#so i feel like this is my obligatory “henry” looking design

[metamatronic]

*checks notes* Cassie’s dad is a good dad because I said so.

#cassie fnaf #cassie’s dad #bonnie bro #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fnaf ruin #fnaf security breach #art #doodles #digital art #those who go here know my henry is a shitbag and my william is innocent #plus they’re twins so their designs aren’t all that different #so i feel like this is my obligatory “henry” looking design #also how do we feel about the name ben? does he seem like a ben? #bennie sounds like bonnie and that’s all i got #fnaf help wanted 2 #fnaf hw2

[sebastianshaw]

Rando Munday ramblings! For new followers, on Munday sometimes I just post a bunch of personal stuff I normally wouldn’t. Not usually anything intimately personal, more like random thoughts and news that just isn’t relevant to the blog in any way, not related to X-Men or RP or writing in general, etc. ....there’s a lot of Hannibal today, sorry, I’m rewatching it.

- I definitely wanna have a pair of critters named Hannibal and Hasdrubal at some point, maybe if there's a third I'd name him Hamilcar. I know everyone will think I named them after Hannibal Lector but actually these are really common names from Ancient Carthage. Like if you look at Carthagian history and records, everyone is Hannibal, Hasdrubal, or Hamilcar, it's like John, James, and Jim. I'd prefer the pair, though, since Hannibal and Hasdrubal were a pair of brothers and famous historical figures, so it would feel much more like a "set" that way (whereas they did not have a brother called Hamilcar) - Speaking of Hannibal Lector, I knew he was based on a real person, but I did not realize that person was a gay Mexican man. That’s...an interesting example of gay history, for sure. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Thomas Harris (the writer of the books that the films and later the TV series were based on) based Hannibal on a surgeon he met while interviewing an inmate at prison for another novel. This surgeon was so intelligent and charismatic that Harris implicitly assumed that he was a doctor in the employ of the prison. Nope---the doctor was an inmate himself. Harris was so shaken by the encounter that it inspired him to create Hannibal Lector, who, in contrast to the typical media portrayals of serial killers as uncontrolled lunatic slashers like Michael Myers or Leatherface, is a charming, culture, charismatic intellectual. To protect the man’s identity, Harris called him “Dr. Salazar” in interviews, so that was always how I knew him. I just now learned not only was his real name Alfredo Balli Trevino, but his victim was Jesus Castillo Rangel, his male lover. Harris describes him as a small, lithe man with dark red hair and, unsurprisingly, “a certain elegance about him”. Though Trevino was given the death penalty for his crimes, his sentence was commuted to 20 years and he was released in either 1980 or 1981. He died in in 2009 when he was 81 years old. He reportedly spent the last years of his life helping the poor and elderly, and he expressed deep regret for his “dark past”---which I suppose makes sense, since his crime was that he killed a lover in a fit of rage during an argument, whereas Hannibal simply killed people in cold blood whom he had no attachment to because he liked eating them (something Trevino never did) and to punish them for rudeness. - I’ve decided to stop buying silk, unless it's from a thrift store and thus my money won't go to supporting sericulture. Ahimsa silk isn't an option either, the bugs aren't technically killed but they're not treated well either. I know it might seem weird to eat meat and wear leather and yet not want to purchase something that hurt moths and larva, but...I have to eat meat for medical reasons, and my leather purchases is limited to boots that I then keep for YEARS AND YEARS so it's very sparing. There's really no such thing as a cruelty-free diet or lifestyle, whether that cruelty is suffered by animals or by other humans, but I can still make choices that at least lesson some small aspect of harm. I need to eat meat, I don't need real silk. ...Haven only wears bamboo silk for this reason and when this came up with Shaw, he absolutely thought she was fucking with him, like even SHE can’t be THIS insane, NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT BUGS WTF - The books nearest to me right now are “Women Who Run With The Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype ” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, The Norton Anthology of English Literature: The Romantic Period, “X-Men: The Legacy Quest Trilogy” by Steve Lyons, two  horror anthologies, the script for “M. Butterfly” by David Henry Hwang, “The Spanish Riding School of Vienna: Tour of America 2005″ book I got from when I went to see the Lippizanner horses perform, and a big beautiful leatherbound English translation of “The Flowers of Evil” by Charles Baudelaire. This is...this is a summary of my whole personality, sans rodents. Also god I need to clean my room. - Something I've noticed is that many sci-fi horror films that do the whole "science went too far against nature!!!" thing....don't actually have the problem result from the lack of ethics involved or because the scientists did something "unnatural", it happens because they didn't follow basic safety precautions, lab protocol, common sense, etc. "Splice" for instance, is a really good example---the problem isn't that they made a part-human hybrid, that's not why shit goes wrong, shit goes wrong because the two scientists act like idiots, adopt the creation as a child, hide it in their barn instead of a sterile controlled environment, and then one of them HAS SEX WITH IT. Or in "The Fly" the problem isn't that Brundle invented a teleporter, it's that he tested it ON HIMSELF while he was ALL ALONE. Even in "Jurassic Park" the issue is less that dinosaurs are breeding and more the result of a disgruntled worker who was given way too much power over being able to run things, and thus shut them down when he wants to. So many "science gone wrong!" movies end up not really being condemnations of science itself, so much as depicting scientists as utter dumbasses. Which, on the one hand, I do like, because I dislike the notion of condemning scientific progress just because it seems icky or creepy or "goes against nature" (so do vaccines, I still like those!) But on the other hand, the movies don't FRAME it as "this is the result of failure to practice science safely and sensibly" they frame it as "they should never have attempted such an unnatural thing and this disaster is punishment for a moral sin" even though the issue doesn't happen because what the scientists did was "wrong" it happens because they do something DUMB. - Bringing it back to Hannibal, I reached the episode where Margot Verger first appears, and if I have one big disappointment about the Hannibal series, it's Margot. In the books, she's a huge butch lesbian, literally and figuratively. In the TV series, she's a pretty femme fashionista like all the other women, and she fucks Will in order to get pregnant. At the time this came out in 2013, I tried to be all resigned and fair-minded about this. I was like "ok, well, they didn't want to be offensive with a stereotype, and I guess that's fair, I guess not hurting people matters more to me than getting the horseback-riding bulldyke hearthrob of my high school years on-screen at last" but you know what? No. Firstly, butch lesbians deserve representation too. How many have you ever seen onscreen, let alone in a mainstream media production? Sure, it's a stereotype, but it's not an inherently negative one, they just get treated that way in media because society sees it that way. But the way to handle butch lesbians and femme gay men and so on isn't to erase them from the screen, it's to start writing them as human beings and not caricatures or jokes or monsters. Margot is a fleshed-out human being, she's nuanced and twisted and hurt like everyone else in this series, she would be PERFECT for that. She wouldn't be just a butch lesbian, she'd be a CHARACTER who just also happens to be a butch lesbian. I don't really think she was changed to avoid "hurting" lesbians, I think she was changed because the director, gay man or not, clearly has a way he wants the women in his series to look (they're all fashion plates, all have long hair, all very sophisticated, etc) and book Margot didn't fit his aesthetic, his design if you will. Because god forbid we just make her a DAPPER dyke, right? Back to having sex with Will, which most certainly did NOT happen in the books...that's not bad itself in a VACUUM, fucking men to get a baby is something real-life lesbians do, I had a friend in college who was actually conceived that way, but like...no media exists in a vacuum, and there is very little depiction of lesbians in media that doesn't feature them fucking men for SOME reason or another. They want a baby, or they start the story with a boyfriend, or they're actually bisexual, or they're even raped, but there's always SOME reason we have to watch a guy fucking them and it's frankly distressing. Like, remember Irene Adler in BBC's Sherlock? It's a pattern. And I'm not saying lesbians who have had a sexual past with men, or who were the victims of sexual violence by men, don't deserve representation, I would never say that, those are very common experiences, I'm not saying "gold stars only", I'm saying that there is a strong pattern in media where it seems almost obligatory that a lesbian has to have sex with or be attracted to men at some point, while comparatively the opposite case, where a lesbian is depicted as exclusively and only attracted to and "with" other women, is seldom there. And it's just kind of a kick in the nads for me, as I think it was for a lot of other lesbians, butch or not, that a gay director took an opportunity like Margot Verger and turned her into just another attractive lipstick lesbian that is okay with having sex with the male protagonist as a treat tee hee (Spoiler: She does end up with Alana though, which I appreciate)

#out of shirt #munday #mun monday

[eb-byestelle]

My own harem? Why not ;] - Tag Game

@acdooodles When I saw your post, I claimed that I can't refuse to myself this pleasure and not create my own list ^^

The rule is to list your top 10 husbandos (as in fictional characters from tv shows, video games, and/or anime), and then tag people.

10. Henri Samuel Jean Amiée, Yoh Tomoe (Starry Sky) 

A beautiful, French romantic, a fascinator of astronomy. He looks for this "one star", his loved one, and when he finds her, he decides to escape to the other side of the world to see her. And when he sees her, he expresses his feelings with words and gestures without inhibitions. Only take! xD

9. Dion (Braceface) 

An eccentric individualist who doesn’t care about opinion. The passionat, who dresses under the table in the library a dress made of paper, which he designed by himself, listening on the occasion to Celin Dion. For what to wonder longer xD <3 

 8. Andy Larkin (What's with Andy?) 

Quoting the description from one website, "A brilliant physicist, chemist, engineer, constructor and inventor in one". Besides, the dodger and the genius of crime, in each episode he loses his pants, it's his "trademark." He knows, what it means to "devote himself for the art" XD

7. Alberto Valentino (Ikoku Irokoi Romantan) 

Another romantic? What's more, seducer? What's more, Bi? Why not? ;D This time as an Italian sailor. He knows how to seduce in the elevator, how to make good spagetti and flee by helicopter at dawn with his beloved. It's someone for me! ;]] <3

6. Travis Strong (Radio Free Roscoe)

A devotee of philosophy, smart, funny, otaku, truant, hosts an illegal radio station, travels around the whole world. I'm taking my suitcase and I'm going with you! :D

5. Alucard (Hellsing) 

"The best prayer is action!" That's your quote, which I love until now :D Full of darkness, sometimes ruthless and cruel, almost crazy, but with a golden soul, born earl.

