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i-believe-in-soriku · 4 years

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Essay Part 1: Riku’s Journey

Riku is undeniably the character who has experienced the greatest evolution throughout the series.

His journey begins in Destiny Islands, when he was just a little kid who wanted to live adventures with his best friend, Sora.

Riku: When we grow up, let's get off this island. We'll go on real adventures, not this kid stuff!

That's that will of discovering the world, and the fact that he was really close to his friend Sora, that lead him to make a promise:

Terra: Is there some reason you're interested in the outside world?

Riku: Yeah. I wanna be strong one day. Like that kid who left. He went to the outside world - I bet he's really strong now. I know it's out there somewhere - the strength that I need.

Terra: Strength for what?

Riku: To protect the things that matter. You know, like my friends.

Riku had a very strong friendship with Sora. The two of them used to fight with wooden swords, explore the islands, and watch the stars together. But then, Kairi came to the Islands and became part of their life. Years passed and their friendship became stronger - but somehow something was missing.

That's when Kingdom Hearts happens. At this time, Riku wanted to explore the other worlds, feeling trapped on Destiny Islands - will he had already expressed ten years before. Riku was jealous of Sora, and probably of Kairi and Sora's growing proximity. Riku felt lonely, as we can see during the game. These dark feelings caused him to be manipulated by Maleficent, and to turn to darkness.

There are also other reasons: he wanted to see the world - which he already wanted as a five years old kid-, he wanted to become stronger in order to protect his friends - even if he did it the wrong way, he didn't forget that goal, as proved by this scene:

Riku: So, Kairi's like a lifeless puppet now?

Maleficent: Precisely.

Riku: And her heart was...

Maleficent: Taken by the Heartless, no doubt.

Riku: Tell me! What can I do?

Maleficent, as the evil witch she is, manipulated him strengthening his feelings of loneliness, jealousy and betrayal.

Maleficent: You see? It's just as I told you. While you toiled away trying to find your dear friend, he quite simply replaced you with some new companions. Evidently, he values them far more than he does you. You're better off without that wretched boy. Now, think no more of him, and come with me. I'll help you find what you're searching for.

Ansem, on his side, pretended he knew the way to make him stronger, as Riku was jealous of Sora's strength...

Ansem: The heart that is strong and true shall win the Keyblade.

Riku: What? You're saying my heart's weaker than his?

Ansem: For that instant, it was. However, you can become stronger. You should not fear in stepping through the door to darkness. It held no terror for you. Plunger deeper into the darkness and your heart will grow even stronger.

Riku: What should I do?

Ansem: It's really quite simple. Open yourself to the darkness. That is all. Let your heart, your being, become darkness itself.

... but he used him as a puppet to achieve his goals. The way he asked advices to bad people shows how lost that boy was. However, Riku finished by regain control of himself, and at the end of the game, decided to help Mickey close the Door to Darkness, even if it meant being somehow left behind - a beautiful act of redemption.

But that's only the begining of his story. In Chain of Memories, we follow Riku who has to fight his own darkness, embodied by Ansem (and also Repliku who mocks his fear of darkness). At first, Riku totaly rejects the darkness inside of him, afraid that it might overpower him once again.

Riku: All you have been talking about is the darkness. I can only assume you wanna pull me back in... so you can play Puppet Master.

And he doesn't want to hurt people like he did.

But we can see that he's becoming more and more mature, because this game is also about how Riku began to accept the part of darkness inside him as a strength (and I think Mickey helped him to do that). That's what makes him choose the way to Dawn.

Riku: What are you making me choose now?

DiZ: Between the road to light - and the road to darkness.

Riku: Neither suits me. I'm taking the middle road.

DiZ: Do you mean the twilight road to nightfall?

Riku: No. It's the road to dawn.

During 358/2 Days, Riku's will is to make sure that his best friend sleeps in peace - actually, he wants him to recover his memories and wake up. He teams up with Mickey and DiZ/Ansem the Wise to do so. In this game, Riku embraces the darkness in his heart while fighting Roxas...

Riku: I have to release the power in my heart- the dark power that I've been holding back. Even... if it changes me forever.

...a sacrifice made even though he's aware he may not find his own body anymore - which illustrates how Riku has finally accepted that darkness isn't 100% evil. We can also see that he's no longer bitter towards others: he's not even angry against Sora's Nobodies for keeping him away from his friend - just sad.

Xion: So, do you hate me for taking your friend away?

Riku: Nah. I guess... I'm just sad.

Still, in KH2, Riku is ashamed by his appearence and hides himself from Sora, even though he keeps on protecting him at distance. When they finally meet again, he tells this shame calling himself "a castaway from the darkness":

Riku: I'm no one---just a castaway from the darkness.

But he recovers his true self.

KH2 insists on the fact that despite a clear maturation, Riku still has doubts and still feel a little bit lonely. Sora points at:

Sora: Riku... C'mon, man! Why did you try to do so much on your own?You got friends...like us!

He still needs his friends to reassure him and accept him, and still thinks he can't get rid of his own darkness - his shame is still here:

Sora: You're coming back with us, right?

Riku: I had given in to the darkness.

Sora: Riku!

Riku: How'm I gonna face everyone?

Dream Drop Distance is a turning point to Riku's character. During the game, it is underlined that Riku is holding back some stuff inside of him, by four characters including himself.

Riku (to Quasi): Are you sure that's what's stopping you? Because I think something else is holding you back. Ask your heart, Quasimodo. [...] Wish I could take my own advice.

And:

Quasimodo: Master Frollo--he made me live inside the bell tower, but the real walls were the ones I built around my heart. You helped me see that, Riku.

Riku: I was...speaking from...personal experience.

Phoebus: I'd say you still keep a lot locked inside.

He also admits that he feels like his darkness will always follow him:

Riku: I gave in to the darkness once. And ever since, it's chased me around in one form or another.

But the end of the game proves that Riku has achieved a balance (a confidence that we can see in KH3).

Indeed, during the last parts of 3D, Riku is shown as a being of exception, whom heart has light and darkness in balance...

YMX: I don't know how you did it, but you really have found a way to trap darkness inside your heart

...balance which enables him to protect Sora, becoming his Dream Eater - he is able to change his very NATURE and didn't even noticed it.

Riku finally obtains the title of Keyblade Master showing that he is worthy of wielding a Keyblade - which he seemed to doubt at the beginning of the game:

Riku: My Keyblade--it just sort of...popped into my hand when I needed it most.

He has learned how to open his heart throughout his adventures, which can be seen in KH3.

In KH3 his new goals are to save Aqua and, with the others, fight the Seekers of Darkness. During the road, Mickey helps him to realize that he finally has the strenght he was aiming at since the very beginning: to protect the one person that matters.

Riku: I'm in control now. Maybe it's because you're with me this time.

Mickey: It's not me. I think it's because you've finally found inside you that special strength to protect what matters.

And the game lets no doubt: this person is Sora. He sacrifices himself to protect his friend against the Demon Tide in the Keyblade Graveyard.

This is a very brief summary of everything Riku did, but that's enought to come to a conclusion. If you have read carefully, you should have noticed that I didn't spoke about Sora that much. Because, even if Sora is actually what matters the most to Riku, the main reason why he did all those things, Sora is not what defines Riku.

Riku has a developpement that shows that he has to fight his own demons, overcomes his doubts and searches the strenght to protect who he cares about. He has other relationships than his (wonderful) relationship with Sora: for example, his friendship with Mickey.

He faced many things with the King and they share a special bond, just as Sora's with Donald and Goofy. He also shares a link with Terra and somehow Aqua, even though it's not developped that much.

Regarding of those elements, it is completely unfair to say that Riku isn't well written or too much written around Sora. Riku is interesting, relatable and touching, and I hope that he's going to have a good treatment in the future of the series. Watching the end of KH3 and Re:Mind, there's no doubt about the fact that he has an important role to play.

I want to close this part saying that Riku also has a personality. He's determined, selfless, mature, of good advice, a little bit sassy. Riku, even if he has doubts, can be now considered as confident. He is empathetic, cares about others, knows how to confort his friends, especially Sora. There are other important points - like the fact he's smart ~ but I think those are the main elements.

Intro • Part 2

#kh #kingdom hearts #riku #riku kh #kh riku #riku kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts riku #character analysis #essay #analysis #kh analysis #kingdom hearts analysis #my essay #first essay #character growth #writing #my thoughts #thoughts

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violethowler · 4 years

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Ride of the Valkyrie

I delayed the second of my “Kingdom Hearts and the Heroine’s Journey” essays because in light of current events last week didn’t feel like an appropriate time to post it. In that additional time, we’ve gotten new screenshots and character information about Dark Road and the new characters that actually has some connection to what I’m talking about in this piece. So now that I’ve made a few adjustments, I present my analysis of Yozora’s role in the Heroine’s Journey below the cut.

Since the release of Kingdom Hearts III, there has been a lot of speculation about Yozora and what role he plays within the series going forward. Some say that the series is going to use the Versus XIII elements represented by Verum Rex to deconstruct and comment on the nature of the Kingdom Hearts story and universe. Others say that he’s a fusion of Sora and Riku. But all of the speculation I’ve seen surrounding Yozora has been exclusively focused on how he fits into the story in terms of lore and worldbuilding, without actually looking at the structure of the series’ narrative.

Granted not everyone knows about the Heroine’s Journey or recognizes that the plot of Kingdom Hearts is following it with regard to Sora’s growth. However, Sora’s fading at the end of Kingdom Hearts III clearly represents his death in the metaphorical sense, even if we’re not completely sure yet whether he died in the literal sense. The fact that the scenery associated with Yozora is Shibuya only serves to hammer this point home.

Because of the Kingdom Hearts III secret ending’s focus on Sora and Riku, parts of the fandom have affectionately labeled the game being foreshadowed by this scene by the informal name “DDD2”, in reference to the Dream Eater logo on the sidewalk in one of Riku’s shots framing the KH3 secret ending which suggested that the next game would function as a pseudo-sequel to Dream Drop Distance. Instead of Final Fantasy characters, the original Dream Drop Distance introduced the cast of the 2007 Square Enix game The World Ends With You, in which dead teenagers compete for a second chance at life in a plane of reality that runs parallel to Shibuya. At the end of their interactions in Dream Drop Distance, Sora promised to come visit Neku and the gang in Shibuya at a later date.[1]

The secret ending of KH3 depicts Sora, Riku, Yozora, and the Master of Masters in Shibuya, with Sora last seen standing at the Scramble Crossing, where the story of The World Ends With You begins. This same secret ending also depicts a building labeled 104, which Sora and Yozora fight on top of in the DLC Secret Episode. The 104 is TWEWY’s fictional representation of the real-life 109 building, and is a prominent recurring location in that game. The use of TWEWY’s most recognizable locations means that even if this isn’t necessarily the same version of Shibuya that Neku and co. hail from[2], the audience has already been primed to associate this city with death and the afterlife.

Since the DLC Secret Episode seems to indicate that Yozora has something to do with how Sora ended up in Shibuya, it’s clear what role Yozora plays within this upcoming chapter of Kingdom Hearts. Whatever the actual deal with him is regarding the series’ lore, in terms of Sora’s journey, Yozora is a Psychopomp.

For those unfamiliar with the term, a psychopomp is a figure from folklore, legends, and myth whose job is to guide the souls of the dead to the afterlife[3]:

In Egyptian mythology, one of Anubis’ roles is to lead the souls of the dead from the world of the living to the entrance of the afterlife.

In Greek mythology, that role is filled by Hermes and Hecate, while Charon ferries souls from the entrance to the Underworld across the River Styx into the realm of the dead proper.

And in Norse mythology - which Kingdom Hearts is going to be drawing from to a significant degree in future games if the new characters announced for Dark Road after I decided to delay this essay are any indication - has the Valkyries, who carry the souls of warriors who die in battle to the afterlife. One notable Valkyrie was Skuld[4], one of the three Norns who decide people’s fates.

Though not a goddess, the Skuld of Kingdom Hearts is thematically associated with the role of her mythological namesake when she appears at the end of the original X browser game alongside Ephemer to bring the dying player character into the data world with the rest of the Dandelions.

Meanwhile, in the DLC Secret Episode for Kingdom Hearts III, Yozora displays abilities related to data and he seems to be able to manipulate the Final World, a place inhabited by the spirits of the dead who have not moved on from the world of the living.

So even if one is unfamiliar with the full development history behind Final Fantasy Versus XIII and the significance of what Verum Rex represents in that context, the Secret Ending and Secret Episode of Kingdom Hearts III visually and thematically associate Yozora with death, the afterlife, and resurrection.

The original backstory of Final Fantasy Versus XIII implies that this mythological role was even part of the concept for Noctis/Yozora from the beginning of Versus XIII’s conception. According to the early information about Versus XIII and its lore, those who have near death experiences could see the souls of the dead ascending into the afterlife and gained powers derived from The Kingdom of the Dead[5]. This concept was scrapped when Versus XIII was overhauled into Final Fantasy XV, but if Nomura felt so strongly about the original Versus XIII concept that he incorporated overt references to it into Kingdom Hearts, then the pre-overhaul lore should be taken into account when speculating on Yozora’s role in the overarching narrative.

As I mentioned in “The Heroine’s Journey of Sora”, the Secret Ending of Kingdom Hearts III is setting up the “Initiation and Descent” stage of Murdock’s monomyth. In this stage of their journey, the protagonist can sometimes be accompanied by a psychopomp figure who serves as a guide through their Descent. The psychopomp’s words, actions, and presence provide the spark that the main character needs in order to realize the lesson that they must learn in order to complete the final phase of their journey.

While I have only seen a few instance of these psychopomp figures in a Heroine’s Journey story, the ones I have seen taken on one of the following forms:

A dark reflection of the main character.

A parental figure

A distorted version of the protagonist’s Animus.

As I mentioned in “The Heroine’s Journey of Sora”, Riku is the one character in the series who meets the qualifications to serve as an Animus figure. And as Kingdom Hearts III notes, Yozora bears a strong resemblance to Riku, a connection which is emphasized by one of the Kingstagram posts in the game (an emphasis which was unfortunately lacking in the English localization) as well as the novel adaptation.

While we still do not have enough information to divine precisely how Yozora and Verum Rex fit into the cosmology and lore of the Kingdom Hearts universe, there is still enough to determine his function within the framework of the Heroine’s Journey that Sora is on. Based on the connections to The World Ends With You, the origins Versus XIII lore, the structure of the Heroine’s Journey, and parallels with the Kingdom Hearts series’ previous references to mythology, Yozora is a psychopomp figure who will guide Sora one way or another through his Descent into the underworld.

Sources:

[1] Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. Square Enix, 2012.

