#siblings was playing this one) insisted that our top priority should be finding clothes and I was like 'wait are you NAKED?' and they were

[thornshadowwolf]

I don't remember why but I dreamed about looking up the common religions in different regions of Thailand last night

#in addition to like. more regular dreams where someone kidnapped part of our camping/hiking group and I needed to use my knowledge of #dog/wolf behavior to appease a wolf that we needed to pass by to get between two forest clearings and also since my character was a #clean-freak / germaphobe he had the power to have bugs not bother him in the woods and then that all happened twice because ofc we needed to #keep to the story script when it restarted and I had to keep everything on the rails but this time two other wolves also came up and they #all decided I was chill and we left each other alone even while I was de-escalating the kidnapping situation but then the kidnappers started #running away and I was like 'you know what would make them think again? three wolves chasing them' so I got the wolves' attention and #started running and they thought it was some kind of chase game and eventually after a couple times of them catching up with me and thinking #that was it they realized someone ahead of us was also running so THEY were the target and we finally started chasing down the kidnappers #and by this point I was considered part of the pack and also we were in a school gymnasium but right after some sort of fair or assembly so #we had to dodge chairs and tables and stacks of equipment and occasionally children but they mostly kept out of the way #oh and I think after the reset but before the kidnapping there was also a part where one of the other characters (I feel like one of my #siblings was playing this one) insisted that our top priority should be finding clothes and I was like 'wait are you NAKED?' and they were #like 'yeah we all are???' and I was like 'WHAT no I'm fully dressed. my character is wearing a suit and tie! and a hat even!' yeah yeah and #then the kidnappers/bullies came up and one of them was a blond lady with a bolo tie. #btw the reason I'm saying stuff like 'my character'/'was playing a character' is because in this dream it was explicitly characters we were #playing in some sort of game where the focus wasn't roleplay but it had a roleplay-y aspect where the different characters had different #strengths and abilities; such as Betrayal at House on the Hill or Western Legends or Dead of Winter #anyway. IDK why dream-me thought thailand was one of the most religiously diverse places on earth. in real life it's over 90% buddhist. #ThornShadow.said

[leon-scott-kennedy]

Distrail

Chreon, Rated-T

Read on Ao3

For a price, anyone could check into a seedy motel, even three people covered in blood, guts, and grime, no questions asked, especially with the ashes of Raccoon City still cooling 100 miles away. So the horizon still held a faint glow of destruction when Leon and Claire stumbled, barely conscious, through the front door of the Tadpole motel at 2 PM October 1st, using each other as support and Sherry clinging to Leon’s back like a koala if a koala drooled and snored.

Two other motels along the highway turned the odd couple away, rumours already flying about Raccoon City, zombies, and a nuclear cover-up. But at the right price, triple the going rate, Claire managed to convince the manager to let them bunk down, courtesy of Leon’s stressed credit card.

The fact Leon’s credit card worked, or that he even still had his credit card, was a miracle. His wallet hadn’t exactly been a priority, and honestly, they could sleep in a cockroach-infested basement, and Leon would be happy because they were dead on their feet after hiking on foot what Leon estimated to be a good 30 miles of rough terrain to get to the nearest town. The sun barely peeked over the horizon when the sky behind them exploded.

Raccoon City was gone. The people Leon had sworn to defend were gone. Sherry and Claire were all he managed to protect, and he’d be damned if he failed now.

The motel room wasn’t terrible; two double beds, a small tube TV, and a leaky faucet. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t something out of a horrible nightmare. They’d left that behind them.

“I’m glad we don’t have a blacklight,” Claire joked, but her tone fell flat.

Leon nudged the bed farthest from the door suspiciously with his boot, dragged back the yellow duvet, and inspected the mattress before he lay Sherry down and tucked her in. He even let Claire shower first, insisted, while he watched Sherry sleep, tossing and turning and whimpering from reliving the horrors in her dreams until Claire emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp, and crawled into bed beside Sherry.

By the time Leon scrubbed his skin raw, the water was cold, and Claire had passed out cold with Sherry cuddled up beside her, little hand tangled in the front of Claire’s dirty tank top like a lifeline. Leon passed out face first on the other bed. He couldn’t even muster the energy to get under the covers.

Movement woke Leon. He jolted awake, reaching for his gun on the bedside table, only to find Claire, fully dressed, perched on the end of his bed and tugging one of her boots. She smiled sadly at the gun levelled at her head.

Leon lowered Matilda, gasping for air. His arm fell limply to his side. “Claire?”

“Hey.” Claire pulled on her second boot. “Sorry.”

Leon blinked at the sleep crusting his eyes. “What... what are you doing?”

Claire sighed and set her foot back down solidly on the ground, hands grasping her thighs. “I need to find Chris. I need... I need to know he’s okay.”

“Now?” Leon glanced at the clock. The bright red numbers read 7:46. The setting sun outside glowed faintly behind the curtains.

“If you ever need me...”

“Forget me. What about Sherry?” Leon snapped, somewhat mollified when Claire winced.

“I know you’ll take good care of her.” Claire’s attention briefly snapped to the sleeping 12-year-old that had survived literal hell. “Leon... if I didn’t have to.”

“Yeah. Yeah, whatever,” Leon scoffed, then rolled over. His heart thundered in his chest. He heard Claire briefly wake up Sherry to say goodbye, promising they’d be in touch, that if Sherry ever needed her, all she needed to do was call.

The door creaked open. Leon clenched his eyes shut, willing down the panic swelling in his chest until it ached. This was it. He was all Sherry had left. They were on their own.

“Take care of our girl for me.” Claire’s voice was barely a whisper.

Leon’s hands trembled, buried in the sheets and pillows, he struggled to suck down air, and his hearing fuzzed. Claire was gone.

For hours, Leon faded in and out of consciousness, barely able to keep the crush of dread at bay. Finally, at some point around 3 AM, he gave up all pretense to sleep and kept a vigilant guard. He jumped at a car alarm, tensed at the slam of a door, and clenched Matilda tightly when soft footfalls passed their door. Eventually, Sherry climbed into his bed to watch early morning cartoons with him.

“Is Claire going to be okay?” Sherry asked softly. She hugged Leon’s arm, cuddling into his side like he used to with his grandma.

“Yeah. Don’t worry about her,” Leon said. He slumped to the side, gently resting his head on top of Sherry’s. “She’ll be fine, kiddo.”

When the sun rose, Leon and Sherry trekked down to the front office to extend their stay another night, then hiked into town searching for clothes and sustenance. Being out in public, surrounded by people, set both Leon and Sherry on edge. They jumped at the slightest sound, and Sherry refused to release Leon’s hand for anything less than going to the bathroom, and even then, he had to stand guard outside the stall. Thank god he had pissed before they left the motel because Sherry was clinging to the back of his jacket while he tried seemed ridiculous.

Their shopping trip was quick. They grabbed what they could, Sherry setting a brisk pace through the little thrift store they found, dragging Leon from rack to rack. They scrounged up a few changes of clothes, socks, underwear, which Leon was a little uncertain of, a jacket that fits over his side holster since he had a license to carry, and a backpack that they filled with snacks and a deck of cards from a little corner store. It turns out Leon’s palette was similar to a twelve-year-old.

The tenuous credit limit finally crapped out on Leon when he tried to buy a six-pack at a shady liquor store on the way back to the motel.

“No job. No money. Just great,” Leon sighed.

For the rest of the day, they holed up in their room munching on junk food, watching terrible daytime TV, and playing Go Fish until Leon made the brilliant decision to teach Sherry how to play poker, and she fleeced him for all the Cheetos.

Leon had no plan beyond survive, and he hadn’t even planned for that. His body ached from being tossed by mutated monsters and shot. His wrapped shoulder twinged.

“Shit,” Leon cursed and clutched his wound. They needed help. He needed help. Taking care of a kid without any resources would be impossible; never mind, he’d never taken care of a person in his life. He had no siblings, no parents. His grandma died when he was nine.

Leon smiled at Sherry in reassurance when she questioned him. This little girl couldn’t be another statistic of the system. He could fix that. He would fix that.

Covered in orange Cheeto dust, Sherry crashed around 8 in the evening. The glow of the sun behind the curtain reminded Leon of the mushroom cloud that had enveloped the sky 36 hours ago. Leon’s stomach twisted in knots. Every creak, every thump, every squeaky break, Leon tensed, waiting for something to crash through the door and disrupt the precarious peace.

Leon hunkered down on his bed, the one closest to the door and any potential threat that came for them, and prepared for another sleepless night on edge.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Around one in the morning, his eyes beginning to droop, Leon nearly fell off the bed in his mad scramble for his gun when someone knocked heavily on the door. Checking his clip, Leon cautiously crept to the door, motioning for now very awake Sherry to stay out of sight.

“Who is it,” Leon called.

“Hi. Look, I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Chris Redfield. I’m looking for my sister Claire.”

Leon blinked and glanced back at Sherry, whose head had popped out of the blanket at the sound of Claire’s name. Then, double-checking he had bolted the chain, Leon opened the door a crack to peek out.

A man a little taller than Leon stood under the flickering light outside the door, his hair cut short and a 5 o’clock shadow. Chris Redfield, decorated member of the Racoon City Stars Division. Leon recognized him from the old photo Claire had shown him, but also the records he’d run across during his frantic hunt through the Police Department.

“Chris?” Leon said, astonished it was actually him. He slammed the door, unbolted the chain, and flung the door open again. “What the- Claire’s looking for you. What are you doing here?”

Chris, who eyed the gun uncertainly, brightened at the mention of his sister. “Is she here? The manager at the front recognized her. Said she was here with some guy and a kid.” Chris glanced past Leon into the room to Sherry curled up in the other bed peering out with curious fear from under the blankets.

Leon shook his head, eyes scanning the parking lot. “She’s not here. She left this morning to find you.”

“Fuck.” Chris winced and glanced at Sherry again. “Shit, sorry.”

Sherry giggled into her hands, and Leon rolled his eyes. “I think she’s dealt with worse.” Like the apocalypse.

“But she’s okay. She’s alive?” Chris asked.

“Who? Claire? Yeah. Yeah, she’s fine. Saved my ass more than a few times.” Leon smiled wistfully and then frowned. So Claire had left, and now, here, her brother was trying to track her down. It must be nice to have someone that gave a damn about you.

“Oh, thank god.” Then, finally, all the tension and stiffness in Chris’ posture melted. “I got her message, and...”

Leon scanned the dark parking lot again for any sign of life, then gestured into the motel room. “You should come in.”

“No.” Chris waved off the invitation. “No, I need to find her.” But the fatigue in his voice threatened to topple him, and that would definitely fell Leon if he tried to catch him.

“Dude, you’re dead on your feet,” Leon said. “It’s the middle of the night. Crash for a few hours.”

“Yeah!” Sherry chimed in, bouncing on her bed. “Stay!”

Chris shook his head. “I can’t.”

Leon pursed his lips. “Look, I don’t know you, man. But I do know that if you pass out behind the wheel and wrap yourself around a pole, you’re pretty damn useless to her.”

Chris opened his mouth to argue, and Leon sighed, tilting his head to the side, ready to give up when Chris snapped his mouth closed and cleared his throat. He studied Leon closely, scrutinizing him like he would a suspect, but Chris must have been satisfied with what he found - weakness, terror, immaturity - because he finally said, “just a few hours.” And the anxiety squeezing the life out of Leon eased, just a tiny bit. Enough that he could breathe.

Chris excused himself to run and grab his go-bag, and Leon cursed his stupidity because nothing was stopping Chris from running. That tightness immediately returned, but a few minutes later, another sharp knock sounded at the door.

Leon smiled tiredly and welcomed Chris into the room, relieved to have the company, someone who knew what they were doing; an adult. Leon grew up fast, but he’d never been an adult in his life. Racoon City was supposed to be a fresh start, and now, he was back to square one. Not even. He was in the basement of square one—the root cellar.

Leon finally caught a good look at Sherry with the lights on, still covered in orange dust, her fingers and cheeks stained. “Jesus. Did you eat the Cheetos or roll in them?”

Sherry laughed. “Leon taught me to play poker, and then I won all the cheezies,” she said to Chris, who grinned.

“Nice job.” Chris offered her a high-five, which she eagerly accepted. The hero worship was already forming.

“He gets a little wrinkle right here when he lies,” Sherry said, pointing a small finger between her eyebrows.

“Okay,” Leon said, scooping Sherry off the bed and carrying her off under one arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up and back in bed, munchkin.”

Cheeto dust proved a formidable adversary, but they managed. When they walked back into the room, Chris was standing exactly where they had left him, his bag still slung over his shoulder and his boots laced.

Getting Sherry tucked back into bed became a struggle now that the brand new company hyped her up; no hesitation whatsoever. She liked Chris. She even made Chris put her to bed, Leon faking offence at being disregarded for the new guy, but there was something about seeing a six-foot boulder of a man coax a tiny twelve-year-old back to sleep that made Leon’s chest ache. Especially when Chris told the story of how Claire was convinced that if she left fake teeth under her pillow, she could trick the tooth fairy into giving her more money. It never worked. The tooth fairy left chocolate coins instead. Fake money for a fake tooth.

Leon watched perched on the edge of the other bed, a little envious of Chris’ skill with kids. He double-checked the safety on his handgun, then the clip. Chris eyed Leon as he set his weapon back down on the bedside table, and Leon couldn’t muster the energy to be self-conscious about his paranoia.

Chris may be Claire’s sister and a fellow survivor of Raccoon City, but Leon didn’t actually know him. For all he knew, he was a traitor like Irons or Wesker. Maybe he wasn’t the man Claire believed him to be. What the hell had he been thinking? Inviting a stranger to stay with them?