4. Ichijou Ryouma

Once again Bi xd ^^ You love your the one just like this person is. You’re able to do everything to make happy your loved one and, even when it means the kneeling in the middle of the street or lack of sleep throughout the night. Sensitive, handsome, totally sweetheart!

3. Jinguuji Ren (Uta no prince-sama) 

Absolute sex icon, passionate seducer, always confident, always relaxed, a little bit dangerous xD but I like a dangers xD

2. Aijima Cecil (Uta no prince-sama) 

Ren, you'll have in harem a friend from the band :D ^^ You like each other, so somehow you'll get along xd ^^ Boy with a personality of adorable elf who has just escaped from the forest + talented, beautiful prince + your Agnadance ^^ = You are landing on this list right now !! xD

1. Victor Nikiforov (Yuri!!! on Ice) 

Another Bi, who cares? xD super-handsome, full of ideas, nice, funny, cheerful, brave, full of feelings. An obligatory position on this list!

Grand Prix - Kaname Kuran (Vampire Knight)

What can I say? ^^ You appear on this blog quite often not without reason xD absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, gentle, romantic, protective, passionate, real induvidualist, I could to enumerate like this until tomorrow, and probably I wouldn't end up ^^ I also get the impression that he's a bit an accumulation of the best features of the predecessors ;] Perfect match and an incredible man <3 <3

I don’t tag anyone. Let’s have fun, whoever, who will found it ;)

#Personal #tag game #EB - By Estelle #my own harem ^^

[ahouseoflies]

Best Films of 2017, Part IV

We’re getting closer. Part I, Part II, Part III. GOOD MOVIES 42. A Quiet Passion (Terence Davies)- I think the biggest strength of this film, a pretty conventional one by Davies's standards, is a drive inward that is steady but not judgmental. Dickinson's retreat isn't treated as tragedy, but as a natural trajectory that was there in the first scene. (A lot of the heavy lifting is done by Emma Bell, the actress who plays young Emily with constancy.) The life of the mind is a lonely one, but there isn't much choice in the matter. The film moves along in a leisurely way, matching the long days of such privileged people, and it's funny until the bon mots drift into Frank Underwood territory that doesn't make sense. And the parts of the movie that don't work, the ones that succumb to the biopic mold, feel like that: told in the cadence of a joke but a bit empty. 41. Stronger (David Gordon Green)- For most of its running time, Stronger is a raw film bolstered by searing, sharply felt lead performances. It doesn't take the easy way out or succumb to cliche, suggesting that, gasp, maybe being a symbol for an entire city could be exhausting and frustrating. Then, quite quickly, it gives in to all of the cliches. The conversation with Carlos would have been an awesome deleted scene. 40. Split (M. Night Shyamalan)- Shyamalan flat-out knows how to make this kind of movie. It's not without its faults--can you even complain about his tendency to cast himself anymore?--but his cross-cutting game hasn't slipped a beat. The film is composed and patient, but it doesn't trespass the self-indulgent line the way that some of his earlier work does. Some of the abuse stuff is handled clumsily, but I suppose it has to match the touch of the psychology material, which can only be breezy and flippant. Here's what's different about the filmmaker's approach: Shyamalan hasn't guided many actors to great performances. (I guess Haley Joel Osment is still number one.) But this movie is James McAvoy's performance. He gets to have fun technically by switching back and forth among the personas, but the serious business is the fact that the whole thing's tone rests on his shoulders. Like many successful B movies, it has a fluidity that allows the audience to laugh at it, laugh with it, or be genuinely scared--sometimes in a span of minutes. If McAvoy hadn't gone all the way, the movie wouldn't have been able to.

39. Molly’s Game (Aaron Sorkin)- This movie has a lot of the things that make me love movies. A scene in which someone flushes drugs down the toilet and hides valuables because the feds are coming. Self-effacing but rousing speeches that reference classic literature. An "I'm good for it" sequence dedicated to someone's gambling downward spiral. Cleavage. But all of the things I'm describing are window dressing, and this is maybe the first Aaron Sorkin screenplay that has more fat than meat, as tasty as that fat may be. The film's thesis shines in Idris Elba's strangely-accented monologue, the one that starts with "Is this what a RICO suspect looks like?" It seems to suggest that the world is indeed rigged against women, but it might be because they have more integrity than men, which makes it more difficult for them to succeed. It's an interesting notion, and the figure at the center of the film might be perfect to prove it, but there are so many flashbacks and scenes that feel obligatory to get us there. 38. Star Wars: The Last Jedi (Rian Johnson)- Good, if micro-managed in the way that a film-as-shareholder-commodity has to be. It's interesting to me that, though there are only nine movies that take place in this universe, the storytelling is more codified than any other genre I can think of. Even though it's less clinical than The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi has to jump through an inordinate number of hoops to be "a Star Wars movie." No matter how these are sold, they all have the same beats. That history is a gift in some ways. Even though we haven't heard from him in thirty-plus years, Jedi Master Luke's personality tracks in every way. It makes total sense how he would hold people up as symbols instead of personalities, and the movie benefits from the archetypes its predecessors have created. On the other hand, I think we spend thirty minutes on a mission that fails, and the movie hangs Finn out to dry. It's a sort of Empire mandate that the characters have to be separated from one another for the majority of the running time, and that makes for a strained middle section. I get that people like these movies because they're engineered and manicured for maximum pleasure, and I cherish the goofy bits like the drunk creature thinking BB-8 is a slot machine. Maybe these just aren't for me. Until I cry at the end. 37. Win It All (Joe Swanberg)- It ends abruptly and doesn't get as psychological as it could, but Win It All is designed for maximum pleasure. There are a few inventive gestures that make for a jaunty hang--I loved the superimposed counter that showed how up or down Eddie's bankroll was. Jake Johnson, who co-wrote, has real rakish chops. 36. American Made (Doug Liman)- It's helpful to compare this movie to T.C.'s summer disaster The Mummy, which cast him as a static rake. Doug Liman presents the same smiling mug, but he punches a few holes into the persona, letting us see the shortcomings of T.C.'s Barry Seal if not the delusional quality that the actual man must have had. (The movie tries to sell us on boredom as the main motivation for a near-suicide mission, but it was probably more complex than that.) The actor is at his best when he lets himself seems slightly dumb, when the audience is a few steps ahead of him. Luckily, that's the whole film. It helps that this is the first Liman movie since the original Bourne Identity to have a vibrant "stolen" quality to its visuals. American Made careens through its beats at a breakneck pace, and the biggest flaw of the movie is that it remains that fast at the end, when we need more answers. 35. Mudbound (Dee Rees)- A true ensemble, Mudbound has a deft hand with its own emotional effects. Dee Rees knows the moments that matter--the reunion of father and son after the War is unforgettable--and she nails them. The ending is a poignant culmination of a lot of momentum. Much of the film's success comes from real Movie Stars, Jason Mitchell chief among them, elevating their characters past types though. And some of them don't get there all the way. Jason Clarke's Henry is pretty much Unfeeling Man's Man Farmer and Jonathan Banks is totally Racist Pappy. (Not a joke: His character is actually called Pappy.) In the end, I can't help but suspect that similar characters and situations--he drinks to forget what he's seen!--haven't been staged better elsewhere.

34. Raw (Julia Ducournau)- These types of movies--by that I mean late New French Extremity, I guess--have to go too far. If they didn't, they would lose the perverse aesthetic high ground that they're all so smug about. So it goes too far, but I would like to show Raw to someone making, say, an X-Men movie because Julia Ducournau crafts more immersive world-building in twenty minutes than some of those movies do in multiple entries. The beginning was jagged, but when the storytelling settled into itself, it reminded me of Repulsion because the taboo that guides Raw starts out as a metaphor, then becomes a device, then becomes literal, and then it circles back around to metaphor. Maybe that journey is the reason it exists.  33. Get Out (Jordan Peele)- I saw this movie twice. The first time I was kind of cavalier about it. The line I said at parties was: “I personally prefer genre movies that let you attach social commentary to them. The subtext is the text here.”  Knowing the film's secrets the second time around helped me to appreciate the performances better, especially in the powerhouse hypnotism scene. Kaluuya has to play an everyman but also, for obvious reasons, an everyman who stands out. The balance of vulnerability and heroism that he pulls off is impressive, armed with a fake-smile that is perfect for the micro-aggressions he has to stand and take. Chris embodies a civility that lets him stay in the house past his level of comfort, but he’s smart enough to insist on leaving when some horror protagonists would get illogical. I still think the film escalates a bit too quickly from suspicion to actual danger, and, man, I don't know what that TSA investigation tangent is doing at such a crucial moment. But I'll admit that I didn't give the film enough credit in February. Comedies of manners are common; horrors of manners are rare. 32. Logan Lucky (Steven Soderbergh)- From a screenwriting perspective, there are probably two schools of thought for heist movies. Approach A outlines every detail of the plan; that way, when the characters overcome their challenges, we are more impressed because we were warned of the dangers in advance. Approach B leaves the viewer in suspense, and the hurdles pop up for the viewer in a way that mirrors the characters' surprise. I prefer Approach A, and I think there's a degree of difficulty that can't be discounted there. In fact, there's a sort of joy of exposition that is unique to the heist genre and jives with Approach A. Logan Lucky operates mostly on plane B, and it frustrated me at first in what seems like a sterile, straight first act. But then, as I try to avoid spoilers, it goes so far past what we thought the heist would be, and it branches out into Soderberghian "what was actually happening during that time" territory. I had to re-evaluate my prejudices as I joined in on the fun. Despite the inevitable "What It Did Wrong" YouTubes that some killjoy will make, I didn't notice any narrative cheating. Daniel Craig is the eye in the zany storm. 31. The Big Sick (Michael Showalter)- I feel slightly diminishing returns with each super-autobiographical portrait of a comedian. As heart-wrenching as this one gets, it follows the beats that we're used to, right down to the rock-bottom argument with a fast food cashier. Cue the twenty different endings and the uninspired visual style. But why be a sour-puss when faced with a movie so sincere and eager to please? Besides keeping all of the subplot plates spinning, besides being fair to the female character, the film offers original moments and ideas. The triangle that emerges among Nanjiani, Romano, and Hunter authentically captures the way decorum frost melts once two generations realize their common ground. And "the movie that a guy shows a girl to test her taste on a third date" is something that I myself am guilty of, but I haven't seen it portrayed in a film. What isn't unique in the big structural picture is completely unique in certain moments. 30. The Belko Experiment (Greg McLean)- Its ending is only "good enough," but The Belko Experiment is my kind of ultraviolent trash. I would be perfectly happy if we could get the White Stripes of Experiment movies on odd years and alternate them with The Strokes of Purge movies on even years. For one reason or another, empathy machine John Gallagher, Jr. is still in his Hi, Mom! or Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight phase. When he gets his Taxi Driver, watch out.

