more, thank you so much, waddles. you're a true angel <3)

Read it on ao3: (Carpe Diem verse) (This chapter)

When Victoria first came to the University of Trolberg, she was full of energy and eager to prove herself. The university had accepted her for their doctorate program, during which she’d also be an assistant professor to the Weather Sciences undergrads, and she couldn’t wait to spread the knowledge she’d acquired (and to get even more in the process).

The project she was working on wasn't exactly revolutionary; she’d get there, eventually, there was still time. But it was something that made her heart beat faster, so she was sure she’d end up doing a better job than all those stuffy professors who walked around like the world had done them a disservice by existing. Victoria was excited by the knowledge and the possibilities, and she was sure that that was the right path.

Before the school year even began, she found herself treading through the campus grounds, holding in her hands a device she’d helped build. Her current research was on the effect aerosols had on the weather, so she’d decided that measuring the concentrations of those particles in the area she’d be studying for the next couple of years would be helpful.

One thing she hadn’t taken into consideration, however, was the fact that for her being focused meant losing any notion of time. And space. And reality. And, well, anything that would be useful to her in an unfamiliar, open field. But that was just life, wasn’t it?

She’d been in the middle of gently hitting her device, since its panel had started showing readings that were most certainly not true, when an all too familiar rumble filled the air. Victoria should have realised this was coming, it was her job, goddamnit, but she’d been too immersed in walking around with her measuring machine and writing its readings down to notice the things that really mattered: the static in the atmosphere, the humidity, the clouds closing in and blocking the sunlight.

The price for her misstep came in the form of heavy drops of cold water. Knowing that rain was only the first step, and that soon lightning would likely follow, Victoria began running away as fast as she could. At some point during her walking, she’d entered a forest that she assumed was where the Biology people did their field work, and among the trees she had remained. If she wanted to survive much longer, though, she would have to change that immediately.

Victoria barely felt the weight of her backpack as she jumped over fallen tree branches and dodged puddles of mud. What was truly bothering her were her clothes; the feeling of wet clothes sticking to her skin drove her insane, making her wonder how wise it was to stop running and take them all off. In the end she decided that risking death by lightning or by pneumonia wasn’t worth it, but spent her entire marathon cursing the water that dripped from her clothes and down her legs, soaking her socks inside her galoches. As soon as she was safe, she promised herself she’d fling them far, far away.

Strands of black hair stuck to her forehead, but she didn’t have the time to stop and tie them back, even if they drove her as insane as her clothes. She needed to get out of there, if lightning began and hit one of the trees near her, she was a dead woman.

Or at least a really angry and hurt one.

When finally the limit of the forest came into sight, Victoria almost laughed in victory; she only didn’t do so because she realised that what came next was an open field, and if any rays decided to fall in the general vicinity, she’d certainly be taken for target. There really was no way to win.

Breathing heavily, she stopped running when she reached the border of the forest. Water and wind clouded her vision and made her eyes sting, and with the part of her brain that hadn’t been overcome by adrenaline and sent into survival mode she thought that it would have been much smarter of her to have turned back the way she came when the rain started, instead of running further into the unknown. But there was no turning back now.

There was a scream in the distance.

With the gale ricocheting all around her, it was a wonder she even heard it, and a miracle she didn’t assume that it was coming from inside her own mind. But another second of attention made her recognize the scream for what it was.

An offer of help.

“Over here!” The voice shouted. “A few more metres! There’s shelter!”

Fuck it. Victoria thought. I’m gonna die anyway, it might as well be in the hands of a stranger in the woods. I hope they make a true crime podcast about me.

So she ran. And when she was close enough that the curtain of falling water didn’t stop her from seeing it, a small cottage showed itself to her with all the grandiosity of an oasis in the desert.

Almost as soon as she was on the porch, a towel was put over her shoulders. She was told to take off her boots and go inside the house, where the person who had shouted after her, a woman with a kind smile and short brown hair made her sit in front of the fire to warm herself.

She was safe. That same woman would later on give her a warm change of clothes and a mug of tea, and tell her she’d only been able to see her because of the light coming from her device, which had not resisted the run through the open field. That would lead them to talk about Victoria’s project, which would in return spark a conversation about the woman’s job, and lead them to the realisation that they worked for the same university now, and would be kind of like coworkers once classes began.

And that was the first time Victoria met Birgitta Bloom.

………

The first time the Earth Sciences department organised a joint lecture and invited both of them to be in it, it had seemed like a happy coincidence. It had still been early on in the semester, but the head of the department had found it best to offer that presentation as soon as possible; conclusions about climate change became more worrying by the second, after all. At that point, they had already become friendly acquaintances, waving and smiling at each other whenever they crossed paths in a corridor and following each other on facebook, however little they both used it.