[2] Kingdom Hearts 3 Ultimania - Main Nomura Interview Translated; March 12, 2019. https://www.khinsider.com/news/Kingdom-Hearts-3-Ultimania-Main-Nomura-Interview-Translated-14763

[3] Psychopomp - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychopomp

[4] Skuld - Wikipedia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skuld

[5] Final Fantasy Versus XIII - Final Fantasy Wiki https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Versus_XIII

#kingdom hearts and the heroine's journey #kingdom hearts meta #kh yozora #kh3 spoilers #kh3 remind spoilers #limit cut spoilers

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aliceslantern · 4 years

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Beyond this Existence: Atonement, chapter 11

Ansem always had a penchant for strays, so it's not at all surprising when he takes in the orphaned child Ienzo. The boy's presence changes everything, far more than Even is willing to admit. Ienzo's brilliance seems promising, but the arrival of a young Xehanort pushes the apprentices onto a dark, cruel, inhumane path which will affect the future of the World. And even once it's all over with--once Xehanort is dead--they still must pick up the pieces, forgive one another, find a way to atone for their atrocities, and struggle to accept the humanity which has been thrust upon them.

Or: Even's journey from BBS through post-KH3

Chapter summary: Despite Even's efforts, Ienzo makes a choice which ripples across the castle.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

His peace, incredibly tenuous, does not last long.

He receives a call midmorning the next day, from Ienzo. “Even. I need help.” His voice sounds shattered.

“Whatever is the matter?”

“It’s Demyx--”

Even takes a quick breath. “Is he hurt?” He seems to have recovered from that wound, but that means nothing.

Ienzo’s voice is full of glass. “Not physically.”

Oh. Of course. Now that they’re bonded… he may have very well become fully human. And his memories were only a hair’s breadth away. “I think I understand. I’m on my way.” He goes to his lab, grabs a few different things which may be of help.

He finds them in the study room which seems to be their favorite haunt. Despite himself, he feels a concern for the boy--is it for what this implies about his own wellbeing?

“What is it? What’s happened?”

Ienzo has the boy on the ground. The boy’s face is contorted in pain; he’s breathing hard and twitching a little. Ienzo’s face is drawn. “I’m not really sure--he--this score… he insisted it was his, and then he went into this weird trance, and I think he’s remembering something . Even, I don’t know.”

Even catches sight of this supposed score. At a glance, he can tell it’s ancient; much like the young man on the floor. He crouches next to him and begins checking his vitals. The boy’s heart is positively racing. The blood loss was really hard on his heart. “He’s clearly in pain, and cannot maintain a heart rate that high for very long.” He sedates the boy, and finally Demyx settles into it, his expression slackening, his heart rate beginning to lower to something livable.

The boy’s memories must be coming back. The score was a trigger. If he is as emotionally fragile as Even--and is reliving all that war trauma--he might not pull through, his new heart might break.

“You know what this is, don’t you?” Ienzo asks.

He looks back at the score again. It doesn’t surprise him Demyx hasn’t told Ienzo. Where to even begin? Then again, does Ienzo need to deal with yet more lies of omission? “It was not my secret to share.”

“Even,” Ienzo says, his voice sharp and, if he’s reading this right, afraid.

“Xehanort had more than one trump card up his sleeve.” He sighs.“Didn’t you find it strange how we all arrived in groups? Us apprentices with Lea and Isa, and then the four neophytes. There was some degree of time between each arrival, but not nearly enough to justify what were were told. If we were to believe it, that humanoid Nobodies were rare, shouldn’t it have taken a lot longer to find the original thirteen?” He brushes his hair out of his face. “I’m not sure how exactly, but Xehanort pulled four Keyblade wielders from the age of fairy tales and made them Nobodies. Obfuscated their memories too, from the looks of things. I have no idea why it is he did this. But Xemnas told them at some point before the war, and Demyx asked me to investigate. I’m guessing this connection between you two only furthered his progress to humanity, and that when presented with a trigger, the memories came back.”

Ienzo looks down at him, his expression pinched. “So it’s true then.”

Even nods. “...Yes. It’s true. I’ve studied his DNA myself. You positively would not believe it, Ienzo--”

Something like hurt crosses his face. “And you didn’t think it prudent to ever mention this to me?”

“Would it have changed your mind?”

He drops his eyes. “No.”

“Precisely. I assure you he hasn’t experienced that passage of time.”

“...He said he’d remembered something from his past. I did not think it was this. So that means he’s really a--” He bites his lip.

“Yes.” He smiles sadly. “I worked so hard to make replicas who could wield Keyblades, and we had four wielders right under our noses.”

“But will he be all right?”

No point lying any longer. “Hard to say. All of those memories, some doubtless very gruesome and traumatic, his heart just healing… we must be patient.”

Again, they maneuver him to his bed, as gently as possible. Even starts him on fluids, another dose of the sedative. They can’t afford to have his heart rate spike. In all this, and despite his own nursing training, Ienzo doesn’t help; his expression is empty, horrified. He’s crying, though soundlessly. Even takes him away, makes him drink some tea.

“It is… a lot to process,” Even says. “But we’ve seen Roxas and Xion in spells like these and they both came out on the other side. Have faith.” He doesn’t mention that the two had considerably fewer memories to recover. This will not help Ienzo. Then again, Even isn’t sure what will.

In a voice that breaks Even’s heart, he asks, “Why is healing so dangerous?”

Question of the century. “It’s only as dangerous as we delude ourselves,” Even says finally. “Unfortunately, the spell he was under was a strong one.”

“Do you think he’ll be different?”

He thinks about it, about Ienzo’s own dramatic transformation once he returned to himself. This gentle boy is nothing like his cruel Nobody; though likely that took, and is taking, work. “Perhaps,” he says. “But no different than you yourself are. But the boy loves you, Ienzo. You can tell by the way he looks at you. I don’t think that will change.”

He drops his eyes. “Is it typical, to feel this amount of shock?”

He reaches out to feel Ienzo’s temperature. Clammy. “Like many such reactions, it’s a stress response.”

He speaks haltingly. “It is so… strange. With all that’s happened in the past month or so, I find myself wondering if it is good to allow such vulnerability.”

This is the most candid Ienzo’s been with him yet, the closest insight Even’s had to his emotions.

The last thing the boy needs is to close himself off more. “I admit the situations have been… extreme.” Even flinches. “But we’ve spent long enough closing our hearts and minds off to others, don’t you think?”

This doesn’t provide the comfort he thought. “You’re one to talk,” he says in a sharp voice. “You’ve been holed up in your lab all day every day, barely speaking to anyone. You seem to be the most hesitant of us all to accept humanity. Atonement aside.”

Thing is, he’s right. “I don’t deny it. But I have not spent my time experimenting.”

“What are you doing, then?” He looks exhausted now.

“Writing. Reflecting, mostly. Things always were the most tangible to me when they were on paper. If I can record my thoughts as data, perhaps I can make sense of them.”

His eyes soften just a little. “Is it working?”

Even can’t believe it; a real conversation. “Heavens, no. But if I do not tread these tides of emotion, then I am more foolish than I thought.”

He cants his head slightly. “What is it you feel?”

“Mostly--remorse--” He admits. He shakes his head. “As scientists, one of our duties is upholding a moral code. Needless to say, we broke it. Xehanort was manipulative, yes, but while you were a child, I was an educated man who should have known better. I did know better. But I figured the gains I made would offset the costs. They have not. And now I want to use my skills for the greater good.” But how?

“Do you think the replicas could have anything to do with that?” He becomes yet more earnest.

He still has those samples needing analysis, sitting quietly in the freezer. “Perhaps. Perhaps not.” But--what right does he have to create life, anymore? Isn’t it unnatural? A query to ponder over later--back to the matter at hand, the real, tangible human sitting across from him. He gathers the rest of his remaining strength and looks Ienzo in the eye. “I must apologize to you, Ienzo.”

He blinks. “Even--”

“We can blame Ansem’s utter lack of paternal instinct all we want, but ultimately it is my fault that this all happened to you.” He thinks of his foolhardy plan to escape; even after that there were opportunities. “I should have understood Xehanort’s machinations and taken you out of that mess, but I was selfishly nearsighted. Things are always clearer in retrospect. Are they not? You deserved a normal childhood, a normal adolescence, and got anything but. And years of fear and trauma on top of it.” Who knew where Ienzo might have gone, otherwise? Without all this holding him back?

The boy exhales. “I forgive you,” he says.

He can’t mean that. There’s no way. But there’s no dishonesty in his face, his body language. A warmth wells in him, something bittersweet. Is it possible to mend their bond? Or is this just another example of Ienzo’s newfound “niceness”? “You’re a kind young man,” Even says. “I will try to make this up to you.” He stands. “I’m off to do some reading. There might be a better way for me to help Demyx after all.” He squeezes the boy’s shoulder.

And retreats to his work.

He wonders if his replicas might be of use once more. The screen seems piercingly bright when he cracks open the laptop.

It’s actually been a while since he’s read the real journals. He starts from the most recent, begins working his way back, skimming over all the biological nonsense, towards the more metaphysical.

There’s a question how to give No. i memories, he reads. It’s going to need them, to carry through--if we hope to make its “heart” worthy of a “Keyblade”, it’s going to need a sense of self, a certain nobility. How to do this while also keeping it under our control?

Oh, Vexen. You naive dunce.

The replica reports aren’t much use. Xion did all the work on her memories herself, almost spontaneously. There has to be something he can do to wavebreak the tide, so to speak; not just for Demyx, but for everyone. He storms to the library, digging for volumes, his hands trembling. In a sort of desperation, he even seeks fairy tales. The boy basically is one. But it’s all magic, and Even has no magic--

He feels helpless. If he fails Demyx, he fails Ienzo. And he can’t do that.

Maybe sleep will give him some clarity?

Some hope.

He’s just drifting when he hears the door creak open. Without thinking, he grabs the scalpel on the table next to him. “Who’s there?” He blinks, his vision focusing. “Oh… Ienzo? Is something wrong? Is it Demyx?”

“No, he’s still stable--it’s fine. It can wait until morning.” His tone is devoid of feeling.

“Clearly not, if you felt the need to come to me at this godforsaken hour. Whatever is the matter?”

He thinks for a moment. Then, “Do you think it’s possible to regain our powers?”

Of course--with Zexion’s power of illusion, and therefore memory, he might be able to shake this horrid spell, or at least find some way to help. But… humans simply aren’t meant to have these powers, otherwise they would’ve had them already, yes? He’s read something about this… he tries to remember. Won’t the use put yet more undue strain on Ienzo’s body? “Why on earth would you want that?”

“Illusion let me see memories. If I can gain control over it, maybe I can help purge the darkness in the basement and help whoever’s stuck down there find peace.” He bites his lip. “Demyx is likely to be shaken up. Perhaps I can help him too. If I can make order of his memories, perhaps he will wake up without too much damage to his heart.”

Naturally Ienzo will be the best one to handle this-- if he can control those powers. But the nature of such power is that it is unnatural. It’s not supposed to exist. In their studies, the calculated entropy alone-- “Have you even tried casting a spell?”

“Once,” Ienzo says. “It… did not go well. I had a terrible migraine. I was wondering if you might have some sort of medicine that might let me work through the pain.”

Even darts over to his bookshelf, seeking a certain volume, finding it finally. “You see… the thing is… such elemental power comes from the will, typically as a manifestation of some psychological trait or another. Hence why, in the absence of a heart, we were able to use it as Nobodies. But now that you are human… you’ve no need for such defense mechanism. Your being is whole. Trying to invoke it could be disastrous. The entropy of it alone would, in the best possible scenario, induce sleep.” His heart and will would fight for control over his body, destabilize him…

“Sleep?” the boy asks.

“Sleep akin to death,” Even says darkly. “They must lie so closely together. And you must hope you find the strength, fast enough, to save your life before you’re claimed by the other side. Ienzo.” His turns towards the boy beseechingly. “Would the risk be worth it? Is there not another way you can atone?”

“What about the reward?” he asks instantly.

“Ienzo--”

“Please, Even. I’ll be careful.” His eyes show that his mind is made up. Regardless of whether or not Even helps him, he’s made his decision.

Even can’t make this boy’s choices for him anymore. If he were ever able to. He crosses over to a cabinet, considers what’s left of his store, what’s still good. He finds one of the only painkillers he has which can also allow the boy to remain lucid. “Take half of one of these,” he says sternly. “You’ll feel no pain. But should your nose start bleeding, drop everything instantly and rest.”

“Is that a side effect?”

“No. But that’ll be entropy wreaking havoc on your body.” Even presses the bottle into his hand. “Let me watch over you.”

He looks at the pills. “I think this is something I have to do on my own.”

“You children always think you know what’s best. Fine. But if you do not text me within three hours I will hunt you down.”

He nods. For just a second, Even senses a kinship between them again. “Very well. Thank you, Even. This means a lot to me.”

“Don’t thank me yet.”

---

As the timer ticks down… Even frets, and paces. He prepares a kit, should this all go poorly, with fluids and epinephrine and the like. His own anxiety is spiking. But if he were in the same shoes, wouldn't he do everything in his power to save his dear one? Imagine the guilt otherwise?

He can't breathe. Panicking will be no use. You must be calm. Focused. The boy has always been more than he seems. If anyone can do this, it's Ienzo.

He's still not prepared when it happens. When he hears the gummiphone, and sees it's Ienzo, the relief hangs heavily in him. But the voice that speaks isn't his, it's Demyx, jagged and full of razors--"I need help. Even, I need--”

“Demyx? How long have you been conscious?”

“I think Ienzo’s dying and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Dying. The word echoes heavily, and so does the further gut punch-- I knew it. This is his fault, he should've fought Ienzo harder. “I’m coming. Stay on the line. Put it on speakerphone, do you know how to do that? What happened?"

Demyx sobs. "He found me. In my memory. I don’t know how, but he--he said he wasn’t supposed to have that power."

Even grabs his kit, already on the move. He swears. "No. He isn’t. There’s a reason humans don’t control the elements willy-nilly. What are the symptoms?" How bad did the boy let it get?

"He’s having trouble breathing. His pulse is really fucked up. His nose is bleeding and it seems like he’s in a lot of pain--” He gasps out another sob. "I'm sorry, Even."

His legs feel barely there as he runs. "I know you didn't ask for this."

"Why is this happening?"

The words feel divorced from him. His fingers fly across the screen--he needs more than mere medicine. "Power like that comes from the will. It can only exist without the presence of a fully realized heart--otherwise, it’s too much power. Hence why Nobodies can use it as a defense mechanism. At that point, entropy starts wreaking havoc on the body. Your cells literally start to break down and melt. The will to live starts to wear down." He has no doubt that the boy overextended himself. His fingers feel numb as he reaches out to that woman, the one who healed Demyx. If she could fix that, she may be the only one to fix this.

Demyx's breath catches. "Ienzo…"

Admittedly, it's a relief that the boy cares so much for him. “I’ve messaged Aerith. I don’t think my skills are enough. We must keep him alive until then.” His heart is beating so fast. You don’t have time to panic, you old fool. Get it together. Demyx can do all the suffering for both of us.

Distantly, tinnily, he hears, “Don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

“Demyx?” he prompts, another thrill of panic making his vision sheeny.

“He’s not breathing.”

“I need you to start doing compressions. Hard. We can fix broken ribs.” He’s almost there. Why did he let himself get so physically weak?

“Why would you do this?” the boy asks. “Why didn’t you let me drown?”