29. The Lego Batman Movie (Chris McKay)- I laughed twice during the opening production logos. Of course it devolves into everyone teaming up to save the city, as the straight versions of these movies do, but The Lego Batman Movie, especially in its lower stakes first half, was one of the funniest films of the year. I'm kind of thrilled that the satirizing of tropes I cherished from the margins in the '90s is now de rigeur, sponsored by the same studio that has shoved cliches down our throats. Will Arnett deserves special mention for inhabiting this specific version of Batman so well that he makes you rethink 70+ years of the character's make-up. It's no small feat. This movie, yes, probably counts as a slip-up of my superhero ban. I didn’t realize that until I was halfway through.

28. A Cure for Wellness (Gore Verbinski)- This is a difficult film to recommend because, if the person you're talking to cares only about story, he won't like it. It's strained and sometimes illogical, a "you can never leave" story that has been around the block a few times. But look out for the Miami Viceans on here when this film gets reconsidered for its visuals because, I'm telling you now, A Cure for Wellness has the most stately and controlled images this side of Kubrick. It's a perfect reference Blu-Ray if you still care about such things. Verbinski is credited with the story, and I doubt he told the screenwriter much more than "water, wrinkled faces, the color white," but he does some things with that sandbox that I haven't seen before. 27. It Comes at Night (Trey Edward Shults)- It Comes at Night never completely explains its own horror conceit of encroaching "sickness"; even by the end, there's a lot that we don't know about the apparently apocalyptic event that has singled out the characters. That presence of an absence is the film's greatest strength--it allows us to attach to the human frailty at the center without distraction. However, it's the film's greatest weakness as well because it's what keeps the proceedings small, like a cost-cutting measure. In capturing bleak human frailty, Trey Edward Shults knows exactly what he's doing. He uses literal darkness to suggest emotional darkness, and his script guides the viewer along character arcs without holding anyone's hand. A character uses the word "brother-in-law" instead of "brother" and, because of the context, it produces as much of a gasp as a gunshot would. I didn't recognize Riley Keough at first, which is an excellent sign for a young actress. There's a moment when her character catches another character eyeing her breasts, and she tugs her shirt with a unique mixture of flattery and shame. I can't wait to see what she does next. 26. Wind River (Taylor Sheridan)- If a movie has a scene of #RennerSeason making his own bullets, then my fingers won't let me give it lower than three stars. He's amazing/hilarious in this as the know-it-all spirit warrior--basically Steven Seagal in a better actor's body. He's perfect for squinting and selling lines like, "You keep looking for clues...but you're missing all the signs." Taylor Sheridan's screenplay is tight and meticulous in a way that we used to get all the time but feels special now. The backstory is doled out with care, and every character is rich enough to get a moment to shine. He shoots his own material with less visceral impact than someone like Denis Villeneuve did, but he does lend a specific sense of place to the film.There's a crucial late scene that sort of solves the mystery for us, making everything that comes after seem like falling action baggage. Your mileage may vary, but I'm not sure there are other ways to get across the information. I was okay with it. 25. The Post (Steven Spielberg)- The Post is a great time at the movies, but it's ultimately a bit too much of a movie for me. It has a hand-held lightness to its look, an energy that belies how quickly it was made. Streep's Kate Graham has a satisfying arc that eschews a lot of the grandstanding that this type of picture would normally lend her. Her lesson in confidence is laid on thickly, but Streep doesn't play it that way. Unfortunately some of the brusqueness I like in the filmmaking carries over to the screenplay. It offers few of the laughs-in-crisis that make individual Spielberg scenes so good, and most of the conflicts resolve themselves just a little too easily. ("I wonder if the guy I think has the papers actually has them...yep, after a few calls, I found out he does.") The less said about the cartoonish Vietnam protestors and the CCR needle-drop, the better. Overall, do I prefer the lean, realistic version of this story over the more belabored, showy version? Sure.

24. The Work (Jairus McLeary, Gethin Aldous)- The Work is undeniably raw, pure, and effective in the emotion it documents and generates. The access given to the filmmakers as they capture a group therapy program in Folsom State Prison is unbelievable. But for that reason, there's something on the margins of the film that feels exploitative and violating to me. I'm interested in how Bloods and Aryans console each other, not to mention how the most damaged figure is not a prisoner at all. But I get the sense I shouldn't be watching any of this. 23. Marjorie Prime (Michael Almereyda)- I like everything that this chamber piece specifies and everything that it decides to leave vague. The film is unsentimental, considering how sentimental this premise could be. It seems bent on reminding us, sometimes tragically, about how we shape our own memories until the original moment is gone in every way. I'll admit that it seems a little slight by the end, despite the weight suggested by what I just described. Even when it's surprising you, the film never writes in capital letters, and part of that feeling comes from bland visuals. But that's a small complaint for a film that is grappling so palpably with the challenges of authenticity in modern life.

#film #lists #movie reviews

[gaudeixcc]

Peloton News – Germany calling

Last weekend I rode with 2 English riders who speak German. It’s not their natural language, but since they are both taking coin out of Merkel’s economy, I guess it made sense to put some effort in and learn.

JT has been firing employees in Germany for a couple of years now and is getting more and more comfortable despatching the walking dead with a Bavarian lilt. Neil, who has a proper job it turns out, has been there a similar amount of time.

Unlike the usual peloton career, Neil’s job is making real things. On deeper discussion, turns out he’s made the engine for one of the early hot hatches, the good old Ford focus ST170. He’s actually designed and made the thing. With his team of people. This is indeed useful and pretty impressive. James just yells at people. Dripping wanders the country with his health and safety clipboard and pencil round his neck, Macca drives a bus (albeit in the sky), RTA is in Insurance marketing so no doubt spends his days imagineering. The rest of us, well, it’s non-too impressive is it fellas..? I mean, me being able to navigate post-it notes and a flip chart stacks up pretty poorly against a man who makes engines for Henry’s firm.

Anyway, Neil was very modest about the whole thing, so I just sat there quietly hoping he was going to be shit at cycling so it would make me feel better.

He wasn’t. Bollocks.

Anyway, more of that shortly.

In numerous cafés and restaurants my 2 faux-Germans baffled me with what looked like pretty good conversational German deployed to numerous waiting staff. The waiting staff responded in kind and clearly communication was occurring which everyone understood.

Everyone that is, except me.

I sat there feeling like somebody’s Granny. Listening to the waiter, then turning to James and half shouting ‘what did he say?’

I don’t understand James at the best of times. I understand him even less when he is barking his shouty orders to menials in verse I don’t follow.

Still, German and indeed Germany suits JT. There is a ruthless efficiency to the country that perfectly apes our diminutive chums’ approach to life and work.

On the last night after 2 days of amazing/horrific bicycling, JT took me to the local German pub. We marched into the gaff… through the gaff… and out the other side into the Garden. There must have been half a thousand people in the Garden, all sat at benches drinking massive glasses of lager and eating food.

‘See the blue table clothes?’ squeaks JT ‘That’s where you can buy beer from here but bring your own food’.

A-huh.

‘See those table over there’ Sayeth James with a pointy finger that has dispatched many a quivering underling from his office on the 20th floor of Sky towers. ‘Table service’.

Er…ok.

‘and this section is self-service. Follow me’.

The next 90 seconds were a bit of a blur. But here goes an accurate (for once) account of what happened next.

James orders me a plate of Pork knuckle from a large German man who looks like he’s lived on nothing else. Within seconds it’s on my plate with a dumpling and gravy.

‘Veg James?’…… The place went quiet….James’ eyes narrowed and also spoke (a first for eyes).  ‘Oh do fuck off’ they said.

No veg then.

5 seconds later we were at another counter. Behind this one another large German stood with his back to us. He was drawing lager from a cask which could have easily accommodated a cow. It looked like this was wasn’t just his job, it wasn’t his vocation, it wasn’t even his dream. It was his utter and complete meaning. Without even turning he placed a pulled litre of lager firmly onto the counter. James took it and put it on my tray. 5 seconds later he’d done it again, another lager on the counter. No looking. No talking. No contact. Just lager. James nabbed the next one up and the hurried me off the counter number 3.

Payment.

James paid for both within seconds (a first) and noted down in his little leather-bound accounting ledger the transaction and proposed apportionment (muscle memory).

We sat down.

90 seconds. Seriously. Breath-taking efficiency which has been giving JT wet dreams since the moment he landed in Munich central.

The food and beer were sensational. I had been dreaming of both during the 2 cycling days. Meat on a big bone accompanied by lager. Don’t over complicate perfection with greenery and other such fripperies.  

We both sat there and reflected on the preceding coupla days.

‘Well, I’m getting an electric bike. That’s all there is to it’.

JT in one of the peloton’s strongest riders. Surely a couple of German/Austrian hills can’t do this to a man? I know he’s not done much training, but how hard can riding a bicycle up a hill be for pities sake?

Pretty hard is the answer to that one.