It was by doing so, in fact, that Victoria had found out that the cottage she’d met Birgitta in was her own, and part of the land she and a couple of other sponsors had bought in order to keep it for conservation. It was a budding project, but a noble one in Victoria’s opinion, and the only thing that surprised her about it was that apparently during her foray she’d left the campus’ grounds without even noticing. She only hoped there hadn’t been any fences she’d jumped over, because otherwise she’d really need to worry about her lack of attention to her surroundings.

Excited about having been invited to take part in something like that, Victoria had found Birgitta in her office and invited her over for coffee at her apartment, so that they could plan their lesson properly.

That was a normal thing that coworkers did on a strictly professional scope, right?

Not having had a car, or any loved ones living in Trolberg when she moved there for her doctorate, Victoria hadn’t seen the point in renting a place in town. Instead, she lived in an apartment complex that was just outside of campus, like most students who were there to continue their education after their masters degree.

They took the ten minute walk there together, shooting ideas for the lecture at each other. She kept worrying she’d run out of things to say, and then the silence between them would be awkward, but it hadn’t been the case. It seemed like the more they talked, the more they had to discuss with each other.

Her apartment wasn’t at all impressive, especially not now that she hadn’t even bothered to finish taking all of her possessions out of their cardboard boxes and into their new designated places. Victoria had figured she’d spend most of her time in the campus, so she had only rented a one bedroom with a living room and a small kitchen. Knowing her working habits, she might as well have rented a bedroom on its own, but Helper needed a bit more space to lounge around.

In the end, it was him who first caught Birgitta’s attention when they arrived. They had been talking about how it would be good to open their lecture giving the audience an update on recent studies and findings and then move on to a discussion, when Victoria opened the front door and they were put face to face with a scruffy orange cat, licking its own side.

“Oh, how adorable!” Birgitta squealed at the first sight of it, making him startle and look up at her. “Is it yours?”

Victoria closed the door behind them and blinked as her coworker crouched down to let her cat sniff her hand.

“Well, it is my house. Would be a little awkward if he wasn’t, really.”

“What’s his name?” The cat already was pressing his head against her hand, earning a gentle caress to his pale fur. Old age was beginning to come for the poor dear.

“Helper.” She stood by her side in the middle of her living room, watching as her cat, who barely ever let anyone other than her come close, purred in delight with Birgitta’s attention.

“Oh, and does he help you with anything?”

“He knocks my stuff over, so there’s that.”

Birgitta’s chuckle was melodic and gentle, which was fortunate. If her laughter was the loud type that sounded like something breaking, Victoria would probably still try to get it out of her, but she wouldn’t enjoy her success as much.

This sound, however? She could hear that for the rest of her life with no complaints. And little did she know at that time, but that was precisely what she would have to do.

…......

Fifteen years later

“You’re distracted today, professor.” The girl said, sipping at her coffee while looking at her with curious eyes. “More than usual, at least. Did anything happen?”

With a weary sigh, Victoria let her spine slide down the back of the bench they were sitting at, making her posture look more like a shrimp’s than that person’s. It was a cold winter morning; Christmas break was only a couple of weeks away, and Victoria was eagerly looking forward to it. Not for Christmas in itself, but to get an escape from the nightmare circus that was her life in that University. She hugged her knee length white coat, which looked almost like a cold weather version of the lab coat she was always in, tighter around herself as if that could protect her from that student’s penetrating stare.

“Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m fine.”

The lift of her brows was enough to tell Victoria that she didn’t believe her for a moment.

“Listen, you don’t have to tell me.” She said, toying with a ring on her finger with one hand and holding her paper cup with the other, fingers stiff due to the cold. “But you’ve seen me vulnerable and you’ve helped. I just want you to know you can trust me to do the same.”

It was hard to not trust her, given all the maturity and strength she’d shown since they met, but surely there were boundaries that had to be respected in a relationship between professor and alumni. It had been a weird day, that. She’d been in the library, looking for a book one of her students had asked her about, and heard some sniffing from a nearby shelf. Somehow, she’d ended up at the cafeteria, trying her best to console someone who was barely more than a teenager, and definitely not Victoria’s problem.

And yet, here they were. They had each other’s phone numbers and now frequently met for coffee around campus. After all, what was Victoria losing with that? Even after all those years at the university, she hadn’t made any true friends, and that student seemed like the sort of person who also didn’t have the easiest of rides connecting to people.

Especially not now that her reputation had been trashed, she supposed.

In the end, she decided that no matter how unprofessional it was, it would do no harm, so why keep avoiding it? She’d already found herself in a spot where she was in love with the same woman for over a decade and the only person she felt comfortable enough to open her heart to was a disgraced English and History student, so it wasn’t like things could possibly get worse at that point. Or at least, she preferred to believe they couldn’t.