With Sherry asleep again, Leon and Chris were left to settle in for the remainder of the night. For Chris, that meant shedding his bulky jacket and combat boots.

“It’s Leon, right?” Chris said. He stood awkwardly beside the bed, watching Leon click off the light and climb under the blankets, tucking himself up against the edge of the mattress as close as he possibly could without toppling off. “Claire mentioned you in one of her messages.”

Leon almost facepalmed. He hadn’t introduced himself. He really was doing everything backwards. “Yeah. That’s me. Leon S. Kennedy.” He curled up into a small ball.

“Jesus Christ.” Chris swiped his palm across his mouth. “You’re the new rookie.”

Leon chuckled humourlessly, his hands tightening into fists around the sheets pulled up to his neck. “Was a hell of a first day.”

Chris picked up real quick that Leon didn’t want to talk about it. So instead, he climbed into his side of the bed, the one closest to the door. The mattress dipped under his weight, and Leon tensed. Where else would Chris have slept? The floor? The last person Leon shared a bed with was his ex, who had seemingly saved his life. If she hadn’t broken up with him, if he hadn’t gotten drunk, if he hadn’t slept in hungover as hell, he would have arrived right in the middle of the initial panic, and who knows if he would have survived that. No one else in the department had.

What would it have been like? The screams, the moans, the pleas for help- the sounds still played on repeat in Leon’s head. Lieutenant Marvin Branagh, mouth agape, stumbling towards him with his hands out. Leon had put two bullets between his eyes.

The first indications of a panic attack slammed into Leon. Abruptly, his throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, his vision slid out of focus, and his chest compressed. Like someone reached into his chest and squeezed his heart in a vice. His entire body shook.

Suddenly, a warm voice murmured in his ear, the soothing tone talking him down, calming him. Leon wasn’t alone. He wasn’t trapped in the police station battling endless waves of the undead, the people of Raccoon City he’d taken an oath to serve and protect.

“Leon, kid, you need to breathe,” Chris said. His presence was a solid wall behind Leon. “I’m going to touch you, okay?”

Leon focused on Chris’ voice. His vision began to swim back into focus, his hearing rushed back in a sudden wall of familiar night noises like the drip of the faucet in the bathroom or the lonely car that passed on the highway. He nodded, not fully understanding what Chris was saying. An arm slid around his waist and pulled him back into a firm chest. Leon flailed, seconds from panic again when Chris’ voice rumbled in his ear.

“You’re going to be okay. I got you.”

Leon grasped Chris’ arm, his grip probably tight enough to leave bruises, and he choked on a shuddering sob.

“It’s okay, Leon. You’re going to be okay.”

Gasping for air, Leon rolled over and buried his face in Chris’ chest, and Chris let him. Leon’s sobs were muffled in Chris’ arms, not wanting to disturb Sherry in the next bed. He felt every subtle muscle flex when Chris tightened his grip or shifted them into a more comfortable position. That’s how Leon passed out, wrapped in the reassuring embrace of a complete stranger, one who understood the hell he’d lived through and the fear and uncertainty he felt in his soul.

Morning came quickly. Leon woke up still curled into Chris’ chest with a death grip on the other man’s faded t-shirt. Chris’ nose was buried in Leon’s hair, each soft snore ruffling his hair, but his embrace hadn’t lessened overnight.

The warmth of embarrassment burning, Leon snuck out of bed, anxiously loosening Chris’ hold and dashing for the safety and solitude of the bathroom, horrified at his complete lack of control the night before. No one had held him like that before, at least not since he was a child and his grandma would sit up with him after a nightmare. But, sadly, this was another type of nightmare, a waking one.

When Leon finally mustered the courage to wander back into the room, Chris was up, sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees.

“You okay?” Chris asked the same time Leon burst out, “I’m sorry!”

Chris sighed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. When I showed up on your doorstep last night, I saw right away that you were barely holding it together.”

Leon’s fists clenched at his side. He couldn’t meet Chris’ gentle gaze.

Chris crossed the room in two enormous strides and considerately grasped Leon by the shoulders. “It was the shock finally hitting you. It happened to me too, but I was alone,” Chris admitted. “Hey. Hey, come on. Look at me.”

Leon bit his lower lip, but he slowly looked up, eyes stinging. “I don’t know what to do.”

Telegraphing his movements, Chris gently pulled Leon into a tight hug. “You’re not alone. We’re going to do this together. I want to take Umbrella down, but first, I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Leon jerked back so fast Chris stumbled. “I want to help. I want to make those sons of bitches pay.”

Chris smiled. “Good. But first, I have a safe house.”

Together, they set the plans. Leon and Sherry would meet Chris in two days, hopefully with Claire in tow, at Chris’ new safehouse three states over. Sherry and Leon could catch a bus a couple miles down the highway to get them most of the way. The trick would be getting up the mountain to the cabin. But they were in this together. Hope simmered once again.

Armed with a freshly drawn map on motel stationery, Leon watched Chris pack. Umbrella wouldn’t know what hit them.

“Here. Take it.”Chris handed Leon two rumpled twenties, a five, and a few ones he dug out of his wallet. “It’s all the cash I have on me, but it should be enough to get you there. I’ll drop you off-”

“No.” Leon took the cash, but waved off Chris’ offer to give him and Sherry a lift to the bus station. “It’s in the opposite direction. We’ll be fine.”

“Two days,” Chris promised. Sherry had climbed out of bed and now clung to Chris’ arm as if he couldn’t leave as long as she was attached. He ruffled her hair. “With or without Claire, I’ll be there and we’ll go from there.” Chris grabbed Leon by the back of the neck and dragged him into a gruff hug, their foreheads lightly pressed together. “It’s gonna be okay, kid.”

And Leon believed him. That is, until two hours later when an unmarked vehicle pulled up on Leon and Sherry hiking down the side of the road, hand in hand. They never made it to the rendezvous.

#chreon #leon s kennedy #chris redfield #claire redfield #sherry birkin #re2make #re fanfic #leon kennedy #kennfield

[anubislover]

Welcome to the Heart Pirates, Nami-ya chapter 19: Lying Hearts

“How can anyone stand to live in a city like this?” Nami grumbled as the light glinted off of yet another painfully white building. True, the setting sun had lessened the glare slightly, but after an entire afternoon of it, she was developing quite the headache, even with the sunglasses.

Law shrugged and continued walking at a leisurely pace, still unaffected. “I’m sure if you’re born somewhere like this it’s easier, but people can learn to tolerate almost anything given enough time, I suppose.”

“Do you think you’d be able to learn to tolerate bread?”

“I said almost. I’d sooner die of starvation.”

She shook her head with a chuckle but kept pace, following his lead. Instead of heading straight back to the submarine, Law had insisted on a few detours through Atifakuto—partially in case anyone had grown suspicious and decided to follow them, but also to scope out potential escape routes under the guise of sightseeing. Nami, for her part, had been exceedingly helpful in this, mapping out in her head which stairways lead where and pointing out various places to hide. If Law found her compliance suspicious, he didn’t say anything; it was in their best interest to work together, especially with some potentially valuable goods on the line, so her behavior was easily rationalized.

For her, however, there was more than artifacts or even belli at stake. This heist had to go well. She needed Law to trust her enough to open up about why he was so obsessed with Amber Lead. Perhaps if he could do that, she wouldn’t even have to sneak into his quarters to take a look at the ledgers. She could just ask and he’d let her in like a rational human being.

Of course, in order for either of their plans to succeed they needed to know where the vase was. Luckily, the rest of the Hearts hadn’t been sitting idle on the submarine. They’d been investigating every possible gallery, art collector, museum, and auction house their prize could possibly be at. The second they had a lead, they’d call on the mini Den Den Mushi.

Until then, though, Law and Nami were forced to meander about the city, planning and killing time.

“So, while we wait for some intel, what else are you going to buy me?” she asked as they wandered the fourth level. They’d passed quite a few shops, and while most had stocked dull business suits similar to the last store, Nami felt her bags were tragically light. They were in a beautiful-if-blinding city, and she was walking away with only one outfit? What a travesty.

Snorting dismissively, Law glanced down at her with a clear look of are you kidding me? on his face. “Nothing. I told you I was only getting you one outfit. I’m your captain, not your sugar daddy.”

“You know, for a man who wants this little job to go well, you’re not putting in nearly the effort you should,” she quipped, a sly smile on her lips, eyelashes fluttering prettily. “I’m supposed to look professional and put together if I’m gonna pull off being your lovely assistant. That means I need matching shoes and accessories. Maybe a cute leather purse or briefcase to really sell it.”

“If you want those so badly then buy them yourself. Or,” he smirked, halting his pace to turn around and catch her chin between his fingers, tilting her head up towards him as he stepped in close enough so she could feel his body heat, “you earn them by doing certain favors for daddy.”

Her cheeks only pinkened a little at his innuendos while she stuck out her tongue and shoved him away. Last night’s dream wasn’t quite as close to the forefront of her mind anymore, but that didn’t mean his smirk didn’t do things to her she’d rather ignore. “Pass. You should know by now that it takes more than clothes for me to play nice.”

“Mmm, I do. That’s what makes it so much fun,” he purred, gold eyes glinting in wicked amusement. One gloved hand was shoved into his pocket while his free arm slung itself casually over her shoulder as he continued stalking along the fastidiously clean road. “But since you’re currently insisting on being a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man to provide for her, you can instead borrow some shoes from Ikkaku, and she might still have a pair of glasses or something from the time she pretended to be a receptionist at a Naval base.”

Brown eyes widened at his statement. Not because he was suggesting that she borrow clothes or anything, but the bombshell he’d just casually dropped in light of her recent discovery.

“Was this for one of your plans?” she asked, shoulders stiffening.

He shrugged like it was no big deal, though he did give her a curious glance at the way she tensed beneath him. “Yeah. We needed someone on the inside, and they’d put out an advertisement for an attractive female in her early twenties. It’s not like Uni or Penguin could do it.”

“But…holy shit, Law, are you serious?” she hissed, dragging him over to an unoccupied part of the street behind a solitary gated tree so she could scold him in private. There weren’t too many people about, but the last thing they need was to get unwanted attention because they’d caused a scene, even if Law totally deserved to get chewed out at the top of her lungs for being such an asshole. “Ikkaku has Marine brothers who want her dead and you sent her into the lion’s den? What the fuck?!”

Caught off-guard by her anger, Law’s eyebrows shot up briefly before furrowing. “She told you about them?”

Damn. In her shock and anger on her friend’s behalf, she’d forgotten that this was a subject she wasn’t technically supposed to know. But instead of admitting guilt, she doubled down and threw on her best poker face.

“Yeah. She told me,” she lied easily. Too easily. It came as naturally as it had back in the days she’d been working under Arlong, getting close to pirates by lying through her teeth and then robbing them blind. How many crews and captains had she deceived before Luffy? Nami had honestly lost count, but once she’d joined up with the Straw Hats, lying to a supposed ally hadn’t been quite as instinctual.

But this isn’t Luffy, and Law’s keeping way more secrets than I am, she rationalized. It’s just a little white lie anyway. He’d be way more pissed at Shachi and Penguin for telling me. I’m looking after those guys.

Law’s expression hardened, and for a moment she wondered if he’d seen through her bluff. She didn’t think she’d gotten too rusty in the lying department, but Law was smart and distrusting in general, so she couldn’t quite tell. Trepidation hung heavy in the air as she waited for him to speak, mind going a mile a minute coming up with new lies and explanations to appease him. Worse came to worst, she could throw the guys under the bus, even if she didn’t really want to, but they were his best friends, so Law would doubtlessly be more forgiving towards them, right?

Thankfully, it seemed his anger came from a completely different place, as he snarled quietly through clenched teeth, “Nami-ya, I am, as you have pointed out rather frequently in the past, a control freak. Do you really think I would devise a plan that required sending my top mechanic into a Marine base if there was even a chance she could be recognized? Especially by her utter shit of a brother?”

She flinched at the vitriol in his voice. It seemed she’d touched a nerve, and unless she wanted to lose all the progress she’d worked for, she knew it was best to back down. “Sorry. You’re right.”

“I’ll accept your apology if you tell me what prompted her to tell you,” he stated, crossing his arms. “It’s not information she makes widely known, even to those who are permanent members of my crew.”

Well. At least this was easy enough to justify, and she’d be doing both Law and Ikkaku a favor, right? Sure, the guys would obviously tell him later, but being the first to warn him might earn her a few more crumbs of trust. “There was an article in the paper about Marine reinforcements coming to the Grand Line. Ushi was interviewed. He seemed pretty intent on taking down the Heart Pirates.”

Law froze, his frown deepening into a dark sneer. The tic in his jaw and the way his fists clenched reminded her of his reaction to Ikkaku having been attacked on Grimm. “That fucker will stay away from Ikkaku if he’s got any brains in him.”

“You’re pretty protective of her,” she said. Sure, he’d perhaps phrased his defense in a way that implied his priority was the plan, it was clear from the hiss in his voice that Ikkaku’s safety had been genuinely considered.

The brim of his hat hid his eyes as he stated, “I’m protective of all my crew. She’s just…it’s hard to find submarine engineers, let alone ones as skilled as her. Ikkaku’s hard to replace.”

Well that stinks to high heaven of bullshit, she thought. Sure, the Surgeon of Death had a rightly-earned cruel reputation, but he’d shown time and again his crew meant a lot to him. Stepping in close, she used her finger to lift his hat enough to see his expression unobstructed. “Is that why you let her sass you? Because if she walked you’d be dead in the water?”