Near the town of Zell am See, nestled in the Austrian alps, lies a mountain. Großglockner. This is the highest peak in the Austrian alps and has been a pass for human traffic for over 3,500 years. The road probably wasn’t tarmacked back then and they definitely didn’t charge 35 Euros to haul your car up and down the mountain like they do now. Still, with around 2,000 meters of climbing for nearly 20k, 8% as an average was always going to be tough.

Interesting fact number 1. James has done next to no training. Interesting fact number 2. I have done quite a bit of training. Fact 3. I have also been consistent with shovelling Haribo and Dolly mixture down my greedy gullet of recent. This could all be very interesting indeed.

Obligatory photos are taken at the foot of the hill before we set off.

Now I am in no hurry to bust a gut on this one. We have the Pyrenees beckoning and for JT and I, this is very much ‘getting your eye in’ type of stuff.

Still, it doesn’t stop me putting an initial sprint in after 15 seconds on the hill. I’m in the lead. I’m already regretting having done that. Normal order resumes as Neil and JT gently pedal past, James shaking his head slowly.

We all settle in to a rhythm. Neil has a fast-paced cadence which is I suspect measurably accurate and consistent to within 0.05 rpm. He looks professional with his 95 revolutions every minute. I have a cadence of similar accuracy, the only difference being I occasionally mash the pedals, more often than not vary the speed of rotation between about 5-15 rpm, sometimes I kick over the top, sometimes I drag back and lift, sometimes I go for the fluid movement (but for never more than 8 pedal strokes in a row). Other than that, in comparing form we could literally be cycling brothers…

The hill is hard. The 8% climb is unrelenting. And the weather is starting to degrade. Gentle drizzle spits in and out of existence and whilst warm, clothes are starting to cloy to skin.

Unusually for a ride with JT, he doesn’t fuck right off into the future to leave me to my own mental demons. He’s up the road from me, but not that far. Probably about 100 meters or so.

We climb. The scenery is stunning, despite cloud significantly obscuring the best views.

Within half an hour we are high high up. 8% of climbing has seen us well into the sky. Trouble is, inside my head I can hear the voices complaining loudly about the effort…the drudge… the slog. It is hard going. You forget what proper hill work is like. We remember all too easily the tea and slice of cake at the crest of previous efforts, followed by the flowing downhill of ribboned tarmac folded across alpine pastures. Today is stark and real. This stuff is tough. I project forward to the Pyrenees. I know James is ahead of me doing exactly the same thing.

Training wise neither of us are in the ‘too little, too late’ category and the Pyrenees may be steadier in gradient. Still, a resolve is being independently crafted by both of us to put some real effort into quality training in the remaining weeks.

Of course, I’m now in Turkey caning the ‘all you can eat’ buffet and drinking the resort out of pina coladas and Baileys. Other than that, quality training is my mantra. (There is no Haribo at this hotel. I have written to governor of the local province to ask him what the flaming heck is going on under his watch. I’ve had to resort to eating iced buns for goodness sake. I’m battling through the obvious discomfort this whole situation is causing me).

It’s an hour into the climb. JT and I are now cycling together. For a period of time I’ve actually been ahead. This is a most unusual experience. It’s like a different universe where I am the one with cycling talent. JT is the one who is frustrated and annoyed. I think if provoked, there may even be a little wheelie in the locker too…. But I’m too tired to irk him with this sort of behaviour. Instead, we both push on.

Neil is ahead and is looking comfortable (well, as comfortable as you can be on an increasingly cold and wet mountain).

We pass a sign showing the 1,900 meter mark. As a group we commit to go to 2,000 meters. It’s a good mental stimulus. Something to focus on. The signs come and go and the metric altitude counter seems to only inch up (I thought about that sentence for too long!).

We round a corner, JT in front, expecting to see the 2,000 meter sign. It’s not there! I can literally see the man deflate in front of me. He stops. Arms folded across bars. Head hanging. He’s in a tough spot. We’ve all been there. Ready to hurl your bike off the side of a mountain and just sit your arse down. It’s brutal. It’s miserable. It’s cycling.

We cross the road into a lay-by and call Neil back. As we discuss options, a cloud literally comes down the road toward us. A cloud. Actually, on the road. This is all JT and I need. I reach into JT’s imaginary rucksack and haul out the white towel and hurl it up the road. That’s it. We are done. Wheels about and off we coast.

The next 15 minutes are technically quite challenging. Slick roads, winds and drizzle combined with increasing cold. I’ve got the brakes applied for nearly the whole duration of the decent. My new wheels are great, but I’ve not ridden these tyres before. My old Conti 4,000’s gave ultra-confidence and I’m just getting my eye in with these Bontragers.

I over-cook one or two turns, but other than that, we were down a lot quicker than we were up.

We now have a flat 15 or so K before we get back to the hotel.

There is a tiredness in the team. Weariness. Like post-lunch toddlers, nap time is upon us. We have no choice. We look at the stats and the numbers don’t quite tell the story of the ride. That consistent gradient was the real killer. Combine that with JT’s lack of prep (my ok prep, ok-ish weight and less than ok age these days) and reality bites. We talk about comparative difficulty. This is probably up there with a Stelvio/Croix de Fer… that sort of thing.

That evening at drinks, a funny thing became apparent. Zell am See is a small town in the Austrian state of Slatzberg. Nothing funny there you would have thought. We were munching down on a burger post-pint and I slowly became aware of the general population mix and ethnicity. There seemed to be a fair few Gulf state rich folk and their families milling about the place. When I say a fair few, I would estimate that the general tourist population was 75% Gulf state. I’d definitely not noticed this proportional representation anywhere else whilst in Austria/Germany. So what gives?

JT is hardwired to the Internet and quickly found an answer.

Apparently back in the day, some smart bod on the town council thought that their picturesque town, crystal clear lakes and mountainous back-drop was an absolute shoo-in for the description of paradise laid out in the Quran. And so off started a spectacularly successful marketing campaign directed Emirates way. And so, every summer, thousands upon thousands of well-shod Arabs head toward this little town to get out of the desert heat and spend some of their hard earned on Austrian trinkets and general tourist junk. They even had a shop there selling hookah pipes. Although I’m not sure which foolish gulf resident is going to rock-up back in Qatar with his genuine Austrian Hookar pipe  and show it off to his mates…. Wouldn’t that be akin to going to the Galapagos to pick up some Kendal mint cake?

Next day saw some more gentle weather. The cycling with picturesque and generally less battering than 24 hour earlier.

There was however one notable exception.

One section stood out. 20% of solid climbing for what turned out to be perhaps a third of a mile.

I don’t think I’ve ever bicycled slower. Out of the saddle and still I reckon I’m doing 3mph.

James is behind me (repeat, James is behind me). It’s funny how such a simple statement can give me such warm comfort.

Anyway, I’m struggling… unbeknownst to me James has been doing my old Alpine skiing trick of traversing. Cheeky fucker. Still, when I threw in my own towel (might be a first that… beaten by a hill) I looked back down the road and was pleased to see that JT had also had enough.

When I re-tell this particular story, James was 700 yards back. When he retells it, he was literally nibbling my rear wheel. Either way, we were both shamed into walking up a steep hill, bike being led up like some tethered goat.

At the top we again pondered the upcoming Pyrenees trip.

There is a little less than 4-weeks before 9 riders of varying levels of fitness attack a Grande Tour and this year there is a definite hint of nervousness.

Some have trained really hard. Some of have trained fairly hard. Some of just trained and some have just thought about training.  

Whichever camp you sit in (and you all know exactly which one that will be), remember that riding in scenery like this is a privilege and we are all lucky to be able to be there, whatever level of training. Memories for life are booked in for 11th September.

Will we have another ‘Moley walking through the saloon doors with tears in his eyes’ moment?

Will we see Macca snatching defeat from the jaws of victory as Damo hunts him, down to the line?

Will ColMac shout ‘Buongiorno’ directly in the face of any local who has the foolishness to catch his gaze?

Who knows. For the first time in years thought the form book is well and truly wide open.

Whilst HRH and RTA will no doubt be dancing near the top of the pack, will Damo’s recent hard-yards see him flirting with the podium?

After those three, the remaining 6 look like a complete and utter shambles of a team. I think I’m going to take a photo of the ‘calamity six’ and make one of those motivational posters out of it.

There is one I’ve seen which shows a silhouette of a guy on a race bike at sunset. The slogan is ‘Effort and determination are the key to going the extra mile’.

The calamity six poster will be ‘Effort. This lot should have fucking put some in’.

So here we go again. Tour upcoming. Nerves a janglin’. Damo’s tuck shop is being stocked as we speak.

Let’s all keep everything crossed for Dripping, his new hip and his knackered back to make it there. If he can do it, the rest of you can pipe down and suffer in silence…!

G19….. this is most definitely going to be a tour to remember.

Hoppo

#PelotonNews

[realmermaidblog-blog]

How to Be a Mermaid

Have you ever dreamed of having a mermaid tail and skimming by means of the water with the fish? Of feeling and looking like a real mermaid, your hair flowing behind you as you swirl and twirl underwater?

Effectively, it's doable right this moment to be a mermaid-though I am afraid I am unable to promise you can breathe under water!

No, I'm speaking a couple of new pastime which is rising across the globe, and it's known as mermaiding. Not just girls and women are doing it, but so are boys and males.

Many of us have been impressed by the well-known international model, Hannah Fraser, also called Hannah Mermaid. She dreamed of being a mermaid since she was 9 years old. As she acquired older, she began modeling. Ultimately she began crafting her personal full mermaid costumes and doing underwater photograph and video shoots. She now has three gorgeous, one-of-a-variety tails and lots of superb footage you possibly can view on her web site by googling "Hannah Mermaid." She has mermaided with sea turtles, dolphins, fish and whales!!! She has trained herself to withstand ocean pressure down to virtually forty toes, and she can gold her breath for 2 minutes.

It's also possible to do a search on YouTube for "mermaid" and you will find a number of people who are making and swimming in their own mermaid tails.