“Ugh. You win.” She groaned, as if she hadn’t been dying to talk the subject over with someone. “The person I like is single again. She broke up with her boyfriend - they were only together for a couple of months, really - and before I came to meet you she found me and gave me the news. She was smiling. What the hell does it mean when someone tells you they’re single while smiling?”

Kaisa gave her a level look after checking that there was no coffee left in her cup. “Listen, I am far from being an expert. But my mother made me sit through enough romcoms that I think it’s safe to say she wants you to ask her out.”

“It’s not like that between us.” Victoria rolled her eyes. “It can’t be like that. We basically work together, imagine the mess if we got together and the even bigger mess if we fell apart!”

“Don’t you think that that’s a problem for… future Victoria?” Kaisa answered, hoping that it was the right thing to say. In all honesty, she could see the merit in that logic of Victoria’s. Not risking it was definitely safer, and you sure as hell wouldn’t catch her doing something silly like ‘confessing feelings’ anywhere in the near future. But the girl found that she was much better at helping people when she gave the advice she imagined Tildy would give, instead of her own.

“Well, yeah, but future Victoria would be pissed if I let her take the fall. Besides, I don’t even know if she likes women!”

“Show me a picture.”

Victoria blinked at her. “Pardon?”

“Yeah, show me a picture. I want to know what she looks like.”

Sure, why not, Victoria thought even as she picked up her cellphone in her pocket. It’s not like we’re both professors at the institution where she studies. How badly could this end?

After a brief moment of fumbling with her gloves before she managed to unlock her phone, she opened Birgitta's profile on Instagram, and handed it into Kaisa’s waiting hands.

“I hate this website.” Victoria grumbled, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. “No idea how to use it.”

Without looking up, Kaisa answered. “And yet, you have an account.”

“Yes, well-” She failed to keep herself in check and began bouncing a leg. “It’s the one she’s the most active in currently.”

“Aw, that is cute.” Still scrolling through the profile, Kaisa had been too immersed in looking at the pictures to remember to put any intonation in her sentence, but Victoria appreciated the sentiment even if it was delivered in a monotone. “I’ll give it to you, I hate it as well. Can’t see the point in it.”

“Even for stalking crushes?” Victoria snorted.

“Oh, I don’t think I have to worry about there being any cottagecore lesbians in my future.”

“What the-” She stopped bouncing her leg as she turned to the girl, who was still scrolling. “What the fuck is a cottagecore?”

“It’s this.” Kaisa looked up and met her eyes for long enough to assure herself that the professor could see her pointing at the screen. “This is a cottagecore. She’s gay, by the way.”

Victoria opened her mouth. No sound came out, but a puff of smoke came from it. From the moment she’d met Kaisa, the girl had acted a lot more insecure than what the professor would consider healthy. And yet, here she was, sounding like a judge issuing a verdict.

“But she had a boyfriend.”

“I’m using ‘gay’ as an umbrella term” Kaisa rolled her eyes, like she was the professor talking to an uneducated interlocutor. “And she has a pixie cut. There’s just no other explanation.”

With her elbows resting against her knees and rubbing her temples, the scientist sighed. “Listen, I know that this may be the case for your generation, and if it is, all the power to you guys, but there are some truly nasty people my age with pixie cuts, you know?”

“Well, yeah, but she leads a conservation land trust, so she’s clearly not a Karen. Gay is the only other option.”

Victoria opted against asking who Karen was and why she was bad, and turned to look at Kaisa again. The girl was looking at her with one corner of her mouth lifted up. Either it was an attempt at a compassionate smile, or the girl was restraining herself from laughing at her. Victoria decided that both were equally probable as she was handed her cell phone again.

“Don’t stress about it. I’m sure everything will work out in its due time.”

“You sound like one of those generic gift cards.”

“Isn’t that how comforting people works?”

It was, Victoria supposed. But next time she’d probably rather Kaisa be direct with her and just tell her what she was thinking. There were enough cheesy gift cards in the world, Kaisa didn’t need to pose as one of them. Something told Van Gale that the girl probably felt the same.

“Anyway. Thank you for listening, even if this was stupid. See, this is why I love your generation. I don’t even have to worry about you being a bigot before coming out.”

The look Kaisa gave her made her wonder if she had inadvertently committed a hate crime, or if she had been wrong and Kaisa had been just waiting for the conversation to end to commit a hate crime herself.

“Holy shit.” The student whispered, bringing her hands to her mouth as her eyebrows drew closer. “Van Gale, I know the first thing we need to fix in your life.”

“And that is…?”

“Your abysmal fucking gaydar.”

………

One year later

Edmund felt lost in his life. After having graduated in Biology, there seemed to be so many possible roads ahead of him that there might as well be none. Did he have the patience to go into teaching? The focus to go into research? The drive to go into field work? If anyone knew, it certainly wasn’t him. So he did what anyone whose only certainty was not wanting to move back in with their parents did.

He decided to get another level of education.