The gold orbs glared down at her, though the held no heat. “Everyone on the crew is a vital component. Like gears in a well-oiled machine. You’ve gotta take care of them to make sure they don’t break.”

When Nami merely raised a disbelieving eyebrow, he sighed, body deflating slightly. “Look, Nami-ya, everyone on my crew, we’ve all got shit in our pasts. Some have overcome it. Some still carry the scars. Ikkaku…hers is one of the few that’s actively still trying to get her. So yeah, maybe I’m a bit more protective, but it’s for a damn good reason.”

Ok, now that was a fair point. “I’m surprised you haven’t just killed him.”

“Oh, I want to,” he snarled. “No brother should try to hurt their siblings. They���re supposed to look after them. The only reason Ushi-ya still draws breath is because Ikkaku begged me to spare his pathetic life.”

It suddenly dawned on Nami that, despite his criticizing Luffy for not being more bloodthirsty, Law was…surprisingly merciful in his own ways, too. He didn’t murder Ikkaku’s brother, despite having clear reason to, just because she asked. He rescued Jean Bart from a life of slavery despite not knowing him. And while she didn’t fully understand the Ope Ope no Mi’s powers, she wondered if his cuts didn’t draw blood because he didn’t want them to?

She wasn’t sure if he had a complexity addiction or if he genuinely wanted to minimize bloodshed, but once again another side of the incredibly fascinating man had been revealed.

Taking a deep breath to calm his anger, he gave Nami a sadistic smile. “Doesn’t mean I let him off the hook with a sternly-worded warning, though. Wanna know what I did to him the last time we met?”

Nami turned a bit green as she remembered Jinzo’s still-beating heart in his hands. Complex and caring towards his crew or not, he was still a twisted bastard. “Fuck no!”

Briefly he pouted at not getting to regale her with the gory details before shrugging. “Pity. It was quite the eventful evening. In fact, it was also the night of mine and Drake-ya’s first kiss.”

“How the hell are those two things connected?!”

“Well, I had to distract him somehow. He was guarding my poor mechanic like a dragon would a virtuous princess.”

Before she could demand more details, or even snort at the idea of Ikkaku being virtuous, the sound of the mini Den Den Mushi reached their ears, interrupting the conversation.

Looking around to make sure there weren’t any eavesdroppers, Law pulled out the little snail phone and clicked down on the top. “Guessing you’ve got something for me?”

“I do,” the snail answered, and Nami recognized the faint accent that indicated they were speaking to Cousteau. “Only one place that specializes in North Blue history. Jubilee & Atlas Antiques. It’s an auction house and gallery on the fifth level, a block away from the Elevate Deliverer Restoration Church.”

“Well that’s a needlessly long name,” he quipped, rolling his eyes. Mentally, Nami had to agree, though it also sounded vaguely familiar. “At least that makes it easier to find. Anything else I should know? Other landmarks, nearby guard stations, that sort of thing?”

There was a moment of hesitation before Cousteau replied, “No station, though there would probably be at least a few guards wandering around at night. It’s, uh, right by a fountain. Blessings from the White City.”

Nami’s eyes widened a little. Oh. Now she remembered. That had been the church with the huge stained-glass windows. The one in her book, by the tribute to Flevance.

“…I see.”

The little snail chewed its lip, clearly concerned. “Captain, if you want, I can do all the surveillance—”

“It’s fine,” he cut in, tone sharp before smoothing out, “I saw it earlier. In fact, I’m glad it’s so close. Nami-ya and I will check out the gallery. We’re nearby and I’d rather see it with my own eyes to get the lay of the land. Unless anyone else has a better lead, you and the others can head back to the ship.”

“Understood, sir. Anything else you need?” he asked, sounding relieved.

“Just tell Clione I might have a job for him later on, so don’t make any evening plans.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

The call ended, and Nami peered up at Law, expecting signs of the same darkness that had crossed his face when they’d visited the fountain earlier. Instead, his face was totally blank, staring down at the tiny snail, expressionless.

Somehow, that was far, far more unnerving.

“Law?” she asked, touching his arm hesitantly.

As if awoken from a trance he shook his head before smirking down at her. “Well, hope you don’t mind one last detour before heading back to the ship? I know it’s more stairs but look on the bright side; at this rate, the definition of your calf muscles will be a thing of beauty.”

He didn’t wait for her to respond, turning on his heels and heading towards the direction of the stairs to the next level. Frowning, she began to doubt whether or not this was all a good idea. She didn’t know exactly what his deal was, but she really felt like he was too close to this. But she had the feeling trying to talk him out of it would be an exercise in futility, and would set her back far more than any lie she might spin.

Oh well, she sighed internally, jogging to catch up, so long as he doesn’t do anything stupid. He’s sensible enough to keep a cool head, no matter what his problem is. It’ll be fine.

While it wasn’t far, it took longer than either of them would have expected to actually find Jubilee & Atlas Antiques. Mainly because it was a surprisingly nondescript building compared to the opulent churches and museums nearby. Honestly, based on the exterior, one could easily have passed it by. Like everything else the building was pristinely white, the windows boasting small arches over them and flower boxes containing white impatiens. Really, the most impressive thing about it was the marble plaque out front boasting the company’s name in gold leaf.

But the two pirates didn’t really care about the appearance; it was what was inside that counted. That, and the information board out front, which stated in bold, black letters that there would be a showing and auction of North Blue artworks at 8pm that evening.

“Why don’t you just Scan the place, grab the vase, and walk away? Seems like that would be easy compared to putting on this charade?” Nami asked, eyeing the building. It was hardly Harpin’s mansion; it would take almost no effort for Law to use his powers to steal every item of value inside it, replacing artifacts, paintings, and money with pebbles and potted plants with a mere flick of his fingers, then teleporting them away to safety.

Really, if he weren’t such an ass, Trafalgar Law would be a thief’s dream partner.

Of course, he was an ass, so he gave her a look that implied he considered her question to be phenomenally stupid. “Because there’s no guarantee that the vase is even in there—for all I know it’s being kept in a secondary location until the actual event for security or health reasons. It is a relic from a city that suffered a notorious death toll both before and after the World Government had quarantined it,” he explained lowly. “On top of that, my Room would draw too much attention, so if it’s not in there, we’ll have blown our whole cover and probably the operation.”

Though disappointed that they couldn’t just whisk it away with his powers, she conceded that he had a point. Versatile and useful as they were, the Ope Ope no Mi’s abilities did have their drawbacks. Actually infiltrating the auction house was a safer move.

Yet for a moment, she saw Law glare at the building, as if he were equally frustrated that they couldn’t just grab their prize and go. Perhaps even a great mastermind like him sometimes wished to take the direct path. “At least we can be sure it’ll be presented at this auction,” he reassured, almost as much to himself as her as his hand rested on Nami’s lower back while he escorted her away. “Makes it easier to come up with a plan and contingencies when I actually know the target. My crew did good.”

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger in thought. She supposed he was right, and the pride in his voice when he mentioned the Hearts’ contribution…well, she knew better than to argue with that. Seemed the lesson he learned on the last island was sticking. “Still too bad we don’t have blueprints like Harpin’s house, though.”

“It can’t be helped. That was a job I’d been planning for months. This is more…spontaneous. Why? Scared and looking to back out?” he asked, glancing down at her with a challenging grin.

Nami scoffed. She was a thief that specialized in robbing pirates. Sure, she was a scaredy-cat, but when treasure of some kind was at stake, there were few risks she wouldn’t take. “Not a chance. Just pointing out that we’re going in more blind than last time.”

“Maybe, but at least our prize will be out in the open and not in the home of a former Marine with tentacles. Hell, we might even get it legally.”

“Law,” she started, brow furrowing. She wasn’t scared, but she did have a reasonable concern, especially with how intent he seemed on this one item. “What are we going to do if we don’t win the vase?”

The pair stopped by the Flevance fountain, Law taking a long moment to stare solemnly at the beautiful white angels. Without a word he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small coin, pressing it to his lips before flipping it into the water.

When he turned back to her, his gold eyes were as hard as the statues’ and twice as cold.

“Simple; we take it from whoever did.”

XXX

Hidden in a small cove on an unpopulated section of Atifakuto’s coast, the sight of the Polar Tang’s sunny yellow hull was a welcome relief after a whole day of the city’s stark white walls. Law seemed to agree as his tense posture relaxed into a comfortable slouch, even giving a few of the guys a small grin when they called out to them. To Nami, of course, the submarine was still far from the Sunny and thus would never be home, but she couldn’t help but smile at Law’s reaction. The Dark Doctor really did have some softness deep down.

Of course, that didn’t last long, as the moment they were within the safety of the cargo bay he was once more all business. “Dinner is in an hour. Rest up, brush up on your notes, do whatever you need to prepare for the auction tonight; I’ve got a few more dominoes to put in place,” Law stated. He’d been silent for most of the walk back, though Nami attributed that to him mentally filing through all the information they now had and formulating his plan. Much as she missed and loved Luffy, having a captain who didn’t just go rushing in like an idiot was a nice change of pace.

That didn’t mean she appreciated his tone, though. “Say please,” she quipped, hip jutting out. She might have decided to be more compliant for the sake of gaining his trust, but that didn’t mean she was going to let him boss her around.

Besides, if she were too accommodating, he’d probably grow suspicious and then she’d be right back at square one.

He scowled but apparently decided it would be a waste of time to argue. They were on a tight schedule, after all, so her attitude would have to be tolerated. For now. “Please,” he grumbled before marching off, beckoning Clione to follow him. The biologist glanced between the two, bewildered, but smartly said nothing before chasing after his captain.

Flashing a self-satisfied grin at Law’s retreating back, Nami practically skipped to her quarters. Even though they weren’t as prepared as she’d like, so far, things were going well. Perhaps they couldn’t just use Law’s powers to swipe the vase, but by obtaining it through legal means, they wouldn’t have the authorities after them, which would be nice. Besides, it wasn’t her money that would be spent at the auction.

Her research of the North Blue had taught her a few things, including just how valuable things from Flevance were. After all, things made from the white ore had been in high-demand during the city’s heyday; now that it was in ruins, any remaining artifacts would surely triple in price. And, admittedly, if that fountain had been anything to go by, the vase could very well be extremely beautiful. Something any art collector or historian might want for themselves.

Once more, she wondered why the hell Law wanted it. He collected coins, not art, so she doubted it would be something he wanted just for the heck of it. What was his obsession with Flevance—

That train of thought was derailed when Nami walked into her room. She blinked then rubbed her eyes, certain her vision was still messed up from the sun, because Ikkaku was still sitting at her desk, working on some little device, practically in the same position as that morning. Really, the only difference was the lack of towel around her head, though her curly hair was a tangled bird’s nest.

“Have you even moved today?” Nami exclaimed loudly, flabbergasted.

The mechanic jumped a few inches out of her chair, a pen cartwheeling through the air before falling back onto the surface of the desk with a clatter. Apparently since she’d had the room to herself, she hadn’t felt the need to put the earplugs back in, leaving her vulnerable to Nami’s loud voice. “Damn, girl, you scared me,” Ikkaku said with a breathy laugh. She glanced around, noticing the time on the clock and the fact that her hair had dried completely. “Guess I was in the zone.”

“You haven’t been working all day, have you?” Nami asked, plopping her shopping bag on her bed. “At least tell me you had lunch.”

“Sounding an awful lot like Law there,” she teased, pushing away from her desk to stretch. There was an audible pop from her back, and her dark eyes closed in relief. “Like me, too. The boys and I are always bugging a certain workaholic captain to eat something and not subsist solely on coffee and aspirin. But to answer your question, yes, I did have lunch.” She pointed at an empty plate that had been shoved into the far corner of the desk, a few grains of rice stuck to the surface. “Bepo brought me some onigiri.”

“Good. If you didn’t, I’d be dragging you into the galley and force-feeding you a sandwich, then charging you a cooking and inconvenience fee.”

Snorting, Ikkaku cracked her knuckles and rolled her shoulders, further releasing the tension sitting hunched over in one spot for hours had built up. “Dinner’s soon enough; even if I hadn’t eaten, I could have waited. And good luck making a sandwich with no bread on board.” Despite her dismissal tone, though, she gave a wry grin. “But thanks for caring, I guess, even if it does come with a price tag.”

“What are friends for?” Nami shrugged with a smile that was a little forced. It was such an alien feeling, this sudden awkwardness. Since first arriving on the Tang, she and Ikkaku had gotten on like a house on fire. It was almost inevitable, being the two women on the ship surrounded by men dealing with that insanity together. Hell, even if that hadn’t been the case, Ikkaku had practically sacrificed herself for her back at the club on Grimm. A companion like that was more than she’d even dared to dream of before she’d met Luffy.

Was it really right for Nami to act like she didn’t know about her brother? Should she just tell her that the guys told her about Ushi? Really, what was the point of keeping it a secret? It wasn’t that Nami thought she’d slip up and spill the beans—lying was her specialty, after all—but Ikkaku wasn’t some mark or stranger. She was her friend.

Hell, even if they were on opposite crews, she’d even dare to call her nakama.

The issue resolved itself, however, when the other woman’s expression turned a little melancholy. Ikkaku sighed as she rested her cheek on her fist, her other hand idly playing with the pen. “Heh. Funny, I used to ask myself that question a lot when I was younger. I didn’t really have friends back on my home island. I lived with my Gramps in a lighthouse, so besides the occasional trip to town, it was a pretty isolated life.”