So now you understand about mermaiding, and you may't wait to get started. If you know the way to sew and have the time, you may make your personal easy tail. Sasha Mermaid has a beautiful YouTube video tutorial on "How you can Make A Mermaid Tail.

In order for you a tail but don't wish to sew one, you will discover a company which makes mermaid tails, tops and accessories. There are a number of out there, including a few eBay sellers. Prices vary from 100 dollars to over a thousand dollars.

Now that you've your tail, an identical high and maybe a seashell necklace or two, you might be able to mermaid.

The tails use a monofin, which is a single flipper which each your ft match into. It takes a little bit getting used to, swimming together with your legs attached together in your tail. Should you already know the dolphin swim, this is a great stroke to do with the tail on. But you need not know any special swim strokes-the tail with the monofin itself will trigger you to swim mermaid-trend. It looks very beautiful in the water, is fast and fun to do.

Now, to enhance your mermaiding, there are several expertise to master. First, it's worthwhile to swim, dive and do twirls within the water with out ever holding your nostril. In case you are used to holding your nose, your first step is to learn to blow out slightly when you first go beneath and study to not maintain your nose anymore. In the event you apply this quite a bit, however discover that there are occasions you possibly can't get by with out holding your nose or too much water comes in, I recommend you get a transparent noseplug particularly for swimming. You can slip it onto the top of your nostril and it'll hold the water out, it doesn't matter what you do in the water. Since it is clear, it won't draw consideration to itself.

Secondly, it is advisable to observe holding your breath for longer intervals of time underneath water. Use frequent sense and caution-do not let yourself get into danger or cross out. But from my research I've discovered that studying to carry your breath for long durations of time merely comes with observe and studying to loosen up within the water. The mermaid performers in Weeki Wachee, Florida, swim and apply each day. A few of them have realized to carry their breath as much as six minutes lengthy! Another mermaid mannequin, Mermaid Linden, hires herself out for mermaid performances and she has educated herself to carry her breath for 4 and a half minutes!

These costumes are normally worn by kids for Halloween or the kids get together however today, ladies demand costumes designed for particular events. If you're heading to an evening occasion or perhaps Halloween or simply to impress and surprise your associate, then you definately want a mermaid costume would carry out the female in your and looking out gorgeous.

A full size costume is most suitable and outstanding to be put on at the seaside or a particular night time with your accomplice. Additionally they comes with the half length which will cover your knees for better actions. It actually is dependent upon what length you need and it is very important select the proper one as the complete length mermaid costume may create difficulties if you are have interaction with extreme actions. Usually, you do not need to wear an extra bra inside since the mermaid costume comes with an attractive shell in form or beaded, relying on the whole costume design.

Equipment are also important to keep your mermaid costume excellent with a little decorations of beaded or shells necklace on the neck or wrist. Again, this costume is suitable to put on for seaside or pool aspect events, it might be put on for events like Halloween and of course costume parties. Because the mermaid costume is vivid and shinning sufficient to maintain all eyes on you, heavy and intense make up is just not vital. A lightweight make up will do to maintain it easy but lovely!

If you're thinking what to do with your hair, simply let your hair drop and put a flower at the side of it which makes you appear to be a princess. Nevertheless, if you are afraid that your hair would cowl up the great thing about your costume on the upper side, then tie a bun!

And the last essential factor to pay attention to is your shoe! Do wear any colour of heels which matches your costume, never put on palms or slippers which is able to spoil the whole mermaid look or if you're on the seaside then heels will not be obligatory in fact. Which actual mermaid wears heels anyway?

It was believed that a creature of higher human physique and lower fish physique had circulated the oceans again 5,000 B.C. In accordance with some religious myths, these mermaids rose from the depth of the oceans to teach man. A-well known historian and scientists, Pliny the Elder had documented the accounts of these 'real mermaids'. He was quite sure about the existence of this creature and known as them scaled and rough all over. After that conviction, thousands of fishers and sailors worldwide had reported of seeing the 'actual mermaids' swimming close to their ships.

In this context, Christopher Columbus also described his encounter with a 'mermaid' in 1493 at the ocean of Haiti. He said that these creatures came out of water slightly they usually weren't lovely as talked about in fictions. Later, in an antiquated text of history named as Speculum Regale, it was written around 1250 in Norway, the mermaids aren't depicted as pretty ladies however like a semi aquatic creature. In the thirteenth century, an individual Physiologus in his ebook of animal research had described about actual 'mermaid' consisting of higher woman body and lower fish physique. Later in the e book of Historia Monstrorum, the writer had reported the union of mermaid close to the River Nile.

In 1608, Henry Hudson had explored the existence of mermaid near the region of Russia. He described a creature looking like man from upper half having a speckled and porpoise like a mackerel. based on his view, this creature had white skin, lady breasts and long hair at back. Recently in 2004, a 'mermaid' corpse was seen in the ocean of Chennai after the account of tsunami. Nevertheless, researcher believes that stories about existence of actual mermaid are merely instance of confusion. Whereas other believes that mermaid is the actual creature that lives into depth of the ocean and now they've grow to be extinct as a result of environmental pollution.

Once you picture a mermaid one thing that might come to mind is their lovely jewellery, or seashell necklaces. Together with their magnificence, mermaids have always been associated with sparkling jewels and jewellery from the ocean. You'll be able to be part of them by getting your very own.

There are a lot of sorts of mermaid necklaces available, and in the event you go purchasing for one it is vital you realize all the totally different sorts available to you.

The primary type can be a necklace that will have a figurine or mannequin of an actual mermaid. This is best for those who love the elegant great thing about a mermaid and need to exhibit their favourite legend round their neck. You've a lot of options when you go together with this kind of necklace, for instance you will get silver, gold, white gold or virtually another material that regular necklaces are made in.

The second sort of necklace can be the type of necklace you would discover a real mermaid carrying. These are normally made from shells or other issues discovered within the backside of the ocean. Think about what kind of necklace you'll make should you had only the ocean to supply you. These are great for costumes the place you are going as a mermaid.

The third form can be necklaces which have little pendants or pictures of mermaids on them. You can have round or oval shaped pendants with an image of reasonable wanting mermaids or the rest associated to mermaids you want on them. There are a lot of differing kinds out there on the internet so there is no scarcity or drawback discovering one that best suits your needs.

Web will be in comparison with an ocean, which hides in its depths myriads of thinkable and unthinkable issues. That is an ocean, certainly, the ocean of knowledge concerned with all possible features of our life. And as such, the virtual space of world vast net is linked on to our materials world. Therefore, you'll be able to pull out of www virtually all the pieces you need: music, films, garments, furniture, tropical cruises, automobiles, philosophical ideas and real love: your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Important is just to know what sort of fish (or, maybe, mermaid or merman) you need to catch from these "waters", how to choose right nets, the place to deploy them, what sort of bait to make use of, and when mermaids/mermen come, how you can get one without scaring her (or him) away.

The anonymity of the www can go so deep, that you could be flirt on-line with an actual mermaid whereas pondering that this is just a lady. How you can tell? Effectively, word if she is aware of well about fish and whales, likes to sing and (beware!) proposes you to fulfill her on a beach or seashore.

Now, critically, no scales! For begin, and now I am talking about finding your greatest half on-line, it's a must to set your thoughts for the search. It is a most necessary place to begin: set your mind on who you want to find, thus far, to love! Every little thing else can be derived from this point. Normally people are discovering what they're in search of - this is a regulation of the Universe. So, before getting into this quest, it's essential to set your goals. To make things easy, better of all is to prepare an inventory, which is able to enable you to to determine what are the most important options that you just wish to discover in him or her, what kind of things it's possible you'll settle for or ignore, and, finally, what you really want to keep away from.

The technical approach to your search can be finished either by putting your profile on the relationship/matchmaking site, by looking by means of posted profiles and contacting those whom you found attention-grabbing, and eventually (the most effective strategy) by doing both and using totally different networks. Nonetheless, most important is to do all that proper!

When you find yourself posting your profile, describe yourself briefly however precisely, i.e. avoid any ambiguities. Present your private virtues, pursuits and life priorities. Your picture must be of high quality, large, recent (essential!) and actually showing the unique (the picture of your self in scuba gear taken from a passing-by motor boat would not give you the results you want, even when that is your favorite one). Additionally, you'll save numerous time for your self should you brazenly listing all character features, habits, etc. of potential candidates, which are unacceptable for you. "Married chronic junky" are quite common rejection key phrases, though, you would possibly assume to be more specific. Phrase of caution, though: if you'll slim down your requirements to somewhat as "I am looking for a model, who can be a role model in life", be careful: your potential match can be repelled by a thought that you're pushed by some inferiority advanced, which makes you too choosy.

Don't be shy, in the event you see a profile, which you really like, contact her or him first. By all means do not send a generic letter. Point out specifics which you like within the profile of this particular person, what touched you, why you're writing to him or her. However, do not let your self to be dragged into a long on-line trade. In case you are not searching for a virtual romance В Израиле нашли настоящую русалку (some folks do, but this is not what we're discussing right here), move to the following step as quickly as doable. Give your telephone quantity. Nevertheless, do not give your telephone number to anyone. Better: open separate cellular phone account for such calls only. This will value you less than changing both your house and cell numbers if you will run into some obnoxious drag.

Earlier than actual meeting, you need to talk to the particular person by a phone: there are a number of reasons for doing that. First, you need simply to listen to a voice. Sometimes this will inform you a lot, it can be complete flip-off, however do not put an excessive amount of into it. I had once a date with a woman who sounded on a cellphone like a drunken previous hag. I nearly hang up thinking that I am a victim of a prank, but natural curiosity gained, so I set the date, time and place for a gathering. One who sounded so badly on the phone in life appeared young and delightful girl, who made all men flip their heads when she entered the restaurant. Truthfully, my jaw dropped down after I noticed her: so much the precise appearance contrasted with the sluggish and squeaky voice which I've heard on the phone. Second, telephone talk may provide you with an idea on vocabulary and, therefore, social position of the individual. One young woman, a buddy of mine, had a week-lengthy trade with a man, who apparently enchanted her together with his writings. They determined to meet, so he referred to as her on a cellphone. When he called, his talk was saturated with so many unnecessary colloquial terms, that she became absolutely satisfied to not pursue this acquaintance any further. Evidently, that the meeting by no means occurred.