He’s there. Finally. He throws the door open. He sees Ienzo on Demyx’s bed, more corpse at this point than boy, soaked again in blood from his nose, and Demyx frantically trying to do compressions. He pulls the syringe of epinephrine from his bag, sticks the boy. Demyx is sobbing, a weirdly animal sound. Without machinery or magic, Even has no way of truly assessing Ienzo’s condition. He barely has a pulse. “Keep doing what you’re doing,” he says to Demyx as gently as possible. “If you’re tired I can--” But he can tell he’s talking to a wall. The younger man isn’t responding.

Aerith arrives at last. He sees something like horror in her green eyes before a mask settles into place.

“You should go,” Even tells Demyx. The last thing they need is for him to have this mental breakdown right here.

“I’m not leaving him.”

“You are in far too much distress to be a comfort to him.”

“But what if he--”

Even seizes him by the arm and pushes him. He slinks towards the door, trembling all over; Aerith whispers spells, ancient old words. “What happened?” she asks after a moment.

Even explains as quickly as possible.

“I can try to treat the body,” she says, though her teeth. “But if his will is worn down, then--”

“Do you think it is?”

“Oh, it is,” she says. “I use… when I heal, I use people’s own energies, their auras, which is basically the physical version of a will. I can barely feel anything, Even.”

He feels himself go numb. “Is this a fool’s errand, then?”

“Like I said. I’ll try my best. If it would be more of a comfort you could leave too--”

“I will not.”

For a moment, the sharpness of his tone causes her head to snap up; she quickly glances back down. “Can you connect the port line you’ve started to the blood replacement I brought?”

He does what the woman asks, feeling so helpless. “Would it break your concentration, to tell me what’s going on?”

She takes a quick breath. She holds her hands over him, and while it looks like she’s not doing much, Even can see the strain the magic is having. “It’s the internal bleeding that’s the problem,” she mumbles. “Between that, and the nosebleed, he’s lost something like three liters--and he’s a small man. A lot of his organs have failed, and some are bleeding too. Feels like the power must’ve started eating them. Not to mention his heart. It feels like it hasn’t been beating, though I know Demyx was doing good compressions--two of his ribs are broken. He must’ve entered something like sleep to stay alive while he used his powers. Fixing it is going to take time--time I’m not sure he has.” She glances up. “But I’ll try my best.”

“Is there anything I can…” Ienzo’s in more trouble, and he can’t do a single thing except watch.

“Ethers, if you have them. I’m going to need them.”

Numbly, Even nods, and leaves the room. Demyx sits curled next to the door frame, his hands bloody from the compressions, his eyes wide and uncomprehending. “...Boy?” Even asks softly.

He doesn’t respond. Likely he can’t.

He heads back towards his lab, spots Aeleus. At least one thing can be done.

The other man takes in his bedraggled appearance, the spots of blood on his white coat. “Even?” he asks.

“Aeleus, I need you to do something for me--likely several. You need to look after Demyx. He’s in shock. I’m not sure what he might do. I’m afraid Ienzo’s done something foolish in order to save him.” He explains about Demyx’s past, Ienzo’s condition. “I need to be with him, and help that woman how I can. Do not let Demyx in--I don’t care what you have to do to the boy. Nor Ansem, should he approach. Understand?”

Fear breaks his stoic expression. “Of course.”

Even feels himself slipping, adrenaline and panic making him weak and clumsy. He gathers what supplies he has for the healer, and then he returns. “Anything?” he asks her.

“He’s fighting. But he’s so tired,” Aerith explains. “Still unstable. I’m working on it.”

So Even waits. He watches her hands twist and gesture in foreign spells, offers her ethers, water, cloths for the sweat on her face. Mostly he just tries to keep it together, to not allow himself to consider what might happen if Ienzo doesn’t pull through. After what must be hours… she drops her hands, breathing hard. Even begins bracing himself. “Stable,” she says quietly. “The bleeding’s under control. We should probably bring him somewhere he can recover in the long term.”

“...Just pick him up?”

“His body’s rebounding well… that’s not what I’m worried about.”

The door slits open--Even sees Dilan’s face, his own panic mirrored back at him. “What on earth is going on--”

“You moron, we don’t need your meddling right now--”

“Can he carry him?” Aerith asks.

“I’m sure I can,” Dilan says. “But what--”

Even sighs. And explains.

“But why would Ienzo do this?” he asks. “He never--”

“I will not have you fret,” Even snaps. “Let’s get him moved.”

Dilan approaches Ienzo slowly. Despite the transfusion, he still looks deathly pale. As carefully as possible, he lifts him. They settle him back into his own bed; Even dresses him in something clean. He knows the boy is unaware of everything, but still is embarrassed for him anyway. Washes the blood off his face. Tucks him in. Aerith starts another transfusion.

“You said you’re not worried about his body,” he says, suddenly processing what was heard earlier.

She shakes her head. “Now that the damage is largely healed,” she says. “It’s his will to live--healthy body or not, if he’s weakened it, there’s no animating force behind him. It must’ve taken energy to… do what he did. He must’ve essentially lent Demyx his own, to get him out of the memories. There are a… few things I can try, to gauge how bad it is. He’s hanging on now. That’s the important thing.” She looks up. There are bruise-colored circles under her eyes. “Is he a… determined person?”

“...Stubborn to a fault,” Even admits. “How do you think he got in this mess? First he didn’t listen to me about… falling in with that boy, and then he wouldn’t let me monitor him.”

She sighs. “Good. That’s good. It might make all the difference. You should go tell your family.”

It’s the word choice that startles him. “I’m sure Dilan’s doing nothing but making them worry.” But before he can move, there’s a gentle knock.

Ansem, exhausted and haggard. “My poor boy…”

Even scowls. “I thought I told Aeleus to keep you away from here.”

“Aeleus is preoccupied.”

“He doesn’t need more stress.”

“Even, I’ve missed most of the horrific events in Ienzo’s life. The least I can do is be present now.”

“And he definitely doesn’t need you two squabbling,” Aerith says firmly. “Stay, or go, I don’t care, but what Ienzo needs is peace. If it’s something this deeply metaphysical, he’ll definitely sense the difference.”

Ansem nods and approaches the boy, sitting at his feet.

Very well. Let Even do all the heavy lifting. Like he always does.

He leaves. He can feel he’s shaking. If Ienzo passes on… what then?

What would he possibly have left?

He finds the other three in the sitting room; Demyx wrapped in a blanket, Aeleus gently consoling him; Dilan sits with his head in his hands. “He’s stable,” he explains when the three of them look up. “Aerith is with him now.”

“What exactly happened?” Dilan asks. “Demyx said something about overextending his power.”

“As far as I can tell--and it’s still early--that’s the case.” He clutches the back of a chair. “We’re not meant to truly have access to our elemental power. It’s an essence of the self, a projection in the absence of a heart--weapons are another mystery. By trying to regain it, however lightly, the entropy of a Nobody’s nonexistence began to eat away at his organs. Particularly his heart.”

“...The organ?” Demyx asks. It’s the first Even’s heard him speak since. His voice is odd, hollow. “Or--”

“We’re not sure how his metaphysical heart has been affected. But I have to learn to relinquish control when something’s out of my hands… and it is. Aerith is healing the physical damage. He’s asleep right now. Ansem is with him too.” He meets Demyx’s eyes. “Might I have a word with you?”

The boy’s eyes widen a little in fear, but he follows Even, taking the blanket with him. He leads the boy to his quarters, gestures for him to sit. “Can I get you some tea? Something to eat?”

“I’m not hungry.” Hollow and raw.

“You’re going to need your strength.” There’s not much of anything in his cabinets, just some likely stale biscuits in a tin. He places them on the coffee table in front of the boy, but he doesn’t take any. He has no idea how to help. If Ienzo has saved Demyx’s life, the least he can do is be of use. It’s what the boy would want. He starts taking his vitals. “Slight fever. Blood pressure low. Eat something. It’ll help. We should probably try to get some more caffeine into your system too.” Demyx watches him warily. Something looks different about the boy, something Even can’t place his finger on.

“Did you lie to Aeleus and Dilan?”

“Not technically.” He takes off the stained coat, sits. He’s exhausted. “I need to gather more information about the situation. And considering the extreme… delicacy of the situation, I figured you’d rather have some privacy.”

He shivers and won’t make eye contact. “How is Ienzo really?”

“The picture I have is not clear.” He puts a hand to his splitting head. “As I said, use of his power wrought havoc on his internal organs. There’s a good deal of internal bleeding, as well as kidney failure. But the most concerning of these things was his heart. I’m not sure yet for how long or when, but use of his power stopped it from beating. Not… death, exactly, but a type of sleep very near it. Something impossible to maintain without intervention. So, naturally, once he tried to wake back up, he went into shock.” Even pauses. Now that he’s coming down himself, his perception is improving. The boy is different. His eyes were never that deep shade of green. “Have your eyes always been so green, or am I just getting old?”

Demyx stares at him blankly.

“Can you tell me what you recall from earlier yesterday afternoon? Do you remember anything?”

He sighs. It’s a heavy sound. “That’s putting it mildly,” he says. He explains that they’d been working, that he’d realized the ancient score was his. “I just… started remembering. Everything about my life then started coming back, wave after wave after wave. There was just so much pain. I felt like I couldn’t escape it. I couldn’t . And then… well I don’t know how. But he got into my head, literally, and dragged me out of the memory. And then I woke up.”

It’s all starting to click. “...Fascinating,” Even mumbles. “Zexion always could use the memories of others to create illusions. But to actively be able to alter them…” He clucks his tongue. “If he’s closely bonded to you, it makes sense that he was able to do so. Naminé was only able to alter memories of those in and around Sora. His power must have functioned similarly.”

“He should have left me there,” Demyx whispers.

“I believe his friendship with Sora has given him something of a hero complex.” He uncrosses his legs. “Nonetheless, you deserve to live too. I have been too harsh with you. I always have.”

“I wasn’t exactly a good person then.”

The admission surprises him. Demyx always had a sort of cockiness to him in the past. To have him out here so nakedly; is this the memories giving him clarity? Or is it simple change? If Even were not so shocked, he would find it fascinating. “No worse, I’m sure, than I. The complex dynamics of the Organization involved quite a lot of groupthink. It was easy to blame you as the source of our problems. The truth is more nuanced than that.”

“The Organization was all I knew at the time.” He tightens the blanket around his shoulders. “I still wanted to be free. But I didn’t want it enough to make the effort of fighting worth it. So I made do.”

“As one does.” He can’t help but see himself in this story, his wayward attempts at survival doing nothing more than causing himself and Ienzo years of trauma.

“It’s okay.” Demyx sighs. “Dilan and I agreed to start over. Maybe you and me should do the same.”

Even nods. “Second chances involve quite a lot of forgiveness,” he says. “But perhaps we all have more common ground than we think.”

This said, the boy’s eyes settle back into the middle distance. He is different; Even can just feel it. More intense. More serious, and vulnerable. He thought it was the lighting at first, but the boy’s hair has changed, all the remaining blonde gone. Changed like a replica when it gets a heart, though the boy’s body is organic. He holds himself a little straighter.

So he’s done it, then. Completed his reformation. Something similar must be coming towards Even in the coming weeks and months. Something that may be worth studying--at the very least, so he can brace himself, fall apart as little as possible. Not to mention, the richness of what Demyx might know of such old times, times that were hardly written about. Even feels a small thrill despite himself. “I understand you’re still in shock, and naturally are very worried. But will you tell me about your past? I can only imagine what this must all be like for you.”

“Shock is right. I feel numb.” He sounds it.

“Perhaps you should get some rest,” Even suggests.

Demyx shakes his head. “I want to see him.”

How can this traumatized boy offer Ienzo the peace he needs? Not when he himself is so uncertain. “I don’t know if that is necessarily the best for either of you at the moment. Believe me. We will keep an eye on him. Sleep might help you get some clarity.”

“What I’d like to do is take a bath. I’m so cold.”

“Then by all means.”

Demyx leaves without so much as casting a backwards glance in his direction. He hasn’t eaten, Even realizes.

He does not have the strength to care for the two boys and himself at once.

Even sinks into bed. He can feel wetness in his own eyes.

Don’t do this, Ienzo. Don’t give up. Please.

But is he praying for the boy’s sake, or his own?

No; Even does not matter. Ienzo deserves a full and happy life. He still has so much left ahead of him; unlike the rest of them, he can bounce back, can be forgiven for his mistakes (though are they really his own?).

Even can’t sleep. He is numb, tired. He forces himself up. Aerith and Demyx both need feeding. But he finds that Aeleus has already cooked. “The least I can do,” he says softly. “Even… you look positively horrid.”

“I… know why Ienzo did what he did,” he says. “If it were me… if I could save the person most important… I… like to think I would’ve.” I wish I could do it now.

“It makes it no easier,” Aeleus says, with a nod. “You should eat as well.”

“Yes.” Aeleus is a decent enough cook, but the soup tastes like nothing. “Any word?”

“Nothing yet. She hasn’t left that room but to ask for some water.”

“The girl needs food. It’s a lot of magic.” He doesn’t sound like himself. “I’ll get her.”

“Even?”

Wearily, he turns.

“You can be upset about this,” Aeleus says. “I know it must… evoke painful memories.”

Even chuckles. “What doesn’t, these days,” he admits.

Aerith is still crouched by Ienzo. “His body is still alive,” she says when she sees him. “I’m afraid… he’s very deeply asleep.”

“More than on a physical level, I assume,” Even says.

“Well, yes. The will’s worn down, but still here. It needs to rest, to restore itself. Kind of like… putting itself into power-saver mode. Ergo, Ienzo can’t move.”

“Can the boy recover from it?”

“I… believe so,” she admits. “But I honestly have no idea how long it will take. Weeks? Months? I’ve never seen something like this before.”

“I can care for a sleeping child. I’ve done it before.”

She nods, slowly. “I’ll come back later to check on him.”

“Aeleus has made dinner. I insist you go get some. You look peaked.”

“Thank you… saves me the embarrassment of asking.” She smiles a little.

“I… can’t thank you enough. If it were only me…”

Aerith nods. “It’s my duty. My pleasure.” She leaves.

While he’s at it, he rouses Demyx, too, who is just as surly about eating until Even tells him Aerith’s there. Both children fed… he returns to the scene of the crime.

Ienzo sleeps.

Much like that night all those years ago, he’s breathing much too deeply and evenly, not so much as twitching. It’s not natural sleep in that regard. Keeping the body breathing and the heart beating is all his will can manage. He sits next to the boy. He’s positive Ienzo can’t hear him, unlike a normal coma patient; but he still speaks anyway. Science is reasonable; scientists are human. “He’s alright, you know,” Even says to him. “But I’m afraid I’m going to give you a stern talking-to concerning your self worth, when you wake.” He brushes the boy’s hair out of his eyes. His skin is a little feverish. “Do not… scare me like that again.” He squeezes Ienzo’s hand gently.

And lets him sleep.