I’m his defence, it wasn’t just because he was unsure of what to do next. He had an actual passion for Conservation Ecology, and since one of his favourite professors had noticed it and offered to advise him for his thesis and somehow get him a scholarship if he did a Masters, he really didn’t see a reason not to.

Besides, someone needed to stay in the house to look after his little cousin.

Professor Bloom was, in his opinion, a genius. And a very productive one, at that. You could shoot her whatever question you wanted to about local wildlife and she’d answer without a second’s wait, on top of putting her money where her mouth was and guiding several projects, all of which Edmund had read all about while deciding if getting this degree was a good idea.

His heart almost jumped to his throat when the door to her office opened and the woman herself found him standing in the corridor. He’d had contact with her while graduating, of course; if she hadn’t noticed his interest, he never would have bagged the offer she gave him. But it was one thing to be in projects she led in the university, and another entirely to have private tutorings on the subject she mastered.

He was coming to realise he was maybe a bit of a fanboy.

With a warm smile, professor Bloom opened the door wider and invited him in. There was a desk at the centre of the office, and behind it a glass window. By the desk, there were two chairs that had been angled somewhere between facing each other and facing the table.

“I just want to make it crystal clear I won’t be putting any pressure on you.” The woman began as she took a seat in one of them, leaving him no choice but to do the same. She eyed him with kindness and curiosity, making him feel a little like he was one of the critters she studied. Considering she was one of the best in her field, that probably meant something good for him. “Now, I imagine you have already given some thought about what your thesis will be, or have some options to explore. May we discuss them?”

He had, thank God, been able to bring some material for discussion, and he said as much as he opened his backpack to grab his laptop. It had been hard to settle down on one topic to concentrate his studies on during his Masters, so he had found it best to bring all of his ideas to his first tutoring, so that professor Bloom could tell him which would be the most useful ones. And which ones the university would be able to provide for, as well.

Just as he was opening his word document, however, there was a knock on the door, and the person on the other side didn’t bother waiting for a ‘come in’ to show herself.

“Birgitta, I got it!” Exclaimed a tall, slim woman as she opened the door. Professor Bloom, who had been patiently waiting for Edmund to present her his ideas, immediately turned her attention to the newcomer. “The project got approved- oh, sorry, I didn’t realise this wasn’t a good time.”

He managed to not allow himself to feel guilty for being in a professor’s office for an appointment at the time of the day he had specifically been invited to be there, but it wasn’t by a lot. The woman looked so crestfallen to notice him there that Edmund felt like he had done something wrong.

“Oh, that is wonderful!” Professor Bloom got up and walked closer to the woman holding out both hands to gently hold her arms. “Don’t worry, that’s just one of my students. I’m going to help him right now but maybe later we can meet up. I’d love to hear more.”

“Oh, there’s nothing much to say, really.” There was now an embarrassed blush tinting her cheeks, and she lowered her gaze to the ground. “I just received the news that they want me to carry on with the research and wanted to share it with you. It’s no big deal.”

“It is a big deal. It’s amazing. But I won’t push you about it. Send me a text if you want to share something else, okay?”

“Okay.”

Both of them looked like they had deflated considerably as the door was closed and the professor returned to her former seat next to him. Had that been his presence’s fault? It had seemed like it but at the same time, Edmund was reasonably sure that they had managed to downscale their conversation themselves.

“Sorry, mr. Pearson.” Professor Bloom said, eyes still glued to the door. “That was professor Van Gale. I imagine you’ll have some contact with her now that you’re in Conservation. Where were we?”

Even as they went back to the matter at hand, there was still a wistful haze in Birgitta’s eyes, one that Edmund recognized for what it was.

Oh no.

It was going to be a long couple of years.

.........

Two years later

If a body is at rest or moving at a constant speed in a straight line, it will remain at rest or keep moving in a straight line at constant speed unless it is acted upon by a force. Edmund knew so, because his need for money to sustain himself in college had driven him to work in a professor’s project that involved a lot more physics than he would ever have liked to work with. Technically, he was working in the environmental and zoological parts of Ahlberg’s project, but the admission exam had required him to study some of the cornerstones for the engineering that was also involved in it.

The point was, he now had all those laws and formulas lodged in some corner of his mind, even if they barely had a chance to get out.

This was one of those chances.

It was a climate change panel, because of course it was. Every year they had at least one of those in the university, with attendance being mandatory for some courses and open to all. The annoying thing was - besides the nerve-wrecking statistics and new climate studies, that is - that every time, the same two professors were called. Sometimes there were other guests called to the round table to bring more sides to the discussion, but no matter what, professor Bloom and professor Van Gale were always there. And from older students, he had come to learn that it had been like this for as long as anyone could remember.

And they were always wrecks.