[littlethoughtsandfeelings]

The Bachelor Australia 2017 Recap – Episode 3

The girls are CASUALLY (and still standing, I might add. Get some more seating in there, already) gathered around the kitchen, agreeing it’s the group date episode. Simone throws down in her talking head, saying that she doesn’t like Leah (our Villain Number One).

Osher materialises (are we 100% sure at this point he’s not a wizard and this isn’t apparition?) with a date card, and tells the lucky (hmm, would we say lucky?) girl she has 15 minutes to get ready to add some URGENCY for NO REASON. 

The clue reads: “I am really drawn to your creative side.” A rivalry is set up in two seconds between the painter (sorry, there’s a painter there?) or Laura, the jewellery designer. Laura the jewellery designer wins. (Side note for the producers: you can’t expect us to care about a rivalry if you spend LITERALLY TWO SECONDS establishing it. It is pointless, easy fodder for the episode, and don’t think we don’t see that.)

Matty’s talking head says he’s had his eye on Laura since the red carpet, and we get a de-saturated flashback to remind us who she is (thank you for this. This is actually quite helpful).

Matty J comes to pick her up in a very small (she notes that it’s very small) boat. Laura’s wearing some kind of maxi skirt thing, and I’m just reminded that she’s had fifteen minutes to get ready. I have so many questions about this. What if she hadn’t shaved? What if her fake tan was uneven? What if her bikini was in the wash? 

They talk for twenty minutes about BOATS. LITERALLY I COUNTED AT LEAST SEVEN TIMES. If I were drinking, I would already be hospitalised for alcohol poisoning by now. So… let me get this straight. They’re taking a small boat to a… bigger boat? And this is exciting?

On the BOAT, Laura’s nervous-talking. After the self-described word vomit, they have the obligatory “how many people have you loved?” conversation. I’m not really sure what this is supposed to achieve, other than confirming that they are not, in fact, children.

Back at the mansion, a new date card arrives (do these apparate too? Osher, tell us your secrets!).

The clue reads: “A step back in time.” Ah, that’s right, it’s the Medieval Episode (side note: Didn’t they all eat haggis or blood pudding or something last year?). Some ladies are on it, basically all of them, so we’ll just talk about the important ones when (if) they make themselves known. 

Leah (Villain Number One) wants to be on the date. Wow. So content. Much interesting. Simone (her two episode long arch-enemy) gets the last place. Leah says that she hopes it’s competitive then. Jennifer, our Villain Number Two, says she didn’t want both of them to be on the date, at the “expense of [her] own safety”. What the fuck does she think is going to happen? Are the girls all given guns when they enter the mansion or something? I mean, I know they get vicious, but they’re not going to murder someone on national television, are they? (I mean hey, at this point, it would add some interest to this season. I’m dying of boredom so far).

Apparently Matty’s learnt from my criticism of last episode’s date, and this date with Laura doesn’t consist of just a boat ride, or even two boat rides. This time, he’s introduced… drawing. Of each other. Alright, I’ll bite.

The stumble upon two conveniently placed easels by the shore, and it’s revealed that Laura has experience of live drawing, as she is a strong independent woman with a Fine Arts degree. 

But, there’s a twist! Matty J has added a TIME LIMIT, because if the new media world of YouTube, etc. has taught us anything, it’s that CHALLENGES ARE FUN. He boasts about winning a drawing competition as a kid, and it’s actually nice to know that Matty hasn’t lost his personality this season, unlike other Bachelorette-contestants-turn-Bachelors *cough Richie cough*.

Matty jokes about drawing her lovingly, and this is set up very nicely for what we know will be a horrible picture.

Matty says, “The more I look at her, the more I realise that she’s completely and utterly beautiful.” Ummm… is this a compliment? It’s like, “I wasn’t sure at first, but the more I looked at her, the prettier she got.” It’s like when you’re buying a dress, and you’re like hmmm probably not my style, but then you can’t get it out of your head and go back to buy it anyway, and then it sits in your wardrobe forever, never being worn. What were we talking about?

So Laura reveals her drawing and it’s… um… interesting. Granted, it’s probably better than I could do, and no one said her major was in drawing… 

Matty reveals his drawing and it’s… I’m sorry, Matty. It’s hideous. They even have the big strings in the score underneath and it literally looks like a drawing by a serial killer.

They joke for a bit.

Matty: What tripped me up most was…

Laura: The face?

Matty: The face. 

They go to a SEXYTIME COUCH and have wine, because what is The Bachelor without a healthy dose of alcoholism?

Laura seems presently surprised that she likes Matty J (when do they get a chance to be like, “Nah, P.S. mate, I’m not feeling it”?) She’s biting her tongue, not metaphorically, literally, like between her teeth. Do guys think this is cute? This isn’t cute. 

HOLD THE PHONE. ARE THEY GOING TO KISS? SHE’S SPEECHLESS. HE LIKES HER. SHE LIKES HIM. JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY.

THEY’RE KISSINGGGGGGGGGGG AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THEY’RE GOING TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES. HE CUPPED HER FACE. THERE’S A SUN FLARE. THEY’RE PANNING. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. IT’S A LONG KISS. THEY’VE SEPARATED. OH NO, HE’S GOING BACK FOR SECONDS. AHHHHHHHH. 

He’s all shy and coy in the interview afterwards. He says he wanted to kiss Laura from the very first moment he saw her today. Look, she wasn’t one of my main picks, but, like with Matty J, she’s growing on me. He offers her a rose and she accepts. THEY MUSH AGAIN! (See last year’s recaps for explanations of this very scientific term.)

Right so after the ad break, we’re on the medieval date. (What, no Laura going back to the mansion with a rose and being interrogated? But that was such interesting television.)

Apparently, Matty spent five years in London (like every Australian under 30), and wanted to recreate the 1500s. Because this makes sense.

Osher says that Henry VIII had six wives, Matty squeezes in some chauvinism by saying, “My man!”, and therefore only six ladies (out of the twelve on the date) will have seats at the banquet with Matty. There’s also a rose ceremony later that night, which is apparently a bombshell dropped.

They put on costumes, and Matty is wearing pantaloons, which I am HERE FOR. 

Osher explains they will be doing typical activities of the time, so the girls get to look after the small animals around the farm. I guess it’s better than NOT exercising their right to vote, or NOT being institutionalised for having their period. 

The first mini competition is catching pigs. Yep. You read that right. Matty nominates helium balloon Cobie, ribbon dancer Akoulina, badass Simone, and Villain Number One, Leah, for this task (does he really know all their names? Or does Osher just whisper them to Matty out the side of his mouth?).

Osher warns them all NOT TO HURT THE PIGS. I REPEAT, DO NOT HURT THE PIGS.

Osher also says to not traumatise the piglets. Judging by the squealing, they are being traumatised every second of this horrendous experience.

Animal rights activism aside, Leah leads the charge, because apparently she’s a “country girl”. Cobie (who I swear wasn’t there two seconds ago) also gets a pig. Leah’s the first one through, and probably catches swine flu by kissing the piglets (jk I have no idea how it’s transmitted. In case you’re unaware, I am not a doctor).

Leah and Cobie are through to the banquet; Akoulina and Simone are out. Leah makes a generic villainous comment about decapitating them, so that’s fun.

Lisa (one of my early picks) says she wants to win the next challenge to get the banquet with Matty. Breaking: Bachelor contestant wants to win Bachelor’s heart!

Anyway, the next challenge is a sack race, with Michelle, Lisa, and some other people. Matty breaks down the sack race for us, in terms of agility, stamina, and hand-eye coordination, in what is probably a television first. Then there’s also a ring toss, halfway through the sack race. I’m pretty sure this is an exact historical representation. Belinda (who? Ah, the “love coach”) and Lisa get through.

The next game is that ancient game of soccer, with Elora, etc. They’re shoving each other, and they’re ruthless. I hate sports at the best of times, but if I was in this situation, I would politely curtsey right the f out of there.

Some more people get through, and they leave for the banquet.

At the banquet, Matty wants some goss about the dynamics in the house. Villain Number One says that it’s a bit shakey, and that maybe it’s the mother instinct in her, but she takes the feelings of others to heart. You may have thought I’d embellished that, but no. That was all her.

The other girls at the banquet are predictably unhappy about this, and wanting to get the heck out of there, Matty asks Alix (the body painter one) for some one-on-one time.

She decides to use this precious alone time with Matty to… ask about his family. ALIX DO YOUR RESEARCH, BABE. Interestingly though, Matty reveals he’s the middle child of five. Did we know this before? If not, that. explains. everything.

Leah is bored at the banquet because none of her evil-squad is there (side note: “Evil Squad” could be a good name for an all-girl metal rock band. Or a group of spiders. You know, either or).  

Leah eggs on Elise (who? Oh, another montage girl) to interrupt Matty’s time with Alix. Yes, it is definitely her decision and not chosen by the producers.

Elise says, “Are you guys finished or do you want a bit more time?” And Alix replies, “No, you can jump in, babe”. See, this is how you do it. Friendship! Happiness! Respect!

But then two seconds later Leah gets the shits and goes to interrupt. THIS IS DEFINITELY ALL HER IDEA. She describes herself as a “strawberry shortcake”, which I CAN actually buy as her idea. 

Elise returns to the banquet with her tail between her legs, and the girls at the table are all upset for her. Lisa thinks Leah likes the attention. Um, you reckon?

Leah talks about her mum, and turns on the waterworks. She actually says, “I care too much, it’s just who I am” and I’m pretty sure I vomited in my mouth.

Matty offers a hug and she takes it. He says, “I’m glad you’re here for the right reasons” to which Leah replies, “I think so.” At this point, do they just want to turn to camera and wink?