“What about your brothers?” Nami asked, masking her interest by taking her purchases out of the bag so they wouldn’t wrinkle before the auction. A swell of relief surged through her. If Ikkaku talked about Ushi herself, the whole charade of pretending not to know about him wouldn’t even be necessary! She just had to carefully press for the right crumbs of information, maybe even offer up a couple tidbits about her own life in exchange. No big deal. Tit for tat, right? “Nojiko was my best friend growing up. Hell, probably my only friend until Luffy came along.”

A dark look crossed Ikkaku’s face. “Yeah, well, Nojiko on her worst day was probably a way better sibling than all of them combined.”

“I don’t think you’ve talked about them much. I basically just know that they exist and said you wouldn’t really make it as an engineer because you’re a girl.”

A long sigh escaped her lips. “That’s…the nice version. Didn’t want to unload my shitty childhood on you, especially since yours sounded worse. I mean, my island was never taken over by pirates, and I didn’t work for the guy who murdered my mom.”

Well, that was certainly true, but then again, people with healthy, normal childhoods seldom became pirates. Or at least, those that did rarely lasted long on such cutthroat seas. Nami should have realized there was more to the mechanic’s past than some run-of-the-mill misogyny. “Maybe, but I don’t mind. We’ve all gone through some rough shit, right? We wouldn’t be in this line of work otherwise.”

“True. I just…I guess I just like to pretend he doesn’t exist most of the time.”

“He?” she asked as if she didn’t already know.

Ikkaku’s calloused hand dropped the pen to instead clench into a tight fist, and there was a haunted look in her dark eyes as she stared off into space. “Ushi. He’s the oldest. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t afraid of him. Spent our childhood making our other brothers use me as a punching bag. When he wasn’t doing that, he gave me almost hourly reminders that I was a burden on the family, that no one really loved me, that I’d never amount to anything.” There was a hitch in her breath and a pause, and Nami noticed her close her eyes tightly for a moment. As if she were fighting back tears. It was a look she’d never expected to see on the tough, vibrant woman’s face. “Then, when I was seven, he tried to kill me.”

“What?!” Nami exclaimed, dropping her blazer to the floor in shock.

“Yeah. Joras had a huge fucking forest, and he led me into it to look for mushrooms or some shit. Can’t remember. Next thing I know, he’s shoved me into a pit, and by the time I’d climbed out, he was long gone and it was night. I think…I think it was supposed to be my grave, ‘cause it was really fucking deep. Or at least it seemed that way. Maybe I’m misremembering.”

Somehow, Nami doubted that. Sure, memories could get warped with age and fear, but some details remained solid for the rest of a person’s life. “But, you got out, right? And I’m sure your parents must have been worried sick!” She could almost picture it. A young Ikkaku, sticks and leaves caught in her messy curls, knees and elbows scraped, face covered in dirt and tears, frightened but once more able to smile when she was finally found, her mother and father scooping her into their arms, scolding her for worrying them but just so relieved she was safe…

At least, that’s what Bellemere or Mister Genzo would have done if Nami had gone missing.

From the bitter laugh that escaped her throat, Ikkaku hadn’t been so fortunate. “I spent three days wandering around those fucking woods, scared and cold and wondering if I was gonna die out there. My parents didn’t even notice I was gone.” After a long moment of silence, her fist unclenched and some of the tension eased out of her shoulders. “Gramps found me, though. When I didn’t come home after two days and a storm rolled in, my brothers Nausagi and Fukuro ran two miles to the lighthouse to tell him what Ushi had done. Maybe they realized he’d gone too far. Or they were scared I’d come back as a vengeful zombie. Either way, Gramps rescued me and demanded custody. Mama and Pops were glad to hand me over. One less mouth to feed, and I wouldn’t be causing their Future Marine Hero any more trouble.”

“That’s…that’s horrible.” And yet Nami could tell she was getting the abridged version of the story. “Tell me your grandfather was a better guardian.”

Despite the childhood trauma she’d just confessed to, Ikkaku merely shrugged, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips. “Yeah. He was. Gramps was crazy, but he loved me and taught me how to fight. Told me to never lose my smile, ‘cause that’s my best protection against a world that’ll try to break me.”

“Bellemere said something similar to me and Nojiko. ‘Whatever happens, never lose your ability to laugh. If you can survive, happy times, lots of ‘em, will come your way’.”

“Smart lady.” She tried to casually run her fingers through her hair, only to find them caught in the tangled knots. She let out a light chuckle at her predicament and added, “I think she and Gramps would have gotten along pretty well. Well, assuming she liked salty former smugglers who had the gumption to threaten Law with a shot gun. Not that he didn’t deserve it a little.”

Nami had to smile at that, and she could only imagine what he’d said that had nearly gotten him shot. It was definitely something snarky, a shit-eating grin on his face while he provoked a protective grandfather just because he could.

Noticing Ikkaku’s hair situation, she abandoned her suit to instead pick up a wide-toothed comb. “Well, I’m not sure about Bellmere, but I’d certainly love to meet him.”

“Of course you would.” Leaning back in the chair, she allowed Nami to carefully put her thick curls to rights. “How was shopping? Boss show you the blinding sights of the city?”

“It was…enlightening,” she said cautiously. There was still so much to sort out, and every time she thought she had an answer to one of her questions, four more popped up in its place.

Grabbing the pen she’d been playing with earlier, Ikkaku handed it to her over her shoulder. “Here; I made you something, since I doubt you’ll be able to bring your Clima-Tact with you. Kinda why I was so focused—I wanted it to be ready by tonight.”

Curious, Nami inspected the item. It was a plain black ballpoint pen maybe a bit longer than her hand. There was an almost unnoticeable jolly roger engraved into the middle, and she ran her thumb over it idly. “You spent the whole afternoon making me a pen? I could have just as easily brought my stylus.”

“Oh, but a stylus is only good for writing. This is so much more useful. ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’, right? Click the top.”

She did so, and instead of an ink-filled nub, a small syringe, similar to an epi-pen, popped out. Her eyes widened in realization as Ikkaku explained, “Inside’s a powerful tranquilizer. Should knock any fool out in minutes if injected into the bloodstream. Takes longer if it’s ingested. It’s non-lethal to humans, so it should be safe to use on anyone you’re looking to knock out. Assuming they aren’t really Fishmen in disguise.”

“Why? Does it react differently for them?”

She grimaced. “Yeah. Severe allergic reaction. Anaphylactic shock typically. So, unless you want that on your conscience, humans only.”

Tucking the pen away for later, Nami nodded in understanding and went back to combing her hair. “Gotcha. Doubt it’ll be a problem, though. Jean Bart said this place is pretty humans-only.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s impossible for someone to have that kind of bloodline. If it’s diluted through a few generations, a lot of the time you can hide it and pass for human.”

“Hmmm, hadn’t thought of that.”

There was a moment where Nami could tell she was mulling something over. Even faced away from her, Ikkaku wasn’t hard to read, and it was only a matter of time before she voiced whatever question was on her mind.

While she waited, the ginger took the time to appreciate the texture of Ikkaku’s hair, combing out each curl individually so it wouldn’t frizz. The thick, black locks were coarser than her own, yet surprisingly soft despite her hard life at sea. Hair maintenance was extremely difficult living on the ocean, the salt and fluctuating weather of the Grand Line wreaking havoc on Nami’s much finer strands. And while Ikkaku was far more feminine than one would expect upon first meeting her, in the time they’d roomed together, she didn’t seem to put much more extensive care into her shiny locks than some leave-in conditioner.

Guess she’s just got some good genetics, Nami thought appreciatively. Either that or she’s hiding some amazing shampoo formula, and damn if she is I’ll never forgive her!

When Ikkaku at last broke her silence, the hesitation in her voice was palpable. “Hey, it was a Fishman who held you prisoner all those years, right? You ever…blame all Fishmen for what he did?”

It was an unexpected question, but a fair one, Nami supposed. Arlong had committed a crime so heinous she knew she’d never forgive him, and she knew there were plenty of people, especially ones who spent years abused by such a monster, who would project that hatred onto an entire race. But why even ask?

“I…not really. I mean, I can’t say I never lumped them all together in my head, since Arlong and his crew were my only baseline for Fishmen for a long time.” She bit her lip, thinking. “But that was when I was a kid. My view of things was a lot more black-and-white, mostly because I was bitter at my situation. As I got older, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was stupid to think all Fishmen were like him. He was the one who hurt me, so he’s the only one who should get my hate.”

“So, you don’t hate them all?”

She shook her head. “Nah. Hell, I was even able to forgive a member of his crew. I’m sure you heard about how Luffy punched a Celestial Dragon?”

Ikkaku craned her neck up to look at her, dark eyes widening in shocked understanding. “Yeah? You saying the Fishman he defended—”

“One of Arlong’s crew. Hatchi. Like all of them, he hurt me too, but it was on his captain’s orders, and he clearly regretted it.” Well, it had been a bit more complex than that. Hell, when they’d first encountered him again, she’d nearly gone back on her promise to Camie to rescue him. Even if he hadn’t abused her like the others, he’d still been complacent in it. Still destroyed villagers homes, held her hostage, attacked the Navy ships that tried to come to the rescue. He hadn’t been blameless in the least. She would have had every right to demand that he be left to be killed or enslaved. That it was karma come to bite him in the ass.

Yet what had swayed her, apart from Camie’s determination to save him, was her own friends’ reactions to seeing him again. Those who knew her past had immediately been ready to turn the ship around and leave Hatchi to his fate. Of course she’d expected Sanji to be her knight in shining armor and want nothing to do with someone who had abused a lady, even by proxy. Zoro and Usopp had been a bit more surprising, though perhaps it shouldn’t have been. They knew what she’d been put through. Had fought and bled for her. Despite their sometimes heated disagreements, Nami knew she could count on them to always have her back.

The one who shocked her the most was Luffy. He might have flip-flopped between reason and his stomach, but the fact was, her loving, forgiving captain had actually held a grudge on her behalf. Hatchi and Arlong hadn’t done anything to him personally, but his nakama had suffered, and that wasn’t something he’d easily set aside. That genuine show of solidarity and loyalty to her had melted what ice had still been around her heart, which allowed her to truly forgive the octopus Fishman.

Yes, Hatchi had hurt her, but her hatred was solely reserved for Arlong, not his underlings who genuinely felt remorse.

“I’m not a saint or anything but hating Hatchi…it seemed pointless. He wasn’t the one who killed my mother. And blaming all Fishmen for the actions of one seemed pretty shitty. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t kill Arlong if I had the chance, though.”

Nami could practically feel the tension drain from Ikkaku’s shoulders, and she couldn’t hide her smile before she looked away. “That’s good to know. That asshole deserves it, from what you’ve told me. He and my brother should meet, then get sacrificed to some kind of horrible sea monster. Plenty of hungry Sea Kings out there to feed.”

“Couldn’t happen to a nicer pair of guys,” Nami giggled as she ran the comb through the last strand of hair. “Though, that might be cruel to the Sea King. Poor thing deserves a better meal than shit like them.”

“True. We’ll just have to think of something else then. We can ask Law; he’s always got great suggestions.”

A shudder ran down her spine, though she had to admit, it wasn’t as horrified as she’d like. She justified it with the fact that Arlong was scum who deserved whatever painful death the likes of Law might propose. So did Ushi, from the sounds of things. Though, Law had said Ikkaku had begged him not to kill her brother. Why? Did she still care about Ushi due to their familial ties? Or was there something else?

Maybe she just doesn’t want her brother’s death on her conscience, Nami thought, putting the comb away and proceeding to raid the closet for shoes. I just hope that doesn’t come back to bite her someday.

XXX

Dinner on the Tang was certainly livelier and noisier than breakfast. Mainly because the crew didn’t have to walk on eggshells while waiting for Law to get his caffeine hit. Most of the time about a dozen different conversations could be heard, utensils clattered against plates, insults were tossed about, and laughter filled the air. But at the moment, the whole galley was silent save for Nami, who was telling the Heart Pirates—save for a few who’d been sent out on last-minute errands—all about her crew’s wild adventure on Skypiea.

“…so, after Luffy beat the crap out of him, Enel flew off to the moon in his gold airship, and we escaped the island with the help of an octopus balloon, our ship loaded with treasure!”

There was a pregnant pause as the Hearts stared at her in a mix of awe and disbelief. She’d had their undivided attention ever since Law announced that the Straw Hats had found Noland’s lost city of gold, all but demanding she tell the tale and not skimp on the details.

Naturally, those details made the story even more bizarre, practically unbelievable, but she gave them what they asked for, so they couldn’t complain. Even Law’s jaw had dropped once or twice in incredulity. Mostly at the part where Luffy’d been eaten by a giant snake and thus been hidden from Enel’s senses.

Finally, a few of the crew managed to find their voices.

“An orangutan nearly wrecked your ship with singing?” Shachi asked, face utterly baffled.

Penguin grabbed his hat and smacked him over the head with it. “That’s what you’re stuck on? That’s from way back in the beginning of the story!”

The ginger punched him in the shoulder in retaliation, which quickly devolved into a childish slap fight. “Well it’s weird, ok?”

“Weirder than Straw Hat punching Kami or the knock-up stream business or the ship that flew to the moon?”

“Yeah! You ever met an orangutan that could sing?!”

“No, but that’s not the point!”

“You met Monte Blac Cricket?” Ermine interrupted, eyes so wide the whites could be seen even under the rim of their hat, though their mouth quickly split into a smile. “Holy shit, I’d wondered what had happened to him!”

“Wasn’t he your friend or something?” Seiuchi asked through a mouth full of rice.

They shook their head, looking a little wistful, a faint blush rising to their cheeks. “Just a neighbor. The people of Lvneel were dicks to his family and anyone who associated with them didn’t get treated much better. But I always thought there had to be some truth to Noland’s story.”