A big part of Edmund thought that the fact that they had sustained feelings for each other for so long was truly adorable. Anyone who had the slightest contact with either would be able to see how much they cared for each other. But there was a time and a place for longing glances and blushing when caught looking at your crush, and a lecture hall filled with university students, with a power point presentation on the climate crisis behind yourself was not it.

When the discussion ended and they were all free to go, Edmund tried to look around for Gerda, who he had come into the lecture with, only to find her staring fixedly at the professors. They were struggling to walk past the door frame, since they seemed to be stuck in an endless loop of ‘after you’. Not bearing to witness that for too long, they both gave each other a look that clearly asked ‘are you also seeing this shit?’, even though they both had lessons with professor Bloom and had, in fact, seen this sort of shit more times than they could count.

When they began their Masters, they used to keep the last page of their notebook to count how many times she’d bring up professor Van Gale, or how many times they’d behold any suspiciously yearning action from her. It used to be fun.

It wasn’t funny anymore.

With a sigh, Edmund put his backpack on his shoulders again, and made way for the exit with his friend in tow.

They would keep at that for eternity, if they were allowed to. Someone would have to be the external force.

#verse: carpe diem #fic: feaar #omg i hadn't noticed the fic name spells out like that KJHSDKJHSDKFJH #this one is like the opposite of an angel greeting. BE afraid. Be very afraid. these lesbians don't know what theyre doing #and they are dangerous #raven scientist #raven scientist ship #my fic #victoria van gale #the raven leader hilda

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lanaevyssmoved · 8 months

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questions for da clown: 5, 11, 13 (hehe gale's poetry? mayhap?), and 37!

5. Do they have any tattoos? if so what are they and do they have any special meaning?

nope!! i am sorry to say hiri has absolutely no tattoos (or piercings!!) she is fresh as a baby. afhiri grew up poor and is still incredibly poor and good quality tattoos are very expensive so i don't see them ever being able to afford that. and by the time they get any money (dating a rich wizard from waterdeep......) i do be thinking gale would be like. no.. you cant have a scribble of a cat on ur arm. i know you like tara but that doesnt seem like a Wise decision my love.................. also i know backalley tattoos surely exist but we're also going to say gale says no immediately that shit not hygienic ur gonna get an Infection smh.............

11. Do they have any addictions?

do silly wizards count? got an issue there.......SDFSKLFS

but no, afhiri isn't addicted to anything, not in a traditional sense. they drink recreationally and with access if possible i could see afhiri being insane when high. afhiri has never been high before. actually i think the world wouldnt be able to handle that, lets not entertain the idea before something terrible happens

i would say, as an unhinged shipper, especially post-game, afhiri could be considered addicted to displays of power. bare with me here. from the second she met gale she was into him because she found him fucking hilarious, but it was when gale performed magical feats in front of that she was completely enamoured. now, afhiri is a bard, she can do magic, but its very simple and absolutely not impressive especially since she only uses non-offensive magic (except vicious mockery and bane hehehehe) but compared to gale? something gale isn't shy to say either? now that shit is something, that shit is gorgeous. and she hasn't EVER seen anything like it before. one could say she worshipped him immediately because how could someone do stuff like that? insane. it's insane! and then of course it turns into a disgusting cycle of , do cooler magic to impress clown , clown is impressed and wants more , repeat, repeat, oh no the wizard is doing something illegal, oh no the tief is really excited, oh no is that completely and utterly forbidden magic that no mortal should touch? ohhhhhh .. oh the clown is DOWN.

is that an addiction? me thinks so. me decides so

13. Do they enjoy poetry?

can't believe someone i trust would use discord conversations to target me in such a way.. TWICE.

hello hi a bard and a wizard who likes to try his hand at poetry walk into a bar

now we're gonna be frank here. no poetry afhiri writes is good. one could not even consider it poetry, it doesn't fit the rules. boy is it full of heart though, can't write her off when she is trying so hard (not to do it right, of course, but to be truthful, open, vulnerable? it's there. it's there) so when they do, eventually, share poetry in camp by the fire, afhiri don't know what the fuck gale is saying, and gale is blink slowly like ???? if he didn't know her as well as he did, he might think he's being pranked. it may seem like they are doomed!! doomed to not be poetry lovers!! you would be wrong, my friend

a couple like they whom devotes wholeheartedly and worships them body and soul...... one can love shitty, or incomprehensible poetry.

gale sees the effort in their poetry and can read between the lines to see the feeling there, he's the type who would pin it on the fridge and look at it wistfully every day .

afhiri actively asks what the fuck it means every time. or asks tara if she's closer by. it can take some time for her to get it, but there's always the OHHHHHHHHH. that's hot babe realisation. afhiri keeps every single poem in her backpack. shes gonna be needing a bigger backpack

37. Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

answered here !!!

#ask #princeofhags #thank u #my friend.. i cherish #oc afhiri #she/they #afhiri/gale

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emerald-amidst-gold · 3 years

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A little exercise (Part 1/?)