See, here’s the problem with this. They’re trying to recreate someone as iconic as Laurina. But the thing with Laurina, is that I’m utterly convinced she didn’t need any encouragement from the producers. “Dirty street pie” was all natural. It’s different when they have someone who says in a robotic voice (almost as if reading from a script), “Now I shall be mean”, and then goes and does something mean. I feel like they think it’s going to get them more ratings, or that people will be bored without this contrived bullshit, but I’m not buying that. No one actually thinks this is real, right? So, producers: Stop trying to make Laurina happen! It’s not going to happen. 

Anyway, back to the banquet, Matty reveals that he actually has a rose to give out tonight. His talking head explains that he’s seen a glimpse of a softer, more gentle side to this person, and that’s what he’s looking for in a partner. And then… 

Alix gets the rose! FUCK YEAH! GOOD JOB PRODUCERS! This is a perfect example of playing with audience expectations, and another example of Matty not taking any of their shit this year. Producers, how can I hate you and love you at the same time?

Rose Ceremony time!

They’re all still in their costumes, because the show wants to get as much use as possible out of their (presumably exorbitant) costume rental fee.

Osher reveals that only one (one? Really, Osh, there’s still a lot of dead weight here) lady will be going home.  

It’s down to Simone, the absolute best, and ribbon dancer Akoulina.  

Simone gets chosen (FUCK YEAH!) and even gets a cuddle from her bestie, Elora.

Farewell, Akoulina. May you continue to dance forever.

Next Episode: THERE’S A LIFE-SIZE BOARD GAME OF MATTY. F YES I AM INTO THIS SO MUCH. HE LOVES GAMES. I LOVE GAMES. WHERE IS COBIE?

#tv #tv review #recap #tvrecap #thebachelorau #thebachelor

[heidigital-blog]

Más Vale Tarde Que Nunca

Good afternoon my readers! Since I haven’t given you the pleasure to read my latest blog yet, I will give my best now. And after this there is another task about few thoughts from the events that I participated in; this is obligatory, since I missed the lecture about Ultrahack. (I have met Ian McCready already, heard about Ultrahack personally from him and he actually got me a job of some kind in the Upgraded Life Festival, so I’m kind of familiar with what was on the lecture) Let’s have a look at previous week’s findings about digital world. As the title screams in Spanish, better late than ever.

Kwame Afreh

This lecture was about designing a webpage. Mr. Afreh is a freelance web designer and also a former Laurea student. He got us all intrigued, when having a look at Laurea’s own website design as a prospective student’s point of view. This is after all something, that we all have done at some point, I assume, when trying to figure out where to study. It was clear that there are some wonderful aspects but also many things to develop to make it more user-friendly. This is our task in the SSM project as well; trying to figure out, how they could improve their online looks with some gentle face-lifting. Having suitable versions to all three; tablet, mobile and computer are the things our team has been around for as well. Responsive design does play an important role on what image the peculiar company wants to have within’ users. According to Mr. Afreh, this is not even difficult to re-make, just use building blocks to maintain the same idea throughout and test your design widely. There was great slide “Heuristics For User Interface Design: Jakob Nielsen” that I would like to share with you, with some valuable tips for designers of all kind. Jakob Nielsen is a Danish consult, who has written an exciting book called “Designing Web Usability”, which I highly recommend to read.

It is important to understand, who are your users and why do they visit your webpage. This way you can understand your individual customer needs. Mr. Afreh guided us to use only one column layout and avoid multiple same features, when designing new pages. In addition to that, simplified form fields make the page much more visually attractive. Last but not least we learned about SEO & Website accessibility in general and he asked us to take a look at the competitive websites and pick clues from those. For example, the Posti webpage layout differs quite a bit from SSM’s one and Laurea’s webpage is different from Haaga-Helia’s competitive one. I must say, one of the best university websites is maintained in Helsinki University. Very simple and easy access to whatever you’re searching for. This lecture’s objectives were to be able to define market, users and individual users of the webpage, create stories/cases (SSM has great potentiality to spread this even wider), apply design principles and after all, design a responsive webpage. Our team had some great ideas for SSM to use on their websites and social media altogether.

Jari Laine

From Aalto University, the next speaker talked about digitalization and IOT. Mr. Laine’s presentation was visual and very humorous, I found it very amusing. His presentation was divided into four sections; consumer behavior, competitive innovations, cost reduction and technologies available.

Consumer behavior

First Mr. Laine asked us to define digitalization in our heads and said that Facebook is out. I would a bit disagree, for this module is mostly based on Facebook and all my future events is to be searched there the most convenient way for me. All of my news medias are right there all in one place and my relatives & friends around the world easy to reach. It is very much true though that the digital natives play with different rules and consumers are used to digital services. E-shopping is more and more common and despite the easiness (laziness), I still fancy the old-fashioned way. It is a really good question; What might be the future of eServices?

Digital natives are already hyper-connected and today’s omni-channel thinking will impact other industries, which is seen in consumer touch-points. “Steve Jobs killed Nokia”, stated Mr.Laine and somehow I agree with that. It’s quite a bit ironic that Mr.Jobs is no longer with us and Nokia making a bouncing comeback with their 3310 version of the old school Nokia. Consumers can also be lured by not to making any changes at all, which was the case in Burberry’s tactics. Their label is represented, not consumed. Mr.Laine mentioned fast decision-making to be the key when purchasing online. For example, when buying online flight tickets, don’t get surprised if the prices bounce to skies a week after your first scroll;) There were few sources missing on his presentation of who actually count as digital natives, but he had gathered the data quickly I understood. It is tough to define who is an active user and who is still in denial. This reminds me of the complexity of experimenting new services to potential customers and Henry Ford. When creating the car, the reason he didn’t ask the customers what they wanted, was simply put in his words: “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”

Competitive Innovation

The saying “boys want what other boys want” is probably not the best to quote in a digital business blog, but I’m going to do it anyway. There is this technology hype that everybody wants to get their foot in. Start-ups are building digital services and traditional companies are challenged the way that they are forced to enter into digitalization. This means that the leading Finnish companies are having dialogue with customers online and via eServices even more, examples worth mentioning here are Fazer and Stockmann. They both have visually and strategically improved their looks online and created positive imago even further.

Cost reduction

Transferring services from traditional to digital world will eventually cut costs and this should get noticed in the public sector, says Mr.Laine. 3D-printing has already regenerated some items for good and works an amazing example on that what is possible in the world we live in today. Hospitals and medical students, warehouses and car factories and sports facilities are benefiting from this already, to name a few. Here’s a link to see what 3D-printing can do.

https://techcrunch.com/2017/04/07/adidas-latest-3d-printed-shoe-puts-mass-production-within-sight/ Adidas

Technologies available

Viking Line’s Digital Customer Experience was intriguing and informative. Shops on the go are already a savior for many people in a hurry and will be more and more diverse in the future. Our idea as an eService was that there could be just one platform to fill all the papers that need a governmental approval online. This could save some time and could be something to add on the digital registration of cars by Trafi. Similarly, voice recognition will be something that will revolutionize the technology, here’s a good example of that:

http://iamili.com/ WearableTranslator

All in all, technologies that eventually lack human to human touch, will more than ever need one thing for sure. TRUST. That is the valued part that is the glue that sticks the companies and customers together. Take a look at Uber, Airbnb and Tinder applications. Having tried them all, believe me, trust is the key.

Marcin Arcisz

The last speaker came all the way from Academic Work to show us opportunities that occur in the factor, where academic studies and work placement are possible to combine. Academic Work is doing business in cooperation with Laurea UAS. We got a nice presentation of what is the home of the young professionals and which are the new ways of recruiting. Through their company representation, we watched videos from their field of business and the examples shown were Kiinteistömaailma (“Who would ever want to be in the real estate business?”) website and imago upgraded and some talk about LinkedIn marketing & advertisement. Mr.Arcisz ended the presentation with “attitude is what counts” and that’s my thoughts exactly.

Laurea students’ Well-being Event in Seutula and Kivistö district

On a Saturday the 8th of April I got an opportunity to participate in physiotherapy student Jone Vallin’s scholarly thesis event. We worked together with Vantaa area entrepreneurs and students altogether for the well-being of the locals. The idea was to get the people living in Seutula and Kivistö area to come and familiarize themselves with the local offering and that’s where Laurea students hopped in. I was in charge of the marketing and informative site of the event with Jone. I was the only business student, since 95% were future physiotherapists.

There were yoga platforms, zone therapy sessions, massages, balance training, blood pressure tests, gym membership offers and Guasha-treatments. Then there was this option to do some beauty parlor treatments and the ladies went all crazy with that. I did measure my whole body fat and muscle mass with an expensive vehicle because it was free. Don’t know if I ended up laughing after that, but it was beneficial for my training.

What I learned when I wasn’t spending time online, but instead with people of all shapes and ages? I survived a long day with plenty of cups of coffee. I learned a lot from an elderly lady of 85 years old, when I stopped and just listened. I read people’s thoughts and feelings instead of online articles. I didn’t feel stressed after physical work. I slept way better that after scrolling Facebook in the evening. Sometimes it’s best to have these kinds of days as well, just to remind yourself that although everything is available online, you can still end up lost in Vantaa, if you don’t know where the right bus platform is (because your phone died!) and you actually have to talk to people instead of using GPS and online routes. Just saying.

#onlinebusiness #learnfromthegreatest #finalweeks #springvibes

[nofomoartworld]

Art F City: This Week’s Must-See Art Events: Rejoice! Our Times Are Intolerable and Nasty Women Are Front-and-Center

Jenny Holzer’s eerily prescient works from the late 70s and early 80s open at Alden Projects on Friday.

New York’s week is characterized by two dominant themes: revisiting art history, and women owning “nastiness”. Monday, NYU’s Grey Art Gallery is launching Inventing Downtown, an ambitious look at how artist-run spaces informed the city’s radical aesthetics decades ago. Tuesday, Kate Hush illuminates archetypal feminine deception and betrayal at Cooler Gallery. She’ll be joined by legions of Nasty Women starting Thursday, when the Knockdown Center kicks-off a four-day fundraiser for Planned Parenthood featuring art, dance parties, and more. Alden Projects has a timely survey of Jenny Holzer’s early poster work that opens Friday, and White Columns is opening it’s 11th Annual, Looking Back. That’s but a sampling of the art history-mining going on this week. Stay nasty, New York, and remember that you always have been.