#beyond this existence: atonement #even (kingdom hearts)#ienzo #demyx #aerith #aeleus #ansem the wise #beyond this existence

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rxcusant · 4 years

Text

i hastily wrote out a weird vent drabble thing with vanitas the other night and i debated on letting it collect dust or posting it but since im here i think the answer is obvious gfdjhk enjoy this weird post kh3 thing, or dont, i wont tlel you what to do

also emetophobia tw

_________________________

It’s disgusting. Like some hideous creature from a nightmare. Utterly revolting and rotting. It’s disgusting.

Vanitas never considered himself human. He knew he was an abomination. This form was perfect for him. Ghost-like with wisps of darkness constantly wafting off his body like smoke. Two sharp glowing red eyes that looked less like eyes and more like beady orbs. He didn’t have a mouth, not a normal one, but rather the inky mass of darkness split in a gooey mess that gave way to a mouth. Pulsing bright red veins encompassed his body all stemming from the familiar heart pattern on his torso. In place of normal fingers were elongated sharp claws tipped the same shade of red.

There wasn’t anything human about him. This is what a monster should look like.

But it’s no good if he doesn’t continue to play the part of a monster. Monsters are fit for scaring little children sleeping in their beds. Awaiting good dreams that will never come. What better target than the boy he’s forced to share a heart with? What better use for those claws than to sink into his dreams and stain them black with nightmares? What better use for a monster who breaks everything they touch?

It’s not just his dreams either. A real monster will continue to pick and pull apart leaving scars in their wake. Sora’s scars were emotional and mental as Vanitas day in and out terrorizes him. It’s thanks to him that Vanitas is stuck under Xehanort’s thumb again. If Sora hadn’t been so stupid and played right into enemys hands none of this would be happening! As Vanitas reminds him every day. You’re stupid. You’re a fool. You’re going to fade into nothing as every trace of you is erased by Xehanort. There won’t be anything left to save.

If Sora never became their vessel Vanitas wouldn’t have to look like such a hideous creature. If Sora never became their vessel Vanitas would’ve continued sleeping in the depths of his heart. He wouldn’t have to wake up and live with the constant negativity. He wouldn’t have to listen to Master Xehanort. He wouldn’t have to exist.

It’s all his fault.

It’s disgusting.

_________________________

He woke with a sharp gasp and hands around his throat. Wide eyes trained on the ceiling that he wasn’t sure he recognized at first. Amid heavy breathing Vanitas waited for his eyes to adjust and for his heart to stop pounding to realize it’s Ven’s room.

Swallowing hard he turned his head to the side to see none other than Ven sleeping beside him. the blonde had the same peaceful expression he must’ve had for the past decade- not that Vanitas would know, being trapped within Sora’s heart the whole time- and it vexed Vanitas to know even when in his sleep Ven had it easier. But he didn’t have it in him to continue that train of thought.

Slowly the memories pieced themselves back together. He jumped into Ven’s bed mainly to piss him off (and snicker whats yours is mine with a cheeky grin) but it backfired when Ven groaned and crawled in to sleep anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time they shared a bed and it wouldn’t be the last. And Vanitas would never admit it aloud but the only place he could sleep properly was next to his other half. Chalk it up to a natural harmony between the halves of their shared heart. He’d rather that than hurting himself to the point of exhaustion or simply not sleeping at all. Vanitas personally preferred the latter but neither Ven or the new replica body wouldn’t let him pull any more all nighters.

Sitting up in bed Vanitas pulled his knees close and just breathed. In, one two three. He was in Ven’s room with Ven beside him. Out, one two three. He’s not trapped in Sora’s heart who’s trapped in the Organization with Xehanort watching over them. In, one two three. He’s safe.

...Safe. What did that even mean for someone like him?

Out, one two three.

What right did he have to a comfortable life like this? Vanitas tried to take down Ven and his friends multiple times-- with no guilt or remorse either. On top of that he actively contributed to making Sora’s life a living hell in the Organization. He knew deep down inside nobody wanted him around. They would rather him dead than sleeping safe and sound in their home.

Maybe Vanitas would rather that too.

Gritting his teeth Vanitas buried his face into his hands. In, one two. Out, one two. In, one. Out, one. This isn’t working, it’s useless. What was the point in pretending he could ever be like the rest of them? He’s disgusting, a vile creature. A monster had no right to sleep soundly like the children they’re meant to scare.

Said children should stay asleep. Ven stirred and cracked open his eyes. “...Vanitas?” He said groggily. He blinked slow and only seemed partially aware of Vanitas hyperventilating.

He didn’t want to look at Ven, not right now. But if he didn’t do or say something Ven would only start interrogating him. So Vanitas picked his head up and stared down into his palms. For a moment it’s alright. The black hands giving way to long claws was normal. He got used to staring at them from within Sora’s heart.

It’s remembering he’s not inside Sora’s heart anymore that startled him to the point of falling off the bed.

With a thud Vanitas hit the ground and let out a grunt. It wasn’t particularly painful, as if pain could phase him anymore, and he sat back up after the impact. Which was a bad idea as his stomach immediately protested with a gross churning that sent an unpleasant vibe up his throat. Almost suffocating. Ven made some kind of confused yet concerned noise but that was far from Vanitas’s mind. He knew his feeling and he would rather die than let Ven see what was coming.

A cough pushed past his lips and Vanitas forced himself to keep it down another moment, slapping a hand over his mouth. He got to his feet and ran out the door with Ven calling out behind him. Normally so precise and calculated Vanitas was running without care for whereever he ended up so long as he was out of sight. Or that’s the idea, as he was only allowed enough time to run by the mercy of the darkness bubbling at his core. And the running only further agitated said core.

Vanitas succeeded in making it down the hallway and to a set of stairs but that’s when the awful sensation decided it couldn’t wait any more. He barely reached the stairs, much less going down them, before falling to his hands and knees. He let out a strangled choke as black ooze poured from his mouth and onto the flooring. A few stray drops splattered onto his hands and clothing but that’s hardly a thought or concern in his mind. Vanitas gave a few more coughs to bring up any leftover black gunk until he deemed the moments passed. Now there was a void in his stomach and an unpleasant light headed feeling.

And a pair of red eyes blinking back at him in the messy darkness.

Much like hallucinating the return of his claws, that’s normal at first too.

The darkness slowly begun to rise and shape into an Unversed. The void in his stomach was replaced by a sick repulsion and Vanitas acted upon instinct. Balling his fists he smashed the shape back down into the ground. Stringy and drippy darkness latched onto his hand but Vanitas paid it no mind. He kept punched and bashing the darkness in until the red eyes were completely obliterated. But he didn’t stop then. Not for the ringing traveling up his arm each time his fist impacted, not for the sob wrenched free of his throat, not for the heavy tears spilling.

Break, destroy, tarnish, it’s all he can do. He’s disgusting. A filthy creature. No normal person vomited up monsters. An abomination at his very core and that would never ever change--!

“--itas! Just- stop, stop it!”

There came another hand wrapping around his own. It didn’t do much to stop him from punching the ooze at first but after the first four times they managed to wrangle Vanitas out of his hunched position and keep him from pummeling any more craters. Vanitas let out a snarl and instinctively reared his head back to bash whatever was disturbing him in the middle of his breakdown. Can’t they let him wallow in peace?

His head connected with the person but that wasn’t enough to stop them. In fact they only tightened their hold on him and pulled him closer, mumbling different words that didn’t yet reach Vanitas’s ears. However Vanitas did see a white checkered wristband and that alone brought forth a confusing surge of emotions. Knowing Ven was there made everything simultaneously better and worse. Better because if anyone in the castle had to witness his breakdown he would rather it be Ven over Terra and Aqua. Worse because Ven witnessed him in the middle of a breakdown.

It was obvious Ven wasn’t going to let go so long as he would fight back so Vanitas gave up trying to struggle and just let himself go limp with a defeated sigh. Ven hesitated, likely waiting if this was a fakeout, but when Vanitas didn’t move Ven released him and shifted to the side. He tried making eye contact with his other half but Vanitas didn’t take his gaze off the smashed pile of dark ooze.

He wanted to ask what happened. That was the obvious question here. But Vanitas refused to look at him much less try to talk. Ven’s eyes traveled to the dark patch on the floor, Vanitas’s hand, and a small trickle of darkness in the corner of his mouth. Didn’t take long for Ven to piece it all together. He let out a faint oh and his hand settled over his mouth, looking at Vanitas with such sad eyes that any other time he would’ve growled at him for. Don’t look at me with such pity.

“...I-- Vanitas…” Ven trailed off, grasping for the right words. Did the right words for this even exist? What could someone possibly say? Nothing. Monsters didn’t deserve sweet honeyed words of it’s okay, I still care about you. They would only be lies. Words didn’t exist for such a disgusting creature as him.

But words never came. Ven’s eyebrows furrowed together as he seemed to realize what the other was thinking. He took a moment to weigh what he was about to do, and the consequences whether or not they be more thrashing or insults, before he embraced Vanitas. He held him tight and buried his face into his shoulder. Vanitas could just make out Ven’s uneven breath on his skin.

Immediately Vanitas wanted to protest. He already didn’t like being touched and an invasion of personal space right after vomiting an Unversed on top of a nightmare was way too much for him. He wanted to make his displeasure known, say or do something, but the words got confused on his tongue and his limbs were frozen. Get away, it’s for your own good, I’ll only hurt you! I break, I destroy, I don’t want to hurt you!

Neither word or action came. Nothing but heavy tears. The last thing he ever wanted to do was cry in front of Ven but…

But it’s okay this once since Ven can’t see. He already saw more than Vanitas ever wanted him too. This moment was for the two halves only, momentarily coming together in reassurance. Saying the right words without needing to vocalize them.

I’ve got you.

#drabble #Mainverse [Kingdom Come]#//[dances awkwardly] so this sure is a thing!#//yeah i havent been feeling good lately and vanitas is Never feeling good so he seemed #//like the right person to write a vent drabble about #//theres vanven if you squint but the important thing here is They Tolerate Each Other #//however else you wanna interpret that is fine with me.#//anyway. yeah. come and get your vanitas angst

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nadziejastar · 4 years

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The Icing on the Cake

The wayfinder trio’s story arc was handled pretty well in KH3. The main concept of their relationship was their unbreakable connection, which was connected to the stars. They would look up at the stars, thinking of each other. No matter where they went, they would always find their way back to each other.

The stars meant a lot to the wayfinder trio because no matter where they were, they were always underneath the same stars.

And Terra told Aqua that she was always lighting his way back. Their reunion had a lot of thematic resonance. It felt like it was planned many years in advance. That’s what made their story well-written.

Axel’s main priority in KH3 was bringing Roxas back, but it didn’t really have much thematic resonance, if you ask me. The entire concept of Axel’s character was “memory”. Got it memorized? Like with the stars, Axel is very nostalgic about the sunset, due to his memories of the past.

And Axel’s relationship with Roxas in KH3 didn’t really tie into this theme that well. His relationship with Ventus actually had a lot more thematic resonance.

But the story dropped the ball hard on that one. Lea recognized Ventus as Roxas, and was hoping that Ventus recognized him as Axel. But...he didn’t. Lea was visibly disappointed. This would have been the perfect time for them to have a heartfelt reunion. But the scene had almost no impact at all because Lea and Ventus were practically strangers, despite their relationship having so much thematic significance. In the end, their meeting was pretty pointless.

Lea’s reunion with Roxas was saved for the final battle. But the scene didn’t feel like it belonged there. It didn’t resonate with the themes of Lea’s character arc. It had nothing to do with “memory”. Unlike Ventus and Aqua’s reunion with Terra, the Keyblade Graveyard didn’t feel like it was planned to be the place for Lea to reunite with Roxas. Compared to the wayfinder trio, the sea-salt trio’s reunion was awkward, out of place, and poorly written.

On the other hand, Lea’s fight with Isa did tie into this concept of “memory”. Isa was possessed, and it seemed like he forgot about his friendship with Lea a long time ago. Their final battle was all about how they never forgot each other. The Keyblade Graveyard felt like it was supposed to be about Lea’s reunion with Isa, not Roxas and Xion.

Everything about Lea and Isa’s relationship revolved around the theme of “memory”. In Birth by Sleep, there is an extremely happy and innocent song called Eternal Moments. It only plays during the scene where Ventus meets Lea and Isa. It’s pretty much Lea’s theme. It also plays a few times during KH3.

The song that plays during most of the sea-salt ice cream moments in 358/2 Days is called At Dusk, I Will Think of You… It’s basically a more melancholy version of “Eternal Moments”. It’s pretty much Axel’s theme in the game. Axel was always, ALWAYS wishing to go back to the past. Sea-salt ice cream and the sunset always reminded him of that. To Axel, the sunset was his star, and ice cream was his wayfinder.

The first chapter of the Days manga was called “The Ice Cream That Started It All”.

At the end of the chapter, Roxas started remembering things after Axel took him out for ice cream.

The sun sank lower and lower as Axel watched, his mind wandering. If he stared for too long, the image would burn itself into his eyes, visible even after his eyes were closed. A phantom sun. Someone had once told him why sunsets were red… Who was that?

Roxas was eating ice cream with Axel when he brought up his first week. Ice cream = memories. Axel remembered the reason why the sunset was red on this day.

In KH2, one of the early chapters is called “Sea-Salt Ice Cream”.

It starts off with the kids eating ice cream. Pence calls it a simple pleasure before he wonders if they will always be together, which Hayner says is impossible.

Simple pleasures are experiences that are brief, positive, emerge in everyday settings, and are accessible to most people at little or no cost.

It’s like the saying “the best things in life are free”. Kinda cheesy, like something off a fortune cookie. But it’s still a nice message.

Roxas: I could have done that blindfolded.

Axel: Ha ha! I dunno if I want a blindfolded zombie on the loose. All right, smart aleck, you did good. And no successful mission is complete without a little icing on the cake. C'mon.

On their mission together, when Roxas acts self-aware for the first time, Axel gave sea-salt ice cream to him as a reward for working hard.

In KH2, the kids were broke. But they worked really hard to save up enough money to go to the beach. Of course, the money was stolen so they never got to go.

They had to settle for the simple pleasure of eating ice cream together. And they were fine with that.

The trip to the beach was all about creating memories, since they couldn’t be together forever.

The message is, it’s not the cost of the trip that was valuable, it’s the memories they created together.

Eating ice cream is cheap. It isn’t exactly as exciting as going to the beach, but it doesn’t have to be. The memories of the people you’re eating it with are more important. That’s why Axel stole a lot of Hayner’s dialogue in Days. It was all about the theme of “memories”.

"C'mon, C'mon, stop by and try some! It's a sweet and salty mysterious ice cream!"

“What’s that?” Lea ran up to check it out.

“Hullo, there, laddie. Would you like one?”

“I’m…guessing they aren’t free?” Lea asked, jamming a hand into his pocket.

Scrooge hopped up and yelled, “Of course not! Are ye daft?!”

When Lea was a kid, he didn’t have a lot of money, either. He was even hoping the ice cream Scrooge was offering was free.

For a little bit, Lea was deep in thought. Scrooge held the ice cream in his hands. "Then I'll have one....no, two!" “Thank ye kindly!”