(I’m trying out a new process to help me with my writing and to get me out of the block I’m currently in. I find that analyzing preexisting personalities and ones of my own devising help me better understand how characters will interact in my writing. So, I started small and outlined some of Fane’s major relationships. I’m eventually going to go down the whole list from family to Inquisition members, but right now, I just focused on family.)

Relationships:

“Friendships are like roses; you tend to their delicate petals, nurture their roots, and provide them with water, sunshine, and fertile soil to keep them satisfied, all so they may flourish with life and love. But what happens when the rose bush flowers from an innocent bud to a crimson bloom, bringing thorns in its wake? You bleed, you hurt, and you regret ever planting the seeds. So, do I desire a literal garden of people with thorns as sharp as glass? Not at all.”- Fane Lavellan regarding companionship

Clan Lavellan:

“Fane is brash, volatile, and temperamental at the best of times, Spymaster. You do not wish to see him at his worst. Many of our clan and the outlying forests have been met with his ire. Even so, he is not a bad child. None of his actions are vindictive or of ill intentions. Fane is simply misunderstood, like so many others. So, if you must demand more of him, then you must tread lightly. That is my advice to you and your Inquisition.” - an excerpt from a letter from Keeper Deshanna sent to Haven after the explosion at the Conclave regarding Fane’s demeanor

Fane is exceedingly slow to warm up to people, even with those of his own kind. Among Clan Lavellan, Fane was seen as an anomaly; his two toned eyes and stark white hair breeding fear and wariness in his clan members, as well as his unusual physique. What’s more, many of the clan avoided him for fear of triggering his volatile rage which, when at its peak, would render aravels or trees completely obliterated. So, as far as friends go, Fane never had many among his clan; only communicating with his sister, and at times, the Keeper. Fane’s disinterest in cultivating relationships also stems from his desire to keep the evidence of his father’s abuse away from prying eyes and ears. This did not stop him from attempting to bridge the gap between him and his people, however. At a young age, Fane proved to be an adept hunter; stealthy and graceful despite his hulking frame. Sadly, his effectiveness to provide did not win the hearts of his clan, since many of Fane’s methods were unorthodox to the Dalish. When such a simple attempt was ineffective, Fane took one last step to try and wedge himself into belonging; his vallaslin. Despite not believing in any of the elven gods (another pit that distanced him from the Dalish, as Fane is and was not shy to voice his opinions regarding them), Fane opted to have the vallaslin of Sylaise tattooed onto his face at the age of sixteen; only a year after his father’s magical experiments on his body began. Once again, this did not do what Fane had hoped for, since the ritual and implementation of the tattoos barely registered a flinch or grimace from the elf; his mind and body already so scarred and traumatized by the use of magic and physical tools that Fane merely viewed the sacred act as another experiment in which his father’s rules of “No crying, no screaming, no telling anyone” played on repeat within his head. Due to that stoicism, his clansmen simply began to view him as unfeeling and cold, some going so far as to call him a ‘snowy haired demon’. From that point on, Fane severed all association with his clan, and attempts to win favor were replaced with complete indifference. Interactions were kept to scouting missions and group hunts, and such things like gatherings or holidays, Fane spent either alone within the forest or with his sister. It may have been this rift of association that spurred the Keeper into choosing Fane for the mission to spy on the Conclave, or perhaps it was a way to help both Fane and the clan from anymore turmoil. However, when the explosion at the Conclave completely shifts his small world on its axis, Fane is more or less forced to traverse a battlefield in which he is outnumbered in both strength and personalities.

Mhairi Lavellan (Sister):

“First mother, then father..I can’t lose you, too, brother. I have no one else besides you for family.”

“Hmph, don’t be so dramatic, My. Even if something were to happen to me, the clan would still be here for you. The clan’s your family as much as I am.”

“The clan is your family, too, brother. Why do you think they don’t care for you like I do?”

“Because they don’t. I’m a monster, remember? They’re all probably breathing a sigh of relief that I’m leaving.”

“Would you stop that?! You’re one of the people just like any of the others! More than that, you’re my brother! So, don’t talk as if you’re nothing. You are everything to me, Fane. Everything and more.” - a conversation between Mhairi and Fane before he leaves for the Conclave.