“Because a city of gold is so fantastical it’s gotta be real?” Nami asked, amused. She’d half-expected everyone to laugh at her like the people on Jaya when she’d asked about Sky Island—she’d even glossed over that part, finding no reason to recap such a blow to her pride. Yet instead, they’d been respectful, even entranced by her tale. It seemed to help that she’d been able to fill in a few blanks with what she remembered from Noland’s ledger, thus adding credibility to the man himself instead of just imagining the lying fool the king’s slander had reduced him to.

Usopp would probably love these guys, she thought fondly. Not that they’d likely believe his fantastical lies, but they’d probably at least let him spin his yarns to his heart’s content.

“Because you don’t tell a king about a city of gold unless you’ve got something to show for it,” Uni interjected wisely, ladling some more curry onto her plate. He paused to smile at her with his eyes, the bottom half of his face still distinctly covered by his bandana despite it being dinnertime. This close, Nami couldn’t help but try to subtly look for signs of scarring, and in fact could spot a line of slightly-paler skin peeking out just over the edge. “That, and history’s rarely all that accurate. Full of lies and twisted to suit a certain narrative.”

“That’s the World Government way. I’m sure we’ll see plenty of it tonight,” Law stated, leaning back in his chair as he munched on some onigiri. The bulge in his cheek might have been comical, but the glint in his eye was humorless. “Can’t wait to hear the dumbass assumptions people make about us Northerners.”

Murmurs of agreement echoed throughout the room, though an angry tic formed on Nami’s forehead.

“Are you saying the stuff you had me study is going to be a load of crap?” she demanded, pointing her finger accusingly. Of course she knew history was skewed at best, but she’d spent days cramming! Had weird sexual dreams about him because of it!

Yes she was blaming the book for that and no one could stop her.

He shrugged and took another bite of rice, unbothered by her irritation. “It’s the information you’ll need to be able to regurgitate if anyone asks you about the North.”

“Yeah,” Penguin chimed in, nodding sagely. He and Shachi had finally been pulled apart by Jean Bart and had resumed eating like nothing had happened. “These people aren’t interested in the truth. They just want to feel superior to the ‘uneducated masses’.”

“Buncha pretentious pricks,” Shachi sniggered, balancing a spoon on his upper lip. “Bet they’d have a fucking fit if they found out El Dorodo’s not only real, but in the fucking sky!”

“I mean, can’t say I’d blame them,” Jude grumbled, playing a bit with his food like a grumpy child. “I figured we’d be the ones to find it, but this whole time we’ve been sailing around in a submarine for nothing!”

“You got something to say about my ship?” Ikkaku snapped, glaring at her crewmate. Behind her, Crozier, Cousteau, and Ermine made slashing motions across their throats, silently reminding him that disparaging the Polar Tang in any way in front of its chief engineer was a sure death sentence.

Before he could say anything, Uni thwapped him on the forehead with the spoon, apparently taking just as much offense. “How can you say it’s been for nothing—we’ve found tons of cool shit down here! May not have been El Dorado, but there have been some amazing sunken cities. And fish! We’ve discovered more aquatic animals than any other ocean explorer,” he pointed out excitedly, Cousteau nodding in agreement. “I mean, we’ve seen deep-sea fish not recorded in any book! Extracted hallucinogenic venom from puffer fish! Taken samples of bioluminescent plankton! We’ve seen octopi punch fish!”

“You ever figure out why they do that?” Shachi asked, cocking his head.

“Best I can figure? Spite.”

As weird as this little tangent was, Nami found herself giggling a bit at how excited Uni was. She didn’t know him too well, given how he was one of the quieter, more reserved members of the crew, but it was endearing to see him so animated and giddy as he discussed marine life.

“Plus, it’s cool to study navigational currents and everything, and underwater topography. The maps I can make from that kind of intel are really good,” Bepo added, twiddling his claws a bit beside her.

“Right! And if that’s still not enough to convince you, who needs a city of gold when you can get your hands on more sunken treasure than most pirates see in their lifetimes?” Uni asked, puffing out his chest.

She couldn’t help it—Nami’s eyes lit up with belli signs at the thought of how many sunken ships the submarine probably came across, all that gold theirs for the taking. Most treasure was basically lost once it hit the bottom of the ocean, but the Hearts’ ship and diving equipment turned the ocean floor into their personal piggy bank.

It seemed Jude had the same thought. “You’re right, you’re right,” he conceded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, it’s a great ship, and we’ve definitely found more than a city’s worth of loot—and yes the fish are cool Uni put the spoon away—but it’s still annoying to find out that we’ve been searching the wrong place this whole time.”

“Eh, happens to every pirate crew,” Jean Bart said, sipping his drink. “You find a treasure map only to discover the gold’s already dug up. Same with legends of lost cities. The fact that the Straw Hats actually found El Dorado and came away with a profit just means they’ve got the Devil’s luck on their side.”

“Or the favor of some god. Probably not that Enel guy, though,” Shachi said with a smirk. “And hopefully nothing from Joras, either.”

There was a murmur of agreement among the crew at that, though Ikkaku looked more uncomfortable than amused. Nami wasn’t the only one to catch that, though, as Uni reproachfully smacked the side of his head with the spoon.

“Dude. Don’t joke about the eldritch horror gods, yeah?”

“Sorry,” the ginger said, blushing slightly as he wiped away the curry splattered across his face.

“Eldritch horror gods?” Nami asked, recoiling at the thought. What the fuck?! Joras sounded vaguely familiar and given the context she guessed it had to be someplace in the North Blue, but she sure as hell didn’t recall reading anything about that! Was this something related to Northern culture, or were the guys just fucking with her?

“Nothing to worry your pretty little head over, Nami-ya,” Law stated with a smirk, though she didn’t miss the glare he sent Shachi’s way. “We’ve been sailing under the ocean for over five years and I’ve yet to see a sleeping god who can turn you mad with terror.”

“No, just an underwater ruin or two that talks about him,” Ikkaku muttered, picking at her food.

Underwater ruins with tales of sleeping gods? Sounds like something Robin would be interested in, Nami thought, nervous sweat running down her neck. Not that she’d be able to blame her. Sure, the archeologist was macabre as hell, but Nami could appreciate her thirst for knowledge, creepy or not. Who knew what history and cultures had been lost to the seas? Maybe there were even Poneglyphs down at the bottom of the ocean!

Damn. Robin and Law would probably get along great. She wasn’t sure if she was frightened or comforted by this thought.

Uni seemed to notice her unease and patted her shoulder. “We’ve seen some strange stuff down there, but nothing more dangerous than Sea Kings. Which, I mean, aren’t exactly friendly guppies, but they’ll leave us be. The Tang’s Seastone coating and electrical defenses ensure that.”

Though she still found the whole concept horrifying, she was appreciated how hard Uni was trying to keep the peace and not make things needlessly frightening for her. The whole crew had a morbid sense of humor, but while she’d mostly adapted, she still found this whole conversation creepy. It made her feel a little guilty for wanting to pry into his business. Yeah, it was annoying to know the crew was hiding stuff from her, but Uni deserved a little privacy, right?

“Yeah, and if there were anything more, Uni’s fish buddies would warn us ahead of time!” Malamute added.

“Fish buddies?” Nami asked, eyebrows lifting to her hairline in surprise. So much for respecting his privacy. “Wait, can you talk to fish?”

The man in question stiffened beside her. “I, uh, I can understand fish a little,” he said, looking nervous. His large hands twisted the napkin in his lap, and he refused to look at her. “It’s a Haki thing.”

“Haki can do that?” she asked, surprised.

“Observation Haki can do a lot of things, and Uni’s the best at it on the ship,” Law cut in harshly, glare brokering no argument. “It’s a skill that’s saved our asses plenty of times.”

Nami blanched at his defensive tone. “Hey, I’ll take your word for it, but you don’t have to act like I insulted his mother or something.”

“It’s ok, Law,” Uni said, shrugging a bit, though his face seemed to sink a little further into his bandana. “I know she didn’t mean anything by it. It’s a fair question, and it is a weird talent.”

“It’s not weird. It’s fucking useful as hell and I won’t hear anyone belittling my crew.”

“I’d never belittle him—” Nami snapped, starting to stand up to give Law a piece of her mind before Bepo’s heavy paws fell on her shoulders, gently but firmly keeping her seated.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “Law doesn’t mean you. It’s just…the last person outside the crew that found out, he was extremely cruel about it. Beat Uni to a pulp and even threatened to sell him as a freak show attraction before Captain found them.”

“Oh my god,” she replied, anger cooling quickly as she covered her mouth in horror, imagining Uni bruised and bloody on the ground at the hands of some bastard. Well, that would sure as hell explain why Law had taken such offense. If such a thing had happened to Chopper because he could speak to animals, she’d likely be just as pissed. From the scowls on the rest of the Hearts’ faces, the whole crew felt similar. Her gaze flicked to the fuming captain. “I’m guessing he ended up on your operating table?”

“I wish,” he growled, gold eyes glinting in fury as he crossed his arms. “Marines showed up before I could cut out his heart. Must have been his lucky day, but luck won’t be enough to save him if I ever run into Hyena-ya again.”

“Hyena?” she asked, the name not ringing any bells.

“Bellamy the Hyena,” Bepo explained, snout wrinkling in distaste. “He’s also from the North.”

Oh. My. God, Nami thought, wondering if the world was really so small. “You said Bellamy, right? Blonde hair? Spring powers? Asshole with a stupid grin?”

Law cocked an eyebrow in mild surprise. “Seems you’ve encountered him before.”

She ground her teeth as she remembered the way he’d mocked Luffy’s dreams in the bar. “Yeah. On Jaya. His crew laughed at me for asking about Sky Island and his first mate tried to buy me. Later he stole Cricket’s gold, so Luffy went after him. I didn’t see the fight but given what an ass that guy was…yeah, Luffy wiped that stupid smile off his face.”

Once more the room fell silent, but quickly broke out into thunderous applause.

“Hah! I would have paid good money to see that!” Ikkaku laughed, spirits lifted.

“If he hurt Cricket, I’m glad he got the beating he deserved,” Ermine said with a grin.

Uni smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling happily. “When you see Straw Hat again, shake his hand for me! That guy’s a dick.”

Even Law was put in a better mood, though there was still a malicious edge to his smirk. “Good on Mugiwara-ya. Still wouldn’t mind doing some permanent damage to the fucker myself, though. Bad enough he insulted my crew, but that bastard should pick his idols more carefully.”

Nami’s brow furrowed at that. His idols? The hell did that mean?

She didn’t have time to vocalizing that question, though. Sweat ran down her neck when said smirk then took a more lecherous edge as he rested his chin on his fist, eyes glinting with mischief. “But Sarquiss-ya tried to buy you? I might have prioritize kicking his ass, then. I’m the only one who gets to be your sugar daddy.”

“Oh shut up! You didn’t even buy me new shoes!”

“You got her a suit but no shoes? For shame, Boss,” Ikkaku giggled, getting up to help Seiuchi and Jude clear the tables. “I thought you were supposed to be a ladies’ man.”

“I’m a cruel bastard who doesn’t do something for nothing. She can borrow yours.”

Sauntering over, she playfully poked him in the forehead. “Says who?”

Law snorted and childishly poked her right back. “Me. Your captain. The guy who pays your salary.”

“You pay me to keep the submarine running and sass you when you’re being an idiot.”

“I don’t pay you for that.”

“Mmmm, you’re right; that’s a service I provide for free.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say those two were siblings,” Nami chuckled under her breath.

“Right? When I was first recruited I was convinced they were secretly related,” Uni agreed.

Bepo gave them both a smile and said quietly, “I think it’s good for them. Especially Law. I think he secretly likes having a little sister again.”

Brown eyes widened at that little tidbit. Law had a sister? What happened to her? Bepo had stated the past tense, so there was either some kind of falling out or…

…oh no, she thought, turning to watch Law continue to bicker good-naturedly with Ikkaku, his expression annoyed but the glimmer in his eyes belying that he was enjoying himself. Another piece of the puzzle that was the Surgeon of Death had fallen into her lap, but it wasn’t a particularly happy one. Sure, people died or were killed all the time, but Nami couldn’t imagine what she’d be like if she’d lost Nojiko. And depending on how young they’d been or how she’d died, that could really fuck with a guy.

“Nami-ya.”

Her attention was yanked from her musing as Law called her name. He was on his feet, plate clean and smirk dangerous as he regarded her. Nami wondered whether this would be the last time she’d see him in a genuinely good mood for the rest of the evening. “It’s seven o’clock. Time to get ready to watch history be defiled by pretentious morons. And for your obnoxious thunder god’s sake, make sure you’re wearing shoes you can actually run in.”

( @ninhaoma-ya, @awesomi, @vannahfanfics)

#Fic: Welcome to the Heart Pirates #lawna #trafalgar law x nami #Trafalgar D. Water Law #lawnami #op fanfiction #op fanfic #heart pirates #heart pirate nami #ikkaku one piece #one piece ikkaku #uni one piece #law x nami #cat burglar nami #one piece nami #nami

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The gone but never forgotten queen; Brian May x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well for those who have enjoyed the first couple of parts to “Soulmates through music” I hereby am proud to announce that I have not one but two that’s right TWO chapters for you all. So here my lovely darlings in the long awaited part 2. 

Now just be warned THERE IS SOME ANGST HERE. I tried to do as much medical research as I could so if there is anything I got wrong about it, please please please please please PLEASE inform me, especially if you yourselves suffer through this condition I have written. Other than the swearing contained in here and the angst, there’s nothing else really to be said about warnings. I hope you all enjoy this my darlings and be on the look out for pt.3 coming up shortly :)

Links to other parts.