Lea paid the munny, took the two ice popsicles from Scrooge, and handed one to Isa.

He was broke, but he still bought Isa an ice cream, too. There’s a reason I think the localization used the term “icing on the cake” for Axel’s sea-salt ice cream ritual.

"It's cold....." Isa mumbled, nibbling at the ice cream. "Whaddya mean, it's ice cream so of course it is, got it memorized?" ".....moreover, it's salty." "But sweet!" As Lea went on, Isa smiled just a bit. It's rare to see Isa smile. But, well, friendship means eating ice cream together, talking about stupid things, and laughing like this.

Icing on the cake is defined as an attractive but inessential addition or enhancement. It’s the not the main attraction. It’s just something extra that makes a good thing even better.

“Why, look at that, you’re a winner! Congratulations!”

“‘Congratulations’…?” It was a new word to Roxas. Was that what he’d won?

“You get another ice cream, on the house,” she told him.

“Um, how much?” He didn’t know what “on the house” meant, either. But he had heard that one could get things in exchange for munny or for hearts.

“No, no, it’s free. You won! Have you got a friend you’d like to treat?”

A WINNER stick gives you a free ice cream. It literally costs nothing. It’s the epitome of a simple pleasure.

Day 357: To My Best Friend

Author: Axel

Roxas left. It’s so like him to just leave that WINNER ice cream stick behind. Come tomorrow, I’ll probably get the order to hunt him down, but leaving that here makes it feel so permanent. I wish the three of us—three? No. That the two of us could share some ice cream again someday. That’s what it is to be friends.

My impression was that Isa was the type of person who didn’t care what activity he was doing. The ice cream was just extra—the icing on the cake. It was nice, but it wasn’t even necessary.

“Precisely, Roxas. That is no ordinary rose. To him, at least, it seems to hold more value than all the castle’s riches.”

As long he spent time with Lea, that was all that mattered. It didn’t matter if they were broke or not. Day 193 is even called “Memories”. And Axel brings up eating ice cream. To him, that’s what it meant to be best friends.

“So, okay, say you don’t need a heart for things to be important to you… Maybe the closest thing we Nobodies have is our pasts. It’s the memories that give things value.”

“Memories…,” Roxas mumbled at his lap. “Well, I don’t remember my past, so I guess that explains it.”

Axel pondered that for a few seconds before suggesting, “What about your present, though?”

Roxas looked up. Somehow, he hadn’t expected to hear that from Axel. “Huh?”

“You’ve got your memories since you joined up with the Organization, right? There must be something special to you there.”

“I dunno…” Memories…? Roxas didn’t have any from when he was human. But he did remember his time with the Organization so far.

My theory is that Isa was Subject X. He had amnesia after Lea reunited with him in Twilight Town. They were going to start over and create a new life and new memories together. Since Isa had no memories of his past, Lea wanted them to do something memorable together, so he thought of going to the beach.

Other than being told today’s mission, I didn’t really do anything yesterday. Maybe in reality it’d even be okay to have called it a day off. A holiday…

“Didn’t get to go in the end,” muttered Axel, and he got up.

Today I have to destroy Roxas. I cannot betray the organization.

From the little shelf at his bedside, Axel took a white envelope, and looked at it vaguely for a while. Putting it in his pocket, Axel got up off the bed and left the room.

They probably didn’t get to stay in Twilight Town that long, though. Probably just 7 days, if I had to guess. They never got to go to the beach. Probably didn’t have the munny.

Axel thrust his hand into his pocket, and took out the white envelope.

The memories of me and Roxas haven’t faded away. For now, that’s just fine.

“…Really feel like some ice cream,” Axel muttered, watching the sunset absently.

We were always together with the sunset. We talked about all kinds of things in that place. I think it’d be good if we could talk and eat ice cream there again someday. Now, there’s nothing but that. I only hope for that.

The setting sun was shining on Axel.

They spent quality time in Twilight Town, but then they realized they weren’t even safe there. They had nowhere to run from Xehanort.

He didn’t really understand the “icing” part, except that it was ice cream. Like Winner, though, it meant something special. So when Axel came back, Roxas would use the freebie and get him some “icing.”

They were out of time, so they decided to commit suicide together. Isa was grateful for the memories Lea was able to give him, even if the were just simple pleasures like ice cream.

That meant a lot to Lea. He said that inside people’s memories, he could live forever.

So, as long as they remembered each other, they’d never be apart. They promised to see each other again in the next life.

Everything about Lea and Isa had thematic resonance, even if KH3 dropped the ball on them badly. It felt like Lea’s entire character arc for the whole Xehanort Saga revolved around his past with Isa. Everything he did with Roxas and Xion involved his past with Isa.

I can’t really think of anything about Roxas and Axel’s relationship in KH3 that had thematic resonance. He just showed up out of nowhere and barely even interacted with Axel afterwards. It really felt like their reunion during the final battle wasn’t planned very far in advance and had very little thought put into it; like it was just shoehorned in at the last minute. Lea’s reunion with Ventus felt like it had more planning and thought put into it.

Roxas and Axel barely even acknowledge each other after Roxas comes back. The moment where Isa treats Lea to an ice cream on the clock tower had waaaay more thematic significance than any moment between Lea and Roxas. It felt like that moment was being built up for a long, long time. Practically the entire Xehanort Saga. It was the equivalent of Terra telling Aqua she was always there lighting his way back. Lea and Roxas don’t get a special moment like this.

#kh lea #kh isa #leaisa #akusai #kh #kh3 #kh3 ending

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p-artsypants · 5 years

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blackbeastofengalnd replied to your photo

Tell me the key to it creation sensei

Regarding the Ultima weapon in KH3:

So, honestly, this was the hardest I’ve ever had to work to make this weapon. The easiest (I think) is KH2, then KH1, then KH3 (though I haven’t gotten it in DDD or BBS, but I’ve only played those once)

In order to make the Ultima weapon, you have to unlock it in the Moogle shop, which you do after collect 58 synthesis materials. As long as you run around and fight, this shouldn’t be a problem.

First we’ll start with the easy stuff, the ‘other’ ingredients.

Wellspring Crystals are drops of ‘High Soldier’ Heartless in Monstropolis, San Fransokyo, and The Caribbean. They might also be in chests? I honestly don’t know, because I had them before the Ultima weapon was available.

Same thing with the Pulsing Crystals, which are dropped in Arendelle.

The Lucid Crystals are a little harder, but they are dropped by the Anchor Heartless in the Caribbean. Pulsing and Lucid Crystals can be synthesised with the use of a Wellspring Crystal.

Now onto the hard stuff.

The 7 Orchalcum +

1. One is in ‘The Final World’ in a chest. I think it’s the only chest there. No problem.

2. There’s one hidden in Exile Island in the Caribbean. Also, didn’t have any trouble with this one.

3. You need to snap pics of 80 lucky Emblems to get this one. But, I wanted the secret ending, so I got all 100 (in beginner mode). There’s guides on where to find them online, but two that the guides were SUPER unhelpful for were two in the Caribbean. Go to Sandbar Isle, and look to the right side, where the cliffs with vegetation are. There’s some rocks you can use as stairs and they’ll take you up there. Explore around, and you’ll see a small path that takes you to a spring hidden in the middle. Jump in, and you’ll see a little mickey on a rock, and then a huge one carved out of the rock. There’s also a ton of chests down there.

4. The gummi battles in this game, I feel, are infinitely better than the ones in previous games. You have to beat the Omega Boss in the Eclipse Galaxy to get this one. Honestly, if you just spend time going through each of the oceans and leveling up, this one is not that hard, just time consuming. I always build my own ships, but some of the blueprints are excellent for that battle. It’s actually a six part battle, since you have to pretty much defeat everything in the Galaxy before Omega appears. There’s a giant box taking up this galaxy, and each corner (on the outside) has a battle on it. There’s a little bit of a cinematic when he appears.

5. The lottery. Remember that you get postcards for buying a lot from the Moogles? There’s a reason. In Twilight town next to the shop, there’s a post box. This Orchalcum+ is random and there’s no trick to it. So, what I did was save before posting, then entered in the drawing. If I didn’t get it, I loaded up the save file and tried again. It took me about ten tries.

6. The Flantastic Seven. I swear to god, this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in a video game. It wasn’t even really that hard, just...so tedious and precise. So I’ll go through each one individually, by my perceived difficulty. I’m not going to write about locations, since IGN has a comprehensive list of where to find them all. (Plus their own guide of how they work)

Grape- I got this one on the first try. You have to beat as many as you can. I just used ranged magic, like thunder and wailed on them as much as possible. I found it easy. But that’s the only one I did.

Strawberry- Stacking little flans as you spin around on a teacup while avoiding giant rolling strawberries. This took me a couple of times to do, but I eventually got it. Bumping into ANYTHING knocks off your flans. So just go slow, and stay around the outside.

Orange- The calmest of the flans. In Corona, they just want you to take some cute pictures of them. You get seven shots, use them wisely.

Directly behind you at the starting point, there’s a tiny one right by the hidden entrance to the tower. Snap it when he pops out of the ground.

Another tiny one jumps out by the cave and waves. Get him with his arm raised. He’s a little tricky, so be careful (or get him first)

There’s two that are sitting together in a tree. They jump down when you aim your camera on them and make...waffles? They only do this once, so don’t goof it up!

There’s one with two birds in hand and a rabbit on his head. He poses with them.

There’s five together that walk and pose. Snap a pic when they pose in unison. This is worth the most points.

You should have 23k if you got all of these, so your last pic can go on any of them (but I suggest the flying ones)

Watermelon- In the Caribbean at the fort. This one is all about timing. If you hit the big one on balloons in the back, you get major points. You can hit the bell in the middle to fire all cannons at the same time, but it takes a bit to recharge.

Banana- In Monster’s Inc. The big one tries to eat you while you try to destroy the little ones. They are 1 hit kills too. So, dodge roll the heck out of the way, and try to keep an eye out on the big one. I found it the best to stay behind him, close, at all times. Use thunder to attack the little guys, but don’t spam it. Give them time to spawn a whole bunch. If you’re lucky, you can use grand magic to score major points.

Musk Melon- The bane of my existence. You have to jump on them to go high, but if you jump on the same one, they’ll eat you. And you can miss and end the game. Always always aim for the sparkling ones. They give more points and move platforms. For ones that are moving, aim for their faces, since you’ll have a better chance of landing on them. Once you pass 10k, you start doing that skydiving fall and the game becomes WAY harder to complete. Just...good luck.

Cherry- I used to love cherries. Now I can’t look at them without crying. I’m not even kidding, it took me ten hours of doing this stupid mini game before I actually got it.

When going down the path, hit the first set of arrows, then the flan, SKIP the next set of arrows, and hit the two flan. This will give you enough speed to hit the arrows on the roof and grab the flan in the air. Go across the disc, then over another roof-straight, and then turn mid air to get the six flan in the air. Continue straight, then turn slightly up a ramp, hit a set of arrows, hit three flan, arrows, jump a ledge to hit flan in the air, hit another on the way down. Next section in the garden will basically auto pilot you with arrows. When you hit the arrows to make a sharp right in front of a fountain, make sure to curve to the left to avoid hitting the wall. Go straight down the path, over a shallow hole, and then hit two more single flan. Now this part is CRUCIAL to winning this game! There’s a fork in the path, one direction down a dirt path, and one down some steps. The arrows will take you down the steps, but if you curve slightly to the right, you can take some planks around the arrows and down the dirt path! There are a TON of flan down that way! After that, you’ll go into a temple, and then down the alley that was on fire earlier. The flan will guide you down the correct path into the city. Immediately in the city, there should be arrows to take you left into a group of five flan. Then, you’ll go straight into the little maze of fire that you used a Trinity Sled on earlier. You can rely on the arrows for the rest of the route. The main trick is that fork in the road, and keeping your speed up without losing control or bumping into ANYTHING. Mostly luck.

7. Frozen Slider Mini game- You have to collect ten glowing jewels on the mountain. There are four sections to the mountain. But all of the jewels are in the third. Each section is divided by a major jump that you will go over no matter which path you take. The first goes over a gorge, the second, over a cliff, and the third over a cliff after going through some caves. Here’s a very vague and probably not helpful map:

The best advice I can give is to watch this video by Youtuber Everglow and just memorise it, because that’s what I did. There’s not really any other landmarks to use, so just...good luck. Because that’s all I can say.

Though it was really frustrating and tedious, I feel amazing to have gotten it. BUT NEVER AGAIN.

#blackbeastofengalnd #kingdom hearts #kh3 #ultima weapon #kingdom hearts 3 #flantastic seven #flantastic 7 #frozen slider #mini games

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nadziejastar · 5 years

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Can we talk about true names, the recusant's sigil, and how renaming the members of Organization XIII was meant to be part of the destruction and reforging of their identities?

The Recusant’s Sigil and Xemnas’ True Goal: Filling in KH3′s Plot Holes and Proof That Isa Was Subject X

Recusant’s Sigil

Xemnas, leader of Organization XIII, gave new names to all who entered its ranks. Each name was an anagram created from the member’s original name plus the letter X.

This X is known as the Recusant’s Sigil, and has manifested itself in both obvious and insidious ways throughout Sora’s adventures.

It would be my pleasure. This is a subject that I feel incredibly passionate about. It really bothered me how this entire aspect of the story was just…unceremoniously dropped, as if it never existed in the first place. It was incredibly important to the plot. It was being built up for YEARS. The entire story now has this massive gaping hole, which makes it feel totally unfinished. Honestly, it’s really terrible storytelling.

Day 358: Goals

With luck, we can bring Roxas back into our fold, but even if Sora should awaken, as the hero of the Keyblade, he is bound to keep unlocking hearts. If he should come to target us, we need simply subdue him and use his powers ourselves once more. I must become one with Kingdom Hearts. I will become a higher existence. All of my true ambitions begin there.

I mean, all of Xemnas’s secret ambitions revolved around this concept. Without explaining this aspect of the story, none of Xemnas’ actions make any sense. Even while he was telling everyone he just wanted to regain his heart, his actual goal was to complete the artificial Kingdom Hearts for a different purpose.

Xemnas: But understand, one can banish the heart from the body, but the body will try to replace it the first chance it gets, for as many times as it takes. And so I knew, even after we were divided into Heartless and Nobodies, it was just a temporary separation.

He knew all along that Nobodies could regrow hearts. His KH2 goal was just a facade.

— Roxas, the “Sora + Ventus” Nobody, was able to use a Keyblade. In contrast Xemnas, the “Terra + Master Xehanort” Nobody, wasn’t able to use a Keyblade. Why is this?

I’d rather that point remain a mystery. It’s possible that he intentionally wasn’t using one.

Xemnas already had a heart, which is why he had the ability to use a Keyblade. He simply CHOSE not to, for some unspecified reason. This is the reason he needed Roxas and/or Xion around in the first place.

Xemnas: A heart is never lost for good. There may have been variances in our dispositions, but a number of us unquestionably showed signs of a burgeoning replacement. Once born, the heart can also be nurtured.