Mhairi and Fane’s relationship is much like any siblings; occasional bickering, unconditional love, and patience with each other’s oddities. However, unlike most siblings, whose likeness of personalities tends to breed contempt, Fane and Mhairi are, by all means, anathema to each other. Oil and water. Fire and ice. The sun and moon. All these things describe the two’s odd relationship. Fane, while holding a deep well of his love for his sister, has difficulty showing such platonic feelings, opting for simply watching Mhairi with an attentive eye and merely giving stern guidance to the younger when necessary. Whereas Mhairi is more bubbly and easygoing, wishing to help her brother bridge the gap that he had created with the clan and constantly reasserting to him that he is loved and cherished. Such attempts at reconciliation have only thus far vexed Fane, but the message from his sister is not lost, even if he does not outwardly show it. However, like with the rest of the clan, Fane has kept the actions of their father a secret from Mhairi; the only secret he has ever kept from his sister (besides the information of him being a dragon. Fane himself is unaware of his heritage until after Adamant. Even after he understands this information, he does not tell her until at least around the time of the Exalted Council.). Fane has gone to great lengths to keep the brutal past of his abuse from his sister. Such actions include: hiding his acute sensitivity to magic, which is the hardest since Mhairi is a mage, his night terrors that leave him sweating and hyperventilating in the morning, avoiding any and all physical contact from his sister or others since his body still harbors phantasmal pains from the abuse, and dismissing any questions or concerns from his sister when she zeroes in on his pain. Despite these actions on his part, Fane still gives in to his sister if she is particularly persistent or if she is on the verge of tears. In these moments, Fane will endure the pain on his body for a light hug or give a vague response to a question of concern. In conjunction, Mhairi is always trying to find ways to bring back the person her brother was before the experiments began, much to Fane’s dismay. She will oftentimes gift him with sentimental items such as; flowers (primarily Gladiolus since it is a flower the two have an emotional attachment to), handmade pendants, a history book (knowing that he is secretly curious of outside society), and his favorite foods (mainly chocolates). All attempts are usually met with soft refusal or awkward shuffling on Fane’s part, but internally, the misunderstood elf screams with joy every time such a thing is bestowed upon him by his sister.

Eloris Lavellan (Mother):

“Cerulean eyes like the deep lakes in the forest. Sunlight glistening off of golden strands like wheat. Shimmering, rippling across the surface with gentle strokes. Calm and patient even when I’d yell. Never scolding. Never hating. Her words hang upon my mind like her hand when she would guide my own across the page. ‘A summer breeze. A winter’s gale. All things are natural if you allow them to unveil.’ Her words. Her lesson. ..You were angry?”

“Yes, I was. I can’t even remember why now. But, she told me it was nothing to be ashamed of. She said all emotions were natural just like the wind and trees. I just had to..let them out.”

“Who was she?”

“..My mother, and that is all I’m saying about it.” - a discussion between Fane and Cole about Fane’s mother.

Fane’s memory of the relationship with his mother, Eloris, is one of the few things he cherishes, and is one of many things he does not openly share, even with Mhairi. Before she died of a wasting disease when Fane was fifteen, Eloris guided Fane throughout his earlier years, teaching him how to write in both the common tongue and elven, as well as speak and read. Fane describes her as ‘the gentlest soul upon a fragile landscape’ since never once did she harshly scold him or yell in anger at his prickly demeanor, which Fane had even as a child. Instead, Eloris taught Fane the wrongness of his actions with poetry. After outbursts or moments of frustration, Eloris would sit with Fane under a tree or in a clearing, and simply read to him, recounting tales and lessons through elegant scripture. Such a technique had oddly proved effective, calming Fane and cementing delicate lessons of patience and open mindedness, that to this day, while slightly more difficult for him to keep, still connect him with his deceased mother. These tiny memories of his mother’s poetry were something that helped Fane through much of his father’s abuse. So much so, that Fane himself began writing and collecting different forms of poetry after his father’s disappearance, and throughout his time with the Inquisition. This odd fixation also reflects in Fane’s way of speaking, and sometimes his versed tongue has to be deciphered by someone more familiar with him or those who understand cryptic dialogue. At times, it even causes him frustration. Even so, Fane keeps the memory of his mother with him wherever he goes, and secretly endeavors to keep the promise that he made to her. The promise to protect their family, no matter the cost.

(I’m still working on Fane’s father, so he might be the last one I touch on in the list. Anyways, this is just a little exercise to finally cement Fane’s overall character. All of the dialogue is just stuff I thought up on the fly, so take it with a grain of salt in reference to canon.)

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #oc: fane lavellan #male lavellan #warrior lavellan #lavellan #my ocs #dragonage #dragon age hell #writing #fanfiction #character analysis #just trying to figure out my thoughts #since it tends to derail when i write #maybe i'll start another playthrough with fane to help #hmm #meh #oc: mhairi lavellan #female lavellan

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retvenkos · 3 years

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Congrats on your milestone! May I get a 🔥 from HP golden trio era, Hunger Games and Narnia please? I'm a bi girl, INTP Ravenclaw. Very shy at first, but once I'm comfortable around someone I'm an honest, witty, compassionate and open-minded person, who enjoys reading, baking, shopping and video games. I'm very into spirituality, fantasy, science-fiction and folklore. I'm scared of thunder and can't stand arrogant people, but I love animals and enjoy the little things in life.