Part 1     Part 1.5     Part 3       Part 4

Queen Taglist:

@geek-and-proud

__________________________________________________________

*1979*

It was the end of yet another show.  A stage handler handed me a towel and I wiped my forehead and dabbed my cheeks wiping the sweat that was pouring off my face.

“(Y/n) darling you were fantastic out there!” I heard Freddie’s voice praise me as I felt him tackle me from behind in a hug. I laughed and patted his hand as I said.

“Hey just doin as you taught me Fred.” I felt him kiss my cheek and that’s when Roger’s voice piped.

“Oi Brian, I think your wife’s replaced you with Fred!”

“Fuck you Taylor!” I cried out.  He stuck his tongue at me and I flipped him off meanwhile Brian and Deacy soon came into the view and I left Fred’s embrace and went to my husband’s and we kissed each other and I said to him.  “You know you’re the only guy for me right?”

“I would assume so my love.”

“You are never doubt yourself. To me you will always be my Emperor penguin.”

“And you’re my empress penguin.” We kissed each other again as Roger said again.

“God I can’t take this mushy gooey shit another second.”

“One day though Rog you’ll get that girl and then it’ll be our turn to make fun of you.” Brian said as he turned towards the blonde drummer.

In our dressing room we were all back in normal clothes and I was wiping away the makeup from my face when Freddie said.

“Come on darling we’re gonna head on over to the pub around the corner.”  I stopped wiping my makeup away for a brief moment and said as I turned towards the guys.

“You all go on ahead, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“You sure (y/n)?” asked Deacy.

“Yeah. Don’t worry guys I’m fine, now go on I’ll literally be right behind you.”

“Okay if you say so.” It was then Freddie, Roger and Deacy left the dressing room and headed on down to the pub we had passed on our way here.  I turned back towards the mirror and looked down at my hands and rubbed my left wrist as I could feel the numbing pain once more.

I felt two hands rub up and down my biceps and a kiss at my temple.

“Your wrists again dear?”

“Yeah, they’re even more numb than the last show we played at.” I felt Brian take one of my hands as he came around and knelt down beside me.  His long, calloused fingers very softly stroked my hands I turned to look at Brian and he kissed the underside of my wrist up to my palm before saying.

“Perhaps you should take a break from tomorrow night’s performance.”

“Brian this is the 12th show I’ll be missing of the tour. The press is starting to get on my ass on why I’ve been skipping shows, already spilling out lies about me.”

“Darling you know as well as I that the press always want to rile any famous face up, just to get us to really start something and make us seem the bad guys here.”

“I know, god why must they be so horrible to people?”

“That’s a question I wish I had an answer to.” He placed his hand against my cheek and said as he stared into my eyes, “But seriously, as your husband I insist you take tomorrow night’s performance off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But I don’t want to let the guys down. I feel like now I’m just being dead weight by skipping all these shows.”

“You know that they’d never think of you so lowly. They adore you, and they’re worried about you just as much as I am.”

“Well don’t. I think I’m just overexerting myself with all this new music we’ve been creating. Trying to improvise on how certain songs that don’t really need keyboard accompaniment would sound.”

“Just need a bit more rest, give your hands and wrists time to heal.” He finished for me.  I smiled at him and he softly smiled back.  “C’mon, let’s go home.”

“What about the guys?”

“They’ll be fine, you’re my number one priority right now.” Suddenly I was picked up bridal style. I let out a soft shriek and laughed as I said.

“Bri, my legs are fine it’s just my wrists that hurt.”

“But you have been standing all night long, your feet must be killing you my love, the least I can do it give you a lift to your carriage.” I laughed as I shook my head at him and said.

“You silly penguin.”

“Ahh but your silly penguin.” He said as his forehead touched mine, our noses just barely grazing each other’s.

“Yeah, my strong emperor penguin.”

“My beautiful empress penguin.” We Eskimo kissed each other and not once separated until we threw our heads back (think of it like the two penguin love gesture that they do when they nuzzle each other and shake their heads as they throw them back).

The next day while Brian had gone to rehearsals I stayed at the house with the kids and my mum who wanted to visit her two favorite grandchildren.  Almost a year ago, Jimmy had come into the world out of nowhere but we’re ever so grateful for our little boy, and of course little Chloe adores her brother. Even at only a year old she always want to be around him, they take naps together, they play together, eat together, swing on the swings together.

I just hope as they get older it’ll stay that way and that we don’t have to deal with any sibling drama.

Currently I was just fixing up the kid’s lunch as it was getting close to their lunchtime according to the schedule that Brian and I had agreed to while my mum entertained the kids.

“So how have things been going between you and Brian dear?” I heard her ask.

“Great mum. He’s still as humble as the day I met him, I can’t say the same for Roger though.” I teased.  “Okay give me my children mum, it’s lunchtime.”

“Okay my little duckies, you both ready for lunch? You both ready for lunch?” I could hear Chloe babbling cutely and Jimmy clapping his hands.  My mum soon came into the kitchen with both my kids in each arm and I cooed out as I reached for Jimmy.

“You ready to eat my little man huh? You ready to eat?” But as I went to pick him up by his underarms, I felt this sudden shot of agonizing pain.  It was like having a hammer suddenly slam right on your hand without warning or receiving an electrical shot times 50.

I cried out in pain which had my mum worried scared.

“Oh my god (y/n) baby what is it? What hurts?” With all my screaming and crying, it made the kids start to cry too.  My mum set the kids down in their chairs and came over to me and took my hands and placed a bag of frozen peas over them as she tried to soothe me.

Within fifteen minutes after icing them and finally getting the kids to calm down, the shocking pain was gone and replaced with the normal numbness.  My mum sat on the couch feeding Jimmy now after just feeding Chloe.

“How long has this been going on for?” I didn’t answer her.  “(Y/n) (m/n) May you tell me right now or so help me—”

“I don’t know mum, truly I don’t.” Actually that was a lie.  But I’m always been such a convincing person that I can make a lie sound like the truth.

Hell if I’m being honest, I think this pain first started the night Brian, Roger and I met Freddie.  The pain started up around then, it came in short intervals then it wouldn’t happen again for another few months or so.  But it truly started to get this bad shortly after Jimmy was born and of course Brian being the clever person that he is, saw right through my lies and I told him about the pain I’ve been experiencing.

“(Y/n) sweetie I really think you should see a doctor about this.”

“I have mum, the medics always tell me just to ice it, have it be supported at night and hope that it goes away.”

“Well what do those concert medics know? What I just witnessed it seems like they don’t know shit.”

“Mum!”

“I’m sorry but it’s true. I’ll make you an appointment with your father’s physical therapist and see what he says. I’ll even come with you.”

“No mum don’t. I’m not a little girl anymore that’s scared to go to the doctors. I can do it myself. I’ll find someone else to do this, besides somehow the press got a hold of where dad’s therapist clinic was and I don’t want to be bombarded with their bull.”

“Okay darling, promise me you’ll call me and tell me what the doctor will tell you.” My mum asked as she placed a hand on my cheek.

“I promise mum.” I rubbed her arm and kissed it and she wrapped her arm around me and I lay my head on her chest as she kissed the top of my head.

That night I lay there on my empty bed wearing one of Brian’s nightshirts wishing that he was here with me.  Truth is, I’m terrified about what I will find out.  I don’t know if this is some type of new cancer or if something else is truly wrong with me and I could be dying.  I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to leave Brian, Deacy, Rog, Freddie or the kids this soon.

I gripped Brian’s pillow and softly cried into it trying to imagine being in Brian’s arms hoping that would bring me comfort but unfortunately it didn’t and I ended up crying myself to sleep.

The next few days were a blur as I tried to find myself the perfect doctor that wouldn’t spill the beans to the press about what I will find wrong with myself.  It was hard trust me, but I managed to find a perfect candidate; Dr. Stephen Matthews a PCP and neurologist.

I called his office and told him who I was and told him that if I were to meet him then there has to be utter secrecy of what will be discussed between us.  I wanted it to be just him and me in the room at all times, locked doors, blinds shut, everything.  

Amazingly he agreed to the terms and told me that his job was not only to diagnose his patients but also ensure the secrecy of their diagnoses.  It was then I made an appointment with him first thing the next morning.

At 4:30am I woke up and stood in the bathroom getting ready for my appointment.  After getting some makeup on, I then bumped it up a notch and put my hair in a tight bun before placing a wig cap over my head.  Once I had hidden all traces of my normal hair strands, I reached for the short asymmetrical pure black bob wig that sat right there on a mannequin head.

Just to fool around with the press, I still kept in touch with an old friend and my former roommate from University, Nadia Romanoff who was into theatre specifically hair and makeup and let me tell you she was amazing at it.  So amazing that she immediately got hired for the London Shakespearean theater to work for them, now she’s in the film industry in America.

Free of charge and as sorta payback for making me her guinea pig for most of the term that I was there, I had asked her if she could hook me up with some different wigs to which she replied.  So the 10 wigs I keep stored away with my concert attires, are all wigs personally made by her, made from real human hair donated from barbershops for purposes such as Nadia’s.

I placed the wing on top of my head and messed around with it and brushed it out until it looked like I had a completely different hairstyle, especially since I was known for my long (h/c). So with this hairstyle I would just look like another person.  I sighed deeply as I stared at myself in the mirror.

After dropping the kids off at Brian’s mum’s place since she was always an early riser than my own mum was, I drove to Stephen’s clinic. As the sun was starting to rise, I entered inside the clinic and walked down the silent hallway until I reached his office.

We then began doing various tests and x-rays on both hands and of course like all doctors he asked me the basic questions. When did it start? How long has it been going on for? Did I have any family history with this kind of pain, etc.

And it was then at 7:15am when Dr. Matthews came in and sat down in front of me with a file in his hand and he told me exactly what it was that was causing my wrists and hands so much pain.

CTS. Otherwise known as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Having not heard of this before the first thing I asked him was how long I’ve got to live.  To which he answered that it’s not cancerous or even dangerous, but it’s apparently when there’s a pinched nerve in the wrists are blocked which is why I’ve been experiencing the numbness.

He said sometimes it is caused by over stressing of the wrists whether it was due to sewing, manufacturing, writing, or in my case, piano playing.  He also said some contributing factors to CTS was due to fluid retention during pregnancy or menopause.  He even mentioned that it’s not uncommon because women were three times more likely to get diagnosed with CTS than men were, so he assured me I wasn’t the only woman he’s diagnosed with this problem.

“Do you understand Mrs. May? The—way we go from here you can either continue home remedies such as icing and supporting it as you sleep along with some medications and some braces, or we could operate.”

“What would the operation entail?” I asked him.

“Well it wouldn’t be too excessive, just enough for a neurosurgeon to just cut the ligaments to relieve the pressure, no overnight stay required. But due to the severity and the amount of wait time you’ve had to get this checked out the surgery would pose an even greater risk than had you’d been diagnosed a few years ago.”

“What would happen to me?”

“There’s—a risk of potential nerve damage. There could be a high chance of you never being able to control your fingers specifically your thumbs, index and tall fingers. The choice is all up to you, I’m only just explaining the risks that could happened should you choose the surgical path. If not then it’ll just be home remedies and prescribed medication for the rest of your life to help with the numbness and the pain from spiking up as you had told me about when you tried to pick up your son.” I nodded my head and I asked him.

“Can you give me a couple of days to think it over?”

“Of course, for now I’m going to give you a pharmacy address for where you can pick up your wrist braces, then once you’ve reached a decision call me back and we can discuss on where we go from there.” I thanked him for his time and I walked down the hallway toward the exit.

Just before I could walk out the door, I soon heard someone say to me which echoed through the still empty hallway.

“Dynamite with a laser beam.” I stopped in place and turned to see a woman around my age with a brace on her wrist too.  The corner of my mouth lifted as I responded back to her.

“Guarantee to blow your mind.” Her eyes widened and I smiled softly at her and held my index finger to my lips telling her not to give away our secret.  She smiled at me and I walked out of the clinic and drove back to my step-mum’s house to pick up the kids and take them home.

A week passed and I still hadn’t come to a decision just yet.  I still wore the wrist braces but I was still on the fence about going on medications for the rest of my life or risking a surgery that could mess up my nerves forever.

As I was rocking Jimmy for his afternoon nap, a knock was soon heard at the door.  Jimmy grumbled and fussed at being woken up just as he was about to fall asleep. I sighed heavily vowing to kill whomever it was that was at the door for waking up my stubborn boy.  I reached the door and opened it and I was shocked to see just who was standing on the other side.

“Tim?”

“Hey (y/n), been awhile, hadn’t it?”

“Yeah uhh—” I didn’t know what to say to him.  It’s been god I don’t know almost ten years since I’ve spoken to my brother and now all of a sudden here he is at my doorstep.

“Can—I come in?” he asked.  Normally I would’ve declined this offer but I knew I had to be the adult here, we’re both grown ups now and it’s time to bury the hatchet. Plus he came all this way and it’d be rude for me to just throw him back out on the street.

“Sure, yeah please come in.” I opened the door further for him and led him inside.

We now sat in the parlor and I handed Tim his coffee just like how he liked it; black no sugar.  He set the mug down after having a sip and I held Jimmy close to me trying to get him to go back to sleep.

“Which one is this?” asked Tim.

“This is Jimmy, your nephew. Chloe is currently napping right now. But you can look through that album under the table at Chloe’s baby book.” He nodded and took Chloe’s baby book out and began browsing through it.  He softly smiled and said.

“She looks just like you did when you were first born.”