All the Organization members could regrow hearts. I would say that they ALL had “burgeoning replacements.” That’s why they all had distinct personalities, and why they could all “see” Xion.

Xigbar: Ha ha! Well no, apparently you don’t!

Saïx: Something you find amusing?

Xigbar: If people see with their hearts, Saïx, then you’re even blinder than the rest of us.

The only person hinted to be an exception was Saïx. Xigbar was certain that Isa’s heart was gone.

Sora: Why, then? Why did you lie to them and tell them they had no hearts?

Xigbar: Xemnas and Xehanort formed the Organization for a specific reason–round up a bunch of empty husks, hook them up to Kingdom Hearts, then fill them all with the exact same heart and mind. Translation–they were gonna turn all the members into Xehanort.

Sora: Make more Xehanorts? You tricked your friends to… But you–aren’t you scared of just turning into someone else?

Xigbar: Me? I’m already half Xehanort.

Sora: That’s nuts…

What Xemnas actually wanted to do, was turn everyone in the original Organization XIII into Xehanort. In other words, overwrite their sense of self with his own.

Xemnas: However–through weakness of body…weakness of will…or weakness of trust–most of the original members we had chosen for the Organization were inadequate. Thus, naturally, they never had a chance to attain their goal. Yet, even this was to be expected.

Turning a unique and sovereign individual into an alter ego of Xehanort is no simple task. If the person is too weak, or they are too defiant of Xehanort’s will, it simply isn’t possible. And there are definitely not many people who would willingly sign up to become another Xehanort.

— What happens to the hearts of those who have had Master Xehanort’s heart planted within them?They’ll gradually be swallowed by it. As for Master Xehanort, he plans to control them completely. The planted parts of the heart are captured rather than disappear.

You’d have to be nuts like Braig to even consider letting your heart get swallowed by Xehanort.

— Who are the thirteen researchers of darkness?

Thirteen seekers of darkness that share a consciousness and heart with Master Xehanort, serving as raw material for the X-Blade. In this game, they failed in their attempts to make Sora the 13th of their ranks, but who’s to become the 13th in his stead? And who are the six whose identities have not been revealed?

You lose your free will. Xehanort shares a heart and consciousness with you once he swallows your heart. As a Seeker of Darkness, you are simply “raw material”. A body. An object. A vessel. Your true self is annihilated to make room for Xehanort.

— What is the meaning of the ‘x’ in the Organization member’s names? Also, was adding the ‘x’ to their original names difficult?Nomura: It was Xemnas’s decision to add the ‘x’. I think the meaning will become clear in Birth by Sleep. Think of the circumstances of the Organization member’s names with an ‘x’ added. We came up with many name candidates the with ‘x’ added in together with the staff, we rack our brains while we consider them.

Xemnas added the Recusant’s Sigil to everyone’s name for a very specific reason.

Xehanort: “X”… A most ancient letter. Some say “kye,” but the meaning is the same. Death… A letter that spells endings.

It symbolizes the death of their original self, in preparation for them becoming another Xehanort—one of his 12 “selves”.

Day 7: Meaning

A name defines an object. Describes the span of it. Gives it purpose. We embarked upon the Replica Program to ensure our new power stays ours. Now, our shadow puppet, “No. i,” lives. It needs a name. Something to define it. To give the hollow vessel purpose.

—Xemnas

The “X” serves no purpose other than to symbolize Xehanort’s total control and authority over that person in every way. Body, mind, and heart. Quite frankly, it’s really creepy.

Saïx: Lord Xemnas has summoned us.

Xemnas: The time has arrived. Look to the skies! There hangs the heart of all hearts–Kingdom Hearts–shining down on us at last. See the countless hearts that have gathered? Hearts full of rage…hate…sadness…and bliss. There, in the sky, hangs the promise of a new world. My friends! Remember why we have organized–all the things we hope to achieve. The strength of the human heart is vast. Soon, though…we will have gained power over it! Never again will it…have power over us.

Xemnas recognized that the heart was the most powerful of all. Along with telling the Organization members that they would gain their heart back, he also promised them that they’d acquire some sort of mastery over the heart. However this idea is never explored.

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

—Xaldin

Which members knew about the Organization’s true goal, besides Xigbar? While I doubt he actually knew the truth of Xemnas’ goal, given his rank as No. III, Xaldin is more likely than most. He willingly gave up his heart, while others clearly had it taken against their will. What exactly were members like Xaldin after? This is never explained.

In KH3, Dilan acts all nice and happy to see Ansem the Wise. Yet he seemed very twisted and sinister, even before he became a Nobody. And KH3 backtracks on the idea that any of the apprentices had their hearts stolen. Ienzo is quick to assure the audience that they all gave up their hearts willingly, despite him being a small child at the time. How could he have made a meaningful choice regarding that matter?

— Were the members of Organisation XIII that grew hearts unsuitable as vessels for Xehanort?

That’s not necessarily the case, however the details are a secret.

Most of the Organization members were unworthy to be vessels in their natural state. That’s why Xemnas needed to complete Kingdom Hearts to achieve his aims. It’s the only way he could gain enough power to override someone’s free will and make them a vessel. Were Nobodies unusable because, despite losing their hearts, their minds are STILL too strong for Xehanort to take control of them? The exact process is never explained.

Xehanort: Your body submits, your heart succumbs–so why does your mind resist?

But since Terra’s mind put up such a fight, it’s not that hard to believe that a Nobody’s mind poses just as much of an obstacle as their heart.

Xemnas: We have learned of the heart’s folly, and we have achieved our other goals. This last excursion has proven to be a worthy closing assignment for the Organization.

Of course, the original Organization XIII was just one possible avenue that Xehanort was using. He had other plans, just in case that one fell through. This is why Xehanort was so confident while he bragged to Terra that he had “many roads open”.

Xemnas: Our experiments creating Heartless were attempts to control the mind, and convince it to renounce its sense of self.

And what did these experiments entail?

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

Extract the darkness from a person’s heart.

Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject’s heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness…What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

Manipulating the darkness in people’s hearts. This caused most of the subjects’ hearts to collapse. But why use darkness to control someone’s mind and get them to renounce their sense of self? Because if you can subject someone to trauma that is beyond their ability to cope, they will mentally dissociate in order to escape the pain. This leaves their body wide open for possession.

Riku: “Vessel”?

Xehanort: Yes. We originally had our sights set on you. But, you developed a certain…resistance to darkness. So we did what the Keyblade did, and moved down the list. Roxas… Now, there was a worthy candidate. But, unfortunately, he became too aware of himself, and returned to Sora. Organization XIII’s true goal is to divide Xehanort’s heart among thirteen vessels. Thanks to you and Sora, we learned not all our candidates were fit for the task. But, we managed to make up the difference. And now, Sora, the thirteenth vessel, is within our grasp.

Why was Roxas such a worthy candidate? Because he was a total zombie at first. He had no sense of self. Why did Sora need an “X” on his clothing during KH3D? Yes, it allowed him to be tracked, but it was also an important symbol. Terra, Aqua, and Ven all had the “X” on their clothing design. Riku happened to also have an “X” design on his KH1 outfit as well. As the new intended vessel, Sora needed it too.

Marluxia: You ignorant fool. If Naminé uses her powers to erase your memory, you’ll be nothing but an empty shell. Your heart will no longer be able to feel or to care. Just like—Vexen’s pathetic imitation of your Riku.

There’s another benefit to traumatizing a subject. If they survive the process, they will lose their memories. Memory is the main source of the ego, the “self”. Given severe enough trauma, the mind will create amnesiac barriers as a defense mechanism. This is so the person will not have to relive the memory of the trauma over and over again.

This is why people who have been in serious car accidents usually do not remember the moment of impact, for example. To use a darker example, it’s also one of the reasons why the CIA developed Project MKUltra—a trauma-based mind control program, back in the 1950′s. In the KH universe, if person is totally devoid of memories, they are rendered an empty shell.

Marluxia: You’ve no chance of winning. Naminé… Erase Sora’s memory.

Naminé: But if I do that…

Marluxia: That’s right. Sora’s heart will be destroyed.

Going about it the wrong way risks their heart being destroyed, though. So even directly manipulating a person’s memories does not guarantee that they will become a successful vessel.

— There are still many mysteries surrounding Castle Oblivion. Was the castle itself constructed by the Organization and was Naminé originally a subject of the experiments going on there? Please tell us about the details of the Organization’s experiments. Also, was the pod Sora entered somehow related to the experiments done by the Organization? Was the pod in Twilight Town the same sort of thing?

In the end, the Organization’s goal is to obtain the Kingdom Heart’s of people’s hearts and to fully exist. These Nobodies are called “the Non-Existent Ones”. In order to assume a new existence, information about their own personal circumstances must first be gathered. A Nobody’s main characteristic is that without a heart they use memories to form the parts of a personality and emotions. For them, memories have become an essential element. The birth of Castle Oblivion itself is still a mystery but before the Organization was born into this world it was there. The Organization discovered this castle. You should be able to make some guesses from the additional scenes this time, and fairly quickly be able to think of the next stage.

At the same time Roxas awoke in Twilight Town, Naminé awoke in Castle Oblivion. Afterwards, the Organization discovered Naminé. The organization thought of Naminé’s gift to manipulate memories as a way to resolve the actual circumstances surrounding each of their abilities and attributes. The memories of those who enter were used in the experiments on memories going on there. Above all else, the Organization’s leader Xemnas was investigating the importance of memories. During these experiments, in order for these memories to be broken and then regenerated, those pods were made by the Organization. The pod Sora awoke from in Twilight Town and the pod Diz moved from Castle Oblivion to keep away from the Organization’s pursuit are the same thing. Also, there is an additional scene where Xigbar talks about the “true goal of Castle Oblivion” and when this particular scene appears, I think all mystery surrounding Castle Oblivion should become clear.

It seems like the Organization was tasked with studying memories for the same reason they were tasked with completing Kingdom Hearts. Even if they didn’t know that’s what they were doing at the time, they were furthering Xehanort’s aim to create vessels.

I have made a grave mistake. My study of the “darkness of the heart” began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed. Spurred on by my youngest apprentice, Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle. Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the “darkness of the heart.”

In fact, the darkness experiments originated as simple memory experiments. Ansem even uses quotation marks when he refers to the experiments on darkness of the heart. While he WAS interested in studying the darkness of the heart, he didn’t appear to view his experiments on Terranort that way. He was merely interested in helping him regain his lost past. It seems like Terranort’s experiments on darkness were entirely separate from Ansem’s research.

— The “Replica Plan” that was the key to this game, was it begun with Roxas’ entry into the Organization?

No, earlier than that. Originally Vexen was working privately to advance the research on Replicas, but for the Organization’s goal of completing “Kingdom Hearts of people’s hearts” they needed to use the Keyblade to recover hearts, so they switched to this plan of copying the Keyblade hero. As for who was or wasn’t told about the “Replica Plan”, that depended only on their different missions.

One other method to create vessels was to use replicas. Nomura said that they “switched” the focus of the Replica Program to copying the Keyblade wielder’s abilities. That’s not why the program was originally created. But at some point Xemnas decided to use replicas for something other than their intended function.

Day 23: Research Entry 326

The Program is largely on target. No. i, my finest Replica, has proven an even greater success than anticipated. I intend to take the other vessel—judged unfit for number status–to Castle Oblivion, where I will subject it to further testing. One thing is clear: could these Replicas not be classified as a special sort of Nobody?

The Riku replica was the first one to be deemed a failure and unfit for number status, by Vexen himself. Why was he unsuitable as a member?

Day 194: The Replica

I thought I’d never see the word “Replica” again. Any rational man would realize the Riku Replica was not likely unique, but I’m the only one in the Organization who knew of his exceptional copying functionality, and that he ultimately formed a sense of self.

—Axel

Probably because he formed a sense of self.

Xemnas: Vexen oversaw the project at Castle Oblivion. However, our efforts were severely derailed by his unexpected demise. And this particular Replica–the one we called Xion–came to form an identity of her own.

When they are implanted with memories, even replicas will develop a sense of self. The heart and memory are inextricably linked, after all. All of this suggests that replicas were not really suitable as vessels, at least at the time of Vexen’s demise. They were more useful to Xemnas for their copying ability, and Xemnas prioritized that.

Xemnas: We wanted the Key. Xion’s exposure to Roxas effected a transfer of its power, just as we had hoped. Had things stopped there, Xion would have been an unequivocal success. But then, through Roxas, Sora himself began to shape “it” into “her,” giving Xion a sense of identity. I was ready to scrap the whole project… Then, it occurred to me: Xion is keeping Sora’s memories trapped by claiming them as her own. Keeping her close to Roxas will prevent Sora from ever waking.

After all, despite her success at copying Roxas’ powers, Xemnas admitted that he was ready to scrap the whole Replica project when Xion, like Riku, developed a sense of self. Without memories, replicas are just lifeless dolls, like the people whose hearts collapsed during the experiments, and Ventus at the beginning of BBS. They are useless as vessels. But even with memories, they are like any other person with a heart. This makes replicas no more suitable than humans as vessels. This is why it made NO sense for Xion to be the 13th vessel.

Xigbar: Sora is having a powerful effect on her.

Xemnas: Yes, it was not supposed to gain a mind of its own–nor become the person we see. But in the end, it only proves the puppet is the more worthy vessel. At last, the time has come. Saïx, are the devices ready?

Xaldin: Perhaps you’d care to enlighten us about this “pet project.”

Xion would only have been a viable vessel if the artificial Kingdom Hearts had been completed; the same as any of the other members, like Axel or Xaldin.

— Xigbar wasn’t told about it, but he seems to have found out on his own.

Even in Final Mix+, Xigbar was probing Zexion about the “Room of Awakening” - he was investigating various things on his own. He will be talked about again in Birth by Sleep.

Originally, Vexen worked alone on the Replica Program. Nobody else was told about it; not even Xigbar or Xaldin. Xemnas probably wanted to be as secretive as possible about his desire to create vessels. If any of the members found out his true goal—turning all of them into Xehanort—they would no doubt revolt. The question is, how much did Vexen know of Xehanort’s true aims? Is that why Even was so remorseful? Is that why he was kept away while Lea was looking for Isa in KH3D? Were the writers saving the confrontation between Even and Lea for later? I think so.

Goofy: Gawrsh, Lea sure hurried back to Radiant Garden, and now Master Yen Sid’s sending Riku away, too, on some mystery errand. Ya think we’ll ever get to do something important?

At the end of KH3D, Goofy says Lea hurried back to Radiant Garden. After the confrontation with Xehanort, he looked like something was really bothering him. He stood away from all of the others, completely lost in thought. His facial expression was severe. He just returned after saving Sora, who almost became the 13th vessel. He would now know what Xehanort’s current goal is…and what the original goal of Organization XIII was all along.

Every member was to become a vessel, himself included. The entire time that he was in the Organization, he was told he was working to eventually get his heart back. But that was a bald-faced lie. He could have grown a heart back at any time. Axel never trusted Xemnas anyways, and now his fears are confirmed. He just realized that he wasted the last 10 years of his life, furthering Xemnas’ plan to turn him into a human puppet. And yet, in KH3 he has nothing to say about this horrible truth.