HP Golden Trio:

I ship you with Theo Nott!

first of all, we stan soft, shy bois - and theo nott? the sweetest of all the slytherins. he would admire you from afar for a while before approaching, and at first both of you are shy, bumbling little things, but then you get to know each other and he loves you so much???

he admires your honesty (and occasional bluntness) more than anything else - he’s constantly surrounded by people who are hiding things, and it’s nice to have someone who just speaks their mind.

furthermore, theo is used to people who are a little harsh or condescending at times, so if you are ever a little insensitive without meaning it, he totally understands and isn’t hurt by it at all. his emotional intelligence and awareness is goals. (draco’s the sensitive slytherin, despite being such a douche sometimes)

and!!!!! i have said this before but theo nott is an avid reader. i read this fic for him and i fell in love with theo being a reader who leaves messages in the books and sometimes presses flowers into them, and the vibes are perfect. theo would read any and all books you send his way, and he would talk about them with you excitedly.

oh, and you are 100% going to teach theo to bake and he’s going to be terrible at it, at first,,,,, and the interaction will be like, “i’m terrible at this, aren’t i?”

“yeah, you are.” and he chuckles deep in his chest. “but i love you anyway.”

but also, theo is 10/10 that man who will continue to practice just to impress you, and eventually he does get pretty good, and it’s a very sweet moment overall.

theo would also love to go shopping with you - he just loves indulging your interests because he is such a romantic, and seeing you happy and smiling is the only thing that keeps him going some days.

and theo is so considerate! when there are thunderstorms you know the two of you are staying up all night, watching movies or listening to music just loud enough to drown out the storm, and when you fall asleep in his arms, he’s kisses you softly on the forehead... ugh i love this man

Hunger Games:

I ship you with Gale Hawthorne!

gale would love how logical you are - you’re always objective and planning, but your original in your execution, and i think he would admire that a lot. you are smart and enthusiastic and a go getter, and it’s good to see that someone else not only has the drive to get things done, but has the capacity to think about it intelligently.

gale would also love how you’re independent and self-sufficient - there is so much that is out of his control, and so much gale has to constantly worry about, so the fact that you can do a lot of things on your own is important to him and good for his stress levels, lol.

you’re also so imaginative! you and gale will always theorize or talk about the future or what this world could be, if everything was idyllic, and sometimes that escape is exactly what he needs. being grounded is heavy on his heart. let him escape, if only for a minute.

i also love the idea of the two of you being domestic together, even if it is in the worst possible conditions you could ever create. but imagine gale comes home from a long day of work and the two of you cook dinner together, and afterward you take whatever scraps you have and bake some kind of dessert. the two of you relax on the couch and you read to him while he drifts off to sleep, in your arms.

i think that it’s important that you value the little things in life - often, gale can lose focus of the small wins because the big picture is so bleak, but you draw his attention to the small stuff, and you give him soft kisses on the cheek that remind him that things will be okay, eventually. even if all you have right now is very little.

also, intp’s have the tendency to second guess themselves, so if you ever get in one of your moods, gale is right there to remind you how much you consistently do for him. he never takes you for granted, and he’s always willing to remind you that you mean the world to him.

also the fact that you hate rules and gale consistently went beyond the fence is my favorite - no doubt you met in the woods. you know what’s better than one rule breaker? two rule breakers!

Narnia:

I ship you with Susan Pevensie!

okay, first of all, both of you are intellectual queens, and i admire that about you

but also!!!! you two are both gentle and compassionate, and the power the two of you exude when you’re together is truly legendary. other royals could never.

ofc i imagine the two of you in narnia, when susan is a queen, and the two of you get to do a lot of not-so-subtle flirting with the other while at banquets.

i imagine you were friends with edmund first - his sarcasm and your wit combined was too much for cair paravel to handle - and he introduced you to susan. at first you were a little shy, but for some reason or another, susan and you spent the day together and you had a lot of fun.

susan teaches you archery!! it was a bit of a laugh, seeing as it’s a lot harder than it looks, but you had fun, anyway. you ended up reading to her while she practiced her archery. susan loves poetry, but she can’t write any herself.

susan also loves baking with you - she hasn’t baked since she was back in narnia, with her mom - baking reminds her of something nostalgic that pulls at her heart in an almost sad way. but you are there, smiling all the way, and things are okay.

also! in a modern! au, susan would love to play video games with you - she’s pretty decent, seeing as edmund and lucy are constantly playing. and she probably knows a lot of tricks since she’s constantly looking up cheat codes and walkthroughs for edmund (he really wants to beat the levels before lucy. he never wins)

i honestly think the two of you would be great together - neither of you are big on opening up, but the two of you can work through that, together, and your relationship will be all the more strong for it.

take part in my 2.5k celebration

#2.5k celebration!#celebration #lxncelotships

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