“That’s what mum said.” Silence rang through the room and that’s when I said, “Tim not that I don’t appreciate you coming here but—why are you here?”

“Mum told me about your diagnoses that your secret doctor gave you, that CST.”

“CTS.” I corrected him.

“Right. Back when I got into Humpy Bong our pianist was diagnosed with it as well, completely ruined him. So much so that he thought he had no meaning left and he actually overdosed. When mum told me that you had it I—I just wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna…..you know.”

“Tim…..”

“I know that I haven’t been the best brother to you, hell I was a total wanker to you growing up. Pushing you too hard, I feel like this is my fault and I just….”

“Tim stop.” I told him.  He looked up at me and I sighed deeply before saying calmly, “I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything. There’s no reason you should even feel guilt. Well I could let you but I’m a mother now and I want to teach my kids that holding grudges never solves anything.” Tim choked out a laugh and I continued, “But what I do ask of you is that you don’t feel sorry for me, okay? I don’t want any sympathy or frowns or even tears about this. Stuff like this just happens, and for women it’s more common why that is I have no idea. Wish it didn’t but it does for whatever goddamn reason.”

“I want to make things right between us. So if you need anything, and I mean anything at all. You know you can always call me, right?” I smiled softly at him.

Seeing the soft look in his eyes, that’s all I’ve ever wanted from Tim.  His acceptance and the true love of what an older brother is.

“Thank you Tim. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to here you say those words.”

“I should’ve said them to you from the beginning. I failed you as a brother, but I want to make things right now. Will—will you give me another chance?” I looked at my brother and softly smiled at him.

Suddenly the front door opened again and I heard a familiar voice call out.

“Darling we’re home!” Soon the boys came around the corner of the house and when they saw Tim, both Brian and Roger were shocked to see him after all this time.

“Tim.” Muttered Brian.

“Brian, Rog, long time no see huh? Good to see you all have made a good name for yourselves.” Answered Tim.

“He’s not bothering you, is he (y/n)?” asked Roger succumbing to his protective instincts that he’s had towards me.

“Calm down Rog, everything’s good. I invited him over, felt like he deserved to meet his nephew and niece. A visit that was long overdue, right Tim?” he turned toward me and he went along with it.

“Yeah. But I don’t wish to impose any longer, I’ll see myself out.”

“Nonsense. I’m just about to start dinner, why don’t you stay?” I said to him.  Tim looked at me unsure but I gave him an assuring look telling him that there was no way he was getting away that easily.

“If that’s alright with you lads.” It was then Brian spoke up.

“I don’t mind. You did come all this way, plus you do deserve the chance to meet your niece and nephew face to face. Where’s Chloe at love?”

“She’s napping, though it is around the time she should be waking up. Why don’t you go get her Brian?” He nodded then went upstairs to go get Chloe.

“I can take him if you’d like (y/n).” said Deacy.

“Thanks John.” I handed him my son and I went over to the kitchen and that’s when Freddie and Roger came in and they asked if I needed some help.

I asked Fred to help me with some of the cooking while I had Roger set up the table.  After that boiled egg incident at Ridge farm, I vowed to never let Roger near a kitchen stove ever again so setting up the table is what he’ll be stuck with.  Once the pasta was ready, we all set down to a family dinner and I was told by the guys that they officially had a week break to rest up before they would head to America to finish up the tour.

So throughout the night it was spent just catching up and for the first time, Tim and I began to connect with each other as brother and sister.

Later that night after everyone had left the house and Brian went to bed, I silently slipped out of the bed and headed into the kitchen to make the phone call that I had been denying myself.  I held the phone to my ear and waited for it to ring before finally I heard his voice on the other line.

“Dr. Matthews it’s (Y/n) May. I’ve made my decision.”

A few days later with the help of Dr. Matthews, he gave me the prescribed pills that I would need to take twice a day one in the morning and one at night before I go to bed.  I kept the pills hidden so well that not even Brian would be able to find them or even suspect anything. The American tour dates were fast approaching so after the boys had their week’s rest it was time to get back in the game, and this time I was tagging along with them once more.

We were currently rehearsing “We are the Champions” and I was at the piano.  We were at the second chorus and I was doing good so far, the boys giving it their all and Freddie singing his heart out almost as if this rehearsal room was full of people instead of just us five.  

But by the second transition when the chorus needed to repeat, my wrists flared up even with the braces on and I missed a key. Which caused me to slam down the left side keys of the piano before leaning my head against my hands and holding them together trying to get the pain to stop.

“Yep, let’s call it.” I heard Deacy say as everyone stopped playing and agreed.

“Sorry. I played like shit.” I complimented as I shut the lid protecting the keys.  “You boys are lovely, sounded good.” I told them as I spun around from the piano bench as I saw the boys packing up their stuff.  “God if Elton heard me play like that he’d slap my hands like a Catholic professor.” Which made the boys chuckle.

“No worries darling, we’ve still got three days till we head out for America.” Freddie said as he took a sip of his beer.

“We’re in a good place love, your hands just need a bit more rest. That’s all.” Brian said as he stood before me and took one of my hands and stroked the brace. “How ‘bout when we get home, I give your wrists the proper massage, hmm?”

“Sounds divine my love.” I said lovingly to him. He smiled softly and pecked my lips before joining the guys in the back.

“You fancy a drink Rog?” I heard Freddie ask.

“Yeah there’s that’s new pub they just opened that I’ve been wanting to check out.”

“Can I come?” Brian asked.

“(Y/n) can, you cannot.” Deacy answered.

“Yeah exclusive invite only.” Said Roger.

“Sorry darling reservations in advance, (y/n) got hers in before you did.”

“Okay screw all of you. I see how it is.” Finally I decided it was time.

“Before we leave; do you all have a second?” I said as I stood before them and looked at my four boys.

“Of course darling, what’s up?” asked Brian. I took a deep breath before stating bluntly and right then and there.

“I’ve got CTS.” Everyone looked at me confused as Deacy questioned.

“What’s CTS?”

“Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.” It was then the expressions on Freddie’s, Roger’s, Deacy’s and Brian’s turned to shock.  “It’s when my wrists suddenly flare up in numbness or pain, that’s why my piano playing has been shitty lately, and the reason for the pain I’ve been experiencing these past couple of years.”

“(Y/n) dear I—I’m so sorry…..”

“Freddie stop. Don’t you dare.”  I looked down at my wrists before looking back at the boys and said, “Right now, there’s only 7 people who know about this, okay just 7. You four, my mum, brother and of course Dr. Matthews. Now I don’t want to hear any sympathy, see any frowning or bitching about how I should continue to take breaks. Because all that’ll be is just wasted time, time that I can spend playing alongside my boys.”

Each of them looked at me with faint tears in their eyes or looks of awe.

“This tour means everything to me now, because—I’ve come to the painful decision and it kills me to even say this but I know that if I continue to deny my health, then I’ll never use my hands to even be able to hold my children or any future children I may have.” I now stood by the piano stroking the smooth, cold black top, I took a deep breath and announced, “By the end of the year, I’m resigning myself from the band.”

At that announcement, the boys looked at me in shock.

“But until then, I’m not going to be what the press will refer to me as in the future. The “female shadow”, the “Forgotten Queen of Queen”. No, I decide who I am. And I’m going to go out being what I was born to be. A pianist, who deserves to be amongst the greatest piano players in history. Beethoven and Mozart, those classical bitches haven’t got a thing on me. (Y/n) (m/n) May.”

My boys looked at me with sad smiles, eyes of amazement and gentle nods.

“You’re the true queen of Queen (y/n).” said Roger softly.  I smiled and lowered my head and said.

“You’re damn right I am. We’re all queens. But you’re right, I am the true queen out of all of us.” The boys softly laughed and I told them.

“Now you all just give me time to get these bitchy little wrists back into shape, and we’ll make sure that any other tour you four will continue on in the future, won’t compare to the one we’ll give them in just three days.” They all nodded.

I walked towards them and we all got into a group hug and couldn’t help myself.

“And even though you four are crying like little girl scouts, I still love you boys.”

“Alright enough of this!” Proclaimed Freddie.  It was then they tried to re-masculate themselves up by talking about how many drinks they were gonna get.  I then cried out to them that there was nothing wrong with being sensitive but they elected to ignore what I was saying and tried to be “real men again”.

That night as I was getting into bed, I stared at my left wrist brace and sighed solemnly when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me.  A mess of soft curls tickled my neck as I felt kisses going up my neck.

“Have you taken your pills for tonight darling?” Brian asked.

“Yes mum.” I teased him.  I turned to face him and he looked down at me solemnly.  I looked up at him and said, “I thought I said I didn’t want to see any frowning about this?”

“I know I’m sorry. I just—I just wish I could take this pain away from you. I’m your husband, I’m supposed to protect you from everything.”

“You know I can take care of myself.”

“I know. But still I wish I had seen the signs. I could’ve….”

“Brian, none of this was your fault. You didn’t give this to me, things like this just—happen. And I wish it didn’t happen to me, but I pushed myself too far to achieve the dream and now I’m paying the price for it. The only one who should be blamed is me.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb and I leaned into his palm.

“You don’t have to be strong right now.” He whispered.  I looked up at him and just one look into those blue eyes broke me.  Tears ran down my face and Brian pulled me close to him and for the first time since my CTS diagnoses, I finally released all the anger, pain, heartbreak and sorrow I had built inside of myself.

I maybe acting crazy right now, and you all maybe thinking why go back and forth between acting so strong and talking so big, to breaking down like a child in my husband’s arms.

Well I’m finally in the prime of my life of a successful career, I’ve finally reached my dream of becoming a kickass pianist for the hottest band in the world.  But now it all came crashing down with this diagnosis and because of my arrogance and ignorance, I’ve costed myself this dream.

And to a pianist not being able to play the instrument they were born to play, that’s a fate worse than death.

Brian spoke not a word because at this point no words could heal the anguish that I was feeling inside at this very moment.  All he did was hold me as tight as he could, allowing me to release my pain in any way that I wanted to.  Eventually I had managed to vent myself out to the point of exhaustion.

Brian adjusted himself on the bed but not once broke his embrace on me.  He stroked my hair and I felt a kiss at the crown of my head and the last thing I heard him say before I fell asleep.

“You’re a fighter my love, my proud fighter.”

The tour in America continued as planned.  When it came time for the concerts, Fred actually sat beside me and the two of us would play a song together and if a pain flare grew too much for my braces, then I would stop and allow Freddie to continue, and when I felt lime it I’d come back and he’d back off and go back to doing his thing on stage.

In a way it worked out wonderfully, almost like it was a complete rehearsed tid-bit of us playing together then allowing one or the other to play solo before coming back as a duet.

All too soon, the year was coming to an end and not only that but it was also the end of another decade.  The 70’s after tonight would forever be behind us leading us into the 1980’s and god knows what was going to happen then.

I was currently sitting down with Miami as well as mine and Brian’s personal lawyer.  I had officially agreed to give a public statement of my condition to the public just so that way everyone knows about my CTS and the press don’t make up some bullshit story of me causing drama for the band just because I’ve decided to call it quits.

“Okay so Mrs. May you have officially agreed to point out that ‘I (Y/n) May have chosen to resign myself from the band Queen due to medical reasons. I wish to bring up the fact that I have been diagnosed with Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and that is my sole reason for leaving the band’ is that correct?”

“Yes Graham, that is correct.”

“You also wish to ‘ensure that this has nothing to do with creative differenced. This is solely for my health and for the benefit of the band.’”

“Yes.” I answered bluntly as I rubbed my right wrist. He wrote down a few more things and he said as he closed up his file.

“Okay, that’s that. This will be released to the press first thing in the morning.” I didn’t speak another word to him as he left leaving me and Miami alone.

“You sure about this love?” he asked me.

“If I keep pushing myself at this rate, I’ll risk an even greater risk of my CTS flares. It’s for the best, and I don’t want to bring Queen down because of it.”

“Okay, we’ll miss you.”

“And I’ll miss you all, promise me you’ll take care of them for me Jim. You know how they can be.”

“You have my word, it’s been an honor seeing you perform (y/n).” He held out his hand and we both shook on it and said.

“Thank you for being probably one of the nicest lawyers we’ve ever had.” It was then I kissed his cheek and hugged him and he instantly hugged me back.  He patted my back and I held him tighter.

And just like Graham said, at the start of the New Year, the news was eating up my departure from Queen like wolves on a carcass. Every single news channel was talking about it, the tabloids blew up pictures of me along with the boys as a ripped up image representing me splitting from the band to make it seem more dramatic than it was.

The paparazzi were circling outside just waiting for me to come out just so they could hound me with questions.  I couldn’t even take my children out to the backyard to play outside or swing on the swings with them without risking them being exposed to the wolves outside.

I heard the door open and quickly shut and heard Brian’s voice say.

“Bloody hell they just don’t know boundaries whatsoever.”

“They never have darling, trust me remember that one bastard who actually managed to cup my arse that one time in Preston?”

“Boy do I. Roger and I nearly killed him right then and there for doing that to you.” He closed the blinds and sighed exasperatedly as he sat down beside me on the couch.

“Do you think I did the right thing?” I asked. Brian looked at me and I continued, “Releasing my leaving to the public? Did I do the right thing?”

“You did what you felt was right darling, it’s better they know it’s for a medical reason rather than whatever bullshit drama they can think of.”

“But I feel like I’m just causing more drama for you and the boys. I never wanted that to happen, I mean some of the tabloids are saying that I left because of my ‘womanly drama’ what the fuck is wrong with them?!”