— Comparing the Organisation members when they were human to when they were in the Organisation, apart from Xehanort, only Isa and Braig have differently-shaped ears and differently-coloured eyes - why is this?

It’s a question of whether or not they’re deeply connected to Xehanort. In Braig’s case, comparing the scene where he’s injured in his battle with Terra and flares up at Xehanort, his appearance afterwards changes, which hints that something happened with Xehanort in between.

— By the way, Braig’s dealings with Master Xehanort in Birth by Sleep make sense now, as he was to become a vessel.

There is a certain reason for Braig to proudly exclaim, “I’m already half Xehanort.” Isa (Saïx) is included too. I think you’ll understand the details about their circumstances eventually.

Furthermore, his former best friend is already a human puppet. And not only that, but he’s apparently been one for the entire time he’s been an Organization member. So, Isa either agreed to become a vessel like Braig did…or he was turned into one against his will, like Sora nearly was.

Young Xehanort: We told you. It was not the Sleeping Keyholes that guided you. They are not the reason you are here. You’ve been on a path, one we laid out for you. That sigil on your chest is the proof.

Sora: What?

Young Xehanort: See? That sigil, the X, it tells us where you are at all times. You had wondered aloud before–why we kept showing up where you were. It’s because we need you, Sora. Or, to be more precise, we need what will be left of you–the thirteenth dark vessel.

Unlike Braig, Isa has a Recusant’s Sigil carved on his face. Given this, and the fact that he was being tracked like Sora was, it would appear that he did NOT voluntarily sign up for vessel duty, like Braig did. And why would he? He was just an innocent frisbee-playing teenage boy. What did he possibly have to gain by signing over his heart and consciousness to a madman like Xehanort?

Xemnas: As your flesh bears the sigil, so your name shall be known of that as a recusant.

It’s never explained what this quote of Xemnas means, why he said it during that boss battle, or who it was referring to. Perhaps Xemnas was remembering what he did to Isa while he imagined doing the same to Sora soon. Was this quote supposed to tie into BBSV2?

I suspect that it was, but I have no way of knowing for sure. However, I do know that the only character we ever see with a Recusant’s Sigil on their flesh…is Saïx. This quote indicates that Xemnas marks a person’s flesh before he gives them a new name as a Nobody. Which is totally consistent with the idea that Isa became a vessel through the experiments. There is SO much evidence that Isa was Subject X, that it’s not even funny.

Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Subject’s memories have not returned, and our conversations remain less than lucid. What fragments can be gleaned evoke a bygone world, like one out of fairy tales. As improbable as it seems, the question may not be where she has come from, but when. If she truly has crossed through time, the prospect of probing her heart is all the more compelling. My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse.

This reference to Subject X is worded almost exactly like the darkness experiments, which collapsed every subject’s heart.

As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.

What on earth was happening within the hearts of my six beloved apprentices? While pursuing the mystery of the darkness of the heart, could they themselves have strayed into its depths? Yet I remain the most foolish of all, for having begun these experiments. We are not meant to interfere in the depths of another’s heart, no matter what our reasons for doing so…

When Ansem the Wise found out that his apprentices were experimenting on innocent people without his knowledge, he ordered them to stop and destroy the results of their research.

And my error plunged me into despair. A visitor from another world soothed my dejected soul. A tiny king named Mickey came wielding a legendary key — the infamous “Keyblade,” said to bring both chaos and prosperity to the world.

But he wasn’t banished to the Dark Realm right away. He was still able to meet Mickey and lament over his situation.

I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she. Upon discovering the tests I’ve been conducting, my master demanded that I cease my work immediately and destroy what research I have compiled. Worse still, he ordered the release of my remaining subjects. She is gone. Where is Subject X now? Has “wise” Master Ansem hidden her away? Whatever the case, I will not be deterred.

And Xehanort still had time to complain about Subject X being taken away by Ansem, who also ordered the release of all test subjects.

Recollections

Am I alive? I awoke in a cell, alone until the researchers came with their tests and their prodding to uncover my identity. I had no answer to offer them. Four friends, and a key…that is the sum total of my memory. I could not even recall my name. I was simply called “X” there. My only solace was the time I spent talking with the two boys who would visit from time to time. One day, a man came to take me from the prison. I could not see him for the darkness, save that he wore an eyepatch. Even now, years on, I feel no closer to understanding who or what I am. May my heart be my guiding key.

—Unknown

If Isa was involved in mind control experiments to get him to renounce his sense of self, then he’d be an amnesiac afterwards, just like Subject X was. The experiments on the darkness of the heart, seemed to be heavily inspired by the CIA’s infamous MKUltra program. Project MKULtra was a trauma-based mind control program, developed from research gained by former Nazi scientists.

It used numerous methods to manipulate people’s (even children’s) mental states and alter their brain functions. These included the secret administration of drugs and other chemicals, hypnosis, sensory deprivation, isolation, verbal and sexual abuse, and other forms of torture. And in KH3, we learn that Subject X was indeed subjected to verbal abuse (being called “X” is dehumanizing), isolation, and sensory deprivation (being imprisoned in total darkness).

After his initial experiments on me, Ansem the Wise ceased his research into the heart, his hand stayed by some fear I cannot fathom. Yet this new subject is like me: devoid of memories. She is the perfect sample upon which to continue my master’s work. She, too, could benefit from it; by traversing the heart, we have a direct path into memory. I myself have begun to reclaim my lost past thanks to these very experiments.

Who is she? Whence has she come? These are questions no scientist could ignore. And the words she muttered, “May your heart be your guiding key”…

—Xehanort

This type of torture would make sense if the goal was getting the subject to mentally dissociate. But according to Xehanort, he wanted to help her regain her memories. If she was such a valuable subject to him, and his goal was simply to learn the secrets of her past, why would he subject her to such horrible abuse? What purpose does that serve? Or are they just going to pin everything on Braig (or Luxu…) now, and wipe Xehanort’s hands of everything?

It seems like they just directly plagiarized Isa’s Subject X backstory and did almost nothing to make it actually fit the new plot line with Skuld. They couldn’t even be bothered to change the “X” in Subject X, which has such a strong association with the Recusant’s Sigil.

If Ansem the Wise had found Isa after discovering the human experiments, he would want to help him, the same way he wanted to help Terranort. He would probably use the same experiments on him as he did on Terranort, as a way to atone for his apprentices’ actions. This would explain why Ansem Seeker of Darkness, Xemnas, and Saïx all have orange eyes.

He was very knowledgeable on many topics, and we deepened our friendship as we conversed companionably. Upon his advice, I decided to review the data obtained at my basement lab. That is when I discovered the “Ansem’s Reports.” Though they bore my name, the only one I had written was number 0. Apparently he had gone on to pen numbers 1 through 8 himself. Yes — the first subject in my foolish experiments.

The apprentices didn’t decide to banish Ansem until he found “Ansem’s Reports” after he met King Mickey.

Xigbar: How long ago was it… When a bunch of warriors wielding key-shaped swords appeared and unleashed a spectacular battle. And when it was all over, all that was left was a man lying unconscious without his memories. Xemnas–Uh, I mean Xehanort, was found by Ansem right around then, wasn’t he?

Zexion: Your point?

Xigbar: The “Chamber of Repose”. If you recall, that’s where we spent our time researching the darkness that resides within people’s hearts. It’s a graveyard that was sealed by order of Ansem the Wise. The first thing Xemnas did once he got rid of him was to undo the seal and build a room in the back.

After Ansem is banished to the Realm of Darkness, Xemnas unseals the “graveyard”, and creates the Chamber of Repose.

— KH’s Ansem (Xehanort) seems to have thoroughly gotten rid of his own heart, but Xemnas (Xehanort) commanding Organization XIII is seeking a fresh heart. If I understand that in becoming a heartless and a nobody, they became 2 different people, would their minds then as well become separate? Also, the original Xehanort should have some memory loss but in the additional scenes this time there seem to be some questionable parts. Have his memories returned, or perhaps the memory loss itself was a lie?

In essence, the two are the same. However, they function under separate minds.

Despite being the Nobody of both Terra and Xehanort, Xemnas is another self of Xehanort. He is simply acting under a different mind from “Ansem”. Thanks to Ansem the Wise’s experiments on the heart and memory, he fully recovers from his amnesia and remembers Master Xehanort’s goal to create the X-Blade and 13 vessels. He ALSO has full access to all of Terra’s memories now, despite Terra’s heart being captured.

Xigbar: Ever since then, he holes himself up in that room when he can, and he talks to someone.

Because of this, Xemnas knows exactly what Terra would think, how he would act, and what he would say in any given situation. He is able to impersonate Terra perfectly. It works. He talks to Aqua, and she almost tells him where Ventus is hidden.

— So then, why is Xemnas of Organization XIII searching for Ven?Well, there’s still some time between the ending of ‘Birth by Sleep’ and ‘KHI’, so…

Somehow, Xemnas became aware of Ven’s situation. Aqua has hidden him away. His heart is not broken. He still has the potential to be used as a vessel. In fact, he’s a perfect candidate. He’s asleep, therefore he has no sense of self, and his heart is still intact. Xemnas becomes obsessed with finding him.

Nomura: It is a fact that Saïx and Axel probably wanted to take over the Organization, however they didn’t understand what they were going to do or how to do it. As for Xemnas, he knew about this betrayal, but never brought it up. Generally, one’s conduct was for the sake of their purpose.

Likewise, since Ansem the Wise also performed the memory experiments on Isa, his Nobody, Saïx–still another Xehanort—now has access to all of Isa’s memories as a human. And since Xehanort shares a heart and consciousness with Saïx, Xemnas has access to them, as well. He knows ALL about their plans to overthrow him. But he does nothing about it. Even though Axel went against direct orders and assassinated Vexen, who was spearheading the Replica Program.

Xemnas knows how loyal Axel is to Saïx. If Axel believes Saïx is his old friend, he will tell him confidential information that he wouldn’t tell anyone else. Xemnas has access to Saïx’s mind, so he’d be privy to everything Axel tells him. So Xemnas simply allows Saïx to think he’s Isa, and he allows Axel to believe the same. It’s perfect, really. Axel was a double agent, but he’s being played even harder by Xemnas. He’s NO threat to Xehanort. Just a useful tool.

Vexen: The dark power given to Riku facilitated his escape from its realm.

Zexion: What I want to know is why he appeared here in Castle Oblivion.

Vexen: That’s really quite simple. His existence resonates with that of another hero.

Since Axel was getting closer and closer to Roxas, he kept getting sent back to Castle Oblivion to search for the Chamber of Waking. Xemnas hopes that Axel will resonate with Ventus, leading him to the chamber.

— Is it possible that Roxas has a heart?It is thought that it could be Ventus’ heart. In KHII FM there were clues to him having a heart, and in Days we saw Roxas crying proof that he could have a heart. As was said in Question 1, he has taken a lot of himself from Ventus. But perhaps when Sora and Roxas were separated, Ventus’ heart stayed in Roxas.

However, since Ven’s heart was actually inside of Roxas, Axel never finds the chamber. This is why Roxas and Ventus having separate hearts makes NO sense whatsoever. Roxas simply being an alternate persona of Ventus was fundamentally tied into the main plot and the Chamber of Waking.

Xigbar: “You’re not supposed to be here!”

Lea: “Promises to keep. I’ll always be there to get my friends back. What, bad timing? You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel. Now, let’s find out what happens!”

Xigbar: “What now, you old coot? Our time is up!”

Lea: “Isa!”

In addition to their plans to overthrow him, Xehanort knows exactly how close Lea and Isa were as humans. His smirk showed that he knew exactly how to throw Lea off-guard in KH3D. He’d transfer his consciousness into just the right vessel, and use Isa to attack him.

Xemnas: The poor fool. How long will he keep chasing the illusion of friendship, when he himself lacks emotion? Trying so hard to retrieve what he has lost, when it may never have existed in the first place. He deserves nothing more than our pity.

When Axel finally turns on the Organization in pursuit of Roxas, Xemnas apparently finds it amusing. He’s STILL chasing the “illusion” of friendship. He speaks as if Axel has been chasing an illusion for years and years, long before Roxas ever joined up. Xemnas finds Axel utterly and thoroughly pitiful.

Xemnas: “Ah, ever the rogue pawn. Knocked from the board early in the game. Utterly useless and forgotten.

I have no doubt that Xemnas was referring to Axel’s relationship with Saïx here as well. Saïx may have refused to attack Lea, which no doubt angered Xemnas. After all, he hates that the heart is so powerful, even he can’t fully control it. Nonetheless, as far as Xemans is concerned, the real Isa is still dead. Lea is utterly useless and he’s been forgotten about. At least he gets to rub that in the dirty traitor’s face. The entire time Xemnas is fighting Lea, Saïx doesn’t move.

He just stares as the camera focuses on his face. Xemnas then destroys Lea’s Keyblade, leaving him totally helpless. As Xemnas approaches Lea to finish him off, the camera positions Saïx to be between them. Xemnas also turns his back to Saïx, both literally and figuratively. This positioning sends a subtle, yet powerful message. Xemnas believes he is fully in control of the situation. He is not the slightest bit worried about the person standing behind him.

Xemnas: Our plans have been dashed by you…far more times than I care to count.…Now it ends. I will purge that light in you…with darkness!”

When Xemnas is about to finish Lea off, Saïx should finally have taken action and been the one to defend him from Xemnas’ attack. NOT XION!!!! I just cannot emphasize this enough. This was the moment of truth for Saïx. The story spent years building up to it. This moment would have proven that the real Isa was still there, and that his heart never forgot his best friend Lea…

Isa: “Well, you may be a really small part of my memories, but at least you’ll never disappear.”

…Exactly like he promised him all those years ago. This single moment encapsulates the fundamental idea behind Isa’s entire character arc. Saïx has the Recusant’s Sigil carved directly on his face. The X-shaped scar is a symbol of his total submission to Xehanort’s will and authority.

But a “recusant” is defined as a person who refuses to submit to authority or comply with a regulation. This was Isa’s CROWNING MOMENT. The very moment that he would earn his place eating ice cream and playing on the beach with everyone in the epilogue.

I’m sorry, but Xion had ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS stealing that moment from Isa. It made SO little sense for her to be there, anyways. And now we’re being asked to dish out even more money through DLC…to learn why she arrives just in time to ruin Isa’s entire character arc? Um…thanks, but no thanks. I’m not paying a dime for that. The creator of Xion is also the writer of the KH novels. And I would bet that even she is appalled at what became of the story. Based on the novels, I could tell she respected Lea’s relationship with Isa just as much as she respected his relationship with Xion.