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Mon

Grey Art Gallery at NYU

100 Washington Square East New York, NY 7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Website

Inventing Downtown: Artist-Run Galleries in New York City, 1952–1965

Curated by Melissa Rachleff, this exhibition presents the first comprehensive look at midcentury artistic innovations from the perspective of artist-run spaces. We’re big fans of archiving the oft-forgotten artist-run spaces of yesteryear, so this ambitious show is near and dear to our hearts. Many of the wildest advancements in art history happened in spite of established institutions, in lofts and cheap storefronts back when Downtown was in its affordable, seedy glory. Who wouldn’t kill to be a fly on some of those walls? With archival photographs alongside art from the era, Inventing Downtown can hopefully help us fantasize.

Artists: Jim Dine, Red Grooms, Allan Kaprow, Alex Katz, Yayoi Kusama, Claes Oldenburg, Yoko Ono, Mark di Suvero, Emilio Cruz, Lois Dodd, Rosalyn Drexler, Sally Hazelet Drummond, Jean Follett, Lester Johnson, Boris Lurie, Jan Müller, Aldo Tambellini

Tue

Cooler Gallery

22 Waverly Ave Brooklyn, NY 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. Website

Kate Hush: Female Behaviour

Kate Hush’s neons are what I imagine strip club signs would look like if they were designed by Patrick Nagel. By that I mean they’re awesome. Here, though, she wants sexiness to communicate something quite sinister. She seems to invoke and reclaim the misogynistic archetype of the deceptive seductress:

“The men have suffered, and will suffer. The women are conniving and manipulative, naturally. Their tears are phony and their heels are high. I am bringing to light, literally, their wicked ways. They are fiery, guileful, calculating, crazy … or is it just that their brightness is harder to shield?”

Wed

David Nolan Gallery

527 West 29th Street New York, NY 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.Website

Barry Le Va: Cleaved Wall

 Barry Le Va, pioneer of Process Art, returns to David Nolan Gallery with a 1969 piece that made it to the Whitney one year later. “Cleaved Wall” was conceived of following a Midwestern road trip that involved a stop at a butcher supply shop. There, Le Va purchased meat cleavers, which he began using to hack patterns into the gallery wall. This is a very cool chance to see a piece from the Wild West days of conceptual art resurrected.

Galleria Ca' d'Oro New York

529 W. 20th St. New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.WebsiteWebsite

Tabula Rasa

Apparently there was an ancient Roman art trend of trompe l’oeil “Unswept Floor” mosaics. These depicted the remains of decadent feasts, as if party guests had discarded half-eaten rare delicacies on the floor. Leslie Lyons and J.B. Wilson draw inspiration from this art historical oddity, creating sublimated print tiles that both reference the “Unswept Floor” as well figurative tile works which “remove the trappings of mythologizing human behavior and return to a place of rational accounting and purification.”

I’m not sure what that means, but one of the tile floors depicts spent bullet casings and money. I can’t believe we haven’t seen this in a rapper’s foyer on MTV’s Cribs.

Thu

COMPANY

88 Eldridge Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Paul Kopkau: Palm Crest & Suites

Paul Kopkau’s dystopian wall works mash-up details from mass-produced interiors. These include luxury hotels with signifiers of domesticity to apartments that aspire to become more like luxury hotels for the Airbnb market. To add to the pseudo-home-non-place vibe, the whole installation will be carpeted. I’m curious about this show—if decor blandness has become the signifier of commodified space, how do we approach its representation as a decorative object?

Knockdown Center

52-19 Flushing Ave Queens, NY 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.Website

Nasty Women

A weekend-long fundraiser exhibition for Planned Parenthood in Trump’s America, this show was open to artists who wished to donate artwork to be sold for $100 or less. It could be a good opportunity to snag something cool for a good cause. We can’t guarantee the quality of the work here, but this opening kicks off four days of programming that looks great—from dance parties to art installations. We’re especially looking forward to Friday night’s “Chasm,” curated by artist Julia Sinelnikova and featuring work from Alfredo Salazar-Caro, JJ Brine, and others. And Saturday, the organizers will host a sign-making workshop in anticipation of the Women’s March on Washington. Rad.

Fri

Alden Projects

34 Orchard Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Rejoice! Our Times Are Intolerable: Jenny Holzer Street Posters '77-'82

There’s perhaps no art-historical exhibition this week as timely as Jenny Holzer’s work from the twilight Carter era and advent of the awful Reagan administration. Inspired by anonymous posters she encountered in pre-gentrification Times Square, Holzer mashed-up conflicting statements, ideological truisms, and other blocks of arresting text for colorful posters. Many of these read so much like the contradictory manifestos we’re bombarded with in today’s politically uncertain media—almost eerily prescient.

Lehmann Maupin

201 Chrystie Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

Kader Attia: Reason's Oxymorons

Kader Attia is one of my favorite living artists, largely because he’s unafraid to cast a critical eye across various cultural lines to search for humor and empathy in misunderstanding and absurdity in different societies’ hypocrisies. He usually accomplishes this task without an obnoxiously didactic tone and a light, highly-aestheticized touch.

So one line in this press release caught me off-guard:

“In Western society, there is an unspoken ideology of flawlessness where any physical injury or deformity is ‘fixed’ with plastic surgery or other extreme interventions; applied to emotional wounds, this approach can result in suppression. In non-Western cultures, there is often a celebration of flaws or deliberate and ritual acts of scarification and physical modification.”

That’s such a bizarrely specious, brash statement I don’t even know where to start—particularly coming from someone who attended art school in “The West” and must’ve seen more than his fair share of “acts of scarification and physical modification.” What about North Africa’s booming, unspoken industry of hymen “repair”?

Obligatory knee-jerk West-bashing aside, the show’s worth checking out. Attia’s installation evokes a sterile office or research space, wherein video interviews with African and European psychiatrists. philosophers, and other professionals in the industry of thought discuss a variety of topics. These include “Genocide,” “Totem and Fetish,” “Reason and Politics,” and “Trance.” My hope here is that these are presented more like individuals with agency dialoguing despite cultural differences and less like an ethnographic study. Attia’s usual nuance could be the antidote to the dominant narrative of reductive identity politics.

MAW

56 Henry Street SE 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM

Matthew Leifheit, Your Giorgio

We’re big fans of the work of Matthew Leifheit—a former AFC intern and photographer, writer and curator extraordinaire. His new show, “Your Giorgio”, includes 13 works inspired by the secret scrapbooks of George Platt Lynes. Expect to see a collaged book, a short film and original photographs—all poetic interpretations of the original documentation. Those seeking to get a flavor of the work need look no further than our own F.A.G. Bar presented at Miami last year. Leifheit presented a large 8 foot photograph drawn from Lynes archives. It was the center piece of our show and a draw to all who saw it.

Sat

Smack Mellon

92 Plymouth Street Brooklyn, NY 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.Website

ruby onyinyechi amanze: STAR FISH

One can get lost in the large, dreamy drawings of ruby onyinyechi amanze, despite generous amounts of negative space. Her series “aliens, hybrids and ghosts” features surreal chimeric figures floating through ambiguous spaces defined by photo transfer, calculated mark-making, and washy mixed-media. They feel introverted and contemplative but don’t lack a sense of humor.

Lichtundfire

175 Rivington Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.Website

Sportsvergnügen

Join curators D. Dominick Lombardi and Augustus Goertz for an exhibition walk-through and artist talk before this show’s opening reception—this show about SPORTS!

The two were encouraged to seek out artists making work about sports after a Google image search for “sports related fine art” brought up little in the way of contemporary art. That’s not to say the two aren’t aware of and interested in millennia worth of art historical precedent. This looks to be a really smart show about something a lot of the art world thinks is kinda dumb.

Artists: Gennadi Barbush, Ryan Cronin, Chris Dimino, Don Doe, Cary Leibowitz (Candyass), D.Dominick Lombardi, Ray Materson, Antony Petracca, Tyson Reeder, Karen Shaw, Lewis Smith and Robert Yoder

White Columns

320 W 13th Street New York, NY 6:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. Website

Looking Back / The 11th White Columns Annual

We know nothing about White Column’s 11th Annual other than the fact that it’s been curated by Anne Doran.

A lot of the names on this list, though, are enough for us to recommend it:

Bas Jan Ader, Hilton Als, Sara Cwynar, Raoul De Keyser, Sara Deraedt, Liz Deschenes, Thornton Dial, William Eggleston, Nicole Eisenman, John Ferris, Silvia Gruner, Marcia Hafif, Denzil Hurley, Susan Te Kahurangi King, Kinke Kooi, William Leavitt, Zoe Leonard, Sylvia Plimack Mangold, Carol Rama, Jessi Reaves, Robert Bittenbender, Cameron Rowland, Fred Sandback

Sun

Anthology Film Archives

32 Second Avenue New York, NY 7:30 p.m.Website

Inventing Downtown: Artists Make Movies

The ambitious Inventing Downtown exhibition program includes this gem, a night of artist-produced films from the tumultuous 1960s Manhattan art scene. For most of these films, this is an all-too rare chance to see them on the big screen, so don’t pass-up the opportunity.

Red Grooms & Mimi Gross: FAT FEET (1965-66, 19 min, 16mm, b&w) Alfred Leslie: THE LAST CLEAN SHIRT (1964, 42 min, 16mm, b&w. Preserved by Anthology Film Archives.) Yoko Ono: ONE (1965, 5 min, 16mm-to-digital, b&w, silent) Carolee Schneemann: VIET FLAKES (1965, 7 min, 16mm-to-digital, b&w) THE MEDIUM IS THE MEDIUM (1969, 17 min, video)

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#IFTTT #Art F City