“I wish I knew but (y/n) look at me,” I turned to him and I felt him grip my hands tightly yet lovingly in both of his and felt his thumbs stroke the back of my hands and along my wrists as he said, “Just know that the lads and I know the real truth. That we first heard it from you first about all this instead of reading about it in the tabloids. And fuck what some of them are writing, fuck them. Because they don’t know what you’re going through right now. But I do, so does Deacy, Roger, Freddie, your family. And that’s enough.”

“How did I ever deserve you Brian Harold May?” I asked. He smiled and pressed his forehead against mine as he said.

“Actually it’s the other way around my love.” I smiled as he brought his nose against mine and we Eskimo kissed before doing our little penguin nuzzle.  He then kissed my forehead and for the rest of the morning we just cuddled on the couch.

Later that day it was almost sunset and I was just setting Jimmy down for bed when I decided to just sit around and wait for Brian to return back from the studio.  I tried to find something to watch but all I could see was my face up on almost every bloody channel.

So I gave up on TV and just settled for a movie instead, I popped in Star Wars when I heard the door open and I heard Roger’s as well as Freddie’s voice.

“My lovely darling!” Freddie’s voice cried out. I shushed him and said.

“Fred I just put Jimmy and Chloe to bed.”

“Oh sorry dear, hope I didn’t wake the mini penguins.” He apologized. I rolled my eyes and that’s when I noticed the presents, in Freddie and Roger’s hands, a cake in Deacy’s and a bottle of champagne in Brian’s.

“What’s all this?”

“Well we’ve talked it over at the studio today and we felt like we needed to properly give our true queen of Queen a farewell party. Just to make sure she is never forgotten by the band, nor will she ever be forgotten.” Said Roger.

“So we cut rehearsal time today and we went out and got you these,” Freddie said as he gestured to all the things they bought.

“We tried baking a cake but we should’ve known that you are the true baker of the band, so we had to resort to a store bought cake.” Said Deacy.

“Awww you guys…..I can’t believe you would do this for me.”

“Better believe it darling. Though we still expect to see you at some rehearsals, still go to our concerts to support us and weekly updates on your recovery.” Fred said as he came up and wrapped an arm around my shoulders bringing me close to him.

“When I can find time in my busy schedule, you’ve got yourself a deal Mr. Mercury.” He gave me a one armed hug and kissed my temple and soon the celebration began.

The whole night was spent drinking, chatting and I was given special gifts from the guys.  Freddie had bought me a new jacket he had seen at the store and thought one person had to have it, Roger gave me the new David Bowie vinyl that I have had my eye on but never had the time to buy it, Deacy got me the new Elton John vinyl and he even got to have it signed by Elton himself.  It read.

My lovely (y/n),

Even though your CTS has stopped you in your tracks, never lose that passion for music. You are a firecracker and a worthy apprentice. Thank you for all that you’ve taught me and may our paths cross again soon.

Love and kisses,

Elton.

I got a little tear eyed and made a note to myself to give Elton a call later and tell him thank you for the lovely message. And Brian my ever so lovely spoiling husband gifted me with a brand new necklace with matching set earrings.  He also promised me another gift but that was for after the boys left to which the guys all gagged and mocked Brian.

I wiped away a tear falling down my face and that’s when Deacy noticed and said.

“What’s wrong (n/n)?” The guys turned their attention to me and I sniffled and said.

“Nothing. It’s just….I love you guys so much, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” They all awed at me and brought me in the middle of a group hug and that’s when Brian said.

“Better get used to it love, because even though you’re leaving the band, you’ll always be stuck with us.”

“I can live with that.” I chuckled as the guys hugged me tighter.

My name is (Y/n) May, from 1968-1979 I was a rock star.  In 1970 I became the pianist and keyboardist for a group that changed from Smile to Queen all thanks to Freddie Mercury.  Through Queen I wrote many great hit songs;

Keep yourself alive (co-written with Brian May)

March of the Black Queen

Killer Queen (music by me, lyrics by Freddie)

We will rock you

Somebody to Love

It was also through Queen that I met the love of my life and the father of my children.  It was through Queen I got to confess my love to Brian and thanks to that, I will teach my legacy to my children.

For I maybe gone from the band, but I know I will never be forgotten.  The true queen of Queen.

#bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody x reader #brian may #brian may x reader #gwilym lee #gwilym lee!brian may x reader #gwilym lee!brian may #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee!brian may imagine #queen fanfiction #queen imagine #queen #queen imagines #brian may x reader fluff

[bbclesmis]

Lily Collins on overshadowing dad Phil, beating anorexia and starring in the BBC's Les Misérables

As one of the defining voices of the 1980s and a man who remains one of the world’s bestselling artists, it would have been easy for Collins to overshadow his multitalented daughter’s success. Certainly, when I first interviewed Lily five years ago for the romcom Love, Rosie, she was still being defined not just by her famous father, but the Audrey Hepburn-esque looks that had won her modelling contracts as a teenager living in LA.

Since we last saw each other, Lily has redefined herself on her own terms. And when UK audiences are treated to her nuanced, poignant portrayal of Cosette’s desperate mother, Fantine, in the lavish new six-part BBC adaptation of Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables, they won’t see Phil Collins’s daughter but a remarkable British-born talent at the top of her game.

‘I had a few friends in the musical version, and I was so keen to play this part in what’s a very different adaptation,’ says Lily of the role that won Anne Hathaway an Oscar – a role she begged producers to be allowed to audition for, so desperate was she to be involved.

That the director, Tom Shankland, had decided against his being a musical adaptation meant the all-star cast – including Dominic West as Jean Valjean, David Oyelowo as Javert and Olivia Colman as Madame Thénardier – were able to return to Hugo’s original characters, she says. ‘And getting to work through the whole arc of Fantine’s life was incredible. Although in fact the death scene was filmed on day two,’ she adds with a side smile. ‘So it was a case of, “Hi, nice to meet you – I’m about to die”.’

Crushed and betrayed by a pitiless society that demands the most from those to whom it gives the least, Fantine’s character is emblematic of so much. During the six-month shoot in Belgium and northern France, Lily found filming in minus-13C Brussels gruelling (‘I grew up in England, so I should know about cold – but this was something else’), but says it helped put her in the right state of mind.

‘My lips started to go blue and I began to shake. Even in my breaks I wouldn’t keep my jacket on for too long because I had to be at a level of discomfort that I hadn’t experienced before.’ And when a degraded and desperate Fantine is dragged through the snow wearing minimal clothing, ‘I was able to let go and be that vulnerable. It’s those parts that are the most fulfilling: that’s when you can see what you’re made of.’

Lily’s early roles were hardly inconsequential. She starred alongside Sandra Bullock in the Oscar-winning 2009 film The Blind Side, and with Julia Roberts in Mirror Mirror in 2012. But it wasn’t until 2013 with her portrayal of Clary Fray in the film adaptation of Cassandra Clare’s bestselling cult fantasy series The Mortal Instruments that Lily seemed to come into her own.

There was a concerted move towards tragic, multi-layered heroines like heartbroken Cecilia Brady in Amazon Prime’s The Last Tycoon in 2016, and recovering anorexic Ellen in Marti Noxon’s To the Bone the following year, and I wonder whether it was the writing of her startlingly honest 2017 memoir, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me, that marked the start of Lily’s real evolution.

Five years ago a sweet, wholesome and reticent young woman in dungarees and Dr Martens boots had assured me that prudence had ‘always been my natural feeling’. And yet, outing herself as someone real and flawed in her memoir – someone who had suffered from a debilitating eating disorder as well as self-confidence and relationship issues – was anything but prudent. ‘Writing the book helped me let go of things I was holding on to emotionally,’ Lily says. ‘And in order to take on the baggage of the characters that I wanted to play I had to let go of my own.’

That she chose to play a recovering anorexic in To the Bone the same year she’d detailed her own illness in such detail – the diet-pill and laxative addiction, the bingeing and purging that started at the age of 16 and went on into her 20s – could be seen as brave, foolhardy or both. But her parents (Lily’s mum is American socialite Jill Tavelman) didn’t try to stop her, she says. ‘In fact, they were more like, “Wow, you’re writing a book!” And it turned out to be a form of therapy,’ she insists.

‘Luckily, we shot To the Bone in LA, I worked with a nutritionist to prepare for the part responsibly, and my mum was on set with me, so it was a way for me to harness something that had truly controlled my life for such a long time. Being able to turn the tables and really have control was amazing. Finally I could say to myself: “I am living my life and this is not going to be a part of my story from now on.” I’ll be 30 in March and I’m so glad that I dealt with these things in my 20s, because now I can get excited about what’s to come.’

As part of her research she went to an Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous group, and an LA clinic for eating disorders, ‘where they gave me a lot of the factual information to understand the basics of the disorder’. Does she feel her illness is firmly behind her now – or is it important to remain vigilant? ‘Well it’s never going to be erased because it’s part of who you are, but it doesn’t define how I live my life daily any more,’ she says. ‘When I was going through it, I couldn’t imagine there being a day when I didn’t think about it. So really it’s about seeing myself as a priority.’

She’s in no doubt that doing To the Bone and Unfiltered in the same year was worth it in terms of getting the message out there. ‘We’re all flawed,’ she shrugs. ‘Giving a loud voice to a subject that people are often very ashamed of really inspired me to pour myself into characters that have something to say.’

Her accent may be pure La-La Land, but Lily’s got British steel, our madcap sense of humour – and a love of Topshop. And when she lands at Heathrow and drives out into the country towards her father’s Surrey home, ‘That’s when I feel most myself,’ she says. And yet only-child Lily was just five when her mother moved them back to California, where she was from, and away from the very public fallout of her and Collins’s divorce.

It was the musician’s second marital break-up and the press feasted on every acrimonious detail of the split, from the fax her father reportedly sent Tavelman terminating their 10-year marriage (he denied it) to the reported £17 million he was forced to pay out. But although Lily admits in her book that there was ‘anger’ towards her father and a ‘terrible disconnect’ between them in the subsequent period – Collins went on to marry Swiss translator Orianne Cevey, 20 years his junior, in 1999, whom he later divorced and remarried – she is now very close to the 67-year-old and her four half-siblings. Two of them, Simon and Joely (whose mother is Collins’s first wife, Andrea Bertorelli) live in Canada, and two, Nicholas and Matthew (sons of Orianne), in Geneva, but the family all assembled in London for their father’s 60th birthday.

Lily remembers the advice Phil gave her when she started out: ‘For every positive review you read you’ll probably find two negative ones, so if you’re proud of something, don’t let anyone take that away.

‘And it’s true that being proud of the work matters more than anything,’ she says, adding that growing up immersed in the industry allowed her to ‘see the pros and the cons of it all and really understand what happens when you decide you’re going to be in the public eye. Because of that I feel like I already have this armour built in, which I can use at any moment.’

The armour went on when I asked about her ex-boyfriend, actor Jamie Campbell Bower, and an alleged fling with Zac Efron five years ago – and she’s not about to tell me who she’s dating now. But as well as her book, Instagram – on which Lily has almost 12 million followers – has opened her up in other ways. ‘I used to be quite anti social media,’ she says. ‘But after the book I found that this hugely supportive community was forming around the world.’ Anyone who assumed that the gorgeous LA actress whose circle of friends includes the actors Eddie Redmayne, Jaime Winstone and Sam Claflin couldn’t connect with ordinary people, ‘I wanted to prove wrong,’ she says.

Instagram has also proved to be a great platform for Lily to showcase her love of fashion and photography. The Dr Martens are now long gone and today she loves mixing up pieces by Givenchy, Miu Miu and Chanel with vintage brands and high-street finds. ‘In Brussels there were so many amazing vintage shops,’ she says. ‘I found some incredible old adidas and Fila jackets. But I’m constantly changing when it comes to fashion.’

Many of these experiments have been exhaustively covered by the fashion bloggers who dissect paparazzi pictures of Lily out and about in LA, where she lives – ‘which can be frustrating when I’m just going to the gym’, but is an inevitable part of any coverage involving red carpets.

Asked whether she minds the ‘Who are you wearing?’ question that many A-listers have railed against post #AskHerMore, she deliberates for a moment. ‘Well, I like to give credit where credit’s due, and if I’m wearing something a designer has created, they deserve the credit. One hopes there’s going to be more than one question – and if it is just the one, I’d rather be asked what I’m doing there.’

To see how quickly her industry has changed since #MeToo went viral just over a year ago has been fascinating, she says. ‘And I feel very fortunate that the films I’ve been in have always involved very strong independent women – whether it’s Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock,Julianne Moore, Annette Bening or Jennifer Connelly: they all took me under their wing.’

Watching #MeToo filter down into other industries has been one of the most wondrous things about it, she enthuses. ‘But whereas this year has been about trying to level the playing field, I keep hoping that one day we won’t have to start conversations with, “Well, it’s great because she’s a woman…”’

In her next big screen role, Lily will star as Edith Tolkien – the wife and muse of Lord of the Rings creator JRR Tolkien – opposite Nicholas Hoult in Dome Karukoski’s biopic, Tolkien. ‘And what an amazing experience to shoot in Liverpool with someone like Nicholas, and be able to play a character that really inspired a series of stories I grew up loving.’ But prior to that, and also due out next year – she filmed Joe Berlinger’s Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, in which she plays the long-term girlfriend of mass-murderer Ted Bundy, Elizabeth Kloepfer – with whom she spent time.

‘The preparation to that – and meeting Elizabeth and her daughter – was so unsettling that I kept being woken up by all these images,’ she says. ‘And I had tried not to read the harshest and most visceral information out there because in truth my character didn’t know anything, and the story is from her perspective. But it’s such a fascinating story – and in the end storytelling is what connects us all.’

Les Misérables begins on 30 December at 9pm on BBC One (x)

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