#kh meta #kh #anti-kh3 #kh org #organization xiii #kh3 spoilers #kh axel #kh saix #kh lea #kh isa #kh xion #kh xemnas #kh roxas #kh xaldin #kh vexen #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts meta #leaisa #akusai

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aliceslantern · 5 years

Text

Beyond this Existence, Counterpoint, chapter 11

Summary: After being recompleted, Ienzo vows to do everything in his power to atone for the atrocities he committed in the past. But this life hasn't been easy, and he's plagued with memories and nightmares. When Demyx suddenly reappears, the two discover that they have more in common than they thought, though the secrets in their past might tear them apart. Zemyx (Demyx/Ienzo), post kh3

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

It seemed to grow piercingly cold all at once. The next day they ended up having to go to the market for warmer clothing. Four days had passed, between sleep and trauma. Ienzo found himself dreading to return to the research, which was unusual. He wanted to help Sora, desperately, but at the same time, he’d been experiencing so much--good and bad--lately that he wasn’t sure he could have a clear head.

He would just have to try his best, and, if need be, ask for help. He’d finally started to make some progress, after all.

The day passed quickly and relatively peacefully. Ienzo did feel a lot better, no longer plagued by the headaches and dizziness that had no doubt been a result of sleep deprivation. His anxiety, too, was much more manageable, though he guessed this might be because he was spending so much time with Demyx.

Ienzo was in love.

As a teenage Nobody, he’d read some romance novels, mostly to try and gain some insight as to what this all meant in the world, especially for the Somebodies he’d been put in charge of observing or manipulating. He’d always found such descriptions of love melodramatic and overblown, lacking grounding in reality. Of course, the fact that most of these novels were written for heterosexual couples might change things too.

He felt the precise opposite of that dissociative, codependent infatuation. He’d hardly ever felt more awake, and more himself. Maybe that was why he was so afraid to leave the safety of this week. This stability and peace was so very tenuous.

Demyx helped him make dinner. He tried to take the instructions Ienzo gave him, he really did, but his knife cuts were not very clean or uniform. Ienzo couldn’t help but wonder how Demyx had been raised. With some things he was so practical and capable, but yet he couldn’t dice onions.

“Why’d you learn to cook?” Demyx asked him.

Ienzo checked the recipe. They were making a sort of bouillabaisse. He measured out a few different spices. “Perhaps you’ve noticed, but we apprentices tend to view our bodies more as vessels for the mind more than anything else. The meals I were raised on were nutritious, but bland. It frustrated me when I was younger, so I did research.” He shrugged. “It’s something I enjoy doing. Objective. Harmless.” It was the closest to artistry he could get.

Demyx pointed to the still-fading scar on his hand.

“ Largely harmless,” he corrected. “More so than my other research. Are those carrots ready?” That brought him, inevitably, to spiraling about Sora. He had to be careful. But wasn’t time of the essence? The more time Ienzo spent away from his work, the farther Sora was drifting from all of them. Ienzo reached over and corrected Demyx’s cuts before mixing them into the pot.

“Are you beating yourself up again?” Demyx asked. “We’ve talked about this.”

“You always ask questions about me. That doesn’t seem fair. Tell me more about you.”

He started slicing down the potatoes in front of him. “There’s not a whole lot to know,” he said. “You know about as much about me as I do.”

“...So you haven’t remembered anything else?” Demyx’s heart should be complete by now. This amnesia was concerning. Was it all trauma and repression? Or had Xehanort’s heart done more damage to him than they’d originally thought? But then Even’s memories should be scattered too, and by all accounts they weren’t. Worry tightened in his throat.

He sighed. “There is one thing,” he said. “Um, it’s kind of a doozy though.”

Ienzo looked up. Really it had only been a month or so since Demyx’s return. Did he just need time? “Pray tell.”

Demyx set down the knife. “Well. Don’t freak out. But--”

Ansem’s voice broke the moment. “Oh, boys, that smells absolutely incredible.”

“Ienzo did all the work,” Demyx said without making eye contact. “I’m just moral support.”

“That’s not true. He’s trying,” Ienzo said. “It’ll be ready in about an hour. I hope you’ll be joining us?”

“I shall.” He paused slightly. “You look much improved. Perhaps I shall take a page out of Demyx’s book.”

“I am… feeling rather better.” This was the first time Ienzo had spoken to Ansem since he’d found out about the relationship. He couldn’t pretend it wasn’t awkward. It had been all too easy to avoid him, lest he feel the need to give his two cents, or worse, try to feign parenting. When it came to something this personal, he did not need unsolicited advice.

“And you were both able to find good things for winter?”

“Yeah. Thanks again,” Demyx said.

Ansem smiled. “Like I said, I wish for you to be comfortable here. Winters in Radiant Garden can be… bracing, if one is not used to it. I can feel it even now. Perhaps, Demyx, if you wouldn’t mind, you can help Aeleus light the boilers sometime in the next coming days?”

Demyx blinked. “I don’t know why I’d be the right one for the job.”

“He needs assistance. I’m afraid with all of us tied up in our work, and Dilan still acting as guard, we’re one pair of hands short.”

“I’m happy to help,” Demyx mumbled. He turned back to his potatoes.

Awkwardness aside, Ienzo wanted to ask about the state of the research. No doubt Ansem had been investigating as well. It took a great deal of restraint not to ask. The model's face, so alive, so like the real thing, flashed behind his eyes. He felt recovered, but that didn’t mean he was. Still, his hands trembled.

“I shall see you in an hour,” Ansem said.

“I’ll hold you to it,” Ienzo said. He added some thyme to the soup. “Well. What is it you wanted to tell me?”

“...Nothing. It can wait.” He smiled.

“So you’re happy to help,” Ienzo said. Flirting was new to him, but he liked it. A new and unexplored use of wit. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to talk up Master Ansem, or if I’ve been a good influence on you.”

He seemed to hesitate, but really only for a fraction of a second. “Neither. It really is cold as fuck in here!”

“I’m afraid even with the heating it doesn’t get much better. This place is very old, poorly insulated. You’d better brace yourself. Though admittedly… it occurs to to me there is one way to keep warm.” Before he could lose his nerve, Ienzo kissed him. Part of him wondered, briefly, if he was only doing this to distract himself; warmth and want chased off the anxiety. Humanity was so manipulable. He'd always wondered why.

“Ienzo!” Demyx gasped in surprise.

He felt his face warm. “When this week ends, we won’t have that much time together,” Ienzo said.

He brushed a finger against Ienzo's lip. “I’m not going to let you overwork yourself like that again. You can’t get rid of me.”

“Is that a promise?”

Demyx kissed him back equally as deeply, pulling his fingers through his hair and trailing down to his throat. The only thing that interrupted them was the loud sloshing as the pot boiled over. Ienzo swore and dropped the burner’s heat to “low.” “Later?” Demyx asked.

Another surge of anticipation, stronger this time. “Later.”

After all that, dinner was a bit of a fiasco. The food came out alright, despite the cream overheating. The apprentices’ old hierarchy was still very much in place; thinking nothing of it, Demyx had sat next to Ienzo, not realizing it was Even’s place. Nobody really outwardly commented, though Dilan did smirk. He’d always been a glutton for drama. Seeing them all here, gathered together, Ienzo felt something akin to embarrassment. The truth of their relationship had already been revealed, but to have it acknowledged added a strange layer of tension to the air. This sort of thing had never happened before.

“I see you’re feeling well, Ienzo,” Even said sweetly. “What is it you’ve both done to keep yourselves busy?”

The impudence of this made the blood rise in his face, but Ienzo replied pleasantly, paring the truth down to something palatable and non-incriminating.

“I am sure we’re all glad to see you back in good health,” Even said to him. “I just hope that this new development does not cloud your judgement going forward. To be young and… caught up in such matters, can no doubt impede your critical thinking. However natural it is.”

Demyx’s eyes flashed, but he said nothing.

Ienzo set down the cup of tea he was drinking. “Clearly you have thought on the subject, and I appreciate your concern. But I feel as though I am just as able to take on my research as I ever were. Not that I have asked for your advice. Should you have more to say on the matter, please let us discuss it in private.”

Even turned faintly pink.

“You needn’t worry about me anymore,” Ienzo said, a bit more gently. “I… I’m not the little boy I was.”

Even shook his head. “I will always worry about you,” he said. “After all, I’ve so much time to make up for.”

After a rather pregnant silence, Demyx cleared his throat. “Anyone want seconds?”

They both did the dishes. Ienzo was extra cautious to make sure that no knives were lying around. They returned to his room, though the mood from before had been spoiled. Demyx sat on the bed. Ienzo turned towards the window, looking out at the town wreathed in fading light. “I must apologize for Even. It was incredibly rude for him to be so suggestive.”

Demyx joined him. “Why? Everyone knows.”

“They used to be… quite protective of me,” he said, with a shake of his head.

“I think it’s nice they care so much about you.”

“They don’t… dislike you,” he said. He flinched at the double negative.

“They think I'm not good enough for you. And they're right."

Ienzo took his hand and sat down next to him. “I don’t think you understand the impact you’ve had on me,” he said quietly. “If it were not for you, I’d still be there, miserable and working myself to death, unable to find any value in myself aside from needing to atone. I… I know the mistakes I made cannot be undone, but I… I’m better. Destroying myself isn’t going to fix what I did. You’ve… brought me back to reality. And if they don’t realize that, then they’re worse off. I wish they could see what I see in you. Your kindness, your patience, your emotional intelligence.”

Demyx shook his head.

“Healing is a slow, tedious, constant process. You can’t allow yourself to get caught up in moments like these. They don’t matter.” He touched Demyx’s face. “You do. We do.”

Demyx blushed. “I didn’t realize you were such a romantic,” he said.

“I… still have a few things to learn.” He kissed him gently.

Intimacy was still new and shocking to him, though at least he had somewhat of an idea of what to expect. Ienzo didn’t want to be so passive this time. He pulled his legs around Demyx’s waist and kissed him along the throat, along the soft spot that always made he himself feel weak. Demyx responded by pulling him down on top of him.

"I admit," Ienzo whispered. "All of this is... very new to me still. But I think I'm starting to understand."

Ienzo wondered if he should tell him, if he should say it out loud. But he had to know already. Everything he’d just said meant ten times more. He felt Demyx reach for the buttons of his pants and figured maybe now was not the time for talking. Clothing having been dealt with, Ienzo touched him, rivers of veins and muscle and bone, and scars. He kissed them and found that he’d been right about it also being pleasurable for Demyx, if the reaction he felt meant anything. He could feel it too, heavy and delicious and impermanent. To a degree, what Even said about this muddying thought was completely accurate. But was it such a sin to try and stop thinking for a few moments? The hand he'd been propping himself up with tightened against the sheets. "I want to..." Ienzo's voice sounded strange, a little like someone else's. "I want to do this for you. I--" His experience with such frustration was minimal, but he couldn't imagine it was easy.

He bit his lip a little and brushed Ienzo's hair out of his eyes. "If you're not ready--"

His face burned feverishly. He could only imagine how ridiculous he must look. "I am ready. And I want to. I just... I'm not, technically speaking, sure how?" He should probably try it on himself one of these days, if only to know the difference in sensation, but the thought was so jarring he pushed it away.

Demyx laughed a little. "Do you remember what I did to you?"

He nodded. The memory of it almost made him gasp out loud.

"Something like that."

He smiled shakily. "This isn't really something you read about in books."

"I guess it wouldn't be."

This shouldn't be difficult. He wanted to do it, to make him feel good as well. Yet finding the nerve took some time. Ienzo kissed him. He tried to will the trembling in his hands to stop. His hand brushed against Demyx's waist and hip and thigh. The scarred skin was warm. Demyx kissed him harder, his hand tangling in Ienzo's hair. This distraction was enough for him to touch his (what was it called in such moments? Wasn't "penis" too medical?) dick. The skin there was softer than he though, more natural. At least it was somewhat familiar in terms of structure. He stroked it gently and heard a small sound catch in Demyx's throat.

Ienzo pulled away from the kiss. "Was that alright?"

He nodded, unable to catch his breath. "Just a little bit more towards the--"

He tried to oblige. There was a sort of pleasure in doing this. He felt Demyx start to touch him too and tried to copy that. The awkward self-consciousness began to fade, replaced with the same lovely thoughtlessness as before. It was amazing that the body was capable of such pure joy. Little waves of it broke over him, heightening the tension within. He wove the trust and love into his touch and felt the same in return. The vulnerability did not feel so much like a weakness as a strength. It was okay. The rising, tightening feeling in him was recognizable now. He tried briefly to hold it back, but the need for release was just too tempting. He heard Demyx gasp as he came against him.

“I see,” Ienzo said softly, pressing a kiss into his sweaty brow. “It really is simpler than I thought.” The stress had been for naught.

Demyx lay back. “I swear this is not indicative of how long I usually last.”

Ienzo laughed. He shifted off of him, onto his side. “So do you feel better?”

“ So much better.”

He did too. The utter lack of anxiety was intoxicating. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He leaned against him. “You’ve been so patient with me.”

“It wasn’t all for you. Everything feels so different than it normally does. Plus I… I’m not used to the emotional part of it.”

“The sense of connection is… certainly unique. If I’ve learned anything, emotions are always capable of becoming more overwhelming. No matter their strength.”

Demyx hummed in response. For few minutes, or however long they remained knotted up together, he felt perfectly at peace. If there was anything to worry about, there was a later in which to do it.

“What the hell is that?” Demyx asked.

“My gummiphone. Though I have no idea who would be calling.” He got up and pulled on a robe, then reached into his lab coat pocket for the phone. “I’m sorry. I have to see who it is. Hello?”

“Ienzo? Are you busy?” Roxas’s voice, garbled.

“No, I’m not. What is it?”

It was hard to tell exactly what he was saying. Something about “worldlines.” Anxiety, or panic, made Roxas speak quickly.

“Slow down. The signal is not very good.”

“Are there universes other than this one? Like parallel universes? Xehanort mentioned something about worldlines but when I tried to ask Ansem about it he didn’t answer.”

That was so like Ansem. He probably hadn’t even heard the phone ring. “Well I do suppose it’s possible but I’ve had no insight this past week as to what he’s been up to, I fell ill and was resting--” He only knew about the Worldlines Theory vaporously--because it was just that, theory.

“Are you sick?”

“No, I’m alright now. And yourself? You sound distressed.”

“I mean I think I am? And then Riku went over to Yen Sid to ask more about it, and well, he said it’s possible, especially with the power of waking. They said Sora broke the rules of the power and walked between worlds. So they think that, if he’s done that, he’s in another worldline. Ienzo, do you know anything?”

Yes. Yes, it was all making sense. How had he not even taking the power of waking into account? He’d assumed it had all to do with hearts. He’d been wrong. “I understand,” he said woodenly. “I’m afraid if that’s the situation then… I’ll try my best, but you must realize the prognosis is not good.”

“Can you check in your research? See if anyone knows anything?”

“Yes, I’ll let you know. Try and take care.” He hung up. His mind was spinning but no good thoughts came from it. He sat down on the bed.

“What happened?” Demyx asked. “Who was that?”

“It was Roxas. They think Riku’s got a lock on Sora’s location.”

“But isn’t that… good? Then why are you both upset?”

Ienzo was wringing his hands. “Because he’s not in this reality. We’ve no way to get him back. Wherever he is… he’s there, alone. And there’s nothing we can do about it.”

#beyond this existence: counterpoint #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #demyx/ienzo #beyond this existence

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